Into the Ether
by Swimming the Same Deep Waters
Summary: Dimitri and Rose share a hopeless love. Knowing they shouldn't care for each other doesn't make holding back any easier. When a Strigoi threat abroad sees Dimitri reallocated on a suicide mission, will he make it out alive? And what will he discover back home if he does? True love never runs smoothly, and life is full of surprises! Post VA Book1.
1. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 1

It was Thursday, and I bounced into afternoon practice in a great mood! It was finally December, which meant the end of year holidays were almost upon us. I was holding my own again in classes, thanks to all the extra studying I'd been doing, and I was close to topping our combat modules again, thanks to Dimitri.

Dimitri, aka Guardian Belikov, was the one who'd been assigned to retrieve Lissa and me from Portland where we'd been living in the human world. When I first met the twenty-four-year-old six-foot-seven-inch Guardian I'd hated him. He represented the Academy and the Moroi establishment. Everything I'd fought to get Lissa away from. But fate has a sense of irony. Within days of returning to St Vladimir's Academy in Montana, Guardian Belikov had become my combat mentor, and over time _so_ much more.

I'd started crushing on him quite early on, but with his stiff Guardian mask he'd never let on that he liked me, too. Although following the time he'd seen me in my bra when he'd caught me making out with Jesse Zeklos, I'd caught the occasional appreciative look when we sparred or while we were working out.

Things had taken a dramatic turn the night of the Academy's Equinox Dance. I'd noticed his admiring gaze when he'd seen me with Mason, and just for a moment, I'd let myself imagine it was Dimitri taking me to the dance; that I'd be pressed hard up against _his_ body dancing. In my mind I could almost feel his huge hands encircling my waist, his full soft lips whispering in his heavy accent into my ear. Of course, that hadn't been the way it worked out. I'd ended up breaking Mia's nose after she was a bitch to Lissa, then Lissa had been kidnapped. I'd gone to Dimitri's dorm room to get his help, and then something unexpected had happened. Dimitri and I nearly made love!

Lissa's abductor had put a lust spell on the necklace he'd given me, and when I saw Dimitri, it activated. We'd made out, and I'd ended up naked on his bed. I came so close to giving him my virginity, but just in time Dimitri had taken off the necklace and thrown it out the window. We'd saved Lissa, and her kidnapper Victor Dashkov was detained, and then Dimitri told me that the whole thing was just a spell and that he didn't like me in that way.

Two days later I'd visited Victor, and he'd told me about being shadow-kissed, the term for people like me. People brought back from the dead by spirit. And he'd told me lust charms didn't _create_ an attraction, just encouraged what was already there. I nearly died again before I had the chance to find out whether that was true. Victor's daughter willingly turned Strigoi to try and break her father out of the Academy's jail. She'd attacked while I was visiting and I tried to take her down but faltered. Dimitri found us and had to finish what I couldn't, but as he was carrying me to the infirmary, he finally admitted that he _did_ want me and that he wished we could be together. He also told me all the reasons that couldn't happen.

Since then we'd gone back to mentor and student and didn't mention what had happened. But the feelings within me were growing, and I knew they were within him, too. He was still professional, but more and more he was opening up to me. He'd tell me stories from his youth, or we'd chat and joke as we'd do our morning laps. Sometimes he'd talk to me about issues with his work, or he'd listen while I talked about the research I'd done into being shadow-kissed.

More and more often, these days, we'd discuss the distressing news coming from Court. The growing Strigoi problem. Not really public news, yet, Dimitri was privy to information about larger and larger nests that were being discovered in Europe and Russia. For years Strigoi had been solitary creatures, hunting individually or in packs of two or three at the most. But that was changing. Somehow Strigoi were starting to organize themselves, banding into larger groups and using their strength to make bolder and more daring attacks. It was truly frightening, but thankfully nothing too bad like that was happening here yet.

With each confidence shared, each discussion we had, we grew closer. Soon seeing each other twice a day in training wasn't enough. Last week, when I'd confessed pre-calculus was the only subject I wasn't making headway with, he'd volunteered to spend a couple of hours on Sunday in the Library with me going through it. In two hours he'd taught me more than I'd learned in two months with my teacher, but maybe that's because I'd listen to _anything_ that man said to me.

He'd been explaining a problem, both of us leaning over my textbook sitting close side by side when I'd turned to look at him. I'd been mesmerized by his dark chin-length hair escaping the hair tie at his nape. His sensuous lips, the tiny bit of stubble just becoming apparent on his jawline. He must have sensed me looking at him because he looked up at me.

"Roza?"

My heart had quickened. I loved it when he called me Roza. He only ever did it when we were alone. When he was feeling particularly close to me. But every time he did, it brought to mind how he'd sounded moaning it the night of Lissa's kidnapping. The night he'd almost claimed me for his own.

"I've tried, Comrade. I just can't push thoughts of that night out of my mind," I'd whispered apologetically. "The feeling of your hands and lips all over me. I _know_ we can't be together. But I want you."

I expected him to get angry. Or to give me another lecture on why wanting each other was wrong. But he didn't.

"I know, milaya," he said sadly, grasping my hand under the table where no one could see. "I think about it too. More than I should. Sometimes I wish I'd never taken that necklace off you," he admitted in a shamed whisper.

We'd sat there side by side holding hands. Not daring to do what we both so desperately wanted to, but likewise not wanting to deny ourselves the tiny comfort and relief holding hands afforded.

The tension hadn't decreased since then. Sure I covered it with jokes, and he just pretended it wasn't there. But we both felt it. And this morning had been no exception. We'd sparred, and for the first time, I'd honest to goodness taken him down! I was so freaking excited I'd been jumping up and down on the spot in glee. I'd demanded a boon from him, and surprisingly he'd complied.

"What do you want, Rose?" he'd asked me, a ghost of amusement on his lips.

"You know what I want, Comrade," I'd teased, never thinking he'd do it.

But he had. He'd leaned in and kissed me. What started as a soft brush of his lips against mine almost instantly became something much more primal. In seconds he'd pushed me up against a wall his mouth ravishing mine, hands grasping at one another in want and need. God knows what would have happened if the outer door to the gym hadn't banged shut, warning us we had a second, two at most, before someone would be coming in. We'd sprang apart panting. Dimitri leaned over as though he were gasping for air after a strenuous session, although I knew it was actually to conceal the bulge of excitement showing in the crotch of his sweats. I'd slumped against the wall also panting, frantically trying to calm my racing thoughts and pulse. Knowing I needed to appear natural, I started a conversation, asking my Russian God about ways to fall in a fight without dropping your stake. The inner doors had opened and in walked Alberta.

Having grown up at St Vladimir's, I'd known the Head of Guard Alberta Petrov since I was four years old, so I had a pretty good read on her. But even I couldn't decipher Alberta's face today. She had her 'duty' face on, but beneath it, there was something else. Something I couldn't place. Still – I knew that from where we'd been Alberta wouldn't have been able to spot us, so I looked up and smiled at her. "Hey Alberta, what's up?"

"Rose," she'd said kindly. "Just here to ask Guardian Belikov to meet with me in my office after you're finished training. Say twenty minutes Dimitri?"

He'd nodded, looking a little confused. Alberta almost never used first names with the Guardians, and certainly not in front of students.

"What do you think that's about?" I'd asked after she'd left. "You don't think she saw us?"

"No," Dimitri had said with a small smile. "It's probably just more news from Court. Now hit the showers. Much as I'd like to spend all day talking with the woman I love, some of us have to work for a living you know!"

We'd both stopped and stared at one another, stunned as we realized what he'd just said. I watched emotions flit across his face. Fear. Regret. Resignation. Defiance. Longing. Hope. I honestly couldn't tell if he'd wanted me to say it back or not. Choosing not to spook him, I leaned in and carefully brushed my lips against his.

"Sure thing, Comrade. Go see Alberta – I'll see you after class for training." I'd picked up my gym bag and walked off towards the women's change rooms. Halfway there I'd turned back and caught his eye. "Don't work too hard, Comrade. I worry about the man I love wearing himself out." Not waiting to see his reaction I retreated into the safety of the showers, spending fifteen minutes under the warm water hugging myself and replaying his words in my mind.

He and his gym bag were gone by the time I'd finished dressing for the day, so I'd headed in a daze to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Since then I'd been floating on air. Dimitri had told me he loved me, even if it had kind of slipped out, and he hadn't meant to. I don't think I heard a word in classes all day. Lissa had had to repeat herself about four times over lunch, and even then I barely took it in. In my combat class, Mason had managed to pin me three times, and I didn't even care when he gave me shit about it! I'd kept looking out, hoping to see Dimitri guarding somewhere on campus, but I wasn't so lucky. Eventually, the final bell rang, and I almost broke the land speed record getting to the gym for afternoon training – bouncing into the gym in a great mood!

My mood shattered as soon as I saw him. One look at Dimitri and like Icarus, I was crashing towards the earth. He was sitting on a bench at the side of the gym. He was in casual clothing and didn't have his gym bag with him. I wanted to turn and run. Even before he looked up at me, I knew I didn't want to hear whatever he was going to say to me. That it was going to break my heart.

Like always he could feel my presence. Looking up at me with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen, he held his hand out to me. I went to him, and he grasped my hand in his, pulling me to sit on his lap. I couldn't reconcile his actions with the way he looked. Something was wrong, horribly wrong.

"Comrade?"

He pulled me tight against him, dropping a kiss onto the side of my face.

"Milaya? You know how we've been talking about the Strigoi forming nests? In Europe? How Court has been trying to figure out what's going on?"

"Yes?" We'd spoken about it on more than one occasion. How Strigoi were adapting the way they fought, banding together to hunt for the Moroi blood they so craved.

"Well, there's been news from Court. They've had reports of a particularly large nest that's been formed. Over two hundred Strigoi. Such a large group of Strigoi would be enough to take on _any_ Moroi or Dhampir stronghold. St Vladimir's, Court. None of them would stand a chance against a concentrated attack from a group that size. They have to be neutralized."

My Russian God paused. I could feel him psyching himself up.

"They're sending an army of Guardians, Roza. The highest ranking Guardians from all over the world. They're sending us to try and exterminate the threat."

"Us?" I muttered, the word sounding foreign as it slipped from my lips. Such a tiny word but so very loaded.

"I'm one of the ones they're sending, milaya. I fly out Tuesday."

"Fly out? For how long? Comrade?" The tears were trickling down my cheeks before I'd even known they were there.

"Roza," he whispered, his voice caressing my name with such love. "This isn't a fight anyone is expected to return from." He wrapped his arms securely around me before he added, "it's a suicide mission."

Part of me had known it before he said it. It wasn't the first time Court had ordered something like that. "The loss of a few to safeguard the many." It was their polite way of saying they'd send just enough Guardians to take care of the problem but not enough to give them a fighting chance of actually surviving it.

"They can't! It's not right! It's not fair!"

"They can, Roza," Dimitri said steadily. "This is part of what we train for. It's my duty, and they come first."

He sounded so resigned, but I couldn't understand how.

"So what happens now? You just keep doing your shifts, go to work and pretend nothing's happening? Get on a plane on Tuesday with a smile and a wave, and I never see you again?"

I was bordering on hysteria, and he knew it.

"Shhh, milaya," he soothed, running his huge calloused hands up and down my arms softly. "Alberta's taken me off shifts and given me the next few days to get my affairs in order. I'm going to drive to Missoula in a few hours – I have some things I need to attend to. I'll be back on Tuesday morning."

I started wailing then. I just couldn't control it. "So this is it? Goodbye? How could you tell me you love me this morning then leave me this afternoon? Do you care for me at _all?_ Was there ever anything there for you?"

It was a low blow, and I knew it. The guy was being sent to fight to the death, and all I could do was torture him about us. Like he didn't have enough going on without me adding to it! But I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I just couldn't.

"Roza, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I couldn't tell you before, but I suppose it hardly matters now. I think about you constantly. Your smile, your laugh. Our mornings and afternoons together are what makes my days worthwhile, even though most days it's all I can do to stop myself pulling you into my arms and loving you silly."

And hearing him say it just made it worse. Confirmation that it wasn't just me. That he felt the same way I did. Taking in a great gulp of air I made a decision. If I loved him, and I did with ever fiber of my being, then I would show him. Every second that we had left together, I'd spend showing him how much I cared. Giving him the love he deserved.

"Take me with you."

"Milaya?"

"Take me to Missoula with you. If you only have four days left here, I want to spend every possible moment of it together."

He didn't say anything, just held me on his lap and rocked me as I tucked my face in against his neck. We were still sitting like that when the gym door opened and Guardian Stan Alto walked in. We both looked up, too weary to even bother trying to move into a more conventional position. I guess my whimpering and wet cheeks and Dimitri's sober expression said it all.

Stan turned and barked to a group of students about to follow him through the door. "Change of plans! Hit the running track. I want to see ten laps _right now_!"

Turning back to regard us, he gave us a look of such pity. "Sorry. I'll give you some privacy," he muttered, shutting the door behind him.

Something about his words must have resonated with Dimitri because next thing I knew he was setting me on my feet.

"Come on – let's do this."

"Comrade?"

"Let's go ask Alberta if you can come to Missoula with me."

For the first time ever he held my hand as we crossed campus. On any other day we would undoubtedly have run into a dozen people, but on the day when it finally didn't matter if anyone saw us, of course, no one did.

He knocked, and we entered Alberta's office, and I saw her take in my face and the fact we were holding hands. To her credit, she didn't look surprised. And now I recognized the look I'd seen in her eyes this morning. It was sympathy.

"Dimitri, Rose. Please take a seat. What can I do for you?"

"I've told Rose about my reallocation," he stated needlessly. I am pretty sure that one look at my swollen red eyes was enough to give _that_ away. "As you know, I need to go to Missoula to sort out my affairs, and I'd like to take Rose with me."

"Why?" Alberta asked softly.

"You know why," Dimitri said, keeping his gaze level upon her.

"Yes," she sighed, sounding older than her fifty-something years, "I suppose I do. Rose? Are you sure? You know what's going to happen come Tuesday? That can't be changed."

"I'm sure," I said, willing the tears back from my eyes, "and I know. That's why these next few days are so precious."

She nodded, reaching into her filing cabinet and pulling out a form, scribbling a few lines on it and handing it to Dimitri.

"Show that at the gate. I've approved a leave pass for Novice Hathaway until 9 pm Tuesday. Your flight is scheduled for midnight. You can take one of the Academy cars. Make up an appropriate excuse for her absence, but for goodness sakes don't tell anyone the real reason. And don't give me reason to regret this," she said, standing as a cue for us to leave.

"Thank you, Alberta," I said, moving around the table hug her. She was the closest thing I had to a mother, and I appreciated the only reason she was agreeing to such an unorthodox request was because she understood how I felt about Dimitri.

"How long have you known?" I asked her softly.

"Since before you did yourself, I think," she said with the saddest of smiles.


	2. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 2

It was an odd feeling. Joy while still feeling so desperately sad. And suddenly I felt apprehensive. After all the wanting it looked like we were finally going to get our chance.

"Are you already packed?" I asked shyly, looking up at my Russian God.

He nodded. "I might need to pack a few extra things now you're coming, though," he said with a loving smile. "How about we go to my room, and I'll pick up a few more things, and then we can go to your dorm, and you can pack?"

I followed him towards the Guardian wing. It was only the second time I'd been there, the first being the evening Lissa was kidnapped. Opening his door, he stood back and motioned me inside. Looking around one could be forgiven for thinking he'd already packed up all his belongings, but I knew from last time that this was the way his room looked. Meticulously neat and clean, with almost no personal touches.

I sat on his bed, fingering the fabric of his beautiful handmade quilt. I remembered it from the night of the lust charm. How he'd laid me back on it as he'd worshipped my body. I shivered in recollection, trying to push from my mind the look of desire and adoration he'd had on his face. Noticing me looking at the quilt, he quietly commented, "My grandmother, mother, and sisters made it one winter. I love having a little slice of home with me."

"It's beautiful," I murmured, pondering how much they must love him to spend so many hours making it for him. "Have you told them?"

"Yeah. Alberta told me after practice this morning. She took me straight off shift so I came up here and made what preparations I could, including ringing home."

He said it with such a tone of finality that it made me appreciate how lucky I was to have him here to hold and love, even if it was just for a few days. I could only imagine how devastating it must have been for them to hear such news over the phone. To know their chances of ever seeing him again were minuscule at best.

He looked so stoic yet so pained. I couldn't bear it. So I stood up and nestled myself in his arms. "So what do you need to do in Missoula, Comrade? And is there anything, in particular, you _want_ to do?"

Stroking my hair, he smiled at me. "Well I need to go to the bank and organize a few things there and I have an appointment with a lawyer on Monday, but that's it for the things I have to get done. As for wants? I want to see a movie at a cinema, not on TV. I want to take you on a proper date to a restaurant. I want to slow dance with you. I want to get really really drunk. I want to go shopping with you, and I want to sleep in."

"I think we can make that work," I said with a smile. It wasn't that I wasn't hurting, believe me, I was. But I didn't want his last weekend of freedom, _our_ weekend, to be filled with tears. So I pushed it down, determined to make these last few days as wonderful as they could be.

He added some extra clothes to his bag, looking around to make sure everything was right before he left. "I should get some boxes so I can pack what needs to go back to Baia," he said. "Send the rest to charity."

"No." The word was out of my mouth instantly. "Comrade, just _no_. They have heaps of empty Guardian rooms; it's not like they need yours. Please leave it all here. Tell me what you want sent and if... if you don't come back I'll send it for you."

"I don't want you having to do that," he said softly, sadness in his eyes.

" _Please_ Comrade? I need to know that there's a home here waiting for you, even if you don't. I know it's stupid, but while your things are here, it feels like there's somewhere for you to come back to. That there's still a chance you _might_ come back."

He looked at me, seeing the need in my eyes. "How about we compromise? When we get back on Tuesday I'll get a box and we'll pack it together, but I'll leave it here with the rest of my things? That way if I don't make it back you'll know what needs to be sent."

I nodded. I wasn't superstitious, but I wasn't willing to see him send and give away his things before he'd even gone. And now I knew Alberta knew about us, I'm sure she'd understand that should the worst happen, that that was a job I needed to do. "Thank you. I know it's silly but it just makes me feel a lot better."

"Of course, milaya."

"Milaya? What does that mean?" He'd only recently started calling me that, so I hadn't had a chance to ask Lissa. Lissa! I'd have to tell her I was disappearing until Tuesday. _Vlad_ knows what excuse I'd have to give her!

"It means sweetheart or darling, but a little more."

I looked at him very flattered. "You call me such a gorgeous thing, or Roza, and I call you Comrade. I think I got the better part of the deal," I admitted apologetically.

"I've grown to like you calling me Comrade," he confessed. "I'd never let anyone else do it, but from you, it just seems natural. You're my Roza and I'm your Comrade."

"I feel that way too," I said shyly, putting my arms around his waist and tilting my lips to his. If calling him Comrade felt natural, so did being in his arms like this. He kissed me gently, and I felt the usual tingle of desire. But this time there was promise, too. We were going to Missoula for four nights. Presumably, we'd be staying somewhere. _Sleeping_ somewhere.

"Come on. Let's go to my room and pack. You can help me come up with an excuse for Lissa. I take it no one's told her you're leaving or why?"

"Not yet. I discussed it with Alberta, and only Principal Kirova and senior Guardian staff have been told. The quieter the operation is kept, the better. Alberta will tell Lissa and everyone else I've gone on leave. After I've been gone a fortnight or so she'll explain the real situation and the reason it had to be kept quiet."

"Did Alberta know you were going to tell me?" I asked, looking at the floor. Perhaps the plan had been to keep me in the dark, too?

"Yes. Not telling you was _never_ an option, milaya," he said kissing me again. "Let's go get your things."

We didn't hold hands this time, but that was ok. We walked through the building in companionable silence. At my room Dimitri sat on my single bed, looking around him curiously. I saw him taking in my photo wall, his eyes crinkling and his lips twitching as he noticed I'd cut the head and shoulders photos of him from the last two yearbooks and pinned them up along with photos of Lissa, myself and our friends.

"I don't have any photos of you," I explained in embarrassment.

"We'll fix that this weekend," he promised, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and pulling me onto his lap.

"This feels so right," I mumbled, more to myself than him. Somehow, we'd taken the step beyond mentor and student, but it was so natural. There was no awkwardness or embarrassment. This is how things were meant to be; I knew that now.

After a few more kisses I stood up and grabbed a duffel bag quickly throwing in some clothes. He'd mentioned a date and slow dancing so I pulled my few nice dresses from hangers and stuffed them in, along with jeans, tops, sweaters, a few pair of shoes and my makeup. While Dimitri was standing and taking a closer look at my photo wall, I quickly plucked all my nicest underwear from the drawer and shoved it in the bag, too. I didn't think we'd be training, but he mentioned sleeping in so I packed a couple of sleep tops and shorts. I was hoping I wouldn't need them, but it would be embarrassing to assume and get it wrong.

"Are you ready Roza?" he asked, interrupting my reverie. "The motel is booked, so we can check in any time, but we can rest here and go later if you want?"

It was 5 am. Late afternoon vampire time.

"Let's go now, Comrade. We can be in Missoula by 7.30 am. I want to sit and watch the sunrise with you."

He gave me a beautiful smile. "I'd like that. Don't forget your camera, milaya, and grab a coat – it's cold out there." He picked up his bag as well as my own, and we walked downstairs to the garages. "You'd better tell Lissa you're going," he said. "Mason, too. You could say it's a mock qualifier? I was meant to take you to your real one week after next, and no doubt you'll still go, so you could tell them it's training for that?"

"I hate lying to them, but you're right. Since I can't tell them the truth that's as good an excuse as any."

I pulled out my phone and texted them both, not saying where I was going or that it was with Dimitri, just that it was training for my qualifiers. And then Dimitri was helping me into one of the Academy's black SUVs and we were headed for the Academy gates.

The ride to Missoula was uneventful. We talked and he explained the little that he knew about the mission. That someone was forming a Strigoi army and that it was more structured and regimented than anything Court had ever seen. There'd been several attacks, but the whereabouts of the nest itself was not known. They already had a group tracking it and they thought they were close, hence why the attack team was being assembled.

"Secrecy is important, so I don't even know where I'm going," he said, "Just that it's Europe."

"Will you be able to take your phone?" I asked, hopeful for at least some word after midnight Tuesday.

"No. The instructions were really clear that after we fly out, there'll be no opportunity to contact anyone until the mission is completed." He didn't explain further, but I knew what he was telling me. Tuesday was it for us.

"You can talk to me about how you're feeling, you know. You don't have to be brave for me," I told him.

"I know, milaya," he said taking his eyes off the road briefly to look at me. "That's one of the things I love about you – it's so easy to be myself with you." He grabbed my hand and placed it on his thigh, resting his hand on top of it.

It was still dark when we pulled into a motel in Missoula. "I'm sorry. When I booked I thought it was just going to be me, so I didn't bother booking anywhere special," Dimitri said, clearly embarrassed.

It made me sad that for his last free weekend he hadn't thought to spoil himself even a little. "This is fine," I assured him, giving him a gentle squeeze on his thigh. "Looks like there're heaps of things in walking distance which is nice. After living in the human world I miss it sometimes, you know? The Academy is so far away from _everything!"_

"I'll check us in. If it's no good we'll switch to somewhere better later today," he promised.

I smiled at him. As long as it had a bed and a door that locked I'd be satisfied with it! I finally let my thoughts wander to _that_ aspect of things. I wonder if he was as nervous about it as I was? I mean, he hadn't actually _said_ he intended for us to make love, but I certainly didn't intend to return to the Academy still a virgin!

"Milaya?" he asked, looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Sorry I was in my own world there, what did you say?"

He looked a little sheepish. "I was asking whether you'd like a twin room or a king or I could get you a room of your own if that's what you'd prefer?" The poor guy looked so nervous. We both knew what he was really asking.

"I want to be in your arms all night, so let's go for a king if they've got one," I suggested softly. I didn't want there to be _any_ misunderstanding between us about how I saw things.

His tender smile said it all. "I'll see what I can do," he said with such love, leaning across to kiss me gently before disappearing into the motel office. I sat alone in the car, wondering how this would go. Would we go in and make love straight away? I mean – I was willing, but it would be nice for it to be a little more spontaneous. But then it wasn't like time was on our side, I thought with a mental sigh.

Before I could ponder it too much, Dimitri was back with a set of keys and a satisfied expression. Hopefully not twin beds, then. He climbed back into the SUV and drove us around the corner into the motel courtyard. The motel was set out in a large L shape and Dimitri parked at the far end of one wing in front of the room furthest from the road.

"Come on milaya. Let's get our stuff into the room. I believe you wanted to watch the sunrise with me?"

I shivered. We'd seen the sunrise together many times, but always running on the track, through the gym windows or as we ate dinner. Today I wanted to sit within his embrace and just savour it.

We climbed out of the car, quickly moving into the shelter of the room. Turning on the lights, I looked around. The room was nothing fancy but it was clean and comfortable. With a king sized bed, there was also a sofa facing a TV and a little table with two chairs. Peering into the bathroom, I saw it had a shower, toilet, and basin but also a two-person spa. Hmm – I'd not previously considered it, but a bath with Dimitri could be _wonderful!_

Dimitri went to the far side of the room and pulled back the curtains to reveal a large glass sliding door that opened out onto a little patio, beyond which I could just make out a view of the mountains through the darkness. He pulled the sofa around to face the glass door and found an extra blanket in the cupboard.

"This window faces east. It would be warmer if we sat indoors and watched the sun rise from here?"

"Sounds perfect, Comrade," I said, hanging my coat and fishing my camera out of my bag. I plonked myself onto the sofa, turning to face my Russian God camera in hand.

"Oh, they have hot chocolate," he noticed looking at the tea and coffee facilities as he found the heating and cranked it. "Would you like one?"

I nodded, snapping a couple of photos of Dimitri as he boiled the kettle and fixed hot drinks for both of us. He put our hot chocolates down on a side table and switched off the lights before sitting on the far end of the sofa, opening his arms to me. I sat in front of him, letting him pull me back against his strong chest as I pulled the blanket over the two of us and we sat together in the darkness.

Underneath the blanket, he wrapped his arms around my waist, one of his large hands resting on the top of one of my breasts. He sighed in contentment and we sat in silence waiting for the sky to start to lighten.

"It's been years since I've just watched the sunrise," he admitted. "There always seems to be so many other things to do."

"Not today," I whispered. "Today you're all mine, and this is what we need to be doing." He started stroking the top of my breast through my top, placing soft kisses along my neck. I exhaled heavily, loving the feeling of his lips and hands on me.

"I thought after the sunrise maybe we could sleep? It's been a big day and I want to hold you," Dimitri said sincerely. "We could sleep until noon and transition to daylight hours? Then I could go to the bank and after we could go shopping?"

"That sounds good," I murmured. I had no plans other than just being with him. We sat and watched as the scene outside slowly came to light. I could feel his chest rising with each breath, his heart beating steadily. It was soothing to be so close.

"Dimitri?" I said, not really wanting to ask the question but needing to know the answer. "Why did you want to come to Missoula for four days? You could have done what you need to do in a day trip. What were you planning to do if I hadn't come with you? Didn't you want to stay at the Academy with me?"

He sighed, his lips pausing at my neck. "I was going to do what I had to do and then sleep, watch movies and think about you," he confessed. "I thought it might be easier for you if I told you and then just left."

"You were wrong," I whispered. "I know it's only four days, but I want to spend every moment with you. I meant what I said, Comrade. I love you. I know I shouldn't, but I do." I passed his hot chocolate to him and then grabbed my own. They were cool enough to drink now, so we finished them as we watched the sky lightening - oranges and pinks heralding the start of a new day. "No more hiding," I whispered so quietly I didn't know whether he'd heard me until I felt his arms tighten around me.

The sun itself had just peeked over the horizon when my Russian God whispered in my ear, "Thank you, milaya, that was beautiful. Now let's go to bed."


	3. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 3

Waking up in my man's arms for the first time was one of the singular best experiences of my life. I honestly have no idea how I'd managed to fall asleep, but somehow all it took was him cradling me in his warm embrace under the warmth of the quilt, and I'd drifted straight off. He'd set his watch for midday, but as I opened my eyes, I looked at the clock radio on the nightstand and could see it was still a few minutes before then.

We were lying spooned against one another; my back pressed up hard against his chest. My neck was nesting on one of his arms, which he'd curled around me, his other arm draped around my waist. I was completed enveloped by him, and the feeling was unbelievably good. He was already awake, his lips nuzzling at the back of my neck, the long fingers of one hand lazily drawing little patterns on the skin of my upper arm. Before we'd climbed into bed together, he'd stripped to his boxers, and I was wearing the red crop top sports bra and boyleg briefs I'd had on to wear to training. Not very exciting, but since sleep had been on his mind, I don't suppose it mattered.

"Hey sleepy," he murmured, love and affection evident in his voice. Looks like I wasn't the only one happy to wake up together.

"Hey yourself," I said, turning to face him and pulling back slightly so I could admire him. He looked relaxed and happy. I hadn't seen him shirtless since the night of the lust charm, and I could see my memory hadn't done him justice. Every muscle was well defined. Taut and toned, his abs were a work of art, as were his pecs. Hell – his whole body was magnificent!

Without thinking about it, I leaned forward, my lips pressing against his chest, loving the heat from his body. He moaned and pulled me closer to him, stroking my hair softly as he breathed through his open mouth, trying to remain calm. Any attempt at serenity was blown when my lips found one of his nipples, licking it lightly before closing my lips around it, feeling it tighten and peak in my mouth. Weird! I knew mine did that when I was excited, but I didn't know it happened to men, too. I guess there was a lot I didn't know about pleasuring a man, I thought apprehensively. Still, if his excited gasp was anything to go by so far so good!

"That feels nice milaya," he groaned softly, toying with my hair and wrapping his fingers around the wild tendrils as I moved across to his other nipple, licking, sucking and then softly biting it. The second my teeth nipped, he let out an involuntary hiss, his hips bucking towards me. I looked up at him from under my lashes, locking eyes with his. His gaze was dark and carnal. Chocolate brown pools of want. But in their depths, I could see his unspoken question. Was I sure that this was what I wanted?

I shimmied up the bed, bringing my lips to his. My hands on either side of his face holding him to me, our kisses were soft and gentle, but I could tell he was holding himself back, giving me the opportunity to pull away if I wanted to. I growled in frustration. I didn't want to pull away; I wanted _more_. And I was desperate for him to be the one to give it to me!

Climbing on top of him, I rolled him onto his back, straddling him. It was a position we'd been in hundreds of times in training, but today I was able to add a new move to our repertoire – slowly grinding myself back and forth on his burgeoning member, only the thinnest layers of cotton separating us. His hands were fisted in the bedclothes, stopping himself from taking things any further. I could feel his manhood getting harder beneath me, my own folds moistening in eager anticipation, yet _still_ he wouldn't touch me. I was frustrated and getting angry. This holding back _bullshit_ was meant to be over! I was his, and he was mine, and I wanted to make good on our partnership. For us to give ourselves to one another in the most primal of ways.

Deciding to up the ante, I kept flexing my hips, groaning every time the tip of his cock was poised directly under the center of my silken folds. I looked into his eyes, giving him a silent challenge, but before he could respond, I reached each hand across my ribcage, pulling my crop top bra above my head and throwing it aside. I saw his eyes dip to my full, plump breasts as they came within view, then without warning, I was on my back, my Russian God looming above me, his hips between my thighs.

"Fuck Roza," he moaned, his accent so much thicker than usual, "You can't tease me like that."

"I'm not teasing," I explained breathlessly. "I'm sick of waiting Comrade. I need you to make me yours."

A string of Russian escaped his lips, and then he buried his face between my breasts. Supporting himself on one elbow, his other hand was playing with one of my breasts, lightly circling the areola then rolling the nipple between his calloused fingers. The roughness of his fingers against the silk of my skin was arousing, as was the stubble on his masculine jawline where it chafed lightly like fine-grit sandpaper. His thoughts mirroring mine, he groaned, "You're so _soft!"_ as he rubbed his face wantonly across my breasts, stopping only to pull a nipple into his mouth, eagerly sucking and nipping at it before relinquishing it to pay similar attention to its twin.

My fingers were in his hair, roughly pulling his hair tie out to free his dark strands. With his hair out and hanging around his face, he looked so much younger. Much more like his twenty-four years. I ran my nails across his scalp, smiling when I felt him shudder, his lips pausing in their sensual assault.

"You can't imagine how many times I've tried to stop myself fantasizing about doing this," he admitted guiltily. "Ever since that night…"

"I know," I whispered back, my voice husky with desire. "Me too, Comrade."

Moving back up my body, his lips caught mine, sucking on my bottom lip before his tongue slipped inside my mouth, stroking eagerly against mine. I whimpered softly against his lips, loving this more intense kissing. Responding by kissing me even harder, his hips were rocking against mine, mimicking the thrusts I was so eager to feel in earnest.

Resting more of his weight upon me as our mouths were engaged in sensual parrying, I was running my nails over the valleys and plains of his back. Smooth and hairless, one hand continued traversing down this delicious landscape until I found a small patch of hair on his lower back, just above the waistband of his boxers. Tracing one finger in circular motions in this unexpected discovery, my other hand had traveled in the opposite direction, stroking the Promise mark on the back of his neck before burying my fingers in his hair.

His growls of approval let me know I was doing _something_ right, as did the increasing tempo and force of the pistoning of his manhood against my core. My boyleg panties were already sodden in the crotch, my body preparing itself for his loving invasion. I slipped my hand under the waistband of his boxers, running my hand across the skin of his ass, loving the feeling of it tensing each time he ground himself against me.

"I want to touch you," I growled, the words out of my lips before I'd realized I'd uttered them. He pulled his lips from mine, giving me a loaded look. "Take your boxers off," I ordered in what ended up sounding more like a plea. He pulled himself off me, kneeling between my legs. Grasping his boxers on either side of his hips he pulled down, allowing his turgid member to spring free.

My mouth fell open as I took in his glory. Despite all the rumors and conjecture, it was actually the first time Rose Hathaway had ever seen a man's penis in real life. I'd copped the odd look at Christian's, thanks to the bond - not that I in _any_ way had wanted to see that - but this was wholly new to me, and unbelievably arousing. Dimitri was looking at me apprehensively. I wanted to feel him, but I was a little shy. So instead I gave him another instruction.

"Comrade? Take my panties off."

Resting on his heels between my ankles, he grasped the cotton on either side of my hips easing my panties slowly downwards. Lifting my hips to aid him, I saw him take in the state of my underwear and the arousal evident on my inner thighs.

"So excited, Roza," he commented with a knowing smile. Slipping my underwear over one foot and then the other he tossed them aside, looking at me with such love and desire as he moved back up the bed and lay on his side next to me.

I'm not sure where I got the courage, but I reached towards him grasping his long thick shaft, marveling at the velvet skin encasing the hardness of his erection. I wrapped my fingers around his girth, stroking up and down while watching carefully to see his reaction. His eyelids fluttered his long dark eyelashes against his cheeks as his eyes rolled back, his mouth forming into a round o.

"Yes!" he rasped joyously.

I was so proud to see how my touch affected him. The power I had to make him feel such pleasure. Yet I was uncertain what to do next; how to progress things and add to his enjoyment.

"Teach me," I whispered, uncertainty in my voice.

His eyes sprang open as comprehension dawned on his face.

"Oh Roza," he murmured studying me in surprise. "Is this new to you?"

I nodded apologetically.

"Have you ever touched a man before?" he asked, looking down where my hand was stroking his member.

I shook my head, feeling foolish and suddenly very unsure of myself.

"You're doing it perfectly," he assured me, sensing my uncertainty. "That feels very hot, milaya." He pulled closer to me, grasping me in his embrace. His voice was tender and loving when he asked, "Roza, has anyone touched _you_ before? Has anyone made you cum?"

I blushed as red as the sports bra I'd recently removed, shaking my head. I was too embarrassed to even look at him.

"Don't be shy," he said adoringly, leaning forward to kiss my neck and face. "I want to make you feel so good," he crooned. "Let me?" My nod was tiny, but he caught it. "Alright – enough of that, for now," he said his voice thick with desire, pulling my hand away from his manhood. "Otherwise you're going to get me too excited, and I have things I want to do to you first."

My heart faltered, wondering about these things he had in mind. He pushed me gently back onto my back and then he was on top of me, kissing me passionately until I was mewling inarticulately. His lips continued down the column of my neck, his mouth open, lips teeth and tongue licking, nipping and sucking on my fevered skin. He lingered at the point of my neck where my pulse throbbed under the surface, lapping at it with his tongue. It wasn't the same high I'd get when Lissa used to feed from me - instead, it caused electric currents to run down my body to my breasts and the apex of my thighs. I could feel myself getting wetter, my nether regions throbbing with need.

"Comrade…" I whimpered, managing to stammer the word out through the riot of sensations bombarding my body and mind.

"Patience, milaya," he said, and I could feel the curve of his lips as he smiled against my neck. "I _promise_ you it will be worth it."

His kisses continued downwards, stopping again at my breasts, mocking me once again with his oral attentions. By now I'd all but lost the ability to articulate my thoughts – my only utterances being pleading little moans and sighs as I responded to the euphoria he was giving me. His lips were warm against my skin, yet it almost felt that they burned as he made his way further south, kissing my abs and pausing to lick inside my navel causing me to buck my hips against him.

I could hear his self-satisfied chuckle as he moved himself further down the bed, pulling the quilt with him. I whimpered a little as the cold air hit my skin, shivering unconsciously. He stood up, lifting the quilt back over me covering me completely before pushing its southernmost end up, exposing my legs all the way to the juncture of my thighs. He settled in between my legs, running his hands along my legs to warm them.

"I'm going to kiss you here, milaya," he whispered, lowering his head between my legs. I could feel his warm breath on my sensitive skin and then his silken tongue was on me, exploring my slit and finding the sensitive bundle of nerves within my folds.

My ecstatic moan must have told him all he needed to know. I hadn't understood it was _possible_ to feel this turned on! He had his forearm across my hips, holding me in place as he licked my most intimate places, focussing on my swollen nub. I was crying out incoherently, unable to stop myself voicing my felicity. His dominant hand was stroking my inner thigh, creeping closer to where his tongue was bringing me such elation. His fingertips entered my folds, lightly stroking beneath where his mouth was busy pleasuring me. Taunting me just that little bit more, Dimitri lightly bit on my clit, simultaneously pushing a finger into my core.

We groaned synchronously, my hands slipping down to his head, fisting into his hair as my own head thrashed from side to side. I could feel my wetness on his fingers as he introduced a second digit, sliding them in and out of my teeming channel.

"That feels so good," I gasped, reveling in the new sensations he was bringing me.

"You wait till you feel this," he murmured, his voice muffled from where his face was buried in my crotch. He was doing something with his fingers, and suddenly I felt like I needed to pee.

"Comrade! I feel like I need to go to the toilet!" I hissed in horror.

"Just relax, it will pass," he promised. And he was right – about thirty seconds later what he was doing felt _amazing!_ He chuckled as he heard my cries become more and more enthusiastic.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to cum," I moaned feeling everything start to tense. My nipples were tight buds, and I could feel an almost goose-bump sort of feeling spreading across their taut skin. Without knowing why, I was tensing my legs and butt, raising my hips slightly towards Dimitri's tongue. "Please! I want you inside me," I begged.

He pulled himself away from me, ripping the covers from me, but replacing them with a more pleasing substitute – himself! Lying on top of me, slightly to one side he had his manhood in his hand lining himself up with my core giving me an amatory look. Then with one fluid movement, his eyes never leaving mine, he slid into me.

Oh _hell_ , that hurt! He was pushing further, stretching me painfully when I felt a sudden sting, something give, and he slid in much deeper. The pain was now mostly gone, replaced by a very full feeling that was somehow intensely gratifying.

"Are you ok?" Dimitri asked, seeing my momentary flinch. I nodded breathing heavily through my mouth, my eyes wide with surprise. He leaned down, bringing his lips to mine before he started rocking his hips, gently slipping his throbbing shaft back and forth within the tight confines of my core. The more he moved, the better it felt, and I found myself with one hand on his ass, pushing down to encourage him. Feeling my unspoken cue, Dimitri started pistoning with more force, pulling almost all the way out of me before plunging back within. With every push I could feel him going deeper, my most sacred place opening to give him greater admittance.

I could feel everything starting to tighten again, the momentary shock of his penetration almost forgotten. Lying on top of me, my Russian God had his face resting beside mine, kissing my neck and murmuring words of love and passion. My pants of jubilation were getting louder and more frenzied, and he pulled himself up onto his forearms so he could look at me as he jackhammered between my willing thighs. And then, just when I thought I couldn't wait another moment it _happened_. Calling out his name at the top of my voice, I splintered beneath him, the walls of my cunt grasping at his cock, clamping down hard as he continued his relentless barrage. I was gasping for breath as endorphins flooded my bloodstream, flushing my skin and bringing wave upon wave of heavenly release. Looking up at him in wide-eyed wonder, I smiled idyllically, finally understanding why people wanted to be doing this as in _all the freaking time!_

My Russian God blessed me with an angelic smile, kissing me and speeding up, racing towards his own finish. I was still completely blissed out as I felt him tense and then slump on top of me, moaning my name as his body was wracked with spasms, his cock spurting within me as he released his cum in the depths of my channel.

His weight on me was sublime, pushing me back into the mattress. I felt completely his as I ran my hands over his sweaty back, hearing his little noises of pleasure as his own orgasm abated. Finally pulling himself up a little he looked at me, a very tender expression on his face.

"Are you ok, milaya? You're not hurting?"

"That was…" I giggled, I didn't even know the right word to use! "That was _awesome!"_ I was so euphoric I couldn't wipe the smile off my face or stop the little noises of girlish excitement I was making. I just felt so wonderfully happy and in love!

"You're all giggly!" he laughed, looking at me with love and amusement. Pulling out of me, I winced slightly as he got up. I wondered where he was going, but he was back in a moment, my camera in his hand. "Come here," he said still grinning. "I want a photo of this!"

We laid back side by side on the bed, the quilt pulled up to cover my breasts and also draped across his hips to ensure his modesty. One of his arms was stretched out, and I was curled within it, my head resting on his chest notched under his chin. He held the camera up, and the two of us looked at the lens smiling blissfully. The flash went off, making me giggle more. He took more pictures as I leaned up to kiss him, my hand stroking the side of his face. And then the camera was forgotten as he pulled me to him and we shared our words of love.


	4. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 4

After our lovemaking we'd cuddled for ages, kissing and confessing how much we cared for one another. I honestly think we would have stayed in bed all day had we both not been super hungry. We'd skipped dinner, and sexercise works up quite an appetite I'd discovered, so I allowed Dimitri to convince me to get up, shower and get dressed.

I'd wandered to the bathroom, embarrassed to notice faint smears of blood on my inner thighs as I saw myself in the mirror.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. Are you in much pain?" Dimitri asked quietly, seeing the direction of my gaze. He looked remorseful as he slipped his arms around me from behind.

"Not really," I said truthfully. "And it was going to hurt no matter who it was with. If it helps, I've never felt _anything_ as wonderful as how you made me feel just after that!"

"It helps," he said softly, using his huge hands on my waist to spin me around to face him. "You are so beautiful, and I can't believe my dreams came true. I love you, milaya."

"Oh Comrade, I love you, too," I said, a huge smile lighting up my face.

Grabbing his hand, I pulled him into the shower cubicle with me. It wasn't huge, and he was, but we managed it. It was strangely intimate, showering together. Dimitri grabbed a washcloth and squirting some bath gel from the miniature container he started washing me down. Starting with my shoulders and back, he moved down to my bottom and then the backs of my legs before spinning me to wash my neck, breasts, torso, and stomach. "You're so beautiful, milaya," he repeated reverently. "You could have _any_ man you wanted; I still can't believe you gave yourself to me."

"I can't imagine wanting that with _anyone_ but you," I replied shyly. "Being with you just feels so natural. You make me feel so safe and loved."

Dimitri smiled, rinsing the washcloth clear of suds before very gently cleaning my thighs and the outside of my vulva. Once he was done, he kissed me lightly on my nose.

"You should pee, Roza."

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows giving him a _what the fuck_ look.

He chuckled. "It's not a kinky thing, milaya. The friction of lovemaking, particularly the first few times, can introduce bacteria into your urinary tract and give you an infection. If you pee every time after having sex it helps."

"Ok, well I'm not doing that with you in here!"

He laughed some more. "That wasn't what I was suggesting."

"Ok," I said embarrassed. I had _no_ idea about this sort of stuff.

I took the washcloth from his hands, applying more gel and started to wash him. I repeated his motions, doing his shoulders, back then legs, turning him to continue on his neck, chest, abs then starting on his crotch.

"I'd better take over, milaya," he said, taking the washcloth from my hands, "otherwise we might get dirty again!"

Getting dirty again sounded good to me, but I was conscious Dimitri needed to get to the bank and also that I was starving. After we'd stepped out and dried ourselves, I tried to decide what to wear. I was pulling things out of my duffel bag spilling everything across the bed, including my more sexy underwear.

"Wear this," he said gruffly, plucking a deep red lace bra from amongst the pile. I smiled at his sheepish expression. He was so gorgeous I could just kiss him a thousand times. I was smiling at how cute he was when suddenly I remembered that time was ticking for him. For us. I turned my back to him to put on the bra, trying to hide the tears welling in my eyes. But he knew.

"No crying, milaya. Just joy today, ok? We're finally together, focus on that."

"Yep," I said, forcing a cheery tone into my voice. "Since you wanted me to wear it I think you should do it up for me," I added, doing my best to sound saucy.

I rolled my head back in pleasure as his huge hands caressed my ribcage and breasts before he fastened my bra. His breath was on my neck as he pushed my hair to one side, dropping soft kisses on my nape.

"Come on milaya. Let's go eat!"

It was snowing lightly outside, so I grabbed my camera and jacket, following him out the door to the SUV.

"So do I get to drive this weekend?" I asked playfully.

"Nope," Dimitri said giving me an amused smile. "Alberta told us to make sure she didn't regret allowing us the weekend together, remember?!"

"You have _no_ faith in me, Comrade," I replied. "I'm a _great_ driver!"

"I'm sure you are, milaya," he soothed, although the tug at his lips suggested he might have thought otherwise. "But I'm still going to drive. Consider it me being chivalrous."

" _Seriously_ Comrade?!"

"Yep," he laughed, steering us through the town until he pulled up at the branch of a multinational bank. He stepped out of the car and came around to open my door. "See? Chivalrous," he joked, leaning forward kissing me. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me against him continuing the kiss as we stood on the sidewalk in the middle of town. I couldn't believe we were being so openly affectionate and demonstrative in public, although of course so far from the academy, and in broad daylight, the chances of us being observed were minimal.

Inside the bank, Dimitri asked to speak to Jodie, and I was surprised to see a young Dhampir woman come out from behind the counter to shake hands with Dimitri.

"Jodie this is my girlfriend Rose," he introduced me, and she shook my hand, too. "I'm happy for us to discuss everything openly in front of her."

Seeing my confused expression, Jodie smiled.

"Rose – this bank is Moroi owned but exists mostly in the human world. There aren't Dhampir or Moroi at every branch, but close to large settlements or Academies, there's at least one of us on staff. We look after the financial concerns of Moroi and Dhampir clients as well as humans," she explained, showing us through to a small glass-fronted meeting room facing out onto the bank. "Now Guardian Belikov, I have your account details here, how can I help you today?"

Grasping my hand firmly and placing it on the table between us, Dimitri explained he'd been reallocated on a dangerous mission, and there was a very good chance he wouldn't be returning. He said it matter of factly, but I could see Jodie's eyes drop to our hands, noting the way his thumb was stroking the back of mine soothingly. She looked up to me, seeing me blinking back tears and gave me a look of sympathy.

"I'm leaving on Tuesday, after which time I will not be accessing my accounts. Rose and I are here to enjoy ourselves this weekend, so I'll probably be using my credit card, so I'd like to organize to have the balance zeroed from my savings account next Thursday, and then the card canceled."

Jodie nodded, jotting notes on a spiral bound notepad.

"I also need to add my mother to my savings account as an equal signatory. She's to have full authority over the account. I want her to be able to access the money freely and for her to be able to close the account if that becomes necessary." Dimitri handed her a piece of paper with some details on it.

"I can organize that," Jodie said, "But I caution you to be sure. If you were to return from your mission, you could find yourself left with nothing."

Dimitri nodded. "I understand what you're saying, but I trust my mother absolutely. Besides, if I return from the mission I'll have my life, and that's worth more to me than the contents of my savings account!" He was trying to be jovial, yet I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Can I suggest with the credit card we clear it and then put a stop on it? That way should you return from your mission, or find yourself in need of funds while you're away, it's just a matter of presenting to any one of our branches or affiliates worldwide, giving a password and fingerprint, and you'll be able to restart the card and access your account immediately. It means you wouldn't be stranded without funds, and no one other than you could restart the credit card," Jodie suggested.

Dimitri shrugged and nodded. I could see he thought it made no difference.

"That makes sense, Comrade. That way it's closed unless you need it. It would make things easier if you come back, and if not… well, it's already stopped," I said, trying not to dwell on the fact he would probably never need to access his accounts again.

"Sure. Do that then," Dimitri said, clearly saying it just to appease me. "Other than that can I withdraw fifteen hundred dollars now?"

"Woah! That's a _lot_ of money Comrade! Where are you taking me for lunch, the most expensive restaurant in town?!" I teased.

"If you want, milaya," he smiled lovingly, leaning over to kiss me.

Jodie smiled at the two of us, standing up. "If you just come to the teller window I can complete your transaction there."

We stood and followed her from the room, Dimitri standing in front of the plexiglass screen, signing where required, me standing awkwardly to one side the way you do when it's not your account being discussed. He pulled out his wallet, stuffing a wad of bills in there, and then it was time to go.

"Thank you Guardian Belikov," Jodie said, "and the very best of luck with your mission. I hope to see you in here again, soon."

Dimitri nodded, then he took my hand and led me out of the bank. It was cold but oddly still, snowflakes falling gently from the sky.

"So, milaya, what do you want for lunch? Lady's choice!"

We were walking down the sidewalk towards a group of restaurants a bit further down the block. He stopped and sniffed as we were approaching a pizza and pasta joint. "That smells good," he said, looking at me as the smell of garlic and cooking pizza wafted through the frigid air.

"Aww yeah! Let's go there!" I said enthusiastically. It wasn't a fancy or expensive restaurant, but it looked warm and comfortable, and my stomach grumbled.

Stepping inside, we were shown to a booth. We sat opposite one another, Dimitri grasping both my hands in his. "I'm going to have pasta and then maybe we could share a pizza?"

"Sounds perfect," I said, quickly looking at the menu and deciding on linguine with Italian sausage and peppers. Dimitri chose veal ravioli in a white wine mushroom sauce, and we ordered a family sized pepperoni pizza to share. The waitress was older and looked kindly at the two of us.

"Can you take a couple of photos of us?" I asked her shyly, handing her my camera when she smiled and nodded. Dimitri leaned forward and kissed me across the table, and for the second shot the two of us held hands and looked at the camera smiling.

"Let's get those developed before I leave," Dimitri said. "I want some photos of you to take with me."

I gulped, willing the tears back from my eyes. "Sure," I said, smiling at him lovingly. "So what did you want to do after this? Shopping? A movie? Both?"

"Up to you, milaya. I'm free until 9 pm tonight."

"What's happens then?" I teased. "Do you turn into a pumpkin?!"

"No. I've arranged to skype my family for my birthday."

I almost choked. "Your _birthday!?_ When is it?" I demanded.

"Today," he said softly.

" _What_? Comrade?! Why didn't you _tell_ me? I didn't get you anything!" I moaned, horrified it was his special day, and I hadn't even known it.

"I disagree, I think you gave me something _very_ special," he said with a loving look in his eyes.

"That wasn't for your _birthday_!" I hissed.

"Why not?" he replied. "There's nothing you could give me that I want more than your love."

"You've had that for a while now, Comrade," I whispered.

"I'd hoped so," he murmured, "Sometimes I thought I saw it in your eyes…" He lifted my hand from where he was holding it on the tabletop, bringing my fingertips to his lips to kiss.

We finished our pastas and half of the pizza, boxing up the leftovers to take back to the motel with us. Dimitri had grabbed my camera taking photos of me eating pizza, much to my embarrassment, but he'd seemed to enjoy it.

"I love watching you eat, it's very satisfying!" he'd chuckled. "Come on milaya. Let's go see what's on at the movies!" he'd said once we were done.

We walked back to the car and drove to the multiplex at the mall. We stood there for ages trying to decide, neither of us knowing much about the latest releases. "What about 'Me Before You'" Dimitri suggested. "That looks romantic?"

"Isn't that the one where the guy dies at the end?" I asked incredulously, eyebrows raised.

"Oh yeah," Dimitri said, the corner of his mouth twitching. And before I knew it we were both laughing manically. Dimitri pulled me to him, wrapping the edges of his duster around me as we laughed together in the foyer of the cinema. It really was a matter of having to laugh otherwise I'd cry.

We'd ended up choosing a romantic comedy. Lightweight and not requiring too much thought. After we sat in our seats, I took a few selfies of the two of us together. Dimitri had bought an absolute mountain of popcorn and soda for each of us.

"I love this stuff," he admitted about the popcorn while we were watching the trailers before the feature started. "Ivan used to take his dates to the cinema quite a bit. _Not_ the most relaxing place for a Guardian," he chuckled, referring to the darkness hence the risk of Strigoi, "so I never got to see the film. I'd sit the row behind him, guarding and eating popcorn, watching him get hot and heavy with whichever girl he was with."

"That sounds pretty dismal," I commented.

"Yeah, I suppose so," he laughed with his rich, deep chuckle. "At least I got to have popcorn!"

"How would you like to be the one getting hot and heavy this time?" I whispered suggestively into his ear, pulling up the armrest between us and moving across to sit closer to him.

"Sounds good, milaya," he said with a huge grin, pulling me back against him as the lights dimmed and the movie started. We watched for a while, feeding one another popcorn. After a while I got bored with the film, so started kissing my man. Little kisses turned into bigger ones, and soon we were doing some serious making out, the movie _entirely_ forgotten.

His huge hands were holding me against him, our mouths joined as we French kissed. I pulled his duster across his crotch, concealing where I was rubbing my hand across the hardness in his pants. Ripping his mouth from mine he growled softly into my ear, "I want to make love with you again!"

"Me too, Comrade," I moaned back. "Let's go back to the motel after this."

I pulled myself from him, sitting demurely to give us both a chance to calm down. The movie finally ended, and we walked hand in hand through the mall, heading back to the car.

"So what did you want to do for your birthday? We could go out for dinner if you want? Or we could stay in just the two of us at the motel?"

" _Definitely_ stay in," he said with a sexy look at me. "I thought we could get some vodka and takeout?"

"Then… we'll also need a birthday cake!" I said, pulling him into the Cheesecake Factory store that we'd been about to pass, grinning at him in excitement. "What flavor do you want? We can get a whole cake, or I can get slices of all different ones?"

"Whatever you want milaya," he chuckled.

"Nope. Your birthday, you have to choose! It's not every day you turn a quarter of a century!"

Dimitri moved up to the display case looking at the numerous offerings. "What about half and half?" he suggested. "We could have half chocolate toffee peanut brittle cake, and the other half strawberry cheesecake?"

"Perfect!" I said, relaying the order to the attendant. She cut and boxed the two cakes, staring at my man with admiration the entire time. Yeah. I get it. He really does look hot – especially when he's smiling and relaxed like he is right now. I picked up three packs of candles for the cake, determined to do this right. At the counter, Dimitri went to pull out his wallet, but I shot him down with one look. "Please Comrade? I won't be able to get you anything else – let me get this for you?"

He nodded. "But my treat for the rest of the weekend," he stipulated.

"Fine," I said, giving him a long tender kiss, enjoying the sour expression on the attendant's face when we reluctantly pulled away from one another.

We stopped again for vodka on the way to the car. Dimitri explained it wasn't the same as the vodka they had in Russia, but that it would do. "Are you going to let me drink, Comrade?" I asked, somehow a little surprised.

"Sure why not? I know there's alcohol at the on-campus parties. I'd much rather you drink when you're safe with me at the motel than surrounded by a bunch of horny Royal Moroi guys looking for any excuse to touch you. Besides, I'm not your mentor anymore."

No, he wasn't. He'd introduced me at the bank as his girlfriend, and my heart had soared.

"So if you're not my mentor what are you?" I asked in a teasing voice, not giving any indication how deeply my feelings were invested in his answer.

"Your boyfriend, if you'll have me. Or do you prefer partner? Lover?"

"They all sound pretty good," I admitted, kissing him tenderly. "And _yes_ I'll have you!"

We were back at the car, and within minutes we'd arrived back the motel. It was almost 6 pm, so we had three hours before he was due to talk with his family. He gathered the leftover pizza, cake, and vodka.

"Let's go inside, Roza," he said, his accent thickening by the second. "I want to kiss every inch of your body."


	5. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 5

"You want me to _meet_ them?" I gasped, looking at Dimitri as though he'd grown a second head.

"Very much so," he said hopefully. " _Please?_ For my birthday?"

We were lying in bed cuddling after making love again. Twice. Every time was better than the time before it. But now it was approaching 9 pm, which was when Dimitri was due to skype his family.

"Dimitri? They won't know me from a bar of soap. It's your birthday. They're going to want to spend the time talking with you not wasting time with me."

"Milaya _nothing_ will make them happier than knowing I've found love, especially with everything else going on. I know it will make Mama feel better to know I've found someone to give my heart to. Someone who cares for me, too. They're going to want to meet you, and I want you to meet them. They're my family, and you're the woman I've fallen in love with. Please let me show you off to them?"

He looked so sweet and genuine I couldn't refuse him.

"Fine. But let me put some clothes on first. I'm not skyping your family wrapped only in the quilt! And you can put some clothes on, too, Comrade!"

"I don't know – it will save them asking if we're having sex…" he teased, a wicked look in his eyes.

"They're not going to ask about _that_ are they?" I groaned.

"No," he laughed. "At least not in English…"

Regretting I'd agreed to this, I threw on my bra, a pretty top and the jeans I'd been wearing earlier. We decided he'd tell them about me first and then introduce me. I thought they might like to sing happy birthday to him, so I put the cake on the little table and put in twenty-five candles, finding Dimitri's zippo in his duster pocket ready to light them when the time came.

Checking I was ready, he sat on the sofa, fiddling with the phone. When it connected, I could hear a gaggle of female voices, all talking in Russian. Dimitri laughed, sounding happy and at ease. He listened for a while, and then he started talking in Russian. I'd catch the odd English word here and there, but most of it was a complete mystery to me.

After a while, I heard 'Missoula' and the name of the bank we'd visited today and then I could hear an older female's voice. Maybe his mother's? He answered a few questions, and then he held up his hand and was talking. After a few seconds, I heard 'Rose Hathaway' and then a few seconds later 'Princess Dragomir.' There were questions and then he had a loving look and said 'Roza.' There were quite a few more questions, most of them excited and happy sounding, although one of the voices sounded annoyed. And then Dimitri said, "She's here now for you to meet!"

He held out his hand to me, and I walked around to sit beside him on the sofa. He had his phone resting against a book on the table, and I could see five small faces on the tiny screen but not in any great detail. Dimitri lifted his arm, and I cuddled in beneath it, tucking my feet up underneath me and resting against the side of his chest.

"Hello, Rose," the older woman's voice said, "I'm Olena, Dimka's mother, this is Yeva his Grandmother, Karolina, Sonya and Viktoria his sisters. It's nice to meet you." She had the same accent as Dimitri but much thicker.

I was feeling very shy, so I smiled and said it was nice to meet them.

"So are you Dimka's girlfriend?" one of the younger women asked.

"Yeah, I am. It's all very new, though," I said softly "although we've been falling for a while now…"

"So you waited until he was going away to declare your love for him?" another of the girls asked. "Nice." It was the voice that had sounded pissed off earlier, and the sarcasm was unmistakable.

"Sonya..."Dimitri was about to say something biting when I stopped him by stroking his chest and giving him a look.

"Actually, it was the other way around. We've both known for a while the other cared, but we'd _finally_ told one another half an hour before Dimitri got the news," I said with a bitter laugh. "There are a lot of reasons why us loving each other is not ideal – but none of it matters now. So we're here together making the most of the time we have."

Through the video link, we heard a little sob.

"Don't cry Karo, it's ok," Dimitri said, looking at his older sister. "We've had a _wonderful_ day!"

"Yeah! We watched the sunrise together, which was lovely, and we went to lunch and then the movies. And then," I said, trying to keep my voice upbeat, "the birthday boy chose himself a cake! Are you all ready to sing happy birthday to him?"

Dimitri laughed and was saying something in Russian as I jumped up and started lighting the candles on his half-and-half cake. When they were lit, he picked up his phone and carried it over to the table. He sat in front of the cake, with the phone to one side filming him and it, and I pulled the other chair around to sit beside him, so we were both in shot. We all sang happy birthday and I demanded he make a wish before he blew out the candles.

"Now you have to pull his ears!" one of the girls said.

"Pull his ears?"

"Yes – one tug for every year," Dimitri laughed. I stood up and straddled his lap, putting a hand on either side of his head, pulling his ears as instructed and laughing the whole time.

"Did I do that right?" I checked.

"Perfectly, milaya," he confirmed, pulling me to him hard for a soft lingering kiss. I blushed a little as I could hear happy sighs and cheers from his family.

Sitting back next to him, his grandmother spoke for the first time. "The night before your birthday, what did you dream Dimka?"

Unlike the rest of the talk, which was cheerful albeit perhaps forced, Yeva sounded quite tense. Dimitri looked at her saying something with his eyes. He sighed. "I dreamt of Roza, Babushka. I dreamt of Roza and I living a long and happy life together. It's the same thing I dream about every night…"

There was an awkward pause. I'm not sure why, but the question seemed significant. "That is good then," was all she said, and then the conversation continued. Everyone seemed determined to keep things upbeat. Olena recounted funny stories about Dimitri from his childhood, his oldest sister Karolina was teasing him about waiting until he was twenty-five to finally introduce a girl to the family and Viktoria was commenting how romantic it was that Dimitri and I had fallen in love during our training sessions.

"So how old are you, Rose?" Sonya asked. And for the second time, Dimitri tensed.

"Seventeen," I answered a smile on my face, refusing to be upset by the age difference.

"So there are eight years between you?" she was quick to point out.

"Seven years, three months," Dimitri said calmly. "Roza is eighteen in March."

"That's quite an age difference," Sonya replied.

"The heart wants what the heart wants," Yeva said sagely. "Age doesn't matter."

We chatted for another twenty minutes or so, and then it felt like time to sign off. Dimitri slipped back into speaking Russian as he was saying what were obviously his farewells to his family. I could see his mother starting to weep, and his eldest sister bury her face into the youngest sister's shoulder.

"Thank you, Rose. For giving him your love. It helps us to know he's not alone through this," his mother said in a shaky voice. "Especially on his birthday."

I shrugged. "Loving him was never a choice, Olena. But he's so very easy to love," I said with a sad smile, taking one of Dimitri's massive hands between the two of mine.

She smiled in understanding. "Dimka will give you our number. Please keep in touch. If you hear anything…" She didn't have to finish. We both knew what she was asking.

"Yes, of course."

"Keep your faith, Rose," Yeva counseled before slipping into Russian to say something to Dimitri. And then with final farewells, Dimitri rang off.

We sat in silence for a little while, me holding his hand in mine.

"Thank you. That was hard," he said. "It really helped to have you there."

"Will you speak to them again before you leave?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't want to drag it out. I want their last memories to be of me celebrating and sharing the news that I've fallen in love. I want it to be as happy as it can be."

I swallowed the bowling ball welling up in my throat and looked around to try and change the subject. "Well, it's past 10 pm, and I believe you wanted to get very drunk tonight, Comrade? How does leftover pizza, birthday cake, vodka and me sound?"

"That sounds like every man's birthday fantasy come true," he laughed softly.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling a good deal worse than horrible. Finally managing to extricate myself from Dimitri's grasp, I walked into the bathroom, shuddering at the sight of my reflection in the mirror. My hair looked as though a bird had slept in it, my skin looked creased and sallow, and there was a small yet undeniable love bite on my left breast. I could vaguely recall Dimitri giving it to me the night before.

After relieving myself I looked around the room, seeing the accumulated detritus from our night of drinking. Our clothes had been thrown in various directions, there were a couple of empty liquor bottles lying on the side table beside some shot glasses, along with plates with leftover birthday cake on them. And the room _reeked_ of stale alcohol.

I showered, lathering my hair, washing thoroughly and scrubbing my teeth for about ten minutes. I noted my downstairs was feeling tender. Probably overuse, I thought ruefully. Ditching sexy lace briefs in favor of super comfortable cotton boyleg panties, I put on some sweats and moved around the room, disposing of the rubbish and straightening up. I took the rubbish bags to the bins outside, relishing the crisp, clean air, then I boiled the kettle and made myself a coffee. Usually, I didn't drink it, but I could tell today was already an exception!

Dimitri was still sound asleep, cuddled up under the quilts on our bed. He'd been an entertaining drunk, and unusually loquacious. Quite the comedian, he'd drawn on years of silent observations of those around him to come out with insightful yet not unkind witticisms. He'd also been particularly loving, cuddling me and telling me how much he cared and how happy he was that we were together.

By some unspoken agreement, we'd avoided all talk of the future, instead telling each other more about our pasts. Dimitri had told me more about Ivan, including tales of the numerous scrapes Ivan had gotten into at school and then after they'd graduated.

"He was more than my charge, he was my brother," he'd explained. "We'd always assumed I'd be the first to die, so when it was him, I was completely unprepared for it. For a long time, I wished it had been me." And I got it. I really did, because that's the way I felt about Lissa.

Picking up my camera, I scrolled through the pictures while I drank my coffee. I could vaguely remember us taking some photos last night. Quite a few were blurry or black, so I deleted those, but there were some cute ones of Dimitri and I drinking vodka shots. The final one shocked me, but now I saw it, I could hazily recall Dimitri setting it up with the camera timer. He was sitting up in bed resting against the bed head, and I was straddling him, we were serving each other vodka shots, and even with our faces in profile, you could see the sexual tension between us. Of course, the fact we were _naked_ supported that impression!

We couldn't have posed the shot any better had we tried. Dimitri's arm around my waist and my outer thigh blocked any hint of our intimate areas, my arm holding the shot glass up to his mouth obscured my breasts, and my bottom was out of frame. It was funny because while the photo itself wasn't too naughty, there was _no_ doubt about what we'd been about to do together.

My thumb hovered over the delete button, but I decided against it. It was a record of a precious moment between us, and it's not like either of us would _ever_ show it to anyone! I fiddled with the camera, turning the flash off. With the blinds open I wouldn't need the extra light. Then I took a few photos of my man asleep in bed. He looked so handsome with his full soft lips in a small smile, stubble evident on his jaw. I loved seeing him like that. With him still deeply asleep, I made sure he was covered and opened the sliding door a few inches and the front window a similar amount to allow the room to air. It was really cold out and quite windy, so within a few minutes, I figured the worst of the alcohol smell must be gone.

Closing the windows again, and feeling very in love with the man sleeping in front of me, I carefully climbed back into bed, lifting his heavy arm and nestling myself in under it.

"Hmm, Roza. So beautiful," he murmured in his sleep. And looking at him as he slept, my tears erupted. All the fear, the pain, and the love I felt for him just overflowed. Holding him as though I would never be able to let go I wept silently, my heaving shoulders the only testament to my distress. Life was just so unfair. I finally got to have him only to have to give him up almost immediately. I'd been crying for half an hour when I finally got myself under control. It was only once the worst of it had passed that I became conscious of Dimitri's large hand rubbing circles on my back.

"Does that feel better, milaya?" he asked as my cries finally subsided.

"Yes," I said softly. I wished he hadn't witnessed that. "I'm sorry, Comrade. I'm trying not to think of it, but it just kind of all got too much."

"I know. It's on my mind, too."

"Are you scared?"

"Yes," he whispered. "Not of dying. But I'm scared of being turned. More than _anything_ I don't want that. And I'm worried for those I'll leave behind. My family. You."

"You know I'll wait for you," I promised. "For as long as it takes."

"Yes, I do," he sighed. "And that scares me, too. I want a life of joy and happiness for you. I don't want you sitting around waiting for a man who's not coming home…"

" _Don't say that!"_ I shouted, pushing myself out of his arms and backing away from him. "Don't you _ever_ say that!" Hearing him suggest his death was a foregone conclusion made me beyond furious.

"Rose?" he said beseechingly, holding his hand out to me. "You have to accept there's a very good chance I won't be coming back."

"I _know_ that, Dimitri. It's all I can fucking think about, ok? But _you_ need to accept that there's still a tiny chance you _might_ be able to come back! Don't be so quick to give your life away before you're even dead! I need to know you'll fight with everything you've got to come back to me!"

"Oh Roza," he said with a little smile. "If there's the slightest chance of me coming home to you, rest assured I'll do whatever it takes. I _promise_ you." He lifted the quilt and gave me a 'please' look. I climbed back into bed beside him, sighing as he pulled me against him. We lay together, him rocking me back and forth gently.

It was almost 11 am when we could no longer ignore the call of our stomachs, so Dimitri got up, showered and dressed. He'd suggested we walk to a café half a block away for brunch, insisting a cooked breakfast was just the thing for a hangover. I didn't want to go to a café in sweats, so I changed into jeans and a sweater before rugging up with boots, a jacket, and scarf. Grabbing the camera, we left the motel walking through the courtyard and out to the road. It was only a couple of minutes walk, but I was still glad to reach the warmth of the café.

Dimitri ordered us both hot chocolates and full cooked breakfasts.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, I'm still not feeling 100% from the vodka."

"Trust me, I've had a _lot_ more hangovers than you," he smirked. "You'll feel better after breakfast. So what do you want to do this afternoon?"

"I have no idea. Any suggestions?"

"Well… one of the brochures in the room says the hot springs around here are worth checking out."

"What? In _this_ weather?!"

"Yeah. Apparently, they're really warm, and winter is the perfect time to visit. There're indoor and outdoor ones. The place I was thinking about you can book a private outdoor thermal mineral spa for two…"

"I didn't bring any bathers, Comrade."

"I don't think you need them, milaya. The whole point is you're meant to go in _naked…_ "

"Hmm. That does sound good," I said, thinking about cuddling up with my man in the warm water, watching the snow fall around us.

"So should I see if I can get us a booking?" Dimitri checked, pulling out his phone.

"Absolutely! Let's do it."


	6. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 6

The thermal spa was nothing short of _sensational_. We'd headed there after brunch, and it was _so much more_ than I'd expected. Dimitri had booked us a private outdoor pool, and I really hadn't been sure what it would entail, but it had been exquisite.

The pool itself was a natural outdoor thermal spring set in a little valley near the foot of a wooded mountain. The water sitting around 105 degrees, it was deliciously warm despite the frigid air. The pool was around ten by ten foot, half open to the air, the other half covered by an open fronted pergola. Inside the pavilion was a daybed covered with soft, warm quilts, two huge fluffy bathrobes hanging on a hook and a roaring open fireplace with a large supply of split logs. On a small table inside the pergola was a large jug of water and a platter of fruits, nuts, cheeses and cold meats. The area was surrounded by trees, was breathtakingly picturesque and conspicuously private. The attendant who transported us there from the carpark by four-wheel-drive made a point of explaining he'd not be back for four hours and the area was _very_ secluded, so we'd not be overlooked.

Dimitri and I had stripped off, relaxing in the warm water as snow fell and dissolved on the surface of the water around us. It was the singular most romantic experience of my life! Four hours of love, intimacy, and happiness, we'd bathed, made love, bathed again, loved, cuddled, talked and eaten in front of the fire on the daybed, bathed again and then got dressed. We were lying in one another's arms on the daybed when the four-wheel-drive arrived to collect us four hours later. And I didn't want to leave. I could honestly have spent the rest of my life happy in that place and locked in that moment.

We were quiet in the Academy SUV as Dimitri drove us back to the motel. Finally, my Russian God broke the companionable silence. "Are you up for dinner and dancing this evening? I'd like us to go somewhere really nice."

"Are you sure you trust me to behave myself somewhere nice?" I teased.

Dimitri laughed. "Ok, burger and fries it is then."

"No! I'll behave, I promise!" I quickly capitulated. I'd never been to a really nice restaurant, but I wanted to with him.

Back at the motel, Dimitri sat fiddling on his phone, checking out various sites until he found what he wanted. Then he stepped outside, making a call. I watched him through the curtains as he walked around in the carpark out the front of our room. It was still snowing lightly, and he looked beautiful standing amongst the snowflakes in his duster as they leisurely settled around him. I sat on the sofa as he walked back to the door, trying not to let on I'd been admiring him.

"Ok! We're all set. We've got a booking for 8 pm."

It was nearly 5 pm. "Well… that gives us three hours… How about you get undressed and lie on the bed?"

" _Again_ milaya?" he laughed with a twinkle in his eye. Since we'd become lovers, we'd been worshiping one another's bodies every chance we got. Maybe it's because we were used to working out together, but the idea of giving and taking pleasure from one another physically just seemed so natural.

"Maybe later," I giggled, "But right now I was thinking I might give you a massage?"

Obediently Dimitri stripped and lay on his stomach, and starting at his feet, I massaged him from bottom to top. I loved being able to touch him, discovering parts of his body I'd not yet explored, and hearing his sighs and moans of pleasure as I found little knots of tension he hadn't known were there.

"I could get used to this, you know…" he moaned. I was sitting on the bed beside him, running my fingernails through his hair and scratching his scalp lightly.

"I'm sure!" I said with a smile. "Time to turn over, Comrade!" Dutifully Dimitri rolled over, revealing an impressive erection. "I thought you were meant to be relaxing, not getting excited?"

"What did you think was going to happen with you running your hands all over my body?" Dimitri mock grumbled.

I held my forefinger up to his lips, gently silencing him, before running my finger down his chin, over his Adam's apple, and down his torso. I felt his abdominal muscles involuntarily tighten as I ran my finger across them, heading ever lower.

"Why don't you prop yourself up on some pillows?" I suggested huskily, thinking he'd probably want a good view once he knew what I was planning.

I stripped my top and bra off, standing to peel my jeans off, too. I left my panties on – mostly to signal that this next act was all about him and not necessarily a prelude to another round of lovemaking. Once he was leaning back against the pillows and bedhead, I carefully spread his legs kneeling between them. And then I continued to run a finger down his body, finally leading it up along the length of his shaft, gently over the tip and back down the underside.

I heard his sharp hiss of breath and felt his hard member twitch under my fleeting touch. "Roza…?"

"Patience, Comrade," I taunted, repeating his own words back at him, "I promise you this will be worth it!"

At least I hoped it would be. I'd not done this before, but thankfully Lissa was a devotee of tacky women's magazines, and so I'd read more than one article about the art of fellatio. Trying to remember their suggestions, I settled in between my man's legs, starting by playing with the area surrounding his groin, but never actually touching his penis. I kept my eyes on him, enjoying the way he'd flip between looking at me and then down to where I was toying with him. Seeing his gorgeous chocolate brown orbs reveal he was getting more and more turned on, I decided to start my job in earnest.

Lying comfortably in the space between his legs, I made a show of licking my lips, and then I lowered my face to his crotch, running my flat tongue up the underside of his shaft, taking my time to make my way along his engorged length towards the head. Once there, I used the very tip of my tongue to tease the opening before slowly lowering my mouth over the head of his cock. I had to stop myself giggling at the look on Dimitri's face. His eyelids were fluttering, and he looked as though he was about to cum on the spot!

Smiling up at him as well as I could with his dick in my mouth, I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft and then I started to move it up and down in sync with my mouth. The smile on his face said it all. I wasn't sure how hard to grasp his shaft, so I experimented with different pressures. I was holding it quite firmly within my fist when he gasped, "Yeah that's it, baby! Just like that!" one of his hands dropping to stroke my shoulder as I continued to pump my hand and mouth up and down.

I was also experimenting with different oral techniques. At first, I tried just sucking, but then I remembered something I'd read about the area where the head met shaft being sensitive, so I tried tickling that area with my tongue and boy did _that_ get a reaction! I thought Dimitri's eyes were going to bug out of his head!

My mouth was getting a little sore, so I changed it up a bit, still using my hand but licking the top of his cock like it was a popsicle. Hmm. A Dimitri flavored popsicle. _Fuck_ that idea was hot!

Then I kissed up and down the sides of his shaft, pausing to lightly suckle on his testicles. I could feel one of his huge hands fingering my hair, and then I was back to the job at hand, taking him into my mouth again, moaning with satisfaction at the taste of his precum. Getting back into the rhythm of things, I kept a steady pace for a couple of minutes, adding the occasional involuntary moan as I saw how much he was enjoying what I was doing.

I was wondering how to bring him closer to the edge when I thought I'd try a technique I'd read about called the 'magic eight.' It involved stroking him, lightly sucking the head eight times, then continuing with seven light sucks followed by a deeper one, then six light sucks followed by two deeper ones. Combining the sucks with some groans, by the time I did three light sucks followed by five deep ones my Russian God was panting, grunting and gripping the sheets hard.

" _Fuck_ Roza," he was gasping, rocking his hips in time with my pumps.

By two light sucks, six deep ones he was right on the very edge and I increased the pressure of my grip on his shaft. One light suck followed by seven deep, and Dimitri's shaft was throbbing, and I knew he was seconds away now. And then I gave him eight long hard deep sucks, pumping my clasped fist up and down him, reaching my unoccupied hand out to gently pull on his sack and groaning as loudly as I could.

I could feel him quiver, his hands dropping to lightly hold my head in place. He closed his eyes and he shouted my name and then moaned as he came in my mouth, spurt after spurt of his cum hitting the back of my throat. The feeling was intoxicating! I felt so powerful, knowing that _I_ was the one to do that to him – to bring that look of pleasure to his face.

Looking up at my Russian God, I swallowed his seed, waiting for his excitement to fade before pulling my lips from his cock. He was still partially reclined, eyes half closed and a huge grin on his face. Smiling indulgently at him I shimmied up the bed towards him, tucking myself in under the arm he stretched out for me.

"I've never had anyone do anything that sexy to me!" he whispered awed.

"I did good?" I asked a little shyly but secretly pretty proud of myself. The aftertaste of his cum was in my mouth, but I wasn't finding it unpleasant.

"Oh milaya you did really good," he affirmed pulling me tightly against him then covering us with the quilt.

We sat there for an hour, me tracing little patterns on his chest, him with his fingers tangled in locks of my hair. We were both lost in our thoughts.

"You need to keep training once I'm gone…" he said, breaking the silence with a sigh. "Promise me? I don't like the idea of you falling behind. It makes it easier for me thinking of you being as strong and prepared as you can be."

"I will absolutely keep training while you're _away_ ," I agreed, stressing the word away. I just couldn't deal with him using words like 'gone.' "Besides, I have my qualifier to get through yet, don't I? You going to give me any clues about that?" I asked craftily, partly to get info but more as a way to move the subject away from talk of him leaving. Dimitri had said he was going to be the one to take me, which implied it wouldn't be happening on campus.

"Well… it was _supposed_ to be a secret, but you're booked in to have it done with Art Schoenberg in a few weeks time."

"Art freaking Schoenberg?" I gasped, pulling back to look at Dimitri in alarm. "How the hell did you manage that? _Why_ did you organize that? There's no way in _hell_ I'll pass!"

"You'll pass, Roza," Dimitri soothed. "I've known Art quite a while. He was one of the Guardians I had to fight for my Blood Masters," he explained. "A recommendation from Art would go a long way on your record."

"You must have pulled some serious strings to get him to agree to assess me?" I asked.

Dimitri shrugged. "When I told him you'd basically covered two years worth of material in two months he was impressed. Besides, I think he was keen to meet Janine's daughter," he confessed. "Your Mom's one of the best in the business."

Yes, she was. Did that mean she'd be going on this mission, too? As soon as the idea came to me, I asked.

"No, Roza," he soothed. "There aren't many Guardians who are parents, but those who are aren't sent on missions like these."

"Why? So they're there to love and support their children? Mom does a _great_ job of that," I said, sarcasm dripping from every word. I couldn't believe they wouldn't send my absentee mother because I supposedly needed her, yet they'd send the man who I needed almost as much as I needed oxygen. Dimitri held me. He knew how things stood between my mother and I. More than once he'd encouraged me to try and connect with her, but honestly, I still didn't see the point. I barely knew her, and I saw no reason to try and change that.

Not wanting to ponder the injustice of it or dwell on the always sensitive topic of my mother, I changed the subject. "So are you going to tell me where we're off to tonight?"

"Nope! Just that we're going to dinner and then we're going to dance," Dimitri said in a sultry tone. "I want to romance you, tonight."

"You've been romancing me all day, Comrade," I said affectionately, thinking about the very relaxing, intimate afternoon we'd spent together.

"You deserve it, Rose. I want you to know how much you mean to me. So when I'm… away… you'll remember that you're absolutely everything to this man."

* * *

Our days together passed in a blur. Dinner on Saturday night had been everything Dimitri had promised and more. The restaurant he'd taken me to had been superb. The food was delicious but even better was the live band. We'd spent several hours that evening twirling across the parquet, lost in our own little world.

Over the next few days we'd gone to an ice-hockey game, spent an afternoon at a Country and Western bar drinking and playing pool, gone to the movies again but this time actually watched the film, we'd eaten pancakes, Indian, Chinese and pizza and spent hours talking, kissing and making love. The only downer had been meeting the lawyer on Monday afternoon.

A Lazar, he'd been surprisingly sympathetic. He'd accepted my presence as Dimitri's girlfriend without question and was sensitive and gentle in his questions. The appointment didn't take long. The banking aspect of things already taken care of, the discussion had moved to Dimitri's Guardian pension, his personal belongings and his funeral requests.

The lawyer explained that after a death, family and friends could get unreasonable in their thinking, so he encouraged Dimitri to be as specific as possible regarding his final wishes.

"Fine. Please put that my girlfriend Rosemarie Hathaway is to be the one to sort my belongings at St. Vladimir's and to arrange shipping of the box we'll pack together back to my family in Baia. This can happen at any time she's ready during the six months after my passing. I don't want her hurried, and I don't want anyone else touching my things. I'd also like it noted Rose can keep or dispose of my things in any way she sees fit, other than what we've packed to send home. If my body is found, I want to be buried in Baia, with my stakes if possible, and for my mother to be in charge of all funeral proceedings. My only wish is that it be as simple as possible. There may well be a memorial service at St. Vladimir's. If so, I'd like it noted I'd like Rose to be fully consulted about all particulars."

The lawyer jotted everything down, asking for the names of secondary people should something happen to Olena or me.

"My sister Karolina in place of my mother. Roza? If for some reason you can't do my room what about Alberta?" I nodded. Alberta would be respectful and would make sure Dimitri's things were disposed of thoughtfully.

The mood had been somber after the lawyers meeting. Dimitri suggested a meal out, but all I could think about was how it would feel like the last supper, so instead, we picked up Subway and ate at the motel. Thoughts that had been hard to push away on Thursday were impossible to avoid, now. And so we lay next to one another in bed not talking much.

"So tomorrow we check out at 10 am," Dimitri said, his voice steady although he was gripping my hand hard. "Then I'd like to go shopping for a few things and get the photos from your camera printed. I thought if we got back to the Academy before dark we could do a final workout together if you're up to it? Then we can pack my room and spend the last few hours quietly together?" I nodded, not even trusting my voice to articulate a response.

"Is there anything else you want to do before we head back to the Academy?" he asked softly. "We'll have a few hours?"

"No," I whispered, my heart breaking with every syllable. "This weekend has been perfect."

"You're very tense," he observed, his large hands wandering across my shoulders and back. "It won't be as good as the thermal pool, but how about we try out the spa and see if that relaxes you? We haven't given it a go yet?"

Wordlessly walking to the bathroom, Dimitri started filling the tub before stripping down. Coming back into the bedroom, he helped me undress then scooped me off the bed and carried me the few steps to the bathroom. He stepped into the tub lowering the two of us down into the water. I lay on my side between his open legs, resting my head on his chest above his heart as he held me close to him. The water finally the right level, he switched off the taps and turned on the jets. And with the warm water massaging our bodies Dimitri held me to him, consoling me as I sobbed.


	7. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 7

It's funny how four days could make such a difference to one's life. When we'd checked into the motel just before daybreak Friday morning, I'd been counting firsts. The first time we fell asleep together. The first time we'd made love. The first shower together. Yet here we were ninety-six hours later at the beginning of day five, and already I was counting lasts. I didn't know how to reconcile the fact that the best five days of my life might need to be enough to last me a lifetime. A lifetime without Dimitri.

It was still early on Tuesday, around 7.30 am, and we were lying in bed together. Neither of us had slept well. I'd woken in the small hours to find Dimitri missing from the bed. Even though it had only been a few days, I was already accustomed to his presence with me as I slept, noticing it when he was absent. I'd looked up to see him sitting at the table, head in his hands, writing on the small sheets of motel stationery.

"Good timing – I'd just finished," he'd said softly, tucking a few sheets into an envelope. Turning to face me I could see he'd been crying.

"What were you writing?" I'd asked apprehensively, wondering whether I really wanted to know.

"Just letters to my nephew and niece. Paul's nine, and I haven't seen him since he was around six, although he'll remember me from skype. Zoya's only a baby, and I've never met her, but I thought it would be nice to let her know her dyadya still cared."

He'd stripped off and come back to bed, lying on his side and resting his head on my breasts. Usually, I was the one to sleep with my head against him, but this time he was the one needing comfort. I'd pulled him close, kissing and stroking his hair, and he'd played with mine. And knowing he didn't want me to acknowledge it, I'd pretended not to feel his tears trickling across my chest, just as he pretended not to hear my whimpers as I also wept.

We'd eventually fallen back to sleep, and when I woke, we were lying facing one another, his arm draped around my waist. I knew he was awake by the way his breathing was so steady.

"Good morning, Comrade," I said, trying to keep my voice light.

"Morning Roza," he said softly. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. There was no way to answer that question cheerfully, so instead, I nuzzled in against him, tangling my legs with his and wrapping myself in his warm embrace.

"Dimitri? We've covered how things are going to play out if you don't come back. What's going to happen if you _do?"_

We'd been so focused on the fact that we wouldn't get a chance for a future together, we'd not talked about how things would go if the impossible happened; if he returned to me. "Would we be together? Openly?"

Dimitri smiled. "If I come back I'm going to shout my love for you from the rooftops. And I promise you, we'll find a way to make it work. I never want to be without you milaya, so for as long as you want me, I'll be yours."

"There's never going to be a day when I don't want you," I promised, thinking about if he came back and also if he didn't. "So you're going to be stuck with me."

"There's a happy thought for a man," he teased, pulling me closer to him and bringing his lips to mine. And for a few more minutes, I was able to push thoughts of him leaving away.

His lips were so soft as he laid feather-light kisses across my cheekbones and eyes, trailing along the side of my face before kissing lightly behind my ear. Using his huge hands, he spun me around, so my back was against his chest, pulling me firmly against him with his toned muscular arms. He was kissing my nape as I wriggled my backside against his naked crotch, giving him my wordless cue that I needed his loving.

His lips not pausing on my neck, he pushed his crotch against my butt, pressing the start of his erection against me. I couldn't help the sigh of expectation that escaped my lips. We'd made love enough times now that I knew not to be fearful of his sizeable member – after the first time, our lovemaking had brought me nothing but immense pleasure.

Fondling my breasts in his rough, calloused hands, Dimitri's touch was gentle and sensual – kneading my sensitive flesh before circling each pebbled bud with his fingers. I pushed myself back against him, lifting my leg over his to give his hands access to my silken folds. Running a hand down between my breasts and over my stomach, it ended up between my legs, his index finger running the length of my slit. Pausing to test how ready I was for him, he removed his fingers, wetting them in his mouth, before returning them to stroke gently between my legs, focusing on the tight bundle of nerves of my clit.

Turning my upper body to face him, our mouths joined, indulging in slow, languorous kisses. I closed my eyes, letting my other senses take forefront – the feeling of his hand stroking me, the faint smell of his aftershave, the taste of his mouth on mine and the sound of his little growls of promise.

My nipples were taut and my folds slick with anticipation when he gripped his shaft, sliding inside me inch by glorious inch until he was fully seated within me. He continued stroking me softly – enough to keep me in a fully aroused state, but not quite enough to take me to that next plane of pleasure. Rocking his hips against mine, his thrusts were shallow, but the angle was great - each gentle rock propelling the tip of his manhood against my G-spot.

"I could keep this up for hours," Dimitri murmured teasingly into my ear, pulling the lobe into his mouth and nipping it lightly, causing a scintillating burst of pleasure to radiate down my spine to my already feverish lower regions.

"Then do it," I challenged, never wanting this feeling to end – aiming to prolong this felicity for as long as possible.

So for the next hour, we made unhurried, gentle, reverent love. It wasn't until we were lying in one another's arms afterward that I shivered, wondering whether that had been yet another last.

We were both quiet as we finished packing our things into the car. Dimitri headed back into the room, checking to make sure that nothing was left behind. I followed, wrapping my arms around his hips as we stood in the center of the space. I took a good look around, trying to imprint in my memory the place where we'd consummated our love and shared the meager four nights we'd been gifted to play out our ill-fated relationship.

"Time to check out, milaya."

"I know," I said sadly. "Let me take some photos of the room, first. I don't want to forget anything."

No one else would understand the significance, or understand why I took a photo of a door with '22' in brass letters on it, or pictures of a spa bath in a motel room, or even the view of a patio and distant mountains through a glass sliding door, but I took the photos nonetheless. They were for me, and I knew the time was coming where I would need them.

"I'll check us out," Dimitri said opening the car door for me. He drove up to reception, hopping out to go into the office. Once he was back, he squeezed my hand. "Let's get some brunch, Roza. You must be hungry."

We drove to the mall, but it looked crowded, and neither of us was in a mood to be around people just yet, so we drove around the streets of Missoula for a while until Dimitri spotted a little café. It was quiet, being before the lunch rush, so we had the place almost to ourselves. My stomach was in knots, so for once I didn't feel like eating, but Dimitri insisted, so I ordered black coffee and a ham, cheese, tomato, and chive omelet while he ordered scrambled eggs on toast. We sat eating in almost silence.

I looked up at my man, seeing how hard this was for him. So yet again I pushed my feelings down.

"So… I believe you promised me some shopping time before we go back to the Academy? How about once we're finished here we go back to the mall, put our photos in to be printed and then go check out the shops?"

"I'd like that," he said, blessing me with a sweet smile that I returned. We had just over thirteen hours left together, and I didn't intend to waste a single moment. There'd be plenty of time for tears once he left.

At the mall we sat side by side at a self-serve photo booth, laughing at some of the photos we'd taken.

"I like that one," he'd mumbled, blushing a little as the photo of us drinking vodka shots naked came up on the screen. I was so glad I hadn't deleted it!

"Maybe I should send it out as this year's Christmas card?" I teased, pointing to the tacky Christmas graphics and frames that could be added to photos before they were printed.

"I can just see it now… _'Dear Guardian Alto… Wishing you a happy holiday season. Hope you get into the spirit of things like we did! Love Guardian Belikov and Novice Hathaway!'"_

Dimitri looked at me and laughed. "Where do you _get_ those ideas from?" he asked, his rich, deep laugh causing passersby to turn and look at us benevolently.

"It's a gift, Comrade," I smirked laughing with him. "I'm half tempted to do it just to see whether he'd display it with his other Christmas cards!"

"Don't you dare!" Dimitri groaned still laughing at the idea of it.

"Yeah yeah, keep your shirt on," I teased. There were some gorgeous shots, although my favorite was the one taken straight after we'd made love the first time. Even if you didn't know the context, it was a great photo. You could see we were both so happy and in love. "That's my favorite," I said, pointing to it.

"Yeah – I like that one too," he said, smiling at me adoringly.

Placing the order for what ended up being a huge number of photos, we had an hour to kill while they were printed up.

"Come on milaya. There's something I want to get for you." He consulted the mall directory, and we held hands, fingers entwined, as we walked through the mall together. He stopped in front of a jewelers. "Let's look in here," he suggested, pulling me through the open doorway before I could object.

"Can I help you?" a shop attendant asked, looking at my surprised expression and Dimitri's determined one.

"Yes. I'm looking for a piece of jewelry for my girlfriend."

"Anything in particular?" she asked, lighting up with the potential of a sale.

"Milaya?" he asked, looking at me enquiringly. "What would you like?"

"Comrade this isn't necessary," I said, flushing with embarrassment.

"Yes, it is," he said decisively. "Now would you rather gold or silver? What's the rest of your jewelry?"

"I don't have any jewelry," I answered honestly. Unless you counted a few strands of beads, I didn't have anything. The only real jewelry I'd ever been given was from Victor Dashkov – and Dimitri had flung that out the window of his dorm room when he realized it had been infused with a lust charm.

Dimitri muttered something in Russian before saying in English "Then you can choose which you prefer. Either will suit your skin tone. Would you like a ring? A bracelet? A necklace? Not earrings, as your ears aren't pierced, unless you'd like them done today which I could organize…" My Russian God was rambling nervously, and it was very cute. " _Please,_ milaya. I like the idea of you having something special from me."

I could see there would be no dissuading him.

"Not a ring. Too likely to get damaged in my line of work," I said, giving Dimitri a meaningful glance at the attendant who was listening to our exchange. "I think I'd like to get something I can wear every day, so what about a bracelet or a necklace?"

Hearing our discussion, the shop assistant started pulling out plain necklaces, and I nearly _died_ when I saw some of the prices. It seemed a ridiculous amount of money to spend on something I didn't even like.

"Is there anything you like the look of?" Dimitri asked hopefully.

I shook my head. It all looked delicate and prissy, and that just wasn't me. I looked around the cabinets, but nothing looked right.

"Is there another jewelers?" I asked him, earning myself a nasty look from the shop assistant as she could see her sale about to walk out the door.

"Yeah, there are four or five others. Let's see if any of them have something you like."

We checked out two other jewelers, and _still_ nothing was taking my fancy. I wasn't trying to be difficult – but if Dimitri was determined to drop a wad of cash on something for me, I wanted to _love_ it.

We were walking towards the fourth jewelry store when I saw an interesting window display. It was a hippie store – the type of place that sold incense, cheesecloth clothing, carved wooden furniture, tarot cards, books on spirituality and the like. But in the window was a display of silver jewelry, including the most stunning pendant I'd ever seen. It was a large faceted red stone surrounded by a thick silver cuff with a curl at the bottom. I couldn't imagine a store like this would stock rubies, so it must have been something else. But boy was it gorgeous.

"Some of these are pretty," I suggested to Dimitri. I wanted to check out the prices before I told him I really really liked the red one.

His face lit up with a gorgeous, loving smile. I think he'd been getting worried I'd never find _anything_ I liked! Inside the store, he asked the shop assistant to get the display stand I'd been looking at. There was a range of colored pendants, and I took my time looking them over. I checked out the amethyst ones first and was heartened when I saw the prices were reasonable. Finally, I picked up the red one, turning it over to look at the back and surreptitiously checking the price tag. Not only did I _love_ it, but I also loved that the price didn't give me heart failure.

"I really like this one," I said to Dimitri shyly handing the pendant to him. The red stone brought to mind romantic love, and it was the sort of thing I could see myself wearing every day.

"It's beautiful, milaya, but are you sure you're not liking it because it's not as expensive as some of the other things you've seen? I don't want you worrying about how much what I get you costs," he lectured lovingly. He knew me so well!

"No. I actually love it. I think it's better than anything in any of the jewelers. I like that it's beautiful but not too delicate. It would look good with normal clothes, but I could also wear it with a going out dress and it would still work. I'd like something I can wear all the time because whatever you give me, I don't want to ever take it off."

He looked so touched, but replied lightly "If that's what you want, then we'll get it."

"That's a lovely choice. It's a garnet in sterling silver," the sales assistant said pleasantly. "Garnets are said to have protective properties. They also symbolize commitment, hope, and faith."

"And they mine garnets in the Ural Mountains in Russia, milaya," Dimitri said, balling the pendant up into his fist and giving it a kiss.

"It all fits together perfectly – it was meant to be mine," I said smugly.

"Will you need a chain to go with that?" the assistant enquired.

"Yes, she will," Dimitri replied before I had a chance to respond. "Go for something longer, milaya," he counseled. "You don't want anything too short that could be used to choke you in a fight."

If the sales attendant thought it odd we were discussing being choked, she knew well enough to keep it to herself.

"What about this one?" she suggested, bringing out a silver chain. "The loops of the chain are large enough to take the clasp, so you can fasten it as long or short as you like, so it's always the right length for what you're wearing." She slipped the pendant onto the necklace and fastened it at its longest setting, handing it to Dimitri who slipped it over my head. The pendant immediately slipped under my top and between my breasts to rest in my bra.

"Oh – perhaps that's a little long?"

"Actually, that's perfect. That way I can tuck it into my crop top when I'm training," I said looking at Dimitri.

"We'll take them both," he said, pulling out his wallet, "and she'll wear them now."

"Thank you, Comrade," I said, leaning up to kiss him.

"You're welcome, Roza," he muttered against my lips. "I like the idea of the pendant I bought you tucked next to your heart."

"And here's me thinking it was all about my breasts," I replied quietly; making a joke so I wouldn't burst into tears in the middle of the mall.

"Well I like it being next to them, too," Dimitri grinned, pulling me hard against him as the attendant processed the sale.

We walked back to get the photos and then we were sitting in the car flipping through them laughing and reminiscing. We sat and just held hands for a while, and then Dimitri started the engine.

"Let's go home, milaya." And I nodded because he was right. It was time. He took his time driving back to the Academy. Sure it was snowing, so there was safety to consider, but it was more than that. He was giving us time to adjust our way of thinking for what we both knew was coming next.


	8. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 8

We were about forty-five minutes away from the Academy when I pulled out my phone, checking to see if Lissa or Mason had been in touch. It was pretty much the first thought I'd given them all weekend I realized guiltily. There was one message from Lissa yesterday asking me when I'd be back. I knew I wasn't going to be in a state to see anyone after Dimitri left, and I'd be transitioning back to the Moroi timetable. So I texted her, telling her I'd be back in a few hours time but was seriously sleep deprived and switching back from days to nights so would see her on Wednesday. It was a believable lie, and would give me a chance to try and pull myself together before I had to see people.

The last minutes in the car were spent going through practicalities – Dimitri telling me who knew about him leaving and the circumstances surrounding it.

"I know it's going to be hard milaya, but until Alberta makes the news public if anyone asks, just tell people I've gone on leave to see my family. I hate to ask you to lie to your friends, but the fewer people who know, the better, especially Moroi. They just don't get that any hint of this mission could compromise it if the wrong people got word."

I nodded. No way would I be telling _anyone_ knowing my silence might help keep the man I loved safe. We were five minutes from the Academy gates when Dimitri pulled onto the road shoulder. He kept the engine running so the heat would continue to run.

"We're nearly back, Roza," he started, taking my hands in his, "and before there are other people around, I want to thank you for the best few days of my life. Of the things I regret, our love will never be one of them. In fact, my only regret about it is I didn't let us act on our feelings earlier. Loving you has brought me the sweetest and most meaningful moments I've known. You're fierce, brave and beautiful and I still don't know how I was lucky enough to win your love, but I'll be forever grateful to you for giving it to me. No matter what happens, I want you to know you're the one for me." He leaned across, closing the space between us and bringing his soft lips to mine. "The _only_ woman I've ever been in love with," he whispered reverently against my lips. "And the one I'll spend the rest of my life loving, no matter how long or short that is."

As we kissed, Dimitri used his thumb to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"I'm the lucky one," I murmured, pulling back to lean my forehead against his. "I don't know how to describe how it feels to be loved by you. I meant what I said – you're very easy to love. You are and will always be the one for me, Comrade."

We held hands, looking at one another and saying things with our eyes and hearts that lips couldn't. It was hard not to feel bitterness that our time together had been so short, but I knew had it been just a day or even an hour I'd still have chosen to experience it with him, consequences be damned.

With a final kiss, he pulled away, squeezing my hands before releasing them to resume his grip on the steering wheel. Pulling back onto the deserted road, my Russian God drove us the final few minutes until we were at the gates of the Academy, stopping to check in with the Guardian at the gatehouse.

"Belikov, Novice Hathaway," he greeted when Dimitri wound down the window.

"Collins," Dimitri acknowledged. "We're back from a training exercise. Can you make a note on Alberta's briefing sheet we've checked back in, please?"

Collins nodded, opening the gate and waving us through. It was 3.30 pm. The middle of the Moroi night, so the Academy was silent.

"Have you got workout gear in your bag?" Dimitri asked.

"Yeah."

"Then let's go straight to my room. We can pack then go for a workout if you want?"

He pulled up at the foot of the Guardian dorms, coming around to open my door before grabbing our bags from the trunk.

"Come on milaya. I'll get boxes from the storeroom."

We saw no one on the way to his room, but if anyone had questioned me about wandering around with Dimitri in the middle of the night, I'd probably have told them where to go with the mood I was in. In his room, he dumped our bags just inside the door and the boxes beside it.

"Are you sure you want to pack the rest of my things if I don't come back?" he asked, looking at me carefully. "I don't have a lot – I could easily sort everything now…"

"Am I your girlfriend?" I challenged, my eyebrows raised.

He looked confused. "Yes, you're my girlfriend, milaya."

"Then I want to do that. If things…" I swallowed, gulping down a sob. "If things work out _that_ way, I'm going to need to do that for you. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Roza," he said, pulling me to him and seating us both on his bed. We sat for a minute and then he pulled over a box with a sigh. "I'll just put everything for Baia in here," he said, assembling the flat box.

He went to his chest of drawers, opening them to reveal rows of organized belongings. The first thing he pulled out was a photo album, passing it across to me. "They're mostly photos of Ivan and me," he said with a soft smile, sitting beside me as I opened the album. We flicked through the pages, Dimitri commenting on some of them.

"That's Christian's Aunt Tasha," he said, pausing at one photo. It was a full-length shot, so all I could see was a slim woman with black hair, pale skin and a scar down one cheek. She was standing between Dimitri and Ivan, looking up at Dimitri adoringly.

"Were you and she together?" I asked, my stomach clenching uncomfortably at the idea.

"No milaya," he soothed. "She had a real thing for Ivan, and they dated briefly, but she wanted more than he did. When he moved on, I was the friend who listened to hours of _'but why doesn't he love me?!'"_ he said with a chuckle.

"I don't know, Comrade. She looks pretty smitten in that photo, and she's not looking at Ivan..."

Dimitri rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"It was never like that," he promised, leaning forward and kissing me on the nose. "Unlike _Veronika,"_ he teased, pointing to a photo of a blonde Dhampir wearing an unflattering mini-dress, probably before a St. Basil's dance by the looks of it. "I was _crazy_ about her all through senior school…"

I almost snatched the album out of his hands, bringing it close to my face so I could scrutinize the photo carefully. "Were you and _she_ together?"

"No. She led me on for three years. Half of the guys in the senior class as well… She was the girl we all wanted, but none of us got…"

"Where is she now?" I asked a little petulantly.

"No idea. Haven't seen or heard about her since graduation," he laughed. "Are you feeling a little green-eyed?" he asked, his lips curving softly.

"No," I said giving him a pouty look.

"You _are_ ," he insisted with a chuckle. "I've told you – there's no one else, Roza. I've dated other women, but you're the only woman I've fallen in love with…"

He gave me a reassuring kiss then we flicked through the rest of the album, which was thankfully devoid of any further photos of women, other than those in his family.

"I'd like to put our photos in here, too," he said, reaching into his bag and pulling out the paper wallet with his copy of our photos from the weekend. He flipped through them, pulling out particularly nice ones. We'd got multiple copies of our favorites, so he set aside those he wanted to take with him, choosing another twenty or so to add to his album.

"Are you sure you want to include that one?" I asked, pointing to a copy of the photo he'd taken after he'd taken my virginity. "I mean – you can tell we're in bed…"

"I don't care, milaya. It's a beautiful photo, besides my family already know we have a physical relationship."

"You _told_ them?!" I gasped. "Comrade!"

Dimitri shrugged. "They asked where you were sleeping at the motel, and I said with me. I'm not ashamed, milaya," he explained. "This is my photo album, and I'm not going to censor myself, especially not from my family." He finished putting the photos of us in the album, tucking the wallet with the others in at the back.

Going back to the same dresser drawer, he pulled out a set of stakes. "These are the stakes I got when I graduated from St Basil's. I used them up until Ivan died, but I retired them after that. I'd like to be buried with these – so if I die and my body is found, please send these on straight away, even if you're not ready to send the rest of my things."

I nodded. "Put them at the top of the box," I said faintly. "I won't forget."

He pulled his paperbacks from his bookshelf, stacking them on top of the photo album.

"Paul is apparently sharing my love of Westerns," he said with a fond smile. "I thought to give him these." Going back to the drawer he pulled out a fob watch on a silver chain and added that, too. "That was my grandfather's. My mother's Moroi father," he explained. "Babushka still has lady's jewelry he gave her which will go to my sisters, but I thought this for Paul, too."

"Should you label it for him?"

"No – they'll know."

He walked through his room, carefully checking every drawer and his wardrobe. He grabbed a pair of cowboy boots I'd _never_ seen him wear, giving me a sheepish look. "My family bought them as a moving to America present," he offered.

"You love them don't you?!"

"Yeah," he admitted. "But I look _ridiculous_ wearing them…"

"I bet you look sexy," I murmured. Dimitri looked sexy in _everything._

My Russian God chuckled. "You have rose-colored glasses," he accused, obviously pleased at his double entendre.

"That, Comrade, was very cheesy!" I laughed.

He shrugged, still smiling and looked around the room. "That's it other than the quilt. I should send that back, too… Unless you'd like it?"

"I can't take that. Your family made it for you."

"They did, but we have masses of them at home. I used to think of home every time I saw this. Now every time I see it, I remember _that_ night. I'd really like you to have it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It will be a link between you and my family." He looked at me uncertainly before he continued. "There's something else I have. Something I should return to you…" He reached into his sock drawer, and I had to laugh as I saw two rows of perfectly folded socks lined up with military precision. "I'm pretty sure the charm has burnt itself out," he said, opening his closed fist and dropping Victor's rose necklace into my palm.

"I thought that was long gone," I muttered, looking at the jewelry in my palm with mixed feelings. Dimitri was right. Whatever enchantment it had had was obviously long gone, as I did not react to it either.

"I went and found it the next day," Dimitri explained. "It's yours, and you should have it. Besides – in some ways, I feel I owe Dashkov…"

"I know what you mean," I admitted. "Doesn't mean I want to wear the thing," I said, dropping it carelessly on top of my duffel bag before reaching to my décolletage to grasp the chain of my garnet pendant, bringing it to my lips and kissing it reverently. " _This_ is what I choose to wear."

"I should hope so," Dimitri said lightly – but the look in his eyes said a lot more than his words. He looked around his room. "Well, that's it to send home. The rest of it do what you want with… I know Emil likes Country music," he suggested pointing to his CDs, "And she'll deny it, but Alberta loves music from the 80s…"

I smiled. Oh, the teasing I would have with that.

"Is there anything you'd like? I mean – it's all for you to decide if I don't come back… But is there anything you want now?"

I looked at the floor. There _were_ things I wanted, but I felt almost like a vulture asking for his things before he was gone.

"Can you transfer a copy of your music from your phone to mine?" I said in a voice little more than a whisper. "All of it – even the country stuff. We've worked out to it together for so long…" I started to explain.

"Absolutely," he said with a sweet smile, picking up his phone and taking mine – fiddling with them and starting the transfer from one to the other. "I've put it in a directory called 'Comrade,'" he said, "broken down into the same categories as my phone."

"Thank you," I muttered, psyching myself up for my next request. "I was wondering… Do you think I could borrow a sweatshirt or two? Yours are so big, they're almost dresses on me. I thought it might help to go to sleep wearing something of yours?"

"I like the idea of you sleeping in my clothes," he said lightly, turning away to try and conceal the flash of pain crossing his face.

"No! Comrade forget it – it was a silly idea," I blurted out, instantly regretful.

"It's not that, milaya. I just hate the idea of you sleeping without me. I've loved sleeping beside you."

"Me too. That's why I want something of yours to sleep in…"

He opened his drawers pulling out two sweatshirts, both with Cyrillic writing.

"That one is from the St. Basil's wrestling team, and this one is my old track and field one."

"Don't you want to keep these?" I asked. "Surely they're sentimental?"

"You have them milaya. I'll imagine you wearing them." The air was so emotionally charged neither of us knew what to do, so he started unpacking his duffel bag from our weekend away. "I should see if I can get my laundry done before I go," he muttered.

"I'll do it," I volunteered.

"You don't have to wash my clothes," he said with a loving smile.

"I'd like to. It will give me something to do. I'm going to have a lot of spare hours while you're away. I'll do them when I do mine, and Alberta can let me in to bring them back here."

He shrugged. I could see he didn't like the idea of burdening me with his washing, but in the end, his natural tendency towards orderliness won out. "Thank you, Roza."

I smiled. Usually, I hated doing laundry, but I'd love doing his. "So what do you need to take with you?" I asked.

"Warm, casual clothes and one winter uniform," he said, going to his cupboard and pulling out jeans, pants, long-sleeved sweaters and tops. "I'll wear my uniform when I leave," he said, pulling it out too. He continued walking around the room, pulling out underwear, socks, a pair of flannelette pajama bottoms and shirt plus his combat boots. Pulling over his now empty duffel bag, he loaded the new clothing in, adding his shaving kit and toiletries bag. The last thing he grabbed was a handful of photos of the two of us. Several of us in bed together, a couple of us kissing, a head and shoulders of us in the water at the springs, another taken when we were playing pool at the Country and Western bar, one of me asleep, and finally the one of us drinking vodka naked.

"That's everything," he sighed, bundling up his dirty clothes and putting them into a plastic bag. He sat on the empty bed, patting the mattress beside him. I sat beside him, holding his hand. His clock read 4.15 pm. He lay back on the bed, and I followed, resting my head against his chest. We lay there for maybe five minutes, but I could tell he was agitated.

"Come workout with me?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically tentative. "I'm feeling restless."

"Sure."

We changed into sweats, stopping to kiss and cuddle a little as we stripped and redressed. Picking up our phones, Dimitri checked the music transfer was complete before fiddling with them a little more.

"I've put the number for Baia in," he said. "It's under Belikov. The address, too. I know Mama would love it if you kept in touch…"

He walked around the room a final time, closing the wardrobe doors, straightening his CDs, smoothing the quilt on his bed and checking the bathroom one last time. He put his stakes on top of the box to send home, pulling the battery out of his phone and putting the two parts on the table beside the box. He picked up his duffel bag, mine as well as his plastic bag of washing.

"Let's go, Roza," he said, following me out of his room and closing the door.

We walked through the deserted corridors then across the commons and towards the gym. Other than a bored looking Guardian outside in the distance, we saw no one. Flipping on the lights in the gym, I was greeted by the familiar smell of wood, polish, gym mats and sweat. Dumping our bags in the usual spot beside the benches we started our warm-ups. In the past, we'd keep a respectful distance, cognizant the gym was a public place and we could be interrupted at any moment. But not today. We stole kisses between our moves and touched one another casually in the unconscious way two people familiar with one another's bodies do.

After we warmed up, we sparred. Neither of us was putting all our effort into it. It was more of a companionable practice spar. Still, I let out a triumphant whoop when I pinned my Russian God.

"Got you, Comrade!" I announced gleefully, leaning down to kiss him after delivering my simulated stake thrust.

"You did," he said, smiling at me proudly. "You've learned so much, milaya. You're going to make a wonderful Guardian."

"Just like my boyfriend," I replied, bringing my lips back to his. We were still kissing when we heard the outer gym door. We rolled apart slightly, moving into an arguably more respectable position. At this stage, I don't think either of us cared whether we were caught.

"Morning. I saw you'd checked back in." It was Alberta. "Did you get everything done you needed to?" she asked Dimitri kindly, her eyes flicking across to me. I could see her looking at the two of us, trying to determine how things stood.

"Yes, we did. Thank you so very much. We both appreciate it, Alberta," he said, taking my hand in his.

Alberta gave us a sad smile. "I have some paperwork you need to fill out, Dimitri. It should only take five minutes."

"We're done here – Rose maybe you could go to the cafeteria and grab us some food, and I'll do the paperwork with Alberta?" He looked at me tenderly, letting me know he'd be as quick as possible. Switching his eyes back to Alberta he explained, "I don't really want to see anyone today, so I was hoping Rose and I could hang out in her dorm room until it's time?"

"That's fine. I'll let your teachers know you're excused from classes today, Rose," Alberta said giving me a sympathetic look. "If there's any issue at the cafeteria just get them to call me."

I stood up, grabbing my bag, and walked back to Dimitri, brushing my lips across his. "I'll see you in a minute, Comrade. Anything in particular you want?"

"Whatever you think, milaya," he said lovingly.

I turned and walked across to the exit, pretending not to see Alberta's slightly surprised expression. She knew. We knew she knew. What was the point in pretending? Besides, it felt nice to be open about how I felt – even if it was one tiny kiss in front of one person. At least someone knew about us. That there _was_ an us.

At the cafeteria, I was suddenly famished. We'd last eaten at 10.30 am and it was now approaching 6.00 pm. I grabbed four bacon, egg and cheese rolls, a couple of large yogurts, some fruit, some chocolate doughnuts, six rounds of pre-packaged sandwiches, two pieces of pie, an apple and an orange juice. Seeing the attendant start to open her mouth about the amount of food, I cut her off.

"Alberta said to call her if there was a problem."

The woman eyed me warily. I wasn't always known for obeying the rules, and this much food did look like someone stocking up to go on the run, so I didn't blame her when she picked up the phone beside her. Whatever Alberta said worked, because not only did she pack my selections without comment, she whipped out the back, returning with two large slices of chocolate cake and a container filled with fresh salami and pesto gnocchi, loading them all into a small box.

I was walking across the commons towards my dorm when I heard a deeply accented voice.

"Milaya."

Turning, I saw my man.

"Let's get upstairs before the campus wakes," he said, taking the box from me and following me towards the Novice dorms. We made it to my room without being seen.

"Put your washing in the hamper," I muttered pointing to a basket in the corner, taking the box of food and unpacking it onto my small study desk. I dragged it across to my bed, positioning the study chair on the other side, so we had a makeshift table to eat off. "Everything ok with Alberta?"

"Yeah. Just had to sign my reallocation papers. I also gave her a copy of the stuff from the lawyer and went through my wishes with her." Dimitri carefully avoided the word 'will,' and I was grateful. We ate, both surprisingly hungry. It was weird having him here in my room, but I loved it. We were both still in sweats, and I started to want a shower.

"Comrade? Shower with me?"

"Of course," he said, his eyes raking around the room, looking for the door to the bathroom.

"I don't have a bathroom of my own… There're a couple of communal ones on this floor, but they have cubicles. Besides, Meredith and I are the only ones to use the one at this end of the corridor, and she usually showers at night…" I gave him my naughtiest look.

He laughed. "Come on, Roza. Let's go!" He grabbed his shower kit from his bag.

I stuck my head out the door, unsurprised to see the corridor empty. With less than half a dozen female Dhampir in the senior class, the floor was hardly packed. I pointed to the door a couple down to the left, ushering him across before I followed, bringing my toiletries bag and two towels. We slipped into the room, quickly kicking off our shoes and scooting into a cubicle. With high walls and doors that went down almost to the floor, even if someone else came in, we'd be safe. Holding my finger up to my lips advising him to be quiet, we started to strip each other down. I turned the water on, pushing my naked body against his as we waited for the water to heat up.

His lips were on my neck giving me sexy open-mouthed kisses, and I'd just hooked a leg around his suggestively when the outer bathroom door opened.

"Morning Rose," Meredith called out with a yawn. I raised my hand to my mouth, looking at Dimitri aghast. "Where've you been the last few days?" she asked through the cubicle door.

I was trying hard not to giggle at my Russian God's panicked expression. "Um – training session for my qualifier. I missed it while I was away. I'm taking it sometime in the next week or two."

"Don't stress, you'll be fine," she counseled pleasantly. Meredith was a genuinely nice person.

I heard the shower next to ours hiss on, and Meredith preparing her shower things. Dimitri looked at me, raising his eyebrow deliciously. Carefully moving us under the water he grabbed my bath gel, squirting some into his palm before slowly washing me down. His eyes were dark and carnal as he silently soaped my body, skirting my most intimate places, despite my wishes he'd do otherwise.

Rinsing my soapy body under the spray, I reciprocated, cleaning almost every inch of his body - although dutifully skirting the inches I was _most_ interested in just now. He was obviously aroused, and I was too. I was seriously contemplating ways to assuage our mutual problem when the shower next to us switched off.

"Will you be in classes today, Rose?" Meredith asked conversationally a few minutes later.

"Nope. I only got back a few hours ago, and I've been running on human time, so I'm pretty wrecked," I said honestly. "I'm just about to head to my room and try and get some sleep," I added, following my honesty with a lie.

"No problem. Well, I'll grab any homework for you," she said pleasantly, the rasp of a zip indicating she was packing her belongings. "Have a good sleep, Rose," she said opening the outer bathroom door. "You too, Guardian Belikov," she added before she exited the room.

My eyes shot to Dimitri's in astonishment. We looked at one another stunned. I couldn't prevent the giggle that escaped my lips. I carefully peeked out of the cubicle to make sure we were actually alone. We were, although my eyes immediately fell to our shoes on the bathroom floor. One pair were the ones I always wore to train, the other Dimitri's enormous shoes. You know, there really _must_ be a correlation between a man's feet and his manhood, I mused absently. Spotting our two towels hung over the cubicle door, I could immediately appreciate how Meredith had reached her correct conclusion that Dimitri and I were showering together.

Wrapped only in towels, I zipped across to unlock my dorm room door, Dimitri waiting for my signal to dart across into relative safety, his arms full of our clothing.

"So I think we were busted," he admitted with a chuckle. "How did she know it was me?" he asked.

"Who else wears men's size thirteen shoes and spends every morning training with me?" I asked him. "It's pretty obvious it had to be you. What if she tells someone?"

"What if she does?" he laughed. "Alberta already knows."

He had a point, so I let it go. "Come on Comrade. I want to cuddle." We dropped our towels and climbed into my single dorm bed, snuggling against one another.

I don't know how, but we must have fallen asleep, because it had just gone 10 pm when I woke up to see Dimitri also stirring. "I'm being picked up in an hour and a half downstairs," he whispered sadly looking at the clock on the nightstand. I looked at him, nodding in understanding. The minutes were slipping away fast now.

"I love you so much." It was a plea more than a pledge.

"I love you, too," he replied, desperation evident in his voice, too.

Our lips met via mutual approval. It was hard to work out where he started, and I stopped, and honestly, I didn't want to. We played, taunted and toyed with one another for what seemed like an eternity until finally, we became one again. And this time it was all about the journey, not the destination. We rolled around for an age, constrained by the single bed, and we were all lips, hips, kisses, and caresses. He whispered words of love to me, pausing only to hear my own fervent words of adoration.

Running my hands over him, relishing each blessed second, in the back of my mind was a litany of 'it's the last time.' And even though I was crying as we were together, I still adored every last moment. Right at the very end as he spilled inside me, gasping "I love you. I'll always love you, Roza!" the only thing I could do was moan in reply, "I love you too, Dimitri. I'm always going to!"

We lay together wordlessly, neither daring to say anything. And then it was 11.25.

"It's time, Roza."

"I know," I said, tears flowing freely now. I stood up and helped him repack his shower kit and trainers into his duffel, load his discarded sweats and towel into my hamper and watched him dress into his winter uniform. I packed the sandwiches, gnocchi, and juice so he'd have something to eat on the plane, then I threw on a robe, and we stood hugging until we heard a car's beep from outside.

"Don't come down milaya," he murmured, reaching down and grabbing my camera from my bag. He took a dozen selfies of us standing cuddled together, and then we shared our final kiss. "I love you. No matter what happens, be happy. More than anything, that's what I want for you Roza."

I nodded. "Dimitri," I whispered, "I love you, too. Fight with everything you have to come home to me."

And with a final loving look, he nodded, picked up his duffel and left. I turned off the lights, ripping open the blinds to see Alberta standing beside a Guardian car in the courtyard below. It was brightly illuminated there, and dark above, so I doubt she could see me. A minute or so later Dimitri was there, walking dejectedly towards the car. I could see him greet Alberta, and her give him a motherly hug. It looked like he was wiping tears away, but I couldn't imagine him crying in public, let alone in front of his superior officer.

He turned and looked up. It was dark, so I knew he couldn't see me exactly. Yet as he kissed his fingers and waved them towards my building, it seemed like he was looking right at me.

Then he climbed into the SUV, and I sat at my window watching as the door closed and he drove away from me and out of my life. I sat there waiting until midnight. It was a couple of minutes past when I saw a plane ascending into the sky from the Academy runway. I blew it a kiss and sunk to the floor beneath my dorm window, finally giving in to the desperation I'd been staving off since my Russian God had first told me his devastating news.

More than anything I loved Dimitri Belikov. And now he was gone.


	9. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 9

I woke up shivering, hearing persistent knocking at my dorm room door. It was 5.30 pm – a good two hours before I'd planned to face the world.

"I hope you're decent because I'm coming in," a vaguely familiar female voice said, and I heard a key turning in the lock. Sitting up, and closing my robe around me, I saw Guardian Matthews standing in the doorway.

"Shit, Hathaway! It's _freezing_ in here," she said walking across the room and closing my window. "It's snowing out there, you know?"

I shrugged. Honestly, right now everything just felt numb. I'd sat beneath the window crying for hours, eventually crawling into my bed as the sun started climbing into the sky. I'd obviously slept the entire day away.

"Get some training gear on, and we'll go to the gym," Matthews ordered, yet looking at me kindly. I just stared at her. I couldn't figure out why she was here. She sighed, coming to sit on the side of my bed.

"I know where Belikov has gone and why," she started, "and I know he'd want you to keep up your training. I'm not trying to replace him as your mentor, but I thought you might need a training buddy."

I didn't know what to say. The idea of training with anyone but Dimitri was abhorrent, yet I couldn't avoid the gym forever.

"He was my guarding partner for two years," Matthews explained, "and we grew to be quite close," she added looking at me meaningfully. I wasn't sure what she was trying to say. Was she telling me she was in love with Dimitri, too?! "He's a very private person, but I know you're very… special… to him. I thought it might help if you had someone to train with who you didn't have to pretend around?"

She grabbed my hands, giving me a pained look as she saw the tears welling in my eyes.

"Thank you," I mumbled, swiveling my legs out of bed and grabbing some clean workout gear. I went to grab my bag, forgetting it was still full of my clothes from Missoula. I sighed, quickly emptying it on the bed before stuffing some clothes for the day into it. The pack of photos from our weekend away spilled open, a picture of Dimitri and I with our arms around each other showing on top. It wasn't _too_ incriminating, but it wasn't your usual student/mentor photo either.

Matthews looked at it and smiled. "That's a really nice shot," she said, giving me a kind but knowing smile.

I nodded, picking up the pack of photos and putting it in my desk drawer. When I got back after class, I'd pin some of them up. No one ever visited my room, Lissa's being much larger and more comfortable for any get-togethers, so it wasn't like anyone would see them.

Matthews stood, looking at my photo wall in an obvious attempt to give me some privacy to change, so I discarded my robe and put on panties and a workout bra, topping it with a pair of sweatpants and a TShirt. I didn't even know why I was complying with Matthew's request, other than it seemed easier to go along with what she wanted than tell her to go away. And I had to attend classes and try and hold it together in a couple of hours. It would be easier to do that if I started my interactions with someone who knew the truth about Dimitri's departure, and by the looks of it had a pretty good idea about he and I, too.

I shouldered my bag, and we exited my room, walking through the quiet hallways and exiting the dorms heading towards the gym. When we arrived, as per usual it was deserted.

"You don't usually workout at this time," I observed, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, I'm usually on shift at this time, but with Dimitri leaving Alberta's changed the roster. I'm now taking over Dimitri's old shifts, and Emil is taking over mine."

I couldn't help it, as soon as she said Dimitri's name I flinched.

"I'm sorry, would you rather I not talk about him?" she asked kindly. "I don't want to make this any harder for you."

"No. I have to get used to it," I said softly. "People are going to be asking where he is, and I can't be bursting into tears every five minutes."

Matthews nodded. "You've got guts, Hathaway. I know this can't be easy…"

"Please, call me Rose."

"Sure thing, and you can call me Celeste – at least when we're in here. It's nice to remember I have a first name sometimes, you know?"

I smiled at her. It was commonplace for Guardians to be referred to by their surnames, not their given names. In fact, the only two Guardians I could think of who regularly used their given names were Alberta and Emil. Alberta by way of her seniority, and Emil because no one could say his surname properly.

We started our stretches, Celeste asking about what Dimitri and I usually did during training. I ran her through our usual morning and afternoon session setups, explaining how we usually alternated strength and cardio, then practiced specific moves and finally sparred. I also told her that when the weather was fine, we'd usually start with a long run through the sunset.

"Well let's see how I pull up after this afternoon's session," Celeste joked. "It's been a while since I've done a couple of training sessions in one day! If it's not snowing tomorrow, maybe we can do a run, too."

I looked at her surprised. I hadn't thought she'd be joining me for my afternoon training, too, but somehow the thought was comforting. The idea of suddenly so much time alone scared me, especially since I knew which direction my thoughts would head. Today, being Wednesday, I was scheduled to do weights, so we did our reps and then took turns spotting one another. Celeste didn't chat too much, for which I was grateful.

We were just finishing up our weights at 6.30 and preparing to spar when the gym doors opened, revealing a worried looking Alberta.

" _Here_ you are!" she said, looking at me carefully. "I wasn't sure if you'd be working out today," she continued delicately.

"Yeah. Guardian Matthews came and got me. She said her shifts had changed and thought it might be nice to have a workout buddy."

Alberta gave Celeste a grateful nod. Clearing her throat, Alberta said, "I got word that Guardian Belikov reached Court and joined others there to fly out to his destination. My understanding is the group will be stationed in an isolated region for a week or two before they're deployed. From here on in, I'm not likely to hear much, but anything I hear you'll hear, Rose," she promised. "In the meantime, the official line is Belikov is on leave visiting his family."

I nodded. "I understand. Dimitri explained the need for secrecy. He's also told me who knows so I don't accidentally say something."

"I know this is hard, Rose," Alberta said, stepping closer. "I want you to know you can talk to me, any time of the day or night." She reached out and hugged me and I nodded, trying to blink back my tears. "Ok, well I'll leave you two to it," she said, pulling away and blinking back a few tears of her own.

Sparring with Celeste was very different to sparring with Dimitri. I didn't know any of her signature actions, so I had to pay attention more closely than I did with my Russian God. She also used some moves Dimitri rarely or never employed, which meant I had to attempt different approaches to counter her. She was actually really good, so it wasn't surprising that she pinned me.

"You're good, Rose," Celeste complimented after our third round. "Much better than I was in my Senior year. There are a few things I could teach you, though, if you'd like? Not as a mentor," she added quickly, "just as a friend."

"That would be great," I said, and I meant it. I needed something to focus on other than my grief and fear for Dimitri.

"Come on – let's hit the showers. My shift starts soon, and I need to eat," she said, trying to be jovial.

It was weird heading to the showers with another woman. It wasn't that I was particularly modest – Novices and Guardians, as a rule, were a pretty practical bunch and lots of training meant being used to changing in front of one another. I was just used to having the women's change rooms to myself in the mornings as Dimitri and I were usually the only ones training.

Celeste stripped down, and I did likewise, taking adjacent shower cubicles. I closed my eyes, stepping under the spray, remembering the last shower I took had been with Dimitri. In fact, I was right now washing remnants of his kisses, and more, from my body. I was still a little tender from the lovemaking we'd indulged in all weekend, and I muffled a sob as I realized that pain was now all I had left.

I quickly washed my face under the water, hoping it would help mask my puffy eyes. Stepping out of the shower and toweling down, I checked my reflection in the mirror. It wasn't great, but I was passable. I'd get away with it by passing it off as disrupted sleep thanks to changing back from days to nights. As luck would have it, Wednesdays were my most theory-dense school day, so I'd be in the classroom most of the time. While it would be boring, it meant less opportunity for chatting with my friends, which today could only be a good thing.

Dressed, I threw my damp hair up into a ponytail. Usually, I'd spend a little more time combing it out, but that had always been for Dimitri's benefit. I'd known he loved my hair, so I'd always paid special attention to it on the off chance he'd be guarding one of my classes. Knowing today there was no point, I didn't bother.

Celeste and I walked through the commons towards the cafeteria together. "Thanks for this morning," I started, grateful for her thoughtfulness. "It's really helped."

She smiled. "No worries. See you after classes for an afternoon session?"

"Yeah, ok. Only if it's no bother…?"

"No bother, Rose. It's nice to have another woman to train with," she assured me with a kind smile, heading across to dump her gym bag beside a table of Guardians, then getting into the food line. I walked over to my usual seat, dropping my bag beside Mason and Eddie.

"Hey! Long time no see," Mason said happily, giving me a smile. "How was your mock qualifier?"

"Yeah, you know... Four days of being told everything I'm doing wrong," I joked, trying to keep my voice light. "Anything happen here while I was away?" I asked, trying to deflect questions away from my weekend.

"Yeah! Blake called Alto a faggot not knowing he was standing behind him. Alto went nuts. Blake's in detention for a month!" Mason laughed. He disliked both Blake and Alto.

"So he should be. Someone's sexuality isn't something to joke around about."

"You reckon Alto might be gay?" Eddie asked, looking at me speculatively.

I shuddered. "I don't want to think about Alto having sex with anyone," I clarified, "male _or_ female. I just don't think it's cool calling someone gay as an insult. Like it's a bad thing."

"Hey! _I_ don't think being gay is horrible," Eddie defended. "I'd _love_ to witness a little girl-on-girl action with a couple of lesbians," he said grinning, giving Mason a nod and a wink. Mason laughed, giving Eddie a high five.

"You two need to grow up," I snapped, standing and walking over to the food line to pick up some breakfast. I wasn't hungry, but it gave me a moment or two to calm down. Picking up my usual chocolate doughnut I could almost hear Dimitri lecturing me about my diet, so I also picked up a tub of fruit salad. It was less than I'd usually have, but I'd probably struggle even to get that down. My stomach just seemed to be in knots.

Returning to the table, I was grateful to see Lissa and Christian had arrived. Eddie and Mason always toned it down in front of Lissa.

"Hey!" Lissa said jumping up and hugging me. "It seems like ages since I've seen you! How was your mock qualifier?"

"Yeah it was ok," I said, quickly chewing a piece of melon, so I had an excuse for not saying anything more. Knowing nothing about these things, she didn't press for details. "How was your weekend?"

"Not bad. I just worked out there're only two and a half weeks until Christmas!" she gushed, "and I haven't bought a thing!"

I mentally sighed. Christmas was a difficult time of year for Lissa. Her family had always made a big deal about it, and since they'd died, the onus had been on me to do likewise. But I just couldn't see how I'd find the will to celebrate this year. I wondered what Dimitri and I would have done for Christmas had he been here. He'd no doubt have been on duty, but I'd like to think he'd have found a spare moment for me. Perhaps we would have exchanged gifts, or found a bunch of mistletoe to stand beneath? He'd told me in Russia they celebrated Christmas in the first week of January, and that his mother made them attend _lots_ of Church services. He'd also described their Christmas feasts which were apparently huge, consisting of twelve courses.

"… so what do you think, Rose?" Lissa was looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Sorry – I blanked out there for a minute. What do I think about what?"

"About _shopping_? In Missoula!" she repeated in excitement. "I asked Principal Kirova, and she said I could go the weekend after next and do my Christmas shopping and get a dress for the Yule Ball. And as long as you keep out of trouble until then, you can come too!"

"That's great," I said, plastering what I hoped passed for an enthusiastic expression on my face. Christmas was seriously the last thing on my radar right now, but I'd try and appear excited for Lissa's sake. "Have you finished your shopping?" I asked Christian, hoping to deflect Lissa's attention elsewhere. "You know Lissa _loves_ Christmas, and this will be your first one together…"

Lissa turned to Christian, her eyes overflowing with love. And for the first time, when I looked at her I felt the sharp sting of jealousy. I'd never envied Lissa her family, her wealth, her social station or her freedom to do whatever she wanted to in life. But right now I was bitterly envious that she'd be able to spend Christmas openly celebrating with her man, while my secret love might be dead by then.

I stifled a sob, standing up and walking towards the ladies bathroom on the far side of the cafeteria. Retreating into the seclusion of a stall, I sat on the lid, balling toilet paper into my hand and pressing it into the corners of my eyes to try and stop myself crying. I sat there for as long as I dared, conscious that too long an absence might be noticed. Taking a few deep breaths, and reminding myself I needed to pull this off for Dimitri, I stood up and flushed, exiting the stall and washing my hands before returning to the table. Lissa and Christian were standing, about to leave to visit the feeders.

"I'll see you in fifth period," Lissa said, looking at me meaningfully. She obviously had something she wanted to discuss.

"Sure thing," I said, plastering a smile on my face. First period I had Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection with my arch nemesis, Stan Alto. Stan and I had a love-hate relationship. As in, we loved to hate one another. I was hoping he wouldn't be an ass today because I didn't know if I had it in me to cope with him on top of everything else. I could feel myself stretched tighter than a taut elastic band. The slightest provocation and I'd probably snap. And while I knew Alberta was feeling compassionate towards me, even she wouldn't be able to smooth it over if I punched Alto in the face.

"Come on," Mason said standing up from the table. "You know Alto will go apeshit if you're late after missing the last three classes…"

"But I was on a training exercise," I grumbled, wondering whether Alto knew the truth about where I'd been. I knew from Dimitri he was one of the ones aware of his reallocation, and he had walked in on me cuddled on Dimitri's lap in the gym before we left last week.

"Doesn't mean he'll be ok with it," Eddie chimed in, and secretly I agreed. Alto wasn't the sort to let a reasonable excuse stand in the way of punishing or belittling a student – and as his favorite student to humiliate, I could expect the sharp edge of his tongue.

Seriously wishing I'd stayed in bed, I shouldered my bag and picked up my doughnut, nibbling at it as I followed Mason and Eddie from the cafeteria. Walking through the corridors towards class, I had to stop myself taking a second glance at every Guardian uniform I saw. Sure no one else came even _close_ to the six-foot seven-inch stance of my lover, but I was so accustomed to keeping an eye out for Dimitri as I walked the halls, I constantly had to remind myself I wouldn't be seeing him.

Arriving at the door of Alto's classroom I congratulated myself on being early. Usually, I was at least five minutes late to Stan's classes, but today I swallowed the last of my breakfast and trailed Eddie and Mason in with a minute or two to spare.

As always, Stan was standing at the front of the room, ready to torment any student who arrived even a moment after the bell had ceased ringing. But today he was disappointed – every one of his class was seated and ready for him by the time the bell rang. Seeing him cast his eyes across the dispirited bunch that constituted his class, I waited for him to look at me and start his usual attack. And that's when I learned there was something even worse than earning Stan's ire. As his eyes briefly met mine, all I could see was his pity.


	10. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 10

I'd made it through to the weekend. As promised I'd worked out with Celeste on Wednesday afternoon, and by Friday our twice-daily workouts were a regular part of my new post-Dimitri schedule. It still felt like half of me was missing, but I was grateful to Celeste for stepping in and helping to fill my hours. I honestly didn't know how I would have made it through without her support. We didn't talk about Dimitri much, but she didn't avoid talking about him either. And it _was_ nice to spend time with someone who knew he was more to me than just a mentor, even if we hadn't discussed just how _much_ more he was to me.

It wasn't until Friday lunchtime that the first question about Dimitri's whereabouts had come.

"Hey, you've been working out with Matthews?" Eddie commented. "She's hot…"

"I'll tell her you think so, Castile. Maybe she has a thing for schoolboys," I said dryly, bracing myself for what I knew was about to come.

"So where's Belikov? I haven't seen him since you two went on your mock qualifier."

"He's on leave. Gone to visit his family in Russia," I said, shoving my mouth full of the fettuccini carbonara that was the best offering on Friday's lunch menu.

"That's not fair. First, you get mentored by the Russian God, and now you're working out with Matthews…" Eddie whined.

"What can I say? Some girls have all the luck," I mumbled morosely, Eddie not picking up on my tone.

I couldn't believe it had taken everyone else the better part of a week to notice that Dimitri wasn't around. I mean – the guy was a mountain; he wasn't exactly easy to miss. Although really I suppose it just showed how hyper-aware I'd always been when it came to his presence.

"His family are in St. Petersburg aren't they?" Lissa asked idly.

"No, they're outside of Omsk in a little town called Baia," I replied, trying to keep my tone impassive.

"Oh? That's near St. Petersburg, though, isn't it?"

"If you call two-thousand miles near," I said acerbically. I shouldn't take my frustrations out on Lissa. I'd known no better before I'd fallen in love with a man from Russia.

"Will he be there for Christmas?" she asked. "It would be nice for him to spend the holidays with his family."

"I'm not sure," I said quietly. "They don't celebrate Christmas in Russia until January anyway."

"Ahh yes – they use the Julian calendar…" Christian had started to explain to Lissa, trying to impress her, while I tuned out. Talking about Dimitri made me think about him, and I'd been trying my hardest to avoid that.

And now it was Saturday morning, and I was sitting in my room pondering what to do with myself. Lissa had plans with Christian, and Celeste had taken on an extra shift, so we weren't training together today. Her family was coming for a short visit between Christmas and New Years, so she was trying to work extra shifts before then so she could take time off to spend with them.

Looking around my room, there was plenty I could occupy myself with. I had some homework I should do, and I hadn't tackled any of the washing from Missoula, yet. Mine or Dimitri's. But just thinking about him brought it on again; the overwhelming feeling of emptiness. It wasn't so bad when I was busy – I could almost push the fear and loss away. But it was times like these, times when I was alone, that I felt it most.

Nights were honestly the worst. For as long as I could remember I'd slept alone. Even as a young child I couldn't recall ever falling asleep with another, the Academy, of course, being very proper about things like that. So I hadn't understood the peace of sleeping curled up next to another person, especially a person you loved. And while I'd only had four nights sleeping next to Dimitri, versus seventeen years without, every time I tried to sleep now my body craved the feeling of his strong manly arms around me. I yearned for the steady, comforting beat of his heart and the feel of his breath on my hair.

I knew I had to tackle the laundry because I was running out of things to wear. Half of me was wanting to rip Dimitri's clothes out of the hamper and bury myself in them, so that I could immerse myself in his ambrosial aroma. The other half dreaded even seeing his things because it would just bring everything to the forefront. So, ever the procrastinator, I decided to do my calculus homework before punishing myself with the laundry.

Yet even there my mind was brought back to Dimitri. I could hear his voice in my head going through the problems with me like he had a fortnight ago in the library, showing me how to figure out the solutions. It meant I got my homework done quickly - which was both a blessing and a curse.

Realizing I could put it off no longer, I decided to play some music and sort the washing hamper. I plugged my phone into the dock Lissa had given me when she upgraded to a better model, flicking through the directories until I found 'Comrade' - the songs from Dimitri's phone. There were various playlists; Weights Workout, Cardio Workout, 80s Driving, Country Driving, Sparring, Country Favorites and the like. But the one that drew my eye was one named Roza. I scrolled through the list of songs, unsurprised to see titles that looked like they were love songs. Not trusting myself to listen to those, I chose the 80s Driving playlist, grabbing the hamper and listening to a song about being hungry like a wolf.

I started by separating my clothing from Dimitri's stuff. There wasn't a huge amount of his things to wash. Some underwear, socks, a few shirts and pants and the workout gear he'd worn to our last workout. Lifting that from where I'd spilled it on my bed, I could smell him like he was standing next to me. The familiar scent of his aftershave and deodorant, with the masculine smell of his sweat, too. I brought the shirt up to my face, inhaling deeply closing my eyes and trying to imagine I was resting my face against his broad chest, the fingers of his large hands snaking their way into my hair. Shaking my head, I pulled his shirt away before I could douse it with tears. I found a clean paper shopping bag, shoving his workout gear in it. I folded it at the top to seal it, and without pondering my motivations in any way whatsoever, I shoved it into the bottom drawer in my cupboard. Then I bundled the rest of the washing back into my hamper and trudged down to the laundry at the bottom of the Novice dorms.

Unlike the Moroi dorms, which had a full laundry service for students, Novices had a dank laundry room on the ground floor. A small bank of washers and dryers serviced the entire building, so at times demand well and truly outstripped supply, particularly on the weekend.

As luck would have it, I was the first one there today, and there was even washing powder left, so I took full advantage – choosing side by side machines, loading one with pales, the other with colors. I wasn't known for being the most meticulous in the laundry, but I didn't think Dimitri would thank me if I ruined his clothes, so I took my time carefully emptying pockets and checking tags. I was standing in my own little world, holding a pair of Dimitri's boxers, fingers stroking where 'Belikov' was printed on the iron-on tag. Checkered blue cotton, I could still picture my man wearing these when he'd stripped down with me after we'd watched the sunrise. These were the boxers he'd taken off when we'd first made love.

Footsteps approaching the laundry shook me from my reverie, and throwing the last of his underwear in with the pales I loaded washing powder and started both machines, looking up in time to see Meredith enter the laundry room with her own hamper.

I hadn't seen Meredith alone since the shower incident on Tuesday morning. I'd seen her in classes, and she'd not said anything, and I was hoping she'd not say anything now. I had half a mind to escape upstairs in order to avoid her, but when the laundry got busy, Novices had a nasty way of pulling unguarded washing out of machines in order to use the latter themselves - and a load of garments, some with tags saying 'Belikov', dumped on the table would raise even more difficult questions.

"Hey Meredith," I greeted. "Got your Christmas shopping done?"

"Not yet," she grumbled. "I'm traveling home on Thursday week after next, so that will give me Friday or Saturday to get everything. I so don't want to be shopping on Christmas Eve, though. What about you?"

"I've not bought a thing," I admitted. Not that I had a lot of people to buy for. Eddie and Mason were both as poor as me, so we had a standing agreement not to get anything for one another. I couldn't see me buying anything for Christian so that just left Lissa. She was hard to buy for at the best of times, and funds were at an all-time low just now, but I'd come up with something, I hoped.

Thankfully Meredith didn't say a word about her suspicions of Dimitri and I showering together, and after we'd been chatting about twenty minutes, other Novices joined us in the laundry room, so the chat remained general. Still – I was careful to keep my body between her and the machines when I transferred my washing from the washers to the dryers. I ran the dryers through twice, in no hurry to finish up and return to my room.

When the dryers had done a second cycle, I discreetly pulled everything back into my hamper and wishing the other Novices a nice day I walked back up to my room.

Spilling the contents of the hamper back onto my bed I slowly folded and hung my clothing, neatly piling Dimitri's stuff and putting it to one side. I'd ask Alberta to let me into his room sometime so I could return it. It had only just gone midnight, yet everything I needed to do was done. I was lying on my bed, staring into space, thinking how more than anything I missed talking to Dimitri. He was always interested in hearing the small details of my day. The insignificant little happenings that wove together to form the patchwork of life.

I fired up the Academy issued laptop, checking my e-mails. There was nothing significant other than one from Alberta telling me my qualifier was scheduled for the 22nd December a five-hour drive away from campus. Again I wished Dimitri was here to tell. So I opened a new e-mail window, typing in my Russian God's address. I knew he wouldn't get it – Dimitri had been clear he'd have no access to technology once he left – and since he'd been reallocated our usually indolent IT may have had a fit of industry and shut down his account. But I needed to feel like I _could_ talk to him, and so I typed.

 _Dear Comrade,  
It's midnight Saturday – four days exactly since you left. Everything's the same here, but in other ways so different. Celeste has started training with me, so I'm still working out twice every day. I'm grateful because the days are long without you here and it's hard to fill them._

 _We would be working out today, too, but Celeste is doing an extra shift, so I've done my homework and then the washing. All your things are piled up ready to put back in your room. I'll get Alberta to let me in so I can return them._

 _Eddie was the first to ask where you were, so the story of you visiting Baia is now out. No one's questioned it._

 _My qualifier is scheduled for three days before Christmas. I'm not sure who'll be going with me. I might ask if Celeste can go. She kind of knows about us, so it's easy to hang out with her. She doesn't ask why I keep bursting into tears! I'm nervous about meeting Arthur Schoenberg. Even retired the guy is a badass. I almost wish you didn't warn me as now I'm stressing about that, too._

 _I have been missing you like crazy. Falling asleep without you is hard. I get out our photos and look at how happy we were together. I wonder where you are and what you're doing. Are you missing me, too? Is it hard for you to sleep as well? I spend my nights wondering and worrying. More than anything I wish you were here._

 _I want you, Dimitri. I'm dragging myself through the days, but nothing seems to hold my interest anymore. All I want is you._

 _I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me,  
Your Roza_

I pressed send – firing my words out into the ether. Even though he wasn't going to get them, in some way it helped to at least write how I was feeling. With another ten hours before I could reasonably climb into bed, I changed into workout gear. I'd go to the gym via the cafeteria. Celeste had shown me a new kick technique yesterday, so I might as well get it down pat before our Monday morning training session.

* * *

The second week without Dimitri passed much like the first. No one spoke much about him – my friends accepting the story of him being on leave without question, and those who knew the real story not wanting to bring up the sensitive issue.

My behavior during the week had been exemplary, mostly because Alto and I had reached an uncomfortable standoff. I'd attend classes mostly on time and without too much grumbling. He'd keep his snarky comments to a minimum and ignore the random times when tears welled in my eyes.

"What's going on?" Eddie asked at Friday lunch – a week after he'd first commented on Dimitri's absence. "You haven't been thrown out of Alto's class _once_ this week?"

"I've been trying to behave, so I'm allowed to go shopping in Missoula with Lissa," I lied. Eddie lifted his eyebrow, reminding me in that instant of my Russian God.

"Since when do you like shopping?" he asked skeptically.

"Since I'd do just about anything to get out of this shithole for a day and out into the human world, even if I have to spend it in a mall!" I responded.

I was saved by Lissa and Christian arriving at our table at that moment. Our shopping trip was on Lissa's mind, too - I could hear her outlining the various people she needed to buy for.

"Rose! Have you got your list ready?" she asked enthusiastically. "We'll be leaving at 8 am!"

"Um, no. I'm only buying for you," I admitted.

"But you have to get something for Christian," she demanded. "I know he'll be buying something for you." Christian and I stared at one another. I'm not sure which of us was less excited at the prospect of trading gifts. "And you should buy something for his Aunt Tasha. She's coming to spend Christmas at the school with us this year."

My head shot up. "Oh? I didn't know that?" I said, looking to Christian.

"Yeah. We haven't had a Christmas together in a few years. She said she wants to come spend my last one here at St. Vladimir's together, but I think she really wants to meet Lissa," he said, looking embarrassed.

"Come on, Rose. Let's get some food," Lissa said, almost dragging me by the arm up to the food line. Obediently I followed, noticing the troubled look on my best friend's face. "I'm so worried about meeting Christian's Aunt," she confided. "After what happened with his parents, she basically brought him up. It's like meeting my mother-in-law," she hissed. "I don't even know what she's like – Christian's never told me much about her."

I tried to remember the little Dimitri had said about her. It wasn't much, but I got the feeling she wasn't the stuffy type.

"I think she should be alright," I said soothingly. "I know she used to hang out with Dimitri's old charge Ivan Zeklos. They dated for a little while I think? He was pretty laid back so she should be too?" I mused.

"Oh! Hopefully, Guardian Belikov will get back while she's here then," Lissa said, brightening considerably. "It will help if she has someone her own age to talk with."

"Her own age?" I asked. From the little Christian had said about his family, Tasha had been twenty when his parents turned – so she'd have to be thirty-something now. "Isn't she in her thirties?"

"Thirty-two or thirty-three," Lissa supplied. "Maybe she knew Guardian Belikov and Lord Zeklos from school?" she pondered.

"I doubt it. Dimitri and Ivan were in the same year, and Dimitri only turned twenty-five a couple of weeks ago."

"Really?" Lissa said, surprised. "Are you sure? I always thought he was older than that."

"I think it's the height," I mumbled. That and the fact he rarely smiled when he was on duty. When he had his hair out and was being himself, he looked his age.

All this thinking about Dimitri was getting me down. I hated the casual way Lissa spoke about him, not realizing she was talking about the man I loved. The man who'd stolen my heart and taken it God knows where on a mission he was unlikely to return from. Turning away from her, I spun to look at the refrigerator with the pre-packaged sandwiches, blinking back tears I tried to look as though I was contemplating my selection. Reaching out and grabbing the first pack my hand encountered, I followed Lissa along the line.

"I'm sure you're right," Lissa said, still on the topic of Tasha. "She's probably really lovely, but I want to buy her the _perfect_ present. I'll need all your help!"

"Sure," I sighed, trying not to imagine walking around the same mall I'd wandered through hand in hand with Dimitri a fortnight ago. "How about I pump Christian for info on Tasha on the drive there?" I suggested helpfully.


	11. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 11

We were standing waiting for the van at 8 am. I was surprised to see Eddie and Mason standing there with Lissa, Christian, Perkins, Emil, and Alberta.

"Don't worry – I'm just here to see you off," Alberta laughed cheerfully. "Perkins, you're in charge. Hathaway, Ashford, and Castile? While you're not on duty, I'd like you to take this chance to observe the Guardians and see how they handle a group guarding situation. But have some fun, too" she added kindly.

Eddie and Mason looked elated. While Moroi got to go on semi-regular shopping trips and the like, getting out of the Academy was a rare opportunity for Novices. Unless you had family nearby to take you out on the weekend, trips off campus were few and far between.

"Rose? A minute?" Alberta said, drawing me over to one side away from the others. "I thought it might be easier with a few of your other friends there," she said, looking towards Mason and Eddie. "Now, shopping is no fun without a little spending money," she said, passing me five fifties.

"Alberta! I can't take your money," I gasped. "You work too hard to be giving your cash away to me!"

"Who said it's _mine_?" she chortled. "Did you know there's fifty dollars a week allocated in the Academy budget for buying flowers for the Moroi common rooms?"

"No…?" I replied, a little perplexed.

"Turns out neither does anyone else," Alberta said with mock innocence. Suddenly I had an idea where the small cash injections poor Dhampir students received from Alberta from time to time had come from. "Give Mason and Eddie a fifty each – keep the rest for yourself, and that's an order."

I was going to object, but an Academy van pulled up, and Celeste jumped out.

"Thought I'd pick up an extra shift with you guys," she called out buoyantly. "Come on, let's get this show on the road!" We were traveling during the daylight when the Moroi usually slept, so everyone was keen to get moving.

I gave Alberta a big hug. Her timely gift meant at least one problem was solved - I could now afford to buy Christmas presents. We piled into the van. Emil driving with Perkins beside him in the passenger seat. Lissa and Christian were in the second row, Celeste and I sat behind them with Mason and Eddie taking up the rear. With the uncertain weather, it would be two and a half hours to Missoula, so lots of time for talking.

"Thanks for getting Alberta to include us," Mason said, a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah thanks, Rose," Eddie agreed, "we owe you!"

Alberta must have told them I'd petitioned for them to be included in the trip. I felt shitty at that. I hadn't thought to ask if they could come too, but I should have.

"The more the merrier," I said noncommittally, not wanting to take the praise for Alberta's thoughtfulness.

Lissa was so excited to be leaving the Academy. She and Christian were sitting cuddled up to one another, holding hands and occasionally kissing. Lissa was talking about her favorite topic – Christmas. While Christian wasn't looking quite as enthralled as she was, I could tell he was making an effort to appear excited for her benefit.

"So Christian, when's your Aunt coming?" I asked during a break in their conversation.

"I'm not entirely sure; she just said a few days before Christmas. She's planning to stay a few weeks, though."

"That's cool. What's she like?"

"Why the sudden curiosity, Rosie?" he asked sarcastically. "You've never shown any interest in her before."

"Well, none of your family ever have visited, have they? Besides Lissa said I have to buy her a Christmas present. I thought it would be nice to know a bit about her otherwise it's going to be a soap and talcum powder set," I snapped.

"Christian… be nice," Lissa warned before giving me a look that said she knew I was only doing this for her benefit, and that she appreciated it.

"Well… she's thirty-two, and she lives mostly in the human world. She teaches martial arts classes to humans in Minnesota."

"That's pretty cool," I said, impressed. "Most Moroi don't learn to physically defend themselves, especially royals."

"Yeah well after what happened with my parents, you know…" Christian trailed off. I knew from Lissa he didn't like to discuss that.

"So do you have any other family there? Does she have a husband or a boyfriend?" I asked quickly, not wanting him to dwell on what must be awful memories.

"No. That's one of the reasons she chose Minnesota. None of the Ozeras live anywhere nearby. Like I said, she pretty much lives in the human world. She doesn't even have a Guardian," he explained.

"Oh? I thought all royals got at least one?"

"Not if your brother and sister-in-law willingly became Strigoi," he joked mirthlessly.

"Yeah right… So what's she into? Music? Fashion? Books? Come on – I have to buy her _something_ …" I whined, seeing Lissa's exasperated look.

"Um… She works out a lot, so maybe training things?" he suggested. "You're studying to be a Guardian. Get her something you'd like."

Celeste snorted, joining the conversation for the first time.

"Ozera, trust me on this - _no_ woman, Guardian or not, wants to get training stuff for Christmas." I nodded in agreement.

"Shit. I was going to get her some workout pants," he mumbled to himself. "So what _do_ women want as a gift?" he asked.

"Perfume," Lissa suggested.

"A massage voucher?" Celeste volunteered.

I grabbed my garnet necklace and said, "Jewelry," quietly.

"I've meant to ask – where did you get that necklace from, Rose? I've never seen it before," Lissa questioned, reaching over the back of her seat to look at it.

I glanced at Celeste in panic. I had no idea who I could suggest had given it to me, and Lissa knew I had no money or opportunity to buy something like that for myself.

"I gave it to her," Celeste lied deftly, correctly interpreting my alarmed look. "Some loser I dated gave it to me years ago, and I could never bring myself to wear it without thinking of him. I found it in my gym bag and was going to throw it out, but Rose thought it was pretty so I gave it to her."

I shot Celeste a look of thanks.

"That's kind of you, Guardian Matthews. It's very pretty," Lissa complimented.

"Yeah. I absolutely love it," I said honestly, stroking the pendant with my fingers and remembering the reverent kisses Dimitri had given it during those last few hours together as it was nestled between my breasts. I shivered, and picking up on my unease, Celeste again stepped in.

"So Princess Dragomir, have you got a list of shops you want to visit today? I thought we could split up? Yourself, Rose and I could go with Castile and Ashford to shop, and Lord Ozera could do his shopping with Emil and Perkins?"

"Ugh… do we have to go with the girls?" Eddie groaned, "You'll be looking at dress stores and makeup."

"Yeah – and we'll probably be going to lingerie shops, too," I quipped. "You know, all the places filled with young _women!_ "

Mason nudged Eddie with his elbow. "Yeah – we'll go with the girls," he agreed eagerly.

I smiled to myself, feeling a little sorry for the guys. They got a raw deal. Female Moroi at school might like to _look_ at buff, sexy male Novices – but as a rule, they only _dated_ Moroi guys. And with only a handful of female Novices, it was understandable that two young Dhampir men wouldn't object to a little flirting with human girls where their tall, muscled, well-built physiques would draw them lots of admiring glances.

Lissa fell asleep on Christian's shoulder as I was chatting with Celeste. I mentioned my email from Alberta with the date for my qualifier, and her raised eyebrows told me she already knew who I'd be meeting with.

"If you're still trying to pick up shifts, feel free to come with me on that one," I said, trying to subtly let her know I could use the support. I didn't want to pressure her as she'd already done so much for me, but other than Alberta, Celeste was really the only one I felt I could be myself around at the moment. "I'm not sure where it is other than it's a five-hour drive and then the qualifier will probably take all day. So it will be a double shift including an overnight stay."

"Yeah – I'd _love_ to be the one to take you if there's no one else you've got in mind?" Celeste said, giving me an understanding look.

"Nope. Since you're keen, I'll ask Alberta. I'm a bit nervous… I'd appreciate the company," I admitted. Celeste nodded, grabbing my hand and giving it a light squeeze where no one else could see. She knew had things been different Dimitri would have been the one to take me.

Once Christian was sure Lissa was asleep, he suddenly got a lot friendlier. It turned out he was stuck for ideas for Lissa's Christmas present, too. Eddie and Mason made stupid suggestions from the back seat, while Celeste and I considered the issue. He said he wanted something super romantic, so in the end, we both suggested jewelry.

"Will there even be a jewelry shop at the Mall?" he sighed.

"Yeah – there's like four or five," I commented without thinking.

"How would you know?" Eddie asked curiously. I mentally cursed myself. Eddie was a _lot_ sharper than I gave him credit for.

"Best friend of Lissa," I joked wryly, pointing to myself. "I think she's memorized the store layout of every mall within a five-hour radius. Her mom used to take us shopping quite a bit before the accident."

Eddie accepted that, as did Christian. After that, I sat in silence looking out the window. Heading back to Missoula was hard. There was only one main mall. The one where Dimitri and I had shopped. It was going to hurt like hell going back there without him. But then _everything_ hurt like hell these days.

Eventually, we were approaching the outskirts of Missoula. I looked around, seeing the stadium Dimitri and I had visited for the ice-hockey game. A little closer in, the Country and Western bar. I actually held it together until we were close to the center of town and we passed the motel we'd stayed at. It was on the opposite side of the van to where I was sitting, and I couldn't drag my eyes from it. Knowing if I said anything I'd cry, I just closed my eyes.

I'd got it together by the time we got to the mall, and Lissa wanted to start by finding dresses for the Yule Ball to be held on Christmas Eve, so we were down the other end from where Dimitri and I had shopped. I had no intention of going to the Yule Ball, but Lissa had other ideas. Eddie and Mason were looking bored, so I took the opportunity to give them each their fifty, and we arranged to meet again in an hour. After trying on what seemed like a hundred dresses, Lissa decided on a white fur-trimmed chiffon dress. It looked like nothing on the rack, but on her tall, slim figure, it was stunning. With her pale hair and skin, she looked just like a snow queen. Perfect for a Yule Ball.

Lisa insisted I needed something too, so I complied – letting her buy me a long red dress and matching shoes as an early Christmas present. I really couldn't be bothered with the dance, but once she had her heart set on something it was easier to give in than argue. On the way out of the ladies wear department, I spotted an ice-blue scarf. It had been heavily marked down, so I got it for a steal.

"Who's that for?" Lissa asked curiously.

"I thought for Christian's Aunt?" I said, pleased with my decision. "He said she has the same colorings as him, so it will match her eyes nicely."

"I wish _I'd_ thought of that," Lissa groaned. "I still have no idea what to buy her!"

After we met up with Eddie and Mason, we headed to Victoria's Secret. Lissa had lost her virginity to Aaron before we left the Academy to live in the human world, but now we were back, and things were regularly getting hot and heavy with Christian, she wanted to stock up on some more sexy underwear. I went around the shop choosing pretty sets for her to try on, idly wondering what I might have bought for Dimitri's enjoyment had he still been here. He'd liked my deep red lace bra, but I'd never had the time to find out if it was the color or the lace that he'd been attracted to. I guess buying sexy underwear to thrill my lover was another thing I could cross off the 'list of things to look forward to' list I thought sadly.

Looking out the front of the store I could see Mason and Eddie chatting with a couple of girls. Even if neither of them was into the shopping, it looked as though they were having a good time. I was glad. They were nice guys.

After that Celeste wanted to go to a toy store to buy presents for her little sister who would be visiting with her parents after Christmas, and then we met up at the food court with the others. Christian looked satisfied, carrying a bundle of packages. I'd finished my shopping; the scarf for Tasha, pajamas for Christian with 'Baby Let Me Light Your Fire' on the shirt and flames on the matching boxers plus a gorgeous wooden jewelry box for Lissa. I'd also bought Alberta some nice bath gel and a scented candle for Celeste. Lissa was panicking – she'd bought for everyone on her list except Tasha.

"What if I got her some nice earrings?" she suggested. "Are her ears pierced, Christian?"

"Yeah I think so," he murmured, his mouth wrapped around a burrito. Eddie and Mason were similarly occupied, so Celeste suggested we leave the guys to eat while we went to the jewelers to see if we could find anything suitable. The first shop we found was the one Dimitri and I had visited when he'd insisted on buying me something. It was the same shop attendant, too, but she didn't seem to remember me. Lissa asked to see all their earrings with blue stones and ended up paying a small fortune for some sapphire drop earrings that were very pretty.

I sighed in relief. It was 2 pm, and I'd been up since 5.30 pm the day before, so I was looking forward to getting back to the van and the Academy. Lissa and Christian were asleep almost as soon as we got into the van, Eddie and Mason chatted with Celeste and me for the first hour before they, too, drifted off.

Back at the Academy, we said our goodbyes, each heading to our own rooms. I'd been awake for almost twenty-four hours but had hit my second wind so I didn't think sleep would be immediately forthcoming. The whole trip I'd been running on adrenaline, trying to push Dimitri and our trip to Missoula from my mind. It had only been eleven days since we returned, but it felt like months. I fired up my laptop.

 _Comrade,  
I was in Missoula again today. Lissa wanted to do some Christmas shopping, so it ended up being Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mason and me with Emil, Perkins, and Celeste. I'm so broke it's not funny, but Alberta gave me some money so I could get my Christmas shopping done._

 _Lissa is worried because Christian's Aunt Tasha is coming to visit the Academy for Christmas and the New Year. She said it's the equivalent of meeting her mother-in-law, so she's stressed about it. She dragged me around the mall for ages choosing Christmas presents and our dresses for the Yule Ball. I honestly don't even want to go, but if I don't, it will make Lissa suspicious. I know I'm going to spend the whole night in the corner wishing you were there. Even though if you were we wouldn't be able to dance together, just knowing you were there would make the night perfect for me._

 _It was strange at the mall. Were there Christmas decorations up when we were there? And Christmas music? I don't remember them, but we were there in December so there must have been. I think I was so focused on you I didn't notice much else. Lissa bought something at the jewelry store we visited – that first one. The same shop assistant was on, but she didn't remember me._

 _Everywhere I looked were reminders of you. We passed the bar where we played pool, the motel where we stayed and the stadium we went to the ice-hockey game. And the whole time I just wished you were there - that it was us there together again._

 _I'm still having trouble sleeping. I keep imagining where you are and what you're doing. I've been sleeping in your sweatshirt, and that helps a little. But I miss you, Comrade. I miss the feel of your body lying against me. I miss the sound of your voice. When I sleep I dream about us being together, and I don't want to wake up because I know when I do you won't be here._

 _I'm so unhappy all the time, and then I feel bad because what I'm going through is nothing compared to what you must be facing. So I try and be strong for you, but it's hard when I just want you here so badly._

 _I'm going to try and sleep now. I hope I dream of you._

 _I love you endlessly,  
Roza_

Pressing send I closed the computer, getting undressed and putting on Dimitri's shirt. Even though it was approaching the start of the Moroi day, I was going to try and sleep.

I pulled the packet of photos to me, flicking through them one by one. And as always within seconds the tears were flowing. With a sob I reached into the bag I'd taken to Missoula, pulling out the only thing I'd bought myself there besides lunch – poster putty. I spread all the photos out on my table, choosing my favorite ones of Dimitri. Then I lay on my side on my bed, sticking my favorite photo sideways on the wall – so when I lay on my side in bed, I could look straight at my Russian God's handsome face. I stuck other photos surrounding the first until half my wall was covered with photos of Dimitri and me, plus pictures of our time in Missoula.

Then I put my phone onto the music dock, found Dimitri's 'Roza' playlist, and climbed into bed. The first song kicked in, and as I gazed lovingly at Dimitri's face I heard Michael Bolton croon, 'When a Man Loves a Woman.'


	12. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 12

_Morning Comrade,_

 _Actually, maybe it's not morning where you are? Not that you'll read this anyway. It's Wednesday 6 pm, and I'm waiting for Celeste to arrive. We're headed to my Qualifier today. I found I'm going to see Guardian Schoenberg at the Badica's house outside Billings. It's a five-hour drive there, so we're leaving early and should be there about midnight. I'm to spend the day doing my Qualifier and then Celeste and I have been invited to spend the night at the Badica's and head back Thursday._

 _I'm nervous about the Qualifier but also about staying over at the Badica's. I'm hoping there's like a separate Guardian area or something and they won't even know we're there because it doesn't seem likely for a royal Moroi family to invite a Guardian and a Novice to stay?_

 _I'll be missing a few days classes, but it's probably just as well. I haven't been sleeping well at night, so I've been sleepy during the day. Yesterday I fell asleep in Stan's class. He went off his head and bitched me out so I told him to fuck himself and he kicked me out of class. He did me a favor because I went back to my room and slept for two hours and felt heaps better._

 _Nothing else is happening here. Celeste and I train and I go to class. It seems like I hardly see Lissa these days. She's spending a lot of time with Christian. Hopefully, I'll see a bit more of her after classes finish for the year on Friday._

 _I dreamed of you last night. We were in a flat somewhere. Our flat where we lived together. In my dream, we woke up and you made me breakfast and then we made love. It felt so real that I really thought I'd open my eyes and be beside you, but of course, I wasn't.  
_

 _Where are you, Comrade? Are you still safe? I wonder about the others you're with. Do you talk with them, or are you keeping to yourself? Do you know anyone there? I hate to think of you being all alone, but then you can be surrounded by people you've known all your life and still be horribly lonely. Trust me, I know._

 _I'll email you again after my Qualifier. Hopefully, I'll pass so I can do my field experience in the New Year. Who knows – you might be back by then! With you gone it feels like a part of me is missing. Keep safe and know that you are so very very loved._

 _Always your,  
Roza_

I'd just pressed send when I heard a beep from downstairs. I looked out the window and saw Celeste waving an arm out the window of an Academy SUV. Shouldering my duffel bag, I bounded down the stairs and into the warmth of the car.

"Hey – you ready for this?" she asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I groaned.

"You alright? You look tired."

"Yeah. Just having trouble sleeping. Too much on my mind, I guess. And when I do fall asleep I've been having really wicked dreams…"

"Wicked _good_ dreams?" Celeste said giving me a naughty look.

"Yeah well one of them was," I said with a guilty smile. It had been awesome! It had been Dimitri and me in bed and boy did I wake up smiling…

"Most of them I can't remember properly other than they're very bright. It's just annoying because I'm tired but can't get to sleep and when I do I have these full on dreams and then the next day I'm exhausted and falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I think it's from changing human to Moroi times. My body clock is still all stuffed up."

Celeste nodded. "You get used to it after a while, not that I've had to change times for a while. If it's just one day, I usually stay awake and work through."

"So have you done enough extra shifts to take the days off while your family is here?"

"Yeah – all but one day. Alberta knew I was hoping to take the whole time off, so she said I could owe her one. I'll pick up another extra shift once they've gone home."

"That's nice of her," I said. Alberta was an amazing Guardian but also a kind person. She looked out for the Novices and Guardians in her care

"Yeah, it is. I try to save my annual leave and visit my family for two weeks every June, so I'd rather pick up extra shifts where I can to get time off when they visit here."

Celeste and I wouldn't be training while her family visited. I was a bit bummed about it but completely understood. Plus I was hoping maybe Christian's Aunt might want to train with me while she was visiting. She'd known Dimitri for a long time, so I was hoping to find out more dirt on my man.

Sigh. Dimitri.

I thought time was meant to make feelings fade, but that sure as hell wasn't happening. If anything, the longing was getting worse. After the trip to Missoula with Lissa and Christian, I'd been desperate to hear his voice. On a hunch, I'd dialed his number. I knew it wouldn't be answered, but I'd hoped he might have voicemail set up. He did, so I rang over and over again to hear his soulful voice say ' _You've reached Dimitri Belikov. Please leave a message.'_

Opening my eyes, I pulled myself back to the present. Celeste had done a kind thing offering to be the one to come with me to my Qualifier. The least I could do is try to make sure she didn't regret it.

Five hours was a long time to drive, so we spent the time chatting. Celeste told me all about her family. It turns out her Moroi Dad and Dhampir Mom were still together. They'd been together since high school, her Mom remaining his mistress when he'd entered into a semi-arranged marriage with another Moroi royal. Celeste was twenty-eight and had two younger Moroi half-siblings from her Dad's marriage. When her Dad divorced some ten years ago, he moved in with her Mom, and eight years ago they had her sister Stella.

"Dad and I get along well but we're not super close," she admitted. "I mean he was around when I was growing up, but always as a visitor, not a full-time parent. By the time he'd divorced and moved in with Mom, I'd all but graduated. Still, it's nice we're developing something of a relationship now, and he's a wonderful father to my little sister Stella," she said sounding a little wistful. "What about your family?"

"Not much to know there. Mom dropped me at the Academy when I was four. I've seen her a handful of times since. I haven't seen her since just before I was fifteen. I don't know anything at all about my father." I paused while I thought about that. "I've always kind of hoped he'd look me up one day." I shrugged. I didn't even know if he knew about me.

We stopped for breakfast at a Burger King. "God I miss junk food," I moaned into my burger.

Celeste chuckled. "Yeah, I miss it, too. Every time I know a Guardian's going into Missoula I get them to pick me up a burger and a Krispy Kreme."

" _One_ Krispy Kreme?" I asked, shocked.

She shot me a sideways look. "No – a _BOX_!" she clarified and we both cracked up. I was actually laughing so hard I was nearly crying. And then I _did_ start crying because I realized it was the first time I'd really laughed since he went away.

"He'd want you to be happy," Celeste said, knowing without asking what was going on and passing me a napkin from the fast food bag.

"I know. That's pretty the last thing he said to me," I admitted. "It's just so hard when it feels like half of me is missing."

I didn't say anything more. In fact, I'd probably already said too much. Celeste knew Dimitri and I were more than mentor and student, but I wasn't sure if she knew just _how far_ beyond that we'd strayed.

We listened to the radio, thankfully not 80s or Country, Celeste told me some amusing gossip from around campus, and I filled her in on some of the Novice happenings.

"You're not seeing anyone?" I asked shyly.

"No," she said casually, but I could see her knuckles go white where she gripped the steering wheel. "There was a guy… But he did a real number on me. I haven't wanted to go there again since. I have a bit of fun from time to time, but nothing serious."

"I'm sorry," I said, and I was. I wished I hadn't asked, now.

"It's ok. It was a long time ago now, and I got through it. Just not keen to go a second round, you know?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I do."

We stopped to get petrol and use the restrooms and Celeste checked directions. We were getting close to our destination and I was starting to get nervous.

"We've made good time. They're not expecting us until midnight but we should be there about 11.30," Celeste commented. "Do you think it will be ok to arrive early?"

Obviously, I wasn't the only nervous one. Actually nervous was an understatement to describe how I felt. I was completely shitting myself. I know Qualifiers were meant to be a chat about being a Guardian and what it took and our attitudes, but surely that could have been done over the phone? Eddie and Mason had said theirs took about an hour with a panel of Guardians – but Alberta said mine would take quite a few hours and would only be with Guardian Schoenberg. Oh man, I hope he didn't want to spar with me. The man was a freaking God. I could feel my hamburger rolling around uncomfortably in my stomach and wished I had decided on something a little less greasy.

"It's a long drive so they'll probably expect our arrival could be a bit variable," I assured her.

And before I knew it we were driving through a set of ornate gates and up a long windy driveway. Stopping in front of a large stone house my stomach was churning and it was all I could do not to throw up. I honestly felt queasy as hell. There were no lights on inside or out but it wasn't snowing just now, and the moon was out, so even though it was behind a cloud, we had some light to see by. It was quiet. Too quiet.

"Celeste? Is there a spare stake in the car," I asked very softly remembering how queasy I'd felt just before I'd encountered Strigoi Natalie. Celeste looked at me alarmed, pointing to the glove box. I opened it and noticed two stakes. I grabbed both. "Do you have a second?"

She nodded. "Do you think there's a problem?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's part of my Qualifier, but I have a bad feeling. You're the senior – what do we do?"

"Call it into the nearest Guardian stronghold as a precaution then investigate," she said decisively. "Keep a good watch," she ordered, grabbing her phone out of the cradle so it wouldn't go through the car Bluetooth system. She made a quick call whispering the required information and agreed that if she didn't call back within twenty minutes backup would be sent.

Phonecall done, Celeste ran through instructions on how we'd handle this. Basically, we'd try and stay together and I was to obey any of her orders instantly and without question.

Silently exciting the car my stomach kept lurching, waves of nausea passing through me, but I ignored them. We were almost at the front door when a cloud passed from in front of the moon and we could see the front door hanging from its hinges. We stopped to look at one another and we heard a scream from inside.

Not stopping to contemplate, Celeste ran inside towards the now unmistakable sound of fighting. We found ourselves in a large room filled with comfortable couches and a roaring fire. It was also filled with Strigoi, or so it seemed.

They looked older and scarier than Natalie had. Yet in the back of my head, I heard Dimitri's voice telling me not to hesitate, and so I didn't. I had a stake in the heart of one from behind before they were even aware of our presence, Celeste managing to do likewise. On the other side of the room, Guardian Schoenberg was fighting one Strigoi as nine others circled waiting for their chance. Well. Seven now thanks to Celeste and me.

Now aware of our presence, several broke away to face us. Using my panic as fuel the way Dimitri had taught me, I engaged with the closest. He had been Dhampir and was fast – nothing had prepared me for just _how_ fast – but at the same time he was sloppy; obviously used to relying on his speed to the detriment of maintaining his skills. After being the recipient of several almost bone-crushing hits, I was able to sneak in under his defenses. And with the not insignificant speed of my own, I downed my second Strigoi, sliding the stake cleanly into his malevolent heart.

Kicking his body away, I turned to face another opponent. I could see Guardian Schoenberg had succeeded in getting a couple down and Celeste staked her second just as I engaged with my third.

This one had been human before she'd been turned, so while she had Strigoi speed and strength, she lacked the understanding of how to best protect herself from a Guardian. It was almost as though she'd never fought a Guardian, well ok – _an almost_ Guardian – before. Maybe she hadn't? In any case, I used the fact she was mostly focussed on defending her upper body to kick the side of her knee, causing the bone to shatter and her to tumble. As she fell, I straddled her, sliding my stake between her ribs and up into her heart.

Three for three! I was on a roll!

There were three left when I heard an order barked at me.

"Hathaway! Get upstairs. The panic room is in the Master Bedroom, straight ahead at the end of the corridor, entry via the French armoire. They won't let you in, but use the radio there to ID yourself and check if everyone is in there. There should be six – three children, three adults."

I nodded, leaving Celeste and Guardian Schoenberg to finish off what was hopefully the last of the Strigoi as I carefully crept up the stairs. Everything seemed quiet and undisturbed, but I was still wary. Making my way to the Master bedroom, I found the big cupboard I thought was an armoire and opened the door. Yep. Panic room. I picked up the radio handset next to the solid steel door, clearing my throat before introducing myself and asking for confirmation that the entire Moroi family had made it within.

A distressed man's voice replied almost instantly saying all but their three-year-old son was inside. In the background, I could hear a woman's distressed pleas for me to find him.

"Please remain calm. I'll search for Lord Badica now. If you have a phone or cell phone, please call through to your closest Guardian stronghold and let them know it's a confirmed attack with at least ten Strigoi, two Guardians, and one Novice." I instructed before closing the door to the cupboard and creeping back along the hallway looking for the kids' bedrooms. I was standing in a doorway when I saw the handle on the door opposite me turn. I slipped into the room and behind the door, peeping through the crack in the door jamb to see a Strigoi exit the room and head to the next.

Shit! I hoped he was the only one up here; else I was screwed!

I was pondering whether to wait for him to find me or to go after him when I heard the tiniest noise behind me. Turning, I saw a little boy hiding in the drapes on the other side of the room looking at me with huge scared eyes. At least I'd found the boy before the Strigoi had. I held my finger up to my lips, lifting my stake and showing it to him. I didn't have a promise mark, otherwise I would have pointed to that, but hopefully my tentative smile and my stake would reassure him enough not to scream and give our position away.

I turned back to the doorway and only just in time. The door opened and standing there was the Strigoi I'd seen leaving the room opposite. He looked at me and smiled.

"And what do we have here? Appetizer and main course?"

Damn! He'd spotted the kid. He'd want to feed on Moroi blood as quickly as possible, so he'd be stronger or gone by the time the inevitable Guardian reinforcements arrived. Which meant he'd want to dispose of me as quickly as possible.

"And aren't you just the charmer," I said facetiously. "It's been a while since a guy's told me I look good enough to eat…"

He stepped forward a little eying me up and down. He'd been Moroi before he'd turned and like a lot of Moroi men, he found my curves appealing.

"You do look good enough to eat, my dear," he said with an oddly formal speech. Either English was not his first language, or he spoke an older English than I was used to. Hopefully the former because if it was the latter, then he must be really old which also meant really strong. "However I'm afraid I don't have the time today to savor you as I'd like. Besides as good as you taste, your little friend there will taste better…"

But he never had a chance to find out, because he crumpled at my feet – staked from behind by Guardian Schoenberg.

"Lance this is Novice Hathaway – she's a friend of mine," Guardian Schoenberg said addressing the child hiding behind the curtains. "I need you to go with her into your parents' bedroom and wait for me there. You need to do whatever she says," he ordered in a firm but friendly tone.

"Yes Uncle Artie," the lad lisped, coming out from behind the curtain and taking my hand.

"Hathaway I think we're clear. Take the boy to the panic room and let him speak through the radio with his parents – they'll be very worried. Stay on guard and tell them to remain where they are until backup arrives. Matthews and I are doing a thorough sweep."

"Yes sir," I said, obeying his order immediately and without question. Leading the child to the Master bedroom, I went back to the armoire and again used the radio to communicate with those within.

"Novice Hathaway reporting. Have located the child and he is safe here now. Guardians Schoenberg and Matthews believe the situation is contained but advise you to stay in the panic room until backup arrives. I will stay on guard with the child."

I looked down at the little boy who was still looking frightened.

"Sweetheart, you can talk to Momma through this. Tell Momma you're ok – she's very worried."

It took a bit of managing but we timed it so they could talk back and forth. It seemed like I was standing there for hours, but it was probably only ten minutes later when Guardian Schoenberg appeared along with a bunch of Guardians I didn't know.

"Stand down Novice Hathaway," he said kindly before picking up Lance from where he stood beside me, grabbing the radio and giving the all clear to the family within the panic room.

They emerged a few moments later, clearly distressed.

"Hathaway, please join the Guardians downstairs in the main room. You will need to identify your kills, and then you can observe the cleanup." I nodded, waving goodbye to the little boy who was cuddled in his weeping mother's arms, walking down the corridor and to the room downstairs.

Two of the Guardians, Merson, and Rodriguez introduced themselves and ran me through the ID and cleanup, occasionally asking me my opinion or a question. It was all fairly textbook, so if this was to form part of my assessment, I was pretty confident I was doing ok. We were wrapping up when Celeste came in, coming straight over and without preamble hugging me.

"How are you feeling?"

I looked at her. Yeah – I'd just killed my first three Strigoi. I hadn't even stopped to think about it, yet.

"Ok, I guess? I'm sure it's going to hit me later."

"Probably," she agreed. "But you did a magnificent job. There aren't a lot of Novices who could pull that off, particularly after missing two years of training. He'd be very very proud of you." She whispered the last part so only I could hear it.

Yes. He would be.

Once the main room had been returned to rights as much as possible, the bulk of the Guardians retired to the kitchen. I was sitting there with Celeste when Guardian Schoenberg came in. He spoke with some of the Guardians there making arrangements. The family were worried about the attack and were preparing to leave for court at first light. Everything with the family and the Guardians arranged, he poured himself a coffee and came over to where Celeste and I were sitting.

"Now may I formally introduce myself? I'm Arthur Schoenberg and the assessor for your Qualifier today," he said wryly, holding out his hand.

"Rose Hathaway," I said shaking his hand.

"Belikov was right about you," he said. "When he rang me and asked me to do your Qualifier I told him I couldn't be bothered dealing with Novices. But he told me you were exceptional and that I'd kick myself if I passed up the opportunity. Not that I was expecting to get a chance to see you in action," he said raising his eyebrows. "I've been a Guardian a long time, and I've never seen a Novice pull off anything like you did tonight. If you two hadn't been here, the outcome would have been very different. Congratulations – you've passed your Qualifier and I'll be writing you a glowing letter of recommendation."

"Thank you. He's an amazing mentor," I said smiling softly, dropping my eyes to the counter and trying to stop myself crying.

"Yes. It looks as though he is. I'll be sure to make sure Belikov knows how well you did tonight," he said kindly. "The two of you are close, aren't you?" he asked curiously. Something about the way he said it made me wonder whether he suspected.

"Yeah, we are. He's on leave at the moment," I said sadly, sticking to the party line. "Visiting his family, I think."

"Rose? I know where Belikov is and the circumstances involving his leave," Schoenberg said confirming what I already suspected. "We're concerned tonight was not a random attack and I need to communicate that information to the Guardian in charge where he is. Is there any message you'd like me to pass on to Guardian Belikov?"

I stopped to think. I couldn't send a love message to him, much as I wanted to. So instead I said, "Could you tell him Roza is missing him like crazy?"

"Roza?"

"It's my name in Russian. It's his nickname for me and I call him Comrade," I said, my voice quivering infinitesimally. I hoped hearing me refer to myself as Roza would let my Russian God know the message I was _wanting_ to send. That I loved him. That I wanted him. That I was his.

"Right then. Can you and Matthews follow me to my office?" Schoenberg ordered standing up. "I'll just make that call and then sign off on your paperwork," he said, suddenly all business again.


	13. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 13

I was sitting on my cot bed playing solitaire. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but with less than two feet between each bed, there really wasn't anywhere else to sit. Around me were around forty men, talking, resting and arguing. The others must be showering training or cooking. One of the guys had had the forethought to bring along a dozen packs of cards and a miniature chess set. Talk about a way to make yourself popular. With not a lot else to do, and only limited opportunities to train and spar, these small diversions prevented a good deal of acrimony and fights.

Two weeks staying in a chilly, cramped, dilapidated Church with only the most rudimentary of plumbing and kitchen amenities was enough to drive any man crazy, let alone sixty men used to lots of exercise. It didn't help that we all knew we were here on a one-way trip, so tensions were understandably already running high. We didn't know how long we'd be staying here before we were finally deployed into what would undoubtedly be our final battle, so we'd quickly sorted out a roster – evenly distributing cooking, sanitary and training times to make the best use of the extremely limited facilities. But still, there were numerous falling outs and punch-ups. Every man was on edge, and it made for uncomfortable quarters for all concerned.

I was luckier than most. We were stationed outside Novosibirsk – so I was used to the frigid weather and could speak the language. And despite the circumstances, I enjoyed being back in my home country. We were trying to remain inconspicuous, but sixty Guardians ate a _lot_ of food - so as a native speaker, and one raised far enough away that I was unlikely to run into anyone I knew - I was one of those sent to nearby farmers' markets with a truck to buy necessary supplies – no easy feat in a Siberian winter. We couldn't afford to attract attention by going to the same places too often, so myself and a couple of others would drive to different areas, scouring the city surrounds to buy the meat, fruit, and vegetables we needed. Boring - but a welcome relief from the claustrophobic confines of the Church, even though with every trip I was tempted to disobey orders and try to contact Rose.

Rose. The person who occupied my every waking thought and, apparently, my sleeping ones, too. Two days in, the other men already wanted to know who 'Roza' was. Apparently, my traitorous lips had spilled her name in my sleep. I endured their jibes but said nothing. She was so very precious to me; I wouldn't have her cheapened via discussion with men whose only interest in her was as a momentary distraction.

So I kept to myself, talking occasionally with a few men I knew from St. Basil's – training fiercely during my allocated hours each day, helping get our supplies and basically twenty-four seven thinking about the woman I loved. Which is what I was doing now as I idly played solitaire.

"Belikov?" our commander Guardian Saunders said, walking through the slim pathway between narrow military cots in the Church. "Your student's passed her Qualifier. Killed three Strigoi as well. Schoenberg wants to speak with you," he said, holding out a cell phone to me.

Every eye in the Church was watching me, and my heart was pounding so hard it was nearly leaping out of my chest. "Belikov," I said, the phone against my ear.

"Dimitri," Art greeted me. "You were right. She's phenomenal. She and Guardian Matthews arrived a couple of minutes into a major Strigoi attack here at the Badica's. There were eleven, and she took down three completely unaided, and I have no doubt she would have taken more if I hadn't directed her to another part of the house. I've passed her for her Qualifier and will write a glowing reference. That girl has big things ahead of her. They're just waiting for sun-up, and they'll head back to the Academy."

"She's _there_?" I gasped trying to keep my voice down to afford myself a modicum of privacy. "Did you tell her you'd be speaking with me? Did she have a message?" I sounded like a completely desperate man, and I didn't care.

"She did, actually. She asked me to tell you 'Roza misses you like crazy.'"

I smiled. Calling herself Roza was her way of showing me her love without letting too much on to anyone else. I let out a huge sigh.

"Art? Can you tell her that her Comrade misses her too?"

" _'Her Comrade?'_ Dimitri?"

"Yes?"

"She's your girl, isn't she? And I don't mean your student…"

"Yeah. Yeah, she is," I said, my sadness all too apparent. "We're very much in love."

It was Art's turn to sigh.

"I get it. If a girl like that had given me the time of day twenty years ago, I'd have fallen for her, too. You can have five minutes. I don't care what you talk about, as long as it has nothing to do with the mission. I'll be in the room, so I'll hear what she says, but if it's not operational, I won't pay attention to it. Understood?"

"Understood," I vowed softly. "Thank you, Art."

There was a pause, I could hear Art saying something in the background, and then I heard the sweetest voice in the world.

"Comrade?!"

* * *

Celeste and I were standing outside Schoenberg's office. The door was closed, and I was nearly climbing the walls knowing he was in there talking to someone who could talk to my Dimitri. Four degrees of separation was closer than we'd been since he left. Celeste was looking at me sympathetically. She hadn't missed the excitement in my eyes when Schoenberg had mentioned passing on a message.

The door opened and Guardian Schoenberg was there holding a phone.

"Someone's very keen to speak with his girl. You have five minutes. I'll be sitting here to make sure nothing's said about the mission but other than that I hear nothing and I don't judge," he said kindly, motioning me inside to sit on the chair in front of his desk. He handed me the phone.

"Comrade?!" I whispered, still not daring to hope it would actually be him.

"Roza," he sighed, and my whole world shook on its axis.

"Dimitri! I've missed you so much!" I moaned, tears already streaming down my cheeks.

"I've missed you too, milaya," he said quietly. "More than you could ever imagine, baby. I heard you made your first kills?" Even talking quietly as he was, I could hear the pride in his voice.

"I did. You'd be so proud of me – I didn't hesitate. It was hard, but I could almost feel you next to me as I fought. I'll be getting my first molnija – I wish you were here to see them."

"I wish I was too… You're going to look even more beautiful. How's everything back there?"

"It's ok," I said through my tears. "I'm not sleeping so well. It's hard to fall asleep without you holding me, and when I finally do, I have all these weird full on dreams. And then I'm so tired the next day I fall asleep in class. How are you sleeping?"

"I sleep ok. I like sleeping because I dream of you."

"I love it when I dream of you, too. It's like I can pretend you're still here. I just love you so much."

"I love you too, Roza. So very much. I think about you all the time."

"I think about you, too," I confessed. "Everyone's accepted that you're on holidays – no one's questioned it. It sucks, you know. Half the time I'm so freaking angry. It's like my entire life has been ripped in half and pretty much everyone else is going on their way with no fucking idea how painful this is. All I want to do is scream and cry and carry on and I can't. It's like I'm invisible you know? Like our love just never happened."

"Oh milaya," he crooned soothingly. "You're not invisible… There's a man here who's thinking of nothing _but_ you. If I could take your pain away, I would, baby. You're everything to me."

I smiled. "I've knocked off your gym gear, just so you know. The last ones you wore. I've washed everything else, but they still smell like you…"

"That's fine. You keep them," he said with a chuckle in his voice.

"Don't you laugh at me, Comrade. I've done _much_ sadder things than that. The other night I missed your voice so much I kept redialling your voicemail just so I could hear your voice. And I miss talking to you about my day, so I've been e-mailing you every few days, even though I'm not sure your account is still active and I know you can't read it. It just helps, you know?"

"It's ok milaya. You do whatever helps. I don't want you to suffer. Have you got plans for Christmas my darling?"

"Probably just spend it with Lissa and Christian. Honestly, I just wish it would go away. I don't want to celebrate without you here. I don't want to do _anything_ unless you're here. Christian's Aunt Tasha is going to be visiting, though. Does she know the truth or do I pretend you're visiting your family?"

"I haven't spoken to her in months so just tell her I'm visiting my family. You've got Mama's number, maybe call and warn her that Tasha might call to try and speak to me what with it being Christmas. Do ring Baia – I know Mama would love to hear from you. She really liked you a lot. It's a hard time for them, too, and she'll be happy to know you've spoken to me. Please tell them I'm ok and that I love them."

"I will Comrade, I promise. So what do you want for Christmas?"

"You Roza. Just you. What are you hoping for from Santa?" he asked with a teasing tone.

"The same," I sighed. "All I want is you... I've still got your necklace on; I haven't taken it off. Lissa asked about it, and Celeste lied and said she gave it to me so Lissa wouldn't be suspicious. Celeste and I have been training mornings and afternoons. Not as a mentor – just as training buddies. It's helped so much, because it's so hard to fill the hours without you."

"I feel the same way," he sighed. "I can't tell you anything about here, but know that I think of you just about constantly."

"Are you lonely?" I whispered. "For me, it's like I'm surrounded by so many people, but I feel so lost…" I was crying in earnest now.

"I know milaya. I feel the same. When I feel sad, I just close my eyes and imagine you're in my arms. That I'm running my fingers through your hair. That we're happy and laughing and together again."

"I do that too. Sometimes when I'm on the track and running I close my eyes, and I can almost hear you running along beside me, and for just those few seconds everything feels right again. And then I open my eyes, and it's not you, and everything is so fucked up…" I was absolutely howling.

"Oh milaya," Dimitri said, sounding so tortured. "I'd do anything to have spared you this. Maybe I should have left when I planned to," he suggested bitterly.

"NO! That would have been so much worse. It's ok. I'll be ok. I just miss you so much. You need to promise me, Comrade. Whatever it takes, if there's any chance – any chance at all you can make it back you'll do it. Promise me!"

"I promise you, Roza. Whatever it takes, if I can do it I will."

"And I promise you I'll wait. No matter how long, you're the one for me Dimitri Belikov. You're always going to be the one for me."

"As you're the one for me, Rosemarie Hathaway," he whispered.

"You've never called me Rosemarie before," I murmured. "I don't hate it so much when you say it. But I still prefer Roza…"

"You'll always be my Roza," he promised.

"Always?"

"Always, milaya. It's time…"

"I know," I said. It was just like last time, and my heart was breaking all over again. "Take care of yourself, Comrade. I'll be here waiting and dreaming and loving you."

"I'll be doing the same, Roza."

There was a pause, and then a different man's voice said "Schoenberg?"

I was crying too hard to do anything other than pass the phone to Guardian Schoenberg. I stood up and saw Celeste standing in the doorway. She must have heard everything. She looked at me and opened her arms – and I all but fell into them. She led me down the corridor to a sitting room and we sat side by side on a little settee, my head on her shoulder while I cried until there were no tears left.

The light was just peeking over the horizon when there was a knock at the door, and Guardian Schoenberg was standing there with two cups of black coffee. He handed one to me, the other to Celeste.

"I've finished the paperwork for your Qualifiers and your molnija, Rose. Matthews – you should get on the road as soon as possible. I'd like you both back behind wards at the Academy while it's still light." With the family leaving for court, the original plans for us to stay overnight had gone out the window.

"Thank you," I said softly. "For everything. I'm so sorry about before… I know it might not have _seemed_ like it, but I'm so very very happy and grateful to have had the opportunity to speak with Dimitri." I was embarrassed about falling apart like that in front of Guardian Schoenberg. Hell knows what he thought of me now - and so much for keeping things between Dimitri and me quiet.

"Rose you have nothing to be apologetic about. I'm just sorry this has happened to you both," Schoenberg paused, looking at me. "I can't tell you much, but I can tell you they're somewhere waiting to be deployed, and it won't be long. A week tops. Once that happens you can tell your friends the truth."

I shrugged. "That's the thing – the only people who know about Dimitri and me already know what's happened. To most people, he's just another Guardian. But he's everything to me."

"Their loss. He's an admirable young man," Schoenberg said kindly.

We finished our coffees, took the cups back to the kitchen where we said farewell and shook hands with the remaining Guardians, and walked back out to the SUV. We climbed in and headed down the driveway, through the small town and back on to the I-90 driving towards the Academy.

"So do you want to tell me about it?" Celeste asked after we were established on the highway. "I'd already figured you and Belikov were pretty close…" she trailed off.

And so for the next few hours, I spilled my guts to Celeste. I told her about the attraction from early on; the looks and stolen kisses, the lust charm, the fight not to love and want each other, our losing battle with our emotions. I told her about Dimitri holding my hand in the library. How he'd slipped up and told me he loved me. How I'd told him the same thing back. I skirted just _how_ I'd ended up on that final long weekend with him, but Celeste could mentally join the dots.

So then I told her how we'd spent the weekend loving one another. I didn't go into specifics, but she understood we'd made love.

"He was my first," I whispered, "And it was perfect."

"I could see it, you know," Celeste said. "Dimitri was so careful to try and not give anything away – but he was my guarding partner and, well, you notice things after a while."

"Like what?"

"Like a few weeks after he started training with you, he started to shave and put on cologne in the mornings if he was going to see you. If for whatever reason you weren't working out together, he'd shave after training instead."

A soft smile came to my face. "That's funny – because I actually like a bit of stubble on him. It's sexy! But I do really like his cologne. I think I told him that once early on…"

We both smiled.

"It was the same with his workout gear. Before you came back, he'd wear the oldest sweats, but then he started wearing better stuff - but only when he'd be spending time with you."

I laughed a little at that. It was hard to imagine Dimitri had been dressing up for me, but then hadn't I been doing the same? I'd purposely wear my hair down to training every morning, putting it up only when I was ready to start – and for no other reason than I knew he liked it. We fell into silence after that. I closed my eyes and thought about my conversation with my Russian God. There was so much more I wished I'd said to him.

I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I knew we were at the Academy gatehouse reporting in. I was opening my eyes as we came up the driveway. I glanced at the dash clock. Almost midday – we'd made good time. I was tired and emotionally drained, but glad to be back. We pulled up in front of the main building, and I was surprised to see Lissa and Christian standing under the portico there. It was very late for them – they should have been in bed a few hours ago – were they waiting for me? That's when I noticed the raven-haired woman beside them. Christian's Aunt. By the looks of the luggage, she must have just arrived. Made sense. A lot of Moroi chose to travel in the daylight when it was safer.

Also standing there, off to one side, was Alberta. And she _was_ waiting for me. I opened the SUV passenger door, and one look from her told me she knew about the Strigoi _and_ the phone call. I flew up the stairs, past a surprised looking Lissa, and threw myself into Alberta's arms. I had my head buried in her neck as my sobs started again. She wasn't my Mom, but she might as well be. And right now I needed a Mom.

"Come on Rose, let's get you inside," she soothed.


	14. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 14

"What's happened?" I heard a panicked Lissa asking Celeste as they followed behind us as Alberta led me to her office. "Is Rose ok? I didn't think you were due back until tomorrow?" Christian and Tasha were trailing behind us.

"There was a Strigoi attack when we arrived at the Moroi house where Rose had her Qualifier. She's made her first three kills. She'll be ok; it's just a big shock - especially the first time and if you're not expecting it. I don't want to be rude, Princess, but right now it might be best she's with other Guardians. We've all been where she is and understand it a bit better. Why don't you give her a quick hug and leave her with us? She'll be feeling much better in the morning."

I could literally have kissed Celeste. It wasn't that I didn't want to see Lissa. She's my best friend, and I'd been missing her. But I needed a chance to pull myself together first.

Lissa stepped forward, pulling me into a tight hug just as we reached Alberta's office.

"I love you, Rose," she said – and I could tell through the bond she didn't know what else to say. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Love you too, Lissa," I said. "If you don't mind, I just want to talk it through with the Guardians? How about we catch up for breakfast or lunch tomorrow? I'll text you when I'm up."

She squeezed me extra hard. "Of course. If you need anything, let me know."

She walked back to where Christian was standing beside Tasha. Christian gave me a troubled look, Tasha a sympathetic smile before Alberta ushered me into her office and I sat on her sofa.

"You did well, Rose," Alberta said. "Art was very impressed."

"Yeah I bet – until I completely lost it when I spoke with Dimitri," I said disgusted with myself. Alberta's eyes flicked to Celeste. "It's ok – I've told her everything about him and me."

"That's good. Celeste, it goes without saying I expect you to keep that information to yourself. Did you want to talk about anything, Rose?"

"Not yet. Maybe later? But can you try and keep the news about the kills under wraps? Most of the students are leaving today or tomorrow for holidays. I was hoping just to get my molnija quietly while most people were away. That way it will be old news by the time holidays are finished."

"That's fine. We'll schedule it for a few days after Christmas when hardly anyone's around. Did you want something to eat?"

"No. I think I'll just go to bed."

"That's a good idea. Come and see me when you're ready tomorrow and I'll go through the paperwork for the kills with you. Art's done most of it, but it doesn't hurt for you to get used to doing it," she suggested. "I'm very proud of you, Rose. Art told me he wouldn't have survived the attack without the help of you and Matthews." Alberta sat next to me and gave me a hug. "Off you go now. If you run into anyone, tell them to radio me if they need an explanation why you're out of bed."

Celeste and I walked across campus together, preparing to part ways near the dorms as she headed to her room and me to mine.

"Well, it was a bigger day than I'd thought. I'm sorry you ended up in danger," I said. It preyed on my mind. Celeste and I could easily have died today.

"I'm a Guardian, Rose – it goes with the territory."

"I know. But still. I'd thought it would be an easy gig for you."

"I'm glad I went," Celeste said kindly. "You needed a friend today, and I was happy to be able to be there for you. Also..." she said, flushing red in the early afternoon sun, "I am a _huge_ fan of Guardian Schoenberg and wouldn't have missed meeting him for the world. Fighting beside him was such a thrill!"

Back in my room I stripped off and lay in bed naked. It had been so hard speaking with Dimitri, but so good, too. It was easy to focus on the loss and grief, so as I lay in bed, I cuddled my pillow and focused on the fact that I'd spoken with the man I loved and that he'd told me he still loved me and was missing me. And rather than the fact I couldn't have him now, I focused on the fact I was lucky to have found him at all.

I woke in the morning feeling ok mentally but sore physically. There were several big bruises on my arms, side, and legs. My lower back also ached and felt stiff. I checked the clock, and it was 11 pm! Standing up and donning a robe, I had to scuttle like a crab across the hallway to the bathroom as I was seriously about to wet myself. I guess ten hours without relieving oneself will do that!

Back in my room, I lay back in bed, happy that I wasn't expected back until about now, so no one other than Lissa and Christian would be wondering where I was. I sent Lissa a quick text suggesting lunch in the cafeteria at midnight. I got a message back almost instantly saying Tasha didn't like the stares she got in the cafeteria, so would I mind going with them to lunch where she was staying. Suited me – the cafeteria was probably the last place I wanted to be today, too!

I took a shower, taking the time to wash and blow dry my hair. I even put on a little subtle makeup. I guess I'd already 'met' Tasha last night, but I hadn't been at my best then – so I thought I'd take a second chance at making a good first impression. She was an old friend of Dimitri's, so if he came back, she might end up being one of 'our' friends I thought with a smile.

I met with Lissa near the commons. She was alone, so Christian must be meeting us at Tasha's.

"Rose!" Lissa squealed hugging me hard. "Are you alright? I was so worried!"

I was mentally sampling her mood through the bond. She was certainly worried – but a little frightened, too. Me looking so distressed had freaked her out. She was used to seeing me strong and fearless and witnessing me lose it like that had scared her.

"Yeah, I'm alright. It was just full on, you know?"

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you once we're at Tasha's. It will save me saying it twice. How is she? What's she like?" I asked curiously, using the opportunity without Christian to get the goss.

"She's _lovely_ Rose! She's laid back and funny and seems to like me..."

Well _of course_ she did. How could anyone not like Lissa? Particularly when they saw how good she was for Christian. Any mother-in-law to be, or aunt-in-law in this case, should be kissing Lissa's feet.

"So where are we going?" I asked as we moved away from the main buildings towards the gym.

"Tasha doesn't like staying in the guest accommodation. Too full of stuffy royals," Lissa explained. I had to suppress a smile. Sounds like Tasha was a woman after my own heart! "So she chose to stay in a cabin on the outskirts of campus."

As she said it, I could see a cabin among the trees, smoke coming from the chimney. They were old Guardian watch post cabins – used back when there were more Guardians on campus, and there was a larger more formalized patrol of the wards. Now they were mostly unused, other than the occasional couple sneaking away to use them for amorous encounters. Lissa stopped and knocked, and Christian opened the door and ushered us inside.

The cabin itself was a decent size. It had a small kitchen area, a bed, a door leading to a bathroom and a tiny sitting area with a couple of sofas. I can't imagine it was always as well furnished as this, so they'd probably brought stuff in so Tasha would have a comfortable stay.

"Lissa!" Tasha greeted pleasantly. I turned to face the woman in the kitchen who was looking at Lissa and me. She was undoubtedly an Ozera – her dark hair and piercing blue eyes declared that. She was very pretty, or at least she would have been had it not been for large red scratch marks running down one side of her face and neck.

"Hi, Tasha. This is my friend Rose Hathaway," Lissa said, making the formal introductions. "Rose this is Christian's Aunt Tasha Ozera."

"Hi," I said a little shyly. "I know I saw you last night, but I was a bit all over the place, sorry."

"Yeah what happened?" Christian asked, without his usual snark. Looks like having Tasha here might come with added benefits. Like Christian using his manners. Tasha gestured for us to sit on the sofas as she made hot chocolate. I was surprised to note she made it the same way Dimitri did – with two sachets. I'd never seen anyone do it that way other than my Russian God.

I sighed. "I had my Qualifier scheduled for yesterday," I started, mostly for Tasha's benefit as Lissa and Christian already knew that aspect of things. "Because I missed it in Junior year. It was being held at a private house with Guardian Arthur Schoenberg."

" _Shit_ Rose! I didn't know your Qualifier was with _Art freaking Schoenberg_!" Christian spluttered. It spoke volumes that even Moroi knew who he was. The man had been head of the Guardian Council, was a fighting God, and revered amongst Dhampir and Moroi alike.

"Yeah – Dimitri organized it for me," I said absently, pausing as I saw Tasha's head snap up to look at me when I said his name.

"Anyway when Celeste and I got there, it was dark and quiet. No lights on even though they were expecting us. At first, I thought it might be part of a Qualifier test – but when we got to the front door, it had been kicked in. There was the sound of fighting, and we came in to see Schoenberg fighting a bunch of Strigoi unaided. Celeste and I pitched in, and I made my first three kills. Schoenberg then sent me upstairs to check the family had made it to the panic room, and they all had other than their youngest son. So I went looking for him and had just found him when an eleventh Strigoi found us. I was preparing to fight him when Schoenberg staked him from behind and then it was over."

Lissa, Christian, and Tasha were hanging on my every word. Now I spoke it out loud I guess it did sound pretty badass.

"I thought I was doing ok with it, but then I saw Alberta, and I was tired and all my adrenaline kind of disappeared..." I trailed off lamely. It's not like I could tell them the main reason I was distressed was because of Dimitri. I mean, I was upset about the kills, too. But not as much as I had been talking to my man.

"So will you be getting molnija?" Tasha asked. "How does it work with you still being a Novice?"

"Yeah, they'll just leave room for the promise mark to be added later," I explained. "I'm trying to keep it quiet, so they'll do the ceremony after Christmas sometime when hardly anyone's around."

"I thought you'd want to celebrate?" Christian asked, just a little bitterly. Suddenly I appreciated how hard this must be for him and Tasha to hear me talking about killing Strigoi. Talking about killing creatures like his parents.

I looked up at him, plagiarizing Dimitri's words to explain it to him. "No. I mean sure they were Strigoi and their souls had gone. But they were all human, Dhampir or Moroi once, you know? It's still killing..."

"You see it the same way Dimitri does," Tasha muttered.

"Yeah, well he's the one who told me how it would feel when I made my first kills, and he was right," I said glumly. "I know Novices think it's all about glory, but it's not. It's a heavy responsibility. Celeste was right last night – it's not something you can really understand until you've been through it."

"So how come Dimitri didn't take you to your Qualifier?" Tasha asked casually, although she seemed a little _too_ interested in my answer. "I thought he was your mentor?"

I psyched myself up, preparing to lie to one of my man's friends, trying to appear natural and casual. I hope once the truth came out she'd understand and forgive me.

"Hmm? Yeah, he is, but he's on leave. Visiting his family in Baia, I think?"

"Oh that's a pity," Tasha said vaguely, quickly trying to hide the look of disappointment on her face. "I was hoping he and I could spend some quality time together while I was here." Something about the way she said 'quality time' made me shiver. "Did he say when he's due back?"

"Not that I know of," I said, happy not to actually lie. "Maybe ask Celeste? She's his partner, so if anyone would know, it would be her."

A look of what I thought might be fury crossed Tasha's face, but it was gone before I could confirm that's what it had been.

"Partner?"

"Yeah. His guarding partner. She and Dimitri have been allocated as primary partners for two or three years. Since he came to the Academy. I think she's partnering with Emil while Dimitri is away," I explained.

"Oh, ok!" Tasha said, smiling again. "Maybe I'll give him a call and see when he's coming back. Has he been gone long?"

"A couple of weeks," I said casually. It hurt to speak about Dimitri as though he was just another Guardian, but it was just how it had to be right now. Besides, I was getting a sense that maybe Tasha's interest in Dimitri was more than friendly. Keen to change the subject I asked, "So will you be coming to the Yule Ball, Tasha?"

"I suppose so. I have a beautiful dress I brought to wear..." she said a little sadly.

"You weren't trying to impress a certain very tall, dark and handsome Guardian were you, Tash?" Christian teased.

Tasha rolled her eyes and turned back to the kitchen, but not before I saw a tell-tale flush on her cheeks.

"Shut up, Christian," she said. "Lissa, I have no idea how you put up with him!"

Lissa laughed and the moment was gone, but not before I knew I'd been right. I wasn't the only woman in the room who wanted to be more than just good friends with Dimitri Belikov.

We had sandwiches for lunch, Tasha explaining she just had to ring through what she wanted, and the kitchen would send it down. I had to admit; it was a lot more civilized than enduring the school cafeteria! I guess being a Royal Moroi, even one from a disgraced family, still gave you a lot of privileges! We chatted for ages – Lissa and Christian having no classes that afternoon, and me not due back at class until tomorrow after my Qualifier.

Tasha was actually nice to talk to. We spoke about her work as a martial arts instructor and her ideas about Moroi self-defense. It was refreshing to speak with a Moroi, and a Royal at that, who saw they had a role to play in their own protection. I intentionally kept all my comments about things other than Dimitri, and I was grateful she did, too. I was already in enough of a tailspin after speaking with him, so I really wasn't in a space to try and reconcile how she felt about him.

Looks like Lissa didn't get that memo, though. There was a pause in the conversation, and she asked, "So how do you know Guardian Belikov, Tasha?" I looked to Tasha, seeing her tender little smile and mentally battened down the hatches.

"Dimka and I have been friends for _years_ ," she said. "I met him through his old charge, Ivan. Ivan and I were more friends first, but over time I became much closer to Dimka. We've always had a special connection, but I haven't seen him in a while. After he lost Ivan, it was too painful for him to see anyone associated with him. And then he was off finding you two, and I was working. We just never seem to have the right timing. I'm _so_ disappointed he's not here for Christmas. I should have checked he'd be here, but it didn't occur to me he'd be on holidays. I wanted to surprise him."

Lissa smiled sweetly. I could tell from the bond that, like me, she was reading between the lines and could tell Tasha was interested in Dimitri. She thought it was sweet and very romantic. I, personally, wanted to vomit – but it wasn't Tasha's fault that she was crushing on the man I loved. It wasn't like she had any idea of what had gone on between he and me.

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you when he gets back," Lissa said kindly.

"I hope so," Tasha said with a shy little smile.

It was around 4 am when Christian, Lissa and I stood to leave. Christian and Lissa were going to return for a family dinner that evening, but I begged off claiming I had paperwork to do relating to my Qualifier and kills. We were walking up towards main campus when Christian turned to me.

"Rose? Thank you for recognizing that Strigoi weren't _always_ evil, and that at some time they were special to someone. It's nice to know that some Guardians see that." I knew he was referring to his parents.

"Sparky – I think most of us see it that way. Taking a life, even a soulless one, is still killing. It's not something anyone does lightly. Dimitri told me that when I had my first kills, I'd understand, and he was right," I sighed.

"He's a really decent guy, isn't he?" Christian replied out of the blue. "Belikov."

"Yeah, he is. The best."

"I'm glad," he said smiling. "When Tasha and I went to get wood for the fire, she told me that when he gets back, she's going to ask him to be her Guardian and hopefully something more. She said there's always been something between them, and she knows he wants kids, so she's going to see if he'd like to settle down and have a family with her."

My stomach heaved, and honestly, it took everything I had not to hurl on the spot. The idea of my Dimitri with another woman and starting a family was repugnant. But he wanted kids? It wasn't something we'd discussed, but then there was so much we hadn't had a chance to talk about during our brief days together.

Thinking about Tasha, and her conviction that there was 'something between' she and Dimitri, I wondered whether maybe he hadn't been completely honest with me about their past. Maybe she had a claim to him that predated mine?


	15. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 15

I was lying on my bed at 6 am, still running the whole Dimitri and Tasha thing through my mind. I wish there were someone I could ask about it, but there just wasn't. Eventually, I decided to believe what Dimitri had told me, although it was with reservations. I knew from the lust charm that he wasn't above lying to me if he thought it was for my own good. I just hoped this wasn't one of those occasions. Still – I'd told him Tasha was planning to visit, so he knew we'd be talking. If there'd once been something between them, surely he'd have told me then I mentally soothed myself.

That reminded me – I'd promised Dimitri I'd call his family and let them know I'd spoken with him. I wasn't looking forward to it – but I know if they'd had the opportunity to speak with him and had a message for me, I'd be very eager to know it.

I pulled out my phone, using the world time app to check the time in Baia. About 7 pm, so a respectable time to call. Thank God they spoke English because I knew basically no Russian. Pressing dial before I could get too nervous, there were odd clicks and an electronic tone before the phone started to ring. It was picked up quickly.

"Алло." It was a younger female's voice.

"Um hello? This is Rose. Rose Hathaway. Is Olena there?"

"Rose! It's Karolina, Dimka's older sister. Is there news?" she asked urgently.

"Yes. I spoke with him yesterday. They're still waiting to be sent on their mission."

"I'll get Mama," she said. I could hear rapid talking in Russian in the background.

"Rose?" I recognized Olena's voice from last time. "We're all here, and I've put you on speaker. Karolina said you've spoken with Dimka?"

"Yes. I had a school exam yesterday with Guardian Schoenberg at the house with the family he guards. We arrived in the middle of a Strigoi attack but were able to assist. Guardian Schoenberg thought it might be a targeted attack against him or his family, so he rang the Guardian in charge of Dimitri's mission to let him know because he thought it might be related. He had an idea that Dimitri and I are… close… so he asked the Guardian in charge where Dimitri is to give us five minutes to talk to each other." My tears were already starting to flow, and I knew Olena could hear it in my voice.

"Did he say where he is?"

"No. He wasn't allowed to say anything about where he is or what he's doing. He asked me to tell you all he is ok and that he loves you."

"He's a good boy," Olena said, and I could hear her voice shaking, too. "Is there anything else he said you can share?"

"Well, we mostly talked about how much we've missed each other," I admitted guiltily. "He said he likes sleeping because he has pleasant dreams, he said he felt the same when I told him I was feeling lonely and he thinks of us a lot," I said trying to recall what he'd said.

"How did he sound?"

"Honestly, he sounded like himself. A little sad, but happy for us to have the chance to talk. He was very loving on the phone," I added, hoping it wasn't too much information for his family to hear. "He also asked me to warn you that Tasha Ozera might call to try and talk with him. She's visiting her nephew at my school and was hoping to surprise Dimitri with her visit. I've told her he's visiting you guys in Baia which is the story everyone else here has been told. I met her today, and she said she'd probably call."

"That is good to know. We might put the phone recorder on and use that to avoid speaking with her."

I had no idea what she meant until a younger voice said, "She means the answering machine, Rose."

"Ahh ok. It won't need to be for too long. After I got off the phone from Dimitri, Guardian Schoenberg said that they'll be sent on their mission within a week and that once that's happened, others can know the truth."

"A week," Olena said, her voice pained.

"I know," I whispered back. "Guardian Schoenberg was in the room when I was speaking with Dimitri, so he knows about us for sure now. I think he'll let me know if there's any news. But I'll give you my number in case you hear anything first."

I rattled off my phone number, one of Dimitri's sisters carefully repeating it back to me as she jotted it down.

"Olena?" I said nervously, "About Tasha Ozera… Her nephew Christian is going out with my best friend, Lissa. We all had lunch together today and, well, I got the impression Tasha's interested in Dimitri."

"Interested?" Olena asked.

"That she wants to be in a relationship with him," I clarified. "Christian told me after lunch that Tasha intends to ask Dimitri to be her Guardian and start a family with her. There was a photo in Dimitri's album where Tasha was standing with him and Ivan, and she was looking at Dimitri so lovingly. I asked him at the time, and he said they'd never been anything but friends, but then today Tasha was basically saying there was something going on between them, but the timing had never been right?"

There was rapid chatter in the background, all of it in Russian and some of it sounding angry. I swear – I'd never wanted to understand the language as much as I did right then. When someone finally spoke, it wasn't Olena.

"Rose? It's Karolina. I know Tasha as well, and you're right. She is interested in Dimka and has been for ages. Dimka isn't interested in her in that way, and as far as I know, nothing has ever happened between them."

"Are you sure…?"

Olena spoke then. "Rose, my son is very open with me. He's only once told me he is in love, and that was when we spoke to him with you. I already had a thought he might be in love with you from the way he spoke so fondly of you during our phone calls over the last few months, so I was not too surprised when he told us about his feelings. He has never spoken about Tasha in a loving way."

"What do you know about how he and Tasha met?" a younger female voice asked me. I think it was Karolina again.

"Dimitri told me Tasha dated Ivan for a little while, but she wanted more than he did, so when Ivan broke it off with her Dimitri was the one she spoke to about her disappointment."

"That's a polite way of putting it," the woman scoffed. Definitely Karolina, I could now tell. "Tasha became obsessed with Ivan. She was a little unstable. Dimka didn't hang out with her by choice. She wouldn't leave Ivan alone and would turn up at his house or places she knew he would be. As Ivan's Guardian, Dimka kept her away from him until she got over it. I think she started to form an attraction to Dimka then, but he never saw it. I would tell him over and over again to be careful because Tasha liked him, but he said she just wanted to be friends."

"Well, she wants to be more than friends with him now," I muttered.

"Do not doubt the young man's love," an older voice intoned. It was Yeva, Dimitri's grandmother. "He loves you and only you. There is nothing between him and the Ozera woman. But if she knows you have his heart she will do everything she can to destroy you."

"Babushka is right, Rose. Tasha is nice, but she can also be a little crazy. Don't tell her about you and Dimka. Wait until he gets back." Karolina sounded sad when she said the last part – but it was nice to know I wasn't the only one who chose to speak as though this was at least a possibility.

"Thank you," I said sincerely. "We only had those few days together, so we didn't have a chance to talk about all this sort of stuff. It was such a shock when I heard she thought he would want to be with her romantically and start a family."

"He wouldn't do that, Rose. Dimitri was very clear to us about how deeply he feels about you. Mama is right, be sure in his love," Olena said kindly.

"Rose?" a different voice asked. "It's Viktoria, Dimka's youngest sister. What was it like meeting Guardian Schoenberg? Were you nervous?"

"Very!" I laughed. "He's really nice, though."

"Did you get to see him fight?" she asked.

"Yep. When Celeste and I got there, he was facing off against ten Strigoi alone. The guy is a fighting God. The only person I've seen even close to being as good is Dimitri."

"How many did Schoenberg kill?"

"Well, there were eleven, all up. One was already upstairs looking for the Moroi. Schoenberg killed five and Celeste and I each killed three."

"You killed three Strigoi?" Viktoria gasped. "That's huge!"

"They were my first kills, but it's all thanks to Dimitri's training," I said honestly.

"He must be very proud," Olena observed.

"Yeah, he was," I admitted.

We chatted a little longer before I started to wrap it up.

"Rose?" It was Olena again, and she sounded nervous. "We haven't met yet, but you're important to Dimka which makes you important to us. Don't be strange."

I was trying to figure out if she meant she hoped I wasn't a weirdo, when one of the girls, I think Viktoria, snort-laughed loudly.

"She means don't be a stranger…"

I laughed. That made more sense. "Ok. I'll call again," I promised.

"Make sure you do dochka," Olena said, and they rang off.

I lay back in bed smiling. I was so relieved there'd been nothing between my Russian God and Tasha even though it was concerning she was crazy enough to believe she had a future with him. But then I guess given the circumstances with his reallocation, I was probably equally as nuts. At least I knew he loved me, I thought wryly – ashamed of myself for doubting him even a little.


	16. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 16

I got up and headed to the cafeteria for dinner, thinking I'd stop by Alberta's office on the way. We'd never outright spoken about Dimitri and me, but we needed to. It was cold out – we were, after all, only a few days before Christmas – so I grabbed a coat and headed across the commons. As luck would have it, Alberta was in her office.

"Rose," she greeted looking up from a mountain of papers. "You here to go through the paperwork for your kills?"

"Yes. But I also wanted to let you know something… About Dimitri." It was embarrassing to talk directly about my love, but it's not like she didn't already know.

"Yes?" Alberta looked at me tentatively. She was equally unused to me talking to her about my personal life.

"Well, you know how Christian's aunt Tasha Ozera is staying on campus at the moment? She knows Dimitri and has a crush on him. Christian confided in me that she was planning on using her visit to ask him to be her 'Guardian with benefits,'" I said, raising my eyebrows meaningfully.

"Oh," Alberta said, clearly surprised and a little out of her depth.

"She wants him to guard her and for them to also start a family together," I added so there was no misunderstanding what I meant. "I've spoken with Dimitri's family who also know her, and they said there's never been anything between him and Tasha. I know Dimitri loves only me, but they warned me that were she to find out about he and I she might get nasty. They said she's been a bit unstable about relationships in the past."

"I see," Alberta said slowly. "So who knows about you and Belikov?"

"You, Celeste, Guardian Schoenberg, and Dimitri's family. Stan might have an inkling because he walked into the gym when I was sitting on Dimitri's lap and crying just after he told me about his reallocation."

"You haven't told any of your friends?" She sounded surprised.

"No. Dimitri and I only had those few days, and then he was gone. It wasn't like they could help me with it because I couldn't tell them where he'd gone and why I was so upset, so it was easier just to say nothing. But I thought I should tell you about Tasha."

"Thank you, I'm glad you have. I suggest you let Celeste know about this, although I trust her not to say anything. Let me know if Tasha becomes an issue," she said thoughtfully. "Now - let me introduce you to the joy that is Guardian paperwork," she said with a chuckle, but not before she gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze.

* * *

It was Friday morning, and I dragged myself out of bed. I'd actually fallen asleep at a reasonable hour last night, but I was still exhausted. However I knew Celeste would be waiting for me in the gym, and I needed to bring her up to date on the Tasha situation.

I threw my hair up, brushed my teeth and dressed in sweats, racing to the gym only a few minutes late. I opened the inner door, and two things happened at once – first I saw Celeste and Tasha standing awkwardly next to one another, and then I started dry retching from the smell in the gym. The gym had high vaulted ceilings and upper windows that were opened in summer to air out the space. But being December, the windows hadn't been opened in months, and more of the combat classes were being held indoors. Consequently the space stank.

"How can you guys breathe in here?" I groaned, trying to stop myself from hurling. "It fucking stinks to high heaven!"

Tasha looked at me surprised, but Celeste nodded.

"I thought the same thing when I came in. Smells of sweat and piss." I hadn't actually noticed the particularly acrid scent of men's urine coming from their locker room until she mentioned it – and then I _really_ wanted to chunder.

"Can we work out down that end of the gym?" I begged, pointing to the end away from the change rooms and closest to the doors.

"Good idea," Celeste murmured, dragging the equipment we were going to use with her.

"I hope you don't mind - I thought I might join you to train today?" Tasha said pleasantly. "Christian mentioned you train with Celeste every morning and afternoon, and since she's Dimitri's guarding partner, I was curious to meet her."

"That's fine," I said with a smile, although I didn't miss Celeste's 'what the fuck?' look to me from where she stood behind Tasha.

"Tasha is Christian Ozera's aunt," I explained to Celeste, "and an old friend of Dimitri's. She teaches martial arts in the human world. She's here visiting Christian and was hoping to surprise Dimitri." Understanding passed across Celeste's face.

"Yes we've been _good friends_ for years," Tasha said suggestively. "I thought if you had an idea when he'd be back from Baia, I wouldn't have to call him and ruin the surprise."

"I wish I could help you," Celeste said with a friendly smile, "but I have no idea when he's due back. The guy has like three months of leave saved up, so he could be gone for ages."

"I guess I'll have to ring him, then," Tasha said with disappointment. "You must enjoy working with him? He's such a great fighter."

"Yeah D's a dream to work with," Celeste replied, watching Tasha's reaction carefully. Sure enough, the older woman's jaw tensed slightly. "He really knows how to treat a lady."

Tasha looked _far_ from pleased with that comment.

"What do you mean?" she asked sharply. "Are you saying you and Dimka are more than just colleagues?"

"Oh God no!" Celeste laughed, a picture of innocence. "The opposite in fact. As a female Guardian, I've found a lot of male guarding partners like to try it on. Dimitri's not been like that at all. He's always been an absolute gent and very professional."

Tasha appeared mollified, and I smiled benignly. I knew Celeste had been intentionally misleading in order to gauge Tasha's response.

"I'm really tired today," Celeste commented. "You ok if we do a half workout, Rose? Just 100 reps?"

I smiled. "Suits me. I'm still recovering from the fight the other day," I said truthfully. But I knew what Celeste was up to. We usually did fifty reps! A hundred would almost kill me. In which case, they'd murder Tasha. A wicked glint in Celeste's eyes told me we were on the same page.

"We usually do thirty laps, two hundred chin-ups, sit-ups, press-ups, an hour of cardio and then we spar. It's snowing outside so we'll skip the run this morning, and maybe just do a hundred reps?" She was looking inquiringly at Tasha.

"Sure – that sounds great!" she replied, in a cheerless attempt at enthusiasm.

We did our stretches and headed over to the chin-up bars. It quickly became apparent that there was no way Tasha was going to be able to go the distance. Celeste and I were on either end, with Tasha in the middle. Doing one chin up for every two of ours, Tasha was red-faced and puffing while Celeste and I were having a conversation about workout leggings and specifically a new brand Celeste had discovered which were both inexpensive and comfortable.

"And you can online order which is a blessing when I'm stuck on campus and can't get to a store. What type do you wear, Tasha?" Celeste asked conversationally, giving me a cheeky look that Tasha missed.

"Can't remember," Tasha gasped, her usually pale face flushed red with exertion.

"Well I suggest you try the 'Chrystelle' range," Celeste carried on in a perfectly normal voice. "I've found them super comfy!"

"I might give them a go" I said to Celeste, making sure to keep any sound of exertion out of my voice.

"That's a hundred," Celeste said cheerfully. "Sit-ups next! We usually hold one another's ankles," she explained to Tasha who'd dropped from the chin up bar having completed maybe forty chin-ups. "Did you want to go or hold first?"

Tasha looked at her watch and then back to us. "I think I'll have to give it a miss – I've just remembered I promised Christian I'd drop by this morning, and it's later than I thought it was."

It was 6 pm, and I knew for a fact Sparky wouldn't be awake for at least an hour and a half, yet.

"That's a pity, Tasha. We'll be here again this afternoon and tomorrow morning if you'd like to join us then?" Celeste said with every indication of sincerity.

"If I'm free I will," she said, picking up her gym bag with shaking arms and waving us a weary farewell.

I lay on my back and Celeste grabbed my ankles. I started doing sit-ups as Tasha exited the gym. We waited until we heard the outer set of gym doors close before Celeste flopped down next to me and we laughed.

"I'm not going to be able to lift a glass this afternoon my arms will be so wrecked," she moaned.

"Me too," I said with a giggle.

"So she has a thing for Dimitri I see…" Celeste probed.

"Sure does," I confirmed, quickly outlining what Christian and then Dimitri's family had told me.

"I think it's best you just stay off her radar, then. She won't stay long once she knows Dimitri is on a mission. Plenty of time to deal with her later on if needs be."

"You're right," I agreed, but not without a little sadness. "Falling in love with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is meant to be one of the happiest times of your life. I know there are a lot of good reasons why I can't, but I wish I could tell the world how I feel about him."

"As long as _he_ knows that's the important thing," Celeste said hugging me. I guess she was getting into this training together thing – now she was delivering Zen life lessons!


	17. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 17

"Come on, Rose! The Yule Ball is the second last dance before graduation. Can't you at least _pretend_ to be excited?!" It was Christmas Eve, and I was sitting on a chair in Lissa's room as she and Tasha primped and prepped me for the dance. "And I still don't get why you don't have a date?"

Because the man I'm in love with isn't here and I don't want to even think about going with anyone else – that's why I thought to myself. Out loud I sighed and said, "I _told_ you, Lissa – I'm just not into anyone, so I'd rather go solo."

"Are you ok?" she asked, looking at me carefully. Lissa wasn't always the most observant, but I guess me not being excited about a dance was pretty out of character.

"Yeah. Still working through my feelings after my Qualifier," I said, not completely untruthfully. Celeste and I had talked about it, and I was feeling a bit better about it. I was grateful Christian, Lissa and Tasha hadn't told anyone so, for now, no one else knew.

Lissa nodded, and I could tell through the bond she felt guilty the kills had affected me so much. Like Christian, she thought a Guardian's first kills were something they'd celebrate, so now she felt bad that she hadn't appreciated that no amount of training or justification could prepare someone for the reality of taking a life. Even a soulless one. Of course, she didn't know that that was only a part of my disquiet - but I couldn't be sharing _that_ information with her.

"So did you have any luck contacting Guardian Belikov, Tasha?" Lissa asked kindly. "Is he likely to be here tonight?"

"I don't think so," Tasha said, disappointment in her voice. "I've left two or three messages on his voicemail, but he hasn't called back."

"Phone towers are probably down. I remember Dimitri once said the winter is fierce in Baia. If it's been snowing heavily, it might have taken them out?" I suggested.

"I hadn't thought of that," Tasha replied brightly. "I'll try his house in Baia tomorrow. It will be nice to wish him happy Christmas and to let him know there's something special waiting for him here at the Academy," she simpered. Yep. Wanted to hurl again. Or hurl something at her. Not quite sure which! It was hard, because other than her frequent suggestive mentions about my man, I actually liked Tasha.

"So how are you doing your hair tonight, Liss?" I asked, changing topics.

"I thought I'd do half up half down in loose curls," she explained, lifting part of her hair to show Tasha and me what she meant.

"Oh! Can I do it for you?" Tasha asked enthusiastically, looking to Lissa then I for approval.

I shrugged and nodded, looking at Lissa. I always did her hair and her mine before we went out – but I knew she was trying to bond as much as possible with Tasha. Besides which, I wasn't hugely skilled at doing hair, so Tasha might well be the better choice. Lissa shot me a grateful look as I flopped back on her sofa and flicked through a magazine while Tasha got busy with the hair iron.

"Hey, what does dochka mean? In Russian? I think that's how it was said?"

"What was the context?" Tasha asked curiously.

"Um – it was in one of my Guardian studies examples," I said, frantically trying to come up with a plausible story. "A young woman was talking with an older woman who said 'make sure you do dochka,' but the young woman's name was something else."

"Oh – that's an affectionate term for daughter," Lissa explained, and Tasha agreed.

I smiled internally. Olena had called me her daughter! That was a pretty big tick of approval on the mother-in-law front, I thought happily. I went back to loafing on the sofa, idly listening to Lissa and Tasha chat, but really thinking about Dimitri. I'd sent him a long email earlier telling him about the Tasha situation. I'd never been into journaling, but I had to admit as a technique for straightening things out in my head it had merit. Half the time as I wrote I could imagine my Russian God's sensual voice replying to my ramblings. What I'd give to have him really here. How eighteen days could be such a long time was beyond me.

I was saved further reflection by Tasha and Lissa demanding I get up and put my dress on. Tight and red with matching shoes, I had to admit I looked hot. Shame the only one I wanted to look hot for wouldn't be there.

Christian arrived promptly at 7.30 am knocking on the door and admiring the three of us. In his tux, he scrubbed up well. Tasha made he and Lissa stand for numerous photos and then I took masses more of the three of them before we were finally allowed to depart. The Moroi dorms being closer to the main part of campus than the Dhampir ones, we were able to quickly teeter across the cleared, salted path from the warm dorm block to the building that housed the hall where tonight's dance would be held. Lucky I'd got ready at Lissa's – trudging through the deep snow in heels from the Dhampir dorms would not have been fun, and nothing ruined the look of an evening dress like chunky all-weather combat boots.

We got to the doors of the dance, Christian gallantly taking Tasha on one arm and Lissa on the other and leading them into the hall. Following in their wake, I looked around with interest. If the Moroi knew how to do one thing, it was throw a party, and because there were quite a few parents at this one it would be better than most. The hall had been decorated with real pine garlands with artificial snow tips. Closing my eyes I inhaled, breathing in the scent of Christmas. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes as it also brought to mind the smell of Dimitri's aftershave. I blinked them back and looked around to see if could see anyone I wanted to talk to. Since that was basically restricted to Eddie and Mason, I wasn't fancying my chances of finding them in the hall.

Lissa and Christian were introducing Tasha to those friends who had not gone home for Christmas. She'd worn a lot of makeup tonight, so her scars were less noticeable particularly in this dim light, and even I had to admit she looked sensational in the strapless teal taffeta evening gown she was wearing. With her slim, graceful body, long dark hair and piercing blue eyes she was a beautiful woman – a fact not unnoticed by the male Moroi present. Quite a few Moroi parents had come to St Vladimir's to spend Christmas with their children, so Tasha was far from being the only older person present.

I sighed, not sure why I was feeling so despondent by the admiring glances she was getting. I was the one Dimitri wanted, not Tasha. But I guess that was a moot point at the moment, anyway. Suddenly I wished I'd accepted one of the invites to pre or post parties. I just wanted to wipe myself out until I couldn't stand. Until I couldn't even _think._

"What's such a beautiful woman doing standing all by herself?" Mason asked, coming to stand beside me.

"Hi Mase," I smiled, happy to see him. I knew he fancied me, but even before things happened with Dimitri, I couldn't feel the same way about him. It would have been so much simpler if I could have – but it just hadn't worked out that way. Since Mason didn't know my heart had been claimed by another, he kept subtly trying to get me to see him as a suitor, and I kept deflecting him. And it looked like tonight was going to be no exception.

"Would you like something to eat? Or perhaps to dance?" he enquired considerately.

"Food!" I laughed, joking about my ever-present appetite. Not that there was ever much to eat at things like this. I really should have had an early dinner like the other Dhampirs, but I'd been too busy getting ready with Lissa and Tasha. Consequently, Mason and I went on a hunting and foraging mission, looking for the platters of tiny hors d'oeuvres typically dished up at these events.

Parking myself near the service entrance to the kitchens, I was in the plum position to attack every tray that came out – which is exactly what I did for the next half an hour. Mason, ever the gent, stood and chatted to me as I all but inhaled the miniature treats.

"Planning to leave any for anyone else, Hathaway?" Celeste joked, coming across in her formal Guardian uniform to say hello. She was on duty as a guard and chaperone.

"Hey Matthews," I said, using her surname as we'd agreed I'd do in formal situations. "I was getting ready with the Princess so didn't have a chance to have dinner," I explained, reaching over to filch a couple more of the rare roast beef and horseradish mini toasts from a passing server.

"Don't give yourself indigestion," she joked. "And stay away from the smoked salmon – I heard someone in the kitchen say it didn't smell the best."

"Shall do," I said giving her a mock salute. Although I was still ravenous, I let Mason lead me across to the dance floor where the first slow song of the evening had started. I didn't want to encourage him too much, so while I let him put his hand on my waist the second it started to slip even a fraction I pulled it back up. We danced for a couple of songs, keeping up our chatter about who had stayed on campus for Christmas and whose family was visiting.

News of increased Strigoi attacks had been circulating, so I was unsurprised to see a lot of Moroi and even some royal Moroi families had chosen to Christmas at St Vladimir's this year. As a warded Guardian stronghold, it was probably the safest place to be outside of court, particularly for those families who didn't have their own Guardians. The sheer number of those visiting was no doubt putting a massive strain on the Academy's Dhampir housekeeping and catering staff – but even at Christmas 'they come first' I thought, not without a little bitterness.

I looked around curiously at the very mixed company. For once the Novices almost outnumbered the Moroi students. Most of the Dhampir girls didn't have the budget to afford a new dress for every dance, let alone the opportunity to purchase one, so a lot of swapping went on amongst the female Novices before events such as these. Looking around I could see a Junior girl Anne looking quite pretty in a navy blue dress that Lissa had bought me when we were on the run, and Chelsea had sailed past five minutes ago on Jacob Morgan's arm looking an absolute vision in the dress Dimitri had stripped off me after the Equinox dance. Oh to have him here to do the same with tonight's dress, I mentally sighed. While I wasn't super close with any of the other girl Novices, I got along with them well enough, and it was selfish to have a rack of pretty dresses, thanks to Lissa, and not share them around a bit I thought!

Eddie came over and cut in on Mason, taking me around the dance floor a few times. I liked dancing with Eddie. He was a better dancer than Mason, and he was taller. I closed my eyes for just a second, letting myself pretend that it was Dimitri I was dancing with.

"What are you smiling about, Hathaway?" Eddie asked, looking at my soft smile.

"Just thinking of ways to mess with Stan," I replied opening my eyes, hoping whatever my face had said, my words would support it.

"Ha!" Eddie laughed. "That's why you suddenly looked all dreamy and happy!"

"What can I say – I love to think of ways to make him squirm. Come on – time for you to ask Chelsea for a dance," I said, steering us across to where she stood. Handing him over, I wandered to a quiet corner where I could people watch without being noticed. So while I wasn't in Guardian uniform, I might as well have been. Lissa and Christian looked like a dream on the dance floor – her pale blonde hair and white dress contrasted starkly with his dark hair and tux. They were the quintessential young Royal Moroi couple in love, despite his checkered family history.

Tasha was standing with a group of visiting Royal Moroi parents, deep in conversation. From the scandalized expression on several faces, I suspect she was expounding her beliefs about Moroi self-defense. While I admired her tenacity, I think she might have misjudged the occasion and her audience.

I surreptitiously checked the time. 9.30 am. Still hours before the ball would wrap up. But I was bored, my feet hurt and I was bone weary. All thoughts of getting wasted at an after party were gone, replaced by fantasies of a soft warm bed. I was turning to make my escape when Mason spotted me.

"Where are you off to? None of the after parties will have started yet," he said disapprovingly. From his tone of voice, it was obvious he thought I was sneaking off for an illicit tryst.

"I'm going to my room and to bed," I admitted. "Alone!" I clarified when I saw his look. "I'm tired, still a bit hungry, and my new shoes are pinching."

"What's up with you, Rose?" he asked softly. "You haven't been yourself for weeks…"

"Just a lot going on, duckie," I muttered, blinking back tears but not before he saw them.

"Come on then, let's get you out of here," he said gallantly.

We were exiting the hall when Celeste appeared. "Going somewhere?" she asked with a hint of a smile. Part of her job was to prevent couples slipping away to find places to fornicate.

"I'm feeling tired and out of sorts," I explained. "Mase was just going to walk me back to my dorm."

Celeste looked at me carefully, seeing the veracity of my words. "Then do so and return quickly, Novice Ashford. Don't make me have to send a search party out for you!"

I smiled at Celeste, and she gave me a curt nod. She knew celebrating at a dance was the last thing I wanted to do what with everything going on with Dimitri, and that I also had no intention of locking lips with Mason or anyone else.

* * *

I woke to a silence I immediately recognized. It had obviously been snowing overnight, as all I could hear was the deafening quiet of thick freshly fallen snow. Looking at the clock, I saw it had just gone 7 pm, so still relatively early on Christmas 'morning.' Well, morning Moroi time. I raced across the frigid hallway to the even colder dorm bathroom – completing my business as quickly as possible before climbing back into the warmth of my bed.

I fired up my laptop – hoping against hope there'd be word from my Russian God, but Santa hadn't come through. Instead, there was an e-mail from my mother:

 _Dear Rosemarie,  
Happy Christmas. I have transferred $100 to Alberta  
to give you so you can buy yourself whatever you need.  
Love your mother Janine_

Hmm. Positively fond and loving as far as e-mails from my mother went. Not that that said much. But at least she'd made an effort. Thinking about what Dimitri had said about trying to reach out, I thought I should do likewise. So I quickly fired back:

 _Hi Mom,  
Thanks for the Christmas wishes and present. Both appreciated.  
I hope you have a good day wherever you are. I have a quiet one  
planned here with Lissa, her boyfriend Christian and his Aunt Tasha.  
Love Rose_

Well, that was the family e-mails taken care of until my birthday in March, I guess. Checking the world time clock, I saw it would be 8.30 on Monday morning in Baia. I'd better ring to tell them Tasha was likely to call today. It had only been a few days since I'd spoken with Dimitri's family, but it felt kind of nice to have someone to call on Christmas, even if it was only to warn them.

I dialed, hearing the same ring tone as last time. When it picked up I heard a recorded female voice say "Нас нет дома, пожалуйста оставьте сообщение на автоответчике, мы вам перезвоним." Karolina's voice, if I had to guess.

There was a beep, and I said, "Hi it's Rose. No news just wanted to let you know that Tasha is planning to call you to speak to Dimitri as it's Christmas here today. Hope everyone's well. I'll call again soon." I was a little disappointed they hadn't picked up, but maybe they were out. So with nothing to do for an hour I emailed Dimitri again. I'd sent him a long email yesterday – but I wanted to wish him Merry Christmas.

 _Hello darling,  
I know I usually call you Dimitri or Comrade, but it's Christmas, and somehow darling just seems right today. Santa didn't deliver, because I didn't wake up to find you in my bed. But I did dream of you last night, so that's something I guess?_

 _The ball last night was boring. I only stayed a couple of hours. I didn't eat before I went so I was hungry, and the music sucked. It was even worse than your 80s hits which I will admit are kind of growing on me. I found myself singing to that one about the radio star the other day._

 _Tasha is planning to ring Baia today to speak to you and find out when you're due back, so I rang your family to warn them. They had the answering machine on so perhaps they expected her call?_

 _I miss you and wonder what you're doing. It's been snowing here. I think the heating in the Novice dorms is broken again, but it's warm enough in my bed. I wish you were here too, though. You don't feel the cold the same way I do, and nothing is warmer than being curled up next to you._

 _I'm spending Christmas morning breakfasting and exchanging presents with Lissa, Christian, and Tasha at her cabin. Then we'll go to Church and then it's Christmas dinner in the main hall. I wonder what we'd have done were you here? It's our first Christmas, yet we're not together. I miss you, Comrade. I hope wherever you are this finds you safe and well and maybe thinking of your Roza._

 _I'll be thinking of you all day, just like I do every day,  
Love from the girl who misses you more than she knew was possible!_

I got out of bed and slipped on some jeans, a sweater, a jacket, scarf, beanie, gloves and quickly gathered my gifts into a bag. It was so cold in the dorms, I honestly thought outside might be warmer! We were due to meet at Tasha's at 8 pm so I headed to Lissa's dorm to walk across with her. I knocked on the door and heard whispers from inside. I guess Christian stayed over last night. At least I was so tired their 'activities' hadn't kept me up I thought, ignoring the intense surge of jealousy that surged through me. I'd have given _anything_ to be able to wake up beside Dimitri today. Even just to hear his voice. Instead, I'd get to listen to Tasha make thinly veiled assertions about their 'special connection' and watch Lissa and Christian celebrate their first Christmas together.

Blinking back tears, I smiled at their sheepish expressions when they opened the door.

"Come to walk across to Tasha's with us, Christian?" I asked innocently. He could have said yes had he not been wearing his tux trousers and evening shirt from the night before.

"I'll just go change and see you there in ten," he said, giving Lissa a quick kiss.

"Where did you disappear to last night?" Lissa asked as soon as we were alone. "I saw you and Mason disappearing very early…" She was fishing for info, but she couldn't be further from the truth.

"I wasn't feeling well, so Mason walked me back to my room."

"And then he stayed a while and made you feel better?" she teased.

"No. You know I don't feel that way about him."

She sighed. "I know. I just wish you'd find someone. You looked so gorgeous last night and I only saw you dance once!"

"I'm sorry Liss. I really wasn't in the mood. I should have stuck to my guns and given it a miss.

We'd arrived at Tasha's cabin, and Lissa knocked.

"Come on in!" Tasha beamed opening the door. I had to hand it to her - inside looked amazing. The table was filled with delicious treats; there was a real Christmas tree with a decent pile of presents underneath. She even had modern versions of Christmas carols playing! I was absolutely starving, so grabbed some food from the table and then sat on the floor unpacking my bag and adding my three gifts to the pile. They weren't much, but hey – it's the thought that counts, right? I was glad I'd let the stores gift wrap mine because the ones beneath Tasha's tree were all gorgeous!

We'd not long settled in when Christian arrived, hair damp from what must have been the fastest shower of all time. He was also carrying a bag filled with gifts. By the time he'd added his, and Lissa hers, the pile was gigantic! Tasha popped a bottle of champagne and poured us each a glass, and after a toast, we all sat down to start the present opening.

"I'll hand them out!" I volunteered with excitement. It was my favorite part of Christmas Day. I liked to hold the presents up and see if people could guess who they were for and from. I sat beside the tree and grabbed the first present. It was from Lissa to Tasha, but it was a much larger package than the earrings I knew she'd bought. My eyes flicked curiously to Lissa. A gentle probe of her mind revealed she'd done some extra online ordering with guaranteed two-day delivery, so there were a good dozen extra gifts from her.

"I wonder who this is for!" I exclaimed, looking to where Tasha sat on one sofa, Christian, and Lissa on the other. "It's from Lissa!"

Tasha and Christian grinned and looked at one another expectantly before I leaned over and passed it to Tasha. It was a really nice leather gym bag. Tasha looked delighted.

"That's gorgeous!" I complemented Lissa. For someone who knew nothing about workouts, she had managed to get it so right!

The next one was also for Tasha, this time from Christian. Perfume. It seems he'd taken Lissa at her suggestion. Both his ladies looked happy, so he'd done well. Christian was up next with one from Tasha – a toiletries kit complete with an old-school bristle shaving brush. There were little jars with silver lids and it was all contained within a monogrammed rigid leather case. It was superb! Not wanting Lissa to feel left out, I made sure I chose one for her next. Also from Tasha, it was a monogrammed brush, mirror and comb set. Silver backed, it had been engraved with a 'V'.

"I _love_ it!" Lissa exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa to hug Tasha.

That was a hard act to follow, so I waited until we were about three-quarters of the way through to offer my gift for Tasha.

"This one's from me," I said with a smile handing it across.

She looked embarrassed.

"Rose! I'm so sorry! I didn't expect you to be joining us for Christmas, so I didn't get you anything."

"No biggie," I said lightly. "This is just a little something I saw I thought you might like."

"It's gorgeous," she said with a genuine smile when she unwrapped the silk scarf. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," I replied, glad I'd chosen something she liked. "Christian said you had the same colorings as him, so I thought it would look good."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Christian whispering frantically with Lissa. And when I looked at the pile of remaining presents, I knew why. A quick check of the bond confirmed it. In his nervousness to get Lissa and Tasha the 'right' gifts, Christian had forgotten to buy me something. Lissa realized at the same time I did - in this mountain of presents, there was not a single one for me.

I was actually ok with it. I wasn't a 'stuff' person. Lissa had bought me the dress and shoes I'd worn last night as my gift, and I was happy with that. But Christian would be embarrassed when I gave him my present, and he had nothing to reciprocate. So I chose my present to him next, catching Lissa's eye and giving her a reassuring look before I started.

"Christian? This one is from me to you. It's not much, but I thought you might get a laugh. Also, I wanted to say a huge thanks for paying for my shoes for last night. I didn't have anything suitable, so I really appreciate it! It really helped make the night extra special."

Christian looked a little confused, but Lissa shot me a thankful smile, explaining she'd bought my shoes on his behalf. Awkward moment avoided. Christian seemed to like his pajamas, so I was pleased I'd got _that_ right. After that, I handed out the rest of the presents. Christian had bought several pieces of jewelry for Lissa and Tasha. Tasha loved her earrings from Lissa, and I handed Lissa my present last.

"This should come in handy for your new bling," I said softly, hugging. "It's not much, but I hope you like it."


	18. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 18

After the presents had been unwrapped, the conversation turned to family reminiscences. Tasha and Christian were telling Lissa all about their Christmases when he was growing up, and he even talked a little about his parents. It was nice to hear Christian talk lovingly about them before they'd turned. Yes, they became soulless monsters, but before that, they were his parents, and he'd loved them. While everyone was inclusive in their conversation, I started to feel very much the ring-in, so I waited for a lull in the conversation and excused myself, saying I had other gifts I needed to distribute. Lissa hugged me as I stood to leave.

"Merry Christmas, Rose," she whispered quietly. "We'll do our snow angels later."

A tradition since before her parents died, every year we'd lie on our backs and make 'angels' in the snow. It was _our_ Christmas tradition.

"Sure thing," I smiled, taking my leave and wandering across the campus. I hadn't lied – I did have presents to give to Celeste and Alberta, but I wasn't sure where they'd be on Christmas morning, so I'd probably give them theirs at dinner. Church started in an hour, but I really didn't feel like going. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with myself.

It was quiet on campus. Everyone was either sleeping in or celebrating Christmas with their loved ones. Walking past the gym, on a whim, I went in. The lights were out, but it was light enough inside thanks to the large windows near the roof and a bright moon. I walked over to the bench where Dimitri would sit waiting for me and sat down. Before I knew it, I was crying. I missed Dimitri so much. All I wanted was to be near him, but the closest I could come is sitting in the same place he so often used to.

As I sat in the half dark, my fingers caressed the varnished timber of the bench, remembering his voice as he'd tell me off for being late. I looked over to the spot where we'd kissed just before Alberta came to tell him about his reallocation. Then the place where we'd sat, me cradled in his lap, as he told me his sad news. These walls had born witness to so much of our curtailed love story. I lay sideways on the bench, closing my eyes and trying to imagine how today could have been if Dimitri had been here. We wouldn't have been open about things; I knew that. But I'm sure he would have found some way to let me know he cared.

I woke hours later to an incessant beeping. Opening bleary eyes I nearly toppled from the bench. It took me a moment to figure out where I was and why I was so cold. The beeping was from my phone.

"Hello?" I groaned into it.

"Rose! Where are you?! It's 4 am and Christmas dinner started half an hour ago! Everyone's worried."

"Sorry, Celeste. I fell asleep."

"Where are you? I checked your room, and everywhere else I could think of."

"I'm in the gym. I'll be right there."

I looked at my jeans and jacket. No doubt the Moroi will have dressed up for dinner, but I just didn't have time to go and change, besides which I was starving. Smoothing the worst of the rumples, I walked across to the hall where Christmas dinner was being served. There were five long tables with Moroi families seated enjoying their meals. I spotted Lissa, Christian, and Tasha in the middle of one table sitting with some Lazars. Far from looking worried, I don't think they'd noticed my absence at all. There wasn't a spare seat, so I wandered over to the table on the left where the bulk of Guardians and Novices were sitting. I waved to Mason and Eddie down the other end before taking the vacant seat between Celeste and Alberta.

"We were wondering where you were," Alberta said, looking at me carefully.

"Sorry. I fell asleep. You should have known I'd show up for food," I said with a laugh.

"What were you doing in the gym?" Celeste asked softly.

I shrugged then whispered, "I just wanted to feel close to him, you know?"

Before I knew it, I was crying again, holding my napkin to my face while I tried to get my emotions under control. Thankfully one of the Guardians was telling a raucous story, so no one noticed. By the time he'd reached his punchline, I'd managed to stop my tears, so quickly served myself a huge plate of food.

The kitchens had gone all out. There was plenty of everything. I started with some delicious pork roast with applesauce and beans before moving on to roast pumpkin and sweet potato. I took a mouthful of the creamy scalloped potatoes but screwed up my nose, swallowing it quickly and pushing the rest to the side of my plate.

Alberta was speaking with Stan on her other side, but Celeste noticed.

"Potatoes no good?"

"Nah. They taste weird. Kind of metallic."

Celeste looked confused and then shrugged. "Kitchen must have stuffed up. Easy to do when having to cook so much," she said thoughtfully, looking down at her own plate and its partially eaten serve of scalloped potatoes.

Twenty minutes later, all the Guardians at the table bar Alberta stood up and cleared their settings. The serving staff brought out more platters of food, and fresh flatware, and the Guardians who'd eaten replaced those standing around the hall so that the second batch of Guardians could have their Christmas meal.

Eddie and Mason took the opportunity to change seats, coming down to sit with me.

"Good Christmas, guys?" I asked.

"Yep. I've got a few days off, and there's lots of food. I can't object!" Eddie said with a grin. Like me, Eddie was a bottomless pit.

"I'm sitting next to the prettiest girl in the room… I'm good," Mason said with a gallant bow.

We spent the next couple of hours demolishing an _obscene_ amount of food. After the second round of Guardians had eaten dinner, there was another swap and Celeste, and the others returned for dessert. I was actually feeling a little queasy by the end of dessert from _far_ too much to eat, so I used the final change over as an excuse to leave the table. Celeste had to guard while the other Guardians had their dessert, but she said she had a little present for me and asked if I'd be in my room a bit later.

I confirmed I had no plans other than dropping off Alberta's present and then lying on my bed moaning about eating too much! Eddie and Mason walked back to the dorms with me. They headed to Eddie's room, and I collected Alberta's present from mine. I went to her office, but she wasn't there, so I left it on her desk. It was labeled, so she'd know it was from me.

Back in my dorm room I plugged my phone in and flipped through the playlists. I wasn't sure what I wanted to listen to, so in the end, I put it on random. Eddie and Mason had invited me to join them, but I wasn't in the mood. It was Christmas, my love was God knows where, and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and forget about everything.

But I found myself eyes open lying on my side looking at the photo of Dimitri and I. The selfie he'd taken after he'd first taken me. I studied it carefully, taking in the minute details. His hairline. The tiny scar above one eyebrow. His full lips that I knew, from experience, delivered on their promise to be soft and gentle – at least when he wanted them to be!

Then I looked at myself. The blissful look on my face. I looked so happy, and I had been. We both had been. I had to focus on that. I was still lying there looking at my Russian God a little later when there was a knock at the door. Celeste.

"Wow! You've done some decorating since I was here last…" she commented, looking at my wall of Dimitri.

"No one else ever comes here," I explained. "I find it easier to sleep if I'm looking at him."

"Are they his clothes, too?" she asked, gesturing to the pile of laundered men's clothes.

"Well, they're definitely not Stan's," I joked feebly, a little embarrassed.

"Thank God. Stan's underwear I could live without seeing! So… Rose? It's been what eighteen days since Dimitri left?"

"Twenty," I automatically corrected.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like there's a hole in my chest you could drive a freight train through…"

"What about physically?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem very tired."

"Yeah, I am. I'm exhausted, and then I can't sleep and then I'm so tired the next day I'm just about falling asleep in class…"

"Feeling spewy?"

"A bit…"

"Sense of smell gone up tenfold?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Crying at the drop of a hat?"

"Yeah – but my boyfriend has been sent on a suicide mission," I defended, starting to get angry now.

"Vivid dreams?"

"Yes… Why?"

"And you said food is tasting metallic?"

"Not _all_ food – just the scalloped potatoes…" I said crossly.

"Are your breasts particularly sore?"

"Yes…" I said, looking at her in confusion. "They've been aching for a week. My lower back, too."

"Have you had a period recently?"

"Um… Not since Dimitri left…?"

Celeste nodded, not looking surprised. "Rose? I want you to go to the bathroom and take these. I can come with you if you want?"

She handed me a brown paper bag. I'd kind of guessed where she was headed, so I wasn't surprised to see three pregnancy tests inside.

"Celeste? I _can't_ be. I've only ever had sex with Dimitri…"

"Then let's rule it out. It's just you have a _lot_ of the early symptoms."

"Oh God – how did you get these?" I gasped. Pregnancy tests weren't exactly in the standard issue Dhampir toiletries kit.

"I asked Dr. Olendzki."

"Shit! What did she say!?"

"Not a thing. I said they're for a friend, but she thinks they're for me," Celeste smirked. "Come on, let's get this over with," she said standing from my bed and gesturing for me to do likewise. She followed me across the hall to the Novice bathroom.

"Do you want me to stay?" she asked gently.

"Yes," I whispered. I was petrified. I was trying to remember when I'd last had my period and I couldn't. It had been quite some time. At least a week or so before my weekend away with Dimitri.

Celeste used her Guardian key to lock the door to the bathroom.

"Don't want to be interrupted during this," she muttered. Then she stood to one side as I washed my hands and took the bag with the tests into a cubicle.

"Just do one at first and then the others if you need to," Celeste suggested. It was a good idea. Obediently I fished out the first test, read the instructions and peed on the end. I was careful not to empty my bladder in case I needed to do a second test. I carefully replaced the cap and exited the cubicle.

"The morning urine is most concentrated, so if this is negative then we can try in a few more days with your first pee after waking up if you don't get your period," Celeste suggested quietly, timing the test on her watch and carefully not making eye contact with me. "How does this one work?"

"A control line which comes up first to show the test is working," I explained, "followed by a second line if it's positive. It takes three minutes."

We stood side by side until Celeste said, "It's been three minutes, Rose."

I turned the test over and looked. And looked again. And then again. There was a clear pink control line. And just a little bit further along a second line.

"Nooo…" I said, my eyes wide. "That's not possible!"

"Keep calm," Celeste said, but I could tell she wasn't surprised. "Take the other two tests."

I didn't need to be told twice. I was back in that cubicle and peeing on the remaining two tests within moments. One was electronic, so that was easy, and the other one was similar to the first put would show a little plus sign if it was positive.

I exited the cubicle a second time, placing the second and third tests beside the first. The electronic one beeped. The LED panel clearly read 'Pregnant.' So it was no great shock when the third had a little plus showing in the indicator panel.

I looked at Celeste.

"How is this possible? I mean it – I really have only ever been with Dimitri. That weekend… it was my first time…" And as farfetched as it seemed, I think Celeste believed me.

"I don't know, Rose. Let's clean all this up. You don't want to leave any of this lying around," she murmured, helping me dump all the test packaging into the empty bag. "Keep the tests – you'll need to show Dr. Olendzki."

" _Show_ her?"

"Oh Rose," Celeste said sympathetically. "No matter _what_ you decide to do, you're going to have to talk with the doctor."

"I guess so," I said faintly. I hadn't got that far yet. I was so shocked. Celeste had to use her Guardian key to open the door to my room as I was standing there just looking at it.

"Rose? I know this is a big surprise. Would you like me to call Alberta? She'll need to know. Or Lissa?"

"NO!" I squealed. "Not today! Not yet! I don't want _anyone_ to know yet."

"Ok, that's fine," she placated. "I promise you I won't say a word. But in the meantime, if you're planning to proceed with the pregnancy then there's vitamins you need to take, and things you need to know. You should start taking them as soon as possible – did you want me to get some for you?"

"Yes," I whispered. "Please?"

"No problem. We'll skip training tomorrow morning, and I'll borrow an Academy car and go get them."

"Celeste?" I asked, my voice quivering. "How did this happen? I really haven't been with anyone but Dimitri. And we're both Dhampir…?"

"I don't know, but I doubt three tests are wrong. Maybe ask Dr. Olendzki when you see her?"

I curled up on my bed, bringing my knees up, so there was space for Celeste to sit on the end. I reached out and touched the photo of Dimitri and I.

"You're going to be a Daddy, Comrade. Tasha said you've always hoped to be a father and somehow it's coming true. You need to come back, because it's not just me, now. There's two of us waiting for you."

And then I curled up tight and cried. Celeste rubbed my leg for a while before coming around and lying behind me, spooning me. It wasn't weird or sexual – it was one friend consoling another, and it helped. She didn't say anything, and neither did I. But eventually, I cried myself out and sleep took me again.

* * *

It was 4 pm. Early, vampire time. I'd woken to find myself alone, but there was a note from Celeste.

 _Those things are in your top drawer. I have taken the packaging and will dispose of it. Am going off campus this morning to get a few things and will see you when I get back. Promise I won't tell anyone, Celeste._

I was completely unfeeling. I kept expecting to wake up and find this was all a dream. But I knew it wasn't. Thinking back, I think very deep down I'd suspected it before Celeste had suggested I test. I was seventeen. My boyfriend was gone and almost certainly never coming back. I had a grand total of $170 to my name. And I was pregnant. I opened my laptop. If anything deserved an e-mail to my Russian God, it was this. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing new in my inbox, so I opened a new window.

 _Dear Comrade,  
I want to start by telling you I love you. Because once you see what I'm about to write, I doubt you'll read any further. So I love you. And I'm always going to love you. Even if you believe nothing else, know I adore you. With everything I am._

 _And it turns out everything I am is a little more than I thought. Last night Celeste made me do a pregnancy test (well three of them actually), and I'm expecting. I'd say 'we,' but if I find it hard to believe that you and I made a baby together, I can't expect you to just accept my word for it._

 _But believe it or not, that's what's happened. I'm not sure how, but you were my first and have remained my only. So I know the baby is ours, even if no one else believes me. Even you._

 _I'm freaking out, Comrade. For all my talk of 'when Dimitri comes home' I understand the chances of that happening aren't great. And even if you do, what's the likelihood of you believing that somehow the impossible happened for us?_

 _Celeste said there're vitamins I need to be taking and things I need to know, so she's taking a Guardian car out this morning to get me what I need. I'm so grateful she's here because there's honestly no one else I can talk to, other than you._

 _I don't know what to do. I just looked up online, and if I use 12/4 as the date our miracle happened, then I'm due the end of August. Maybe I can make it through to the end of May without people knowing so I can graduate? Not that I'll be able to guard with a newborn, but maybe I can take a few months off and then start work as soon as the baby is old enough to go to daycare? Do they even_ _ **have**_ _daycare for babies?!_

 _I wish you were here. You're always so calm and in control, and I could use some of that right now. And I miss you, even more so now._

 _I love you, Comrade. And even though I'm terrified, I already love our little Christmas surprise, too. In some stupid way, it helps to know that I have a tiny piece of you with me. Something from us._

 _All my love,  
Your Roza_


	19. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 19

I was sitting staring at the wall still a couple of hours later when Celeste knocked. I opened the door wearing one of my Russian God's St Basil's shirts.

"One of Dimitri's?" she asked softly. Not a hard guess, given it had Cyrillic writing and hung almost to my knees.

"I can't remember if it's the wrestling one or the track and field one," I wailed, dissolving into tears. "He did tell me…" Fuck! I didn't even know why I was crying. This was ridiculous!

Closing the door and sitting on my bed, Celeste reached into the large bag she was carrying and fished out a large block of chocolate.

"Let's start with the staple of pregnancy food!" she said with a kind smile. I broke a large hunk off and passed it to her, and we sat together chowing down on chocolate as she went through the rest of her purchases. It looks as though she'd bought half the drug store.

"Prenatal vitamins," she said, showing me the first large plastic bottle. "Take two a morning every morning. I also got you ginger tablets for morning sickness if you get it, these for indigestion if you get that and finally you might end up needing these for constipation," she said with an apologetic smile.

"Right…"

"Also there's a whole heap of things you shouldn't be eating. It's explained in the early chapters of this book," she said, handing me a dog-eared copy of 'What to Expect When You're Expecting.' "There are other books which are good for labor and delivery, but maybe wait until you're a bit further along for those," she advised, "They can be a bit scary at first!"

I was looking at Celeste thankfully when an errant thought crossed my mind. How did she know so much about all of this? I looked at her trying to phrase the question, but my face must have given it away. She looked torn.

"The book is a little old now because it's mine, but I don't need it anymore," she said finally, picking at a thread on my quilt cover and not meeting my eyes.

"You mean…?"

"Yeah. When I was nineteen."

We sat in silence for a little while. I wasn't sure whether she wanted me to ask.

"She's eight, now," Celeste said very quietly. "She lives with my parents, and they're raising her as my sister. She doesn't know, but Stella is mine." I looked up to see a single tear on Celeste's cheek. I reached across and brushed it away. "No one but Alberta knows, so I'm trusting you to keep it to yourself."

"I will," I vowed. "So that's why they visit every Christmas, and you go there every year?"

"I go for her school holidays," she said nodding. "And she's going to be coming here to school when she's eleven."

"Are you looking forward to it?"

"I can't wait," Celeste grinned. "They'll be here tomorrow so you'll get to meet her then."

"Her father…?"

"Is an oxygen thief, who I'd happily stake in his sleep if I knew I could get away with it," Celeste said with a scary look on her face. "I'll tell you about him sometime, but not today."

We each took another piece of chocolate.

"The book is for human pregnancies, but it's all pretty much the same. Dhampirs tend to have fewer complications than humans, but other than that there's no real difference. You'll need to be careful not to overdo your exercise and be very careful when you're sparring. I'll obviously avoid your stomach when we practice, but you're going to need to let Alberta know so she can rearrange your schedule. Have you worked out when you're due?"

"The last week of August," I said.

"You need to see a Dr around ten to twelve weeks," Celeste explained. "Dr. Olendzki might be able to do what's needed – although I'm not sure if they'll have the equipment on campus. You might need to go to Missoula."

"Is it scary?" I asked. "Being pregnant and having a baby?"

"A little," Celeste admitted. "I had Mom to talk with, and that helped a lot. I know there's not a lot of Moms on campus, so you can talk to me about stuff. I'm no expert, but at least I have a little first-hand experience," she said with a self-deprecating smile.

I stopped to think about it. I actually couldn't think of _any_ woman on campus who was a mother. Some of the Dhampir women in the kitchen might be, but none of the Guardians were that I knew of, the same for the female Moroi on campus.

"So you've decided to go ahead with the pregnancy?"

"Yes. I know if Dimitri were here he'd want us to keep it."

Celeste looked conflicted. "You're right; I'm sure he would. But Rose? He's _not_ here, and he's probably not coming back."

"I know," I whispered, my tears starting again. "Which is all the more reason to keep our baby. He'll live on through them. Our love will live on through them."

"That's very romantic, but how are you going to _support_ this baby? Where will you live?! You can't work when you're caring for a new baby, but you need to work so you can support you both." I hated her for it, but Celeste was right. I needed to think about practicalities.

"I don't know," I said, looking at her plaintively. "But I can't kill it."

Celeste shrugged and looked at me with understanding. "I know. Neither could I."

* * *

Twelve hours later, 4 am, I got a message from Lissa.

 _Going ice skating near the cabin with Christian and Tasha. Want to come?_

Celeste had left hours ago, and I couldn't sit in my room for the rest of my life, so I texted back.

 _Sure. Will get some skates and see you there!_

The gym had a storage room packed with skates, so I headed down there and grabbed a pair in my size. Skating was another Christmas tradition for Lissa and I. We used to do it every year after Christmas dinner and the next day. I was almost at the gym when it struck me – next Christmas Lissa would be at Lehigh, and I'd be somewhere else with a four-month-old baby.

I was going to have to tell her, but I had no idea how.

By the time I got to the cabin, Lissa and Christian were already on the ice. They looked beautiful together gliding around in the moonlight. So happy. They were holding hands and whizzing across the ice. I wonder whether that's how Dimitri and I would have looked if we'd ever had the chance to skate together? I wasn't a bad skater and growing up where he did, I'm sure Dimitri could skate, too. I sat beside Tasha on a log, swapping my combat boots for skates.

"They look gorgeous, don't they?" Tasha said, correctly interpreting part of the direction of my thoughts.

"Yeah, they do." It was nice to see Lissa so happy.

Coming back to the Academy had been harder on her than I. Sure, I'd borne the brunt of the nasty comments and punishments, but she'd suffered the emotional trauma of being betrayed by the man she considered her uncle. Not to mention, unlike me, she was unused to being thought of poorly or being on the outer with her peers. Christian had brought her out of her shell, and being a royal Moroi himself had been there for her in ways I couldn't.

"She's good for him," Tasha smiled.

"He's good for her, too," I replied, and I meant it.

"I'm glad. With him graduating and going off to college with her, I feel I can let go a bit, you know? Maybe move on with things a bit myself."

I'd never considered how becoming legal guardian to a six-year-old when she was twenty must have affected Tasha. It was a lot of responsibility when she was just starting out herself. Then again, given what I was going to be doing soon, maybe it was best I didn't think about that right now.

"You must be excited about going to Lehigh?" she asked.

"Yeah I guess so," I said, without much enthusiasm. Now I knew it wasn't going to happen, I didn't want to waste mental energy thinking about it. "I just hope I have decent guarding partners," I said absently.

Tasha looked at me carefully. She hadn't mentioned her proposal for Dimitri to me, Christian had. I could tell she was wondering whether I knew.

"I have no idea who they've got slated to guard Christian, but being out of wards I think we'll need a team of at least six to guard the two of them," I continued.

"You have to work very closely with the other Guardians, don't you?" Tasha said, looking at Lissa and Christian as they attempted a few lifts.

"Yeah. That's why I'm hoping they don't allocate idiots."

"I suppose after training to work with Dimitri, it must be hard for anyone else to come up to scratch…" She was talking casually, but the way Tasha was looking at me was anything but.

"Yeah. Although I'm hoping the others will enjoy music written this century!" I joked. "Come on – you skating?"

I stood up now my skates were laced and moved out onto the ice at the edge of the frozen lake. Lissa and Christian had been on the far side but were now approaching where I stood.

" _There_ you are!" Lissa said with a smile. "Where were you at Christmas Dinner? We waited for ages, and you didn't come?"

"Sorry, Liss. I fell asleep, and by the time I woke up you lot were already seated, so I sat with the Guardians. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah I did," she said with a smile. "It was nice having a family Christmas again," she said shyly.

I brushed her mind with mine, and I could tell she meant it. She'd had her best Christmas since her family had died, and I was grateful to Sparky and Tasha for having made it so wonderful for her. She took my hand and pulled me out beside her and on the ice while Christian tightened his laces and talked with Tasha near the edge.

"Thanks so much for the shoe thing with Christian. He felt awful. He was just so worried about getting the right gifts for Tasha and me he forgot all about it. It's our first Christmas together…" she trailed off.

"No big deal," I said with a smile. "I didn't need anything anyway, so no point him wasting his money."

"We didn't get a chance to do our snow angels," she commented.

"Sorry. I ate so much at Christmas dinner I just went back to my room." And then discovered I'm pregnant, I mentally added.

"Is everything ok, Rose?" Lissa asked suddenly, stopping and turning towards me on the ice. We were on the other side of the lake now, away from Christian and Tasha. "I know I've been spending a lot of time with Tasha, but it doesn't mean I don't still care about you…"

"I'm ok," I said. "Just a lot on my mind. And I'm good with you spending time with Tasha. I know you and Christian are serious, so Tasha is going to be your family. You should spend time getting to know her."

I felt a wave of uncertainty and guilt coming through the bond. I knew Lissa, and there was something she wasn't telling me.

"Come on… spit it out," I ordered looking at her.

"The Lazars have a Chalet just over the border in Canada that they're going to for New Years. They invited Tasha, Christian and me to join them. I'd say no, but Tasha has been so upset about Guardian Belikov… she's been ringing and ringing, and he's not returning her calls. She really likes him and was hoping this might be their chance to be together. Christian thought being away from the Academy might help – and it would be nice for Christian and me to have some _private_ time before we have to knuckle down and study for our finals."

"It sounds great! You should _totally_ go. Is it warded? Will there be enough Guardians?"

"Yes, and yes," Lissa said. "Tasha is hoping Guardian Belikov might join us there. She thinks maybe he doesn't want to do anything so close to his workplace and maybe that's why he's not responding to her calls."

She sounded hopeful. Like a romance between Dimitri and Tasha would be a wonderful thing.

Oh, Lissa. If only you knew.

"Well he's very conscientious," I said, "if he's not calling, I'm sure he has a good reason." I had been psyching up the courage to tell her, but now was _definitely_ not the time. "So how long will you be going for?"

"I think the plan was to leave tomorrow and come back the day before classes start."

A day short of a fortnight. Longer than I was expecting.

"Well, it sounds like a great opportunity. You should go."

"But I'll be leaving you here alone."

"I won't be alone," I said truthfully. "Eddie and Mason are here. I'll probably spend the whole time in the gym training," I lied.

"You really don't mind?" Lissa asked shyly.

"Of _course_ not!" I said, putting on my biggest smile.

"I'm sorry you can't come too, but since I was only kind of invited by extension, I couldn't really ask…"

"Two weeks with stuffy royals looking down their noses at me?! No thanks!"

"I think Brandon might be disappointed you won't be there," Lissa teased. Brandon Lazar was in our year and lived a few doors down from Christian's dorm room. He was actually likable enough, as far as royal Moroi went, despite some of the company he kept. Still, the idea of doing anything with him was grotesque.

"He'll live," I said dryly, causing Lissa to smirk with amusement.

We skated back around to the part of the lake closest to the cabin where Christian and Tasha were mucking around. I pretended not to see Christian's questioning look to Lissa and her almost imperceptible nod in return. Christian skated over and grabbed Lissa's hands, and the two of them skated off together, chattering in excitement about their holiday away. Tasha and I skated leisurely around the lake after them. We talked about nothing in particular, for which I was grateful. I knew she wanted to quiz me about Dimitri, but she must have sensed it wasn't the time.

The sky was just starting to lighten with the fake dawn when we finally decided to call it quits, taking off our skates and heading back to Tasha's cabin. She got the water boiling and was making us all hot chocolates when my phone rang.

"Rose? It's Alberta. I need you and Lissa to come to my office. Guardian Schoenberg is here, and we have something to tell you about Guardian Belikov."

My heart stopped.

"Guardian Schoenberg…?"

"Has been appraised of the situation with Ms. Ozera. It might be easier if she comes with you."

My heart started beating again. Not the worst, then. It must mean he'd been deployed.

"What about Guardian Belikov?" I asked out loud, for the benefit of the assembled company.

Tasha spun around and looked at me, her eyes blazing.

"You're with them now?" Alberta asked immediately catching on.

"Yes, that's right. Ok. Lissa and I will come see you now." I hung up the phone and turned to Lissa. "Alberta wants to see us both. Something about Dimitri?"

"What did she say?" Tasha demanded.

"Just that Guardian Schoenberg wanted to see Lissa and me about Guardian Belikov," I said, trying to look perplexed. "Come on, Liss. Schoenberg is not the sort of guy you keep waiting."

"Tasha is practically Dimitri's girlfriend. She should go too," Christian said loyally, looking at Tasha's ashen face. It didn't take a genius to appreciate any news coming from a Guardian as senior as Schoenberg probably wasn't good.

I shrugged. "Fine, just hurry up."

Wordlessly the four of us walked through the snow and up to the main campus. The sun was just rising and lit our way, but the mood was somber. I led; Tasha, Lissa, and Christian being unfamiliar with the Guardian parts of campus. I knocked at Alberta's door, surprised when Guardian Schoenberg opened it.

"Novice Hathaway," he greeted looking at me kindly. "Princess Dragomir?" he asked, bowing politely to Lissa.

"Yes, that's right," Lissa replied, her manners always impeccable even during a crisis.

"This is Lissa's boyfriend Christian Ozera and his aunt, Tasha Ozera. Tasha is visiting campus and she's an old friend of Guardian Belikov's," I explained.

"Please take a seat," he said gesturing to the sofa and chairs. I sat on a chair, Tasha took the sofa, flanked by Lissa and Christian.

"Princess Dragomir, Novice Hathaway. I know you've both been working with Guardian Belikov with the expectation of being his charge and guarding partner after graduation. I also appreciate you're under the impression he is on leave visiting his family. However, this is not the case. Three weeks ago Guardian Belikov left on a new allocation."

Lissa looked at me in confusion.

"I'm sorry you weren't told the truth, but the nature of Guardian Belikov's mission meant the utmost secrecy was required. Court has been receiving reports of a very large group of Strigoi assembling in Europe. Hundreds. I can't give you precise details, but Guardian Belikov was one of a number of senior Guardians sent to deal with the problem," Guardian Schoenberg explained.

The office was silent, each of us taking in the news in our own way. It was Tasha who broke the silence first.

"When is he expected back?"

Guardian Schoenberg looked to Alberta before replying.

"The mission is expected to be… difficult. It's not known if or when Guardian Belikov will be returning."

Tasha nodded, but I could see she hadn't grasped what he meant.

There was another pause before I heard my own voice say, "It's a suicide mission, isn't it? No one's expecting him to return."

Guardian Schoenberg looked at me with an unfathomable expression.

"That's right, Novice Hathaway. Her Majesty and the Royal Council weren't prepared to risk a larger force, so a smaller group is being sent, but the casualties are expected to be substantial. Her Majesty has made it clear no recovery mission will be considered."

"They're sending him there to die?" Lissa gasped, horrified. "To kill as many Strigoi as he can and if he lives, they'll just abandon him? That's not right!"

"The loss of a few to safeguard the many," I said, tears running down my face. "They come first. No matter what the cost, no matter what the sacrifice. Dimitri knew that – that was the first and last lesson he taught me."

"How can you just sit there and _accept_ this?! This is completely unfair and unjust!" Lissa said looking at me incredulously, eyes blazing.

"YES!" I bellowed, losing my temper big time at Lissa for the first time that I could remember. "It _is_ unfair. And it's _unjust_. And it's _wrong_. But this is the reality of my world, Lissa! This is what _happens_ to Guardians!"

We all sat there stunned. Lissa couldn't believe I'd shouted at her like that, and really neither could I! Christian was staring daggers at me, but he could go and get fucked as far as I was concerned.

"Did Dimitri know about the allocation? That he might not be coming back?" Tasha asked, also crying.

"He did Lady Ozera," Alberta said. "He made his preparations before he left."

"Do his family know?" Tasha sobbed, leaning against Christian's shoulder.

"They do," Alberta confirmed. "They understood the importance of secrecy, so agreed to go along with the story he was visiting them. I'm so sorry the truth couldn't be revealed earlier, but secrecy was and still is important. The longer this information can be contained, the better Guardian Belikov's chances are."

Tasha nodded.

"No one must speak of this," she said fervently, looking between Lissa, Christian and I. "You know how I feel about Dimitri. He _has_ to come back! I want you to all promise not to say a word to anyone."

Lissa and Christian nodded, and after a moment so did I.

"When are we likely to hear any news?" Tasha demanded.

"It's hard to say," Guardian Schoenberg replied. "As his most recent commanding officer, Guardian Petrov will be informed."

"If you leave your details before you leave campus, I'll certainly let you know if I hear anything," Alberta said to Tasha, standing to indicate the meeting was over. "I know this is a shock and I'm very sorry," she addressed us all. "Guardian Belikov has been a respected member of the team here, and his departure has already been felt keenly. Rose? Please stay behind? Guardian Schoenberg and I need to discuss details of your molnija ceremony."

I could have kissed Alberta's size six combat boots just then. The last thing I wanted was to listen to Tasha's carry-on about her imaginary relationship with my Russian God. The father of my baby. Guardian Schoenberg showed the three of them out and closed the door before coming to sit down on the chair beside mine.

"Rose? I can share a little more information with you now. The mission Dimitri is on… it's not expected to be a single battle. They've been split into groups to find out as much as they can about the main force and to try and diminish the number of Strigoi outside of the main stronghold. It is expected that eventually there will be a full confrontation, but for now, he is part of a small cell allocated to an area on the outskirts of the city where we know the Strigoi army is based. It could be days, weeks or even months before we hear anything."

"I understand. Thank you, Guardian Schoenberg," I said, as my heart crumbled within my chest.


	20. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 20

Lissa left for Canada the next day without saying goodbye. I wasn't sure whether it was because she was angry with me for shouting at her, or whether it was because I wasn't at breakfast. I didn't avoid breakfast _intentionally_ – I was just on my knees with my head hanging over a toilet bowl. It was like my stomach had decided that now my pregnancy had been confirmed, it was going to make sure I was in absolutely no doubt about it. In any case, by the time I'd emerged onto main campus at lunchtime, Lissa, Christian, and Tasha had already left with Brandon and his family.

I'd checked in with Alberta, and as Lissa had promised, the Lazar's chalet was going to be well guarded. As Royals, the family was already well served by Guardians, but since there were so many Moroi away from campus visiting their families, Alberta had managed to send an additional three Academy Guardians to help bolster security.

I was relieved. I understood as a guest herself Lissa hadn't been in a position to extend the invitation to include me. And if I was brutally honest about it, as long as she was well protected I was grateful for the break. My little discovery was never far from my mind, and I needed a little time to try and figure out what the hell I was going to do. Also, Tasha was starting to really irritate me. I just couldn't handle the way she was carrying on about Dimitri.

"Lissa looked upset this morning," Eddie said looking at me shrewdly as he ate his lunch.

"Oh?" I asked, giving nothing away.

"Yeah. Still, I suppose a couple of weeks off campus skiing with Christian will cheer her up," he added.

"Suppose so," I said with feigned disinterest, meanwhile eyeing the food in front of me suspiciously.

I'd read the first few chapters of the pregnancy book and on its advice was trying a bit of dry toast. Being the cafeteria, it was left over from breakfast, so it was cold and not particularly appetizing – but the book had made it clear I needed to eat. Nibbling at it cautiously, I was relieved when I was able to keep it down. In fact, my empty stomach welcomed it. So after finishing the first piece, I returned to get another three. Feeling adventurous I even spread a little butter on the last slice and was thrilled to find that it vastly improved the flavor.

"Why are you eating toast for lunch?" Mason asked, coming to sit beside me.

"Because I missed breakfast," I grumbled.

Mason laughed. He knew better than to stand between me or question me about food at the best of times.

"We're going to go skating after lunch, do you want to come?"

"Sure, why not," I mumbled. I was feeling pretty flat so could probably use some company.

Once we got to the lake, we found it busy. Turns out we weren't the only ones who'd thought to spend the afternoon on the ice. We'd been there for a couple of hours when I saw Celeste appear with a little girl. Stella, I realized. I skated over with Eddie and Mason.

"Hey, Celeste! Is this your sister Stella?" I asked, giving the little girl a friendly smile. "I'm Rose, and this is Eddie and Mason. Your sister has been _so_ excited about you coming to visit!" I said to her.

Stella was a dead ringer for Celeste, but given they were supposed to be sisters that was unremarkable. She was a pretty little thing, and Celeste was clearly delighted to have her here – both of them were grinning from ear to ear.

"Yep, this is Stella. Mom and Dad aren't into skating, but Stella and I love it," she said, gesturing over towards the edge where a Dhampir woman and Moroi man were sitting on one of the benches overlooking the lake. "We do it every Christmas, don't we Stell?"

"Sure do!" Stella laughed, grabbing Celeste's hands and laughing as Celeste spun her around and around on the ice.

"Wanna race? I think that my friend Mason and I can beat you and Celeste," I said to Stella, pointing to where Mason stood beside me. "Eddie? You can be the judge!"

"You're on!" Stella said after a confirmation nod from Celeste.

We all lined up, and on Eddie's mark we took off at breakneck speed around the frozen lake. It was quite some distance, and several groups stopped to watch as Stella, Celeste, Mason and I sped past. Mason was taking the race very seriously, so I skated closer beside him.

"Let the little kid win, Mase…"

"Aww? Do I _have_ to? When will _Mason_ get a chance to have a win?"

He wasn't talking about the skating, and we both knew it, but I didn't know what to say. _'Sorry Mase? I'm actually knocked up with my mentor's kid so you can pretty much rule out ever getting lucky with me…'_. Hmm. Maybe not.

"Ha ha, Mason. I don't think you could handle me if you got me," I joked, mucking around and doing a spin.

"I wouldn't count on it," I heard him mumble before he let the subject drop.

Stella and Celeste beat us by a few yards, much to the former's elation. Celeste shot me a thankful grin. We were all wind chapped and getting a little cold, so after a bit more mucking around we headed back to the cafeteria for cookies and warm drinks.

"Let me show you the secret to the best hot chocolate," I said to Stella, putting two sachets into her mug and filling it with water.

"Careful Stella, that will be hot," Celeste cautioned. She sounded like a mother - which I guess is because she was.

Would I be like that? Always looking out for my little person? I supposed I might be. I'd prefer that to being like my own mother. That was an area I hadn't let my mind wander to, yet. What sort of parent I'd make. It wasn't like I'd had any real examples growing up myself. Pushing the thought away to explore at another time, I tuned back into what was going on around me.

We were sitting at a table in the cafeteria along with Celeste's parents, Michelle and John. Both in their mid to late forties, I guess Michelle must have had Celeste when she was quite young. It was interesting to watch how they took a back seat, giving Celeste and Stella the opportunity to interact together as much as possible. I could hear Stella and Celeste talking. Stella wanted to see Celeste spar.

"Please, Celeste? I haven't seen you fight since I was really little. Mom said you got another three molnija, so you must be really good, now. Can I see you fight?"

Celeste's eyes flicked to mine and I gave a little nod.

"Mom?" Celeste looked at her mother Michelle. "Stella wants to see me fight this time. Rose and I practice together a lot, would it be ok if she came to watch us spar?"

Michelle smiled, "Of course, darling. Why don't you stay in guest housing with us tonight and you can take her to your morning training tomorrow? Stella's got a king sized bed – you can share with her. That way you can both head off before your father and I are up."

Ugh! That means I'd have to be up at the setting of the sun! Here's hoping my morning sickness stayed away. The only thing that made the prospect worthwhile was the excited grins on Celeste and Stella's faces. I noticed Celeste's father John didn't look thrilled about the plan. He looked as though he were about to say something, but Michelle silenced him with a loaded look.

"So tomorrow usual time at the gym?" Celeste asked ruefully. I could have suggested an afternoon session, but I had the feeling her mother had used the morning training session as an opportunity for Celeste to have a sleep over with Stella, and given the many kindnesses Celeste had already shown me, there was no way I was going to stand in the way of this opportunity for her.

"Yeah, sure thing," I said with a smile. "If I sleep in ring me to wake me up. I'll sleep with the phone next to me so I'll wake up!" I promised.

"Good luck with that," Mason chuckled. "Hathaway here has been known to sleep through fire drills in the past. And she was snoring in Stan's class the other day!"

"I'm surprised you _weren't_ ," I defended quickly. "Stan has the ability to make even an exciting Strigoi confrontation sound dull!"

Eddie laughed, but it was in commiseration. Like me, he'd been allocated a front row seat in Alto's class and he'd also fallen asleep in it more than once!

We chatted for half an hour until it was late afternoon. The hot chocolates finished, the party slowly disbanded. Mason and Eddie were going to play pool with fellow senior Novices Miles and Anthony. They asked me to join them, but I still hadn't forgiven Miles and Anthony for trying to feel me up in the dorm kitchen after the whole Jesse Zeklos thing.

"I'll pass," I said giving Mason a 'why the hell would you invite me to hang out with them' look. "I have washing to do."

It wasn't a complete fabrication. I had stuff I could wash. So I went back to my room and collected my washing hamper. Finding the laundry room deserted I set up my washing in a machine and headed back to my room to read another chapter of the book Celeste had given me. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't freaking me out, but this was happening - whether I was ready for it or not.

* * *

We'd made it to the Lazar's chalet, and Rose _still_ hadn't called to apologize. I understood she'd been upset by the news about Guardian Belikov. We _all_ had been. But that was no excuse for shouting at me. But what was worse was the way she'd made something already so horrible so much worse. Tasha hadn't deserved to hear her comments about it being a suicide mission, even if it _was_ true. It had been a cruel thing to say, and I thought a lot less of her for doing that - especially when Tasha had been nothing but kind to her.

"You're thinking about Rose again, aren't you?" Christian asked, looking up from the book he'd been reading.

"How can you tell?" I asked, momentarily lost in his ice blue eyes.

"Because I can feel you tensing up."

And that made me even angrier. Christian and I were meant to be relaxing and enjoying a romantic getaway together. Other than the three hours in the chapel attic before dinner, and Saturday and Sunday afternoons, we never had any _real_ time alone together. Here we were in a beautiful chalet, being spoiled in every way imaginable, and Rose was ruining it without even being here!

Tasha was barely leaving her room. She wasn't saying much, but it's obvious she and Guardian Belikov must have had an understanding. She'd mentioned how she'd been waiting for Christian to graduate first. I didn't say anything about that to Christian. I knew he felt bad enough that Tasha had had to take him on when she was barely an adult herself - it would destroy him if he knew Guardian Belikov and Tasha had been deferring their happiness for years because of him, especially now it looked as though their time together would never come.

I knew I'd have to speak with Rose once we returned to campus, but for now, I was glad we had this time away from one another. Maybe it's because she'd never been in love herself so didn't understand putting someone else first, but I was sick of her selfishness. It was high time she stopped thinking about herself at every juncture and started thinking about _other_ people for a change.

* * *

The place we were staying was dismal. It made a roach-infested hovel sound like a significant step up. But as a base, it suited our needs perfectly. We were in a dilapidated block of units surrounded by prostitutes, drug addicts and other rejects of society who didn't even look at us sideways. There were six of us staying in a two-bedroom unit. We'd rented it for a month, and it had been empty, so we'd furnished it with six single fold out beds, six plastic outdoor chairs, and a second-hand television.

Yaroslav was our cell leader. I knew him from St. Basil's, and he was decent guy. A couple of years older than me, he was quiet but dedicated. While we didn't have an official second, that role had fallen to me – probably because I was the only other native speaker on the team. Eugene was Ukrainian, so he could understand a lot of what was said in Russian, but as soon as he opened his mouth, it was clear he wasn't local. Alan was American, Liam Irish, and Stefano Italian. We could all speak English, but when it came to negotiating or speaking in Russian, Yaroslav and I handled everything.

Our job was simple – we'd been sent into the shadiest area of Novosibirsk to try and find out as much about the Strigoi army as we could. We'd known that they were based outside the city, but not exactly where. So we went out at night to hunt Strigoi in order to inveigle information from them. We'd only found and killed a couple, but from that, we'd been able to determine the Strigoi stronghold was on the northern edge of Novosibirsk.

Based where we were in the seediest part of Novosibirsk, we'd expected to find numerous Strigoi. Squalid areas of human misery attracted Strigoi like flies to honey. The pickings were easy, and for some reason, the nastiest areas of town always had the best nightclubs – so naïve Moroi often found their way here for a walk on the wild side. Sometimes their last. So what was noteworthy was the absence of Strigoi. The two we'd found, so far, were rogues; not part of the army that was being assembled. The first knew nothing at all. Previously Moroi, he'd recently turned by choice, killing during the feeding process. As ignorant Strigoi as he'd likely been Moroi, he was genuinely astounded when it dawned on him that six Dhampir were about to send him to meet his maker.

The second had a little more information. Strigoi a lot longer than the first, the former Guardian was able to tell us the general direction of the Strigoi stronghold - they were based at an historic estate north of the city. He also revealed we weren't the only ones in Novosibirsk hunting Strigoi. Whoever was assembling this army was demanding complete loyalty. As well as turning humans, Dhampir and Moroi to join their cause, they were recruiting heavily from within the existing Strigoi population. Their offer was as simple as it was effective. Join their army or die. Of course, this Strigoi died anyway, but as Liam pulled his stake from its heart, and the red faded from its eyes, for just a moment it smiled and looked at peace.

Now we were away from the main group, my thoughts were turning more and more often to ringing Rose. While we'd each been forbidden to contact anyone, it would be easy enough to slip away and use a public phone. I was _aching_ to hear her voice. At night when I was lying in my flimsy fold out bed I'd close my eyes and imagine her lying beside me, her gorgeous silken locks framing her exquisite face as she rested her head on my chest. We were keeping Vampire hours, hunting at night and sleeping during the day, but sleep was proving elusive for me. I'd lie in bed, waiting for the others to fall asleep before pulling out my precious photos, gazing at them for hours.

The only thing stopping me from calling her, consequences be damned, was knowing it would drag out the inevitable. Now we were here, it was becoming obvious the army was larger than initially understood. What had been reported as several hundred looked as though it might be closer to double that number. Most of the information flowed one way, Yaroslav being told to use a different public phone every dawn to call in his report. However yesterday Saunders had fed back a little, letting Slav know some of the information garnered from the other cells.

Not all of us had yet been deployed. Half were still at the Church. Five cells of six Guardians had been sent out to known Strigoi hotspots around the city, each with the same mission as us. It was concerning that one cell had failed to report in yesterday, and when an investigation was made, their quarters and belongings had been abandoned but there were signs of a struggle. It seemed unlikely that anything other than a Strigoi attack could take down six highly ranked Guardians, so it was impossible not to come to the conclusion that the Strigoi had become aware of our presence. Which led me back to Rose. My darling Roza.

While I yearned for her while I was awake and sleeping, calling her would be selfish knowing my chances of coming home to her were even smaller than I'd thought. All it would do was break her heart again in order to soothe my own. And I couldn't do that to her. I loved her too much to force even more heartache upon her. She'd know by now I'd been deployed. Her friends would know the truth about me leaving and what we meant to one another. I trusted them to surround her with love to support her through this. The best thing I could do was leave her to move on with her life now it was becoming clear I wasn't going to get the chance to be a part of it.


	21. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 21

By some miracle, I was up on time the next morning _and_ not spewy. I got up, threw my workout clothes on, and headed to the gym. Celeste and Stella were already there, Celeste showing her 'sister' around, going through naming the equipment and explaining how it worked. I stood and watched the two of them unobserved for a moment, noticing the way Celeste's eyes never left Stella, even when her back was turned. The apparently instinctive way Celeste's hand reached out to touch her whenever she was next to her.

Turning and spotting me in the doorway, Stella called out in excitement "Hi Rose! Celeste said you're a really good fighter – one of the best there is. But I know she's going to beat you!" She was right. Even if I had to lie down on the mat and faux stake myself, I had _no_ intention of trying to win this match, and Celeste knew it. By unspoken agreement, I knew we'd make this as showy as possible but avoid any moves that actually did any real damage.

"You ok if we play some music?" Celeste asked. Usually, I chose the morning music and she the afternoon, but since she had her phone in her hand, I happily acquiesced. I had a giggle when the first track came on. It was an 80s hit, but I knew it – and _not_ from Dimitri's tunes! 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' by Cyndi Lauper.

We squared up inside the sparring square, Celeste explaining the basic rules to Stella. There were actually several types of sparring we could do. Point sparring, the most official type Guardians used, was overkill in this situation, so we'd be doing simple takedown sparring – where one opponent managed a faux thrust to the heart with an imaginary stake. Not that taking down a Strigoi with a stake was _that_ easy, as I'd discovered.

We started the fight, Celeste immediately going on the offensive. She used quite a few intricate and elaborate moves which I would have countered in seconds, had it been a real spar, and then I took a turn doing likewise. To the uninitiated it would have looked like a real fight – but had an experienced Novice or Guardian been looking they'd have picked it as a show fight. To begin with, no one was wincing in pain!

We sparred through 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and straight into 'Sisters are Doing It For Themselves.' We were approaching the end of the song when Celeste gave me a look, and I prepared myself to be taken down. She gave me an obvious tell, looking twice at my right knee. Knowing where she planned to 'attack' I made sure I was in the right position to fall painlessly. Seconds later I fell to the mat following her blow. She staked me, and I was 'dead' – Stella shouting and cheering from the sidelines.

"You're _awesome!"_ Stella squealed in celebration to a bashful looking Celeste. "I don't care _what_ Dad says! I want to be a Guardian just like you!" Celeste gave Stella a quick cuddle before suggesting she do three laps of the gym while we timed her.

"Dad's old school about Dhampir women," Celeste explained. "Mom was pregnant with me straight out of school. He never thought I should have trained as a Guardian, and when I fell pregnant with Stella – well it just confirmed things in his mind. He thinks all Dhampir women should devote their time to being mothers."

"That's so backward and sexist! Dhampir women should be free to do whatever they want! It's opinions like that which make me glad to be training to be a Guardian!" I said quietly but with vehemence. Celeste raised an eyebrow and then I remembered. I was not even out of school and already pregnant. I was the archetypal Dhampir woman as far as people like Celeste's father were concerned.

We were packing up, Stella helping excitedly when Celeste pulled me aside apprehensively. "I know you were hoping to have your molnija done without any fuss… but with my family here Stella _really_ wants to see me being inked. Alberta said she was ok with making a bit of a show of it and having my family watch, but I should check with you as they'd do yours at the same time."

"What sort of a show and when?" I asked nervously.

"Tomorrow and just a few Guardians and my family? Alberta might say a few words and maybe a cup of tea and scones afterward?" she said looking apologetic. "Just in the Guardian lounge."

"No Novices or student Moroi?" I wasn't fussed about Guardians or her family attending; I just didn't want everyone on campus knowing.

"No students unless you invite them," she promised. "Would that be ok? I mean, this will be my third ceremony and I know it's your first so I don't want to go against how you want it…"

"Provided there're no uninvited students there, I really don't care," I explained. "I'd rather it wasn't even mentioned to the other students, and for me to just have molnija once school starts."

"Thanks, Rose. Have a think if there's anyone you _do_ want there. Your friends or your Mom?"

I laughed. Ironically this was probably the only event my mother might actually _want_ to attend. A Novice earning molnija was rare enough. Earning _three_ fighting alongside Art Schoenberg was the stuff of legends for Novices. I was glad it was going to be tomorrow. Not enough time for her to get here even had she been able to get the time off. I wondered whether perhaps I should invite Mason and Eddie. They didn't know what had happened, but I should probably tell them before I just rocked up with molnija. I was spared inviting Lissa as she was away. And the only one I _really_ wanted there, Dimitri, couldn't be.

In the end, I told Eddie and Mason over breakfast the following morning. Eddie had asked why I wasn't demolishing everything in sight like I usually did. I casually said, "I'm just a bit nervous. I'm getting molnija today."

"You're getting _what?!"_ Mason hissed. Eddie's head nearly snapped off his neck he spun to face me that quickly.

"Molnija. Three of them. I might not have mentioned, but when I had my Qualifier, Guardian Matthews and I walked into an attack. There were eleven Strigoi, and I killed three," I said softly looking at the table. "I didn't want to make a big deal about it. Anyway, the ceremony is at 10.30 pm if you want to come? In the Guardian lounge."

Mason nodded but looked troubled. "How could you not tell us, Rose? That was a week ago?!"

"I'm sorry. It's all just been a lot to deal with, so I've just been processing through it, you know?"

"I do, but it's a hell of a secret to keep," he said, looking at me carefully. "What else aren't you telling us?"

"Oh Duckie, you have no idea," I murmured, aiming for joviality but falling short.

The ceremony wasn't too bad. There were maybe fifteen Guardians, Michelle, John, and Stella as well as Mason and Eddie. Alberta gave a short speech, giving a basic outline of the series of events. My eyes flicked to Eddie and Mason when she mentioned Guardian Arthur Schoenberg had been the one to administer my Qualifier. Another fact I'd neglected to tell them. Eddie looked impressed, but Mason even more troubled.

Celeste stepped up to be tattooed first, three molnija being added to her existing three. It was done in a matter of moments. And then it was my turn. Sitting in front of Lionel he was very kind.

"I'll put them in a column on the left and leave room for your promise mark. This will sting a little," he warned before counting me in. "I'll start in three, two, one…" It did sting, but not unbearably. Certainly nowhere near as much as the pain of knowing that Dimitri should be here watching me with pride but wasn't.

I was nibbling on a plain scone afterward, having shaken hands with those present. Mason and Eddie were standing to one side talking uncomfortably.

"Rose? What's happening? It's like you're here, but mentally you're miles away. What's wrong? You know you can trust us with _anything_ , right?" Mason looked concerned but determined.

"I know," I whispered, seeing him notice the tears welling up in my eyes. "And when I can I will," I promised.

Neither of them looked particularly satisfied with that as a response, but it was the best they were going to get – at least for now.

* * *

 _Comrade,  
I know you've been deployed now and all I can think about is where you might be and what you might be facing. It's hard to function when I know you're probably in danger and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Alberta told Lissa, Christian, Tasha and I about your reallocation after Christmas. Guardian Schoenberg was there, and once the others left, he told me you'd been deployed and a little about what you were doing. I'm worried, Comrade. I'm trying not to, but I just want you home with me and safe._

 _I got my molnija last week. I wanted it low-key, and it was. I told Eddie and Mason, and they came, but other than that it was just Celeste's family and a few Academy Guardians._

 _It's been a fortnight since I discovered we're going to be parents. Well, I guess that I am going to be. The shock has now almost worn off. Celeste got me a pregnancy book to read, and I've been learning all about what's going on. It's really interesting and kind of cool, and then I remember this is all happening inside me and I freak out!_

 _I'm seven weeks today, and Junior (that's what I'm calling him or her for now) is the size of a grain of rice. It seems weird that something so tiny has me heaving into the toilet as soon as I wake up every day, but it does. I knocked off a box of crackers from the dorm kitchen, and if I eat a couple and have a glass of water before I get out of bed, it seems to help. I'm still training, and that's going ok. Celeste is careful when we spar although Junior is apparently tucked down behind my pubic bone so is pretty safe. I've been feeling so tired, though. And forgetful._

 _Classes start back tomorrow, which means Christian, Lissa and Tasha will be back from their ski trip today. When Alberta told us about your reallocation, Tasha was carrying on and crying, and it all got a bit much. I shouted at Lissa when she asked me how I could just accept it. I haven't seen Lissa since as the three of them left for a skiing trip in Canada with the Lazars the next morning. I've checked on Lissa through the bond, and she seems to be having a good time, but she's still pissed at me. I'll apologize when I see her. I can't be angry with her for not being more understanding when she doesn't know the truth._

 _Speaking of knowing the truth, I've decided to wait until twelve weeks to tell anyone about Junior. The book says up until then the chance of losing it is still pretty high, so there's no point upsetting anyone until I know the pregnancy will most likely progress. There are tests and an ultrasound I have to get done around that time, so if I make it as far as the end of the first trimester, I'll tell Alberta. I'm dreading it, but it's not like I can hide this forever._

 _I'm trying to keep my spirits up, but it's not been easy. I never thought I'd say I was welcoming classes starting again tomorrow, but I am. Anything to fill the long days and take my mind off how worried I am about you and how much I miss you._

 _Because I love you, Comrade and I do miss you so much. Every day it hurts, and it isn't getting better. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, all I want is you._

 _All my love, your  
Roza_

I stared at the screen through tears and pressed send. It was the first email I'd sent him in a while - but honestly, I'd been too upset to do so before. I'd played it down in the e-mail, but the last fortnight had been hell. Without classes to distract me, I'd been alternating between freaking out about Dimitri's deployment and freaking out about being pregnant. Neither of which I was in a position to tell anyone about. Mason and Eddie were doing their best with me, but I could tell they were worried. I was being super moody, and not particularly pleasant to be around. They thought it had something to do with my falling out with Lissa, so I didn't enlighten them otherwise.

Speaking of Lissa, she was back. I could sense her proximity via the bond. I guess that meant Christian and Tasha were back, too. The original plan was for Tasha to stay until classes resumed, so I was hopeful that nothing had changed. With Dimitri's reallocation known, she had no reason to stay on now.

I sighed. It was coming up to dinner time, and I knew Lissa wouldn't be satisfied until I apologized, so I got dressed, covered the bags under my eyes with a little makeup and headed for her room. My quick probe through the bond suggested she was alone, which was probably best. Drawing in my breath, I psyched myself up and knocked.

"Rose!" Lissa said with a slightly forced smile when she opened the door.

"Hey, Liss – how was your ski trip?" I asked as naturally as I could. I could tell Lissa had actually missed me a bit, but her overriding feeling was still that she'd been wronged.

"It was ok. Tasha barely left her room the whole time, so she wasn't much company," she admitted candidly.

I shrugged trying to come up with something to say which wasn't insincere. I settled for "She's no doubt processing…" Lissa appeared slightly mollified by that, so I quickly continued, "Speaking of which I'm sorry for shouting at you the other night. It wasn't necessary. I want you to know it's not that I accept what's happened to Dimitri. I'm very upset by it, which is probably why I shouted. But I also meant it when I said that this is what happens to Guardians, Lissa. It's what he trained for and me too. But I'm _devastated_ it's happened to him," I admitted.

Lissa could obviously see the sincerity in my eyes. That and the tears.

"I sometimes forget you spent a lot of time with him, too," she said, understanding for the first time that I had also had a loss.

"At least five hours a day every day including weekends," I said shakily. "We got to know each other very well in that time."

I looked at her, willing her to read a bit more into what I was saying. To maybe start to get an idea of just _how_ close Dimitri and I had become. Then I could maybe explain how like had turned to love, which in turn had somehow resulted in the rice-sized legacy nestled in my uterus.

"Maybe you should talk with Tasha?" Lissa said thoughtfully, her thoughts taking an entirely different direction to that I'd hoped. "She's _heartbroken_ about what's happened. She hasn't said much other than she was waiting for Christian to graduate before moving on with things. I'm guessing she and Dimitri had planned this for some time? She might find it comforting to speak someone else who knew Dimitri well?"

"I'm not sure that would help," I said. Noticing Lissa's eyes narrow slightly I quickly continued, "I think it's best I let Tasha come to me if she wants to talk. I'd hate to intrude on a difficult time for her."

Lissa bought it, so I guess I was getting better at my Guardian mask.

"You're right," she said after a moment. "I just feel awful for her, Rose. She's given up so much to be there for Christian – especially in the years before he started at St. Vlad's. It seems cruel that her happiness with Guardian Belikov was over before it even started." And in that, I had no trouble agreeing with her. Although I was thinking of my _own_ love affair with Dimitri.

Lissa was much more friendly after that, spending the next hour unpacking her suitcases and loading her clothes into the hamper for the laundry service all the while telling me about her time away. She said Brandon was actually quite nice, and he and Christian had become friendly while they were visiting.

"With Tasha in her room and Brandon and Christian hanging out it got a little boring towards the end," she admitted. "But I'm glad Christian has a male friend to hang out with," she added loyally. "He needs that."

"So when is Tasha planning to head home?" I asked as casually as I could.

"She's flying out tonight. In fact, I need to head over there now. We're having a family dinner in her cabin tonight before she leaves."

She didn't say it, but the slight emphasis on 'family' made it clear I wasn't invited. I was grateful. While my dinners had yet to make a reappearance, I did get rather queasy at times. Dhampirs didn't often get sick, so explaining it away if I chundered would take some doing.

"Sure thing. Well, tell her I said hi, and I'll see her at Graduation," I smiled easily, relieved beyond words she was leaving.

Mistaking my elation for a fondness for Tasha, Lissa gave me a big hug.

"Shall do. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow?"

"Sure," I confirmed.

She threw on a coat and traipsed down the stairs to meet Christian while I walked along her dorm corridor to the stairs at the other end as they were closer to my building and it was still cold out. I'd just exited downstairs and was walking to the Novice dorms when I noticed Lissa, Christian, and Brandon nearly at the gym walking through the sunrise towards Tasha's cabin. I guess the definition of 'family' was a little wider than I'd thought.


	22. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 22

"Tasha make it away ok?" I asked Lissa the next morning at breakfast. Christian had yet to arrive, so it was just the two of us sitting at our usual table.

"Yeah, she did. Turns out you could have come for dinner. Christian invited Brandon."

Well, it was nice to know I hadn't been _intentionally_ excluded, but I wasn't sure why she was bothering to tell me now when she could have rung or sent me a text last night. Not that I minded – if she'd done so I would have had to come up with an excuse not to go, so she'd done me a favor.

I was on my second round of buttered toast when Lissa squealed beside me, causing me to immediately jump up and into a defensive position, scanning every direction for potential threats. But Lissa was looking at me.

"What's that on the back of your neck?" she gasped.

"Shh!" I grumbled, sitting back down. "I don't want everyone to know."

She was talking about my molnija. Now they'd stopped itching I'd all but forgotten about them, although I did remember to wear my hair down this morning. It was only because I'd been sitting with my cheek resting on my hand and my hair had fallen to one side that she'd noticed.

"When did you get them done?" she demanded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Day after you went to Canada and it didn't come to mind yesterday when we were talking," I said honestly. "It's no big deal, and I _don't_ want to make a fuss about it, ok? _Please_ don't say anything to anyone."

Lissa promised, and I went back to nibbling at my toast. The last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself, but I guess it was inevitable. I had _Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques_ in first period and _Weight Training and Conditioning_ in third. Both hands-on classes where I'd be forced to wear my hair up. I just really didn't want people staring – especially since I wasn't looking too good these days. I appeared tired, and I'd lost a bit of weight. I was eating as often as I could, but I was also training a lot, so I was burning off a lot of calories. And it was only going to get worse now that I'd be exercising during class times, too. I probably needed to eat more than I was managing to, so I added it to my mental list of things to ask Dr. Olendzki when I came clean about things.

Christian and Brandon arrived and sat at our table. I didn't know Brandon that well. He was from one of the minor branches of the Lazar clan - so while he was royal, his part of the family was less involved in the politics and campaigning than some of the others according to Lissa. Not that any of that meant much to me. Socially he was a bit of a floater. He hung out with Jesse and Ralf sometimes but also some of the more studious Moroi students and even Aaron and that group from time to time. He and Christian were talking sport, so Lissa and I chatted while we breakfasted. The three were just standing up to head to the feeders when Eddie and Mason arrived.

"Big day, Rose!" Mason grinned, rubbing the back of his neck none too subtly. Like me, he figured today the rest of the year would find out about my molnija.

"Shut it!" I growled, with a quick eye flick to Christian and Brandon. There was no point letting the Moroi in on the gossip before it was absolutely necessary! They didn't seem to have noticed and headed off to the feeders, Lissa with a promise we'd talk at lunch.

I returned to the cafeteria queue to grab a pile of toast. Back at our table, I buttered each slice before slipping them into a take-out container and into my bag. Toast was the only thing I could reliably stomach before lunchtime, so I took a stack to nibble on between classes. I'd tried one of my favorite chocolate doughnuts the other day and immediately regretted it. So, for now, it was buttered toast. I noticed Eddie and Mason share a confused look as they watched me.

"Come on let's go," I grumbled grabbing my bag and heading to _Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques_ in the gym.

It was going great until Blake Aylett passed behind me to collect a couple of medicine balls.

"Hathaway? Why have you drawn molnija on the back of your neck?" he asked loudly – intentionally attracting the attention of the majority of the class. I cursed under my breath.

"Molnija aren't _drawn_ on, they're tattooed, you moron. Do you pay attention in classes at _all?!_ " I retorted. Blake was known for not being the brightest student.

"Drawn. Tattooed. The question is why do you have three on the back of your neck?" he persisted.

"Because I killed three Strigoi," I said quietly, aware the entire class was watching the two of us.

"Bullshit," Blake said. I shrugged and kept practicing the slow motion elbow thrusts we were working on. "If you'd killed Strigoi how come I don't know about it?"

"Maybe because it's none of your business?"

"Maybe because it didn't happen?" he countered. I shrugged again.

He came closer and tried to touch the back of my neck. I had him pinned on the floor before he knew what had happened.

" _Don't_ try to touch me. Ever," I growled. "Yes, they're real. Yes, I killed three Strigoi. No, it's not your business and no I don't wish to discuss it," I said before climbing off him.

"I still say it's bullshit," he said, but with a little less conviction.

"You know shit," Eddie said, walking over. "Mason and I were there for the inking. Rose killed three Strigoi completely unaided. Part of the report was read out at the ceremony and Rose was called of the best Novices in this generation!" There were murmurs of astonishment and disbelief from the rest of the class. I knew he was trying to be a faithful friend, but I'd happily murder Eddie just then. So much for keeping my molnija low key.

"Yep. I'm awesome, and Blake knows shit. Can we all _please_ move on now?" I said looking to our teacher Guardian Townsend. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

"Well said, Novice Hathaway. If you can all line up, I have a new move I'd like you to attempt today…"

I headed to the showers at the end of class. There were only a handful of female Novices, and while I could see them subtly trying to take a look at my neck, no one said anything. We all showered, and I hung back in the cubicle, putting my bra and panties on before I came back out. It wasn't just modesty – my breasts were changing big time, and I didn't want any of the girls to notice. As well as being quite a bit larger than before, there were veins visible beneath the surface of the skin, and my nipples were darker. Once a dusky pink they were now more of a pinky-brown color. They were also hugely sensitive and at times itchy.

I hadn't washed my hair, so I let it back down and headed to my next class. Eddie and Mason walked with me. I got there just in time for the bell, and I could tell the other Novices had been talking about me and my molnija when I walked in. As soon as he entered, Stan could sense discord. The man had a freaking radar for that sort of thing.

"Is there a problem?" he asked with a sardonic grin, looking to where Blake was surrounded by a few other Novices.

"No problem Guardian Alto," Blake said. "Just trying to work out why Hathaway is telling everyone she killed three Strigoi and got molnija," he said, shooting me a satisfied look. If you could rely on Stan for one thing, it was to grasp any opportunity to humiliate me.

"Actually if I remember correctly, you asked and I told you it was none of your business," I retorted shooting Blake a look that would scare most Novices.

"Is that so?" Stan drawled slowly, looking between the two of us. This was going to be a close thing. While he hadn't been at the inking, I was pretty sure Stan would know about my Qualifier and molnija, so it came down to whether he disliked Blake or me more. Stan and I certainly had a longer history, but then Blake casting aspersions on Stan's sexuality had been more recent.

So I tried something I'd never tried with Stan before. I let the tears I was fighting well in my eyes, and I shot him a brief pleading look before I looked at the floor. He was a Guardian and had molnija himself. He must know the mixed feelings that went along with that. And he also knew, at least on some level, I was still suffering after Dimitri's reallocation. Never one to show my vulnerable side, particularly to him, I'm not sure which of us was more shocked.

"Ayett? There's an old proverb someone like yourself should become familiar with. _It's better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt_. Hathaway is many things, but she's not an idiot – and only an idiot would wander around a training Academy claiming to have molnija they hadn't earned. I happen to know Hathaway made the kills and was inked over the holidays. If you spent more attention on your studies and less time on puerile gossip, you might be in a position to do likewise should the opportunity arise," Stan said in an arctic tone of voice.

We took our seats, and the lesson started. Stan avoided looking at me all class. I think both of us were a little embarrassed by the lapse in our customary hostilities. After that, the Novices accepted my molnija. Most of them were well mannered enough about it. Over the next few days a couple tried to ask what happened, but after my first few polite refusals, they stopped asking.

Day by day the weeks slipped away with no news of my Russian God. My morning sickness was getting better which meant I was able to eat a little more which certainly helped with my mood. I was still reading the pregnancy book and sending Comrade emails telling him what was going on with myself and Junior. It was an exercise in futility, but I had to do something. Because with each passing day, my hope that Dimitri would come home to me was fading.

* * *

Today was two months, three days since I'd last held my beloved Roza. Seven weeks since I'd last heard her tell me she loved me. The sharp pain of missing her had subsided. Now it was a dull gnawing ache that threatened to consume me with every breath I took. As a student, I'd read books where authors described all consuming loves. I hadn't understood what they'd meant until I'd experienced my own. And now the pain of being apart from my love threatened to burn my soul alive. Because I needed her. No matter what I was doing the call to be with her was always there – that constant thought in the back of my mind.

I went through the motions. Buying supplies for our smaller group. Eating. Showering. Turning towards the television with sightless eyes as my brain replayed images of Rose. My beautiful Roza. Sparring, lying in my arms, laughing, eating, looking into my eyes as we made love, sleeping. An amaranthine memory reel of my beloved that tortured every bit as much as it soothed. Oh, the irony - that the pleasure which accompanied this pain was all that kept me from completely giving into my despair.

We'd been living in our fetid quarters for six weeks – hunting every night. We'd killed around two-dozen Strigoi - all rogues roaming the city in solitude. Until last night that is when we'd killed four. A scouting party, they'd been sent out to look for us - just like we'd been sent to look for them. We didn't manage to get much information. Two were dead before we had a chance to question them, and the remaining two had little to say other than that their commander knew our cells were here and that we stood no chance against their army. I'd staked the one who said that myself, but it didn't erase the ominous threat behind his words. He was right, and the disappearance of the fourth cell since we'd been deployed confirmed it. One way or another, this purgatory was coming to an end, and while I was in no hurry to breathe my last, _something_ needed to happen because this inaction and uncertainty were a sort of death of its own.

I'd lain awake half the next day, sleep eluding me yet again. Staring at pictures of my milaya, I wondered what she'd be doing. When it was day here it was night there, so she'd probably be in classes. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine her eating in the cafeteria with the Princess, giving Alto shit in his classes and training with Celeste. It was a comforting thought. She might be sad I wasn't there, but Roza's life would go on - a clean, unblemished page on which to write her own story. A story I was sure would be magnificent.

Eventually, sleep claimed me, and I had the best dream I'd had in a long time. Of her – my dreams were _always_ of her. We were sitting in my family home in Baia. We were at the kitchen table, surrounded by the family I loved. Rose was sitting on my lap, and I was feeding her black bread. She was bickering good-naturedly with my youngest sister while my other sisters chatted with Mama. I was content - silently watching my family and my love. Everything seemed so natural. Precisely as it should be. Then I looked up to see Babushka at the head of the table.

"It's not too late, Dimka. This can still be," she commented, lifting her favorite pottery teacup to her lips. A hideous, misshapen thing Karolina had made her when she was in the early years of school, Yeva had sworn tea never tasted as good from anything else and had drunk exclusively from it ever since.

"I'm scared, Babushka."

"I know. You need to decide. It will be a battle, and you'll be tested in every way, but she'll be worth it..."

My grandmother had more to say, but I could feel myself waking. In my dream, I gave Rose a last squeeze goodbye and kissed her hair. She turned to me and smiled and I opened my eyes to see Alan in front of me.

"Sorry, Belikov. It's time to get up," he said apologetically, pretending not to notice as I gathered up my handful of photos and slipped them into the duster I was wearing even as I lay in bed. It was bitterly cold, and without heating, we were all rugged up as best we could.

Night had fallen an hour before, and we were finishing our evening meal prior to hunting when the door to our unit burst open. Close to two-dozen Strigoi piled into the room before we had any real chance to respond. Stefano reached for his stake but was dead before his hand got to the holster. A good man and a fine Guardian, he deserved a better death than having the life fade from his eyes as he slumped onto the putrid carpet of the hovel where we were staying.

Eugene attempted to stake one, but another snapped his neck from behind. They had us surrounded, and I knew there was no getting out of this. As I looked at the red eyes surrounding us, I hoped I'd get to go the same way as Stefano and Eugene. Dead, so my loved ones could mourn me and move on.

"STOP!" the leading Strigoi commanded. The four of us obeyed, recognizing a lost cause when he saw one. "Yaroslav… I thought that was you," he spoke in Russian, looking to our leader.

"Semyon," Slav replied, looking to the Strigoi. "I'm sorry to meet again this way. I didn't know you'd been turned."

The Strigoi Semyon gave a mirthless laugh. "A lot has happened since I saw you last, old friend. I was _awakened_ six months ago. And don't pity me - pity those who oppose the army we're building."

I looked at the Strigoi surrounding me. Army was the right word. These weren't typical Strigoi – undisciplined and solely interested in their next feed. They were a structured, cohesive fighting unit. Regimented soldiers of the undead. Fast and unmerciful, bent solely on domination and destruction. What a truly frightening thought.

Semyon looked around, taking in Liam, Alan, and I. "What's your name?" he asked me in Russian.

"Belikov," I replied curtly.

"You trained at St. Basil's too, didn't you? A few years below Yaroslav and I?" And then I placed him. He'd been in one of the other houses, but he'd been a skilled fighter. No wonder they'd recruited him.

"I did," I replied coldly. I just wanted this to be over. And then it was.

"Bring those two. Kill the other two," he ordered.

I felt hands grabbing me, evil red eyes regarding me with undisguised mirth. The not entirely unexpected bite of something sharp perforating my skin before blissful peace as one by one my senses left me. I was vaguely aware of my legs collapsing beneath me, but it wasn't important now. My eyes closed, I could see my beautiful Rose standing before me. So close I could almost touch her.

Surrounded by golden light, her raven tresses rippling as she moved, she was laughing and holding her hands out to me.

"I love you, Comrade!" she said, smiling and dancing through a field of wildflowers that were undulating beneath a fragrant breeze. She turned away from me but kept looking back with a smile full of love and promise to make sure I was following her. And of course, I was. I loved her with everything I was, and I'd follow her anywhere.

She was fading just as I caught up with her. I grabbed her hand, and she turned, a look of true joy on her face.

"I love you, Roza. Always," I said. And as my words faded so did she, and I succumbed to darkness.


	23. The Winter of Our Discontent: Part 23

I'd had the most horrible dreams. Running through mist trying to find something, but every time I was nearly there everything would shift, and I'd have to start again. I'd had dreams like this from time to time over the years, but as with everything else, pregnancy seemed to exaggerate things tenfold. It was actually a relief to drag myself out of bed at 5 pm ahead of training. Any excuse not to have to endure another round of disturbing imaginings from my subconscious.

It was Friday, and while I'd usually be happy to see the start of the weekend, I was dreading this one. Sunday was the day I'd promised Celeste I'd tell Alberta. She'd been pushing me for weeks, stressing the need for Junior and me to receive proper medical care. It wasn't that I was unwilling, I just needed the time to prepare myself. However I'd come to the conclusion that no amount of preparation was going to be enough – so after lunch on Sunday Celeste was going to come with me to tell Alberta my big news.

I knew she'd be disappointed. If not _in_ me then _for_ me. The more I thought about the future, the more I appreciated how much was going to change. I was hoping I could graduate, but that was far from a given thing. Guarding Lissa would certainly be out. In fact so might be guarding at all. I had no idea how I was going to support myself in the first few months with a newborn, let alone how I'd cover the inevitable medical expenses associated with having a baby.

Court seemed like my best bet for work, but with a baby and no allocation, Guardian housing would be out, so that left very expensive accommodation inside the wards or potentially dangerous quarters a long commute away. The human world was in some ways a better bet – but as a Dhampir, I had no papers or social security number. It hadn't been a problem when Lissa and I had been on the run – a combination of her compulsion and inexhaustible trust fund had seen to that. But as a single woman with no papers, no money, no qualifications or contacts and a new baby I was unlikely to get the lucky breaks I needed to eke out an existence for the two of us anywhere outside the seediest and most desperate of domains. Not that I was too proud to do that if I needed to – but I thought I'd explore the opportunities in my own world first. I wasn't the first young Dhampir woman to find herself pregnant and all but penniless. There could be all sorts of options out there for all I knew.

Yawning, I got up and changed into workout clothes. On Sunday I'd be twelve weeks along. The end of the first trimester. According to the book, I should soon start to have more energy and less morning sickness. I wasn't showing yet. All my clothes still fitted fine. Celeste had told me a lot of Dhampir women and Guardians, in particular, didn't show until quite late – a combination of lucky genetics and well-developed abdominal muscles. I remember my own mother once saying she worked until the end of her fifth month, so I was hopeful I could do likewise.

At the gym, Celeste was feeling chirpy. Stella had recently got her first e-mail address, and she was using it to communicate with her 'sister.'

"She's only allowed to use it to e-mail her teacher, her best friend, Mom, Dad or me. I've never had much use for e-mail – but I'm checking it like twice a day now because Stell keeps sending me messages!"

"Do you think you'll ever tell her the truth?"

Celeste looked thoughtful.

"I'm really not sure. Dad is adamant that she never know. Mom thinks she should be told one day but not yet. I'd like her to know, but not until she's old enough to understand why I had to do it this way. Why it was the best of a shitty bunch of options."

We did our workout, me a little slower than usual. I was noticing I was getting puffed more easily than I used to.

"Wait until you hit months eight and nine - you'll feel like you'll never breathe properly again," Celeste joked as she did her chin-ups.

Months eight and nine. Just before I had a baby. A real honest to goodness _baby_ I'd be responsible for. A child I'd have to look after. All by myself. I dropped from the bar and sat on the floor, tears running down my cheeks. Celeste looked at me in alarm, dropping to sit beside me.

"I was joking, Rose!" she said slightly alarmed. "It's really not that bad!"

"It's not that," I gasped. "It's just I'm going to have a baby, you know? A child. For the rest of my life, I'm going to be a _mother_ to someone. What if I fuck it up? God - knowing me I'll probably drop it or take it out somewhere and forget it. I can't even remember to pack a water bottle for gym – how the hell am I going to take care of a baby?!" I was rambling in a panic.

Celeste pulled me close and hugged me.

"You'll be fine – and you'll do it a day at a time. It will be ok."

"I'm frightened, Celeste. What if I can't do this?"

"You can. I know you can," she promised.

We were still on the mats, Celeste with her arm around me as I cried into her shoulder when Guardian Townsend came in to set up for _Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques,_ my first lesson for the day.

"You ok, Hathaway?" he asked, looking at Celeste and me oddly. Staff around campus were used to seeing me as a sarcastic disobedient badass, not a blubbering mess.

"Yeah fine," I said wiping my eyes and heading for a quick shower before breakfast.

"You know when you see them training, it's easy to forget they're still just seventeen or eighteen," I heard him comment to Celeste. "Still so very young." The door to the women's change room shut before I heard her response.

At breakfast, I had a chocolate doughnut. And bacon. And four pieces of toast.

"Got your appetite back, Rosie?" Christian commented sarcastically. It had been weeks since I'd shouted at Lissa - and while she and I were good, I was still on Christian's shit list.

"Bite me, fireboy," I murmured, hoping Lissa wouldn't hear me. But of course, she did.

"Can you two stop bickering?!" she sighed. Accessing her feelings through the bond, I could tell it irritated her when Christian and I snipped at one another.

"Fine. But he started it," I grumbled, taking solace in the fact I could finally smell and eat bacon again without wanting to hurl.

Brandon joined our table, distracting Christian so Lissa and I were free to talk.

"Only a few days to go now - all excited about the big day?" she asked looking at me nervously.

My heart stuttered, and I looked at her agape. How the hell did _she_ know I was going to tell Alberta on Sunday? Celeste must have said something… Did that mean she knew that I was _pregnant?!_

"Um not really," I said, trying not to give anything away until I figured out what and how much she knew.

"I know it's not as exciting when you don't have someone special to share it with, but you have heaps of admirers, so I'm sure you'll get your share of cards," she continued.

I was watching the words come out of Lissa's mouth, but I really couldn't work out what she meant, so I did something I didn't usually like to do – I brushed her mind with my own. Going past her surface emotions, which is what I usually read, I went a bit deeper so I could get to her thoughts.

' _Rose looks upset. Maybe she's disappointed she doesn't have a boyfriend for Valentine's Day? I could set her up with Brandon? I know he'd be up for it and if the two of them were occupied with each other Christian and I could sneak away.'_

It clicked. Valentine's Day was next week, and Lissa was worried Brandon or I would interrupt her plans.

"No I don't want to be set up with Brandon and don't worry about me interrupting your plans with Sparky, I'll probably spend the afternoon in the gym and then the evening studying like usual," I said, before taking another bite of toast.

"Rose!" Lissa hissed, "Were you in my head then?!"

"No," I fibbed giving her a cheeky grin, "I just know the way you think!"

She looked at me suspiciously but obviously decided to give me the benefit of the doubt.

"Will you reconsider having a date with Brandon? Please?! He's always hanging around! I never seem to get a moment alone with Christian these days," she hissed quietly. It wasn't the first time lately we'd had this discussion. Christian's bromance with Brandon was seriously curtailing Lissa's one-on-one time with her boyfriend, and she was starting to resent it.

"He's a nice guy – if you gave him a chance you might like him, Rose?"

"Liss I never said he wasn't nice, I'm just not interested. Besides – you know that between training and homework I don't have time to date."

It was an out and out lie. Often I'd lie in bed, staring at my photos of Dimitri just waiting until sleep would finally claim me. I was doing better at my studies than I ever had before because I was completing all my homework, revising texts and doing my assignments well in advance. Anything to stave off the long hours where I had nothing to do other than dwell on my fear.

"He's a nice guy. Just take him aside and tell him you want to spend Tuesday _alone_ with Christian. I'm sure he'll understand!" I counseled, wondering what it would be like to live a life where my greatest worry was how to slip away for a little romance with my boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I'd made up my mind to tell her as soon as possible. Ideally, I'd tell her straight after telling Alberta, but I knew she was super excited about her first Valentine's Day with Christian, and I couldn't ruin that for her by telling her my news before then.

Eddie and Mason arrived carrying laden trays just then.

"You're looking happy this morning," Mason said sarcastically, taking in my tired, puffy eyes.

"Bad dreams," I mumbled, finishing off my toast. I did feel better now I had a bit of food in me, though.

"Hey, Lissa? Rose?" Eddie said nervously coming to sit beside us. "I was wondering – do you think a picnic on the dorm room floor is a nice way to spend Valentine's Day? I've asked a girl on a date, but I haven't got enough money to buy her anything nice…"

"Depends on the girl," I said, looking at him carefully. "Chelsea?"

"Yeah," he said, flushing red. "I've kind of liked her since you made me dance with her at the Yule Ball," he admitted, looking sheepish.

"She'll love a picnic, just make sure you do it properly. A blanket, some cheese, some soda to drink and little sandwiches. You can get it all from the cafeteria and then prepare it in the dorm kitchen," I suggested.

"And go out to the gardens beforehand and pick her a bunch of flowers, too," Lissa added. "I have some pretty paper and ribbon you can wrap them in if you don't have any."

Lissa stood, Christian, and Brandon doing likewise. "See you at lunch," she said before heading off to the feeders.

"So got any plans for Valentine's Day?" Eddie asked me after a quick look from Mason.

Sigh. Just when I'd hoped he'd given up.

"Nah. Might see if any of the girls want to come watch Thelma and Louise with me," I joked.

"You could spend the afternoon with me?" Mason suggested. "Just as friends," he added quickly.

"We'll see, Duckie," I said softly. "I've got a lot of assignments to finish at the moment."

Another lie. It seemed like that's all I was doing at the moment – lying and concealing things from those I was closest to.

The guys finished their breakfast, and we headed to class. Townsend had a treat for us today. Sparring! The last three weeks he'd been teaching us new moves. While I was already very familiar with them from the time spent training with my Russian God, it would still be fun to try them out in class – especially since they were all arm moves, so I didn't have to worry about defending my lower abdomen.

He split us into pairs, and I got Chelsea.

"Hey Rose," she greeted shyly.

"Hey Chelsea, heard you've got a hot date on Tuesday?" I said, giving her a smile. Chelsea had liked Eddie forever.

"Yeah Eddie asked me out for Valentines Day, but I have no idea what he's got planned so I don't know what to wear!"

"Nice jeans and a pretty top," I shot back, "Or a long casual dress."

"Do you know what he has planned?"

"I might," I said smiling at her. I really hoped it worked out for them. Eddie was a good man and a real catch, and Chelsea was a sweetie.

"I have a dress which might be suitable if you don't have anything," I offered, thinking about a pretty floral maxi-dress I hadn't worn since we left the academy two years ago. There's no way Eddie would remember it as mine, and it was long and stretchy enough she could sit on the floor comfortably. "I'll bring it to your room after dinner and you can try it on."

Guardian Townsend started the instructions for the sparring – arm work only, and it was to be technique sparring; where we did the moves but without any real power behind them. He'd taped out enough squares for half the class to spar at one time while the other half watched on. Chelsea and I were part of the first batch and sparred for ten minutes. She wasn't bad, but the moves were new to her whereas I had a couple of months practice with them. The whistle blew, and we stepped back, watching the other half of the class spar for ten minutes.

"Swap partners," Townsend barked when their turn was up, so we all moved to partner with someone else. Lucky me, I got Blake. We squared off against one another waiting for the whistle to blow. When we started sparring, Blake put in more force than was strictly allowed, but I'd expected that from him. He was slow, so I was landing four or five taps for every blow he made to me. I could tell it was frustrating him, which I had to admit kind of pleased me.

We were only a minute or so from the end when he got an ugly look on his face and stepping back delivered a kick straight to my unprotected lower abdomen. I saw it coming and tried to spin away, but he grabbed my hands so all I could do was pivot so the very worst of it hit my hip. But it was one hell of a kick, and in pretty much the worst spot it could be.

"That's a clear foul!" I heard one of the Novices cry out as I crashed to the mat doubled over. "It's meant to be upper technique sparring only. He did that on purpose!"

I could barely breathe. The pain was everywhere, and all I could think about was Junior. I was lying in the fetal position gasping as I started to cry. My shoulders were shaking with my sobs, but I was trying to stop as every time I moved it hurt my stomach more. I could feel dampness spreading on my inner thighs, and knew it was probably me losing the baby. The tiny part of Dimitri I had left.

Mason was beside me in seconds as was Eddie.

"Rosie? Are you ok?" Mason asked, panic in his eyes. I knew he was panicking because it's the only time he ever called me that.

"Get Guardian Matthews. Please? I need her _right now!"_ I whimpered.

Mason looked to a confused looking Guardian Townsend who was standing beside them. He walked to the phone on the wall, and in a moment I heard an announcement over the campus PA calling Celeste to the gym for an emergency. She must have been close by, because it was only minutes before she was running in at full speed. One look at me on the floor lying on my side clutching my lower belly and crying and she started barking orders.

"Don't move her! Townsend – clear the gym – get the students somewhere else _now_." Eddie and Mason were standing beside me, not wanting to leave.

"What happened?" she asked them, as she sat on the mat beside me smoothing the hair back from my face. Eddie told her and she cursed.

"Rose? How does it feel?"

"It hurts, Celeste. Please help me. I just can't lose it. I just can't lose anything more," I sobbed looking at Celeste through my tears. "I just can't… Please!"

"Shh… It will be ok," she said, although her voice was shaking.

There were more footsteps, and I could see Alberta coming in. No one had called her, yet, but as Captain of the guard, I suppose her presence at any emergency on campus was to be expected.

Celeste nodded to Alberta and then looked up at Eddie.

"You need to go get Dr. Olendzki. Talk to her and no one else. Tell her the things at Christmas weren't for me, they were for Rose and that she's just had a direct hit to the lower abdomen in training."

Eddie looked at her, then to Alberta and finally to where I lay on the mat still hunched over and crying. He looked confused and then realization dawned.

"Oh hell. Rose is _pregnant_ isn't she?" he said, putting the puzzle pieces together.

"Yes, she is," Celeste said, and I heard Alberta gasp. "Now _run!"_

* * *

-ooOOoo **The End Part One** ooOOoo-


	24. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 1

"Try not to panic, Rose. How far along are you?"

"Somewhere between eleven weeks three days and twelve weeks today," I whimpered. I'd finally stopped crying now the Dr. was here. "I've been going with the middle date of eleven weeks five days."

"Are you sure? You haven't had any imaging done have you?"

"No, but I know when it happened… There was only that five-day window… I've never been with anyone else," I confessed.

I was looking at Dr. Olendzki, but I could see Alberta doing the math. She looked at me in confusion. Celeste was still beside me holding my hand and trying to soothe me while Dr. Olendzki rolled me onto my back and gently pressed different points on my stomach.

"I think it's too late. My pants are wet," I whispered, hugely relieved Alberta had sent Eddie and Mason off to the infirmary to collect a stretcher. I didn't want them hearing this.

"I'll check in a moment, but that might be urine," Dr. Olendzki reassured me. "It can happen after a blow. I won't lie this is very concerning, but baby is only three inches long at this stage and still relatively low in the abdomen. But there are several risks we need to consider here. Is the father on campus? It would be helpful if we knew his medical history, particularly his blood group."

I shook my head, pulling out Dimitri's pendant I always wore on a long silver chain and clasping it in my hand.

"But I can find out." The last thing I wanted to do was ring the Belikov's – especially with the news I was pregnant but probably in the middle of losing Dimitri's baby. But I'd do it if it gave Junior a chance.

"I have all student medical histories on file," Dr. Olendzki suggested gently. "I can look it up if that helps, and anything you say is confidential. The father doesn't have to know you've told me."

I shook my head.

"What about staff?" I whispered faintly.

Dr. Olendzki's shock was obvious, but she quickly hid it. Alberta closed her eyes and shook her head. I could tell she didn't want to believe what she was hearing.

"Yes. I have staff records, too," Dr. Olendzki confirmed.

"And he won't get in trouble? What I tell you is confidential? He didn't force me…"

I could see she was struggling with it, but the Dr. nodded.

"No one will believe me, but I won't risk my baby, so I really am telling the truth. The only man I've ever been with was Guardian Belikov."

Alberta winced. Celeste soothed me, and Dr. Olendzki looked confused.

"Rose, you must be mistaken? Two Dhampir…"

"Can't have children together… Yes. I know. But I've never been with anyone else, and the timing is right. I don't know how, but this is Dimitri's baby," I said quietly.

Further discussion was interrupted when Mason and Eddie returned with a stretcher. Eddie looked at me with such compassion, but Mason wouldn't meet my eyes at all. Even one of my oldest friends hated me. And that started me crying again.

"Rose? We just don't have the facilities here to take care of you. We're going to need to take you to Missoula to the hospital there. If the baby hasn't survived, you'll still need medical attention, and if it has, you need to have imaging and blood tests. I'm going to go to the clinic and make some calls and get the medical histories together, but until I return, I need you to stay still and not get up. I'm going to give you a shot of something when I return."

She saw me start to object and immediately reassured me.

"It's medication to try and relax your uterus to stop any involuntary spasms. It's one hundred percent safe for baby. You might need to stay in hospital for a few days, but someone needs to stay with you…"

"I'll go," Celeste volunteered.

"I think that's for the best," Alberta said, looking every bit her fifty-something years at that moment. "I'll drive the two of you there and stay until we know what's going on," she said giving my hand a motherly squeeze. "Celeste? Why don't you go to Rose's room and pack her a bag? Bring underwear, pajamas and comfy sweats."

"Is there anything else you want?" Celeste asked me.

"Can you also bring my phone and charger, laptop, toiletries, pillow, the sleep shirt underneath and a few of my photos?" I pleaded. Celeste nodded. She knew that now, more than ever, I needed my little reminders of the man I loved.

"I won't be long," she promised. "I'll go via my room and pick up a few things I'll need, too."

Alberta waited until Celeste and Dr. Olendzki went on their way.

"Castile? Ashford? Put the stretcher down here and wait outside the gym until I call for you. No one is to come in here bar Celeste or Dr. Olendzki on my orders. If you see anyone, you know nothing. If anyone tries to come in here, stop them and get me. And if I hear a word about what's been said here anywhere on campus, I promise you neither of you will graduate," she growled. I'd never seen her so fierce!

"I won't say anything," Eddie promised faithfully, talking to Alberta but looking at me. "I've got your back, Rose."

Mason stepped forward awkwardly before kneeling beside me, looking at me for the first time.

"You're one of my best friends – I'm here for you Rosie," he promised. "You have my silence too." When he pulled back, I could see his tears.

"Thanks, Duckie," I whispered, crying myself. "I'm sorry…"

The guys left Alberta and me to stand and guard the doors of the gym.

"I'll only ask you once, Rose. Is it really Belikov's? You don't need to lie to me."

"I'm not lying, Alberta. That weekend was my first time… And I've not been with anyone else…"

"I should never have let you go," she groaned.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. It would have happened no matter where we were," I whispered, and I meant it. I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against her palm. "I know he's probably not coming home. But he was the one for me, Alberta. And even with this, I'll be forever grateful we had those few days together. I really do love him, and I'm always going to."

I kept my eyes closed. The pain in my stomach was starting to abate, and I hoped that was a good thing.

"Have you made any decisions?" Alberta asked, stroking my hair with her free hand.

"I was hoping to keep it quiet so I can graduate. After that, I have no idea."

"Did you want me to call anyone? Your mother?"

" _Not_ Janine!" I moaned. "Please! Until we know what's going on can we keep it to ourselves?"

"Of course," Alberta soothed. "Don't worry about anything right now. Let's just focus on you and the baby."

"Junior," I whispered softly. "I'm calling it Junior, for now."

I opened my eyes and looked at Alberta. She had tears in her eyes. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before going back to stroking my hair. It was the first time she'd ever been so affectionate with me, and it meant a lot. I rubbed my face against her hand again and closed my eyes again.

"Junior," she agreed.

We were sitting in silence when Dr. Olendzki returned. She checked my abdomen again and then helped me take off my sweatpants and underwear before covering me with a warm cotton blanket she'd brought from the infirmary.

"Good news, Rose. There's no sign of blood, so it looks like the fluid was urine," she said brightly, bundling my soiled clothes up into a medical garbage bag. "It's not uncommon in a blow like that."

I was hugely relieved, but also embarrassed that I'd peed myself. Celeste arrived back carrying a couple of duffel bags – one for me and another for herself.

"Thank you, Celeste," I murmured. "Can you grab me a fresh pair of panties and sweatpants?"

With a little help, I got myself dressed again. Dr. Olendzki was handing files across to Alberta, along with instructions on who to see at the hospital.

"You'll be in a private room, and an Ob/Gyn will be looking after you. A Moroi physician will also visit you," she said. "I've de-identified Guardian Belikov's medical file and am sending that too, but there's nothing significant in there. Are you _certain_ he is the only… possibility… as the father?"

"Yes. We're in a relationship Dr. Olendzki."

The doctor looked to Alberta who nodded wearily. "It's the truth."

Dr. Olendzki looked troubled.

"Then I advise you not to reveal he's Dhampir. A Dhampir / Dhampir pregnancy is likely to attract a lot of attention if word gets out. They'd want to do all sorts of tests on you and the baby. While I trust the Moroi doctor you'll be seeing, I'd feel happier if that information was kept as quiet as possible. I'll do some research from here and find out what I can."

"Thank you," I whispered. It hadn't occurred to me that our miracle baby might become a guinea pig for testing, but I wouldn't put it past the powers that be to try it. That's if our miracle baby had survived. I hadn't known how much I already loved Junior until now – when there was the chance I was losing it.

Before I knew it, Alberta had called Eddie and Mason back in, and I was rolled onto my side on the stretcher. Dr. Olendzki gave me a couple of shots, one in each leg, and I was covered with the blanket. "I can't give you much because of the baby, Rose. But you might feel sleepy - don't fight it – you need to rest."

Eddie and Mason each took an end of the stretcher and started carrying me towards the main driveway. We must have hit the change between classes, because there were people everywhere and we had to pass through the commons.

"Just close your eyes and pretend you're asleep," Celeste counseled under her breath, so reaching up to hold Dimitri's pendant again, that's what I did. The last thing I could remember was being lifted into the back of a van. There was a mattress on the floor, and I was rolled onto it, resting on my side. Celeste sat beside my head helping me rest my head on a pillow.

"We're ready, let's go," she said. I heard the rumble of the van beneath me and then I fell asleep.

* * *

"Ah, you're awake." I opened my eyes to find my head resting on a pillow. I was lying on a single military-style bed. Slav was lying on a similar bed next to me. "They must have used a lot more sedative on you – I've been awake for a couple of hours."

My head was spinning, and my mouth was dry.

"Where are we?" I croaked out.

"We're at the Strigoi compound," he murmured. "We're in a locked Guardian dorm. There're some of the guys from the other cells here. We're here to be processed to see who they want to join their army."

It was my worst nightmare come true.

"Alan? Liam?"

"Dead. From what I can gather from the others, we'll have up to three or four days here before we'll be considered. We'll either be turned or killed," Yaroslav said softly.

"I know what I wish for," I said, hoping for death. And then I remembered my Babushka's words. I knew better than to discount a dream in which she spoke to me. If she said there was a chance – hope for me to return to my family and be with Roza - then maybe I needed to reconsider. But not as Strigoi. I would rather die than be turned.

"Why didn't they just turn us?" I muttered, slowly putting my thoughts to rights in my head. Whatever they'd used to knock me out had been potent.

"Apparently that's part of their 'ethics.' First, they need to decide if they want us. And if they do, we need to choose to give them our allegiance. If not we'll be killed."

"But we get a choice?" I asked, surprised.

"According to what the others say, yes," Slav replied looking equally as surprised. "Not that they're great choices. But it is good to know if I choose not to be turned, I won't be."

The way Slav was speaking left me in no doubt as to what his decision would be.

Strigoi. With a code of _ethics_? It was an entirely foreign concept to me. But then what did I really know about this army? They were clearly a very different entity to anything I had seen before. Not that I was itching to sign up. But I liked the idea that I had some type of choice.

"So what happens now?" I asked lifting my head slowly to look around me. We were in a fairly standard group dorm. Twenty identical metal beds in four rows of five in a massive room. As well as the beds, there were tables and chairs at one end and a television on the wall. At the other end were four doors that looked as though they led to bathrooms. Compared to the Church where we'd stayed before being deployed, this was spacious and well appointed.

"From what the others say we stay here until we're called," Slav tilted his head towards the large mirrors running down the opposite wall – obviously one-way glass - the inference being that we were potentially under constant observation. "And then we're turned or not."

I slowly sat up in bed. My head was still a little woozy, but it was clearing fast. I looked around recognizing faces from the Church.

"Are most of the guys here ours?" I asked.

"About seventy percent. A few are from a raid on a Royal home between here and Omsk, and there are a couple who were captured on leave in Novosibirsk."

Looking down at myself I was still wearing my duster, and at the foot of my bed was my duffel bag.

"Check – but everything was still in mine minus my stakes," Slav commented.

I riffled through my duffel bag, and yes everything was there. But it was Rose's photos which were most precious to me, and slipping a hand into my pocket I could feel they were still there. Not that I'd bring them out here. I couldn't afford to show any sign of weakness or anything that could be used against me. But just knowing I still had them soothed me.

My hand in my pocket fingering the edges of the photos, my mind wandered to Rose. Would they tell her I'd been captured? Would she assume I'd been turned? I didn't want her stressing or worrying about me, although I knew she would in any case. Still, Babushka seemed to think there was a way out of this. That I had a _decision_ to make.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the metal bedhead. I looked deep into myself. Could I do this? Was I willing to do whatever it took to get back to her? I thought about what Babushka had said. I thought about how happy Rose had been for at least part of those few days we'd shared in Missoula, and I made up my mind. While there was a chance, any chance at all I could make her smile like that again, then I'd do it. I opened my eyes, my decision made.

Getting up, I grabbed my duffel and then the towel folded over the foot of the metal bed.

"Showers down that way?" I asked Slav.

He nodded. "There's everything you need in there. They run on a nocturnal schedule, so apparently, dinner will be arriving soon."

He didn't have to say it – I knew what he was thinking. As prisoners in a Strigoi compound, we were better treated and accommodated than many Guardians were during their normal working lives.

I walked towards the four doors, choosing one of the middle bathrooms. While there were no windows or obvious cameras in here, and the only mirror was on the door of the medicine cabinet so not two-way, I worked on the assumption that I was still potentially under observation. So keeping my bland Guardian façade on, I used the lavatory, then getting the wet pack from my duffel bag I shaved. Finally, I stripped down and showered, washing and even conditioning my hair. Slav had been right – everything needed was here, and even the hot water was plentiful.

Not wanting to take too long I stepped out of the shower and toweled off, tied back my hair and dressed in jeans and a sweater. None of the other Guardians had been wearing their uniforms, so I saw no reason to either. Carefully repacking my duffel, I made sure the bathroom was in the same state it had been when I entered the room before slipping my duster back on, grabbing my towel and duffel and walking back to my bed. I'd only just hung the towel over the end of the bed to dry when the doors at the far end of the room opened. Strigoi in uniform wheeled in large carts, rolling them against the wall near the tables and chairs. On the bottom were plates and cutlery, when they lifted the covers on top there were large metal containers filled with food. Dinner.

Following the cue of the others, I lined up with Yaroslav, collecting a plate and serving myself from the plentiful offerings. Beef goulash, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, corn and a bread roll. There was also juice and water to drink. Sitting at a table with Slav and a few others from the Church I ate in silence, listening to the talk amongst the others. Apparently, after the food was removed, tea and coffee would be brought in, and the lights would stay on until 9 am, after which it was lights out and sleep time.

We'd finished eating and had stacked our cleared plates back onto the bottom of the trolley when the doors opened again, and the Strigoi were back to collect the food. While they weren't friendly, their demeanor wasn't threatening either. And I was surprised to see that the Guardians tolerated their presence readily enough. No one was jumping back in alarm. It seemed bizarre to me – this acceptance of the creatures we'd spent our entire lives training to fight. Looking around at the others, I started to wonder whether perhaps there was something in the food because this calm didn't seem natural. Catching Slav's eye I could see his thoughts were headed in a similar direction.

The trolleys were being wheeled out when another Strigoi came in. Holding a clipboard, "Guardian Belikov?" he enquired, looking around expectantly. Taking a deep breath, I stood.

"Yes."

"Guardian _Dimitri_ Belikov?"

I nodded.

"Follow me, please. Our commander would like to see you."

Slav looked at me questioningly, and I shrugged. I had no idea why I'd be called and so quickly. The other Guardians watched me curiously as I followed the Strigoi from the room. Knowing everything I did could have a severe consequence, and that even the tiniest bit of information could help my cause, I kept myself alert – looking about me and mentally storing every observation carefully away for future consideration. If I got a future, that was.

We walked through long, utilitarian corridors, up several sets of stairs and then into more luxurious parts of the compound. There were many Strigoi – all in uniform. Some guarding doors, some training, some even appeared to be relaxing. Honestly, were it not for the red-ringed eyes one could be mistaken for thinking it was a Guardian facility.

After ten minutes of walking, we approached a large set of double doors. Gold and imposing, four Strigoi were flanking them.

"I have Guardian Belikov – we're expected," the Strigoi said.

One of the guards knocked and opened the door. "Nathan and Guardian Belikov," he announced, stepping back so I could follow the Strigoi I now knew to be Nathan into the room.

Inside was an opulent sitting room, decorated in light blues and golds. It was luxurious but at the same time feminine.

"So, Dimitri. What do you think of my little place here?" a lilting voice asked in amusement.

While I wasn't accustomed to hearing it when she wasn't barking instructions out to me in the gym, I recognized the voice immediately. My old mentor. Galina.


	25. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 2

"This will be cold Miss Hathaway," the Obstetrician warned, squirting gel onto my lower stomach. He'd already done a physical examination, including an internal exam. _Not_ the most pleasant experience, particularly given the doctor seemed to be disapproving of my situation. I wonder what Dr. Olendzki had told him? "Do we need to wait for the father before we proceed to see if your baby is viable?" he said, the faintest hint of a sneer in his voice. It was so slight; I wondered whether I'd imagined it.

"That won't be necessary, thank you, doctor," Celeste said immediately in an unambiguously frosty tone of voice. "My _brother_ is currently deployed overseas. As he's unable to be here, I'm here to support Rose."

You could see the Dr. stiffen with the subtle rebuke.

"That must be difficult for you all," he murmured.

I nodded. "Can you please…?" I said looking at my stomach. I just wanted to know whether our baby was ok.

Celeste grasped my hand, and the Obstetrician moved the wand across my skin, pressing harder than I expected. He was moving it up and down and then started fiddling with the machine. I didn't dare look at the monitor until I heard a whoosh whoosh whoosh sound. The most beautiful sound in the world, I recognized it instantly. It was the sound of my baby's heart beating! My eyes flicked open, and I looked at the screen. I could see the outline of what was unmistakably a baby. Junior.

The sight was unbelievably moving. My miracle baby was there, and for the first time, I could see it. My eyes looking at the screen in wonder, I could see its arms and legs and even movement as it repositioned itself unfelt inside me.

"It's good news. Your baby is alive, and that's its heartbeat. I'll need to check out the placenta and blood flow, but it's looking good. I still want you on bed rest and observation for a week, but for now baby looks fine."

I looked to Celeste and burst into tears. Alberta came in at just that moment. She'd been outside taking care of all the paperwork. It turns out the Academy had insurance for all their students, so the medical expenses were going to be covered.

"Oh _no!"_ she gasped, misunderstanding my tears.

"No – it's ok! Can you show us again?"

Alberta stood at the head of the bed and stroked my hair while the Obstetrician placed the wand on my belly a second time. The beautiful sound of Junior's heart beating filled the room. I looked up at Alberta and smiled.

"Oh, Rose! That's wonderful!" she grinned.

"I need to take some measurements now," the Obstetrician advised. "Would you like me to talk you through it? I can record the ultrasound on disk too if you'd like? So you can send it to the father?"

"Yes, please!" I said, unable to wipe the smile and tears from my face. The Obstetrician wasn't to know I had no idea where to send the disk – but I would keep it in the hope I'd be able to play it for Dimitri one day.

For the next twenty minutes, the Obstetrician measured the head, legs, heart, abdomen and pretty much everywhere else on Junior. He pointed out the heart, kidneys, bladder and other body structures as well as measuring blood flow in the heart and even in the umbilical cord. Celeste, Alberta and I were all staring at the screen, listening carefully to what the Obstetrician was explaining to us.

"Hmm…" the Obstetrician muttered at one point.

"What?" I asked, instantly alarmed.

"Well everything is on track, but the baby is quite long," he said.

"My brother is over six and a half feet tall, could that explain it?" Celeste said, giving Alberta a quick look.

The Obstetrician smiled for the first time.

"Yes, it would. I'd say your child is going to be tall like its father. Your dates are spot on Miss Hathaway. Your baby is measuring eleven weeks six days, and your due date is the twenty-seventh of August. I'll send a nurse along in a minute - we're going to need to do some blood work, but everything is looking good. Would you like some photos?"

I nodded ecstatically, grinning as he handed me four small pictures of Junior.

"So is everything definitely ok?" I checked.

"There's no sign of injury or shock to your uterus or baby. I do want you on bed rest for a week, but provided nothing happens in the next day or two you can be discharged to recuperate at home," he explained before taking his leave.

Alberta was smiling. "That's great news! We'll wait to hear what the Moroi doctor has to say, but if all goes well, you should be able to come home on Monday."

I was so happy Junior was ok that I was even willing to put up with a weekend in the hospital. The room I was in was actually quite nice. A single room, it had an armchair that folded out into a single bed, which was where Celeste was going to stay. It also had a private bathroom and a large TV. Celeste was busy figuring out what channels we had when there was a knock at the door, and a Moroi male doctor came in.

"Guardian Petrov," he greeted.

"Doctor Langtree," Alberta replied respectfully. "This is Novice Hathaway and Guardian Matthews. The Obstetrician has just been in, and apparently, the baby is unharmed."

"So what happened? Training accident?" he asked kindly, indicating for me to lift my shirt so he could examine my abdomen.

I nodded. There was no point telling him a Novice had intentionally booted me in the abdomen not knowing I was three months pregnant.

"You're fortunate you have good abdominal muscles. They're what saved your baby," he commented. "You were lucky this time Novice Hathaway, but you might not be so lucky again. I'm afraid you won't be able to return to training after this."

I turned to Alberta, alarm in my eyes. If I couldn't train I couldn't graduate – and I needed to graduate if I was going to have any chance of supporting Junior and myself in the future.

"What if I did a modified program?" I begged Alberta.

"Rose you must know it's not possible, particularly if you're keeping it a secret…"

"What if I only spar with Eddie, Mason, and Celeste? They already know? If you told just the combat teachers, they could make sure there wasn't any danger. If I don't graduate, I can't support my baby, Alberta…"

Alberta looked at the doctor. He shrugged.

"She could probably carry on until twenty weeks, but after that, it's just too risky for both of them."

Twenty weeks. That would be seven weeks before I was due to graduate.

"I'd have to speak with your teachers and Principal Kirova, but we could try and accelerate things a bit? Run some of your combat tests early? You'll be busy, but if we sign you off early on your combat subjects, it will give you the last couple of months to focus on your academic classes. It will be tight, but we might just be able to make it work."

"I'll do whatever it takes," I promised.

"Other than abdominal hits, is there anything else she needs to be aware of?" Alberta asked the doctor.

"You can't land on your stomach, kicks to the lower back also need to be avoided, and you'll need to be careful not to overheat or exhaust yourself," he explained. "Also your body is producing a lot of the hormone relaxin, which is softening your joints and ligaments. You need to be careful as it's easy to over flex, stretch or rotate because everything is a little looser than usual."

"When can I go back to the Academy?" I asked. "The Obstetrician said I'd have to have a week of bed rest, but I'd only have to stay here a few days."

"Yes, that's fine. You'll need to recuperate at the infirmary where Dr. Olendzki can keep an eye on you, though," he stipulated. "And we'll need to see you here again around eighteen weeks for another set of tests."

With a few additional comments to Alberta, he left promising to check in on me again tomorrow.

"I'll have to let Townsend, Alto, Rickard, and Martinez know…" Alberta was thinking out loud. "And Principal Kirova… Celeste? I'll need to schedule you for the training classes every morning so you can partner Rose in all her combat activities, would that be ok?"

Celeste looked delighted. Combat classes were a _lot_ more fun to guard than the theory lessons or general guarding duties. I was glad it would be Celeste I'd be working with. What with Dimitri leaving, and now my pregnancy, we'd become very close. "Are you going to tell anyone else?" Alberta asked me. "Perhaps Lissa?"

I frowned. "Yeah, I'll need to. She needs to get used to new Guardians," I said with a frown. First, she'd lost Dimitri and now me. And I knew from our chats that Celeste wouldn't be looking for allocation with her after graduation either. "I'll tell her when I get back to the Academy," I said, the prospect a bleak thought after the high of seeing Junior. I didn't need our bond to know she wasn't going to be happy about my news.

"I should get going," Alberta said regretfully, looking at her watch. "You both have your phones, so stay in touch." She came over and hugged me. "I wish you'd told me earlier, Rose, but I'm relieved everything is ok. I know it's a lot right now, but everything will work out. We'll talk more when you're back at the Academy."

"Thanks, Alberta. I'm sorry," I said hanging my head, apologizing for everything. I knew she was disappointed that things had worked out this way, but also that she understood.

After Alberta had left, I lay back on the bed, closed my eyes and thought about the man who should have been beside me to see the first pictures of our precious baby. My Russian God Dimitri.

* * *

"Your place?" I asked, not even trying to disguise my surprise at seeing Galina and hearing her words.

"Yes. My compound. My _army_." She lifted her arm and gestured around her. "All of it – mine. Leave us, Nathan," she commanded imperiously. The youthful blond Strigoi didn't look as though he enjoyed being ordered around, but left nonetheless.

"I'd heard you'd been... awakened," I said, trying to mask my surprise at her announcement, and the fact she was sitting here chatting with me as though she were still Dhampir. It seemed so _normal._

"Yes. A few years ago in Prague. My Moroi charges escaped in a car, leaving me behind to face twenty Strigoi." The bitterness was evident in her voice. "Not that I regret becoming immortal," she clarified, "but it has rather colored my feelings towards Royal Moroi… Tea?"

On the table in front of her was an exquisite tea set – probably hundreds of years old. I doubt, on my Guardian salary, I'd be able to save to afford even a cup.

"Thank you," I murmured, my good manners outweighing my revulsion at sitting and chatting with a Strigoi – even one I knew as well as Galina.

"So, Dimitri. I lost track of you after Zeklos died," she said. "What happened?"

"I ended up at St Vladimir's in America."

"Teaching?"

"No, guarding. But I did end up mentoring," I said, a half smile on my lips. "I had no idea how challenging it would be," I admitted.

"You'd be a good mentor," she said thoughtfully. "So. You didn't tell me what you think of my place?"

"Well I've only been awake an hour," I said truthfully. "And all I've seen is the dorm and the corridors on the way here, but I can honestly say it's like nothing I've ever seen before."

She nodded, smiling in pleasure. "If I'm going to be immortal I'm not going to do it by half," she said.

"So the army? What's it for? To wipe out all Moroi?" I was genuinely interested.

Galina rolled her eyes. "Of course not. That would be rather short-sighted, don't you think? The immortal crave Moroi blood; it would be a shame to eliminate that we most enjoy. No - the Moroi have their place in this world," she said, lighting up as she spoke about her ideologies, "But it's time for an economic and social revolution. Royal Moroi have held power for too long. It's time the tables are turned," she concluded.

I could see a maniacal gleam in her eyes. I wondered what the overall objective was – because knowing Galina there'd be one and it would be planned meticulously.

"It was kind of her Majesty to send me her finest Guardians to add to my army wasn't it?" Galina added playfully.

"You knew they'd send us?"

"Of course. The Royal Council are nothing if not predictable. With falling Guardian numbers, they wouldn't want to risk a larger force, so they'd send a smaller force of their very best. Stupid, really – because all they've done is add to my army to the detriment of their own."

"The other Guardians said they're given a choice – join your army or die. Is it true?" I asked, wondering whether Galina would tell me the truth. As a Dhampir and a Guardian she'd never lied to me, but I was unsure whether the same would apply as a Strigoi.

"It's true," she confirmed. "A warrior will never be loyal if you force them to your cause. Every member of my army is here by choice."

I lifted my eyebrow.

"Well I didn't say they were _great_ choices," Galina admitted with an amused smile.

"So why did you want to see me?" I asked, getting to the heart of the matter. Since no one else had been called so quickly, Galina must have a reason, and I doubt it was for a social catch up.

"You've always been an excellent judge of character, Dimitri, and you're unfailingly observant. More so than anyone I've ever met. In such a large group, I'm sure you can imagine there are various… tensions and agendas… I'm not unaware that almost every one of my senior staff would stake me and take my place in an instant if they could. But you've never been like that. I can trust you, and we've always worked well together. I'm hoping you'll join me – as a second of sorts. Your talents would be very welcome."

Galina smiled. She'd been mentor to several students during my final two years at St. Basil's, but she and I had always understood one another best. We'd become very close in a professional sense – being able to read each other in much the same way Rose and I could. There'd never been a sexual element to our relationship, but as far as Guardians went, we were brilliantly matched. Her strategic vision, vivacity, and ambition were complemented by my caution, reserve, and observation. When Galina had been my mentor, and she'd taken me on my first raids, over time I'd fallen into a 'second' position with her, so I suppose it made sense she would consider me for a similar sort of role now.

"Power, money, sex, blood – as my second you'd have it _all._ The very best of everything," she tempted. "There's _nothing_ you couldn't have."

But she was wrong. The only thing I wanted was a normal life with Rose – and she couldn't offer me that. But her offer might be a way for me to play for time. And more than _anything_ , right now, I needed time.

"And if I say no?"

She shrugged, spreading her hands out.

"You have the same offer as the others – but in recognition of our history together I'll do it myself, and I'll make sure it's painless," she offered.

"It's a big decision," I said carefully, pretending to think over her words and give them consideration, "And I'm not in possession of all the facts. I'd like some time to get a sense of your organization and to thoroughly consider your offer before I commit to anything."

"You always were cautious," Galina laughed. "I can see that's not changed. My entire army is meeting here in five weeks. You can have until then. In fact, maybe I'll turn you as part of the festivities," she mused. "It would be a good way to introduce you as my second."

I nodded. Five weeks wasn't long, but it was longer than I'd expected.

"There's no escape from my manor, so I'll have you moved to a guest chamber. Starting tomorrow, you can spend your days with me getting an idea of how things work around here. But in the meantime…" she said, standing from her seat and walking across to me, running her hand along my shoulders and surprising me by sitting on my lap, "let's find out what your blood tastes like," she said almost apologetically.

I knew she'd drink from me with or without my permission, so I inclined my neck to give her access. I felt the sharp pinch as her fangs broke the skin and then nirvana as the chemicals in her venom spread through my bloodstream. I could feel her lapping at my jugular, my arms automatically wrapping around her, holding her in place as if to prevent her from ending the bliss her bite brought.

All too soon she was pulling her lips from me, but I was still high as a kite from the endorphins. Galina leaned across and pressed a button on the table beside me, and the doors opened revealing the four Strigoi who'd been there earlier.

"You taste very manly," she whispered in my ear. "I like it."

Galina stood up and wiped the side of her mouth daintily.

"Help Guardian Belikov to a guest chamber, and let it be known he is strictly off-limits. Anyone interfering with him in any way is to be killed on the spot."


	26. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 3

_Dear Comrade,  
I'm writing to you from the hospital in Missoula, but don't worry – Junior is fine. Who's not going to be fine is Blake Aylett when I get back on campus! I was in Townsend's class Friday morning, and we were doing upper technique sparring when he grabbed my hands and intentionally kicked me in the abdomen. It hurt like a bitch, and I thought I was going to lose our baby, but Dr. Olendzki sent me to the human hospital in Missoula to get checked out, and we're both ok._

 _So Alberta and Dr. Olendzki now know about Junior and that you're the father. I hadn't planned to tell them about you, but they needed to know your medical history and blood group. I'm not sure Dr. Olendzki completely believes me, but I know Alberta does. Mason and Eddie also know I'm pregnant, but they don't know about you. Dr. Olendzki wants to keep Junior's paternity a secret in case people try and run tests on Junior and me. So other than Alberta, Celeste, Dr. Olendzki, and Lissa when I finally tell her, I won't be telling anyone else here that Junior is our baby._

 _I had the twelve-week scan a couple of hours ago, and it was cool. Everything is as it should be, although the doctor did say that Junior is going to be tall. I wonder where he or she gets_ _that_ _from? He recorded it on DVD for me, so when you get back, we can watch it together. They've also taken blood to test for a whole heap of things, but that's routine._

 _I have to remain in the hospital until Monday, and then if everything is still ok, I can go back to St. Vlad's. I'll have to stay in the infirmary there until Friday, and then I need to get back into things. The Moroi doctor I saw said I can only train for another eight weeks, so Alberta is going to try and move my training up and give me my combat exams early so I can graduate. Just as well you trained me so well, because I'm going to need every advantage I can get if I'm to pass._

 _While it was wonderful seeing Junior, and to know he or she is safe, it made me miss you even more. I would have given anything to have you here with me for our first look at our baby. I haven't heard any news about you since you were deployed. I'm hoping no news is good news, but I worry. It seems all I ever_ _do_ _is worry._

 _Now Alberta knows, I've been thinking about telling my mother and yours. I know my mother will take it badly, but I don't know about yours. I've been putting it off thinking it's something you should tell your family because they probably won't believe me. That's assuming_ _you_ _believe me._

 _Everything seems so much more real now I've seen Junior. I didn't ask, and I don't think I want to find out, but I think it's a boy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I like the idea of a little boy who looks just like his Daddy? Celeste bought a baby name book downstairs in the gift shop before, so I'm going to read through that later and see if I can get any ideas. I thought I'd make a list of names I like so we can talk about them when you get back._

 _I miss you, Comrade. I wish you were here. It's hard doing this alone, especially when I want to share every thought and moment with you. The doctor gave me some photos of Junior which I've attached. I hope when you see these you'll be as happy as I am._

 _I love you, Dimitri. I miss you, and I can't stop wondering where you are._

 _You need to come back to us because you're everything to Junior and me.  
_

 _Always your loving  
Roza_

* * *

"So you two haven't driven each other crazy?" Alberta asked with a chuckle as Celeste and I walked out of the hospital to an Academy van. It was almost 10 am Tuesday morning, and I was being released from the hospital. I could have gone home Monday night, but Alberta needed to pick up some things from some stores in Missoula, so she needed to be here in daylight.

"Nah we're good," Celeste said with a laugh, "although I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again."

We'd spent the time in the hospital going through the baby name book umpteen times, playing scrabble and monopoly, Celeste quizzing me on theory for an upcoming _Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection_ test, binge-watching TV series, me texting Lissa and eating. The hospital food had been horrible, but Celeste had discovered a decent café a short walk from the hospital, so she'd used some of the money Alberta had left us to make sure we didn't starve.

"Matthews? Why don't you drive?" Alberta suggested when we reached the van. "I want to sit in the back and talk with Rose."

Celeste took the keys and climbed into the driver's seat as Alberta and I clambered into the rear. We sat side by side in the middle row.

"Now, first of all, Novice Aylett has had all social privileges revoked for his attack on you, and he's also been given a formal warning. One more step out of line and he won't graduate. Castile and Ashford have told the other Novices you were taken to hospital to be checked for internal injuries. In time people may guess the truth, but until you start showing, we'll just run with that. I've spoken with Principal Kirova, and she's agreed to a modified combat examination timetable for you. We will be telling people that academically you're still not where you should be after your time away with Lissa, so we're finishing your combat training early so you can focus your last few months on your academics to be able to graduate.

"I've also spoken with Guardians Rickard, Townsend, Martinez, and Alto about your pregnancy. They understand the need for secrecy and will be working with you closely to prepare you for your examinations. They've been told that you're refusing the say who the father is. I've asked them not to press you about the issue, but let me know if any of them need reminding. I've also made some appointments for you to see the counselor Deirdre to talk through things and look at options for you and the baby once you graduate."

"Thanks, Alberta," I mumbled. While I was looking forward to getting back to the Academy, it would be different now people knew. Even if they didn't say anything, I knew what they'd be thinking. One more stupid Dhampir girl who got herself knocked up. At least the students wouldn't know, and that was something. I rested on the trip back because we'd be transitioning back to Vampire time. We'd be arriving about noon, so campus would be quiet. We were driving through the main gates when Alberta looked at me, and I swear I saw a look of apology on her face.

"Also Rose? Your mother is here… I didn't call her, she called me. Her charge's nephew is a freshman here, and the news got to her you'd been injured in training badly enough to have to go to a human hospital. I told her you'd be discharged today, so she's here for twenty-four hours."

My heart was nearly thumping out of my chest. Shit. I'd have to tell her, and I knew she was going to go off her head.

"Does she have any idea?" I moaned.

"No. I just told her you had to have a range of tests done and be kept in for observation. She arrived just before I left to come and get you. Would you like me to go with you when you tell her?"

I shook my head. "No. This is something I'd better do alone."

We pulled up to the infirmary, and I climbed out of the van, grabbing my duffel bag. I hoped to slip in quietly and get a few hours sleep, but my mother was sitting on a bench beside the front doors waiting for me.

"Rose! Thank goodness you're alright," she said looking at me almost fondly. "What happened?"

"Hi, Mom. I have to stay in the infirmary until Friday – let me just put my stuff down, and I'll tell you all about it."

I walked into the infirmary and waved hello to Dr. Olendzki.

"Welcome back, Rose. We have your usual room prepared," she said with a chuckle.

"You usual room?" Mom asked in confusion.

"Yeah, I end up here quite a bit," I answered distractedly.

I put my duffel down on the bed in the single room where I usually stayed. At least one of the other rooms was occupied, so this wasn't going to be the best place to tell Mom about the baby.

"I've been cooped up in a hospital room since Friday – you ok if we go for a walk?" Mom nodded, following me out of the infirmary.

"Just going for a walk with my Mom," I called out to Dr. Olendzki.

"That's fine," she said kindly. "Don't overdo it and we'll see you back here when you're ready." She'd apparently figured out I was going to tell my mother.

We walked in silence down to the lake, and I sat down on a bench, my mother sitting beside me.

"So you got your molnija," she commented, looking at my neck. "I wish you'd told me; I would have liked to have come for the inking."

"Sorry, it kind of happened in a hurry and by the time I knew it was scheduled it was too late for you to get here," I muttered.

Mom shrugged. She'd missed it – there was no point carrying on about it now.

"So how did you end up in hospital? Alberta was a little vague on the details," she asked suspiciously.

"I was in training, and we were doing technique sparring – upper body only. They were new methods to the class, but Dimitri and I had been practicing them for months already…"

"Guardian Belikov," Mom admonished.

"Like I said, Dimitri had already shown them to me, so I was a lot faster and was getting a lot more points. One of the Novices got his ego injured, so he grabbed my hands to stop me spinning and kicked me as hard as he could in the abdomen."

"You couldn't free yourself?"

It wasn't necessarily a criticism, just a question I reminded myself.

"No. I pivoted, so my hip took the worst of it, but it was still pretty bad. Dr. Olendzki took a look, but because of the circumstances she transferred me to the human hospital in Missoula."

"The circumstances?" Mom asked looking confused.

"Because of the baby, Mom. I'm three months pregnant, and she was worried the blow might make me miscarry."

I looked at my hands. I didn't want to see the expression on my mother's face at that moment. There was an ominous silence, and with a soft sigh, I lifted my eyes to look at my mother. I could see a myriad of emotions crossing her face before she saw me watching and yanked her Guardian mask into place.

"The father?" she demanded obdurately.

"Is not around," I replied, letting her know through my voice that I wouldn't be discussing that aspect of things.

A muscle in her jaw flexed, but it was the only outward sign she had even heard me. She looked at me, and her silence alarmed me more than if she'd started shouting.

"I'm done," she said standing up. "It seems that every time you might be growing up and becoming more accountable you do something even more irresponsible and reckless. I'd really hoped that you'd turned a corner this time, but I can see I was wrong. I can't do this anymore," she said with a note of finality. "I _won't_ do this anymore."

"Mom?" I pleaded with her.

"I'm not your mother," she replied firmly. "I don't _have_ a daughter."

Then she walked away without a backward look, leaving me alone on the bench. I let the sunlight warm me as tears rolled down my cheeks. Janine had never been much of a mother, and I hadn't expected her to be of any practical support, but I hadn't expected her to _disown_ me. Had it been anyone else I would have given them time to calm down and rethink things, but I knew my mother well enough to know that that wasn't her way. In her mind, any connection between the two of us was now irrevocably severed.

It had been an hour, and I didn't want Dr. Olendzki to worry, so I walked back up to the infirmary, slipping unobserved into my room. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep for a year. For once, the Gods must have been listening because I was able to fall asleep without any other calamity befalling me.

* * *

I lay on my bed basking in the afterglow of Galina's bite. Since she'd made her offer to me three days ago, I'd been shadowing her daily, getting an idea of how the operation worked. While I was not yet privy to all the workings of her dominion, I was already stunned by the intricacy and reach of her jurisdiction. The Royal Council had no idea what they were facing, and unless someone stopped her, and soon, the deposition of the Queen and the ruling Moroi would be a fait accompli.

Today was the second time she'd drunk from me, and while I hated myself for liking it, I did. As soon as Galina had finished feeding from me, I'd come back to my room, closing my eyes and picturing Rose. In my blissed out state, it was easy to imagine I was lying beside her; running my fingers through the strands of her long dark hair. That we were kissing. Making love. And while I knew they were only daydreams, I needed them to cope with the horror of the compound.

Because for all its veneer of respectability, it was a brutal place. Galina ruled with an iron fist, and her voice was law. As her current favorite that suited me, but I knew her patience would only extend so far – I had to make her believe I was likely to accept her offer, but at the same time I had to come up with a way to escape this place.

The problem is it was so well secured. Thanks to tinted windows, inside the Strigoi were on guard twenty-four seven on rotating shifts. During the daylight hours, when Strigoi were unable to go outside thanks to the sun's light, paid humans manned the perimeter and every entrance and exit point. Their instructions were explicit – shoot first, ask questions later.

The endorphins from Galina's bite fading, I let my thoughts return to Rose for a minute. It was the 14th of February today. Valentine's Day. I'd never celebrated it before, but I would have this year. I'd have wanted to show Rose that she was special to me. That I loved her.

The sun was just coming up, and suddenly I wanted to see the sunrise again like I had the first day I'd been together with Rose in Missoula. Standing up, I slipped on my duster and stepped out of my luxuriously appointed chamber in the guest wing. The Strigoi guarding my door asked, "Where are you going?"

"I want to feel the sun," I said in a flat voice. Galina made it clear my every request was to be accommodated. "Show me how to access the roof."

The guard looked conflicted.

"I'm not going to jump," I sighed rolling my eyes. "I just want to enjoy it while I still can." I was certain my every action was relayed to Galina, so this would hopefully make her think I was coming around to her idea.

"Follow me," he said. "You have half an hour, no more."

We walked through corridors and up stairs until eventually, we were standing at the foot of an old metal ladder with a door at the top.

"There's a landing up there. Don't move beyond it; the roof is steep and will be slippery with snow."

"Thanks," I said, acknowledging his instructions. "I'll be back down in thirty minutes."

I climbed the ladder, opening the door and stepping onto a perforated metal walkway surrounded by a metal railing. The platform was hidden between two dormer windows and ran back over the main roof of the house. Slipping my gloves on I grasped the railing for support, deciding to explore. I kept my face impassive, looking as though I were merely watching the sun and sky. I knew Galina's security system was second to none, and that the entire building was wired with cameras. While it seemed unlikely that the service area on the roof would receive the same attention, it didn't pay to risk it. I walked to the end of the extended platform and leaned against the railing taking in my surroundings.

On the left was an air intake for the heating system, the primary system a little further over accessed from a second walkway. On my right was an enormous tank. I could see it was supported by a long row of heavy-duty gantries, so it must be incredibly heavy. At first, I thought it must contain fuel for heating, but its position on the roof was wrong for that. It wasn't until I saw it was gas heated that I appreciated it must be the water tank for a gravity-fed sprinkler system.

Surreptitiously looking around I saw no sign of cameras, so I opened the flap of my duster, looking down into my inner pocket as though I were searching for something. In reality, I was taking a sneak peek at my photos of Rose. Committing her every feature to memory yet again. And then, in case anyone _was_ watching, I fished out a hair tie and tied my dark hair at my nape. Then I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the sun thinking there was more than a little truth in what I'd told my Strigoi guard. I did want to enjoy the sun while I could.


	27. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 4

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier, but with Valentine's Day…" Lissa trailed off, noticing my somber mood.

It was 8 pm on Wednesday, and I'd been back at the Academy just over thirty hours. I hadn't expected to see Lissa any earlier. By the time I woke up after seeing Janine, as I now mentally called her instead of Mom, Lissa had already been in classes for the day, and after school, she was with Christian for Valentine's Day. Lissa must have had her little chat with Brandon because she and Christian had spent the entire afternoon _alone_ in the Church attic getting it on.

It had been a wonderful afternoon for her. Sparky had pulled out all the stops – there were flowers all over their love bower, he had chocolate and strawberries and had even managed to procure a bottle of Champagne for them to share over dinner. It had been everything Lissa had hoped for, and as a result, she was deliriously happy today.

"It's fine, I mostly slept," I lied, not wanting to make her feel bad. There's no point telling her I'd spent the day bored out of my skull or trying to distract myself from replaying the scene with Janine over and over in my head. "Tell me all about it," I encouraged, trying to sound enthusiastic and not let her know I'd already seen most of it when I'd been pulled into her head. So for the next five minutes, she detailed every aspect of her Valentine's Day, including showing me the glittering emerald necklace Christian had bought her.

"It's beautiful," I admired. "And it suits you," I said with a smile.

"Thanks," she beamed. "I'm so happy and in love! Also, I've come to a decision…" she started hesitantly. "I've been thinking about it for a while, and I've decided to come off my medication. I think I'm in a better place mentally to cope with using my magic again." She looked nervous but resolute.

"Well, just keep an eye on it," I said, not thrilled. With our bond, decisions like these affected both of us, and it would have been nice to be consulted, but with the news I was about to drop on her, I couldn't exactly make a big deal out of it.

"So what's going on with you?" Lissa asked in an attempt to move the conversation on now she'd made her announcement.

I took a huge breath and said, "Actually Lissa, there is something I need to talk to you about, and I'm freaking out about it, so please just let me get it out before you say anything, ok?"

Lissa immediately looked concerned. "Ok," she agreed reluctantly.

"And please don't go off your head…"

She nodded, grasping my hands as she sat on the edge of my hospital bed.

"Ok - so you know how I was taken to the hospital after that training accident? Well, there was a bit more to it than that. The reason they took me to the human hospital is because they don't have the equipment needed here to look after me. Well… Look after _us._ I was hit in the stomach, Lissa – Dr. Olendzki had to send me to the human hospital to be checked because I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant?" she whispered in shock.

"Thirteen weeks this Friday," I confirmed. "I'll be twenty-seven weeks when I graduate, so I'm trying to make it through to then without everyone knowing."

She sat and stared at me.

"How long have you known?" she finally whispered.

"I found out after dinner Christmas Day," I said, trying to get a read off her face – but all I could see was shock. "So far only Eddie, Mason, and a few of the staff know. Oh - and I told my mother yesterday, and she disowned me."

"Eddie and Mason know?! Why didn't you tell _me_?"

"Well at first I was in too much shock, and then you went to the Lazar's ski lodge. By the time you got back, I thought I'd wait until the first trimester was over. There didn't seem like any point upsetting everyone if I miscarried. And I didn't tell Eddie and Mason; they were there when the training accident happened, and what with my barely eating because of the morning sickness Eddie figured it out."

"So who's the father?" she asked tightly, not meeting my gaze.

I closed my eyes. "Dimitri," I whispered.

"Who?" Lissa asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"Dimitri. The baby is Dimitri's."

"If you don't want to tell me then don't," Lissa snapped pulling her hands back from mine. "But there's no need to lie about it!"

"I'm _not_ lying, Lissa. Do you remember that mock qualifier trip Dimitri and I went on before just before he was reallocated? Well, it wasn't a mock qualifier. We went away for a weekend to be _together._ I'm not sure how it's possible for two Dhampir to make a baby, but he's the only man I've been with, so the baby is his."

I could feel anger surging through the bond.

"I've known you a long time, Rose, but this is the most repulsive thing you've ever done! Lying about something like this and naming a man who isn't even here to defend his reputation! Why can't you just admit you were stupid and got yourself in trouble instead of trying to destroy what Guardian Belikov and Tasha have? _Plus_ trying to ruin the relationship I'm building with her! I know you're jealous of me, but that's no reason to spoil _my_ happiness and try to bring me down to your pathetic level! You're so selfish it's unbelievable. I don't think I've ever actually known you, Rose. And I don't think I _want_ to."

I stared at my best friend of almost fourteen years with sadness. After the emotional battering I'd taken over the last week, I couldn't feel angry. In truth, I couldn't feel much of anything.

"I'm sorry you don't believe me, but it's the truth. I'd never lie to you about something as serious as this. I'm very tired now - perhaps you should leave," I suggested in a small voice. I wanted her gone before I started to cry.

"Oh, I'll leave, alright. Just don't expect me to come back. And _stay out of my head!_ " she hissed

Lissa stormed out of the infirmary – probably off to the feeders and then her classes. I could feel her fury through the bond, so I tried to distract myself. First I pulled out one of my texts. I had an Animal Behavior and Physiology test in a week or two, so I was studying for that now while I couldn't focus on my combat training. I was staring at the words in my book, but it was hard to see them through my tears.

So blinking them back I pulled out the baby name book Celeste had bought, staring at the four precious pictures I'd used as a bookmark.

"Oh Junior, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you are so very loved," I whispered, resting my hand on my stomach.

I decided to go through the book and make a list of girls names I liked. I'd been thinking about it, and I wanted a Russian name but something that Americans would be able to say correctly. I already had a shortlist of boys names, the vast majority of them Russian, but I'd neglected to produce a list for a girl. Either the book I had wasn't particularly comprehensive, or Russian names were weird. I couldn't find anything I liked the sound of, so I closed my eyes and leaned back against the bed head thinking about Dimitri.

Today I was thinking about the many hours we'd spent training together. The way someone so huge could paradoxically also be so graceful. The looks he'd give me that only I could decipher. The joy we'd had in spending hours together watching the sun set as we did laps side by side. I thought about the roughness of his hands, but how they were always so gentle and reverent when he'd touch me. The way his lips would curl in the softest smile and the impossible length of his eyelashes as they rested on his cheeks when he slept.

How could I explain to Junior that their father had been the most dangerous man I knew, yet also the most tender? How he could have whole conversations with me with just one look? How could I hope to paint a picture that made him real to Junior if they never got the chance to meet him?

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"

It was Alberta's voice, so I opened my eyes.

"How could you tell?"

"You had a smile you only ever give to him," she explained. "So you know your Mom has left? She left a couple of hours after you spoke with her."

"Janine," I corrected. "She's disowned me. She said she doesn't have a daughter, so I guess that means I no longer have a Mom."

"Give her time, Rose – she'll come around."

"Thanks, Alberta, but we both know that isn't true. And it's ok. I wasn't expecting any help from her, but it would have been nice to have her to talk to. I'm feeling very alone right now," I admitted shamefully.

"We're here for you, Rose. Celeste and I. And you have your friends, too. Have you told Lissa yet?"

I looked at her balefully.

"Yeah, she dropped by before class. She's furious with me and doesn't believe me about Dimitri. She called me selfish, said I'm jealous of her and 'trying to bring her down to my pathetic level.' I know she's angry and surprised, but it hurt." I could hear my voice wavering. I was trying to stay strong.

"I'm sorry," Alberta sighed sitting beside me and putting her arm around my shoulders. "It will get better. I promise."

She was right – because at midnight an hour or so after she'd left I smelled the unmistakable scent of pizza. Sitting up in bed, I saw a very welcome sight; Mason with Eddie who was holding a stack of pizza boxes.

"Is that _real_ store bought pizza?" I moaned, mentally contemplating my chances of distracting Mason long enough to fight Eddie for the entire stack of cheesy goodness.

"It is," Mason confirmed. "Alberta said you needed cheering up, so she sent Emil to drive and pick up five pizzas and then gave us the rest of the afternoon off class to eat them with you."

I was still planning how to tackle Eddie when Mason held up a couple of bottles of soda and a brown paper bag.

"And I dropped by the cafeteria and brought soda and a bag of chocolate doughnuts," he revealed with a grin, eager not to be outdone by Eddie.

"God I love you two," I groaned, already imagining the pizza in my mouth. "Let's go to the lounge area and eat!" We spread out in the small patient lounge and even found a decent enough movie on the TV. Closing the door, we sat and ate pizza, drank soda and then I had some doughnuts. Eventually, I could fit no more in, so I lay back on the sofa and undid the top button on my pants.

"Wow, Rose. Are you showing already?" Eddie asked, looking at my bulging stomach.

"Nah. That's just the pizza!" I laughed but feeling a little wary. It was the first time they'd mentioned my pregnancy.

"So. Pregnant hey? How did that happen?" Mason said awkwardly, blushing a deep red when Eddie and I looked at him and cracked up. It was just what we needed to break the tension.

"Yes, pregnant. Thirteen weeks this Friday. I don't want to talk about the father other than to let you know it wasn't a one-night stand or anything like that. While it wasn't planned, we were very much in love, but for reasons I can't go into he's not currently part of any of this."

Mason didn't look satisfied with that as an explanation.

"So he's left you pregnant to deal with everything on your own? Sounds like a real catch, Rose," he grumbled sarcastically.

"Let it go, Duckie," I warned. "I can't tell you everything, but if I could, you'd understand. Please don't put him down - I'm still in love with him, and it hurts to hear you say things like that."

Eddie silenced Mason with a look before quickly moving on to the latest gossip. Guardian Townsend was apparently refusing to let Blake spar with anyone other than himself during classes and, according to Eddie, Townsend appeared to be taking great pleasure in knocking Blake to the ground every chance he got.

"You should hear him, Rose. Every time Townsend bows or offers his hand to help Blake up after laying him on his ass, he goes on about how this is how an _honorable_ Guardian fights," Eddie snickered. "You can see it's pissing Blake off big time, but he's on his last chance, so he dares not say anything back."

I smiled. While I'd been dreading the prospect of going back to classes, and Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques, in particular, seeing Blake abased in front of the class might make it worthwhile!

"What are the other students saying? About me going to hospital?"

"Not a lot," Eddie reassured. "People have moved on since then. Valentine's Day was a big distraction."

"Good! Hey, how did your date with Chelsea go?"

"Yeah, it was great. She really liked the picnic."

"So are you two together now?" I asked giving him a cheeky look.

"I guess so," Eddie said flushing slightly.

"They're all over each other," Mason confirmed, slapping an embarrassed Eddie on the back. " _And_ she's sitting at our table now." Sitting at the same cafeteria table for meals was the St Vladimir's way of announcing you were a couple. Things _must_ be serious!

"That's great, Eddie. She's nice," I smiled. "You haven't told her about this have you?" I checked, pointing to my stomach.

"No. I haven't said a word," he promised, "to anyone."

"Only because you're too busy using your lips for other things," Mason joked.

The guys were still visiting at the end of classes when Celeste came by.

"Hey, Rose! Castile, Ashford," she greeted. "I'm glad you're here – I was going to come find you two. I've got a meeting later with the combat teachers to work out how to modify Rose's training schedule. She's going to be doing most of her active work with the other Guardians and me, but to try and avoid suspicion you two will be sparring with her from time to time." Celeste grabbed a slice of pizza and between bites outlined the moves the guys had to avoid and generally how things were going to be managed in classes. I felt guilty that this was inconveniencing so many people.

The guys left after a while, promising to visit me again tomorrow, but Celeste stayed to hang out - telling me the latest from Stella's e-mails. She'd learned to take selfies using the camera on the computer, and also send attachments, so much to Celeste's delight, she was getting photos on an almost daily basis. I was flicking through them on her phone when Celeste said she'd better get ready for the meeting with Alberta and the other Guardians.

"Hey?" I asked, a thought coming to me. "How did Alberta get Kirova to agree to modify my timetable rather than just expelling me? The old bat _hates_ me. I thought she would have been itching to get rid of me?"

Celeste looked around carefully, making sure she wouldn't be overheard.

"They had a _massive_ fight about it. I was waiting for Alberta in the corridor, and I could hear them going at it even through two closed doors. In the end, Alberta said if Kirova didn't let you stay then she'd put in for reallocation, and someone else could be Captain of the Guard here."

My mouth dropped open. Alberta threatened to _leave St. Vladimir's?_ For me?

"What did Kirova say? Oh my God – what if she'd taken her up on it?!"

"It would never happen," Celeste reassured me. "No one wants Alberta's job. She took leave for six weeks while you were away with Lissa, and the place just about fell apart. Alberta leaving is Kirova's worst nightmare, and Alberta knows it," Celeste said with a naughty grin. "I'd better get to this meeting. I'm on a shift afterward, but I'll come by tomorrow."

Alone again I laid back on the bed and pondered what Celeste had said. It seems like I owed Alberta even more than I'd realized.

* * *

Dr. Olendzki finished examining me, giving me a clean bill of health.

"Take it as easy as you can. I've approved your amended training plan, but please don't deviate from it. If you have any concerns, come and see me. I'd also like to see you once a week to check on you and baby. The weekends tend to be a little quieter, so maybe then?"

"Sure Dr. Olendzki," I agreed, trying not to show her how nervous I was. It was 7 pm on Friday, and I was finally being discharged. I was going to be starting back in classes today. Shouldering my duffel bag, I headed back to my dorm room to get dressed. After a week in hospital rooms, it was nice to be home. I took Dimitri's photos from my bag, carefully pinning them back onto my wall, adding my four pictures of Junior.

I chose my sweats for the morning and hit the shower, careful not to wet my hair. I was standing under the spray psyching myself up for the day. I hadn't spoken to Lissa since Wednesday, and I'd also done my best to block out the bond. She must have been doing likewise because I hadn't felt anything after her initial anger wore off. I'd have to see her today, and I had no clue how she was going to react. I hoped she was ready to talk and listen because I really needed the support of my best friend.

Checking my clock, I had fifteen minutes before I was due to meet Mason at the base of the dorm stairs. He'd offered to walk to breakfast with me, so I wasn't coming in alone. I brushed my hair and put on some waterproof mascara and a natural colored lip-gloss. While I was hoping people wouldn't stare too much, I didn't want to look unwell.

Unable to put it off any longer, I grabbed my gym bag with my clothes for the rest of the day and took the stairs to the ground floor. True to his word Mason was waiting there.

"Don't stress it," he said, correctly interpreting my nerves. "Most people have forgotten about the accident. We'll just go in, eat, and then go to class."

I gave him a wan smile and reached over to squeeze his hand.

"Thanks, Mase. I really appreciate this."

"Come on then – let's do this," he said walking beside me into the packed cafeteria.

The chatter seemed to die down when we entered, but I pretended not to notice. Our usual table was empty other than Chelsea, Eddie and a couple of her friends. Eddie looked up and gave me a small smile, but it was uneasy. Chelsea smiled, too, but there was pity in her gaze. Mason and I were halfway across the room when I heard my name.

"Hey! Hathaway? I know you missed the birds and the bees lesson when you were away with Lissa, but so that you know - two Dhampir can't have kids together. You'll have to find another guy to blame for knocking you up!"

I looked around in complete shock to where Jesse Zeklos sat with a smug expression on his face. He was sitting at a table with a bunch of royal Moroi, all of who were sniggering. All of them except for Christian and Lissa that is. Lissa was looking at me with a challenging look of righteous anger – but even that was nothing compared to the attention I was receiving from the ice-blue eyes beside hers. Because sitting beside Lissa was Tasha Ozera, her gaze proving she was outraged and vengeful.


	28. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 5

"You were on the roof at daybreak?" Galina asked curiously. "What were you doing up there?" We were in her sitting room, and she'd dismissed her personal guards. As I'd suspected, my movements were being reported to her.

"Yes. I miss feeling the sun," I said with a shrug. "And it's a quiet place to think."

"And what have you been thinking about?"

"Well, today I've been wondering what Nathan and Marko have to say to one another that needs to be said outside. Twice I've seen them slinking off to talk with one another privately."

Nathan was probably the closest Galina had to a second, although I knew she didn't trust him. Marko was one of the seniors charged with organizing the meeting in a month's time.

"Do you think I need to be concerned?" Galina asked looking at me carefully.

"Yes."

From my observations, I'd determined all Strigoi were ambitious, to an extent, but like many Moroi, Dhampir, and humans they weren't going to waste energy pursuing supremacy if their needs were already being satisfactorily met. Nathan was cut from a different cloth. He was the type that needed to be in charge. He craved power. While he might play along in a subordinate role for a while, eventually he'd make his play to usurp Galina.

"He reminds me of Nikita," I explained, referring to a student we'd both known at St Basil's. Unfailingly ambitious, Nikita's abilities hadn't been on par with his sense of entitlement, and he'd come spectacularly unstuck. "Nathan is a lot smarter, but he has that same need Nikita did," I explained.

"So what do you suggest I do?" Galina queried shrewdly, and something about it seemed familiar. Like the way she used to quiz me when I was a student, and she already knew the answer. Either she was already aware of a plot involving Nathan and Marko, or it was a test. Whichever the case, what I was saying was not news to her, but I could tell she was pleased I had picked up on it.

"You could kill one or both of them," I started, "but if there is a plot, you won't know how deep the rot has spread. Maybe the gardeners need to put some microphones outside? They like to talk in the rose garden…"

"And then?"

"Find out what they're planning, thwart it and use them as a public example to remind the army that you demand absolute loyalty. Maybe at the meeting?" I suggested, knowing such a plan would appeal to Galina's showmanship and sense of occasion.

"Who do I put on the job to investigate? You?" Another test, but this time I was expecting it.

"No. Nathan is already suspicious enough of me. He knows we have a history, so he'll be careful when I'm around. Look for someone with a similar personality among the newly awakened. Probably a Dhampir who agreed to be awakened as soon as they got the offer. Someone he has no reason to suspect. Present it to them as a special project with a chance to gain favor with you. Nathan pays no attention to any of the junior ranks. If you choose someone unremarkable, he's unlikely to even notice them. Place them in close proximity to Nathan, but not directly interacting with him. It's easy to gather information when you're all but invisible.

"As for Marko? Keep an eye on what he's doing. If he suggests anything unusual for the meeting, then it's probably significant and worth paying attention to. Check the orders he's giving to the human security forces, too. But don't let him know you're watching or suspect him. He strikes me as a lot less clever than Nathan, so you're more likely to get an idea of the details of any plan through him."

Galina looked thoughtful.

"Today he suggested accommodating some of the visiting awakened outside in temporary lodgings. He said we didn't have enough room for everyone to stay inside the main building," she revealed.

"Don't you? Have enough room?" I challenged, lifting an eyebrow in disbelief.

"It could be tight," she admitted with a pleased smile.

Shit! How big _was_ the full army?!

"What if you also used the Dhampir and Moroi dorms and had the troops sleep in shifts? It's only for what – two days? Strategically, I think that's safer than splitting your forces. You know better than I, the first rule in warfare is divide and conquer," I stated with authority, drawing on her extensive experience and teachings as a Guardian.

"What would we do with those currently in the dorms?"

"You must be almost through the force that the Royal Council sent by now? We were the best of the best - recruiting anyone else at this stage will be more of a drain on your resources than an addition. As you don't have time to train them, rabble in the ranks of the main force will make your army look weak. Once you process those already in the dorms, if you recruit no more everyone will already be awakened or deceased, and their beds will be available for use." I steeled myself not to flinch when I spoke of those who elected not to be awakened. With such a large army all fed on blood, those who chose death were used to supplement the blood procured in other ways.

Galina looked at me, her eyes shining.

"You haven't lost your touch, Belikov. We still make a great team. So, do you have any questions about being awakened?"

I cursed my rookie mistake. I needed to pay more attention to appearing to consider her offer. Had I been _genuinely_ considering being awakened, of course I would have questions!

"Yes, I do actually. I've been thinking about my family. I'm not sure how I'll feel about them if I'm awakened, but right now it would make my decision easier if I knew I could take care of them financially. Presently, my Guardian wage supports my mother, grandmother, three sisters, nephew, and niece. Once I'm declared missing presumed dead or awakened, they'll get my Guardian pension - but with such a large family it won't go far…"

Galina seemed unsurprised.

"What you're requesting is not unusual. I can schedule a one-off payment to them. Given you'll be my second in command I'm prepared to be _very_ generous – your whole family will want for nothing."

"That would be a weight off my mind," I murmured, suppressing a shudder as she played with the ends of my hair where they lay against the nape of my neck.

* * *

Mason was almost pulling me across to the table where Eddie and the others sat. Thank God it was in the corner, and they'd left seats for Mason and I facing the window, so my back was to most of the cafeteria.

"Just breathe, I'm right here. You can't run, Rose. If you run now, they'll go after you like a pack of psi-hounds. Ignore them and focus on us," Mason advised, holding my hand tightly. "We're here for you."

Chelsea nodded leaning across and squeezed my other hand.

"I know we're not close, but I'm here for you, too, Rose."

I sat in shock. How did this happen? I knew it wouldn't have been Eddie or Mason, and I doubted any of the staff would have said anything so that only left Lissa. My best friend. The person I'd spent my entire life defending and protecting. I'd potentially sacrificed my education and future when I'd taken her on the run. I'd lied and covered for her innumerable times, always at my expense. I let her feed from me when she needed to so we could stay concealed. Hell – I'd even denied myself a shot at a life with love so that I could put her first. How could she do this to me?!

I closed my eyes and did something I'd never done before. I forced my way into Lissa's mind – deliberately shoving aside her mental barricades. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking, and I wanted to know now. It was easier than I'd expected, but maybe that's because her emotions were already running high?

The most immediate thought was satisfaction. Lissa thought she'd been deliberately kept in the dark and deceived. She was pleased that my lies and secrets had been so publicly exposed. Part of her thought I deserved everything I got. But then there was guilt. She'd known for some time things had not been right with me, but she'd intentionally ignored it and looked the other way. For the first time since returning to St. Vladimir's, she'd been happy, and she hadn't wanted to look too hard at anything that could bring her down; even though she'd sensed I was deeply unhappy but trying to put a good face on it.

Finally, there was uncertainty and a little anger. She'd been _livid_ when she'd gone to Christian's dorm to tell him about what I'd just disclosed to her in the infirmary. She'd expected him to listen, agree with her that I was obviously lying, then keep his mouth shut until I was ready to talk to her and come clean with the truth. She _hadn't_ expected him to call his Aunt and tell her everything! Something about the way Tasha had flown straight over for another visit, and was so quick to demonize me and share my secrets with everyone bothered Lissa. It was a side to Tasha she'd never seen before, and it alarmed her. Plus she was angry with Christian for putting her in this position. She felt he should have known what she'd said to him was in confidence.

Just now when she'd seen the stricken look on my face – a look of absolute betrayal and humiliation - part of her had wanted to come across and comfort me. To tell me this wasn't what she'd meant to happen. But then she was certain I was lying and had brought it all on myself in the first place.

I'd heard enough, so I pulled myself out of her head. Eddie was looking at me with concern.

"You ok, Rose?" he asked softly.

"Just thinking," I lied. "So I take it by now the entire school knows I'm pregnant?"

Chelsea's eyes dropped to the table. It was obvious she'd heard the gossip, but it was another thing to hear the admission from my own lips.

"I'm afraid so, Rose," he said softly. "Brandon came in this morning with Tasha Ozera talking at the top of their lungs about it. They apparently wanted everyone to hear. It was all over the cafeteria within minutes."

"What were they saying, exactly?"

"That you were taken to the human hospital because you're pregnant, that you were trying to keep it a secret until you graduated, and that you're claiming the baby is Guardian Belikov's. Tasha said you were saying it's his in order not to have to name the real father."

"A baby with another Dhampir?" I laughed mirthlessly, "did she say anything else about Dimitri?"

"She said he's been reallocated on a really dangerous mission and is unlikely to survive," Eddie continued.

"That part is true," I said sadly. "He never went to visit his family. He was reallocated in the first week of December," I said softly.

"You knew all this time, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, Eddie, but I was sworn to secrecy."

"That's why you started training with Guardian Matthews instead," he said, nodding his head as he put it together.

"Yep."

I could hear people at the other tables talking about me, and all I wanted to do was cry. But Mason had been right. I couldn't show weakness.

"Mase? Come get some food with me?" I implored.

"You got it," he said with false bravado.

"I want some more bacon – I'll come too," Chelsea generously offered. "Us Dhamp girls have to stick together!"

So despite the conjecture of half the cafeteria, I got up and joined the food queue. Mason, Chelsea and I were waiting when a Moroi I barely knew in front of me said sarcastically, "Better get lots, now. You're eating for two…"

Chelsea bristled, but Mason laughed.

"That won't be a problem – Hathaway has always eaten enough for three people."

He smiled at me, and I gave him a high five. "Damn right," I said, heaping my plate with bacon, toast, and eggs. "You know, the best thing about morning sickness being over is being able to smell bacon again without barfing," I said conversationally, aware that other people could hear me. "There's nothing more sadistic than craving bacon but the smell of it making you want to hurl."

I wasn't going to give anyone else the satisfaction of knowing I was hurting. I knew Mason could see it – but he'd known me as long as Lissa had, and in some ways he knew me better than she did. For example, he knew his pity was the last thing I wanted or needed right now – that I needed a friend who could help me stay on my A-Game and pretend I wasn't having my heart ripped out.

"So Rose? I know you have training after class, but after dinner did you want to come study for the Senior Language Arts exam with Meredith, Angela and me? Only if you don't have other plans?" Chelsea asked nervously.

"I'd really like that," I said. It was a kind offer, and I appreciated it.

"Great! How about we meet at my room once you're finished training and then we can all go down to dinner together? We can head back up afterward to study. We usually use the small lounge at the end of the women's corridor," she explained.

"Sounds great!" I said with a tentative smile.

Back at the table Eddie and Mason did their best to keep the conversation flowing and off the topic of my pregnancy. Behind me I could hear Tasha's annoying voice trilling with laughter, my name occasionally mentioned, but I refused to give her the enjoyment of acknowledging her presence or giving her a reaction. It was almost time to head to class, and still, that group hadn't left, so I was working up my resolve to walk past them when Celeste arrived.

"Hey Rose," she said, flopping onto the bench beside me. "I went to the infirmary, but Dr. O said you'd already been discharged. I'm in your classes this morning – want to walk with me?"

"Will you be ok in combat classes with the baby?" Chelsea asked innocently. "After what happened with Blake?"

Celeste's eyebrows shot up, but she said nothing.

"The Guardians know about the baby and are running an adjusted program for me," I said to Chelsea. Turning to Celeste I said, "Pretty much the whole school knows I'm pregnant. Tasha Ozera decided to tell everyone."

Celeste muttered something particularly unflattering under her breath.

"Well come on then. Let's get you to class and show them that even pregnant you can kick ass." She stood up, and I grabbed my bag. The others stood to leave as well, and as a group, we walked through the cafeteria and off to class.

"You know I've been thinking of all the pregnancy-related shit I can pull on Alto now the truth is out," I joked to Celeste, knowing she could see the fear and panic in my eyes.

"He's actually been very supportive in the meetings we've had," Celeste said, sounding surprised herself.

"Stop it – you're just scaring me now," I chuckled.

It was _Advanced Guardian Combat Techniques_ with Townsend first up. I walked in and put my bag down with the others. Guardian Townsend directed us all to start our warm-ups before coming over to speak with me.

"It appears the entire school knows I'm pregnant, so there's no need for secrecy anymore," I told him straight up. No point beating around about things. "I've got a copy of my approved amended training timetable which I'll work on with Celeste over here. Also, I might as well use one of the body protectors now everyone knows," I suggested.

"Good idea. I'll come over a little later and work with you. I want to assess where you're at so I can get you to be where you need to be to be signed off as soon as possible," he acknowledged.

"Thank you," I said with a small smile, before going to the supply cupboard to get one of the abdominal protectors. A bit like a padded singlet, it was a bitch to get on and off, but it would offer Junior protection if anyone slipped and landed a kick where they shouldn't. I selected one that looked as though it was the right size and brought it back for Celeste to help me get into. I straightened it on my hips, and Celeste tightened it at the back before I spun around to face her.

"How do I look?" I asked glibly, knowing full well I looked ridiculous. Celeste said nothing, but looked at me incredulously, pointing to my stomach. I looked down and absolutely lost it in laughter, as did she.

Townsend looked at us with irritation from where he was working with the rest of the class.

"Is there something _funny_ ladies? Perhaps you'd like to share your little joke?"

I turned around with a smirk and pointed to my belly. Townsend's eyes flipped down to where I was pointing, and his lips curled at the corners before he, too, started laughing. In fact, the whole class was giggling as they looked at my abdomen.

"Surely not?" he asked between chuckles.

"Oh _God_ no – don't wish _that_ on me!" I said still laughing. "Definitely _not_ the case!"

Without thinking, I'd picked up a protector made by one of the more popular boxing companies. There, emblazoned in pride of place directly over my stomach, was their name and logo. 'Twins.'


	29. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 6

I had to hand it to the Mason and Eddie – since my pregnancy had become public knowledge I was never left alone. I'm pretty sure they'd worked out a roster, because there was always someone walking me between classes, to meals, or suggesting a study session. Celeste was with me from 6 pm. She'd spin past my dorm, and we'd walk together to morning training, then up to breakfast before heading to my morning combat lessons then lunch.

After lunch, I was with Eddie, Mason, Chelsea, Angela, Meredith or some combination thereof. Chelsea, Meredith, and Angela had been wonderful including me in their activities as though I'd always been a part of their group. From the first study night, they'd just accepted me. They'd not asked a thing about Junior's father, although Meredith must know there was at least some truth to the speculation that there'd been something going on between Dimitri and me.

Along with Eddie and Mason, the six of us now sat at 'our' table – regularly being joined by other Dhampir. It was funny; the whole pregnancy had brought out a previously latent Moroi/Dhampir schism. The Moroi and the Royal Moroi, in particular, saw a pregnant Dhampir girl as a source of amusement and derision. Dhampir, on the other hand, saw this as an unfortunate reality of what happened in our community and almost universally banded together to support me, even the Guardians. Not that I wasn't super grateful. I don't think I would have made it through the first few days without their help; the teasing and lewd comments from some of the Moroi were almost unbearable.

Alberta and I had eaten lunch privately in her office on Saturday, and I'd brought her up to speed on what had happened. She was beyond furious with Tasha and wasn't overjoyed with Lissa, Christian, or Brandon for the parts they'd played either.

"I can't throw Tasha off campus until she does something," Alberta said with annoyance. "But if she's this blatant about things, it will only be a matter of time. In the meantime, I've asked the dorm matron to make sure she doesn't enter the Dhampir dorms, and I'd like you to make sure you're always with someone else when you travel around campus."

Tasha had stayed the weekend, flitting from Moroi group to group spreading gossip and rumors about me. First of all, she claimed I was a slut, a fact all the Moroi guys agreed with although when pressed no one seemed to be able to name a single guy who'd actually slept with me. Then she told everyone I was a blood whore. Things were getting completely out of hand by Monday.

Over the weekend I'd suddenly 'popped.' Only the tiniest little swell, it could easily have been explained away had everyone not already known the truth. But I was feeling particularly self-conscious about my body, so Celeste and I had finished our session five minutes early so I could shower and be dressed again by the time the other girls hit the change rooms after _Weight Training and Conditioning_.

We were coming back out to the gym when we saw Tasha standing near the change rooms looking at the batch of students training and trying to locate me. She'd been trying to catch me alone all weekend, but as per Alberta's warning, I was always accompanied. Tasha must have realized that a one-on-one wasn't going to happen, because when she spotted me coming out of the change rooms beside Celeste, she squared her jaw and hissed, "Stop spreading lies about _my_ Dimka. He wouldn't look twice at a whore like you."

"Tasha he's not _your_ Dimka, and he never was. He _did_ choose to be with me, and we're very much in love. He's never felt that way about you, and from what I've been told, neither did Ivan. You need to stop obsessing over men who _just don't want you_."

I knew she was going to try something physical as soon as I said that, and she didn't disappoint. She roared and jumped towards me, aiming punches at my head. The students finishing their lesson with Guardian Martinez at the other end of the gym spun around in time to see me jumping back defensively and Celeste deftly putting Tasha into a headlock as the latter tried to attack me.

"Lady Ozera, please control yourself," Celeste said in an impassive voice that was still loud enough to be heard clearly by our impromptu audience. "I'm going to let you go now, but I'll be forced to restrain you again if you continue trying to attack a student." Celeste looked at me with the slightest twinkle in her eyes.

She started to release Tasha, who did look as though she might behave herself, when I turned my back so the students couldn't see me when I whispered, "And Dimitri's _amazing_ in bed…"

Tasha roared, completely losing it. She lunged at me again, her fist flying towards me, but as it was anticipated, I easily stopped it. Celeste immobilized her a second time.

"Hathaway, go wait for me at Guardian Petrov's office. Martinez? Can I have a hand with Lady Ozera here?" Celeste requested in a weary tone of voice.

I grabbed my bag and took myself to the Guardian block. Once I was there, I outlined to Alberta what had happened.

"I might have kind of provoked her a little, especially the second time," I admitted, chewing on my thumbnail.

Alberta sighed with exasperation. "What did you say?"

"Trust me you don't want to know, but it was nothing but the truth," I promised.

Alberta told me to sit on one of the chairs outside her office.

"I'm going to go grab a snack. I'll be back in about three minutes," she said innocuously, closing the door to her office and disappearing in the direction of the Guardian lounge.

"Hathaway? Where's Guardian Petrov?" Martinez asked a few minutes later as Tasha walked between him and Celeste towards Alberta's office. I shrugged.

"Is there a problem?" Alberta asked with raised eyebrows, coming down the hallway seeing the four of us waiting outside her office.

"I'm afraid so, Guardian Petrov. There was a problem in my _Weight Training and Conditioning_ class," Guardian Martinez said. "Could we…?" he gestured to Alberta's office.

"Please step inside," Alberta invited, opening the door to her office. "Hathaway? Wait outside."

Not that there was much point excluding me – I could hear every word from where I was sitting. Martinez did most of the talking, outlining what he'd seen – Tasha apparently lying in wait for Celeste and I. Celeste then repeated verbatim what Tasha had said.

"And when Hathaway asked her to step back, Lady Ozera tried to attack her," she concluded.

"That's not what happened! That bitch said she and Dimitri were in love and all other sorts of nonsense," Tasha snarled. "She's been going around telling everyone Guardian Belikov is the father of her baby!"

"Yes, I've heard that rumor, although the people I've spoken to have all claimed _you_ were the one who'd told them that. Of course, it's all rather far-fetched – two Dhampir…" Alberta said in a tone of disbelief.

"Of course it's a lie!" Tasha bellowed.

"Well, as I said, I'm yet to have anyone report to me Hathaway has made any such claim. By all accounts, she's refusing to name the father. It all sounds like a silly case of Chinese Whispers to me, but the fact remains you twice tried to attack a student of this school, and two Guardians and over twenty Novices witnessed you doing so. I know your nephew attends St. Vladimir's, so I'd hate to have to restrict your visiting access, but you're not leaving me a lot of choices. I understand with your… interest… in Guardian Belikov, it's a distressing time for you, but it would save a lot of paperwork, and avoid me having to involve the Guardian Council if you decided to return to your home within the next twenty-four hours and refrained from visiting again until graduation."

"You're telling me to leave campus?" Tasha shouted aggressively.

"Lady Ozera, I am _telling_ you no such thing. I am _suggesting_ given your conduct today it might be easier for everyone if you decided of your own volition to return to your home. Don't be concerned about stupid high school gossip. In my experience, the truth will out," Alberta concluded sagely.

I was hugely relieved the next day when a quick peek into Lissa's mind while I was showering proved Tasha had reluctantly taken Alberta's advice and left campus. What was surprising was the relief Lissa felt. Tasha's visit had been difficult for her, too.

Without Tasha there to continually incite discord, a lot of the overt harassment about my pregnancy died down, although there was still a vocal minority who wasted no opportunity to remind me they knew about it. Jesse Zeklos being one of them. Thinking back to the night my Russian God had caught me with my top off making out with Jesse, I felt revolted. I'd do anything for Dimitri not to have seen or known about that. Actually, I'd prefer it had just never happened. As far as experiences went, it hadn't been much of one, but I would still rather _all_ my experiences had been with Dimitri.

It had been eleven weeks since Dimitri left. There'd still been no news. And today I was due to attend my first meeting with the counselor Deirdre. I wasn't looking forward to it. Recalling what Alberta said, the purpose of the sessions with Deirdre were two-fold; trying to work out a future for Junior and me, and discussing my feelings about Dimitri. And both were complicated.

Fronting up to the counseling area in the administrative building, I was met by a young looking blonde Moroi. She looked way too young to be counseling students, but the degrees on her wall said otherwise. I flopped down onto the chair in front of her desk. She started by presenting me with paperwork to sign, explaining that what we spoke about was completely confidential. Alberta had encouraged me to be fully honest about Dimitri, pointing out that strictly speaking no Academy rules had been broken; the weekend Dimitri and I spent in Missoula he had been on his own time between allocations. While there might be ramifications for a student having a sexual relationship with a staff member, the same was not true for a _former_ staff member. It was a specious argument, but it hardly mattered now. Because after seventy-seven days, I was quickly coming to the conclusion that Dimitri wasn't going to be coming back to me, and that the only consequence of our love was nestled in my abdomen.

"So what do you want to discuss first?" Deirdre asked. "I've prepared some information about options going forward, but it might be useful also to look at the events which have led up to where we are right now."

"I don't have time to look back," I said with a brittle voice. "I need to make some decisions. I am going to be homeless and penniless in fourteen weeks at seven months pregnant. I need a game plan. It will probably save a lot of time if I tell you I have no family, no connections and the baby's father is not going to be a part of this."

Reaching into the drawer of her desk, Deirdre pulled out various brochures.

"Well there's not a lot out there," she started, pushing the first flyer across to me, "but St. Agatha's offers a good adoption program for Dhampir children. They'll usually take you from eight months pregnant, but given your age and circumstances, we might be able to get you in earlier."

"Adoption?! Nooo… I plan on keeping my baby. What I need is help to find some way to support us since I won't be able to work as a Guardian, at least at first. I need information on accommodation, childcare, and employment."

Deirdre looked at me as though I'd grown a second head.

"You plan to raise the child yourself?"

"Yes of course," I said. "I'm its mother. I know support in the Moroi world might be hard to come by, so I was considering the human world at least at first. Are there any programs out there? For young mothers? I don't have a social security number, so that will complicate things. I was thinking maybe somewhere in Pennsylvania? If I were close to Court, it would make it easier later when I tried to get work as a Guardian. I don't have any money to move, but most of my friends will be heading to Court at least at first, so there's a good chance I can catch a ride with someone and find a floor to sleep on until I find somewhere more permanent to stay. Oh – and I need information on hospitals or midwives, too. I need to work out where to have this baby without the medical bills costing me a fortune."

Deirdre was scribbling on a pad.

"I'll have a look and see what I can find," she promised. "In the meantime can we talk about the father? Are you certain he can be of no practical help? Even if he's unwilling to be a part of the child's life, he might be able to be of financial assistance? Or his family?"

"No. That won't be happening. The father is away and unlikely to come back. And I doubt his family would believe me even if I told them about the pregnancy."

"What makes you so sure? Accidents _do_ happen you know," she said with an indulgent smile.

"Because he's Dhampir," I snapped, silencing her. "I don't know why or how, but the father is Dhampir. A Guardian. We were very much in love but were only together briefly. He's been reallocated and is not expected to return. He doesn't know."

"What if you tried to contact him?" she asked. "He might put in for reallocation if he knows he's to be a father?"

"I have no way of contacting him," I murmured. "And he's been reallocated on a mission. When I say he is not expected to return, I mean the mission is dangerous, and he is not expected to survive it."

We spoke for another half an hour until I called it a day. The whole thing had been a waste of my time. Until she had some practical information for me, all this was doing was filling in hours when I could be training and getting signed off on my combat skills. I was cutting through the Guardian building on my way to lunch pondering how someone so useless became a counselor when a thought struck me. I'd said I had no way of contacting Dimitri, but that wasn't true. I knew someone who could at the very least get him a message.

I stopped short, another conversation suddenly coming back to me. The conversation I'd had with Dimitri about my mother. He'd said that when a Guardian was a parent, they weren't sent on dangerous missions. Maybe a baby on the way would be good enough?! Maybe if they knew Dimitri was going to be a father, they'd bring him home?

I ran through the building like a woman possessed, racing into Alberta's office. She was sitting with a Dhampir mother and a shamefaced Junior Novice. Having been on the receiving end of them often enough, I recognized a disciplinary meeting when I saw one.

"Hathaway – can you give me half an hour, please?" Alberta said, taking in my flushed face and edgy look.

"Sure," I said, trying not to jump out of my skin with excitement. I can't believe this hadn't occurred to me earlier. I went to the cafeteria to kill time, thinking I should probably eat to settle the butterflies in my stomach. I was almost hugging myself with anticipation. If this went as I hoped, my Russian God would be coming home!

Jesse Zeklos was sitting at a table with Brandon and Christian.

"Hey Hathaway, why are you looking so happy? Has your baby daddy given you something to smile about?" he jeered crudely. "I want it noted I've been in class all morning, so it wasn't me!"

"Jesse the entire universe knows it wasn't you," I replied contemptuously. "I wouldn't touch you with someone _else's_ ten-foot pole."

"Oh, poles… You'd know _all about them_ wouldn't you Rose?" Brandon lewdly implied.

"Yep. I've seen a few. Although some were particularly _underwhelming_ ," I said, stopping and flicking my eyes to Christian meaningfully. " _Tell me what you need to hear, and I'll say it_ ," I said giving him a particularly spiteful look.

The other two looked at me in confusion, but Christian looked stricken. It's what he'd said to Lissa in the church the first time they'd had sex; the time I got stuck in her head and nearly saw way much more of Christian than I _ever_ wanted to. It was a nasty thing to do. I knew he was aware that I could be sucked into Lissa's head - but I'd never let him know I might have been there during any of their intimate moments. Still, thanks to his big mouth and crazy Aunt, the entire school knew I was pregnant, so I wasn't feeling particularly remorseful.

I tossed my hair and left them gaping as I stood in line. I got my usual fruit salad - one of the health concessions I'd made since discovering I was pregnant - but decided a chocolate doughnut was also in order. Getting them to go, I stalked back past a now silent Christian and crew, heading back to Alberta's office. She was just finishing up with the mother and son, so I waited outside until she called me in.

"Rose?"

"Alberta – I need to get a message to Dimitri. He needs to know he's going to be a father!"

"But there's no way to contact him, Rose. You know that" she replied, looking at me sadly.

"But that's not true. There _is_ a way. Guardian Schoenberg knows how to get in touch with him," I explained, a huge smile on my face.


	30. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 7

"If Guardian Schoenberg called the commanding officer again they could get a message to Dimitri to let him know what's happened!" I explained. "I mean – it will be a big shock, and there's a chance Dimitri might not even believe me, but he told me they wouldn't send Guardians who are parents on missions like these, so maybe they'll bring him back to get it checked out? There must be tests they can do? And even if they can't bring him home, at least he'll know about Junior, and we might be able to talk again? I mean, I'm making all the decisions here, but this is his child, too. He deserves to know and get some say in things…"

I think I'd said all of that in one breath, looking at Alberta pleadingly. She returned my gaze thoughtfully.

"You have a point," she said scratching her chin. "At the very least Belikov deserves to be told. I'll give Guardian Schoenberg a call and see what's possible. Don't get your hopes up – if Belikov's in an operational cell, they might not be able to reach him. But you're right. It's worth a try."

I reached across Alberta's desk and squeezed her hand. I understood protocol needed to be followed, but I trusted her to plead my case to Schoenberg. He'd been so understanding last time, surely when Alberta told him I was pregnant with Dimitri's child he'd do whatever it took to get a message to my Russian God?

I knew I should be heeding Alberta's warning about not getting my hopes up, but I was already imagining being back in Dimitri's arms. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to have sex, shower with him or fall sleep in his arms first. Maybe we'd do all three in that order?! I wonder if he'd notice the changes to my body? My baby bump looked more like one too many slices of pizza, but my breasts had definitely changed, and he'd loved playing with my breasts so much. Hopefully, he'd like that there was a bit more of them to play with, I thought apprehensively.

I had a free period up next, so I thought I'd go to the library and get some books I needed for an assignment. I was sitting at the desk pondering how Dimitri would take the news he was going to be a Daddy when I was pulled into Lissa's mind. She and Christian were having a _huge_ argument.

"So just how often is she in there?" Christian was shouting. "Once a day? Once a week? All the time?! Is she some sort of voyeur who gets off on watching what we do?!"

"It's not like that," Lissa replied crossly. "Most of the time she has no control over it. If I get too upset, it pulls her in."

"So you were _upset_ when we had sex for the first time? Does that mean in some weird way I've slept with Rose?" Christian looked like he wanted to barf. Welcome to my world! I felt the same way, and he hadn't had to cope with seeing _me_ naked and whispering sweet nothings!

"No, of _course_ not. It's when my emotions run high. _Any_ sort of feeling. She usually tells me afterward. I know she has been sucked in a few times when we've been about to… you know… but that usually only happens when she's asleep, and her guard is down. As soon as it occurs, she pulls herself out of my head and distracts herself by going to the gym or for a run. She said she's a lot better at blocking it out now than she was at first."

"Do you mean all those times I've been sneaking back to my dorm in the sunlight and seen Rose running on the track she knew we were having sex?"

"I don't know! Look she trains a lot, so some of it might be coincidence…"

I snorted to myself. Yeah – because anyone doing two training sessions a day, as well as three combat classes wants to get up for a little run at 1 pm to clear their head. _Not._

"Well, can't you tell when she's in there? Or force her out?"

"No I _can't_ tell, and I understand it's creepy. I hate it," she said with surprising vehemence. "It's awful thinking I have absolutely no privacy."

I was starting to get mad myself now. As usual, it was all about _Lissa's_ feelings. How about how gross I felt when I was hauled into someone else's sex session when I was trying to sleep? Or an argument when I was sitting in the library trying to work?

"Can she just go in there anytime she wants? Does she get bored and decide to visit you?"

"I don't think so… I don't _know_ , ok?"

"Well find out! I feel completely violated! I want to know just how much your freaky friend is spying on us!"

I pulled myself out of her head then, not wanting to hear any more. After what Christian and his delusional Aunt had done to me, he had _no_ right to feel violated. I gathered my books in a huff, earning myself an irritated glance from the librarian. I was in Lissa's head longer than I thought – I'd have to move it if I wanted to get to my sixth period precalculus class on time. I made it _just_ in time ahead of the bell.

Afternoon classes were infinitely more painful than my morning ones, for the sole reason that they were shared with Moroi. Precalculus, though, was by far the worst because not only did the content suck it was one of two classes I had with Ralf Sarcozy in it. Unlike most Moroi, Ralf was stocky and, well there was no avoiding it, fat. In fact, he barely looked like a Moroi at all. With a large mouth and not much intellect to back it up, Ralf was at the lower end of the Moroi social and genetic gene pool. And unfortunately, he seemed to have some morbid fascination with me.

"Hey, Hathaway? Why don't you come sit on my lap? I've heard you're always up for a bit of fun, and I'll show you how good a _real_ man can make you feel," he jeered.

I pretended to consider his offer.

"Hmm tempting, Ralf. But where is this real man you were talking about? Surely you weren't talking about _yourself_?!" I replied looking at him contemptuously.

"I'm man enough for you, babe," he sleazed.

The class was watching on in enjoyment, even the teacher. That's another thing I hated. Where the Guardian and Dhampir staff had been supportive and respectful, the same could not be said of all the Moroi teachers.

"Sorry Ralf, I have a few rules when it comes to men. I won't sleep with a man who can't bench press at least as much as I can, and I won't fuck a guy who'll look more pregnant than I will, even when I'm nine months along," I said, swatting his large belly as I walked past.

A couple of the Moroi tittered at my slap down, and Meredith put up her hand and said, "Hell yeah!" as I gave her a high-five and walked down the aisle and grabbed a seat next to Chelsea. The rest of the class passed without incident, and I was delighted to see I'd scored an A on a test we'd taken the week before. My extra studying was paying off!

I was dreading my next class. _Moroi Culture Four_. When we'd been brought back to campus, Lissa and I had been assigned three classes together; _Animal Behavior and Physiology, Moroi Culture Four_ and _Slavic Art_. When Natalie had killed Mr. Nagy, our _Slavic Art_ teacher, they'd pulled the subject, and we'd transferred into different electives. _Animal Behavior and Physiology_ had not been running today, hence my free period after lunch, but now it was time to go to _Moroi Culture Four_ where I'd be seeing Lissa and Christian.

I picked up my bag and walked beside Meredith. Ever observant, Meredith picked up on my disquiet.

"You ok, Rose?"

"Yeah. Just this whole thing with Lissa is upsetting me, you know?"

None of my friends had spoken to me directly about my falling out with Lissa. They knew it involved Tasha telling the whole school I was pregnant, but no one had asked for specifics. "We've been best friends since we were four, but sometimes it astounds me how little she knows me," I said with a sigh.

"It's different for them, Rose," Meredith said in that considered way of hers. "They're raised to only ever think about themselves. Think about _our_ schooling. The first thing I learned to write was…"

" _They come first_ ," we intoned at the same time. She was right. Lissa was as much a victim of her upbringing as I was mine.

"I mean it says a lot we're headed to a _Moroi Culture_ class, doesn't it?" she continued. "I can't imagine them ever running a _Dhampir Culture_ class and making Moroi attend, can you?"

I sniggered, trying to imagine what such a course would entail. The guys continually being told it was their duty to train and die protecting Moroi and the girls that they needed to get knocked up and produce more Dhampir as quickly as possible. Tick to _that_ one, I thought rubbing my hand over my barely there baby belly. At least I had the satisfaction of knowing _my_ baby was the offspring of two Dhampir!

"Come on, let's get it over with," I grumbled.

If Christian's looks to me before were filled with loathing, the one he shot me today was worse. I ignored it, Meredith and me joining Eddie, Mason, and Chelsea in our seats at the back of the room. As usual, Mason and Eddie left the place between them free for me. It was a strangely protective gesture, and very sweet. We settled into our class, some boring lecture about political machinations between a Badica and an Ivashkov for ascension in the fifteenth century. I wanted to tune out and think about Dimitri. Or Junior. Hell – I'd prefer to think about just anything else! But I dutifully jotted down what the teacher was saying, even making notes in the margins about general trends in the political landscape at the time which contributed to the outcome – a Tarus taking the throne, starting a century of bad blood between the three families.

It was so faint I barely 'heard' it at first, but as it got louder in my mind, eventually it registered. _Rose? Rose?_

I looked up from my work in surprise. It was Lissa. She hadn't spoken to me through the bond in ages. Since well before our falling out, I realized. I looked up from my work and across the room to where she was watching me.

 _Can you take your next class off? I need to talk to you._

She didn't sound friendly exactly, but she wasn't being antagonistic, either. I thought about my next class. I was already well ahead, and my absence was likely to go unnoticed. I nodded once and returned my eyes to my work. I was severely tempted to go digging through her mind and find out what Lissa planned to say to me, but that _was_ an abuse of her privacy, so I left it. I didn't have to ask where to meet. We always talked in her dorm room. Come to think of it; I wasn't sure she even knew where my dorm room was. I took my time packing up my bag in a futile attempt to delay the inevitable.

"You coming to class, Hathaway?" Eddie asked.

"Nope. Gotta go pick something up from the Guidance Counselor," I lied. "I'll see you at dinner after training."

Lissa and Christian left with a group of royal Moroi. I gave her a five-minute head start before I walked through the commons and across to the Moroi dorms. The dorm matron was used to seeing me in and out of there, so barely looked up when I waved and started climbing the stairs two at a time. I got to the top of the stairs and saw Lissa's door was ajar. I was expected. Usually, I'd just enter, but I thought I'd better knock.

"Come in," Lissa said. She was sitting on the side of her bed demurely. She was in full 'princess' mode I noticed, mentally rolling my eyes.

"You called?" I said, keeping my voice impassive.

"Yes," she said, gesturing for me to sit on one of her chairs. "I wanted to speak with you about what happened with Christian earlier. When you repeated something private you'd seen through the bond." She was talking to me like I was a recalcitrant school child.

"What about it?" I asked, looking at her.

"Well he was embarrassed and humiliated," she said in exasperation. "He's paranoid that you're in my head every time we're together!"

"Christian was _humiliated_ that I made a reference to something only you, he and I would know about? How is that humiliating?"

"He's embarrassed because that was a private moment between he and I! He had no idea you were in my head at the time and nor did I!" she hissed.

"Well, it wasn't like I was there by choice," I growled.

"Weren't you?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

"Are you freaking kidding me? _No one_ wants to get sucked into that!"

"Then why did you stick around?" she asked almost crying. "That was something special and private between Christian and me – surely you would have known you had no place there?!"

"Believe me – I got out of there as soon as I could," I said with a shudder. "I have no interest in watching, hearing or thinking about that!"

"Then why raise it? Why hurt he and I like that?! What have we done to you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Lissa? Maybe telling the entire campus about my pregnancy?! How's that for starters?!"

"Well if you didn't want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn't have been a slut and got yourself knocked up in the first place!"

"A slut? A _slut_?! I have slept with _one_ man. A man I loved and who loved me. Unlike _some people,_ I wasn't opening my legs to some guy I could barely tolerate when I was fifteen," I snapped. It was a low blow, especially given I knew with hindsight how much she regretted losing her virginity to Aaron two years ago before we'd left campus.

"For someone who has no interest in my sex life, you seem to have thought an awful lot about it," she retorted furiously.

"Oh my God – do you _ever_ think of _anyone_ but yourself?" I shouted. "If you don't want me to know when you fuck, maybe try not having sex in the middle of the night when I'm asleep and have no choice but being sucked in! Being woken by someone else getting it on is revolting – and I don't appreciate having to go for a run or to the gym in the middle of my sleep just to block the two of you out!"

"What – so you want us to have sex on your timetable?" she snapped.

"No. I want you to think of _someone else_ other than yourself for a change! It's always about _you_ and what _you_ want, and me suffering the consequences! You want to go off your meds, even though you know it's _me_ who gets the worst of the side effects. But you don't bother talking to me about it - you just decide that's how it's going to be. You need to go on the run, and I make it happen, even though it nearly cost me my education and any chance of a future. You trash up Wade's room, yet it's me who's still paying the price for that two years on! You know I'm training six plus hours a day, trying to get back to where I need to be to graduate, plus managing my academic subjects and homework, but you and fire boy can't try and limit your horizontal activities to a waking hour, so more times than I want to think about, I've had to drag myself out for a run in the middle of the freaking day just to block you out!

"You called me selfish, but I can't think of _anyone_ more selfish than you. I'm pregnant now, for fuck's sake, but you just keep using your magic. _Christ_ knows what that could be doing to my baby, but you haven't given that a thought, have you? Like I am scared out of my skull trying to work out how I'm going to support this child and give it the life it deserves, but you've not had a single thought about what _I'm_ going through, have you? Because you don't care! It's _all about you!_ Even before this happened you knew I'd been unhappy for _months_ , but you didn't bother asking what was going on because you knew you might hear something you didn't like, and heaven forbid anyone asks you to give someone else a bit of support for a change!"

"I'm allowed to be happy, you know!" she screamed at me, any pretense at a civilized discussion long forgotten.

"But apparently I'm not," I screamed back. "I don't know why Dimitri and I put you first for so long! You're just not worth it!"

"Dimitri! When are you going to give up on this ludicrous fantasy that you and Guardian Belikov had anything together? You might have had a stupid schoolgirl crush, but you were _nothing_ to him. He's Tasha's! A guy like that wouldn't look twice at a slut like you!"

That's when I slapped her across the face.

"You said you knew nothing about me and you know what? You're _right!_ You have to pay attention to someone else to get to know them," I screamed before storming out of her room. And like an elastic band that has been stretched beyond its capability, I felt my lifetime loyalty to Lissa snap.


	31. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 8

Celeste came into the gym for our after-school training, surprised to see me already there punching the shit out of one of the mannequins.

"Stupid… stuck up… royal… bitch…" I was mumbling under my breath, punctuating each word with another jab at the padded figure in front of me.

"Feeling a little tense?" she joked, coming to stand beside me and do her warm-ups. The final class of the day had left not long before, so we had the gym to ourselves.

"Just a little," I muttered, before spilling my guts to her about my fight with Lissa.

"Well you can kind of see how it might take her some getting used to the idea of you and Dimitri," she said, playing devil's advocate. "The two of you did keep things on the down low…"

"I know. And no one other than Alberta saw us after that weekend away together," I admitted. "Although did I tell you about Meredith busting us together in the shower?"

Celeste looked up at me her eyes twinkling, "No!?"

I laughed and told her about our last shower together, Meredith correctly guessing why there were two towels and two sets of shoes outside our cubicle in the Novice's bathroom.

"She hasn't mentioned it since," I said with a little smirk.

Celeste chuckled. "Probably too embarrassed to bring it up."

"Yeah probably. I had my first counseling session today," I confided. "The woman is completely useless. She had all this information on adoption places. Seemed to think I was crazy when I said I'd be keeping my baby. But one good thing did come of it. I realized Guardian Schoenberg knows how to contact the Guardian in charge of Dimitri's mission, so I've asked Alberta to call Guardian Schoenberg to try and get a message to Dimitri to let him know about the baby," I told her apprehensively. "I'm not sure whether they'll be able to get a message to him – and if he'll believe me if they do. But he should know."

"What do you think might happen?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I'm _hoping_ they might bring him back," I said, realizing as I said it how unlikely that probably was. "But at the very least I hope they might let him ring me… This not knowing – it's killing me, Celeste."

She reached over hugged me.

"Then let's hope Schoenberg can get a message to him," she said with a smile.

"I just hope he believes me, and that he wants Junior," I said. "I mean – it's supposed to be an exciting time for a guy when he finds out he's going to be a father, right?"

Celeste laughed bitterly.

"Yeah it is," she said an ugly expression on her face. "I can still remember when I told my ex about Stella," she said, looking around to make sure we were still alone. "He was over the moon!"

My confused look must have said it all. If he was so happy, then why weren't they together or he at least a part of Stella's life?

She sighed.

"Stella's father Patrick and I went to school together. He's not royal, but he comes from one of the more prominent Moroi families. We dated throughout our senior year, but for the sake of appearances, we kept it quiet. I thought it was all horribly romantic, but in reality, it was so no one knew he was making out with a Dhampir," she said mirthlessly. "He was selfish, arrogant, egotistical and a jerk, but I didn't see it. I thought the sun shone out of his ass," she continued, sightlessly doing her reps lost in recollection.

"Going by my due date, Stell was probably conceived on our graduation night," she said, continuing her tale. "He'd spent most of the night dancing with his Moroi girlfriend. He'd promised me she was nothing to him – just a cover for his family. Halfway through our graduation dance he came and got me and said he'd prepared a surprise for me. He took me to a beautiful hotel room nearby. There were flowers everywhere and candles, and it was just gorgeous. He wouldn't even let me get under the covers on the bed – said he just couldn't wait. So we stripped off and did it on top of the bedspread. I didn't realize until afterward that he hadn't used a condom.

"He was so sweet afterward, telling me to rest and not get up. He cuddled me for fifteen minutes, and then he said we'd better get back to the dance. I got dressed, and he was busy straightening the bed and making it look like we'd never been there. And even then it didn't twig," she said, her voice overflowing with bitterness.

"I thought we'd go back to the hotel after the dance, but he disappeared, and I couldn't find him, so I went back to my dorm alone. He called the next day to apologize, making up some story about a drunk friend he'd had to help out. I was allocated to Court, and he would come by my room every few days, and we'd have sex. He told me he wanted us to be together. To have a family together. The whole shebang. So when he didn't want to use a condom I didn't make a big deal about it. Well, I'd been at Court a whole two weeks when I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't tell him until I was past twelve weeks. I think in my heart of hearts I knew he was a scumbag and I thought he might have wanted me to get rid of it," she continued.

"Well, when I told him I was expecting he was over the moon. But not for the reason I thought. It turns out his family is part of an ultra-conservative group of Moroi who are concerned with falling Guardian numbers. It was considered his duty to impregnate a Dhampir to help 'create more Guardians' before he'd be allowed to marry and start a Moroi family. The fancy hotel on graduation night hadn't been for me at all; he'd proposed to his Moroi girlfriend there after the dance that night. He was just waiting for me to get pregnant to absolve him of his responsibility to create more Dhampir so he could have his happily ever after."

I looked at Celeste absolutely aghast. If I could find this Patrick and rip his head off his shoulders with my bare hands, I'd do it without a second thought.

"Turns out he never wanted me. Just my uterus," she said, a hard edge to her voice. "He _did_ offer that if I wanted to have more babies once I'd had Stella he'd 'help me out' with that," she snorted. "Of course I turned him down, and once he knew I wasn't going to be his brood mare, he was out of there without a backward glance."

"Have you seen him since? Do you know what happened to him?" I asked, my mind reeling in horror but also thinking if she gave enough info away, I might track the asshole down and make sure he came to deeply regret what he'd done.

"I hear things from time to time," she said lightly. "He's married to his Moroi girlfriend. He has two kids. The boy is a year younger than Stella; their girl is probably four now."

"You must loathe him," I said, still shocked that anyone could be so callous to use a woman essentially as a breeder.

Celeste turned to look at me.

"Rose, hating him has become my religion," she said with an intensity that was frightening. "I don't know how and I don't know when, but one day I am going to make sure he pays. Not just for using me, but for what it's meant for Stella. She deserved to have a chance to know me as her mother, and I deserved the opportunity to _be_ that mother to her."

I nodded. I wanted to reach out and hug her, but I could sense telling me this had been tough for Celeste and she needed a moment to pull herself back together.

"And you've not been with anyone serious since?"

"No. I've been with a few guys, but I just can't bring myself to go there emotionally," she admitted. "Although… if Guardian Schoenberg were to show an interest I wouldn't say no," she admitted with a cheeky grin.

"Eww, Celeste! He's like fifty or something!"

"Yeah, but you've seen him fight. The guy is _hot_ ," she said with a giggle. "And I like the salt and pepper hair... it's sexy! I bet he'd be amazing in bed!"

"Well there is a lot to bed said for the stamina of an experienced Guardian," I mused almost to myself.

Celeste looked at me, and the two of us laughed heartily. Even with everything going wrong at the moment, and the horrible history she'd just shared with me, it was nice to enjoy a light-hearted moment together.

We showered and went to dinner, Celeste joining us at our table for a change. Usually, she sat with the other Guardians, but there was only Emil there just now, and a stone was probably a better conversationalist than he. Plonking down next to me with a large tray of food, Celeste was friendly and personable with the other Novices, but there was still that slight professional distance between them.

Mason was particularly witty, causing all of us to erupt numerous times in laughter thanks to his amusing banter. It was only halfway through dinner that I appreciated he was showing off for Celeste's benefit. I gave her a look that she returned, and I realized she knew it, too. The two of us smirked, but it wasn't until I asked her whether she'd like ketchup or if she'd prefer salt and pepper that the two of us really lost it. I had my head on the table tears running down my face I was laughing so hard, and Celeste was no better.

I reached over and gave her back a pat. It was so nice to have a friend to laugh and joke around with. Because while Celeste might be an associate to the other Novices, she was undoubtedly a friend now to me. It had been a long time since Lissa and I had shared that easy camaraderie. It was my fault every bit as much as it was hers – I'd become so accustomed to putting her needs first that both of us had started to forget I even had needs outside of my responsibilities to her.

We were just settling down when I felt a jealous pang through the bond, followed by a vengeful feeling. I hadn't even realized Lissa was sitting at the Royal Moroi table with Christian and had been watching the hilarity at our table. She was jealous of the easy friendship between Celeste and me but also thought I was exaggerating my mirth to annoy her. While her feelings before that had mostly been regretful about our argument earlier, seeing me with what she considered a replacement female friend made her angry. Noticing me watching, she hastily tried to pull up her mental barricades, shooting me a disdainful look before turning away.

* * *

The rest of the week dragged. Alberta had pulled me aside after breakfast on Wednesday to tell me she'd spoken with Guardian Schoenberg and that he'd agreed to make inquiries about Dimitri's whereabouts. She explained he didn't think it appropriate he be the one to tell Dimitri about Junior, but if there was any way to get him to a phone he was going to arrange it so we could talk and I could tell him myself.

And then I was panicking about how to do that. _'Hey, Comrade – you know how Dhampirs can't reproduce together? Well, funny story about that…'_ just didn't seem to be the right way to go about things, and I was worried he wouldn't believe me and would hang up before I had a chance to explain in full. Maybe if I started by getting him to promise not to hang up? Dimitri was a man of his word and wouldn't break it, but if I started that way he'd immediately be on the defensive, which wouldn't be good. I kicked it around in my mind, even writing a long, detailed email to my Russian God about my concerns and thoughts on different approaches.

But as well as being apprehensive, I was excited! Being able to talk to my man – to hear his voice again. To tell him I loved him now even more than ever. I didn't want to be caught off guard like last time, so I made a list of things to discuss with him, carrying it around in my pocket at all times, because there was no knowing when a call might come.

I was sitting in _Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection_ in the second period Friday morning when the campus-wide PA crackled into life.

"Novice Rose Hathaway please report to Alberta's office without delay."

My head snapped up, and I checked my pocket for my list. It didn't even occur to me to stow my books or grab my bag – I was out the door and sprinting to Alberta's office before Stan had even turned to face the class and give me leave to depart. I was breathless when I reached Alberta's room in the Guardian building. I'd taken her at her word when she'd said 'without delay' as I was conscious that if Dimitri was on the telephone every second I took getting there was one less second I had to speak with him.

The door was shut, and I knocked on it impatiently, entering as soon as I heard Alberta say "Come."

Inside the office were Alberta and Guardian Schoenberg. I hadn't expected him to be here, but thinking about it, it made sense he make the call to Dimitri so no one else would know the number. I gave him a huge smile filled with gratitude and hope.

"I came as fast as I could," I gasped, a little winded. I know it wasn't that I was unfit, it was my body needing more oxygen for Junior, but I still felt embarrassed that my fitness wasn't what it once was.

"Rose, please take a seat," Alberta said formally. "You remember Guardian Schoenberg."

"Yes of course. Thank you so much for coming," I said politely, cognizant that it was only due to his goodwill that I had any shot at getting to speak to the man I loved.

Alberta looked to Guardian Schoenberg who took a seat beside me. Unlike last time, today he was in his dress uniform. Looking at him with fresh eyes, I could kind of see why he appealed to Celeste. He _was_ somewhat sexy in an older man sort of way. I mean, he didn't do it for me – but I could see the appeal of such a fit, handsome, powerful older man.

I was surprised when he reached out and grabbed my hands, taking both of them within his own. I looked up at him in confusion, when the look on his face stopped my heart.

"Rose? I spoke to Alberta on Wednesday morning, and she told me about your need to get an urgent message to Guardian Belikov, so I started to make inquiries. It took me some time, but yesterday I was able to contact the Guardian in charge of the mission. The delay was because they'd been in the air – they've pulled out, and the mission is over."

My faltering heart restarted again. Dimitri was on his way back?

Tears were pouring down my face as I looked up to Schoenberg's face.

"Does that mean Dimitri is coming home?"

There was a long silence before Schoenberg said, "Rose, I'm afraid not. Two weeks ago on Friday the 10th February Dimitri's cell was attacked. The bodies of four Guardians were discovered; Dimitri and another Guardian were missing. All of their belongings had been taken other than their stakes."

His eyes flicked to a wooden box sitting in the middle of Alberta's table. Now I gave it my attention I knew what it was. It was the box stakes were housed in. But it wasn't until I looked up and saw Alberta was weeping that I understood what was coming next.

"There was no sign of Dimitri's blood at the scene, but it's the same modus operandi as several other cells which were attacked. It appears the Strigoi killed the Guardians they didn't want and captured the others. We believe that Guardian Belikov and the other Guardians taken have almost certainly been turned."

A horrified moan escaped my lips. Not that. Even _death_ was better than that. I closed my eyes, unhappy noises escaping my lips as my mind flipped back to lying in Dimitri's arms in the motel. When I'd asked him, he'd said he wasn't scared of death, but he was scared of being turned. That more than anything, he didn't want that.

"No, no, no, no, no," I was groaning, barely aware of Alberta coming around from behind her desk and wrapping her arms around me as I sat on the chair. "Tell me it isn't true!" I implored, turning to face her.

"Oh Rose, I'm so very sorry," she whispered. "He was such a wonderful man, and I know how deeply you cared for him."

I was crying so hard I was having trouble catching my breath. We sat there the three of us for perhaps twenty minutes, me crying inconsolably. I heard Schoenberg quietly suggest "Maybe a mild sedative?" and Alberta replying, "Not with the baby, I'm afraid."

Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm myself.

"Where was he?"

"He was in Russia," Schoenberg said. "I can't tell you exactly where, but it was a large Russian city."

"He would have liked that," I said softly. "He missed home so much. Have his family been told?"

"Yes. We rang them just before we called for you. He and the other missing Guardians will be declared missing in action for the next six months, after which time he will be officially classified as deceased."

I nodded, hearing the words and slowly deciphering their meaning. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

"I have his will here, Rose, but I believe you're already aware of the contents of that? We can go through and discuss all the practical considerations when you're feeling up to it. In the meantime, I have something for you. As you will recall, I met with Dimitri the morning before he was deployed. During our meeting, he gave me something for you. A letter. He asked me to give it to you should he not make it home."

She reached across to her desk, sliding an envelope out from underneath the wooden box. It was a small envelope printed with the name and address of the motel we'd stayed at on the front of it, along with 'Roza' in his elegant script. Turning it over, I could see it was still sealed.

"I also have his stakes for you. They were transported home by a colleague, and as someone very special to him, you should have them."

She passed me the box, and I held it along with the letter.

"Is there anyone you'd like me to call?"

"Celeste?" I whispered.

Alberta's face fell. "She's off-campus until tomorrow. She went on a field trip with the junior classes."

Yes, of course. It was the extra shift she'd owed Alberta. The little kids were doing an overnight camp and learning outdoor skills.

"What about Mason or Eddie?" she suggested, aware that things weren't great between Lissa and me at the moment.

I shrugged.

"Could you maybe send them to my room in half an hour? I want to read my letter first."

"Of course. Would you like me to walk you to your room?" she asked kindly. I could see it was hurting her to see me so distressed.

"No. I just want to be alone," I whispered. I stood and looked to where Guardian Schoenberg still sat in the chair beside mine. "Thank you so much for coming to tell me in person. I appreciate your kindness," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'm so very sorry, Rose. He was a good man and an excellent Guardian."

"Thank you," I whispered, giving Alberta a final nod before I opened the door and left her office.

I walked across the commons, barely registering that it was the end of the second period and students were crisscrossing in all directions getting to their next classes. I walked like a zombie, tears trickling down my cheeks. I think someone called out to try and stop me, but I didn't halt. I walked almost in a trance towards the Novice dorms.

Once I'd reached the quietness of my room, I stripped naked, putting on one of Dimitri's shirts I'd taken to sleep in. Even though I knew he was gone. and I'd never see him again, the soft cotton that used to rub against his skin resting against mine was somehow soothing. I put my phone in the dock, switching it to the 'Roza' playlist. Then I turned out the lights and switched on my lamp, climbing into bed and very carefully opening my letter.

I was on my side, silently staring at my photos of Dimitri half an hour later when the door opened. The dorm matron was there letting Mason and Eddie into my room.

"Thank God, Rose! We were knocking and shouting, and you didn't answer," Mason said in relief.

"I didn't hear you," I said honestly. All my attention had been on looking at my photos of Dimitri. The man I'd loved but lost.

"Alberta told us," Mason continued, closing the door behind them and coming to sit beside me on the bed and hugging me. "I'm so very sorry."

I shrugged, my tears starting again. Mason turned around to look at Eddie who'd said nothing so far. He was looking at my wall of photos of Dimitri and I. Dragging his eyes away, I saw him notice the pile of Dimitri's washing I'd never been able to bring myself to return to his room, finally resting on me where I sat in bed wearing Dimitri's shirt.

"He really _is_ the father of your baby, isn't he? You and he were in love?" he asked softly.

I nodded.

"I loved him Eddie. I still do. But he's gone!" I wailed, burying my face against Mason's chest as he pulled me into another hug.


	32. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 9

Every day was torture, but the worst thing was that every time I woke it was to a fresh horror. It was as though this manor housed innumerable practices bound to shock and revolt, and there was an inexorable march to parade each perversion in front of my reluctant eyes. And it was impossible to anesthetize yourself against it.

In the first few days, it was the shock of seeing the occasional person I knew from before walking around with red-rimmed eyes. Guardians from the mission, Dhampir I'd trained with at St. Basil's. Even an old royal Moroi chum of Ivan's. I hadn't heard he'd been turned. Despite being surrounded by numerous Strigoi, I didn't have any immediate fears for my safety. Galina had made it very clear I was not to be touched, and no one dared risk her wrath. But it was nonetheless disturbing to see people I'd previously known in life now as eerily familiar soulless monsters.

I'd successfully avoided the Guardian dorms since I'd been called away from them. There was nothing I could do to help the men there, so I intentionally spared myself the punishment of bearing witness to their torturous decision.

Thanks to my suggestion about army accommodations for the meeting, Galina had temporarily halted recruitment, so the same dorms now stood empty. I was wandering around in that part of the manor getting an idea of the building's layout to inform my loosely constructed escape plan when a large leather book caught my eye. Sitting on a desk in the broad hallway between the locked Moroi and Guardian dorms, a quick flick showed it contained long lists of Dhampir, Moroi and human names with a simple 'A' or 'D' annotated in the margin. After a moment I inferred that this was the list of those recruited; the 'A' stood for awakened and the 'D' for deceased. Towards the end of the long list, I saw Yaroslav's name with a neat 'D' beside it. I was relieved for him, although I didn't pause to ponder the manner of his death.

The most gruesome of the many execrable things I'd seen here was the Strigoi 'meals' area. Those who chose to not to be awakened were used to sustain the army. While many Strigoi were happy to quickly feed and drain their victims with a minimum of fuss, more than a few of the undead liked to terrorize their prey first, claiming the blood tasted better when the one who'd produced it was petrified. I'd honestly been traumatized the first time I'd passed the feeding rooms and seen such large-scale massacre, so now for my mental health, I made a point of avoiding that part of the manor altogether when feedings were scheduled. It was truly the stuff of nightmares, and I knew were I to survive this place I would spend many nights trying to purge what I'd seen from my mind.

Looking through the long list of names in the journal, I was interested to note that almost ninety percent of those listed were Guardians, yet probably only thirty percent of them had chosen to be awakened. Looking back at the dates, the recruitment had been going on for longer than I'd initially appreciated. Several years at least, should the first entry be believed. Much longer than the reports from Court had suggested. Every indication from there had been that this was a more recent problem; something arising in the last six to twelve months. Not for the first time I wondered how the Royal and Guardian Councils had got it so wrong. How had Galina managed to amass all this virtually unobserved?

"Plotting something, Belikov? Careful, Galina wouldn't like that," Nathan's voice sneered. He'd crept up behind me soundlessly. The hair bristled on the back of my neck, but I gave no indication of the disquiet his presence caused me.

"Just wondering who I might know at the meeting," I said urbanely. "Is this the full list?"

"None of your business," Nathan snapped looking at me with undisguised dislike. "You know, Galina might trust you, but I don't."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. Galina doesn't trust me. She doesn't trust _anyone_. And that's what's made her such a force to be reckoned with."

Nathan was dangerous. Not just by way of being Strigoi, but because he was power hungry. Attuned to every nuance in the ever-changing quicksand of authority and influence in this place, my initial standing and subsequent rise in Galina's esteem had not escaped his attention. But he also knew any move against me, no matter how slight, would bring about consequences that would be both immediate and severe.

Of course, unbeknownst to him, he had good reason to have misgivings about me. At my suggestion, his informal conversations with Marko were now being monitored, and he was indeed attempting to mastermind a coup. Although he was smart enough not to let Marko in on the full plan, what Nathan had been overheard saying was already seditious enough to convince Galina he had to be disposed of. The only thing preventing her from tearing his head from his shoulders and parading it around displayed on a spike was her desire to discover who else was embroiled in his plot. Sitting at opposite ends of the sofa in her sitting room, we'd talked about it at length last night. Galina had had her feet resting on me, and at her behest, I'd been massaging them.

"If I kill him now, that will scare the others into submission," she'd mused taking a sip of red wine, although I knew her well enough to know she was merely positing it as an option.

"Yes. But the seeds of discontent have already been sown. Small weeds are easier to pull than large ones," I'd countered. She'd nodded. We both knew I was right.

"So Guardian Saunders has pulled out of Novosibirsk, taking what's left of his elite force with him," she announced, watching me carefully from underneath her lashes. I'd been expecting it, but still, my heart lurched. "I guess they're declaring their little mission over," she smiled triumphantly.

"I guess so," I mumbled, wondering how long it would take them to tell my family and Roza that I was missing presumed turned. I didn't let my mind dwell too long on that. I couldn't. If I wanted to have any chance of seeing those I loved again, I needed to keep my eye on the prize.

"Do you wish you'd been withdrawn with them?" she asked curiously.

I could lie and say no, but she'd know it wasn't the truth and more than anything I needed her to trust me – to continue allowing me the freedom I had within the manor so I could enact my plan.

"With everything I am," I said with a sigh, thinking how close those words were to the declaration of love I'd made to my Roza. "But that's not the way it's worked out," I said in resignation.

"Well, I hope your current situation is not without its compensations?" she asked, giving me a loaded look before rubbing her foot on my inner thigh.

I took a large glug of wine, then closing my eyes I reconstructed Roza's beautiful face in my mind in order that my own face might resemble something that I hoped could be interpreted as pleasure. Then I nodded, letting my mind wander back to my plan. The pieces were slowly falling into place now. I'd only get one shot at it, and there were so many variables I needed to line up to make it happen. But I was making steady progress. It had to work - because I had to get out of here.

* * *

Mason was holding me silently, but I could see his eyes slowly traversing the wall beside my bed, taking in photo after photo of Dimitri and I. Pictures that were little hints to what had transpired between us.

"It looks like he loved you, too," Eddie acknowledged, looking at the photos of a smiling Dimitri kissing me and gazing at me with adoration.

I nodded, my eyes flicking down to the folded letter that lay beside me on the bed. I'd read and re-read it, careful not to mark its surface with my tears. It was a very personal missive, and I'd never show it to another, although I don't suppose that really mattered now its author was gone.

 _My darling Roza,  
I am watching you sleep as I write this, and as soon as I am done, I will come back to bed to be beside you. It's our last night in Missoula together, and I don't want you out of my embrace for any longer than you have to be._

 _Milaya, how can I convey how much I love you in a simple letter? Words alone do not seem adequate to describe the feelings you tease out of my guarded heart. Yet it appears they must suffice, because if you're reading this, then it means that I am gone._

 _Our love was never planned, and while we did our best to fight it, I now realize it would have been easier to stop the tides than to prevent your love finding mine. To say it was destiny seems so clichéd, yet I can think of no better word to describe how in every conceivable way it seems we were meant to be together.  
_

 _My Roza – so fearless, yet also so vulnerable. How could I not fall in love with you? Everything about you drew me in until offering you the loving sanctuary of my heart and receiving the tender balm of your devoted affection was inevitable. These last few days with you have given me a joy I never knew possible. Like the delicate breath of Spring after a long Winter, your love has brought every part of me to life, and I will be eternally grateful that we had this time together, no matter how short._

 _While I am no expert on love, beyond knowing I have certainly found it with you, something I do know about is grief – so I beg you to grieve me and then move on with your life. Nothing could pain me more than thinking of you bottling yourself up like I did after I lost Ivan. I now know a life without love is no life at all, and more than anything I want a long, full and happy life for you. Please don't let my memory hold you back from finding love again with someone else when the time is right._

 _And my darling, please don't think back on me with tears. Remember me with happiness and recall the joy we shared, knowing that while you remember me fondly, I'll never truly be gone. I will be in the breeze that ripples through your hair when you run your laps. I'll be the first few rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon to greet you every morning, and I'll be the snowflake that gently kisses your skin with the first snowfall of the season. No matter where you go, I will always be with you, and you will never want for my love._

 _Eternally, your loving Comrade,  
Dimitri_

"How long?" Mason asked, pulling me from my thoughts about Dimitri's final words to me.

"Since almost the beginning, but it was gradual. By the time we realized it, we were already crazy about each other. We tried to ignore it; we really did, but it wouldn't go away. We didn't let ourselves act on it until the very end. When he got the news he had been reallocated, it didn't matter anymore. He was no longer my mentor and wasn't going to be Lissa's Guardian, so we went to Missoula and spent the last five days before he left together. It was a magical time," I explained. "Somehow we managed to squeeze so much into the little bit of time we had."

"And that's when you fell pregnant," Mason concluded, it all now coming together in his mind. He was sitting resting against the metal bed head, and I was curled up beside him with my head on his chest while he gently rubbed my back. Eddie was sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Yep. I still don't know how the supposedly impossible happened, but I've never been with anyone else, so I know it's his. I got to speak to him on the day of my Qualifier after I killed the Strigoi, but that was a few days before I found out about the baby, so he never knew he was going to be a Daddy."

* * *

It was Sunday morning, and I was getting ready to leave my room for the first time. Mason and Eddie had been fabulous not telling anyone about Dimitri, instead spreading the word I was upset about a falling out with my mother. It was partially true, Janine had disowned me after all, but it was a convenient cover to explain my erratic behavior in the commons on Friday. I knew the word would eventually get out – on one of her many visits Alberta had already gently raised the idea of a memorial - but for now, only the staff on campus knew.

I picked up my cell phone and was going to check it for messages before I remembered - some time since our argument on Tuesday Lissa had had it disconnected. When we were on the run, she'd taken out a cell plan for each of us. When we'd returned to St Vladimir's, she'd never had it disconnected. At least not until now. Not that I'd used it a great deal. Almost exclusively to text her, truth be told. I returned my phone to the speaker dock. It still had my music on there, so I guess it was a glorified iPod, now.

Celeste helped me pick some clothes for Church. They'd moved a fold out bed in as soon as she'd got back to campus on Saturday and she'd been staying in my room with me ever since. It was squishy – my broom closet dorm room was barely big enough for one person let alone two – but she was making the best of it. She'd been trying to coax me out of my room since she'd arrived, but I refused to leave, so we'd been relying on Eddie, Mason, and Alberta to transport meals to us. Not that I particularly wanted to eat. It was only the knowledge I had Dimitri's precious child within me that made me open my mouth and fill it with food three times a day.

"Come on Rose, let's get you into the shower," Celeste cajoled, leading me across to the bathroom. I hadn't showered since Friday morning, and I really needed to. Knowing I was still sensitive about anyone else seeing me naked, she locked the door from the inside, and the two of us undressed heading into separate cubicles. I always used the one on the right - the one I'd showered in with Dimitri. A small moan escaped my lips as I thought about him. It was still impossible for me to believe that he was gone. I'd heard people say 'life goes on' yet it seemed unfathomable to me that it could.

I'd never felt the calling to go to Church before, but if ever a word was needed with the dude upstairs then it was now. I tried to slip on my favorite jeans, but there was no escaping the conclusion that they were too snug around the top. I could barely do them up, and there'd be no sitting down in them, so I peeled them off and chose a roomier pair of tailored black pants. I teamed them with a black sweater and a pair of dark sunglasses. Everyone would know I'd been crying, but honestly, there'd been so much gossip about me over the last few weeks, I think people were almost at critical saturation and probably wouldn't bother speculating any further. I was seventeen, pregnant and the entire school knew I wasn't on speaking terms with my closest friend. The one I'd had since I was four years old. I had a lot to cry about!

Celeste shadowed me, walking into the Church as I did. The spot in the row where Dimitri used to sit was occupied by some pre-pubescent boys from the junior school, but two words from Celeste sent them scurrying, and I seated myself in his old spot, Celeste beside me. I closed my eyes and held her hand, listening to the rise and fall of Father Andrews' voice as he started his sermon.

I could sense Lissa was somewhere in the crowd. Probably in her usual seat in the Royal Moroi pews near the front; I didn't bother opening my eyes to check. I had to suppress an indignant snort as it occurred to me; it appears that even when it came to _God_ , there was a pecking order.

It was another sermon on Father Andrews' favorite topic; St Vladimir and his shadow-kissed Anna. Today of all days, when I wanted to hear something on transcendence or eternal life, all he had to talk about was the precious bond between Vladimir and Anna. He was probably halfway through the sermon when he said something about the joy Anna took in the sacrifices she made for her Moroi Vladimir.

"That's bullshit!"

It was louder than I'd intended. Truth be told, I hadn't planned to say it out loud at all. But I had, and if the gasps and titters from the congregation were anything to go by at least a few people had heard me. Father Andrews looked up from the pulpit. He'd heard me speak, but it was obvious he hadn't heard precisely what I'd said.

"My dear?" he asked, peering myopically out into the crowd in my direction.

"Nothing," I muttered, standing up and walking out of the Church, Celeste a few steps behind me. Whatever I was searching for, it's clear I wouldn't be finding it in the Church or religion today.


	33. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 10

The last two weeks had been the worst of my life. Every time I closed my eyes, it was with the fervent hope that I'd wake to find this whole thing had been a nightmare and that in reality, I was running my customary five minutes late to morning training with my Russian God. But I'd wake, and the reality was the same. I was here. And Dimitri wasn't.

After my sacrilegious comments in Church on Sunday, Alberta had decided I was not yet well enough to return to classes, so on Monday I'd been taken down to spend the day under the keen observation of Dr. Olendzki and staff. Dr. Olendzki had wanted to do some tests to try and get to the bottom of how two Dhampir had managed to conceive, so I sat there being prodded and poked all day. She explained she'd be sending samples to a lab under a fictitious name, requesting a DNA workup to see whether there were any anomalies.

After a day in the infirmary, I decided I needed to return to classes – if not for my grades then for my sanity. I spoke with Alberta, and she reluctantly agreed. She stipulated that an announcement needed to be made about Dimitri, but I knew it would stir up speculation once again, so after some pleading, she agreed to hold off until the end of the week. We decided that if Kirova made an announcement on Friday just before the end of classes, by Monday, the initial gossip should have abated. Alberta also told me Guardian Schoenberg was due back on campus that weekend and would be staying for the week assessing me for my combat training.

"Although he's semi-retired he's still head of the Examination Board, so he can approve any modification or pass you entirely at his discretion. I know you'll be fifteen weeks this weekend, and you're allowed to train until you're twenty, but all your instructors say you're ready and it's only going to get harder the further into your pregnancy we leave it. I also thought if Guardian Schoenberg were here assessing you, it would protect you from the worst of the gossip in the week after we make the announcement about Dimitri," she explained kindly. She was right. Guardian Schoenberg was respected and feared, and not only amongst the Dhampir community. It would be a rare Moroi indeed who'd risk provoking his displeasure.

So I limped through four days of classes, not saying a word unless spoken to, until Friday afternoon when I ditched my final lesson for the week, Mason, Eddie, and Celeste joining me in my dorm room. At 3.15 am exactly, the campus PA crackled into life, Kirova's voice making the sad announcement that Guardian Dimitri Belikov, one of the school's former Guardians, had been sent on a mission and was missing believed turned.

As she spoke I sat on my bed, eyes closed, playing with the stakes they'd sent back to me. It was a poor exchange. I'd sent them the man I loved, and all they'd returned to me were two lengths of polished silver. I ran my thumb over where his name was etched near the hilt. I wished he'd not had them engraved because then I'd be able to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was still alive. But there's no way Dimitri would ever relinquish his stakes willingly, so it was further proof that yes, he was gone.

Guardian Schoenberg arrived early on the Saturday, and Celeste and I spent almost the entire weekend in the gym with him, leaving only to visit the cafeteria and sleep. Alberta had been right about one thing – not a single student, Novice or Moroi, dared approach while I sat silently eating at the table opposite Celeste, Schoenberg and occasionally other Guardians listening to them converse.

Even in my depressed state, I would have had to have been blind not to notice the difference in Celeste. Like me, she usually chose comfort over style when it came to working out, but over the weekend she was wearing her nicest gym gear and even a little bit of waterproof makeup to our sessions. Being the start of March, the weather was still a little chilly, but that didn't stop Celeste wearing her tiniest shorts and a crop top to spar with me on Sunday. With her toned Guardian body, she looked hot, and I wondered whether Guardian Schoenberg had any idea she was dressing in next to nothing for his benefit. After one particularly full on tussle, I thought I caught him looking at her admiringly, but it was hard to know whether he was admiring her technique or whether he was instead paying attention to the way her full breasts were jiggling in the tiny crop top as she panted for breath after our fight.

The following week we settled into a pattern. Up early to train with Celeste, Guardian Schoenberg joining us. At first, he silently completed his workout while watching us do likewise, but by the middle of the week he was telling me about various advanced techniques, he and Celeste demonstrating them together for me. I could tell Celeste relished the opportunity to work so closely with the Godlike Schoenberg, so I'd occasionally ask for clarification on a technique so that he'd fight with her to demonstrate it.

After training we'd go to breakfast and then to morning classes where Schoenberg would watch me work with Celeste, or the Guardians in charge of my practical classes, ticking off required maneuvers from a long list on his clipboard. Eddie nearly peed himself when Schoenberg called him over during one lesson so he could assess me working with a taller opponent. At six foot three Eddie was one of the tallest Novices.

"Not that I suppose you'd have any trouble working with a lofty opponent," Schoenberg had acknowledged sadly, referring to my Russian God's freakishly tall six foot seven stance.

By the end of the week, I was exhausted, and even Celeste was looking a little weary. I'd completed the full range of assessments that were usually assessed over two months in just one week. At the end of _Weight Training and Conditioning_ on Friday, Schoenberg called for a moment's silence as he announced to the class that I had passed all the combat tests required for graduation as a Guardian. I still had my Guardian theory and academic exams, but the difficult combat section had been ticked off.

"How come she doesn't have to do the field test or her trials? It's not fair," Blake grumbled under his breath resentfully.

"What's your name?" Guardian Schoenberg barked at him.

"Blake Aylett, sir," Blake answered with a gulp.

"Well, Novice Aylett, Novice Hathaway has been excused from the field test and trials on the basis of already having surpassed those requirements. She kept the Dragomir Princess safe for two years in a real-world setting, and I _personally_ witnessed her kill three Strigoi when we fought side-by-side before Christmas. These both more than satisfy the requirements for graduation."

That caused titters amongst the class. While it had come to be accepted I had three molnija, the particulars were not well known; so only a few people knew I'd earned my ink fighting alongside Guardian Schoenberg. The class dismissed, Celeste and I hit the showers. Meredith, Chelsea, and Angela coming over to congratulate me. I'd barely spoken to them since I'd heard the news about Dimitri, but it hadn't been personal. I'd barely said a word to anyone.

At lunch, I sat with Alberta, Celeste, and Guardian Schoenberg.

"So have you made any plans for the future?" Schoenberg asked kindly. I could see he was concerned for me.

"Not really. I'm working with the Guidance Counselor, and we're trying to find me a job somewhere near Court… I'm hoping once the baby is a year or so old, I'll be able to get an allocation there."

"Then list me as a referee. I'd be very happy to speak for you, whether it's a Guardian position or otherwise."

It was a kind gesture, and I appreciated it. Schoenberg's reputation was golden, so his name might well help tip things in my favor; and let's face it, I could use every bit of help I could get.

* * *

The last two weeks had been the hardest of my life. For the past fortnight, I'd worked on my plan. I had free rein of the manor but was not unaware that my movements were still at least partially monitored and reported to Galina. Consequently, I'd adopted a routine that incorporated all of the places that I needed to go, so over time what I was doing became less scrutinized. More often than not I wasn't even accompanied anymore.

I'd start my day by making Galina's breakfast. She'd been getting more and more blunt in her suggestions that I share her bed, if not all the time at least when she required it, and last night she'd asked straight out whether I intended to have sex with her.

She'd asked just after she'd fed from me, something she now did every third or fourth day, and I was so euphoric from her venom I would have agreed to just about anything. In fact, I'd almost told her yes when my beautiful Rose's face flashed through my mind, and I remembered my plan – and why I was so desperate to escape. So I'd clung to Rose's image in my foggy brain, telling Galina that I was hoping to save being with her sexually for the day I was turned - to make it an intimate celebration of my awakening. She'd threatened to awaken me then and there so she could have what she wanted.

"It's only a week to go now," I murmured languidly. "It won't be as good when you expose Nathan if he doesn't see me awakened and stepping up to be your second _and_ your lover," I'd reminded her.

She'd grumbled but agreed – her sense of showmanship overcoming her desires. Well at least for _me_.

"Take Belikov to his room and go find Semyon," she'd ordered one of her minions. "Tell him I require his services for the evening."

Galina was unused to being denied anything, so I had to redouble my efforts to make sure she believed I still intended to be turned. Especially since this week I needed to organize the awakening payment to my family. While it was not my goal to be turned, if the worst happened I wanted my family to be able to live comfortably.

With the Moroi and Guardian dorms now vacant, no one needed feeding, so the kitchens were almost always empty; something that suited me well. No one batted an eyelash as I wandered down to cook for myself and Galina every morning after waking. As Strigoi, Galina didn't strictly need to eat food, able to be wholly sustained by blood, but she particularly enjoyed red wine and sweets. Conscious of the need to appease her, I made her a breakfast of crepes with cherries marinated in port and a dark chocolate sauce. It was a lot of effort for what amounted to only a few mouthfuls of food, but as I was stewing the cherries, I made my own breakfast. Walking past the old cooker and door to the old coal shoot, I went through to the still well-provisioned larder grabbing the ingredients for an omelet for myself. Cooking and eating in the industrial kitchen I then quickly made Galina's crepes and went upstairs to her private chamber.

Knocking twice, I entered to find Galina still busy with Semyon. She lay naked propped up on a mountain of pillows, Semyon's head between her legs pleasuring her. She had one hand idly playing with his hair, the other tweaking her breasts.

"Dimitri!" she chirped happily, seeing me enter the room with her meal. "What have you brought for me?" she cooed. "Keep going!" she ordered Semyon when he looked up for a moment, pushing his head back down into her crotch.

"I thought you might want a sweet treat this morning, so I've cooked you crepes with marinated cherries, dark chocolate sauce, and cream."

"Hmm. Good enough to eat," she moaned. "Just like you! Come feed me," she instructed, taking her hand away from her breasts to pat the bed beside her.

I put the tray on her bedside, sitting beside her where she'd indicated. Lifting the plate from the tray, I loaded the spoon with a scoop, guiding it past her eager lips. She took the spoon into her mouth, closing her lips around it before fellating it suggestively.

"Hmm you're both such _good_ boys," she moaned, twining her fingers in Semyon's hair as I served her a second scoop of her breakfast. "You both know exactly what I like!"

Scoop by scoop I fed Galina her treat. Once the final mouthful was gone, she dropped her hand to my lap, rubbing me through my jeans. I could honestly say I wasn't in the _least_ aroused, but knowing I needed to be, I closed my eyes and imagined it was Rose's small hand rubbing me through the fabric. Right away my cock twitched, and I could feel the blood flowing to it, making me hard almost immediately. It had been so long since I'd been with my beautiful woman and I was aching for her.

"You like that don't you?" she asked, feeling my reaction.

Her voice threatened to kill the illusion, so I dipped two fingers into the remaining chocolate sauce on the plate, putting them in her mouth. She instantly started sucking on my digits as though it were my manhood, sliding her lips up and down past my knuckles down to the base, using her tongue to swirl around my thick fingers.

Her moans were getting more and more ecstatic. Letting my fingers fall from her lips she groaned, "I had no idea you were so _huge_!"

"Only a week until you get to feel me inside you," I promised, rubbing my hand on top of hers before lifting her hand off my dick. I picked up the tray and stood, exiting her chamber. As I turned to shut the double doors behind me, I saw Semyon climbing Galina's body, hoisting one of her legs over his shoulder as he sunk inside her. I'd give her another two or three hours before I came to talk to her about money. She was always happiest when she'd spent most of the night fucking.

* * *

The last two weeks had been the longest of my life. Telling Rose that the father of her child had been taken and by now was almost certainly dead, or Strigoi, was one of the most heartrending things I'd had to do in a career which had involved much loss, sadness, and heartache.

Closing my eyes, I could still see Rose's look of hope as she'd lurched into my office Friday two weeks ago, hoping to speak with her lover. That look turning from hope to desolation as Art delivered the worst news imaginable. The realization of all her worst fears.

I'd known Rose since she was four years old. I could still remember the day Janine dropped her off as though it were yesterday. Small for her age, Rose had been fearless and independent, even then. She'd stood holding my hand as her mother had crouched down saying her farewell. At the time, Janine's farewell had seemed oddly stilted and formal, but not being a mother myself I'd imagined she must have closed off her emotions so not to scare Rose. With the benefit of hindsight, I no longer thought that was the case. Even then, Janine had been a reluctant parent I now appreciated.

From the earliest days, Rose had been a handful. She had a temper and naughtiness to her, but she also had a good heart, an unerring sense of justice and was one of the most giving people I'd ever met. I'd seen her grow up with Vasilisa, their friendship forged in the first few days of kindergarten. Having spent more time in my office over the years than probably the rest of the Novices in her grade combined, I knew Rose better than probably anyone on campus, and it was no secret I considered myself if not a second mother to her then at the very least a particularly fond aunt. While I didn't dwell on my motivations too much, Rose had craved the love and affection of a mother, and in Rose, I found an outlet for my own thwarted motherly instincts.

Which is why seeing what was happening to Rose was so distressing. When we'd told Rose that Dimitri was gone, she was understandably bereft. However being familiar with loss and grieving, I'd expected her to tackle it in true Hathaway style – head on and with a vengeance. What I had seen was much more concerning; Rose withdrawing to the extent that she barely said a word to anyone. It was as though all joy had been sucked from her world – and as time went on, she was getting worse not better.

I'd had several teachers in here to talk to me about her this week. While a teacher visiting me to discuss Rose's behavior was _far_ from an unfamiliar occurrence, it was what they were saying that worried me.

"It's like she's slipping away in front of me," Stan had said. "I never thought I'd say this, Alberta, but I actually wish for the old Rose back."

I'd spoken with Deirdre, and while their sessions were confidential, she was able to tell me that she'd been unable to find anywhere suitable for Rose in the Moroi or human worlds. Any job she found that enabled Rose to support herself wasn't flexible enough to allow her to also take care of a baby, and the only places she'd be able to afford to live just weren't suitable to house a newborn. All the Moroi hospitals would be too expensive for Rose to deliver at, yet no human hospital would touch her without a social security number.

I was seriously considering asking Ellen to employ her here for a year after graduation. Now I was in my fifties, more and more of my job was office-based, so I could take care of the baby while Rose worked in the Moroi laundry service or the kitchens. As an employee, she would be entitled to be accommodated on campus and could deliver her baby at the infirmary with Dr. Olednzki. It would be difficult to convince Ellen to keep her on as she'd always detested Rose and everyone's talk about her big future, but she might do it just in order to humiliate her. But one thing I was sure of – at this stage Rose couldn't afford to be proud.

Which led me back full circle; the faded file sitting in my hand. Rose had been here so long I'd had to haul it out of a compactus in the archive room. I thought I knew what it contained, but I wanted to check it to be sure. Looking at my handwriting, miraculously unchanged in nearly a decade and a half, I could see where I had scribed the answers at Rose's intake interview.

Name: _Rosemarie Hathaway_

Birthday: _25 March_

Mother: _Guardian Janine Hathaway_

Father: _Mr._ _Ibrahim Mazur_

We had discussed Rose's parental situation at the time. A necessity given the myriad of different arrangements and relationships between Moroi and Dhampir parents and their progeny. Janine had mentioned Mr. Mazur was in no way involved in Rose's upbringing; that he was almost certainly unaware she existed. Looking to the last entry in that section of the form, I could see my neat handwriting.

In the case of emergency: _Contact mother, Guardian Janine Hathaway. If Guardian Hathaway is not able to exercise her parental duties, contact Mr. Ibrahim Mazur._

It came down to semantics. Rose and Janine had independently told me that Janine had disowned Rose and planned to have no further involvement in her life. Given Rose was technically still a fortnight off being eighteen, I was within my rights to contact her father if I felt there was a situation which warranted it.

I'd heard the rumors about Zmey. Rich, but with dirty money, he might have a string of illegitimate children for all I knew, and the last thing I wanted to do was make Rose's already perilous situation any worse than it already was. But knowing she'd already had one parent reject her, I hoped her other might be willing to offer some sort of help.

With a deep breath and a quick prayer, I picked up my phone, fingers dialing the cell number some discrete inquiries had provided. The phone rang several times before it was answered.

"Pavel."

"Guardian Pavel," I said putting on my formal Guardian voice. "This is Guardian Alberta Petrov from St. Vladimir's Academy in Montana. I need to speak with your charge Mr. Mazur about a private matter involving a mutual associate Guardian Janine Hathaway."

"Hold the line," he said in a completely expressionless voice. A minute or two later a new voice came on the line, and despite the thousands of miles between us, I immediately recognized the tone of a man used to commanding respect and immediate obedience.

"Abe Mazur," he greeted. "So you want to talk to me about Janine Hathaway? I haven't thought of her in twenty years!" he said, but I could tell that nonetheless his interest was piqued.


	34. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 11

"I have a daughter?" Abe's voice sounded awed.

"According to Janine yes, you do. Her name is Rosemarie, but everyone calls her Rose, and she'll be eighteen in two weeks time."

I could almost hear him doing the math.

"Yes, that would be about right," he murmured. "So, why are you calling me?"

This was the part of the conversation I was dreading, and I knew I had to pick my words carefully.

"Rose is in trouble, Mr. Mazur," I started.

"Abe, please," he interjected. "What sort of trouble?"

"Expecting a baby sort of trouble," I explained. "You have to understand Rose is the most headstrong, fearless, troublesome, sarcastic student I think I've ever come across…" I could hear Abe chuckle a little, "but she is also one of the most loyal, brave and selfless people I've ever met. She's in training to be a Guardian, and she's honestly the last student I would have expected to find themselves in this situation. While she appears to muck around a lot, in reality, she's very driven, and since her earliest years she's devoted herself to becoming the Guardian of her best friend, Lissa Dragomir."

I paused to let him take all this in.

"Is she the Novice who took the Princess on the run?" he asked. "Had everyone looking for them for two years?"

"Yes, that was her," I admitted, not sure whether Abe knowing about that boded well or otherwise, but it had been the talk of the Moroi world at the time so it's not like I could deny it. "There was a threat to Lissa's safety, so Rose did what she had to do to keep her safe. She's always been very devoted to Lissa – in many ways the Dragomirs were the only family she's ever known as she's had basically no relationship with her own mother. As a result of the baby, Lissa has turned her back on Rose, and Janine has severed even the little contact they had. Rose is very alone and has no support."

"And the father?" he asked, menace in his voice. "Why is he not stepping up to help her out? Does he need some _persuading?"_

Abe's tone gave me reason to hope that he might be willing to help Rose if only a little.

"No, it's not like that. He was a wonderful young man, and the two of them were very much in love. There were some serious impediments to them being together, so they kept their relationship secret. In any case, he had to leave the Academy before Rose knew she was pregnant and he's now missing presumed turned."

Abe let out a long hiss acknowledging the cruel blow.

"The whole situation has been traumatic for her. There's a _lot_ more to it than I'll go into now, but suffice to say Rose is dealing with the loss of the man she loves, the best friend she considers her only family has deserted her, and her mother has turned her back on her as well. She's determined to keep her baby, so as it stands she's going to graduate in two and a half months time and will find herself homeless with no money, no support network and heading into the last stage of her pregnancy. She can't work as a Guardian with a new baby, yet her training has left her ill-prepared to support herself and her child in any other way."

"So what do you want from me?" he asked, the question loaded.

"Honestly? _Any_ help you can give. I know you're a well-connected man, Abe. She doesn't need a handout, but a word in the right direction to help her find some legitimate employment and somewhere safe to stay in the vicinity of Court would be a huge help."

"If she needs help, why hasn't she called me herself?"

"She has no idea who her father is. Janine signed Rose over to the Academy when she was four and has only seen her a handful of times since. Describing their relationship as distant would be exaggerating the connection," I said, trying to keep recrimination out of my voice and failing. "Rose was brought up here at the Academy essentially as an orphan."

"That doesn't sound like much of a childhood," he mused.

"No. It wasn't," I admitted. "But she's not the sort to dwell on things like that – she usually takes things on the chin and gets on with what needs to be done; which is one of the reasons I'm so worried about her now. Normally she's so full of life, but it's like this has defeated her and she's slowly slipping away from us. I've known her most of her life, and I'm scared for her, Abe. I wouldn't have called unless I was."

We spoke for a little longer before ringing off. Abe said it was a lot to take in and he'd like to make some of his own inquiries before committing his help, but that he very much appreciated my call and that no matter what he decided he'd be in touch within the week. As I replaced the handset in the cradle, I hoped I'd done the right thing. The last thing Rose needed was any more complications in her life. However, I was cautiously confident that Abe intended to be of some assistance to her.

* * *

Another week, another useless session with Deirdre. Instead of telling all the reasons different hospitals, workplaces or programs couldn't help me; I wish she'd just find somewhere that _could_.

"So basically you're telling me there's nowhere for me to work, live or have my baby?" I snapped after listening to twenty minutes of what she'd discovered.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'll keep trying, but I think you might need to revisit the idea of adoption."

"I'm not giving up my baby," I said softly. "It's all I have left of Dimitri, and I owe it to him to keep our baby and raise it to know its father was a wonderful man who would have loved him or her very much."

"Have you reached out to his family, yet? Even if they can't help, surely they deserve to know?" It was something we kept coming back to in our sessions. I knew she was right, but I was putting it off. For all sorts of reasons, but mostly because I was scared. If my best friend didn't believe me, how could I expect Dimitri's family to? Especially now when, like me, they'd be grieving him. I'd explained that to Deirdre, but she'd countered saying knowing part of Dimitri lived on might help them with their grief. She was right; I did have to call them. But not yet.

"Besides, I can't ring – I don't have a phone," I'd said defensively. "Lissa had mine cut off."

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, at that moment reminding me of Dimitri. And that was my undoing. He'd been so close with his family and loved them so very much – he would have wanted them to know he had a son or daughter on the way. I couldn't control whether or not they'd believe me, but I should give them the opportunity.

Deirdre tapped on her computer getting the phone number in Baia from Dimitri's personnel file before I changed my mind.

"It should be about 11 am there. You can use my phone," she said. "I'm going to have a coffee in the teachers' lounge – come get me when you're ready. Press 0 to get an outside line and then dial the numbers as written."

I nodded, thanking her with my eyes as I didn't trust my voice. She smiled and wished me luck before closing the door firmly after her as she left. I was shaking so hard I had to replace the handset and dial a second time to make sure I got the numbers right. Like last time, there were clicks and an unfamiliar ring tone. I heard the other end pick up and moaned partially in relief and partially in frustration when I realized I'd got the answering machine.

"Hello Olena, it's Rose. I'm so so sorry for your loss," I said my voice shaking as I cried. "I know this must be a horrible time for you and I'm sorry to intrude. I'm heartbroken, too… I really thought somehow he'd make it back. You asked me to call you if I had news and I do. You probably won't believe me, but it's the truth, and you deserve to know so please hear me out. I don't know how since we're both Dhampir, but somehow the weekend of Dimitri's birthday I fell pregnant. I know it's his as I've never been with anyone else. I'm sixteen weeks now and due the end of August. I'm sorry I haven't called earlier and I'm not asking for anything from you, but I thought you deserved to know that part of Dimitri is going to live on through his son or daughter. I know it's hard to believe, but when you're ready, please call me at St. Vladimir's on…"

BEEP. The recording time ran out, but I figured what I'd left was enough. They knew where I was and how to get in touch with me. In a way, I was glad that I hadn't had to speak with anyone. This way, the ball was in their court, so if and when they were ready or had questions they could call. And if they didn't call then I'd know they didn't believe me or didn't want to know about Junior.

I closed my eyes and sat for a moment. Being alone was nice. Since the news about Dimitri, the only time I'd had to myself was when I was in the bathroom or sleeping. Celeste had returned to her own dorm after the first few days, but I was still accompanied almost everywhere else which was both a blessing and a curse.

I suppose I'd have to go and pack up Dimitri's room soon. I hadn't been able to make myself go back there since he'd left, but his family deserved to have his belongings back. I made a promise to myself I'd send the box back to Baia within the week, and if I hadn't heard anything from his family by then, I'd send a letter with it explaining about Junior in more detail.

Leaving Deirdre's office, I stuck my head into the teachers' lounge.

"I got their answering machine," I explained giving her a wave before walking towards my combat class for the morning. Now I was officially signed off, I no longer needed to attend, but I liked to go and try and keep my fitness up. If I was going to be a Guardian sometime after the baby was born, I couldn't afford to let my fitness go completely.

* * *

I wanted to go to Rose and see how she was going. After our fight, I'd been annoyed and let myself get carried away, but seeing her since the announcement about Guardian Belikov, I had to wonder whether maybe there was some truth to there having been something between them. She looked crushed; as though her only reason for waking up in the morning was gone. I recognized the look because that's how I'd felt after the accident that killed my family.

I should have gone to her as soon as I'd heard the news. I'd meant to, but Christian had needed my help with his Aunt. Alberta had called Tasha to tell her about Guardian Belikov, and Tasha had come unstuck. She'd rung Christian straight afterward in hysterics, and it had taken him several hours to calm her down. Tasha had wanted to get straight to campus and mourn Guardian Belikov here with others who knew him, but Alberta had all but forbidden it, citing some incident that had occurred with Rose last time Tasha was here. I didn't know all the particulars, other than Tasha had spent a good part of her time on the phone to Christian and I bitching Rose out and calling her horrible names. Horrible names I'd called her myself during our fight, I realized.

I'd been watching all week trying to find a time to talk to her, but she was always with someone, and I felt that what we needed to say required privacy. I considered using the bond to try to talk to her, but after our fight, I'd started to appreciate that the bond was in some ways as invasive to her as it was to me. I still didn't appreciate her witnessing my private moments, but I could now see how she didn't appreciate having them thrust upon her.

By Wednesday a week and a half after the announcement I'd decided to talk to Eddie or Mason to see how she was going. Mason was closer to Rose, but also a lot more protective, so I thought I'd try Eddie. I caught him at the end of lunch, Rose having already left for her next class. I'd sent Christian off to the feeders so I could try and get a moment with Eddie alone.

"Um, Eddie. How are you? I haven't seen you in ages…" It was a lie. He was in two classes with me. I'd just stopped speaking with him when I'd ceased talking to Rose. "How have you been?"

"Well thank you, Princess. How can I help you?"

I mentally cringed. Eddie had always been friendly and relatively laid back with me. We'd sat at the same lunch table when Rose and I returned, and he'd never been like this.

"Um – well I wanted to ask how is Rose going?"

Eddie looked at me, and while it was brief, I am sure I saw contempt flicker in his eyes.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Well, we're not really speaking at the moment…" He looked at me not saying a word. "We had a falling out when she told me she was pregnant."

He shrugged still not saying anything.

"Anyway, I was just wondering if she's ok?"

"No, Princess. She's far from ok. We're all anxious about her."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Is everything ok with the baby?"

"I seriously hope so. It's the only thing getting her through this."

I nodded.

"Has she told you who the father is?"

He nodded.

"Not at first. We only figured it out after she got the news."

"And you believe her?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I think a better question is why don't you?" Eddie muttered before excusing himself to go to class.

* * *

The army had started arriving. They would be here for two nocturnal days and one sunlit night. Everything was as prepared as it could be. So, for now, it was a matter of waiting.

The plan was to expose Nathan and awaken me during Galina's address early on the second nocturnal day when everyone had gathered, so everything was going to have to happen during the daylight before then. I still wasn't sure my plan would work, or if it did whether I would make it out alive. But I had to try.

I was lying on my bed running through the final plans when I heard a knock. One of Galina's minions sent to get me. It wasn't unexpected – I knew she'd want to talk to me before the big day.

"Dimitri," she smiled welcoming me into her sitting room. "The faithful have started to arrive – are you excited?"

"I am," I admitted, although the reason for my excitement was a little different to hers.

"Any last wishes?" she asked mischievously.

"Yes, actually. I want to cook myself a huge steak dinner to eat a few hours before, and I want to spend my last day in the sun. Is that ok?"

"Whatever you want pet," she said in a way that should have been affectionate yet on her just looked predatory.

"Also make sure there's lots of vodka on hand for our celebration afterward. I don't think we'll want to be disturbed…"

She smiled.

"Of course."

"Has that payment to my family gone through?"

"It has. One hundred million rubles."

About one and a half million US dollars. More than enough to support my family comfortably for the rest of their lives. I had no way of verifying that she'd done what she said, so I could only hope she'd kept her word – even though I didn't intend on keeping mine.

I opened my arms to her, inviting her to lie back against my chest. She lay there going through various aspects of plans for the next day, particularly the outing of Nathan. If my plan came off, I'd never get to see it, but it was a sacrifice I was _more_ than willing to make!

* * *

It was Friday 17th March. Five weeks since my Russian God was taken, three weeks since Guardian Schoenberg had broken the news to me. At lunchtime Eddie, Mason, Meredith, Angela, and Chelsea had tried to interest me in a games night, but I'd begged off telling them I really wanted to stay in alone.

"I'm nearly halfway through my pregnancy, and I've barely given this little person any thought," I'd explained. "I know it might not make sense to you, but tonight I want to stay in my room, look through the baby name book again and talk to Junior."

Mason had looked at me as though I was crazy, but Celeste understood.

"Mom was like that with my sister Stella," she agreed. "Every now and again she said she'd just want to stop and connect with the little miracle she was growing."

I smiled at her. I knew she was talking about her own pregnancy with Stella.

"I know where you are. I'll come get you if I get bored," I promised.

After dinner I walked back to the dorm with them, waving as they all headed back to the common room and I lay in bed, pulling out the name book again. I flicked through it for a while, but inspiration for a girls name was still lacking. So I dragged out my laptop, firing up my email program. Nothing there, so I fired up a new e-mail window.

 _My darling Dimitri,  
You've been gone now five weeks, and still, I can't believe it. Somehow I thought were you really gone I'd feel it, but my heart refuses to believe even though my mind knows it's true. I got your letter, and it was beautiful, thank you. I could almost hear you reading it in my mind. I can remember you writing it at the hotel – how afterward you came back to bed, and we cried and held each other knowing it was our last night together._

 _I rang your family on Tuesday to tell them about the baby. I'm sorry I didn't call them earlier. I guess I kept hoping you'd come back to be able to tell them our big news yourself, and once I knew you weren't coming home, it was just one more thing I had to face that I put off. But I've done it now. I left a message on the answering machine and asked them to call me when they're ready to discuss, so hopefully, they'll give me the benefit of the doubt and call me to give me a chance to explain._

 _I've been reading the baby name book again tonight. I'm still stuck on a girl's name. I had a shortlist of boys' names I liked that I was going to discuss with you – but now I won't get that chance I'm going to run with my top choice if Junior is a boy. I think you'd approve. I really think it is (a boy), but I don't want to be unprepared, so I'm determined to pick a girl's name too just in case._

 _I checked the registration policy, and I'm not going to be able to give our baby the surname Belikov - even though I want to with all my heart. The rules state the baby has to have Mom's surname unless Dad is there to sign to acknowledge paternity, or there is DNA proof. The problem is even if I get your family to agree to a DNA test to prove Junior is yours, I still have to submit the proof with the registration forms - and then it will be public knowledge that Junior was created by two Dhampir._

 _I looked into changing my surname to Belikov before Junior is born, so he or she could have your surname, but it's going to cost $480 for me to change my name and that's almost three times the only money I have saved up :( So unless I come into enough cash before Junior arrives, I'm thinking of giving them_ 'Firstname Dimitrievich Belikov Hathaway' _for a boy and_ 'Firstname Dimitrievna Belikov Hathaway' _for a girl. I hope I got the Russian bits right. If your family call me, I'll check that's the right way to do it. Otherwise, I'll check with one of the Russian Guardians that it's correct!_

 _Guardian Schoenberg was here last week and has signed me off on the combat sections of the Novice curriculum so I can graduate. Even though I'm just on seventeen weeks now, and the Dr. said I could train until twenty weeks, I'm starting to feel breathless when I exercise too hard. I'm still going to classes though, even though I'm no longer sparring or doing any of the interactive stuff with the other Novices._

 _Lissa is still not speaking to me, and I think this might be it for us, Comrade. At first, I was angry, but now I just can't be bothered buying into it. I just have too much else to do, and it hurts that she's known about Junior for over a month now, and hasn't once asked about him or her. And it's not as though I'll ever be her Guardian now, anyway. I was always taught 'they' came first, but now Junior is on his or her way, I know where my priorities lie._

 _It's my eighteenth birthday in eight days, and while I once held such huge hopes for that day, without you here, it really will be just another day. I'm much more excited about later that week when I'm due to go to Missoula again for another scan. I can't wait to see Junior again! I can find out if it's a boy or a girl at this scan, and everyone is saying I should find out, but I am not sure I will. When I thought about it, I imagined you wouldn't want to know, and since you've had no say in any of this, it seemed like a way to give you input even though you're not here._

 _I'm sorry I keep emailing you. You're gone, and I should accept that, but I just can't. So humor me my darling while I keep writing and dreaming that somewhere you might be able to read this. That even though you're gone, there's some way of you knowing how much I miss you. How much I still love you and how much I wish things had been different for you, me and our baby.  
_

 _I love you, Comrade.  
Roza_

I pressed send and then lay on my bed, running my hand across my stomach. My baby bump was getting a little more noticeable now! It was quite late – nearly 11 am – and I really should sleep soon. I rolled onto my side and was looking at my photos of Dimitri when I felt something. Inside my tummy, I felt a weird fluttering feeling. It was as though butterflies were inside my stomach. It took a moment or two before I guessed what it was.

And then it was as though the floodgates had opened. I cried for ten minutes before I leaped out of bed. The corridors were silent and empty, and I tried to keep my cries down although I was sobbing by the time I was walking through the Guardian dorm hallway. Perkins found me three-quarters of the way to Alberta's room and escorted me the rest of the way, not even trying to speak with me after the third time he'd asked me what was wrong and all I could gasp was "Alberta."

He knocked on a door at the end of the corridor, and within seconds Alberta was at the door, looking very different in a large fluffy bathrobe and a pair of slippers.

"Rose? What's wrong!" she asked in alarm.

I threw myself into her arms.

"I felt the baby move!"

Alberta motioned Perkins away and hugged me as I wept on her shoulder.

"Come in, I'll make you a hot chocolate," she suggested, but I shook my head.

"Can you let me into his room? I know he's gone, and he's not coming back, but I want to share this with him. I need to feel close to him right now…"

She nodded, fetching her keys and leading me up the stairs and unlocking the door to Dimitri's room. Even though the air was stale and the room felt disused, there was still the faintest scent of him. My tears escalated, and I hugged Alberta.

"Can I sleep here tonight? Please? I won't make a mess or a fuss."

"Of course. Did you want me to stay with you? Or get Celeste?"

"No. This is something I need to share with just him."

With a final hug, I closed the door, leaning back against it to look at the neat and orderly room my love had left behind – untouched since he and I were last in it together. Outside, I heard a door open and a familiar voice.

"Everything ok?" It was Stan's voice. I never knew he had the room opposite Dimitri's.

"Everything's fine, thanks, Stan," Alberta said. "Rose felt the baby move for the first time tonight, and she's just feeling a little lost. She's missing Belikov, too, so she's going to sleep here this evening. If anyone queries it, let them know I approved it."

"Shall do. Alberta?"

"Yes?"

"The rumors are true, aren't they? Belikov is the father, isn't he?"

"He is," she said so softly I almost didn't catch it through the door.

"That poor kid," he mumbled.

"The baby?" Alberta snapped.

"No," he clarified. "I meant Rose."


	35. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 12

"Why are you moving the cars outside?"

I tried not to jump a mile high. Nathan down here in the basement car park was the _last_ thing I needed today.

"Because it's Saturday. I wash the cars every Saturday. Galina doesn't like them being dirty or getting damaged by salt," I said calmly.

Both things were true. Galina had always been fastidious about her belongings even back when she was a Dhampir earning shitty Guardian wages. It's one of the traits we shared – we liked to take care of our things. I could remember back at St. Basil's we'd sometimes sit side-by-side polishing our shoes and chatting. Things had been so much simpler then. While she'd been my mentor, she'd also been my friend and the closer we got to graduation, the more we'd slipped into the role of trusted colleagues.

There'd been nothing sexual between us back then. Or if she'd wanted anything, I'd had no inkling of it. I certainly hadn't thought about her in that way. But I'd respected her greatly; she'd epitomized everything that was admirable and meritorious in a Guardian, and I'd wanted to be just like her. Which is why seeing what she'd become was so abhorrent. All her basest desires brought to the fore at the expense of the qualities that had been her greatest strengths. While she professed an amorous interest in me now, I wasn't fooling myself that it was anything beyond a mechanism to satiate her admittedly voracious appetites and to use as another mechanism of control. While the Guardian Galina had commanded allegiance by earning the respect of her team, now she enforced it through fear and favors.

The Guardian Galina had been would never have wanted to live like this. Sure she probably wouldn't have minded the fast cars and some of the luxuries her Strigoi self had amassed, but she'd valued her virtue more than a Ferrari. I had to wonder whether that's why she gave her involuntary recruits a choice. In any case, it made what I was going to do a little easier to bear. Thinking that in some way I was releasing her.

I walked past Nathan, hearing his warning snarl but trusting he didn't want to upset things just before his coup any more than I did just before mine. So I got the next set of keys and drove the car out into the large paved service area to the side of the manor. Usually, I'd wash the cars quite close to the house – but today I'd used the excuse I'd also clean the minivans some of the army had arrived in to park quite a bit further from the house. I parked Galina's Ferrari and walked back to the house to get the next car.

"How do I know you're not planning to try to escape?" Nathan growled.

"Because Galina has tripled the human security while everyone is here, so I'd not make it a hundred yards towards the gate. Besides - every bored immortal is probably sitting at the windows watching me and would raise the alarm in half a minute if I tried," I said sarcastically.

Nathan knew I had a point.

"Fine - but I'm going to stay here and watch you. Galina is not going to thank me if her little pet escapes…"

"Be my guest," I said, getting the keys to the final car and driving it out onto the forecourt lining it up along with the others. Walking back to the house, I gathered what I'd need to wash and check the cars. Sponges, buckets, chamois, detergent, anti-freeze for the radiators and the high-pressure spray unit. I'd gotten lucky with the day, the weather being unseasonably warm after a frigid night. It was still only a little above freezing out, but warm enough for me to do what I needed to.

I attached the hose to the taps beside the mains water outlet outside, running it to the pressure cleaning unit. I washed the first of the vehicles, whistling as I worked. Truth be told washing cars in this weather was a miserable business even rugged up as I was, but I needed to look casual and relaxed as I did this. I quickly washed each vehicle down, using the chamois to dry them one by one. After a while, Nathan disappeared, evidently bored watching another man labor. Still, I couldn't assume he wasn't somewhere looking at me from inside, so I kept about my preparations slowly and methodically.

One by one, I popped the bonnets, checking the radiators were filled with anti-freeze and topping up the windscreen wiper reservoirs at the same time. I also opened the gas tanks under the guise of adding an enricher to the mix. Once I'd completed my preparations, I closed up most of the cars, carefully returning the keys to the board inside.

"Very nice, Belikov," Nathan growled, appearing out of nowhere. "Why haven't you brought them inside?"

"I haven't shined the tires yet..."

I was clutching at straws, but I needed those cars outside. _All_ of them.

"So do it now."

"I don't answer to you," I said pushing past him. Before I'd moved more than a foot, he'd pushed me up against the inner wall of the garage, the side of my face pressed painfully against the brick. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as his mouth made its way to my ear.

"Yet," he whispered ever so quietly. "Don't get used to being awakened, Belikov. I have a feeling eternity is going to be short for you."

That was my other problem. If I were turned, as Galina's second I'd have a huge target on my back for every immortal who wanted to get close to her, or for those like Nathan who'd been displaced by my appointment to that position. So failure wasn't an option. Nathan left me then, but all it did was strengthen my resolve. It was time to do this.

I grabbed two sets of car keys from the pegboard and then closed the garage door, walking through the basement corridors towards the kitchen. Along the way, I grabbed the laundry cart I'd stashed in one of the corridors. Empty, other than a jerrycan of petrol covered by some random washing and dirty bed linens, I wheeled it towards the laundry room beside the kitchen. Walking casually down the hallway past the dormitories where some of the army were being temporarily accommodated, I couldn't believe my luck that there was a moment where the corridor was empty. Without breaking stride, I grabbed the leather journal of names from the desk. I'd sworn to myself if I could, I'd do it. Those Guardians, Moroi, and humans deserved a record of their death, and their families deserved peace of mind knowing what had happened to their loved ones. I threw the book into the laundry cart and kept walking and only just in time – two immortal came around the corner only seconds later.

In the safety of the laundry room, I fished the book out and wrapped it in a makeshift knapsack I made from one of the sheets along with the only other souvenir I was taking from this place. All my clothes and belongings I'd left in my room in my duffel bag. It was replaceable, and moving any clothing or items from my chamber would have raised immediate suspicion, so I'd abandoned them and would leave in what I was wearing. Since I always wore my duster, no one thought anything of me wearing that.

I exited the laundry, the knapsack hidden back in the cart. It was a risk; I was relying on the indolence of Strigoi. However, experience had shown me not much would tempt them into a service area unless they had to be there, so it should be ok. I moved slowly into the kitchen. I'd run through this in my mind hundreds of times – now all I had to do is hope it actually worked.

I opened the old coal shoot, carefully climbing inside through the half-height door. It was all but empty, but there were years of coal dust in the nooks and crannies. I was hoping it would be enough. Carefully lifting an electric fan inside, I positioned it and switched it on to oscillate and blow at maximum speed, although it was still switched off at the wall so for the time being, it was stationary. Once I was satisfied with the position of the fan, I exited the small room, leaving the door very slightly ajar. Back in the kitchen, I carefully dusted myself down. The last thing I needed was to be covered in coal dust at this juncture.

The kitchen was still mercifully vacant, so I had to act while I could. I grabbed the aerosol tins I'd put aside for this purpose and put one inside each industrial microwave, setting their timers to start in ten minutes time. I was hoping that would give me enough time to vacate the building. With a final look around the kitchen, I said a prayer. If this didn't work, one way or another my soul would be meeting its maker today. With a deep breath, I switched on the fan in the coal shoot, turned every gas knob on the three industrial cookers to flood the area with gas and then left the room, shutting the door behind me.

Walking as quickly as I could to the laundry, I opened the jerry can of fuel, making sure a small amount dribbled out through the fabric base of the cart as I wheeled it down the hallways towards the main stairs to the ground level. While five or six different stairwells led to the basement, this was the only one that was carpeted. It also had the advantage that the camera which observed the staircase was placed directly above the archway I had to pass under – so I was able to jump up and rip it from the wall before it recorded what I was doing. Had someone been following me on the cameras they would have seen me walk through other basement areas and have a good idea that when one went offline, it was due to me. But I was hoping that, as usual, no one was looking too closely. In any case, I had to move and quickly now.

Pulling the knapsack out of the laundry cart, I put it to one side, grabbing the jerry can and dousing the carpeted stairs with as much petrol as I could before dumping the jerry can back into the fabric cart where it would soak into the remaining linens. I wheeled it close to the timber fretwork. It was an old house and a timber staircase, so with any luck flames would spread quickly.

I knew I stank of petrol now, but it was only minutes before everything would happen, so I grabbed the knapsack and walked as fast as I could to the garages. Luck was again on my side – other than a couple of immortals in the distance walking away from me, I saw no one. I'd made it! I walked through the door to the garage and had started to bar it from the inside when I heard a noise behind me. I whipped around, dropping the knapsack, just in time to feel Nathan's fist collide with my shoulder. If I'd been half a second later, it would have been my head, and I would have been out cold.

"Naughty naughty – what have you been up to, Belikov?!" he asked. And with those nine words, everything started to unravel.

* * *

I sat at my desk sipping Rémy Martin Louis XIII Cognac thinking about my mother. I hadn't thought of her in a long time. Probably years. At first, after she'd died when I was ten, it was too painful. Then time passed, I got busy, and she'd become part of a past I so desperately wanted to forget. And I'd done so very successfully, up until that unexpected phone call last week.

I had a child. A daughter. Since Guardian Petrov called, I'd had everything about the child, and her background investigated, and it was looking very much like Janine had told the truth. I was a father. And something about finding out I was a parent made me think about my own childhood. Well. My mother, at least.

Being a parent was not what I'd intended. After my upbringing, I'd decided never to be beholden to anyone emotionally in that way, particularly a wife or a child. With my own damaged upbringing, how could I hope to be any sort of a father? Yet it seemed fate had had other ideas, because unless this were an elaborate ruse close to twenty years in the making, I had a child.

I had a stack of photos of the girl. Rose. Looking at her, I could certainly see the resemblance. She had my hair and eyes, and something about her lips was mine, too. But I could also see Janine. The nose was certainly hers, as was the overall shape of her face. Her skin was a pleasant mix of Janine's pale milky skin and my own golden tones. She was beautiful, I was pleased to see. Breathtaking. In the earlier photos from school yearbooks, I could see a wild and mischievous gleam in her eyes. The ones taken this week were different. As well as looking older, she looked downcast. Defeated, Petrov had said. It was the right word for it.

For not the first time I pondered how to handle the situation. I'd certainly not let my only child end up selling her body, compromising her integrity or endangering my grandchild for want of a few dollars. I had _more_ than enough money and could provide for her and the child very comfortably for the rest of their lives, and I'd not even notice a difference financially. But I was curious.

I'd never expected to be a father, but now I knew I was I couldn't just send money. I wanted to meet her. Maybe not tell her I was her father – but just meet her and get a sense of who she was. What made her tick.

"Pavel?" I called out to my Chief Guardian, faithful manservant and also my closest friend of over twenty years – probably the man who'd been standing guard outside my door when the child was conceived, I thought with amusement.

"Yes, Mr. Mazur?"

"Get someone to organize a flight plan to America. St. Vladimir's Academy in Montana," I said, grabbing a second tumbler and pouring him a glass.

Pavel raised his eyebrows. He very rarely drank, and certainly never on duty. I gestured to the seat in front of my desk.

"Have a drink with me, Pavel. Isn't that what you do to congratulate a man when he becomes a father?" I dropped the photos on the desk for him to look at. "Rosemarie Hathaway. My daughter and eighteen in a week."

Pavel looked at each of the photos carefully, looking up several times to scrutinize me before looking back to the images in his hand.

"She's lucky she got Janine's nose," he laughed, clinking his crystal glass against mine and raising the cognac to his lips.

* * *

I'd been starting to think the call wouldn't come, but finally, it did. And I could breathe again! As I'd hoped, Abe indicated he wanted to help Rose. It came with conditions, but I hadn't been stupid enough to believe it wouldn't. However what he suggested seemed reasonable enough.

It turned out, amongst many other things Abe Mazur was a qualified lawyer. It made sense to know the law if you continually skirted so close to the edge of it, I suppose. He proposed a visit to Rose to coincide with her eighteenth birthday. He was going to pose as a lawyer representing her father. He hadn't decided precisely how to play it, yet, but he mentioned it would likely be some type of 'coming of age trust fund' with an initial large payment then an annuity to provide for her and the child for the rest of their lives. His only condition was my silence. I was never to tell anyone I'd called him or let on I knew that Rose was his daughter.

I agreed in an instant. It was a small price to pay to buy Rose and her child a safe, comfortable life. Rose would be able to buy the two of them a home, and there'd be no hurry for her to find a job to support them.

* * *

Nathan had me caught between him and the wall. If I let him pin me, he'd rip my neck open with his fangs before I could fend him off. It was exactly what I'd hoped to avoid – a fight with a Strigoi while I was weaponless, but what choice did I have? I was also aware of something he wasn't – any second now the basement of this manor was going to explode.

I'd disabled the gravity fed water tanks on the roof that serviced the comprehensive fire system by turning off the gas that was heating the water and preventing it from freezing. Instead of life-saving water, the tanks were now filled with frozen solid ice. Similarly, before I'd come inside earlier, I'd shut off the primary and secondary water supply pipes to the building. There should be enough residual in the pipes that no one had yet noticed the lack of water, but it would severely hamper any fire-fighting operations.

Old buildings like these were notoriously difficult to defend against fire, and I was relying on the fact Strigoi wouldn't be able to make it out as far as the protection of the cars because of the sunlight. Hopefully, the whole lot of them would be incinerated. But unless I got away from Nathan, there's a good chance I'd be included as one of those killed.

I lashed out with my first, punching him in the side of the face. He was strong, but I was fighting for my life. He staggered a little, giving me the chance to follow up my punch with a kick to his abdomen. He staggered backward for a moment, but it was enough for me to pivot and smack the automatic door opener with my fist. Instantly the doors started to open, giving me a way to escape and more importantly letting in life-saving light. Nathan growled in frustration as I quickly stepped towards the sunlight, knowing he was unable to follow me.

"You won't get far," he snarled at me as I picked up the knapsack and ran as fast as I could towards the cars. I didn't look back, but I was halfway to the closest one when I heard a small explosion. My heart sunk – it was something but nowhere near enough to distract the Strigoi and the humans they'd employed to guard their gates. A moment later I was knocked down as the shockwave from an enormous explosion pushed me to the ground. Bits of debris were raining down on me. I looked back, and the entire far side of the building was obliterated. I'm not sure if it was the coal or the gas, but there was already a serious fire.

I picked myself up and made it to the second car from the end. The van. I threw down my knapsack and quickly started the engine, releasing the brake. I used a block of wood I'd put aside earlier to jam the accelerator down, and using a second block of wood I pushed the gear selector into drive. I leaped back as I sent the car hurtling towards the garage. If it didn't cause a second fire, at the very least, it would cause more structural damage.

Picking up my knapsack, I reached into my duster and grabbed my zippo. The one Ivan had given me for my eighteenth birthday and that I'd treasured ever since. I hated to be without it, but I knew Ivan would be the first one telling me to use it if it helped buy my freedom.

"Thanks, Ivan," I said before I lit it and threw it into the back of the car I'd left open. I'd positioned a rag soaked in petrol on the back seat. Hopefully, it would ignite and incinerate the other vehicles, too.

Then I jumped into the furthest most car – a dark SUV. Wasting no time, I started the engine, threw it into reverse and got as far from the manor house as I could, taking off over the forecourt and across the manicured grass to a secluded thicket of trees. I stopped there with the engine running, finally looking back. The building was well alight, and a couple of the cars were on fire, too. The western end, above the kitchens, had almost entirely collapsed and the eastern end, where the garages were, was also damaged and on fire.

As I watched, I saw one of the security vehicles drive up from the front gates. They parked at a distance in the middle of the driveway, a couple of humans getting out to look at the blaze in the distance. They stood for a moment and then got into the car, driving back towards the front gates. I let them go hoping they were abandoning their posts. It would make my escape that much easier. I watched the manor burn for the next half an hour. The fire was spreading fast, and the destruction was growing, part of the roof falling in. I couldn't be sure I'd got them all – but I was sure I'd killed a good many Strigoi this day. Now all I had to do was make it out alive myself!

I drove across the lawns towards the gatehouse at the end of the long driveway, stopping some three hundred yards away and obscuring the car behind some trees. I crept the rest of the way to the gatehouse on foot. When I got there, the place was all but deserted. I watched the last three humans pile anything that wasn't nailed down into the back of a car and take off. It looks like whatever Galina had paid these guys it hadn't been enough.

Running back to the car, I checked it before climbing in. It was clear, and I started the engine, getting onto the driveway and driving to the front gates. They were open and unguarded, but I was still speeding as I pulled out onto the main road and away from the manor as quickly as I could. Moving in the general direction I needed to go, watching for signs the whole way, within half an hour I was on the P-254; the main highway that led from Novosibirsk to Omsk. The same highway that ran past my hometown of Baia. Looking at the signs, I calculated that within six hours I would be home. Tonight I planned to see my family and sleep in my own bed for the first time in three years.


	36. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 13

It was 6 pm by the time I turned off the P-254 on to the road to Baia. I'd only stopped once; an hour or so after I started driving – to use the toilet and to make an anonymous call to the Guardian headquarters in Moscow to let them know they needed every available Guardian in the Novosibirsk area to head to the manor and destroy the place entirely before sundown. The sun had set an hour and a half ago, so I would be arriving home at night. When I'd escaped the mansion, Baia and home had seemed the obvious place to come; I missed my family dreadfully and hadn't seen them in three years. But now I was driving away from the highway down the road to the sleepy village of my childhood I wondered whether my arrival would frighten them too much? There were young children in the house, after all, and by now they would know I was missing presumed turned.

I came around the last corner and saw the outskirts of Baia ahead of me. My breath a ragged gasp, my hands were shaking on the steering wheel. Home. I was _home!_ I drove down the road slowly, past buildings I'd known all my life and that were as familiar to me as the lines on the back of my hand. Yes, there were some changes – life stands still for no man – but overall it was still the town of my childhood and youth.

My hands were shaking so badly by the time I turned onto my street that I thought I really shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle. Had it been anywhere but sleepy backwoods Baia I probably wouldn't. My nervous energy was all but gone, and I was conscious it had been many hours since I'd eaten, even longer than that since I'd slept. I could almost taste Mama's cooking on my lips as I pulled up near the front of our house.

I switched off the engine and looked at the modest timber home for a moment. It had once been a single story four room cottage, but over the years had been extended and further extended until now it was one of the larger homes in the village. The lights were on inside - mostly in the kitchen and living areas. I could even see the flicker of the television through the net curtains down the side of the house. I made a mental note to discuss that with Mama – the curtain should be drawn for safety's sake as anyone could peer through that window and into the house had they a mind to. Drawing in my breath and letting it slowly out I climbed out of the car. I had no bags with me. Nothing but the knapsack which I left in the car. I walked to the door and knocked.

I could hear someone walking to the door. While Baia was a relatively safe town, and my family's home closer to the center where an attack was less likely, this was still an area inhabited primarily by Dhampir, so people knew to call before just dropping around at night.

"Who is it?" a female voice asked suspiciously. Karolina by the sounds of it.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out, just a strangled little cry. I was so overcome I could barely speak.

"Karo?" I finally stammered out.

"Who _is it?"_ Karolina demanded again. I could hear more footsteps approaching the front door.

"It's Dimka, Karolina. I've escaped. I've come home."

There was a squeal of fear from the other side of the door, and I heard the sound of the bolts being slid into place. That was another thing I'd have to speak to them about – those bolts should _always_ be engaged at nighttime. Had I been Strigoi, I could easily have kicked the door in were they not in place.

I could hear footsteps running away from the door, my mother's voice calling out from the kitchen in alarm, then the heavy footsteps of my Babushka.

"Move out of my way, silly geese," she barked at my sisters. "Your brother is hungry and tired, and you leave him on the doorstep like a traveling salesman," she grumbled. "Set another place for dinner and light the fire in his bedroom. Dimka is tired and needs his family tonight!"

I heard the bolts slide back and the door opened, spilling warm golden light onto the porch where I was waiting. Standing in the doorway was my Babushka. All of five foot nothing, she was the scariest old woman I'd ever come across – and I said that even though I was her favorite grandchild.

"Glad you've made it before the rain," she said, looking past me and out to the sky. "Well? Come inside before you let the warmth out," she grumbled, but it was with a twinkle in her eye. I walked through the low doorway, stooping slightly as I did so. Then I bent over to hug my diminutive grandmother. Right then, I could have been five years old again crying as I showed her the chick fallen from its nest in the tree, not a twenty-five-year-old man trained to fight and kill the undead.

"Dimka!" It was my mother's voice, and she was barreling down the corridor towards us. She didn't stop to wait for me to disengage from my grandmother – she just threw her arms around both of us. She was sobbing and seemed incapable of saying anything other than "my son" over and over again. I gave her a weary smile and hug, feeling older than she and Babushka together at that moment.

"Where are your bags? How long are you staying? Why do you smell like petrol?" she finally asked, leading me down the hallway to where my three sisters stood looking as though they'd seen a ghost. Since they no doubt thought I was dead, I suppose that made sense.

"No bags. Not sure. Long story. Can I have a shower and eat please? It's been a while since I've had food or sleep."

I must have looked dead on my feet because Mama sprang into action. "Of course my son," she said bustling off to the kitchen, tears still pouring down her face. Babushka finally let go of me, and I shuffled into the house to be attacked by my three sisters. Karolina first, then Sonya and finally Viktoria. Viktoria was the first to break away.

"No offense, Dimka, but you stink!"

I chuckled.

"I need a shower. Is anyone using my room?"

Karolina snorted.

"Not likely. Every time I suggest one of the kids have it Mama growls at me. She's keeping it vacant in the hope you'll move back home!"

I smiled. Mama would be in seventh heaven if I came back to live in Russia. Still – I couldn't see it happening. I climbed the stairs wearily up to the next floor where all the bedrooms were. I was walking down the familiar corridor to my room when the bathroom door opened and my nephew Paul stepped out. He screamed although I was proud to see he fell into a fighting stance as he did so.

I was so tired I probably could be taken out by a nine-year-old I thought to myself as I dropped down to his level, showing him my eyes.

"I'm your uncle Dimka – you remember me, Paul?" I said as soothingly as I could.

"For goodness sake, Paul – hug your uncle!" Karolina ordered having come up the stairs at the first shriek. "And don't frighten us all like that!" While she was trying to be fierce, I could see she was weeping. Paul gave me an uncertain hug before taking a wide step around me, going over to his mother. Karolina shrugged apologetically.

"It's ok, Karo," I said with a smile. "It's not every day a boy sees his uncle returned from the dead! I'll just have a shower, and then I'll come down and tell you all everything," I promised.

Stepping into my room, I was instantly transported back ten years. It was virtually unchanged since I was fifteen. The same posters, the same curtains, hell even the same quilt was on the bed. I hadn't lived here full time for many years, but it would always be home. I opened the small wardrobe, surprised to see there were still clothes in there. I chose the largest looking sweatshirt and pants I could find. While I'd hit my max height of six foot seven inches at around nineteen, I'd been the epitome of long and lanky. In the years between eighteen and twenty-one, I'd filled out, putting on most of my weight. But the increased training at St. Vladimir's had seen me amass even more muscle.

I grabbed a couple of towels from the hallway cupboard and went into the bathroom. Carefully preparing the soap, shampoo, and conditioner I'd need, I started the shower, pulling the hair tie from my long hair and sighing as it broke between my fingers. One blessing of being home was the never-ending hot water supply. Our hot water was centrally provided by the district and pumped to each house for use in the radiators and showering. It was always hot, but you had to be careful to check the cold water pipes had not frozen otherwise you could scald yourself. I waited the moments required to ensure there was flowing cold before I adjusted the taps and stepped into the stall.

I groaned with appreciation as the hot water coursed over my skin, loosening my tired and weary muscles. I closed my eyes and took several deep cleansing breaths before using the soap to scrub at every available inch of my body. I wanted to wash the horror of the mansion and its inhabitants from myself. Once my skin was a rosy pink from the water and my exertions, I shampooed and rinsed my hair twice before conditioning it. Running my hand over my face, it felt rough. I needed to shave, but that could wait. For now, I had other more pressing concerns – like eating, speaking with my family and calling my Roza!

I stepped out of the stall and quickly toweled myself down, dressing in the sweats. They were a little tighter than I wore these days but they fit well enough. Using my fingers to comb through my wet hair I dug around in the top drawer of the bathroom cabinet, finding a hot pink hair tie that no doubt belonged to one of my sisters. I sighed and kept digging, eventually finding a more manly dark brown elastic which I used to tie back my hair.

Back downstairs I was planning to use the phone to call Roza, but Mama was bringing the evening meal to the table. Meat dumplings. It was a fairly standard home meal, but right now I don't think I'd smelled anything more tempting in years.

"Thanks, Mama," I said hugging her again hard. "It's good to be home," I mumbled sitting at my usual place at the foot of the table. The family took their places, and Mama said a prayer before we ate, thanking the Lord many times for my safe return.

"Has Roza called?" I asked, my mind still on my beautiful girl.

"She called to tell us she'd spoken to you and pass on your message," Mama said sadly, "And then she left a message on the machine at Christmas. We haven't heard from her since we got the news you were missing."

I was surprised. I thought Rose would have called them more, but who knew what was going on there. Maybe she was too upset to call? I pushed it from my mind, for the time being, instead focusing on my food. I dug in, chewing and swallowing in satisfaction. They let me eat enough to satisfy my immediate needs before the questions started. They were all talking at once, and it was impossible to answer one question without the next person butting in.

"Let the young man speak!" Babushka barked in frustration, although she'd been asking as many questions as the others. I chuckled – I missed the easy interaction which came with being part of a large family. I started from the point I'd flown out from St. Vladimir's, telling them about being stationed outside Novosibirsk and how I'd been allowed to travel the city purchasing food.

"This whole time you were only six hours away?" Mama gasped. "Do you have any idea of how worried and upset we've been?!"

"I know, Mama. But I wasn't allowed to call. It could have put everyone in danger."

I continued, telling them about the cell, how we'd scoured the city looking for Strigoi and what had happened when they found us.

"Why did they save two of you and kill the others?"

"I think it's because I'm Russian. They mostly took those who had trained at St. Basil's," I said, the answer only just percolating its way through my subconscious now. "The Strigoi in charge of the whole operation was Galina," I explained.

My mother gasped in distress, her hand covering her mouth. Karolina and Sonya both looked shocked, but Viktoria was confused.

"Wasn't she some old teacher of yours?" she asked, looking at everyone's reactions. "There's a plaque up at St. Basil's for her."

"She was my mentor and an exceptional Guardian," I explained. "She was turned in Prague a few years ago." It was hard to put into words the sadness I was feeling. Now the adrenaline was gone the reality was sinking in. In all likelihood today I had killed my former mentor. I took a moment and ate another dumpling, mostly to give myself the opportunity to compose myself.

"I won't go into all the details about the mansion now," I said giving a pointed look in Paul's direction that the adults picked up on. "But Galina must have recognized my name on the list of those brought in because I'd only been there a few hours when she called for me. It was hard, Mama," I said – focusing my eyes on hers. "It was her, but it wasn't… I can't explain it," I drifted off. Even though she'd been Strigoi at the end, once she'd been my Mentor, and I didn't want to disrespect her memory. "She wanted me to be her second in command and help her rule her empire. She had an elaborate plan to take down the Moroi government. It was horrible and perverted. The whole place was." I decided then I wouldn't tell them about the sexual aspect of Galina's interest in me. I would never tell anyone about that other than my Roza.

"There was a full meeting of her army at the mansion yesterday and today. If things had gone according to her plan, I would have been being awakened about now," I said with a shudder. "Instead I blew up part of the mansion and set the rest on fire during the daylight. I also torched the cars so no one could escape. I called the main garrison in Moscow anonymously and explained they needed to destroy the place in daylight, and then I got out of there."

Karolina was crying, as was Mama. Babushka looked proud, and everyone else looked at me in disbelief. It was quite the story. I finished my meal, taking seconds and eating slowly. There were still many questions, so I took my time answering them. Karolina fetched Zoya to feed her, sending Paul up to dress and go to bed. We adjourned to the living room, everyone taking their designated places as long history dictated. The far end of the left sofa was still mine, so I settled there, stretching my long legs out in front of me.

"Would you like to hold your niece?" Karolina asked shyly, handing me the sleepy infant wrapped in a blanket. I took her with a smile, looking down at her gorgeous rosy cheeks. She was angelic.

"So, Sonya? You're pregnant?" I asked, pointing to her stomach as I voiced the observation I'd made at dinner.

"Yeah. Six months," she said giving me a defiant look. I knew better than to ask if the father was around.

Karolina stepped in quickly, "We're hoping it's a girl so she can grow up close with Zoya."

"That would be nice," I muttered, thinking my Guardian wage would now have to spread that little bit further.

"Mama, have you used any of the money in my bank account?" I asked.

"No. I haven't touched it. I have a bit saved from what you've sent us, and they paid your first Guardian pension last week," she said softly. "I was going to go and close it and move everything across in a week or two." Money was a sensitive topic in the family. Sonya got a small wage from working at the pharmacy, but other than that the family was entirely dependent on what I sent home.

"Well, I'll need to repay that to them," I said with a smile. "I should check my balance."

"You can use my school laptop to log in," Viktoria volunteered. "I'll set it up down here."

A couple of minutes later we were connecting to the Internet, and I was logging into my banking. It was frustratingly slow, but at least we had a connection. Typing in my username and password, I waited for the page to load. When it did my eyes nearly fell out of my head. Apparently even as a Strigoi, Galina's word had meant something. The last transaction in my account – the one I had added my mother to – was a one hundred million ruble deposit.

"What's wrong, son?" my mother asked me, looking at my ashen face.

Paul now in bed, I disclosed the darker part of my tale. The choice Galina had given me. I explained how I'd never intended to be turned, but how concerned I had been to provide for them should the worst happen.

"I asked her to make a payment so I knew you'd be provided for after I was turned."

"And she did?"

"She did," I said, gesturing Mama to come around and look at the figure on the screen.

That was the first and only time in my life I've heard my mother curse; then she hit me across the back of my head. Hard.

"You _sold_ yourself?!"

"Mama – it wasn't like that," I pleaded, thankful now I'd not mentioned the sexual aspect of Galina's proposal. "I had to make her believe I was going to choose to be turned, and this was part of that. Also, I knew escaping was risky. If I _was_ turned Strigoi, I needed to know you'd all be taken care of! A Guardian's pension is _nothing_ – it wouldn't be enough to take care of you all! And babies aren't cheap!" I said gesturing to Sonya's belly.

"What if they come back for it?" she whispered, voicing my greatest fear.

"I don't think anyone will, Mama. I saw the mansion, and there was no escaping what happened there. And I told the garrison too. They knew about the mission and assured me they'd be sending every available Guardian in the area to make sure the place was burnt to the ground before nightfall."

I spoke confidently, but I was nervous. What if someone _had_ escaped? What if someone came looking for me, or the money?

"That horror is over," Yeva said looking up from her knitting. "No one is coming for the money. Or the car." She smiled happily. The SUV was modern and had all the extras. It was a huge step up from the dilapidated car we owned which had been ancient when I was a child. How Babushka even knew about the car was anyone's bet – in all the other news, no one had asked me how I'd got here!

"Should have taken the Ferrari," I grumbled under my breath.

"So how much money did she transfer?" Viktoria asked curiously, moving around to try and look at the screen.

"None of your business," Mama snapped, gesturing for me to close the browser. "It's your brother's!"

"Mama that wasn't the intention. I want to transfer it to you. It would be a huge weight off my mind…"

She looked at me guiltily. We never spoke about just how much they relied on the wage I sent, and while I never resented it, being able to discharge that responsibility would be a relief.

"We'll talk about it later," was all she said, but I knew I'd won the argument.

"So are we rich now?" Sonya asked, her eyes lighting up.

"No. There's not enough to go silly, but it will help if we get another large unexpected bill," Mama lied. I went along with it. We'd always lived frugally, and there'd be no changing that now. I knew I could rely on Mama to spend the money wisely but make sure everyone had the small luxuries such a significant amount could easily provide.

The family was talking around me, giving me updates on neighbors and friends. Karolina was quite upset when I told her about Yaroslav. She knew him from her year at St. Basil's and said he'd been a decent guy.

I looked at the clock and was staggered to see it was already 11 pm. It was probably too late there to call Roza now I thought sadly. I'd have to wait until the morning. I remembered when we'd spoken in the Church; she'd said she'd been emailing me. Maybe I should read her emails now to catch up on some of her news before we spoke?

I wasn't sure whether my St. Vladimir's web login would still work, but I gave it a go, and it did. There were hundreds of emails. Staff rosters, campus notices and the like. There was also about thirty e-mails from Roza. I searched and pulled them all up. The most recent was less than forty-eight hours old. I half-listened to the talk of my family around me as I opened the e-mail.

 _My darling Dimitri,_ _  
_ _You've been gone now five weeks, and still, I can't believe it. Somehow I thought were you really gone I'd feel it, but my heart refuses to believe even though my mind knows it's true. I got your letter, and it was beautiful, thank you. I could almost hear you reading it in my mind. I can remember you writing it at the hotel – how afterward you came back to bed, and we cried and held each other knowing it was our last night together._

I smiled. I'd wondered whether Alberta would pass on my letter to Rose. It had taken me a long time to write, and while it turns out it was precipitous, I'd meant what I said.

 _I rang your family on Tuesday to tell them about the baby. I'm sorry I didn't call them earlier. I guess I kept hoping you'd come back to be able to tell them our big news yourself, and once I knew you weren't coming home it was just one more thing I had to face that I put off. But I've done it now. I left a message on the answering machine and asked them to call me when they're ready to discuss, so hopefully they'll give me the benefit of the doubt and call me to give me a chance to explain._

Baby? What baby? I couldn't make sense so before jumping to conclusions I skimmed the rest of the e-mail.

 _…_ _still stuck on a girl's name. I had a shortlist of boys' names … I think you'd approve … not going to be able to give our baby the surname Belikov - even though I want to with all my heart … public knowledge that Junior was created by two Dhampir … if your family call …_ _Lissa is still not speaking to me … she's known about Junior for over a month now and hasn't once asked about him or her … eighteenth birthday in eight days … can find out if it's a boy or a girl at this scan … give you input even though you're not here … You're gone, and I should accept that, but I just can't … How much I still love you and how much I wish things had been different for you, me and our baby ..._ _I love you, Comrade._ _Roza_

My mind was reeling. If I was reading this correctly, Rose was emailing me, thinking I was deceased, but talking about being pregnant with our child. And according to this, my family knew. I looked around at the women surrounding me.

"So when were you planning to tell me my girlfriend is pregnant with my child?" I asked accusingly, taking in their facial expressions as the five women in my family looked at me.


	37. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 14

The size of Dimitri's bed meant when I woke up I was able to spread out properly for the first time in forever. Well - for the first time since I'd slept beside Dimitri at Missoula; although then I'd only wanted to stretch out towards him. Here in his bed, I could still smell him; his aftershave and his body scent were on the sheets and pillow, giving me the most peaceful, dreamless sleep I'd had since he'd left. The larger bed and the comfort of his smell weren't the only things that had made last night so relaxing. Like all Guardian rooms, Dimitri's had its own bathroom. While I knew the overnight toilet trips were going to get more frequent the further I progressed into my pregnancy, last night it had been delightful to wander nude from the bed to the bathroom and back again without having to get dressed.

I'd been sobbing when I'd come in last night, but just being surrounded by his things had helped. I'd stripped down and climbed into his bed, the cotton of his flannelette sheets soft again my skin. When I woke, it was early, and I was almost smiling. I felt refreshed, and it had been a long time since I'd woken up feeling that way. I'd needed Dimitri's comfort last night, and even gone he'd managed to calm me. I looked around his room. In some ways, I knew my Russian God so well, but in others, he was still a mystery to me. So knowing he was gone, and I'd be packing everything up soon enough, I flipped through his books. I didn't want to snoop, but I'd never understood his obsession with Westerns. But then I'd never read one.

I grabbed the most dog-eared tome from the box of things to return to Baia, curling back into the comfort of his bed and snuggling under the beautiful handmade quilt. Arranging his pillows against me, I could almost believe he was here beside me sleeping while I read. For the first twenty pages I was laughing to myself, but after that, I started to get into it. Westerns wouldn't be my first choice of reading material, but I could admit this one was diverting. As I read, I was getting sleepy. I must have drifted off because I woke sometime mid-morning Vampire time to see a worried Alberta and Stan standing beside the bed.

"Oh thank God!" she said, sitting beside me and stroking my forehead and hair. "We were knocking, and you didn't answer!"

"Sorry," I muttered blinking my eyes open properly, relieved that while my shoulders were bare, the covers were hiding everything else. "I just haven't been sleeping so well recently, but it's so restful here… I must have fallen asleep again."

Stan had his eyes averted.

"I'll leave since everything's ok," he muttered awkwardly.

I looked at Alberta after he went.

"Guardian Alto heard me banging on the door and came in with me in case you were in trouble."

"I'm ok. Thanks for letting me sleep here, Alberta. It helped me feel close to him," I said with a sad little smile. "I'm trying to say goodbye, I am. But it's hard when I don't want to."

"Maybe it would help if we organized the memorial for him?" she suggested, her hand still smoothing my hair. "We can do it however you want."

I nodded. I didn't want a memorial at all. I wanted Dimitri to be here with Junior and me, but Alberta was right. It had been two weeks since the public announcement had been made. It was time.

"Can we do it after my birthday? I want to get through that first."

"Of course. I'll talk with Father Andrews. Maybe just a simple service and then we could do tea and sandwiches afterward?"

"With lots of egg and lettuce ones. They were his favorite," I stipulated.

"Were they?" Alberta chuckled. "What an odd thing to notice."

I shrugged.

"I loved him, Alberta. I noticed everything."

* * *

"Pregnant? What do you mean pregnant?" Mama asked first.

"As in having a baby! That's what the term usually means," I snapped rudely, running my fingers through my still damp hair in agitation.

"Wow. Your girlfriend cheated on you while you were away. That sucks," Viktoria said. "She seemed so nice; I didn't think she would be like that."

"She's _not_ like that!" I bellowed furiously. "She states the baby is mine and I believe her. She said she rang here and left a message on the machine telling you about it. Why didn't anyone tell me?" I was beyond furious that my family could keep something so huge from me. It should have been the first thing they said to me when I walked through the door.

"Dimka, I never heard any message like that," Karolina said, trying to calm me.

"Neither did I," Mama added.

"I would have been at school," Viktoria quickly interjected, not wanting to be on the receiving end of my fury.

I looked at Sonya who flushed guiltily.

"Sonya?" I growled.

"There was a message earlier in the week. Rose said she'd fallen pregnant the weekend of your birthday. Claimed she wasn't asking for anything from us but wanted to let us know you'd ' _live on through your son or daughter.'_ " Sonya said the last part with a sneer. "She's clearly got herself in trouble and was trying to get her hands on your Guardian pension once she knew you were gone. So I erased the message," she said defiantly.

"How could you _do_ that, Sonya?" It was Mama, and she was shouting - which is something she very rarely did. "That's not a decision for you to make. My poor daughter-in-law probably thinks we don't care or we don't believe her!"

"I _don't_ believe her," Sonya spat back.

"I do," Babushka said decisively, looking up from her knitting.

"Then tell me, Babushka, how can two Dhampir conceive?" Sonya asked smugly.

"It can happen," Yeva replied, looking down to where she was setting the heel of a sock as she knitted. "If she's shadow-kissed."

My head snapped up.

"What do you know about being shadow-kissed?" I asked urgently looking at my grandmother.

"Not a lot," she said evasively. "You should ask Oksana – she and Mark are bonded. Like your Roza and the Princess."

"You knew she and Lissa are bonded? Did you know it was possible for Rose and I to have a child?" I groaned, putting my head in my hands.

"Not for sure until now," she said a little smugly.

"Babushka?! Do you have an idea how _serious_ this is? I've got my seventeen-year-old student pregnant, and she thinks I'm dead. Can you imagine what she's going through?! I have to get back to her immediately!"

Babushka nodded.

"Your Russian passport is in your chest of drawers. Don't call and wake the girl now – she needs her sleep. Growing a baby is a tiring business. Send one of those messages," she suggested making a pointing gesture at her hand.

I looked at her not comprehending.

"I think she means a text," Viktoria whispered helpfully.

"Good idea," I muttered. "Viktoria get online and book me the fastest flights to Missoula, Montana," I ordered. "I don't care how many times I have to change planes – just get me there as quickly as possible!"

"Dimitri?" Yeva said, looking at me seriously. "If you have any doubt, do not do this. That girl can read you, and if you show her any hesitation, it will destroy the most precious part of her love for you."

"I have no doubt," I told her, meaning every word. "I know Rose, and I know our love. She's the most faithful person I've ever met. If she says she's pregnant and the baby is mine, then that's how it is. I'm going to be a Papa!" I said wondrously as it started to sink in.

A baby! With Roza! She was very young - much younger than I would have liked her to be - but she would be an amazing mother, and I would support her. I'd do whatever it took to build us a little home where the three of us could share our lives together. I didn't need much - everything I wanted was waiting for me in Missoula. The woman I loved. The woman who was carrying my child.

Mama came and gave me a hug and a kiss. She was weeping again, but this time with happiness. Karolina squeezed my arm and offered her congratulations before passing me her mobile phone. I typed in the international dialing numbers, followed by the familiar digits of Rose's cell.

 _My darling Roza. I know this will be a shock, but I was captured and have escaped. I am at home in Baia and am texting from Karolina's phone but am arranging flights now to get to you as soon as possible. I've read your most recent e-mail about the baby, and I'm going to be there soon to show you how much I adore you both. I love you milaya, and our baby too. I can't wait to have you both in my arms. Your Comrade Dimitri_

I pressed send, a joyous smile on my face as I imagined Rose waking to see my message in the morning.

"How're the flights looking?" I asked Viktoria.

"You're not going to like me, but it looks like the fastest is going to be Omsk to Moscow, Moscow to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to Salt Lake City, Salt Lake City to Missoula."

"Ugh," I groaned. "How long?"

"If we can have you at the airport in Omsk for the early morning flight to Moscow, you'll be in Missoula in about twenty-four hours," she said apologetically.

"Dimka, you're exhausted. Stay a day or two and talk to Rose on the phone. She'll understand you need to rest before you can travel," Mama pleaded. I could tell she was disappointed at the idea of me leaving so soon.

"Mama, I can't," I said. "She's so sad, I can tell from her e-mail, and she's all alone. She said Lissa isn't talking to her. She needs me – and I need her," I admitted. "I promise I'll come visit soon. I'll bring her with me, but I need to be there for her now."

"Yes you do," Babushka said ending any discussion. "And Sonya, you need to apologize to your brother for your comments about Rose. You weren't to know Rose is shadow-kissed and could give your brother children," she held up her hand cutting off whatever Sonya had been about to say, "but when you're not in possession of all the facts you should reserve judgment and hold your tongue," she concluded fiercely.

"Sorry Dimka," Sonya mumbled.

"You'll understand when you meet her," I said irritably. "She's not a liar, and she _is_ shadow-kissed."

"What does that even mean?" Sonya asked.

"It means she died and was brought back from the dead. She passed away in a car accident when she was fifteen," I explained, trying to keep my patience. "The Princess Dragomir specializes in a rare magic called Spirit. It allowed her to bring Rose back to life. I'm betting it was the Spirit that made it possible for us to conceive?" I asked my grandmother.

Babushka nodded.

"The girl is filled with life, but she's sad. She needs the sunshine of your love."

The next hour was spent booking flights, finding the Russian passport I'd need to use since I'd be traveling on regular human flights, and packing a bag with a few necessities to keep me going until I got back to Missoula. My credit card was still paused, so Mama used hers to buy the tickets. It was past midnight when she came downstairs carrying a small bundle wrapped in a pillowcase.

"You have plenty of room in your bag, take these with you for Rose," she requested, handing it to me. I looked inside to see some hand-made baby clothes and a baby blanket. "Tell her I sent them and how very happy I am she's going to make me a grandmother again."

"Mama? Rose will probably want all new things for the baby," I objected.

"She'll want these," Mama maintained. "They were yours when you were a baby. I saved them for your child one day."

I took them and packed them into the mostly empty backpack I was taking. Then I connected Vika's laptop to the Internet again, and to our old printer so I could print out every one of Rose's emails. I'd read them on the way back to her, so I knew everything that had happened while I was gone.

At 1 am I climbed exhausted into bed. Karolina and I would be leaving at 3 am to drive to Omsk, so I could be on the 5.30 am flight to Moscow. I was asleep almost the moment my head hit the pillow, but it seemed like ten minutes later when Karo was shaking me awake.

"Sorry, Dimka. It's time to go."

The only thing that made me haul my weary body out of bed was knowing I was on my way to see Rose. The adults were all up to wish me farewell. I felt badly that I'd only been home just over eight hours and had spent a couple of those sleeping, but my family understood. I needed to get back to the mother of my child.

"Karolina? Wait in Omsk at the airport until it's light and drive back in the daytime," Mama ordered. Strigoi attacks on the road were rare, but they did happen, so it was prudent to wait for the protection of the sun. "Dimka, take Babushka's stakes, and Karolina can bring them back with her." There was no arguing with Mama, so I obediently took Yeva's stakes for the trip to the airport. It would take us just under two hours, and I could tell Karolina was looking forward to talking. Closest to me in age, Karo was probably also my closest sibling.

"Come on Dimka – let's see these new wheels," she laughed as I kissed everyone farewell and we went outside to the car.

"Woah!" she moaned in appreciation looking at the SUV. "Does the heating work?" she asked hopefully.

"Karo, not only does the heating work, it has heated _seats_!" I boasted.

"I'm driving," Karolina announced gleefully, grabbing the keys from my hand. "You're too tired to be safe." Any other time I'd object, but she was probably right, so I gave in. "What's that?" she asked, inclining her head to the knapsack on the back seat.

"It's a book with a list of those abducted or recruited by Galina's army," I explained. "It looks like all those killed or turned are listed in it. I thought if I escaped I'd give it to the Guardian Council so the families could get some peace."

"The not knowing is the hardest," she agreed thoughtfully. "Poor Mama was going out of her mind not knowing what was going on."

"I'm sorry."

"It's part of your job Dimka," she said supportively. "But you might need to rethink things with a baby on the way. Becoming a parent has a way of changing how you see things," she said sagely. "Also I wanted to talk to you about Rose. As you know, I was seventeen when I fell pregnant with Paul, and even with all the support I got from Mama and Babushka, I was still terrified. She's going to need a lot of reassurance. Make sure she knows you're happy about the baby, but also that you still love and want her for her. Everyone makes such a fuss about the baby you can start to feel like just an incubator."

I laughed remembering when Paul had arrived. As her first grandchild, Mama had been besotted, and even Babushka had a particularly soft spot for the lad.

"Oh. And make sure she knows you still find her desirable sexually. Don't assume she's just going to know. Your body changes a lot during pregnancy, and at such a young age it's easy to get self-conscious."

I was glad it was dark in the cabin because I was blushing furiously. I wasn't in the habit of discussing my sex life with my sister.

"Is it even safe to do that while she's pregnant?" I murmured in embarrassment.

Karolina laughed.

"Yeah, just follow her lead. You might find she wants it more or less than usual - she'll have a lot of hormones in her system. Also, don't comment on how big or small her baby bump is. If you say it's big, she'll worry she's fat, if you say it's small she'll worry there's something wrong. Just tell her she looks beautiful," she continued warming to her topic.

"Ok, shall do. Anything else I need to know?"

"Give her lots of love. She's probably going to be irrational and moody. She might be shouting at you one minute and in tears and needing cuddles and comforting the next."

I snorted. "She pretty feisty most of the time, anyway," I laughed.

"I know with a baby on the way you're kind of committed to her now, but are you sure she's the one? You can still support her with the child but not be with her in you're not certain she's the right one for you."

"Karo she's everything to me. I love her so much it's crazy. That weekend, when I introduced you all to her, was our first weekend together as a couple. I took her on our first proper date and to the movies and an ice hockey game, and it all felt so right. She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." I lowered my voice, nervous about saying it out loud but knowing Karolina would understand. "Even before I knew about the baby, I thought that if I managed to come back to her, I might propose."

Karolina squealed excitedly.

" _Really?!_ My little brother getting _married_?!"

"Well give me a chance to ask her, first," I said with a shy smile. "She might say no!"

"I'm sure she won't," she reassured me. "Hey? Does that mean you and she were first _together_ that weekend?"

"Yes," I admitted, thinking we'd moved beyond that aspect of the conversation.

"Dimitri Randallovich Belikov! Didn't anyone tell you it's poor form to knock a girl up on the first date?" she demanded, laughing when she looked across at my flabbergasted expression.


	38. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 15

The stewardess was giving me an appreciative look as I boarded, and I considered reciprocating to try to get an upgrade, but even smiling at another woman seemed like cheating on my milaya, so I trudged down to the middle of the aircraft, found my seat and stowed my single bag in the overhead locker. I was on the red eye Aeroflot service between Omsk and Moscow, so was surrounded mostly by business travelers, which suited me. No one was inclined to talk.

I'd scored a window seat, so I stretched out as well as I was able and watched Omsk disappear beneath us as we climbed into the sky. The flight took three and a half hours, so we'd be offered a hot breakfast. I was still tired, but also getting hungry, so I quickly glanced at the menu. It looks like they were serving;

Cold sliced chicken breast with  
Gouda and Cheddar cheeses, Chinese cabbage and cherry tomato,  
Cake with fruit filling,  
Butter, yogurt, jam, and a roll

Plus a choice of:

Omelet, ratatouille with vegetarian-style tomato sauce,  
Millet porridge with pumpkin, or  
Pancakes with cherries and cream sauce

The man beside me saw me studying the menu and advised, "If there's a choice left by the time they get this far down, you want anything except the porridge."

I laughed but thanked him. Being a Guardian and used to eating mass prepared food, I prided myself on my ability to eat just about anything. But that didn't mean I'd go out of my way to choose something unpleasant. I ended up with the pancakes, and they were ok. Not as large a serve as I'd usually eat, but humans didn't have the same sort of muscle mass I did, so they didn't need as much food.

Once I'd eaten, and my tray was cleared, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. The whole time I'd been away, I'd thought of Rose – but now I had something new to think about. The baby. _Our_ baby. She'd said in her e-mail she didn't know if it were a boy or a girl yet. When I thought about our child, I immediately imagined a little girl. With our colorings, she'd probably be dark haired and dark eyed. In my mind's eye, she looked just like a miniature Rose. I chuckled quietly, already imagining me wrapped around her little finger.

I knew myself, and there's no way I'd be able to prevent myself spoiling her rotten! I'd still discipline her, of course, and give her a solid foundation of values to build upon. But she'd always know her Papa loved her – that he'd do anything for her. Heaven help the guy who got my little girl pregnant at seventeen, I mused hypocritically. He'd want to start running _now_ because I'd catch up with him and there'd be hell to pay. For the first time, I think I was a little grateful Rose didn't know her father and barely had a mother. Not that I would do the wrong thing by her – I was back, and I was going to spend the rest of my life devoted to her and our child.

Thinking back to her e-mail I knew Lissa and Art knew about her pregnancy – so I was assuming Alberta, and the other Guardians did, too. She'd also mentioned no longer sparring with the other Novices, so perhaps they knew as well? I'm sure I'd find out once I read the stack of emails in my bag. There had been about thirty all up. Some quite short, others longer. I thought I'd wait to be settled on the long flight to Los Angeles before I read them in order.

My eyes closed, I also considered Karo's words to me. Particularly her comments about being sexual with Rose. I knew I had no right to expect it, but I hoped she'd still have some interest in being intimate with me when I returned home. Galina rubbing me through my pants was mercifully the furthest she'd gone, so it had been months since I'd had any relief. Not since that last time in Rose's dorm room. I'd take things into my own hand if Rose were unwilling, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't craving to reconnect with her in that way as soon as possible; not just for the physical relief – I was craving the intimacy with my girl.

I got a few hours sleep and woke as we were descending into Moscow. I'd passed through here on the way to Novosibirsk, but we'd used a private Moroi airstrip, not the Sheremetyevo International Airport. According to my schedule, I had a two-hour stopover here, so I thought I'd check in first and then find somewhere to eat. Mama and Karolina had given me all the money they'd on them, so I had cash to buy breakfast.

At the check-in gate, the woman asked if I was traveling alone.

"Yes. Just me."

"Is that your only baggage or have you bags checked through?"

"No – this is it," I answered perplexed.

"Your flight is overbooked, and as a single passenger with no bags, you're the most likely to be bumped. I can get you on an earlier flight if you'd like? It's leaving any minute?"

"That would be very welcome," I said, blessing her with my biggest smile. "I'm in a huge hurry to get home." She looked at me curiously. I was obviously Russian, so I suppose it was odd to hear a Russian man referring to America as home, but home is where the heart is - so right now mine was in Montana.

I ignored the grumbles of my stomach as I strode towards the boarding gate, arriving just as they were putting the last boarding call over the PA system. I ducked my head as I entered the cabin, showing my newly printed boarding pass to the attendant. I found my seat – the middle seat between two rotund passengers right at the back of the plane. This was going to be twelve hours of pain I thought to myself as I started to open my bag to retrieve Rose's e-mails.

"Sir? That doesn't look very comfortable. Why don't you follow me?" A middle-aged attendant suggested. I followed her back up the aisle, stopping at the 'Premium Economy' section. She gestured to a seat by the window. "Enjoy your flight."

Thanking her profusely, I stowed my bag not able to believe my good luck. The 'premium economy' seats weren't as large as business class, but it was a big step up from economy, especially in the legroom area. My e-mails in hand I took my seat, dutifully listened to the safety information, then looked out the window and said goodbye to my homeland. I always felt a little pang when I left my motherland. I'd promised Mama I would return soon, and I intended to. My few hours at home had not been enough, and I knew Mama wished I could have stayed longer. Plus I'd love to show Roza the delights of Russia. I knew she thought of it as an arctic wasteland, but I'd bring her in summer and show her how beautiful it was.

I could just imagine bringing our child here. I would teach them to speak Russian from the moment they were born so they'd be able to talk like a native. I must ask Mama if she could send some nursery rhyme books over. I should probably teach Rose Russian, too. She wouldn't like it if our little Princess and Papa could speak it and she couldn't!

Because of the time difference between Omsk and Moscow, we were still on the breakfast menu, so this time I had the omelet. It wasn't too bad, but I had to suppress a smile as the woman across the way from me complained when she tried the millet porridge. Accepting a cup of strong black coffee, and pulling my dog-eared photos of Rose from my duster, I tilted my printed sheets of paper so they could not be read by my seatmate, were they so inclined, and read her first e-mail.

 _Dear Comrade,  
It's midnight Saturday – four days exactly since you left. Everything's the same here, but in other ways so different. Celeste has started training with me, so I'm still working out twice every day. I'm grateful because the days are long without you here and it's hard to fill them._

 _We would be working out today, too, but Celeste is doing an extra shift so I've done my homework and then the washing. All your things are piled up ready to return to your room. I'll get Alberta to let me in so I can return them._

 _Eddie was the first to ask where you were, so the story of you visiting Baia is now out. No one's questioned it._

 _My qualifier is scheduled for three days before Christmas. I'm not sure who'll be going with me. I might ask if Celeste can go. She kind of knows about us, so it's easy to hang out with her. She doesn't ask why I keep bursting into tears! I'm nervous about meeting Arthur Schoenberg. Even retired the guy is a badass. I almost wish you didn't warn me as now I'm stressing about that, too._

 _I have been missing you like crazy. Falling asleep without you is hard. I get out our photos and look at how happy we were together. I wonder where you are and what you're doing. Are you missing me, too? Is it hard for you to sleep as well? I spend my nights wondering and worrying. More than anything I wish you were here._

 _I want you, Dimitri. I'm dragging myself through the days, but nothing seems to hold my interest anymore. All I want is you._

 _I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me,  
Your Roza_

I smiled, rubbing my fingers across her lips in the photo. I read it again and then again, trying to imagine her sitting in her dorm room typing her message of love to me. With a smile I placed the piece of paper at the back of my stack, reading her next e-mail. I'd read several more before I got to a lengthy e-mail about Tasha Ozera. When I'd spoken to Rose after her Qualifier, she'd told me Tasha had planned to go to St. Vlad's for Christmas, but I'd had no idea she'd had elaborate plans for a 'reunion' with me!

Things between Tasha and I had always been strictly platonic. I'd never even kissed her, and had no intention of doing so. Even if I had found her attractive, and I hadn't, the whole thing with Ivan would have been enough to put me off. They'd dated briefly; a week at the most. But she'd gone a little crazy when Ivan moved on. Mostly it was just drunken phone calls and turning up at his house unannounced, but there was an ugly incident when Tasha had attacked Lydia Voda when Ivan had taken her to the movies one night. Tatiana had ended up having to step in, 'suggesting' that St. Vladimir's would be a good place for Christian to complete his schooling and not so subtly hinting that Tasha should move to America to live closer to him while he was at school.

I hadn't heard from her after that until Ivan died. She'd reached out then, suggesting she come to Russia to help me with my grief, but I'd been too messed up to see anyone. Once I came to St. Vladimir's, we'd text every few months, or have the occasional phone call. I hadn't detected any romantic overtone to the calls, but looking back now yeah there might have been some hint of it on her behalf.

I mentally cursed myself. I, of all people, knew how crazy Tasha could get – yet I'd unwittingly left my pregnant girlfriend to deal with her on her own. I felt sick about Rose having to endure Tasha's delusions of a romance between she and I while also worrying about my safety. I couldn't wait to get back there and prove to Rose with words and deeds that she was the only woman I wanted.

I sighed, reading the next e-mail and then the one she'd sent me on Christmas morning. She was right. Our first Christmas together and I hadn't been there for her. Even though I'd had no choice in it, I still felt guilty, promising myself I'd make next Christmas sensational. We'd have a real tree, food and presents galore and I'd spend the whole day spoiling Roza like crazy. Roza and our baby, I realized. We'd be celebrating our baby's first Christmas, too! It still seemed surreal, but I was happy. I shuffled my papers, reading the next e-mail.

 _Dear Comrade,  
I want to start by telling you I love you. Because once you see what I'm about to write I doubt you'll read any further. So I love you. And I'm always going to love you. Even if you believe nothing else, know I adore you. With everything I am._

 _And it turns out everything I am is a little more than I thought. Last night Celeste made me do a pregnancy test (well three of them actually) and I'm expecting. I'd say 'we', but if I find it hard to believe that you and I made a baby together, I can't expect you to just accept my word for it._

 _But believe it or not, that's what's happened. I'm not sure how, but you were my first and have remained my only. So I know the baby is ours, even if no one else believes me. Even you._

 _I'm freaking out, Comrade. For all my talk of 'when Dimitri comes home' I understand the chances of that happening aren't great. And even if you do, what's the likelihood of you believing that somehow the impossible happened for us?_

 _Celeste said there're vitamins I need to be taking and things I need to know, so she's taking a Guardian car out this morning to get me what I need. I'm so grateful she's here because there's honestly no one else I can talk to, other than you._

 _I don't know what to do. I just looked up online, and if I use 12/4 as the date our miracle happened then I'm due the end of August. Maybe I can make it through to the end of May without people knowing so I can graduate? Not that I'll be able to guard with a newborn, but maybe I can take a few months off and then start work as soon as the baby is old enough to go to daycare? Do they even have daycare for babies?!_

 _I wish you were here. You're always so calm and in control, and I could use some of that right now. And I miss you, even more so now._

 _I love you, Comrade. And even though I'm terrified, I already love our little Christmas surprise, too. In some stupid way, it helps to know that I have a tiny piece of you with me. Something from us._

 _All my love,  
Your Roza_

I read and reread the e-mail. I felt her distress that I wouldn't believe her that it was _our_ baby. It's funny because from the second I'd read her e-mail at Mama's, not once did I question the baby she was carrying was mine. Like I'd said to Babushka – I knew Rose.

I kept reading, hearing about her molnija ceremony and how she was going with her training. Reading between the lines things weren't great with her, but she tried to keep things upbeat in her e-mails. I'd just accepted my second cup of coffee when I read the first email with an attachment.

 _Dear Comrade,_

 _I'm writing to you from hospital in Missoula, but don't worry – Junior is fine. Who's not going to be fine is Blake Aylett when I get back on campus! I was in Townsend's class Friday morning, and we were doing upper technique sparring when he grabbed my hands and intentionally kicked me in the abdomen. It hurt like a bitch, and I thought I was going to lose our baby, but Dr. Olendzki sent me to the human hospital in Missoula to get checked out, and we're both ok._

 _So Alberta and Dr. Olendzki now know about Junior and that you're the father. I hadn't planned to tell them about you, but they needed to know your medical history and blood group. I'm not sure Dr. Olendzki completely believes me, but I know Alberta does. Mason and Eddie also know I'm pregnant, but they don't know about you. Dr. Olendzki wants to keep Junior's paternity a secret in case people try and run tests on Junior and me. So other than Alberta, Celeste, Dr. Olendzki, and Lissa when I finally tell her, I won't be telling anyone else here that Junior is our baby._

 _I had the twelve-week scan a couple of hours ago, and it was cool. Everything is as it should be, although the doctor did say that Junior is going to be tall. I wonder where he or she gets that from? He recorded it on DVD for me, so when you get back, we can watch it together. They've also taken blood to test for a whole heap of things, but that's routine._

 _I have to remain in the hospital until Monday, and then if everything is still ok, I can go back to St. Vlad's. I'll have to stay in the infirmary there until Friday, and then I need to get back into things. The Moroi doctor I saw said I can only train for another eight weeks, so Alberta is going to try and move my training up and give me my combat exams early so I can graduate. Just as well you trained me so well, because I'm going to need every advantage I can get if I'm to pass._

 _While it was wonderful seeing Junior, and to know he or she is safe, it made me miss you even more. I would have given anything to have you here with me for our first look at our baby. I haven't heard any news about you since you were deployed. I'm hoping no news is good news, but I worry. It seems all I ever do is worry._

 _Now Alberta knows, I've been thinking about telling my mother and yours. I know my mother will take it badly, but I don't know about yours. I've been putting it off thinking it's something you should tell your family because they probably won't believe me. That's assuming you believe me._

 _Everything seems so much more real now I've seen Junior. I didn't ask, and I don't think I want to find out, but I think it's a boy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I like the idea of a little boy who looks just like his Daddy? Celeste bought a baby name book downstairs in the gift shop before, so I'm going to read through that later and see if I can get any ideas. I thought I'd make a list of names I like so we can talk about them when you get back._

 _I miss you, Comrade. I wish you were here. It's hard doing this alone, especially when I want to share every thought and moment with you. The doctor gave me some photos of Junior which I've attached. I hope when you see these you'll be as happy as I am._

 _I love you, Dimitri. I miss you, and I can't stop wondering where you are._

 _You need to come back to us because you're everything to Junior and me._

 _Always your loving  
Roza _

I wasn't aware of the tears on my cheeks until my seatmate asked if I was ok. I looked up at them in surprise, tearing my eyes away from the four little images on the page. The old printer at Baia had done them no justice, but I could still make out the unmistakable head, body, arms and legs of Junior. He or she was beautiful!

"I'm fine, thank you," I said giving them a radiant smile. "Just looking at ultrasound pictures of my baby. My girlfriend is pregnant," I said, a proud animated smile on my face.

"Your first child?"

I nodded.

"I'm very excited," I admitted.

The flight passed slowly. I read through the emails twice, fuming at some of them, smiling at others. There were going to be some scores to settle once I got home; that's for sure! Overall they raised more questions than they answered, but the constant theme of Rose's unchanged love for me was very welcome. I stopped for the lunch service;

Chicken breast with Parmesan cheese, croutons, and Cherry Tomato  
Рineapple сake  
Сheese spread, butter, roll, rye bread, Caesar mayonnaise sauce  
Beef stew with oyster sauce, served with buckwheat, green peas, and carrots

The beef stew was quite nice. Once I'd eaten, and the plate was cleared I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It was difficult, and I managed to doze, but real sleep eluded me. All I could think of was getting back to St. Vlad's. Eventually, we started the descent into Los Angeles, and I mentally prepared myself for several hours just sitting and waiting for my next flight.

I remained seated until almost the whole flight had exited the plane. Standing under the bulkhead comfortably was impossible for me, so I waited until I could step out into the clear aisle. I shouldered my bag, not forgetting to thank the stewardess who had changed me to the more comfy seat. On the concourse, I navigated my way to the StarWay desk. I explained I had a ticket to Missoula via Salt Lake City but had caught an earlier flight in from Moscow and was wanting to see if I could get on an earlier flight to get me to Missoula.

The young man helping me was anything but helpful, but after begging him to check he tapped away at the keyboard, huffing and puffing the entire time. I was doing my best to remain calm, so I let him do his thing. I turned around so I wouldn't explode at his exaggerated exasperation, and was surprised to see two Guardians standing beside me, addressing the next attendant.

"Special baggage pickup please," a deep voice said, handing over several baggage claim tickets. One of them looked at me and gave me a small acknowledging nod. I didn't know either of them, but they'd no doubt picked me as Dhampir and noticed my promise mark and molnija. I saw the attendant beside me hand over several stake boxes. I felt a small pang. Traveling without stakes, I felt half naked.

"I'm sorry, sir. There are no seats on an earlier flight or connecting flights to Missoula," the man helping me said.

"Can you try Billings? I'm sorry to be a pain, but I need to get to Montana as quickly as possible. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

The older of the two Guardians beside me turned.

"Pavel," he said stretching out his hand. "Whereabouts in Montana are you headed?"

"Belikov," I said, shaking his hand, "and St. Vladimir's," I said softly so the attendant couldn't hear me.

He nodded to the other man to check and sign for their belongings. He stepped to one side and used his phone, returning to me after a moment.

"We're headed to St. Vladimir's ourselves. My charge Abe Mazur said you're welcome to join us on our private plane since we're headed there anyway. We're about to leave now."

I grinned.

"Thank you so much, that would be wonderful!"

I knew the name. Hell – there wasn't a Dhampir in Europe who didn't know who Abe Mazur was. Zmey. But right now I'd accept a ride from the devil himself if it got me back to Rose quicker. I told the attendant he could stop looking for flights. I saw his speculative look at Pavel, the other Guardian and myself and could feel the corner of my lip twitching. No matter what explanation he'd concocted in his mind, it couldn't be as fantastic as the truth.

"So what finds you in a hurry to get to St. Vladimir's?" Pavel asked me, after introducing me to his companion Kirk.

"It's a long story, but basically a girl," I said with a grin.

"Isn't it always?" Pavel replied with a deep rich laugh and a knowing smile.


	39. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 16

Mr. Mazur and an additional five Guardians were waiting in a private lounge. As soon as Pavel, Kirk and I arrived, Pavel introduced me, and we stepped into a minibus to transport us to the chartered section of the airport. While Moroi might use commercial flights for overseas travel, within America or for short trips within Europe, they customarily flew in smaller private jets.

The aircraft was sumptuously appointed. Generous soft leather seats arranged in conversational groups, it was chalk and cheese compared to the commercial airline I'd been on earlier. I stood back waiting for Pavel to indicate where he'd like me to sit. Even on aircraft, Guardian groups tended to have a hierarchy, and I didn't want to inadvertently offend by seating myself somewhere inappropriate.

"Belikov? Please join Mr. Mazur and me," Pavel requested.

I sat in the seat he'd indicated, nodding respectfully to Mr. Mazur. An occasional visitor in Baia during my early teenage years, I knew him by sight, although he wouldn't recognize me.

"Thank you so much for your kindness," I acknowledged. "You've saved me four or five hours of waiting around plus two hours of driving." This flight was headed direct to the St. Vladimir's runway, so instead of getting there in twelve hours, I'd be arriving in three.

It was an unwritten rule in Moroi society that it was polite to offer a seat to any Guardian needing to travel. Not that it was entirely altruistic; any Guardian transported would obviously help in defense should an attack occur. Still – it was an uncommon stroke of good luck for me to run into another group from my world traveling to the same place at the same time.

"Not a problem," Mr. Mazur responded. "It was fortunate Pavel ran into you. We're headed there ourselves, and as you can see, we have plenty of room." The cabin was less than half full, but I still appreciated the gesture. "So what's your business at St. Vladimir's?" he inquired curiously.

"I was based there until December last year," I started, conscious of being a little circumspect in what I revealed. "I was reallocated on a mission which I've recently completed. All my stuff is at St. Vlad's, and a special girl is waiting for me there, too. I haven't seen her in months," I explained with a rueful grin.

A Guardian in a relationship was still a slightly shocking thing, although things were slowly changing. There were a few open Guardian/Guardian relationships, and _plenty_ more that weren't so open. As long as Moroi still came first, people tended to turn a blind eye. Sure some purists saw it as shameful, but overall Moroi society was becoming a little more tolerant. Zmey didn't strike me as the type to be offended by that sort of thing, but I was glad when he accepted it without comment.

"So you're returning to St. Vladimir's hoping for reallocation there?" Pavel asked.

"I'm not sure. When I left, I wasn't expected to return." I didn't need to say more. That was universal Guardian speak for 'sent on a mission not thought to be survivable.' "I've only got the clothes I'm wearing, so I need to restock, report to Court and see what they have in mind for me."

"So you're Russian?" Mr. Mazur said, adroitly changing the subject.

"Yes. I'm from Baia outside Omsk."

"Quaint little village. Belikov, eh? You wouldn't be Yeva's grandson would you?"

I looked at him a little alarmed. Did this man know _everyone?_

"Yes, that's right."

"Lovely woman your grandmother," he said casually. "Bakes the best cookies I've ever eaten. She's well?"

"Was when I left her yesterday, although I'm sure she'd find something to complain about," I joked.

"So you've been in Russia on a deadly mission. Wouldn't know anything about a Strigoi army stronghold outside Novosibirsk burning to the ground, would you?" he asked, watching me carefully.

"I know about a lot of things," I said with a shrug, refusing to be drawn further, but I could tell he knew exactly where I'd been and which mission I'd been referring to. I wasn't surprised – not much happened in Europe without Zmey knowing.

"So what rank are you?" he probed curiously. It was a question bordering on the rude. Asking a Guardian his level was essentially asking what they earned and how good they were at their job. But somehow from Zmey, it didn't come across as impolite, so I had no hesitation in answering.

"Blood master seven," I said matter of factly. The top of the top and anyone who heard my ranking knew it.

Mr. Mazur's eyebrows raised.

"You're very young to be a Blood Master. When did you attain your current rank?"

"When I was twenty-two. I'm twenty-five now."

"So. You were allocated at St. Vladimir's? Teaching?"

"No. I was the primary Guardian of Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."

"Ahh – the runaway Princess," Mr. Mazur grinned. "Were you on the recovery team?"

"Yes. I headed it up and brought her back in."

"A responsible job for a what, twenty-two year old?" he acknowledged. I inclined my head in subtle acquiescence. "Was she a handful?"

"Not really. Once we tracked them down, she was no trouble."

"They? That's right... She was with a Dhampir girl. A Novice."

"Her best friend, Rose Hathaway," I supplied. I smiled in spite of myself. Even speaking her name made me happy. I thought about my first meeting with my love. Not the most auspicious start, she'd called me 'cheap foreign labor.' But even then I'd admired her spirit.

"No relation to Janine Hathaway?" he asked.

"Her daughter."

"I heard she's a real firecracker," Pavel said jovially. "Led you guys a merry chase. Do you know her well?" Pavel asked.

I looked at him and smiled. "Yes, I do. I mentored her for a while."

I wanted to tell them that Rose was my girl, but I thought I'd better check with her first. While I knew how I felt and what I wanted, we'd only been together in our relationship for five days before I left, and I'd been away from her over half the time we'd known each other. While I'd promised to shout our love from the rooftops if I returned, I needed to make sure she still wanted me to. Not that her emails had seemed to leave any doubt about the matter.

After that, the conversation turned to more general matters. I didn't inquire about Zmey's business at St. Vladimir's, it being understood a Moroi's business was his own and that particularly being the case for Mr. Mazur. Instead, Pavel, Mazur and I talked sport, recent happenings at Court and other neutral topics.

As we transited, I watched the exchanges between Mazur, Pavel, and the other Guardians. There was still a hierarchy, of course, but it seemed much more egalitarian than the Guardian/Moroi interactions I was used to. I suppose that was the benefit of being a private Guardian; wages, conditions, and expectations were all negotiable and position specific. Generally, private Guardians earned at least double the usual Guardian salary, but it could be even more depending on the risk and hours involved. Some Guardians would take on a private assignment for a few years to set themselves up financially. Some would do short-term assignments between regular allocations, and others made a career of it.

Thinking about allocations, I looked out the window and thought about my future. Having impregnated my seventeen-year-old student, I couldn't see me being allocated back at St. Vladimir's, which meant I'd need to find a new allocation. With my rank, and once I told Court about the outcome of my mission, I'd hopefully be in a position to negotiate where I was sent, but it was going to be hard to find a role which also accommodated a girlfriend and a baby. I'd probably have to accept a Court guarding position, which came with its own challenges. Usually reserved as a punishment or for the least skilled, Court guarding compensated for lack of skill by sheer hours and numbers.

Considered low risk, Court shifts were a minimum of twelve hours long but could be as long as sixteen. I'd be eligible for Guardian housing at Court, but Rose and the baby couldn't stay there, so we'd have to rent privately – a notoriously expensive exercise in the Moroi capital. While I was prepared to take whatever job I needed to support my woman and our child, leaving her alone for sixteen hours a day with a new baby was asking for trouble.

For more than the first time, I considered returning with Rose to Russia. With Galina's money, there'd be no hurry for me to find work, and Rose would get all the help she needed from my family. But then I was conscious taking a very young mother overseas to a place where she couldn't speak the language and knew no one other than my family could have its own problems. At this stage, the priority was keeping Rose safe and happy and supporting her as best as I could as she became a mother. I pushed the thoughts aside for the time being. There was no point getting ahead of myself. First I needed to see my girl, get a decent night's sleep, and then have a long talk about what we were going to do.

We were two hours into our three-hour flight when one of the Guardians stood, walking through the cabin asking who else would like a meal.

"Help yourself," Pavel said to me, looking up from some paperwork he was reading. "There's plenty. I always order at least double because the human meals on the commercial flights are so tiny."

"That they are," I laughed. "Can I get you anything?" I asked respectfully as I stood to follow the other Guardians to the galley.

"Yeah grab me a couple of the Indian meals and a Coke, will you?" Pavel asked.

"Nothing for me," Mazur said looking up at me thoughtfully.

Our meals finished, after a little more conversation I returned the trays to the galley and then we started our descent to St. Vladimir's. It was about 7.30 am on Sunday local time, so we'd be arriving in the middle of dinner. Without a phone, I had no way of texting Rose to ask where to meet her, so I figured I'd start with the cafeteria and if she weren't there, I'd ask Alberta to page her over the PA.

My stomach was in nervous knots, now but I was grinning like an idiot. It had been so long, and I was so close to seeing my girl. Hopefully Rose had told Alberta and the others I was no longer MIA. Otherwise it might cause some consternation when I showed up! We were flying low over the top of campus, and I could see the buildings clearly. Somewhere in there was my woman!

We touched down smoothly, the jet coming to a halt at the far end of the runway before taxiing towards a parked minibus. The plane was stopped, and the stairs set out with a minimum of fuss. We quickly disembarked, walking towards the bus.

"There's no one to meet us?" Pavel asked suspiciously, his hand on his stake apprehensively.

"They usually just leave the bus when they're expecting an arrival," I explained. "The way is signed, but would you like me to drive since I know the way?"

"By all means," Mazur assented, climbing into the bus after Pavel had checked and cleared it.

All on board, I started the engine, the keys having been left in the ignition. I quickly drove along the familiar road, bypassing the majestic tree-lined main entrance in favor of a service road that was faster and would take us straight to administration.

"Are you expected at the Guardian building?"

"Yes, Guardian Petrov is expecting us," Pavel replied.

"Then I'll take you straight there," I said, trying not to speed in my excitement.

We pulled up in front of the correct building, and I forced myself to wait until Mazur and the team had climbed out of the bus.

"If you go through the front doors Alberta's office is third on the left. If she's not there head straight down to the end of the corridor across the commons and to the cafeteria – she might be having dinner."

"Thanks," Pavel said holding out his hand for me to shake. "I think there's a girl you want to see!" he laughed.

"There sure is!" I said with a huge grin shaking his hand. "Thank you again for helping me get here sooner," I said nodding to Mazur. And then I shouldered my bag and walked between two buildings in the direction of the commons and the cafeteria.

* * *

I looked up from my desk at the first knock. I didn't need introductions – I could see the resemblance to Rose immediately. If I'd had any lingering doubt about Rose's paternity that one look dispelled it.

"Mr. Mazur," I greeted, holding out my hand to him. "Thank you so much for coming. I hope you had a pleasant journey?"

"Very enjoyable, thank you, Alberta," he said politely. "And remember it's Abe. We ended up meeting one of your former Guardians at the airport in Los Angeles and bringing him with us."

"Former Guardian? Which one?" I queried. I wasn't expecting any of my previous Guardians to visit, but there were so many it was impossible to keep track of everyone.

"Belikov," the Guardian standing beside Abe said.

" _Belikov?_ " I hissed. "Dimitri Belikov? Massive tall guy? Russian?"

"Yes, that's him," Abe said looking at me, my reaction seeming to confirm something for him. If my reaction didn't then my next words certainly did.

"Abe? That's Rose's boyfriend. The father of her child. He's been missing for over a month now presumed turned."

* * *

I scanned the commons as I crossed but other than a few underclassmen and Moroi I didn't see anyone I knew. I could hear the cafeteria before I saw it, people talking and laughing. Being a Sunday night, everyone was relaxed and enjoying the traditional roast dinner the Academy served every week. Stepping through the main doors, I scanned the room, my eyes immediately finding their way to where Rose sat at her usual table. She had her back to me, but I could see her seated with Ashford, Castile, Chelsea and a couple of the other female Novices.

Meredith looked up and saw me first, bringing her hand up to her mouth in surprise as she squealed. I didn't have time to consider her reaction, because then Rose turned, her eyes meeting mine. The cafeteria fell almost silent, but from my periphery, I heard someone say sarcastically, "Well this should be interesting."

"Roza…" I groaned, looking at her beautiful face.

"Comrade?" she gasped in a strangled voice, standing up awkwardly from the bench seat where she'd been sitting. She was dressed in a baggy hoody and sweatpants, but even with that disguising her figure, I could see the tiny swell of our baby on her abdomen. I'd like to say she looked well, but she didn't. She looked like someone who was sick and tired of fighting.

Ashford stood beside her, looking at me as though he'd seen a ghost. He was reaching out towards her when I saw her eyes start to roll back in her head and her legs collapse beneath her.

"Roza!" I shouted in alarm, striding across the room towards her, but Ashford beat me to it, effortlessly catching her as she fell. He held her gently across his chest, one arm under her shoulders the other under her knees.

I dumped my bag on the floor beside the table.

"Good catch, Ashford," I acknowledged quietly. "Now hand her over."

For half a second he looked like he didn't want to, but something about my look must have told him I meant business. I sat on the bench seat, and he passed my beautiful woman's prostrate form to me. I sat her on my lap, carefully supporting her back and resting her body against my chest and her head against my shoulder. I gently smoothed her hair back from her face and slowly rocked her back and forth, waiting for her to come to.

I could feel her starting to stir, so I put my lips in her hair and talked to her quietly.

"I'm here, milaya. I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you. You _and_ our baby. I love you both so much. I'm sorry it took so long to get to you, but I'm here now, Roza."

I felt her burying her face against my chest as she started to cry.

"Roza?" I coaxed, tightening my grasp around her as she started making little whimpering noises. "Milaya, talk to me. Are you alright?"

She didn't answer, other than shifting slightly on my lap, pulling herself closer to me and clasping my shirt in her hand. Her eyes were still closed, but her tears were coming thick and fast. I'm not sure what sort of reaction I'd hoped for, but this hadn't been it.

"Are you really here?" she asked so softly that even close as I was, I almost missed it.

"I am milaya," I promised solemnly, leaning back slightly so I could peer at where her face was wetting my shirt.

"You're not going to disappear if I open my eyes?" she asked a little louder.

I smiled tenderly.

"No Roza. I'm here, and I'm here to stay," I promised her lovingly.

She opened her eyes and looked at me, her eyes still swimming with tears.

"Why didn't you tell me you were safe?" she asked, sounding broken.

I looked at her aghast.

"I texted you, milaya. It was the middle of the night, and I didn't want to wake you, so I texted you that I was in Russia and trying to get back to you as quickly as possible. I've been on a plane most of the last twenty-four hours."

"I heard your mission was in Russia," she acknowledged, still looking stunned to see me.

"I was with my family. I was captured by Strigoi and escaped. I drove to my family's house and was there a few hours, waiting for it to be a decent hour so I could call you. While I was waiting, I read your most recent e-mail and found out about the baby and knew I had to get back here straight away. I texted you to let you know I was on my way, and I've been traveling ever since."

"You know about Junior?"

"Yes," I said with a soft smile. "I read all your e-mails on the plane."

"And?" she asked apprehensively.

"And I'm going to be a Papa," I said with joy. "We're going to be a family!"

That's when my woman blessed me with an angelic smile.

"Yes we are," she murmured, pulling back slightly and wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning forward to kiss me. Soft, gentle kisses at first, she was half laughing half crying, murmuring her own words of love against my lips as we gave each other the tender affection we'd both missed so much. I deepened the kiss, feeling her gasp with satisfaction. I wanted to crush her against me, but remembered I had to be gentle. Finally, I pulled away from her, holding her face in my hands and leaning my forehead against hers.

"I love you, Roza."

"I love you too, Comrade," she whispered with a smile.

I was slowly becoming aware that we were the center of attention of the packed cafeteria, when I heard boots run into the room. I looked up to see a startled Alberta looking at where Rose was perched affectionately on my lap.

"Belikov!" she said in surprise. "I'd heard you were dead?"

I looked at her and laughed.

"Yeah. I've been getting a lot of that lately," I said giving her a wry smile.


	40. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 17

"Right. Well. Can I see you in my office now?" Alberta replied in a cool tone of voice, "you too, Hathaway."

I gave Dimitri an apologetic look.

"I think we're in trouble, Comrade!" I whispered.

"I think you're right," he laughed, defiantly wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning up to kiss me as I stood in front of where he was still seated. Standing up and grabbing his bag, he took my hand in his, and we followed Alberta from the cafeteria. At the Guardian table in the corner, I could see Celeste grinning like a loon, talking animatedly to a kindly looking Alto.

I walked the whole way to Alberta's office almost in a dream. I kept looking up at Dimitri in disbelief. He was here! After all my wishing and wanting he was here with me!

Alberta was looking far from happy, but I was prepared to listen to any amount of scolding with my man by my side. As soon as her office door closed, though, Alberta turned to us grinning.

"Dimitri – it's wonderful to have you back," she said, reaching across and hugging him. "But I wish you two hadn't put on a show for the whole cafeteria to see. I can't be seen to know and approve of a relationship between a Guardian and a student," she sighed wearily but still with a smile. "Take a seat."

Dimitri sat on the sofa, opening his arms for me to sit in his embrace. I lowered myself beside him, nuzzling against his chest and looking up at him shyly. His arms closed around me, and we both smiled in satisfaction.

"So what do you know about what's gone on while you're away?" she asked Dimitri warily.

"I know about our baby if that's what you're asking," he said, leaning forward and kissing me again. "And while I know the timing isn't great, I'm still over the moon," he said looking at me tenderly. We smiled at one another making quiet promises to one another with our eyes. Together we would make this work.

"So tell me everything you can," Alberta said.

"I'll be brief," he said, "I've only had a few hours sleep in the last three days, and I'm exhausted. Also, most of this needs to stay confidential – I haven't even reported to Court yet. I was based in Novosibirsk, Russia. I was in a cell of six from just after Christmas. On February 10 our cell was attacked, and the Strigoi army took another Guardian and me. The other four from our cell were killed. When I got to the army stronghold at an old manor house outside Novosibirsk, I knew the head of their army. It was a former teacher of mine from St. Basil's. She gave me a choice – be turned or be killed. There was a big meeting of her army scheduled for yesterday and the day before, and I was to be awakened then in a ceremony. But I blew up part of the manor and set the rest on fire during daylight. I believe I killed all the Strigoi inside."

"How many?" I gasped, looking at my man in shock.

"I couldn't say exactly, but around a thousand."

"You killed a _thousand_ Strigoi?!" I blurted out.

"You told me to do whatever it took to make it back to you," he said, trying to look playful but just looking tired. "I took one of their cars and drove the six hours to my family's house in Baia. By the time I got there, and everyone stopped freaking out that I was alive, it was the middle of the night, and I didn't want to wake you. I checked my e-mails, and got your most recent one and found out about the baby. It turns out Sonya deleted your message from the machine, so no one else had heard it. Mama is _furious_ with her, by the way, and asked me to tell you how thrilled she is. She's sent me with some baby clothes she thought you might like. They were mine when I was a baby, and she kept them in case I was a Papa one day," he admitted sheepishly.

I looked at him and started getting teary again. Damned hormones! I _loved_ the idea of Junior wearing Dimitri's baby clothes and was happy to hear it sounded as though Olena believed me about it being Dimitri's child.

"As soon as I knew about the baby, I knew I had to get here as quickly as possible, so I got on the first flights I could. I printed all your emails before I left and read them on the plane. I texted you from Karolina's phone to tell you I was ok and on my way back."

"Lissa cut off my cell, so I never got it," I explained. "Boy did I get a shock when you walked into the cafeteria!"

Alberta was listening to us talk with a smile on her face.

"So what now?" she asked Dimitri.

"Well I know I'm no longer allocated here, but I was hoping I could stay for a few days in my old room while I recover and organize myself? Rose and I have a lot we need to talk about. I suspect I'll have to go to Court to report about Russia and depending on what Rose and I decide I'll probably put in for reallocation then."

"Court?" I gasped starting to freak out. "Reallocation? Comrade, I've had you back less than _half an hour_ , you can't talk about leaving me again already!"

"Shh milaya. We'll work it out," he promised, tightening his grip on me. "No one's leaving anyone."

"I can give you a week, maybe a little more," Alberta said. "I'll probably need to give you shifts to stop any complaining, though," she said apologetically.

"Give me ward duties," he suggested. The least popular of all Guardian tasks, ward duties were exactly as they sounded; walking along the wards at the edge of campus checking all was well. They were boring as hell. "Perhaps Rose could come with me instead of her morning combat classes? It would give us an opportunity to talk privately," he suggested.

"That's a great idea. You two have a lot you need to work out," Alberta said. "That ok with you, Rose?"

It sounded like bliss to me, and I said so. Dimitri was yawning and rubbing his eyes. He looked completely wrecked.

"Comrade, I think you need a shower and a good night's sleep," I suggested lovingly.

"Do you have a key to my old room?" he asked Alberta.

"I do," she said rummaging in her drawer and pulling out a keyring with his keys on it. "Rose – you, of course, will sleep in your dorm room tonight. Not that I'll be checking – and neither will anyone else unless they have _reason_ to," she said, looking suspiciously innocent. Message received – be discreet.

"Belikov, take tomorrow off to organize yourself. You might like to take a day off classes, too, Rose" she suggested. "I have something else I need to go through with you tomorrow, so shall we say here at 5 am?"

We agreed, and then it was time to take my tired man to bed.

"Would you like to sleep alone tonight?" I asked him shyly once we were outside Alberta's office. I knew he was exhausted so I shouldn't assume he'd want to share his bed.

"No milaya," he said shaking his head. "I'd like you beside me. I've been waiting months to hold you again. Do you need anything from your room?" I shook my head. "Then come to bed with me Roza?" he asked, giving me a tired winsome smile.

"Yep," I said smiling back, and we held hands as we climbed the stairs to the Guardian quarters.

We slipped into his room together unseen. I'd smoothed the covers after I'd slept there the other night, so it looked just as it had when he'd left. The blackout blinds were shut, so it was dark.

"Let's open the windows and air it out while we shower," he suggested.

Shower? With Dimitri?! Vlad! That meant he'd see my body. All of a sudden I was feeling shy. We'd had next to no time together as lovers before he left, and now he'd be seeing me all fat and ugly. I was starting to stress about it, but as usual, Dimitri could read my mind.

"Don't be shy, milaya. I know your body has changed. Please don't hide from me - let me be a part of this?" He looked so earnest, how could I deny him?

He fiddled with the window, opening it to allow the room to air while I slowly got unchanged. Usually, I'd dump my clothes wherever they fell, but with Dimitri's room being so pristine, I neatly folded them on his dresser. I had my top off and was reaching behind me to unclasp my bra when my hands found Dimitri's. Standing behind me, he unsnapped the clasp, and I sighed in satisfaction as my full heavy breasts were freed from their cruel enclosure. Slipping the straps from my shoulders, he folded my bra and put it on top of my shirt before using his massive hands to spin me to face him. His soulful brown orbs dropped to my chest, and there was no faking the look of surprise and admiration as his eyes took in my larger breasts.

"So beautiful," he whispered, reaching one of his hands out to stroke one of my twin globes. His long fingers traced the angry red line down the outer edge of my breast where the underwire had been digging in. "Milaya? This bra is too small for you – you need a different one."

"I know," I muttered. "But it's the biggest one I've got."

"Why haven't you ordered something?" He knew that most Novices bought what they needed online as they rarely got the chance to go off campus to visit real shops.

"I don't have a lot of money, so I was saving it for things I'd need for the baby," I muttered. Dimitri flinched, closing his eyes and grumbling under his breath in Russian before he pulled me against his hard, muscular chest.

"Milaya, I'll need to go to Missoula to reinstate my credit card and organize some things at the bank. I'll ask Alberta if you can come too, and we're going to go shopping. I had to leave some of my things behind when I left the manor, so they need replacing, and you need maternity wear. We should pick up some things for the baby, too."

My heart swelled so much I thought it would pop out of my chest. I loved the idea of my Russian God and me shopping together for things for our baby. I nodded happily, shimmying beneath his hands where they rested on my hips I lowered my sweats and panties, so I was standing naked before my man. I watched as his eyes slowly dropped down my body to rest upon the curve of my abdomen. He let out the softest sigh before falling to his knees in front of me, looking up at me imploringly.

I smiled and nodded, snaking my fingers through his hair as he gently kissed my stomach, touching the gentle swell of my baby bump reverently. He was having a conversation with my bump in Russian, and I could see his eyes were welling with tears.

"What are you saying?" I asked him.

"I'm introducing myself to our baby," he said bashfully. "I told it that I'm it's Papa and that I love him or her so much and that I can't wait to meet them."

"Papa not Daddy?" I asked, loving this tender side of my man.

"Definitely Papa," he said with a huge smile. "What about you? Mommy? Mom? Mama?"

"I haven't thought about it," I admitted. "Now come on you, you're wearing too many clothes for my liking, and if you don't get up you're going to fall asleep with your head on my tummy!"

He stood and together we walked into the bathroom, me starting the shower and climbing in while he grabbed a spare razor and quickly shaved before stepping in beside me. It was a quick shower; both of us were tired and wanted to go to bed. We stood side by side and brushed our teeth – neither of us had a toothbrush, so we laughed watching each other do our best using our index fingers. A quick rinse and a minty kiss and the two of us approached the bed. Dimitri closed the window and the blinds, turning to see me waiting beside the bed.

"Which side do you want, Comrade?" I asked him.

He stopped to think. I guess this was going to be the first time he'd shared this bed.

"I'll take the side closer to the door," he said, pulling back the covers for us.

By unspoken agreement, neither of us had put on sleepwear. I could have snagged one of his Tshirts had I wanted to, but I'd prefer nothing between us tonight, and by the looks of it, he felt the same way. The overnight temperatures would still be below freezing, but the quilt was thick, and I knew I could rely on my Russian God to keep me warm.

He climbed in first, opening his arms to me. I pulled myself firmly against him, and we sighed in contentment as our bodies met. We lay facing one another, me using his strong manly arm as a pillow. He closed his arm around me, and I draped an arm across his hips, my fingers splayed across the top of his thigh. Our legs were tangled, and I was relishing the feeling of his hairy leg against my smooth one.

"This feels perfect," he murmured, nuzzling my hair as I leaned forward to kiss his bare chest.

"It does," I replied lovingly, closing my eyes and falling into the most blissful sleep I'd had in months.

* * *

I woke up, rolling lightly away from my man and padding silently across his room to use the bathroom. I slipped back into bed, noticing how his arms automatically closed around me, a little smile blessing his lips. I watched him sleep for a while, still hardly able to believe he'd found his way back to me.

I'd fallen back to sleep and when I woke it was a very different scenario. I was lying on my side, my back pressed against Dimitri's chest. His huge rough hands were gliding across my skin, his mouth at the back of my neck kissing my three molnija before his fevered lips moved to just behind my ear, nipping me deliciously. One hand found my breasts, and I couldn't prevent a gentle moan as he caressed me there.

Smiling, I turned to bring my lips to his, noticing the unmistakable feeling of his manhood pressing against the juncture of my thighs. I wiggled against him, letting him know I knew he was aroused. Joined at the lips, he slipped his tongue into my mouth, stroking it against mine. One hand still at my breasts he was toying with my nipples; alternating between each puckered nub, lightly squeezing and rolling them between his sensuous fingers.

I groaned into his mouth, rocking my hips against his hardness. It had been so long, and I was so ready for this! I'd been apprehensive that maybe he wouldn't want to have sex with me while I was pregnant, but that worry looked as though it were baseless. Dimitri's hand left my breasts, and he ran his fingertips down my body to between my legs, surprised to find me ready for him. Tearing his mouth from mine, he growled, "I want you so much, Roza."

"I want you too," I gasped, returning my mouth to his as he positioned his member at the lips of my arousal. Closing his eyes, he pushed into me, both of us groaning elatedly as we were finally one again. "Shh Comrade, we have to keep it down," I warned, biting my lower lip to stifle my excited mewling. I'd almost forgotten how big he was and how _good_ he made me feel.

One hand on my hip, my Russian Love God pulled me firmly against him, holding me in place as he eased his hardness in and out of my wet channel. I lifted my leg and put it over his, opening myself so he could reach between my legs to stimulate me further. It had only been a couple of minutes, and I was already panting with excitement, so close to letting go.

"Harder," I whispered. "You're not going to hurt us."

He smiled and obliged, picking up the pace of his fingers and the pistoning of his hips. Our mouths joined, I dug my fingernails into his butt pulling him closer to me. I could feel my nether regions tighten – I was so damned near when Dimitri pulled his lips from mine.

"Fuck, you feel good," he gasped, and it was my undoing. Something about Dimitri swearing was so naughty, but oh so sexy! Biting on my own hand to muffle my noises of ecstasy I came hard, my womanly folds pulsing against him. I was thrashing my head trying to stop myself from screaming the place down. _Never_ had an orgasm felt this good!

"Oh God, milaya," he moaned, letting his head fall against my neck and making the sexiest little growls ever as he let himself go. We were both panting as the aftershocks of our lovemaking abated. Pulling himself from me, he rolled me over, carefully embracing me.

"Comrade you outdid yourself," I murmured, feeling the proof of his excitement on my inner thighs. "That was mind-blowing!"

He gave me a playful laugh.

"Well I'm happy to have been of service," he chuckled. "I'm sorry it wasn't as long as usual, but it's been three and a half months since I've had any sort of release."

"Poor baby…" I cooed, stroking his face lovingly.

"Well I guess it's been that for you, too…" he mused, raising an eyebrow when I looked a little guilty. "No?"

"No… Between nine and twelve weeks I had a few very _realistic_ dreams," I explained. "A couple of times I woke up cumming…"

"Realistic, eh? What were you dreaming?" he teased.

"Well all along the lines of a few minutes ago," I said giving him my naughtiest grin.

"I see. A man is away, fighting for his life and his girlfriend is having hot sexy dreams?!" he said, feigning offense.

"Well if it helps, they were all about you," I reassured him playfully.

"It helps," he said with a smile. "Now how about we get cleaned up and go for lunch?"

"Lunch?" I said looking at the clock, but he was right – it was nearly half-past eleven. We'd slept very late.

We showered and dressed quickly, Dimitri suggesting we go to my dorm room so I could get into different clothes. As lessons were in session, we got to my room unobserved. I let him in and saw him take in my wall of Dimitri.

"It helped sleeping if I could look at you," I said defensively.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the end of my nose.

"I looked at your photos every day," he replied, pulling his handful of pictures of me from his duster. They were dog-eared. Well loved. Just like me.

"Put on something pretty, milaya. I want to celebrate today."

Pretty? Nothing _pretty_ fitted I thought to myself. I opened my wardrobe, and my eyes fell on the maxi-dress I'd promised to lend Chelsea the day I ended up in hospital thanks to Blake. It was empire line and quite feminine. I teamed it with a cardigan. Looking at myself in the mirror, I marveled what a good night's sleep and some loving from my man could do. Yesterday I'd seemed half dead; today I might even have a bit of that pregnancy glow. Or if not, at least an 'I just had a wicked orgasm' glow!

I left my hair out, fastening it at the back loosely with a barrette. Putting some of my favorite lip gloss on I added mascara and even a little eyeliner. While my baby bump was more noticeable in this outfit, I didn't care.

"You look beautiful, milaya," Dimitri said looking away from the photos of Junior on my wall.

"Thank you, Comrade," I said picking up a timber box from my bedside and passing it to him. "Your stakes. They found them where your cell was based, and they brought them back to me."

"I've felt naked without them!" he confessed, removing them from the case and sheathing them in the custom pouch in his casual jeans and duster. He also grabbed the cell battery from where he'd slipped it into his pocket and placed it in the back of his phone. "I should quickly text Mama and Karolina to let them know I made it," he explained. Switching the phone on it pinged and pinged for two or three minutes. Hundreds and hundreds of missed phone calls and a large number of voicemail messages, too.

"Some of those missed calls will be mine," I said guiltily. "I used to ring your voicemail to hear your voice," I admitted.

He looked at the phone.

"Even more of them are Tasha's," he groaned. "The most recent being two minutes ago."

I sighed. Stupid bitch obviously knew he was alive then. He tapped a quick message and sent it to Olena and Karolina and then took my hand.

"Let's go eat, Roza. I'm starving!"


	41. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 18

"Where do you want to sit milaya?"

It was awkward. If we sat with at my usual table, then it shunned Dimitri's Guardian colleagues, but if we sat with the Guardians, it ignored my friends. Most groups had 'their' tables, but there were a few that were mostly unclaimed, so we went to sit at one of those almost directly between my usual table and his. It was like I'd observed with Eddie and Chelsea – when a couple was serious they sat at lunch together. We were fortunate we'd arrived a few minutes before the end of the fourth period, so we could seat ourselves before the hoards descended. Dimitri got two trays and chose food for both of us. It wasn't hard – the Academy had a certain number of dishes it served in rotation, and he knew which I preferred.

He came to sit next to me, and I stole a kiss while the cafeteria was deserted.

"Do you think everyone's going to know what you did to me this morning?" I whispered saucily, my chest tightening as I thought about our lovemaking again.

"After the way we attacked each other yesterday, I think they might have an idea," he chuckled. "Now remember, Alberta wants us to try and keep our hands off one another in public."

"Easy for her to say," I grumbled. "So what do you need to do this afternoon?" I started picking at the spaghetti bolognese, wondering if I could con Dimitri into getting me ice cream with chocolate sauce for dessert if I claimed it was a craving.

"I need to ring Guardian Headquarters at Court to check in. They'll probably want me to go to Court, Roza. What happened in Russia was big. When I left, I took a list of Guardians and Moroi killed by the army. Those families deserve to know what happened to their loved ones."

Rationally I knew he was right, but I wasn't ready to let go of him yet. I didn't want to guilt him, but it frightened me.

"Do you think they'd let me go too? I'll be eighteen on Saturday… we could make it a trip for my birthday," I suggested hopefully.

"I can ask Alberta," he said, not sounding particularly hopeful.

"Do I even need permission to leave campus once I'm eighteen?" I asked. "I can just sign myself out, can't I?"

"You can," Dimitri said, "But with the pregnancy and everything else, Headmistress Kirova may well not take you back."

"Is that such a bad thing? It's not like I'm going to guard Lissa – do I even need to graduate?"

"Yes, you need to graduate, milaya. That is _not negotiable_. It also gives me time to get another allocation and a proper home for you and the baby. We can't stay here forever, so we need to work out what next."

"Do you have any ideas?" I asked, not missing his worried look.

"I do, but none of them are great," he sighed. I was going to ask more when the bell went, and the cafeteria started to fill with people. We began eating our lunch, my stomach fluttering a little with nerves. This was kind of our couple coming out. Dimitri, as usual, looked supremely unconcerned, but then he shot me a loving look, and I knew he was feeling it a bit, too.

"D!" Celeste greeted enthusiastically, dropping down to sit next to him. "It's good to see you, you big lug," she said bumping him with her shoulder before accepting a one-armed hug from my man.

"I'm really happy for you both," she said with a huge grin. "And congrats, man," she said with a meaningful look at me.

"Thanks, Celeste," he said in his rich accented voice. "For everything. Rose has told me about how supportive you've been, especially with the baby. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you guiding her through everything."

Dimitri didn't notice it, but I saw Celeste tense a little, her eyes flicking to meet mine. I very subtly shook my head, letting her know I hadn't betrayed her secret. Dimitri wasn't going to hear about Stella's parentage from me.

"Hey, not going to faint on us again are you?" Mason teased, coming around to sit opposite us. "Not that I mind you throwing yourself into my arms, but I think the big guy here might have an issue with it," he joked a little awkwardly.

"Nah – I think you're safe, Duckie," I said, seeing him flush at my old pet name for him.

"It's good to see you back Guardian Belikov," Mason continued. "You might have noticed someone _really_ missed you!"

"I missed her, too," he said giving me a particularly loving look.

Dimitri's phone was vibrating for the umpteenth time since we'd sat down. Pulling it out of his pocket, Dimitri checked the caller ID, sighed and put it down on the table.

"Again?" I asked.

He nodded. Tasha had been calling him every few minutes. I shook my head in irritation, but refused to let her intrusion upset me. This was a special day for Dimitri and I. Eddie and Chelsea joined us shyly, sitting beside Mason on the opposite side of the table.

"Surprised to see you, Belikov. It seems like reports of your death were a little exaggerated!" Eddie joked.

"After twenty-four hours on a plane I almost felt dead," Dimitri replied jovially.

"He texted me to let me know he was ok and on his way, but because Lissa cut off my phone I didn't get the message," I explained.

"It was very romantic when you fainted, Rose," Chelsea said sweetly. "And I thought you were going to punch Mason if he didn't pass Rose to you, Guardian Belikov."

" _I_ thought he was going to punch me," Mason said, only half joking.

I rolled my eyes, putting my hand on top of Dimitri's and stroking it lightly. It was only a little gesture, but I could see everyone looking at it in surprise. It was going to take even my friends a while to get used to us being together.

"So are you back at St. Vladimir's to stay Guardian Belikov?" Chelsea asked innocently.

"We're not sure what's happening, yet, Chelsea," I answered for him. "Dimitri has to check in with Guardian Headquarters to figure out what next." Chelsea missed the subtext of what I was saying, but Eddie and Mason didn't. They knew the future was still up in the air for the two of us.

As we were eating, Guardians came over one by one to welcome Dimitri back. Guardian Alto was surprisingly enthusiastic in his greeting, giving my Russian God a one-armed hug come back slap, and even offering his congratulations on the 'special news.' I'm not sure who was more stunned – Dimitri or me.

Meredith and Angela joined our table, and so did Emil; although true to form he didn't actually say anything, although he did shake Dimitri's hand and gave him a nod. We must have looked a motley crew, but it was comfortable. The lunch hour was drawing to a close when I felt Lissa approach me from behind. It would have been difficult to miss – tension was pouring through the bond. I turned to her before she said anything, looking at her levelly, not acknowledging Christian where he stood beside her.

"Rose," she acknowledged, her steady voice belying the erratic feelings I could sense through the bond. "Guardian Belikov," she continued, almost flinching under Dimitri's emotionless gaze. "We're both so pleased to see you safely returned. I was wondering whether you had any free time this afternoon for a discussion?"

I looked at Dimitri who met my eyes. To anyone else it would appear as though we were just glancing at one another but as usual, we seemed to know what the other was thinking. He was saying it was up to me, but we might as well get it over and done with. I was telling him I wasn't feeling particularly forgiving, but I'd give them a chance.

"Yes, Rose and I have an hour free after lunch," Dimitri replied. He wasn't cold, but he wasn't friendly either.

"We just need to speak to _you_ Belikov," Christian said none too politely.

"That might be so, but I _also_ have things to say. Things which Rose should hear," Dimitri said leaving no room for argument.

"Right then shall we say my dorm room at one fifteen then?" I directed with a nod, turning back around, cuddling slightly against Dimitri as he draped his arm around me and starting a conversation with Meredith. I suppressed a giggle as I felt through the bond Lissa realize she didn't know where my dorm room was. I waited until a little later when I felt Lissa leave to go to the feeders before standing up with Dimitri to head to my room.

* * *

I hadn't slept a wink last night. From the moment Guardian Belikov had walked into the cafeteria and held Rose when she fainted, I knew what she'd said to me about them being together was true. The way he looked at her all but screamed his feelings, and despite being her best friend for fourteen years, I'd never seen her look at _anyone_ the way she looked at him. There was so much love, trust, and adoration. Rose, who let her defenses down for no one, was completely open to him.

Looking back, now, I could start to see it. How withdrawn she'd been. How lost she'd seemed, even before Christmas. Even the day they'd told us about Guardian Belikov being reassigned, I could now see she already knew. And if she was telling the truth about their relationship, it followed she was probably telling the truth about him being the father of her baby, too. I don't know how two Dhampirs had achieved it, but it seemed likely Guardian Belikov had been the one to get Rose pregnant. Eddie seemed to believe it, and he wasn't easily fooled.

I tried to remember what Rose had said the day she'd told me she was pregnant. She'd said she and Guardian Belikov had gone away together. I could recall some training thing about that time. She'd been gone for the better part of a week. I suppose that's when it happened?

What I couldn't figure out is how Tasha fitted into all this. Maybe Guardian Belikov had moved on and just not told her? By Tasha's own account, it had been a long time since they'd seen one another face to face. But Guardian Belikov didn't seem that sort to mislead a woman. But then I wouldn't have picked him as the sort to fool around with a seventeen-year-old student, either.

Christian had been on the phone to Tasha almost before Rose and Guardian Belikov had left the cafeteria. I was so cranky with him about that. Honestly, a few minutes reflection and discussion might have been in order, first. As it is, the evening had been ruined; me sitting on Christian's bed listening to him placate his Aunt. I'd spoken to her for a moment, and she'd been furious, citing all sorts of conspiracy theories each sounding more peculiar than the last.

Tasha was keen to come to campus, but she seemed fairly certain Guardian Petrov wouldn't allow it. So instead she convinced Christian to find out what was going on between Rose and Guardian Belikov. And that's where I came in. Christian wanted me to help him speak with Guardian Belikov. I didn't think there was much to be said. He was with Rose; that much was clear. But since I wanted to speak with Rose myself I agreed. I told Christian I'd wait until I saw one or the other of them and ask for an audience.

I knew Christian had a whole speech planned, but what was harder was knowing what I should say. I'd been wrong, and I wasn't sure there was any coming back from this.

I was still thinking about it when Christian and I walked into the cafeteria and saw the two of them sitting at a table with some Novices and Guardians. I didn't know how Rose would react, but I hoped she'd be civil. While she might be sarcastic and sometimes downright nasty when provoked, she'd never been like that with me. I hoped she wouldn't humiliate me in public.

* * *

"We could have met them in the common room," Dimitri said.

"Yes, but I kind of like them having to figure out where my dorm room is," I stated with a giggle. "And I can't wait until they see all our photos. Remind me to move the vodka shots one right to eye level," I joked.

"You're a terror milaya," he groaned.

"Sure am!" I said, giving Dimitri's lips a quick peck before skipping down the corridor in front of him. He caught up with me at my dorm door, and I slipped my arms around his neck, leaning against the door as we kissed. We were there for ages, and things were getting pretty heated when I could hear people climbing the stairs to the third floor. Probably Lissa and Christian. I let us into my room, quickly checking if there were anything I wouldn't want them seeing. It was neat and tidy although not for the first time I thought how tiny it was. There was only my bed and one chair to sit on at the small desk, mostly because there wasn't enough room for much else. If it hadn't been for the wall shelves, there wouldn't have been room even for my meager belongings.

"Comrade? Can you go grab a couple of chairs from the common room?" I asked, starting to feel nervous. I saw where Dimitri's clothes were still piled on my desk. I was going to put them away but decided not to. No more hiding how we felt and what we meant to one another!

Dimitri arrived back at the same time as Lissa and Christian. He walked through the doorway first and unceremoniously dumped two chairs at the foot of my bed, pulling my desk chair over next to where I sat cross-legged on my bed and turning around to sit backward on it, leaning on the back. The door was open, but it didn't matter – in the middle of the school day we were the only ones up here.

I saw Lissa looking around her in shock. I could see she'd had no idea this is how Novices were housed. It's true Kirova had probably made sure I had the smallest, meanest room available – which only accentuated the difference between my dorm room and hers. Christian was silent, staring at the wall of photos of Dimitri and I. I watched Lissa as her gaze made their way to that wall, her mouth dropping open a little at what she saw. Dimitri put his phone on my study desk, ignoring it as it started buzzing again. He looked straight at Christian.

"So you wanted to speak with me?" he said his tone anything but welcoming. One of his hands was resting on my leg, his fingers idly drawing little patterns on my knee.

"Yes," Christian replied insolently. "I want to know what you're playing at stringing along my Aunt?"

"Stringing along your Aunt?" Dimitri repeated gravely. "Perhaps you should start by explaining to me what you _think_ there is between Tasha and me?"

"Tasha told me you have a history. That there was a long-term understanding between the two of you to be together and start a family. She was here at Christmastime hoping to finalize arrangements for you to be reallocated to her when Lissa graduated."

Dimitri looked at him one eyebrow raised derisively before he turned to me.

"How much do you know abut things, milaya?"

"Some," I admitted. "Karolina gave me some background and your Mama and Babushka confirmed it." He nodded, squeezing my knee.

"I was nineteen or twenty when I met your Aunt," Dimitri said to Christian. "My late charge Ivan and I were at a party held by an old friend from St. Basils. Your Aunt is a distant cousin and was visiting him. She took an instant liking to Ivan, and they went out for a week. Ivan wasn't an evil man, but he was a wealthy young royal Moroi with no responsibilities and far too much time and money on his hands – both of which he liked spending on women. He was always clear about his intentions. The ladies knew he'd date them for a few weeks, take them to the best restaurants and nightclubs, show them a fabulous time, buy them an expensive piece of jewelry and move on to the next woman.

"Ivan and Tasha went out, but right from the start, it was evident she wanted more than he did, so he broke it off after only a week. And that's when the trouble started. Tasha just wouldn't take no for an answer. She kept calling him, showing up at his home unannounced or going to places she knew he would be. He tolerated it for a while, but it was getting over the top, so he asked me to step in and act as a buffer between them. It meant spending a lot of hours listening to your Aunt," Dimitri said diplomatically.

"It had been several months, and things were getting worse, not better when she attacked Lydia Voda one night at the cinema while Lydia was on a date with Ivan. The Voda's were incensed and petitioned Queen Tatiana who stepped in and _suggested_ to Tasha that she move to America while you completed your schooling here. I didn't speak to your Aunt again until Ivan died, and after that not until I came to St. Vladimir's three years ago. We would text every few months and maybe twice a year have a brief phone call, mostly about yourself and catching up on gossip about mutual friends. That is the extent of any relationship between your Aunt and me."

"I don't believe you," Christian snapped, but one look at Lissa proved she did.

"I don't care what you believe. I'm not a liar, and that's what happened. I've never even kissed your Aunt, nor have I wanted to. There was no understanding between us and even had she made me such an offer I would have said no." Dimitri's voice was calm, but he wasn't mucking around.

"But she's Moroi. _Royal_ Moroi," Christian blustered. "You're a promised Guardian! She can request you!"

Even Lissa bristled at that.

"I swore to defend and protect; I'm not a _prostitute_ Lord Ozera. And my love can't be bought either!" He was keeping his cool, but I could see Dimitri was seething. The fact his phone had been buzzing almost non-stop since they'd arrived wasn't helping matters.

"Christian, maybe we need to consider that some of Tasha's thoughts might have been wishful thinking? She's obviously very taken with Guardian Belikov, and maybe she made more out of things in her mind than was there?" She was being diplomatic, but Lissa was telling him to give it up; that Dimitri and Tasha's romance had all been a figment of Tasha's imagination.

"So what about this bullshit about you getting Rose pregnant? Everyone knows Dhampir can't have kids together. How do you think Tasha feels knowing you've chosen a girl passing off another guy's kid as yours over her?"

I could feel Dimitri tensing ready to explode.

"The paternity of Rose's baby is none of your business!" he said very quietly. "And I don't give a damn how _anyone_ feels about me loving Rose."

"Well, no one believes Rose. Everyone just thinks she's a slut," Christian retorted spitefully.

Dimitri stood up, pushing the chair aside.

"You're so stupid you _still_ have no idea what you've done, do you?" he roared. "Let's imagine for a moment that I _am_ this child's father. That when Lissa healed Rose, she healed her to the extent she can conceive with another Dhampir. Can you imagine what they'll want to do to Rose when they find out? To our child? They'll make them guinea pigs."

Christian was about to reply, but Dimitri kept shouting.

"Now I know what happens to Rose and our baby is of _no_ interest to you, so let me bring it closer to home. Guardian numbers are falling, and Strigoi are on the rise. What do you think is going to happen to Lissa if anyone knows she possesses the power to enable Dhampir to reproduce together? You saw what one man was willing to do to her to save himself - what do you think hundreds of scared entitled Moroi would be willing to do if they thought they were saving their entire way of life?!"

Christian was finally silent, and Lissa was almost crying. I don't think the full extent of announcing my pregnancy and the father to all and sundry had occurred to either of them until Dimitri pointed it out.

 _Is he really the father?_ Lissa asked me through the bond. _Are you absolutely certain?_

I looked at her and nodded, tears starting to well in my eyes.


	42. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 19

We were all silent. No matter how divided Christian and I were, neither of us liked the idea of our girlfriends being poked, prodded or experimented on. I'd experienced first hand just how far Moroi were willing to go 'for the greater good,' and there was no way I was going to stand for my partner or child going through anything like that. The thing is, right now I wasn't entirely sure how to prevent it.

"Why don't you answer that phone?" Christian grumbled, finally saying something. It was buzzing yet again.

Before I could stop her, Rose picked up the phone looking at the caller ID.

"That's forty-eight phone calls since half-past eleven," she said with a growl seeing the missed call number increment beside Tasha's name. "What's that? One every two and a half minutes? Comrade this is getting ridiculous! When is she going to stop?"

I sighed. It was just like it had been with Ivan, if not worse.

"If it's like last time with Ivan it _won't_. I'll get a new number," I said.

"I'm sure she's fine and just wants to speak with you," Christian said, but his tone lacked conviction.

"Christian, I know it's hard to hear, but you need to understand your aunt is unstable. This whole relationship between she and I is all in her mind." My Roza was soundless where she sat on her bed. I could see this was stressing her and I didn't want her worried. It wasn't safe for her or the baby. "I'm going to go and speak to Alberta. She needs to know that Tasha is not right at the moment. Christian? You've apparently talked to your aunt recently – it might be helpful if you could fill Alberta in about Tasha's current frame of mind."

Lissa gave Christian a supportive look and a nod.

"Christian, do it for _her_. She's done so much for you, now is the time to help her – even if she doesn't realize she needs it."

His eyes dropped to the floor as he nodded.

"Fine. Let's go," he said tonelessly.

Lissa stood and hugged Christian.

"I'll come find you in your dorm in a little while," she promised.

I kissed Rose on top of her head, frowning as I saw her rub her temples.

"Are you alright, milaya?"

"I'm fine, just a headache," she said, but her eyes didn't quite meet mine.

"Ok. I'll be back up here soon," I told her lovingly.

Last time Tasha lost it, Ivan's love interests became her targets. I was very concerned Tasha would try something against Rose, so I wanted to speak with Alberta as soon as possible. I picked up the two chairs to return to the common room. It looked like Lissa was going to stay and speak with Rose. I don't think Rose was particularly enthusiastic about it, but from her e-mails, and the little she'd said about it since I'd been back, they needed to talk.

"So there's nothing between you and Tasha," Christian said, finally seeming to accept the truth. "She imagined the whole thing."

"I'm afraid so," I replied. "And I need to warn you, last time things got really out of hand. I can look after myself, but if she comes after Rose and my baby, I won't hold back."

"It _is_ your baby, isn't it?" he asked, trying the idea on for size in his mind.

"If you even have to ask that then you don't know Rose at all," I replied sadly.

We were in the corridor to Alberta's office. It was weird to be here and not in uniform, but until I was officially allocated somewhere, I guess I was on unpaid leave. I had savings, so that wasn't the concern – but I needed to get in touch with Court and let them know what had happened and where I was.

I knocked on the frame of Alberta's office doorway.

"Belikov, Lord Ozera. How can I help you?"

I walked in and flopped into one of the chairs facing her desk, Christian following cautiously waited for Alberta to gesture for him to sit.

"Tasha knows I'm back," I said shooting Christian a slightly disgusted look, "And it appears she's not taking it well. I've not spoken to her, yet, but she's been ringing every two or three minutes since I switched my phone on this morning. It's very much like her behavior with my former charge Ivan – and that time she attacked Ivan's new girlfriend. I'm very concerned she might go after Rose, especially as she also knows about the baby and no doubt knows that Rose and I were particularly affectionate when we reunited."

I looked at Christian, and he nodded looking shamefaced.

"Christian has been in touch with his aunt so I thought it might help if he outlined her perspective on things?"

Alberta looked at Christian impassively.

"Can you shed any light on her current state of mind, Lord Ozera?"

"She's not particularly rational," he admitted. "Most of her talk was about Rose tricking Guardian Belikov into believing he'd fathered her baby. She kept saying if Rose weren't in the picture, Guardian Belikov would be free to be with her. If I'm honest, most of what she said was bagging out Rose."

It was as I'd thought. Rather than accept it was my decision to be with someone else she was focusing her vitriol on Rose.

"Anything else?" I probed.

"She was saying how she'd been banned from campus but that she had half a mind to come here and sort things out," Christian admitted.

"There was an incident when your aunt was last here where she attempted to physically attack Rose," Alberta clarified. "She wasn't banned per se, but I did suggest she not come back to campus until graduation."

"Are you _sure?_ That doesn't sound like Tasha."

"Two Guardians and the entire senior Novice class witnessed it Lord Ozera. Your aunt twice had to be physically restrained. There is no doubting the authenticity of the information." Alberta looked at me. "Dimitri? What do you suggest?"

"Honestly? If I could get Rose away from here right now, I would. Tasha frightens me because there's no reasoning with her and there's no knowing what she's likely to do. I think it would be useful if Christian stayed in touch with her and kept us informed if she leaves Minnesota. I'd also like to make sure Rose is accompanied by a Guardian or at least several Novices at all times. Plus an alert at the gates with a photo, so all Guardians know to be on the lookout for Tasha."

Alberta was nodding.

"That sounds prudent. Do you think she's going to try something?"

"I'm willing to bet on it," I said in frustration.

* * *

"So I wanted to let you know I've thought about what you said, and I'm staying on my medication but at half dose. It means I can use a little Spirit, but nowhere near the amount I would otherwise," Lissa said tentatively looking at me. "Not using Spirit causes me to get almost as edgy as using too much, so I thought that might be a good compromise? Especially while you're pregnant."

"Thanks. That's very considerate of you," I muttered, concealing about ninety-nine percent of my sarcasm.

"And I've talked to Christian about our romantic time together, and we're going to try and limit it to normal waking hours," she said blushing.

"I'm not sure if you need to worry about it. I haven't been sucked into your head in quite some time. I think maybe being pregnant is somehow stopping it."

She shrugged.

"So how far along are you, now? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Seventeen weeks, and not yet. I have an appointment in Missoula a few days after my birthday, and we can find out then, but I haven't had a chance to ask Dimitri if he wants to." Lissa looked surprised. "Dimitri had only had a few hours sleep in days, so last night he was out like a light. We woke just before lunch, then we were in the cafeteria and then came here. We've barely had a chance to talk about anything," I confessed.

"So where was he?" she said curiously. "What took him so long to get back?"

"I can't say as it's classified, but I can tell you it's a miracle he made it back to me and I couldn't be prouder of him."

"I never gave you the chance to explain how you two ended up together…" she said tentatively. I knew she wanted to know how long it had been going on.

"It started early on. Almost as soon as we arrived back. Me crushing on him, I mean," I said, seeing Lissa's shocked look. "Dimitri was entirely professional and if anything pretty remote at first – but over time he loosened up a bit and we started to talk more and more during our training sessions. Sometimes he'd look at me, and I'd wonder if maybe he felt something too, but it was always gone before I could tell."

Lissa was looking at me seriously. A quick skim of her mind revealed she was interested and believed me.

"Everything changed the night of the Equinox Dance," I said in almost a whisper. "You know how Victor put a spell on my necklace? Well, it was a _lust_ charm. I didn't attack Dimitri physically – it caused us to want to be _together._ We were making out, and we were very close to doing it when Dimitri realized what was going on and took the necklace off and flung it out the window. You know the rest of the story but afterward was _mortifying_. I was so into him, but Dimitri told me it was just a spell and he wasn't into me in that way. It wasn't until a few days later when he killed Natalie, and I was injured that he finally admitted he liked me too, but that we couldn't be together."

"Because of him being a Guardian?" Lissa guessed.

"Yes. Well mostly because of you. We couldn't be in a relationship and guard you. A Guardian's charge _has_ to come first, so we just pretended it had never happened. We went back to training as normal, but even though we weren't physical about things, the emotional side of things didn't stop growing. I was falling more and more in love, and it was the same for him. One morning during training he slipped up and told me he loved me. I was over the freaking moon! Later that day he got the news about his reallocation. He was no longer your Guardian, so nothing was standing in our way. He had to go to Missoula to do his will and sort some things out before he left, so we convinced Alberta it was a mock qualifier, and we spent his last five days here together as a couple."

"And then he left?"

"Yep. On Tuesday, December 6."

"Why didn't you _say_ anything?!" Lissa said looking at me appalled.

"I was sworn to secrecy. I couldn't tell you why I was so upset about Dimitri leaving without telling you what was going on - that we loved each other and that he'd been sent on a suicide mission. I was planning on saying something once you were told about his reallocation, but by then Tasha was here, and you and Christian were convinced she and Dimitri were an item."

"And when you did tell me, I didn't believe you," she finished, looking suitably contrite.

"Pretty much."

"I'm so sorry, Rose! It was just such a surprise to hear you were pregnant and Dhampir can't usually have children together…"

"Yeah I know Lissa," I said wearily.

"I thought you made it up because you were jealous," Lissa blurted out. "Jealous of the time I was spending with Tasha and Christian. I wasn't even sure you _were_ pregnant until I heard they'd modified your training program."

"I wasn't _jealous_ , Lissa. If anything I was _relieved_ to have other people to share the load! I meant what I said the other day. I've supported you, no matter what it cost me, for years and never resented it. Not even when it meant Dimitri and I couldn't be together. I accepted it as just the way things had to be. But I _do_ resent that the first time I needed _your_ support, it wasn't there. Not only didn't you support me, but you also betrayed my confidence, and because of that the whole school found out something you knew I was trying to keep secret. Something that could mean a lifetime of suffering for my child!"

"I'm _sorry_ Rose! I made a mistake!"

"But it wasn't just then, Lissa! You made a mistake every time you made a decision that affected me without bothering to ask me about it! You made a mistake when you expected that every time you needed something I'd do it no matter what it cost me. Doesn't it strike you as odd that we've been back at the Academy seven months, and you had _no idea_ where my dorm room was? You don't think about me beyond how I fit your needs."

"That's not true!" she wailed, starting to cry.

"Isn't it?!" I snapped. " _Think_ about it, Lissa! You said you didn't know me, and you were right. It's been a _long_ time since we were genuinely best friends. I'm sorry this is the way it's ended up. I feel _hugely_ guilty about letting you down. But I've realized _I_ need to be important to someone, too. And now I've found Dimitri's love, and we have a baby on the way, they're always going to come first."

We sat looking at one another, both teary-eyed. It was probably a good thing I heard Dimitri walking down the corridor a moment later. He walked in, immediately sensing the mood in the room.

"Do you two need a moment?" he asked solicitously.

"No we're good," I said getting up from the bed and swaying a little. Dimitri was right there at my elbow.

"Are you alright Roza?" he checked.

"Yep. Just a headache and got up a bit quickly. I'm all right."

"You don't look fine. You look like you're in pain. How bad is your headache?" he demanded in his 'tell me now or else' voice that I secretly kind of loved.

"It's pretty bad. I might take some painkillers."

Dimitri knew for me to consider pain-relief it had to be serious. Dhampirs had a stronger pain tolerance than Moroi or humans, and mine was exceptionally high even for a Dhampir.

"Come on milaya. Let's see Dr. Olendzki. We'll get you checked over, and she can suggest a suitable painkiller."

"I'm _fine_ Comrade. I already know what I can take. She told me a few weeks ago!"

"Roza – you can come to the infirmary with me voluntarily, or I'll pick you up and carry you there," he threatened lovingly.

"I'll walk I'll walk!" I agreed, knowing he'd be only too happy to make good on his threat. "You take such good care of me," I said with a smile.

"Well _someone_ has to!" he said indulgently, leaning down to brush his lips against mine.

Lissa stood and looked at me. _I don't want to end things like this._

"We'll talk again soon," I promised her. "Maybe we could have lunch later in the week?" I suggested.

"I'd like that," she said uncertainly. "I'll go so you can get to the infirmary."

She left, and Dimitri and I followed. My head was pounding, and I hated to admit it, but a trip to the clinic might be a good idea. We walked into the familiar smell of antiseptic and stale hospital food. Dr. Olendzki saw us, and her mouth dropped open.

"Guardian Belikov! I had no idea you were back," she gasped in shock.

He gave her a warm smile.

"I got back last night. Rose has had a few shocks and stresses today and is suffering from a severe headache. I'd feel happier if you can examine her and make sure she and the baby are ok."

The doctor ushered us into one of the rooms with proper walls and a door, pulling the curtain across so we were not visible through the door's glass panel.

"I'll get a blanket. Rose, can you get on the bed and lift your dress to expose your stomach please?"

I think she was expecting me to be shy, but I climbed onto the narrow bed and pulled my dress up to under my breasts. Dimitri put one hand on top of my baby bump and rubbed it fondly, looking at me adoringly.

"Rose are you happy for Guardian Belikov to stay during your examination?" Dr. Olendzki queried.

"Absolutely," I told her with a reassuring smile at my man.

Her first check was blood pressure, and I saw her brow furrow with concern. She did a few other tests and then for the first time asked me to go pee in a cup.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her suspiciously while pulling my dress down and waddling across to the room's bathroom.

"I'm just testing for proteins in your urine," she explained, not answering my question.

I did as instructed, careful to make sure I didn't get any pee on the side of the plastic container – a feat harder than it sounded. I put it down on the bench beside the doctor and watched while she dipped a test strip in it.

"Ok… that's good. You have no protein in your urine, but your blood pressure is a lot higher than I'd like, especially given your gestation. Rose, I know how much you hate it, but I'd like you on bed rest for a week. I'll clear you from classes…"

"No fucking way!" I snarled. "Dimitri's finally back, and we have stuff to sort out. There's no way in hell I'm spending a week in here!"

"Dr. Olendzki," Dimitri started, giving me a look and grabbing my hand reassuringly, "How strict does the bed rest need to be? Does she need to be in bed in hospital, or would taking it easy for a week be enough?"

"Walking around and gentle exercise would be fine. I'd like her with someone most of the time to keep an eye on her."

"I may need to go to Court this week for a few days. Would it be safe for her to travel? She'd be with me the whole time, and I promise not to let her get upset…"

Dr. Olendzki looked at the two of us with a kindly expression.

"Guardian Belikov, I think spending the week together would be the _best_ medicine I could prescribe. I'll clear her for travel, but I'll print off her medical history to take with you in case of any problems as well as the name of a colleague at Court I can recommend. I'll also need you to take your blood pressure every four hours, Rose. I'll give you a list of things to look out for and when to seek medical help."

I nodded obediently. If it meant being with my man, I'd play by any rule the doctor set.

"Now Guardian Belikov, I don't have an ultrasound machine here, but I _did_ just get a Doppler device which will allow us to hear baby. Would you like to hear baby's heartbeat?"

Dimitri's face lit up like it was Christmas. He nodded enthusiastically giving Dr. Olendzki and me a huge grin. I lifted my dress, and the doctor put a little gel on the sensor, running it across my tummy. Dimitri sat on the side of my bed holding one of my hands in both of his looking at me in excitement. It was only a moment or so later when a loud woosh woosh woosh sound came through the speaker.

"That's our baby!" Dimitri exclaimed happily.

"It is," I laughed watching as my Comrade sat entranced.

"I'm the luckiest man in the world," he grinned, leaning over and kissing me tenderly, not even trying to hide the unshed tears in his eyes.

We left the infirmary a little while later. The painkillers were starting to take effect, and Dimitri was carrying a sheaf of printouts and instructions as well as an at-home blood pressure monitor. He decided a cuddle and rest was in order before our 5 am meeting with Alberta. For the next hour and a half, we lay side by side on his bed as he told me more about his time away and I filled him in on my discussion with Lissa. We were both feeling happy and relaxed as we headed to Alberta's office.

"Rose. Dimitri," she greeted when we appeared promptly at five. "Come in and take a seat," she said, gesturing to her couch. "Please let me introduce Mr. Ibrahim Mazur," she said a little nervously, indicating the other person in her office. "Rose, Mr. Mazur is here to speak with you."

I gave Dimitri a 'what the hell' look before returning my gaze to Mr. Mazur. He was odd looking, for a Moroi. About five foot nine he was short for a Moroi although he still had the slim build typical of his race. He had an almost golden hue to his skin, dark hair and eyes. He also had the most hideous dress sense which, while obviously expensive, made him look a little like a used car salesman.

"Novice Hathaway," he greeted, holding out his hand to me. "I'm Ibrahim Mazur, but please call me Abe. I sometimes work as a lawyer, and I've been engaged to meet with you about a delicate matter. I'm here at the request of your father."


	43. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 20

"My father?" Rose asked, cuddling into Dimitri's side a little. Ever in tune with her, I could see the Russian move slightly to pull her protectively against him. While I'd always feel guilty for signing the leave pass which got the two of them into this mess, I was happy that they were together and that he'd made it back to her. If ever two people belonged together it was Rose and Dimitri.

"Yes. Your father has heard about your… predicament… and would like to be of assistance," Abe clarified.

"My father…" Rose said, still stuck on the first part of Abe's news. "He knows about me? For how long? What's his name? Does he want to meet me?"

Abe looked conflicted. I'd warned him Rose would want details. It was understandable; one parent had abandoned her – it made sense she'd be curious about the other.

"Your father has only recently discovered your existence. He had no idea he had a child until a few weeks ago. I'm not at liberty to reveal his name at this stage, and he has not informed me of any intentions to meet with you."

"So how did he find out about me?" she asked.

"He has not shared that information with me either," Abe said, "Although I understand it was quite a shock to him. You're his only child."

"Did he have a relationship with my mother?" Rose pressed.

"I don't believe so. My belief is that it was a one-off thing," Abe replied delicately.

"So you can't tell me a name, what _can_ you share with me?" Rose asked, looking at Abe challengingly.

"I can tell you that he's a very successful businessman who works out of several locations in America, Europe, and Asia. He's in his early forties, has never married and has no other children."

"And he wants to help me?" she asked Abe but looking at Dimitri, who was rubbing calming circles on her arms.

"Yes. When he found out about you, he also discovered you were pregnant and at that stage alone," Abe stopped here to look meaningfully at Dimitri. "So he is making arrangements to be of financial assistance to you."

Rose sat there for a moment taking it all in; then she turned to bury her face against Dimitri's chest and started crying. Abe looked alarmed, but Dimitri took it in his stride, closing his arms around her and soothing her.

"He doesn't want to meet me," she cried against Dimitri's shirt. "He's probably ashamed of me."

Dimitri's face contorted in pain. I knew he hated the damage Rose's upbringing had inflicted on her. The way deep down she always thought she wasn't worthy.

"Shh, milaya. Mr. Mazur hasn't said your father doesn't want to meet you, just that he hasn't mentioned it, yet. I know it's a big thing for you, but it must be for him, too. It makes sense to reach out first through a lawyer – but that doesn't mean he doesn't care or doesn't want to meet in the future," Dimitri crooned, stroking Rose's hair waiting for her to calm down a little.

"Mr. Mazur, nice to meet again," Dimitri said turning his attention to the Moroi. "Can I ask what your instructions are?"

"Certainly Guardian Belikov, and please call me Abe. Rose's father would like me to spend some time with the young lady and make suggestions to him about how best to provide for her and the child financially and to make sure they are getting the best possible medical care. He also wants me to write a dossier about Rose. Her likes, dislikes, more about her life growing up and that sort of thing. He has a lot of blanks to fill in."

"So he gets to know all about me, but I don't get to know anything about him?" Rose snapped, still crying.

"I don't think that's his intention," Abe said. "Your father is a very cautious man, Rose. He was very surprised to find out he had a child. He intends to provide for you in any case, but he's curious about you."

"Yeah well he's not the only curious one," she said bitterly, "And I've had a lot longer to wonder about it." She got up and straightened her clothes. "I'm done here. I don't want any part of this. I've managed without him in my life this far, and the last thing I need is another absent parent involving themselves in my life on their terms." And then she walked out of my office.

Dimitri sighed leveling his gaze upon me. "Alberta? Can you…"

"I'm on it," I said, standing and following Rose from the room. As I'd expected, she hadn't got far; I found her sitting on a bench just down the corridor.

"Why doesn't he want to meet me, Alberta?" she asked, crying again. It was only then I felt the weight of my promise not to tell her who Abe was. "Do you think he's embarrassed by me? Is the money his way of easing his conscience?"

"Rose, try not to read too much into things," I said, choosing my words carefully. "You have to remember this must be a big shock to him, too. You've had your whole life knowing you had a father somewhere. He's only had a week or two knowing he has a child. He cared enough to make contact, and he wants to help support you and the baby. Maybe just take things at face value for now and see how things play out?"

"I always thought if I found out who my father was, maybe he'd be happy and want to meet me. Maybe even want to get to know me," she cried.

Of course she did. It was the same dream most single parented or abandoned Dhampir kid had. Every child wanted to be loved and to think their absent parents cared about them.

"Please, Rose. Come back and give the man a chance. I know Dimitri's back, and so things are different now, but a little financial help might still make things a lot easier for the two of you when you're starting out? Allocations that accommodate a partner and a child must be very few and far between. You know Dimitri will do whatever it takes to support the three of you - but if money wasn't such a concern he might be able to be more selective about his next allocation?"

As I expected, thinking about Dimitri immediately brought Rose around. He might do anything for her, but the same was true of her for him.

"What if he doesn't want to know me?" she whispered forlornly.

"Rose he's already curious about you and wants to help. Give it a bit of time," I counseled, hoping to God Abe was going to do the right thing by her.

* * *

"What's your relationship with Rose, Guardian Belikov?" Abe asked, cutting straight to the chase once Alberta left the room.

"I'm her boyfriend," I said, suspecting where this was going.

"But you _were_ her mentor?"

"Yes, I was. Rose and I spent so much time together, it's probably no surprise we fell in love."

"And you _do_ love her?" he asked suspiciously.

"With everything I am, Mr. Mazur," I said earnestly.

"Abe," he corrected absentmindedly, mulling over my words. "So how long has this been going on?"

"The love? It built up over months. Together? Only the five days after I was reallocated but before I left for my mission. I was no longer a Guardian at St. Vladimir's or her mentor, and she was over the age of consent, so we felt there was nothing to hold us back."

"Those are just formalities," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "The truth is you allowed yourself to fall in love with a student what five, six years younger than you?"

"Seven," I groaned. He was right. Nothing he was saying was anything I hadn't already berated myself about.

"And now you're back, and she's pregnant. What are your plans?" he asked with an almost dangerous look in his eyes.

"I plan to spend my life with her and our child. I'll work to support and provide for them, and I will make sure they never want for anything. I will be the man they need me to be."

"You say _our_ child?" Abe said quietly. "Are you telling me you're the biological father of her baby?"

"I'm telling you that I plan to be a parent to that child in every possible way. That I will be there for him or her, and make sure that they have the sort of loving upbringing Rose missed out on," I replied, not answering his question.

"You blame Rose's father for not being there?" he asked in surprise.

"No. You can't blame a man for not acting on something he didn't know about," I said, thinking about the time when I was unaware Rose was expecting our child. "But his actions are his own once he does."

"So you're what? Twenty-five? That's young to be saddled with a girlfriend and soon a baby. I can't imagine finding an allocation is going to be easy?"

"I'm not saddled, Abe. I feel like the luckiest man in the world. I'm getting the opportunity to be a father and spend my life with the woman I love. Yes getting a suitable allocation is going to be difficult, which is why I intend to travel to Court as soon as possible to report on my mission and see if there's something available."

"And if there isn't?" Abe pressed.

"Then it's going to be the time for some hard choices," I admitted.

"What does _she_ want?"

"At this stage, I don't think she knows. We've not had the chance to talk things through since I've been back. Rose's blood pressure is high, and the doctor is concerned. She's given her a week off school. There's another situation going on which would make getting off campus for a while a good idea. The doctor has cleared her to travel, so I'm hoping to get Alberta's permission to take Rose to Court with me so we can spend a few days working out what she wants so I can figure out how to make it happen."

"You're very invested in her happiness," he observed.

"That's my job now."

"But what makes you happy?" he probed.

I felt sorry for him. If he didn't know the answer to that, he'd never really been in love.

"She does, Abe."

* * *

I walked back through the door to Alberta's office and curled up on the sofa, tucking myself in under my Russian God's arm without even looking at Abe. Dimitri leaned in and looked at me.

"How are you feeling Roza? You know the doctor wants you to stay calm."

"The doctor? What's going on Rose?" Alberta asked protectively.

"I've got high blood pressure. She wants me to take a week off school to rest," I grumbled.

"The whole Tasha thing is stressing Rose out," Dimitri said in his beautiful accented voice. "I was hoping to take her to Court with me for a few days? Dr. Olendzki has cleared her to fly, and she needs some maternity clothing and underwear so we could shop for those there. And it would be easier to make plans for our future and to consider any possible allocations if she was there to discuss them with me."

I looked at Alberta, giving her my most pathetic look, but it didn't look as though she was going to budge.

"I'm not sure…" she started.

"Why don't we kill two birds with one stone?" Abe suggested. "Rose and Guardian Belikov would be most welcome to travel on my jet and stay in my unit during their visit to Court. I have other business to attend to there anyway, so it's no inconvenience. It would give me the opportunity to get to know Rose better, and I'm sure were I to contact Rose's father I could get him to sign whatever forms would be required, given Rose is still underage. I could send them back in my plane later in the week? Perhaps Sunday?" he suggested.

I looked at Dimitri. If an offer was too good to be true, it usually was, but free flights and accommodation at Court would be a huge help. Plus I was thinking about what Alberta had said. Maybe I should take this father thing a day at a time.

"Saturday," I said looking at him for the first time since I came back in. "It's my eighteenth on Saturday, and I'd like to be back here to celebrate with my friends."

Abe grinned.

"We can manage that. How soon would you like to leave?"

I looked at Dimitri.

"As soon as possible. Tonight if we can."

* * *

"I can't believe this is only your second time on a plane," Dimitri commented as we cuddled together now the aircraft had leveled out.

I shrugged.

"Kids brought up by the Academy don't exactly get fancy holidays, you know that. If I hadn't gone on the run with Lissa, I'd probably still never have been on one," I said matter of factly. That was something I'd always looked forward to when I became a Guardian; the opportunity to travel. I guess I could shelve that idea now I thought sadly.

Abe had introduced Dimitri and me to his Guardians when we'd boarded. We were seated in a conversational group facing Abe. He'd put an eye mask on, headphones in, pressed a few buttons on his phone and said he was going to sleep. Everyone else was sitting far enough away that we wouldn't be overheard, so since neither of us was sleepy yet, Dimitri decided this would be a good time to make some of our plans.

"Roza, I know everything's changed because of the baby, and you've had to give up so much. I haven't told you how sorry I am that all your dreams were ruined because I couldn't control myself. But I love you, and I love Junior, and I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you." My Russian God looked so remorseful.

"Comrade? For quite a while now my biggest dream has been to be with you. Yes, a lot of other things have changed, but that's life. I don't regret being together or falling pregnant. I'm sorry if you do. I know you didn't get any say in whether to continue with the pregnancy," I said, taking my hands from where he'd held them in his. He grabbed them straight back again, stroking them gently.

"Roza I was _thrilled_ when I found out you were pregnant. It was like winning the lottery! But you're the one paying for it. It's your education, your career and even your reputation that is suffering. Your mother and best friend have all but turned their backs on you, and now there's some nutjob wanting to cause you trouble, and that's my fault, too," he said bitterly. "I just wish I could take you away from all this."

"I know Comrade. I do wish things weren't so complicated, but we're getting our chance. I got you back, and _that_ means more to me than anything. I never thought about being a Mom, but now I'm pregnant, and you're here to share it with me, I'm happier than I've ever been. And just so you know, I _love_ it when you can't control yourself," I told him with a sexy look. "I hope you lose your self-control over and over again while we're at Court," I giggled.

He laughed.

"Oh, Roza – I love you."

"Love you too, Comrade!" I replied, glad to see him looking happier.

"So have you got any thoughts about where to from here?" he asked.

"Not really," I admitted. "I've been mostly focused on where to deliver the baby, finding a place to live and getting a job."

"Well let's start with those three then," he said getting out his notepad. I laughed – ever organized, it was such a Dimitri thing to do! "Do you have any thoughts about where you want to have the baby or who you want there? Don't worry about practicalities just tell me how you imagine it if you could have it however you want."

"Well, I guess I imagine Dr. Olendzki there. She's been there every other time I've been sick or injured."

"That makes sense," Dimitri acknowledged. "She's been your doctor since you were four."

"Yep. I trust her. Also, I thought what if the baby isn't Dhampir? I mean, we're both Dhampir, so I assume the baby will be. But what if it's not? I mean – this is a first as far as I know?"

"I can ask my Babushka," Dimitri said thoughtfully. "When she found out you were pregnant, she straight away said it could happen if a woman is shadow-kissed."

"She knows about being shadow-kissed?" I asked stunned.

"Yes. Babushka has friends who are bonded. The woman is a Moroi Spirit user with a shadow-kissed Dhampir husband."

"Wow! I'd love to speak with them sometime," I said, my mind reeling.

"I thought when things settle down maybe we could go to Russia for a visit to introduce the baby to my family? Babushka could introduce you then? I'd like our child to grow up knowing my homeland and its Russian family."

"I'd like that too. Your nieces and nephews will be Junior's only cousins, your sisters its only aunts. I'd like them to be close," I replied, imagining huge family dinners and Christmases together. "I want Junior to have everything I didn't," I murmured. "And if we can, when it's time, I want to try for another child," I blurted out.

"You don't want to see how we go with this one, first?" Dimitri asked, but I could see the joy in his eyes.

"Ok. I just don't want Junior growing up alone like I did. It's a hard thing to know you're on your own from a very early age," I said.

"Our baby is going to have _us_ , Roza," Dimitri promised. "But I love the idea of having at least one more."

"At least? How many are you thinking, Comrade?"

"I'm not sure. I guess it depends on how well I can control myself," he teased.

We cuddled for a bit, giving each other gentle, loving kisses. Dimitri had been back just over twenty-four hours, but already I couldn't imagine being without him.

"Right," he said straightening up a little as a Guardian walked past our seats to the front of the plane to get a drink. "So we know you'd like Dr. Olendzki to deliver Junior if possible. Who do you imagine being there?"

"You, of course," I said, sneaking another kiss.

"Anyone else? Lissa maybe?"

"No. Not Lissa. Maybe Celeste or Alberta?" I suggested. "Although they might not want to be there or might not be able to get away…"

"You know," Dimitri said thinking it over, "having the baby at St. Vladimir's has some merit. You'd get your doctor of choice; it's a place you're comfortable and familiar, and both Celeste, and Alberta would be there. It's also away from prying eyes, and those three already know about Junior's parentage. I guess it comes down to my allocation. I'd need to take leave so I could be there with you, but maybe it's worth exploring? Even if St. Vlad's isn't possible, we could look at the hospital you were at in Missoula? With Dr. Olendzki attending?"

"I'd like her there. I know it's silly to be frightened. Women do this all the time, but it will be a first for me."

"Milaya, having you feeling safe and supported is important," he reassured me. "So I'm going to skip where to live and talk about you working. What are you thinking?"

I did have thoughts, but I wasn't sure how to put into words what I was wanted. "I'm not sure. What do you think?" I asked, trying to get a read on what he thought.

"Well, I guess I assumed I would be working to support our little family and you'd stay at home with our baby, at least at first. But I don't want to stand in the way of your career, so if you want to do things the other way I'm happy to stay home with Junior."

"I want to stay home," I said firmly. "At least for six months or a year if we can afford it. I'd hate to miss anything," I explained, "and I want Junior to know Mama is always there for him…"

"Him?"

"I think it's a boy," I smiled.

"I think it's a girl," he replied.

"Well one of us is right," I teased. "I imagine a handsome little boy just like his Papa."

"I imagine a beautiful little girl just like her Mama," he replied.

"Do you want to find out? I have a scan next week…"

"Let's keep it a surprise," Dimitri suggested. "I like the idea of us finding out when we meet him or her for the first time."

"Ok," I agreed. "But we should probably talk names soon."

"We will. I promise. So. Do you have any thoughts on where to live?"

"I guess it will come down to where you can get an allocation," I said gloomily. "But I'm open to pretty much anywhere."

"But if you had a choice?"

"Well, I thought maybe near Court? I know Court itself is expensive, but Deirdre said there are a few communities in the areas surrounding Court? She said most are rich Moroi families living in large houses, but maybe one of them needs a Guardian? And maybe I could help look after their kids or do their cleaning?"

"Milaya I'm not having you clean Moroi toilets," Dimitri growled furiously.

"Comrade I don't mind working to help our family. I know it's not going to be easy on a single wage, especially with you sending money home to help your family. Eventually, I'd like to work as a Guardian, but while Junior is little, I don't mind cleaning or whatever."

"Mama recently came into some money," he said. "I don't need to send money home anymore. In fact, if we need it Mama might be able to help us out a little."

I nodded. I had to admit that was a relief. I'd worried how we were going to manage if Dimitri was still supporting his family of seven back home.

"So describe your dream home to me," he said, pulling me close to him.

"Dream house? Well… I want at least twenty toilets and four or five kitchens…" I joked. Dimitri lifted an eyebrow dubiously. He knew I could burn water.

"Nah. I'd like a cottage. Nothing fancy. Two or three bedrooms. Maybe a little porch where we could sit together? And a deck where you could barbecue for our friends so I could buy you one of those 'kiss the cook' aprons. It'd be good to be close enough to Court so we could go there whenever, but not to have to live there. Even if our friends don't live at Court, most Guardians end up visiting there every now and again, so it would be nice to live close enough so they could visit. What do you want?" I asked him curiously.

"I love what you're describing," he said. "And I'd like a veggie patch. My Babushka has grown fresh vegetables and fruit for the family since I was a child. I find gardening quite relaxing, and nothing tastes better than homegrown," he asserted.

"I like the sound of that," I said, feeling very loving all of a sudden. I wrapped my arms around his neck and spent the next half an hour kissing the man that two days ago I thought was gone forever. The pilot announced we were minutes away from landing, so we straightened ourselves up.

"Comrade? You know I don't need my dream house or job or even ideal delivery, right? As long as you're with me, I'm happy."

"I know that, Roza. But a man needs to have some goals," he said with determination.

Minutes later we touched down. It was the middle of the Moroi night, so it was bright with sunlight outside. Pavel came forward and directed us to a minibus with the other Guardians.

"Should we wake Abe?" I asked, looking to wear the eccentric Moroi was out cold.

"No need – I'll do that," Pavel said kindly, so Dimitri took my hand, and together we stepped out into the Spring sunshine.

* * *

"Good trip Mr. Mazur?" I asked once Belikov, and the girl were off the plane.

"Very good," he said thoughtfully, lifting his eyeshade and removing his earbuds. Looking at his phone, he went into the voice recorder app and pressed stop. "Pavel? Book an appointment for a Real Estate agent for me tomorrow, would you? I want to look at luxury property surrounding Court. One with a decent gatehouse or cottage. I think it would be handy for me to have a base near but not in Court for when I visit."

"For Rose to live there?" I asked with a smirk.

"Whatever gave you _that_ idea, Pavel?" he asked innocently, draping his scarf around his neck and stepping off the plane and straight into the tinted darkness of the waiting minibus.


	44. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 21

Lying in our huge bed in Abe's unit, the sight in front of me was hot hot hot. Dimitri, standing only in his boxers ironing his formal uniform. My eyes traipsed across his muscled chest and sculpted arms, up his neck, to linger on his beautiful face, sensuous lips and almost shoulder length hair. He turned around to hang his freshly ironed shirt, giving me a view of his chiseled back; and I couldn't prevent the soft moan that escaped my lips. There was no escaping it. I was in love with an Adonis amongst men. A Russian Love God.

He knew I was watching him, but he didn't look up from where he was ironing the creases down the front of his pants with military precision. I knew he was nervous about visiting Guardian headquarters today – and preparing his uniform to pressed, starched perfection was his way of dealing with it. I, however, had a much more pleasant idea of how to ease his tension.

Putting my fingers in my mouth, I wet them before reaching down between my legs. I was already a little excited from just watching him, but I didn't think it hurt to make myself more turned on. Besides, I was curious to find out what seeing me pleasure myself would do to my man. I found the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs, and with a little sigh, I started rubbing myself gently. Mostly on the hood rather than on the nub itself, I closed my eyes for a moment as I began to feel the pleasure emanating from beneath my fingertips.

I opened my eyes again to where Dimitri was still ironing. I knew he was aware of what I was doing, but he hadn't yet looked up, so I decided to step things up a notch. One hand busily engaged between my legs, I pulled my hair tie out, letting my long dark hair spill against the whiter than white bed linens. With my tanned skin, and the fact I was completely naked, I suspected he'd find the sight inspiring. When he still didn't look up, I allowed my idle hand to trail down to my full breasts, playing with one dark plump nipple. I'd forgotten just how sensitive they'd become, because as soon as I tweaked it, a hiss escaped my lips and a spasm wracked my body, waves of excitement pulsing down the nerves linking my breasts with where my other hand was busily occupied.

"What are you doing, milaya?" Dimitri asked, seemingly intent on his ironing. But a quick glance at the tenting of his boxers suggested my man was already _well_ aware of what I was up to.

"Just watching you iron," I said with mock virtuousness, my fingers still circling my clit. "I love the way you're so thorough. Are you so thorough with _everything_ you do?" I asked mischievously.

"Probably," he replied refusing to look up.

"I hope so. I like a man who _gives it his all,_ " I said suggestively. "There's something very _satisfying_ about a man who _doesn't hold back."_

"Do you think I hold back, milaya," he asked dangerously, turning his pants over on the ironing board and giving the reverse side a final quick press.

"I hope not," I whispered huskily, meeting his eyes as he finally looked up from what he was doing. I smiled deviously as I saw his eyes widen slightly, his soft lips purse as his dark brown orbs flipped from my face to the hand at my breast then down to where my other hand was unashamedly pleasuring myself.

"Do you need a hand there, Roza?" he asked, his accent much more pronounced, and his voice thick with desire. He switched off the iron, and put it safely at the end of the ironing board.

"Hmm… Well, a _hand_ wasn't quite what I had in mind," I said with a cheeky grin, my eyes dropping to the very noticeable bulge in his boxers.

"Oh milaya, you're such a naughty girl," he moaned, crossing the bedroom towards me in three fluid steps, his boxers kicked to the floor along the way. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked rhetorically, before he climbed onto the bed, his excited lips crashing against mine.

"Everything," I moaned elatedly when his lips left mine to kiss and nip along my neck. "I want you to do _everything_ with me!"

His excited growl was thrilling, and I gasped when he lifted me, shifting us, so I straddled his lap as he sat with his legs folded underneath him. It brought our faces to the same level so I could kiss him without having to reach up, which I did enthusiastically. I was still rubbing myself, much to Dimitri's delight, and pulling myself from his lips I leaned back to give him access to my breasts. With a moan, he pushed his face into my cleavage, planting open-mouthed kisses over each breast before pulling one nipple into his hot wet mouth.

He sucked gently, but even that pressure was overwhelming. I mewled my approval, my lips pressed against the hair at his temple, one hand tangled in his dark mane.

"You need a haircut, Comrade," I gasped.

"I know. I was going to get one before my meeting," he said pulling away from my breasts.

"Ugh! Don't stop!" I groaned, pushing his head back towards my peaked nipples. Dimitri chuckled as he continued his oral assault, his huge hands on my hips and bottom holding me firmly in place on his lap. I was rocking against him, grinding against his rock hard member. I could feel a delicious vibration against my breast as he groaned torturously. I took my fingers from where I'd been rubbing myself, fisting his manhood and pulling my hand up and over the head, the precum on the tip helping lubricate his shaft. He nipped one nipple causing me to yelp in surprise and pleasure. Someone was getting a little overexcited! I wrapped one arm around his neck, and he lifted me so I could position myself above his thick hard length before I slowly sunk onto him.

"Roza!" Dimitri bellowed, throwing his head back in gratification. I smiled at him as gradually his eyes met mine, clouded with lust. We both needed this.

Moving both arms to rest around his neck, I rocked where I was sitting in his lap, adjusting to his size. I could feel his hands splayed across my back and buttocks as he pulled me closer to him, his lips meeting mine. Opening my mouth to him, his tongue licked mine before our lips pressed together starting a long passionate kiss. Lifting himself up on his knees, Dimitri took my weight and slowly lowered me onto my back, resting my hips at the very edge of the mattress. Standing on the floor, he leaned over and gave me another kiss before grasping each of my feet and resting them on his chest near his shoulder, one on each side. Then he bent his legs and leaned forward, simultaneously opening me further to him and pushing his hardness deeper into my eager core.

My enthusiastic wail obviously told him everything he needed to know, because he picked up the pace, his dark eyes holding mine as he slipped in and out of me. His hands on my hips grasped me tightly, immobilizing me as he all but impaled me on his cock. The sensation was exquisite; every time he pulled back my legs relaxed slightly, but with every forward thrust my legs bent and parted giving room for him to penetrate me deeper.

The pace he set was perfect. Had I had my way, he would have pounded me senseless, but his slightly slower pace was building the anticipation, and I knew the longer he delayed my release, the more profound it would be. Not really able to reach him where he was, I moistened my fingers in my mouth and fondled both my breasts, rolling and tweaking each distended nub. I was attempting to flex my hips up to meet his thrusts, but my Russian God's viselike grip held me stationary.

"Touch yourself," he growled just as I thought I'd be unable to withstand any further delay to my gratification.

Slipping my hand down to my tight pearl, I used the abundant wetness from my excitement to lubricate my fingers. Dimitri straightened up slightly to give my fingers easier access, causing him to change the angle of his thrusts. Suddenly he was pounding hard into my g-spot over and over again. My little gasps became loud moans of pleasure. Looking at me in surprise, Dimitri knew better than to stop, and within minutes I screamed with pleasure as I came _hard._

He picked up the speed and now he _was_ pounding me senseless. I was still wailing as his wetness flooded within me. His eyelids fluttered, and he bit his lips before he growled " _FUCK_ yes!" loudly.

Both panting with exertion, we looked at one another in disbelief. That had been hotter than hell. Pulling out of me, I could feel Dimitri's cum on my butt as it dribbled out of my core. He flopped down beside me looking _much_ more relaxed than he had while he was ironing.

"Are you feeling better, Comrade?" I cooed, rolling onto my side and putting my hand on either side of his face as I leaned in to kiss him.

"Much better" he conceded, wrapping his arm around my waist as we lay beside one another contentedly. I closed my eyes savoring the moment when I felt some familiar flutters inside my belly. I opened my eyes and looked at Dimitri as I giggled.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who likes what Papa just did to me," I said, watching his eyes widen with shock and then embarrassment.

"What do you mean?" he gasped. "Is the baby kicking?"

"I'm not sure if it's kicking, but there's definite movement," I confirmed looking at Dimitri in amusement.

He dropped his hands to my bump, a look of concentration on his face, but he couldn't feel anything.

"I can barely feel it myself," I consoled him. "It feels like butterflies in my tummy," I described.

"I wish I could feel it," he said. "I can't wait till I can feel him or her kick."

"Well, it looks like we know how to make him or her more active," I joked, giving my Russian God a wicked look.

We cuddled for another half an hour before my need for sustenance forced us out of bed and into the shower. The room we'd been given in Abe's unit was sumptuous and boasted a massive private bathroom. The bed was huge, and _so_ comfortable. I'd been tired by the time we'd arrived last night, so we'd fallen into bed and slept immediately. By force of habit, we'd both woken early, Dimitri feeling nervous. He'd be reporting in at Guardian Headquarters later today.

"What's the plan for today?" I asked, adjusting the taps in the shower before stepping under the warm spray, holding the door open for Dimitri to follow me. Wrapping his arms around me as the water ran over both of us, my Russian God kissed my hair before replying.

"I thought I'd start at the bank and get my accounts and credit card reactivated, that way we'll have access to money. Then I thought I'd get a new phone number and have a haircut before presenting to Guardian Headquarters. I don't think I'll be too long there, so I thought you might like to wait at the pâtisserie which I seem to remember is just around the corner?"

I moaned in appreciation. A pâtisserie sounded like music to my ears. There was no part of leaving a pregnant woman to indulge in sweet baked goods that wasn't appealing! And the new phone number was going to be a necessity. Dimitri had ended up switching his phone off before we'd left campus last night because the calls from Tasha had just kept coming.

We soaped each other down, washing and conditioning one another's hair before drying off and getting dressed. My clothing choices were getting a little limited. I hadn't had a huge wardrobe to begin with, and for practicality, I'd worn a lot of jeans and pants. But my expanding waistline, while still relatively minimal, meant that only my most generous pants still fit. I'd packed pretty much every dress I owned for this trip, but Dimitri had been right. Unless I was going to wear sweats for the next twenty-three weeks, I needed to buy some maternity clothes.

Dimitri was in yoga pants and a shirt. He wouldn't put on his uniform until just before we left in order not to stain or crease it. Together we wandered out of our room and downstairs to the formal lounge, dining, living room and kitchen on the ground floor. As we descended the steps, the delectable scent of breakfast greeted us.

"Good morning Novice Hathaway, Guardian Belikov," a woman around Dimitri's age greeted us. "Can I interest you in a hot breakfast?"

I looked at Dimitri. Sexing had made me hungry.

"Um, sure," I replied. "He'll have one, too," I confirmed seeing my Comrade's nod. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, my name is Alyce," the Dhampir woman introduced herself. "I work as a housekeeper for guests visiting Court," she explained. "I'm here to cook, clean and help make your stay at Court as enjoyable as possible."

"So do you come with the unit?" I asked curiously.

"Kind of. Moroi visiting Court often hire an apartment, and if they don't have domestic staff with them, then they can hire someone like me to cook and clean for them. Some people just want someone to straighten up for an hour or two a day, and others like the full service of having all their favorite meals made, shopping, cleaning, and errands run."

"Have you been doing it long? Do you like it?" I asked.

"Five years and not at first," she admitted. "Some Moroi men think full service means _full service,"_ she said rolling her eyes in disgust as she flipped bacon in the frypan. "But now I have mostly regular clients, and I enjoy it. The hours are generally ok, so I can work while my son is at school. I like cooking, and most of the people I housekeep for aren't pigs, so the cleaning isn't too full on."

"You have a son?" I asked curiously.

"Yes he's seven," she said a little tightly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," I apologized straight away. "I'm pregnant, so I guess kids are kinda interesting to me at the moment," I explained.

"Oh! How far along are you?" she asked, her mood changing entirely as her eyes dropped to the swell at my waist.

"Seventeen weeks," I said with a smile. "In fact, you might be able to help me; you wouldn't happen to know where to shop for maternity stuff around here, would you? I need some pants that actually do up, and probably some dresses and underwear."

"Well there's the main shopping area," she started while moving our eggs, bacon, spinach, and mushrooms across to our plates. "But honestly that's mostly for Moroi. I tried, and there wasn't a _thing_ that fit me when I was expecting," she said gesturing vaguely in the direction of her bust. "And it's all very expensive. There's a much better mall a little further out with a couple of maternity shops, but you'll need a car. It's where most of the Dhampir women buy," she explained. "It's within the wards," she quickly added, correctly interpreting Dimitri's concerned look. "I could take you there today if you'd like?"

"Maybe I could go while you're at headquarters?" I suggested to Dimitri. I knew the idea of accompanying me clothes shopping filled him with dread, although he might enjoy the bra part I thought to myself. And while he thought it would be a quick visit, knowing what I did about his time in Russia, I was willing to bet he'd be at headquarters for hours.

"Go where?" an accented voice asked as Alyce placed our steaming hot breakfasts in front of Dimitri and me.

"Morning Abe," I said shyly. "Alyce said there're some Dhampir maternity shops in a mall a little further out she could take me to."

Abe sat at the table and reached for the cup of black coffee Alyce placed in front of him without being asked.

"What's wrong with the maternity shops in the central shopping area?" he asked.

"The stuff they have is for Moroi women - it probably won't fit," I explained.

"It's _maternity_ wear – surely it'll be big enough?" he asked perplexed.

"Doubtful," I muttered. "Even pregnant, Moroi women don't have big tits!"

Abe nearly choked on his coffee while Dimitri smirked over his breakfast.

"She has a point, Abe," he said his eyes dipping for just a moment to my ample bosom.

"Dimitri needs to go to Guardian Headquarters a little later, so I thought if Alyce was free, maybe she could show me? Or if not if you give me the address I can catch a cab there?" I added, looking at Alyce. "It's within the wards," I reassured Abe.

"That's a great idea. Does that suit you, Alyce? I can hire a town car to transport you if you need one?"

"That's alright. I have my car here as long as you don't mind traveling amongst a sea of kid's toys, Novice Hathaway" she joked.

"Please, it's Rose. And not at all – I'd better get used to it!" I replied.

In a matter of moments, we organized that Dimitri and I would run our errands this morning and that I'd call Alyce when I was free to go shopping.

"Where should we meet?" she queried.

"Dimitri said there's a pâtisserie near Guardian Headquarters – do you know it?" I asked hopefully, trying to work out how to still incorporate a trip there into my day.

"Do I ever!" she grinned. "I think coffee and cake will be required before we leave. Shopping is tiring work – especially when you're expecting."

"Which reminds me – you'll be needing these," Abe said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a cell phone and a credit card. "I believe you presently have no phone. This concerned your father – you need to be able to contact people, particularly now you're pregnant, so he asked me to arrange a new phone for you. It's billed to him, and he said you're to feel free to call whoever you wish without restriction. Similarly, you're to use this credit card to do your shopping. Your father is a very wealthy man, Rose. I know he is deeply unhappy that you've gone without growing up. While he knows it doesn't make up for the past, he wants you to feel free to buy whatever you'd like on this card. Please spoil yourself – it's absolutely what he wants."

* * *

The bank and new cell number tasks had been achieved effortlessly, but it was when we got to the barber that I sensed trouble.

"How would you like it," the barber asked. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was much longer than I usually wore it. Rose stepped forward to speak with the barber.

"It's very long," she said. "Longer than I like it. He has to be able to tie it back," she said, running her delicate fingers through my hair and showing him exactly where on the nape I liked it. "Sometimes it gets a little boofy," she indicated towards the sides. "Do you think you could shape it a little there?"

The two of them discussed it for five minutes. I was moments away from grabbing the scissors and sawing off an inch or two myself when finally the barber started. I read a magazine, not even looking up until he was done. And when I did I had to admit – it was the best haircut I'd had in a long time.

"Do you like it, Comrade?" Rose asked, admiring me in the mirror.

"I do," I admitted with surprise, letting the barber comb it neatly back and using a hair tie to fasten it at my nape.

"You look so sexy," Rose whispered into my ear, giving me a mischievous little look before stepping back as the barber carefully removed the cape, so there'd be no hair on my uniform. "I think it's time," she said encouragingly, taking my hand after I paid.

"It is," I agreed nervously, taking her small hand in mine and walking down the pavement toward Guardian Headquarters. We were almost at the pâtisserie when a voice called out, _"Belikov?!"_

Rose and I spun around, and I saw Guardian Saunders, the leader of the ill-fated mission.

"You're alive?! How?!" he asked clearly stunned.

"Long story and I'm on my way to headquarters now to tell it," I explained. "It would probably save a lot of time if you were to accompany me."

He nodded in surprise.

"Good idea." I could see him looking to where I was holding hands with Roza.

"Guardian Saunders, this is my girlfriend Rose," I said, intentionally not revealing her surname. Everyone knew or knew of Janine Hathaway. If we wanted to keep things quiet, dropping the Hathaway name wouldn't help our cause.

"Pleased to meet you, Guardian Saunders," Rose said pleasantly, giving him one of her most beautiful smiles. The sort of smile that could make grown men turn into piles of goo at her feet. "Comrade? This looks like the pâtisserie you mentioned. I'll wait here for Alyce."

"Ok milaya. Head home with her once you're done, ok? I'll call if I can, but if you need anything, call me. Do you have my new number?" I checked.

"I do," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me a soft kiss. "I love you," she whispered against my lips.

"I love you, too," I said back not caring who saw me kiss the woman I loved. "Shop yourself silly," I encouraged before picking up the bag which held the leather book I'd stolen from Galina's mansion.

* * *

I didn't feel my death. But I must have died – because I was in heaven. Everything about this place was heavenly! From the scent of chocolate and baked goods to the seven-foot-long cabinet filled with sweet treats to the large comfortable looking chairs. Yep. Heaven!

I stood in the entryway waiting to be seated. Requesting a table for two, as soon as I sat, I rang Alyce on the number she'd provided. She agreed to meet me in ten minutes, asking me to order her a Chai Latte. I had no idea what that was, so I decided to stick with a hot chocolate myself. Our drinks arrived a few minutes later, and I was staring in awe at the glass in front of me. No shit - the hot chocolate was made with real melted chocolate coating the inside of the glass. I took a cautious sip, and it tasted even better than it looked. I closed my eyes and moaned in satisfaction. Hearing a chuckle, I opened my eyes to find myself staring into a pair of deep green eyes.

"My my little Dhampir," a young Moroi in his early twenties said, giving me an appraising look. With artfully messy brown hair and well-tailored clothes, he was wickedly good-looking, and he knew it.

"I'm sure a lot of men would love to hear you moan like that. How about you give me a chance, and I'll make you do it all evening?" he said suggestively. It was crass, but something about the way he said it made me feel he was laughing at himself more than he was laughing at me.

"Bug off," a voice behind him said, and I looked to see Alyce standing behind him rolling her eyes. "I've seen her boyfriend, and he'd pound you into a lump without raising a sweat."

"Such a shame. It's not often I find one so pretty with a friend who has so much Spirit. What a bond you must have," he muttered to himself, his gaze looking a little addled. I shivered, and he excused himself with a small bow.

"Who was that?" I whispered after he'd walked away.

"Just Court's self-appointed God's gift to women," Alyce laughed rolling her eyes. "I see you waited to order sweets until I got here," she said launching into conversation as though we'd been best friends all our lives. "First up you need to try..."


	45. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 22

Running into Saunders had been a stroke of luck. I'd wondered how to play this, but his company would make things easier.

"What I have to say should only be heard by the most trusted people," I explained.

He nodded.

"It's going to be a hell of a story, isn't it?" he mused.

"Yep," I acknowledged with a grim smile.

"I have to ask – are you the only one to make it out?"

"I'm afraid so," I said. He nodded, but I saw the flash of sorrow cross his face.

"My brother…" he explained.

"I'm so sorry," I said. We both understood.

We walked through the foyer at Headquarters and Saunders swiped us through into the back part of the building. He swiped us through several other doors before we were finally in a long corridor. There were various doors, but he stopped at Guardian Mitchell Erskine's. A controversial choice to replace Schoenberg as Head of the Guardian Council when he'd retired, the word was Erskine was completely out of his depth. Saunders knocked twice, and the voices on the other side of the door stopped.

"Enter," a deep voice intoned. Saunders opened the door, and we both stepped into the room.

"Belikov! What the hell?" It was Art Schoenberg. For a usually unflappable guy, he was looking pretty astonished. "I had to tell your girl you were dead. I hope you've let her know otherwise?!"

"I have. She's here at Court with me. Shopping," I said with a grin, shaking his hand before clapping each other on the back. Saunders shot me a surprised look putting two and two together. Erskine was staring at me curiously, so Art made the introductions.

"Erskine, this is Belikov. He was one of those thought captured in Saunders' mission. Belikov, Guardian Mitchell Erskine – Head of the Guardian Council."

I nodded my head politely.

Indicating for us to sit, Art looked at me and asked, "So what the hell happened?"

"Well, I was captured and taken to the Strigoi army's manor," I started.

"The one that burnt down?" Erskine interrupted. If he did this every minute, we were going to be here for hours.

"Yes. I'll get to that," I explained. "In a nutshell, I was captured and held there for five weeks. I knew the Strigoi in charge from when she was a Guardian, and she gave me a choice; be turned or be killed. She gave me five weeks to decide, during which time I scoped out the manor. Last Friday, which is the day I was to be turned, there was a meeting of her full army at the manor. I destroyed the mansion with them all inside it and escaped."

"Did you kill many?" Erskine said looking at me with an inscrutable expression.

"I believe the entire army was killed," I said. "Around a thousand."

"There were a _thousand?_ " Erskine said raising his eyebrows. Saunders also looked surprised. Their estimates had indicated more like two hundred.

"About that," I confirmed. "This had all been going on for much longer than was perhaps thought."

Over the next hour, I went through everything with them. The scouting party, being captured, the Guardian and Moroi observation rooms, what I had learned during my time at the manor, and finally my escape.

"I'm not sure if it's complete, but this ledger was outside the Dhampir and Moroi observation rooms. It outlines those turned and those killed."

Art and Erskine looked at it, noting the date of the first entries. By far the sharper of the two, Schoenberg asked, "I see it indicates deceased or awakened. How was it decided who was turned?"

I took a breath finally making the decision that had plagued me ever since I'd first taken the book. Many of these Dhampir had been sent unwillingly into battle, knowing they were going to die. I couldn't blame a man for making the decision that he wanted to continue some sort of life rather than dying in terror as the feedbag for a bunch of hungry Strigoi. Either way, they were dead now - and their families deserved the comfort of believing their sons died heroes.

"I'm not entirely sure. They'd observe the captives for three or four days then some were turned, the others killed. Because Galina recognized my name, she pulled me out of the observation dorm after only a few hours, so I'm not across all the intricacies of it," I said, following my lies with truth.

"So after you escaped?" Erskine queried.

"I went to my family's house in Baia about six hours away. I had nothing on me other than the ledger and what I was wearing. I stopped at my family's house a few hours to eat, shower and book flights to the States. I flew here via my last allocation at St. Vladimir's so I could pick up clothing, my stakes, and other personal items."

Art looked at me. He knew I'd flown straight back to Roza, but the twinkle in his eye hinted that he understood.

"The garrison in Moscow received a call about the fire. Was that you?" Erskine asked suspiciously.

"Yes, it was. As the head garrison in Russia, I knew they'd have a list of all Guardians close enough to make sure the manor was rubble by nightfall. I take it that's what happened?"

"It is," Art confirmed.

I nodded in relief.

"You should have stayed and made your report," Erskine said, focusing on the admittedly significant break in Guardian protocol. "We would have brought you straight back here."

"Mitchell, the man killed a thousand Strigoi, had the presence of mind to bring out proof of those taken and made sure the garrison knew to finish destroying the place. I think we can agree that in such a unique situation, novel decisions might need to be made," Art rebuked in exasperation.

Erskine nodded, backing down.

"You're right. Belikov is a hero, and we should acknowledge that. Perhaps a formal reception?"

"No!" Art and I both said at the same time, Saunders nodding in agreement with us.

Art went first.

"A celebration will indicate just how serious the threat was and how close it came to succeeding. It may well cause panic amongst Moroi, and might give others ideas on how to move against us in the future," he argued.

"I agree. And a Guardian known to have killed a thousand Strigoi might as well kill himself now," I stated. "Every Strigoi will want to have a go at taking him down. Plus no one will want to be guarded by someone who's a target for Strigoi. Any public acknowledgment is going to take away my livelihood, and I have a family to support," I explained. Art gave me a shrewd look. He knew I wasn't talking about my relatives in Baia.

"So what do you suggest?" Erskine asked me levelly.

"I'd be happy with a Zvezda, a couple of paid weeks off and help finding a suitable new allocation," I admitted.

"And a spot on the Guardian Council," Art suggested, looking at Erskine. "He's the youngest ever Blood Master Seven, plus he knows more about this operation than anyone so his insight into how Strigoi are adapting might be useful. He's probably killed more Strigoi than everyone else in this building put together, and he's had experience private guarding across two countries, guarding a high profile charge, leading a retrieval team, mentoring and working at an Academy. I think his skills and experience would be invaluable, and I intend to nominate him for Hogan's position when he steps down at the next meeting," Art informed him.

Now that was a surprise and completely unexpected. Being on the Guardian Council was a tremendous honor. I nodded to Art, acknowledging the compliment he was paying me.

"Thanks, Art. Right now, though, I need to focus on getting a new allocation."

"Of course. Erskine, I'll go with Belikov to see what's currently available. I think we can all agree he's earned his choice of where to next?" he asked the other men, both of whom nodded.

Art, Saunders and I stood, shaking hands with Erskine.

"Belikov? You got time for a coffee first?" Art asked, giving me a look that told me he wanted to talk. Saunders nodded, bidding us farewell.

"Sure thing," I replied. "What about that pâtisserie around the corner?"

My eyes scanned the shop as we walked in, but Rose was no longer there. I hadn't expected her to be, but my woman did have a liking for pastries and treats, and I hadn't missed the way her eyes had lit up like Christmas when I'd mentioned this place. Quickly seated, Schoenberg looked at me with amusement.

"So. Daddy, eh?"

"Yep!" I said with a huge grin.

"You'll need to come up with a story," he said. "If anyone finds out two Dhampir…"

"I know," I groaned. "We just need to go somewhere where no one has too many questions… I'm starting to think we might have to disappear into the human world for a while; come back in a year or so with the child. Rose has lived in the human world before when she was on the run with the Princess, so I know she'll be able to handle it. But it will be hard for her to be away from all her supports, especially with a baby."

"See what's on offer allocations wise. Maybe something will crop up? Would you consider overseas?"

"At this stage, I'll consider anything, Art. I just want to get Rose settled and comfortable as soon as possible. Her blood pressure is high, and I don't want her stressing out about where we're going to live or affording things for the baby. Of course, Tasha isn't helping with her blood pressure."

"Tasha Ozera?" he queried. "She was there when I told the Princess about your reallocation. She seems very taken with you… Alberta said she has a whole fantasy love built up. Do you think she's going to be a problem?"

"Absolutely," I sighed. "She's another good reason just to get out of here. If Rose didn't have to graduate, I'd leave now. Disappear into the human world without a trace."

"Could you negotiate something with the school? Let her do her exams remotely or something like that?" he asked.

"With the pregnancy and everything else, I think they've already been a lot more accommodating than we have reason to expect," I admitted. "I'm stunned they didn't just expel her."

"Dimitri, after what you pulled off in Russia, you're in a position to call in some very big favors. Work out what you need – Erskine and I can make the calls to make it happen."

"Thanks, Art," I said gratefully. "I may need to take you up on that."

* * *

"Surely I won't need anything that big?" I gasped in alarm, looking at the maternity pants Alyce was holding up.

"You will if you keep eating like you did at the pâtisserie earlier," Alyce chortled. We'd been shopping for what seemed like hours and were now making our final selections. Alyce had been hugely helpful as a shopping companion. She'd matched my gestation with the sizing so I'd have the right sized clothing for the season. She also asked about upcoming events like my graduation and graduation dance I needed to buy for.

"You might as well get the stuff now. You won't feel like shopping later on and this way it's all ready for you."

Since I'd be heavily pregnant over summer, we'd bought a lot of floaty maxi dresses with cute cardigans if I needed extra warmth. She'd also insisted on a couple of maternity bathing suits. I'd argued there was no way I'd be going near a swimming pool once my bump was any bigger. She assured me that once it was hot and I was more heavily pregnant, my give a shit factor would reach zero.

Giving that particular pair of maternity pants a miss, we were in the second last store when my thoughts turned to Dimitri. He hadn't called, and I was a little worried; it had been ages since he'd left me at the pâtisserie. Almost as though thinking about him made him think of me, my phone pinged.

 _Reported in at headquarters. All well. Bumped into Art Schoenberg and having coffee before checking out available allocations. I miss you, milaya. Love your Comrade._

I smiled before quickly texting back, _Miss you too, Comrade. Am buying underwear. There are so many choices – any requests? Love Roza xoxo_

The phone was silent for about ten seconds before it pinged back, _RED! I love you in red lace._

I smiled. Red lace it was then! I was actually surprised at the selection available and that some of it was downright sexy!

"Maternity underwear has come a long way," Alyce said noticing my surprise. "Come on – let's get you fitted."

" _Fitted_?!" I gasped.

"Yes fitted. Don't be shy, if you plan to breastfeed you'll need to get used to whipping your breasts out…"

I hadn't thought about that.

"Is it hard? Breastfeeding?" I asked apprehensively.

"It was easy for me, but every woman is different. I found it convenient – anywhere we went I had what was needed for him," she explained. "And I didn't have much money when he was born, so it was also cheaper!"

I thought about it. I liked the idea of breastfeeding Junior. The book I'd been reading stressed the health benefits, so I decided to at least give it a go. So I got fitted for a range of wire-free and nursing bras, and I had to say the moment I tried one on I regretted not getting one earlier. They were so comfortable! I got a few practical nudes, beiges, blacks, and whites. And then I bought quite a lot of sexy ones in bright colors, but mostly reds.

"Red's a good color for you," Alyce acknowledged.

"It's Dimitri's favorite," I said with a naughty smile.

"Guardian Belikov?"

I nodded.

"So what's the go there? You're together, but you're also pregnant…"

I'd been waiting for this question.

"There was always something between us, but he was my mentor at school, so we never went there. He was reallocated but came back, and I was pregnant and alone. He always wanted to be a Dad, and he's not my mentor anymore, so we're together now. As far as he's concerned, he's the father in every way."

"Wow you're lucky," she said. "I mean the guy is sex on a stick and you can tell he adores you!"

"I adore him, too. I mean, it's complicated with me still at school and all that – but we'll figure it out."

After insisting I buy a couple of large but lovely kimono style dressing gowns and what seemed to be an industrial supply of breast pads, Alyce declared us done, which is just as well as I was close to reaching saturation point. I was trying to subtly suggest heading home, but Alyce suggested one last stop.

"Have you bought anything for the baby yet?" she asked.

"Not a thing," I admitted shyly.

"You've already given the credit card a beating," she laughed, looking at the shopping cart we had to use to accommodate everything I'd bought. "Why don't you pick up some things for the baby? Just a special outfit or two? Come on – this place has the cutest stuff," she cajoled steering me through into the babywear store. And maybe it was the hormones or, well, I don't know. But I wanted to buy everything!

Since we didn't know the gender, I settled for some cute little newborn outfits in unisex designs and colors, including the sweetest little newborn onesie with 'Mama's Little Guardian' on it. I guess there was an advantage in shopping in a Dhampir area of town - because I'm willing to bet none of the Moroi babywear shops were going to stock that!

Back at the car Alyce and I started the not inconsiderable task of packing everything inside. We used the whole trunk and the backseat but finally got it all in.

"Don't worry – the guys can unpack it at the other end," Alyce assured. "Although you'll probably need a new suitcase or two to get it back to school with you."

School. I was nervous about going back. I knew once I was there the chances of Dimitri having to leave were high. He couldn't stay with me there forever. He'd probably need to start at his new allocation, and I had to stay and graduate. Suddenly my good mood from shopping was gone, and I just wanted to go back to the unit and have a good cry.

It didn't take too long to get back to the guest quarters, but when I did Abe was waiting.

"Did you have a good day, Rose? Shop up a storm?" he asked kindly. His face was a picture of confusion when I burst into tears.

"He's going to leave me. I want to share all this with him, and he's going to go away," I wailed.

"Who is?" Abe asked perplexed.

"Dimitri," I wailed, throwing myself on the sofa and burying my face in my arm. "He's going to leave me!"

I heard what sounded like swearing in another language and then Abe demanded, "Pavel – find Belikov. If he's already taken off, bring the bastard back."

I didn't understand what was going on. I was about to ask what was happening when Pavel announced, "I've just tried to call him - his mobile's been disconnected."

Abe looked furious and was starting to bark instructions in another language when the door opened and in walked my Russian God.

He looked at impassive Pavel, angry Abe and me crying and then he exploded.

"What have you said to her? You know she's meant to stay calm! Why are you upsetting her?!" he demanded, walking over to where I was sitting on the sofa.

"What's wrong, milaya?" he asked soothingly, sitting beside me and scooping me into his arms.

"I don't want you to leave," I whimpered, cuddling in against his chest.

"What? It's not me. She's upset you've decided to abandon her!" Abe growled looking truly terrifying.

"I'm not leaving!" Dimitri exclaimed. "Milaya?! What makes you think I'm going anywhere?"

"When we get back to school. You'll have to go on a new allocation and leave me," I cried. "I had three and a half months without you. I don't think I can do it again."

Dimitri put his fingers under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Roza. Do you hear me? If I have to take the next two months off and live in a tent just outside campus grounds, I am not going to leave you. Please don't stress. I'll find a way for us to stay together, do you hear? I love you. I love our baby. I don't want to be apart ever again."

His eyes shone with love and sincerity, and I gave him a sheepish little smile.

"I'm sorry. I think it's the hormones. I'm just so teary at the moment," I moaned.

"I know darling. Now did you take your blood pressure when you were out today?" he asked.

"I did," I said proudly, showing him the readings I'd recorded on my phone. He quickly studied them.

"They look ok. It's probably going to be way up, but you're due for another one now."

I took out the cuff and placed it around my arm the way Dr. Olendzki had shown me. Sure enough, the reading was through the roof.

"Milaya!" he remonstrated. "You need to stay calm. The whole reason I brought you here was to rest and not worry."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "It's just everything's such a mess. I just wish everything was settled."

"I know," he soothed. "I'm working on it. Now I saw Alyce's car on the way in, and it looks packed. Pavel, could you ask the Guardians to help Rose? You can tell them which packages you want to bring in here to show Abe and I and which ones you want to be taken upstairs to our room," he suggested.

I nodded, keen to show him the little things I'd bought for Junior. I knew Abe probably had to report on my spending to my father, but Dimitri was right; some things, like the underwear, could go straight upstairs.

I stood up and brushed my lips against his.

"I love you," I told him. "And you wait till you see what I bought for Junior!"

* * *

As soon as she went outside with Pavel and the Guardians, I turned to face Abe.

"Abe I appreciate everything you're doing for us, but you can't let her get upset like that. And in case I didn't make it clear enough yesterday, I'm not going anywhere!"

"Then why was your phone disconnected?" he demanded.

"Remember I talked about needing to get Rose off campus? It's because I have a stalker. A Moroi woman. She stalked my late charge, and now she has this entire relationship between she and me invented in her mind. She's the one who told the whole school Rose is pregnant, and she knows I'm back from my allocation and has been ringing incessantly. When Rose and I were out this morning, I got a new number. Rose has it, and I'll give it to you and Pavel."

"You think this woman is a threat to Rose?" he asked cold as ice.

"Last time she attacked my charge's new girlfriend, so yes. I'm worried enough to want Rose off campus."

"So any news on an allocation?" he asked. "You were going to headquarters today, weren't you?"

"Yes. I had a meeting there and looked at the current log of allocations. There's nothing even remotely suitable," I grumbled. "I thought of taking her home to Russia, but I feel it would be too much for her. She wants to deliver her baby in America with her own doctor if she can. Besides, Tasha knows where I live, and you know how small Baia is; there'd be no escaping her. I'm starting to think the only solution might be the human world, at least for a while."

Abe raised his eyebrows. "It's a big step."

"I know," I sighed. "But the hours and conditions of most Guardian allocations just aren't conducive to helping her as she becomes a mother."

Rose walked back in then, followed by four Guardians each carrying a mountain of parcels.

"It looks like more than it is," she assured Abe nervously, "but I didn't get that much. Although there's also quite a bit of underwear upstairs."

"Don't worry," he said reassuringly. "You can go out again tomorrow and again the day after if needs be and get more," he added, completely misunderstanding her concern.

I laughed and pulled her onto my lap.

"What do you want to show us first?" I asked, sitting surrounded by bags and parcels.

Alyce came in and helped go through all the bags. I had to hand it to them – they'd done a great job. Rose showed how almost everything she'd bought was mix and match, and explained that a lot of the dresses and cardigans could still be worn once she was no longer pregnant.

"It looks like you had fun," I commented, loving the happiness on her face.

"I did," she said with surprise. "I've never liked shopping before, but then it was mostly Lissa buying me what she wanted to see me in. It was so much fun to be able to choose what I want," she said with excitement. "Abe please thank my father and tell him I really appreciate it."

"I'll let him know," he promised, giving Rose an indulgent smile.

"Now close your eyes, Papa," she said, looking at me with excited eyes. "And put out your hands…"

I did as I was bid, and felt a scrap of fabric drop into my hands. I opened my eyes to see a baby's sleepsuit with 'Mama's Little Guardian' printed on it. I looked up, and my Roza was gazing at me expectantly.

"Oh Roza," I whispered overflowing with my love for her and our child. I pulled her against me and kissed her tenderly.


	46. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 23

I still couldn't believe the little bitch had somehow convinced Dimka the kid was his. I mean for fuck's sake – the guy had always been so smart. All I could say is she must be a demon in the sack if she'd managed to make him forget that Dhampir couldn't reproduce together. I growled to myself pushing that thought away. I didn't want to think about that bitch with my Dimka, but especially not the two of them in bed together.

When Christian had called to tell me Dimka had survived his mission and was back, I knew it was a sign from God that I was being given a second chance. _We_ had been given a second chance. I'd loved him so long and so well – it was our time to be together. It was going to be perfect! He would come live with me in Minneapolis, and we could teach together. I'd wanted to start my own studio for a while now, and between the two of us, we could manage it. We'd have to spend a year or so building up the business, but then Dimka could take over the classes while I took time off to have our baby.

With Lissa and Christian at Lehigh, we'd be able to fly down to spend weekends with them and perhaps they'd like to visit us over their Christmas break? My current unit would be too small, but there was a gorgeous little house I drove past on my way to the studio every day that was up for sale. It had a big front porch and a beautiful shaded front garden perfect for our little one to play in. It needed a bit of work, but Dimitri had always been handy.

I sighed with contentment, already picturing decorating the nursery together, cooking side by side in our kitchen, going to bed together every night then Dimka keeping himself busy between my thighs. Everything was going to be _perfect;_ as soon as I got the little bitch out of the way.

I'd been trying to ring Dimka ever since Christian had told me he was back, but his phone was always off or rang out. I bet the bitch didn't want him talking to me. But I kept trying. I knew eventually, he'd be able to slip away from her and speak with me. I pressed redial, expecting to yet again hear the phone was switched off, so I was surprised when I got a different message. His phone had been disconnected! That cow! I bet she was behind this. She was always trying to get between Dimka and me!

I quickly dialed another number. Christian's. It also rang out. How _dare_ he?! I had raised that boy like my own! I'd fought against my brother and sister in law to protect him. I'd been disfigured, given up all my twenties and part of my thirties to raise and support him, and the ingrate wouldn't even take my call? I'd show him. I'd show them _all_ that Tasha Ozera was not a woman to be messed with.

Getting a chair from my kitchenette, I stood on it and reached up to the top of my wardrobe to get my small travel suitcase. Quickly stocking it with pants, jeans, and tops I added my sexiest lingerie as well. One look at me in my underwear and Rose would look like a little girl playing dress-ups in Mommy's clothes. Sure she had the hips and bust I lacked, but I had the figure of a supermodel – and isn't that what _all_ men wanted?! I was just grabbing my toiletries from the tiny bathroom when my phone rang. I grabbed it off my bed, recognizing Christian's number.

"Sorry I missed your call," he said amiably. "I was in the library, and the librarian goes psycho if we answer our phones in there. What's up?"

I listened carefully to his voice. He seemed genuine.

"Same old," I said casually. "Just ringing to see how you and Lissa are."

"Yeah, we're good. Drowning in assignments but with only two months of school, you'd expect that. I think I'm eating, sleeping and breathing schoolwork at the moment," he grumbled.

"Sounds like you need to have some fun," I said.

"Don't I know it."

"So I keep trying to call Dimka, and he never answers," I said casually. "Is he still around on campus?"

"Yeah, I saw him earlier. I think he must be on ward duty, because he was way off in the distance walking towards the edge of campus."

"Are you sure it was him?" I asked.

"Not many guys that tall wearing a jacket like his around the Academy, Tasha," Christian joked.

"You've got a point," I laughed. Good! He was still there! "What about the lying bitch? Is she still all over him?"

"Haven't seen her today," Christian said, "but before lunch, the Dhampir are in practical lessons, and we're in our magic classes. Not that she does the combat lessons anymore."

What? That was news.

"Why's that?" I asked curiously.

"They accelerated her program or something. Because of the baby. I heard she's already passed the combat section of her finals, so is now only doing theory subjects in the afternoons."

"Don't know why they're helping the little bitch. They should have expelled her on the spot. I mean no one's ever going to want her to guard them while she's got her little bastard in tow, are they? _'Sorry just wait a moment, can you? I have to put the baby down before I can kill that Strigoi…'"_ I mocked.

"Yeah absolutely," Christian laughed, but he sounded a little off.

"What?" I asked. "Don't tell me you've developed a soft spot for her?" I demanded.

"Hardly!" he said. "I'm just a bit worried about Lissa. Rose and Dimitri were the ones slated to guard her at Lehigh, but that's obviously not going to happen now. She thought maybe her other Guardian, Matthews, might step in, but when she asked her today, she said she's not putting in for reallocation."

"Lissa can request her anyway. She's the last Dragomir – if she specifically asks for her, I'm sure they'll make it happen. She's _Royal_ Christian. So are you. Don't forget that still means something…"

He sighed.

"I know," he said in a tone that suggested he didn't.

"Anyway – it's 9 am, here. I need to get to work," I said, using my cheeriest voice. "Christian – are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. Just a lot of schoolwork. And starting to worry about the future, you know?"

I smiled. I did know. He was a good boy. He deserved a nice place to visit when he came home for the holidays.

"Don't stress. Things have a way of working themselves out," I reassured him before ringing off.

I made two more phone calls. One to work to resign effective immediately, and another to the real estate agent who had that little house listed. I arranged to meet them there in half an hour. That would give me time to finish packing and fuel the car. It was a solid two days drive to the Academy, but it would be cheaper to drive, and I'd need a car once I was there. Things _did_ have a way of working themselves out. But sometimes they needed a little bit of a nudge in the right direction. Christian was off to college soon. It was time for the next phase of my life to begin. The stage I was going to spend with Dimka.

* * *

"I think it's perfect," Pavel mumbled when the realtor was out of earshot. "Or will be with a bit of work. But do you really intend to spend any time here, or is just an excuse to give her somewhere safe to live?"

"Most of the old families are basing themselves in the US now," I said, considering Pavel's words. "So there's more and more business to be done here, and you know the problems I've had trusting some of our American associates. Having a permanent US base would help with that. I mean, Europe will always be home, but I've been itching for a new adventure. I can see myself spending at least a third of the year here."

"Ok. So what about the boyfriend?" Pavel asked.

"What of him?" I asked, knowing what he meant.

"Well, do you think he's going to stick around? Do you _want_ him to stick around?"

I sighed. It was the same question I'd been asking myself. I'd had every possible background check run on him, and it was the same story over and over; he was an exemplary young man respected by all his peers. He owed no money. In fact, had been single-handedly supporting his family in Baia ever since he graduated. He didn't gamble, had no reputation for violence outside of his work, didn't drink to excess, and the women he'd dated all described him as honest, thoughtful and a skilled generous lover. In fact, the only questions I had were how did a man well known for his discipline and self-control end up sleeping with and impregnating my seventeen-year-old daughter, and why did his bank account recently get a one-hundred million ruble deposit from an account that had proved to be completely untraceable?

"I'm still making up my mind. What do you think of him?" I asked Pavel curiously. The guy had been with me years and was one of the most astute judges of character I knew.

Pavel pondered for a moment.

"I want to distrust him, but somehow I don't. I get the feeling he cares about her deeply. I also feel he has a really strong sense of ethics and is a hard worker."

"I get that feeling, too. But how does a guy with strong ethics end up screwing his seventeen-year-old student?" I asked, not able to put it together.

"Maybe you need to ask him?" Pavel suggested.

Sometimes Pavel was more help than he realized. He'd suggested asking Belikov about it. I thought it would be much more telling to ask Rose, and I said as much.

"Let's bring them out here. I'd be interested in their reactions to the place," I said. "I'd like to come in daylight so we can get a really good look."

* * *

It was midnight Wednesday, and we had the unit to ourselves. Abe, Pavel and most of the Guardians had gone out somewhere, the remaining two Guardians were stationed outside. Alyce had gone to buy ingredients for dinner, and I was standing at the kitchen counter making Rose and I toasted cheese sandwiches for lunch.

I needed to talk with her. I needed to tell her more about Russia. About Galina and also about the money. I'd been putting it off - mostly because I didn't want to upset her. I wanted her to be reassured about my love and affection before I told her an undead woman worth possibly billions had wanted to bed me - even if it _had_ been about power and not love. And I also wanted to explore my options for finding an allocation before I told her about the money and why I'd hoped to give most if not all of it to my family. However I'd spent a couple of hours at allocations again this morning, and it was starting to look as though it was going to have to be the human world – and I needed to let her know how this was going to be possible without relying on her father's money.

The sandwiches on the pan, I reminded her to take her blood pressure. It had come down after her freak out with Abe yesterday, but I needed to keep an eye on it. It was still within range, which was a relief. I served her lunch, and we ate mostly in silence. I was nervous and wanted to prepare myself for what I needed to say.

"So are you going to spit it out, or do I need to drag it out of you, Comrade?" Rose finally asked.

I couldn't help but smile. She could read me like a book.

"I have something to show you and then some things to tell you," I said. "Wait here."

I went back upstairs to our room, fetching the well-wrapped item I'd brought in my luggage. I sat on the sofa, gesturing for her to sit beside me.

"Milaya? You know how I brought the ledger out with me? From the manor? Well, I brought something else, too." Without waiting for her reply, I unwrapped what I'd stolen from the mansion.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, looking at me uncertainly.

"Yes. Yes, it is. But that's not why I took it," I said looking at the exquisite cup and saucer sitting on the coffee table.

"When Galina first called me to her in the mansion, she was drinking from a cup from this tea service. She had the whole set and I can remember thinking I could work as a Guardian for my entire life and never earn enough to buy even a cup from that tea service."

Rose looked at me, unsure where I was going with this.

"When Galina asked me to turn, she intended to make me her second," I continued.

"Yes. You told me that."

"What I didn't mention is that she also wanted me to be her lover," I said, watching her face carefully.

"But she was your mentor! That's gross!" Rose gasped. "Once she was Strigoi I mean," she quickly added realizing what she'd said.

I gave her a small smile.

"During the five weeks I was there, I had to let her think I was coming around to the idea of being turned. I had to do things I didn't like," I said tightly. Rose looked confused for a moment, and then comprehension dawned.

"Did you have sex with her?" she asked me in a flat voice.

" _Hell_ no!" I said instantly.

"Then how far did it go?" she asked me beseechingly. "I'm not going to blame you – but I need to know."

I nodded and told her everything. The touching and the biting.

"The worst thing is, I liked it," I whispered in a tortured voice. "The biting. Afterward, she'd have them take me back to my suite, and I'd lie there and could almost believe we were together. The venom made my dreams of you seem so real."

She nodded. She was taking this better than I'd expected.

"And the touching. The worst of it was that time when you served her breakfast?" she checked.

"Yes. It was gross, and the worst thing is I had to try and pretend to enjoy it."

"What did you do?" she queried.

"I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it was you," I told her honestly.

"And then a week later you killed the bitch?"

"That's right," I confirmed.

She looked at me, playing things over through her mind.

"Alright. I'm ok with that," she announced.

I lifted an eyebrow.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Comrade, I said to do whatever it took. I'm not thrilled some undead bitch touched you in a way that made you uncomfortable, but I don't feel it's any betrayal of me," she explained.

"Thank you, Roza. It's been bugging me you not knowing," I said giving her a relieved grin, feeling as though a skyscraper had just been lifted from my shoulders.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" she asked playfully.

"Yeah, there is," I said. "It also has to do with trying to convince Galina I was genuinely thinking about being turned. At one stage, she asked me if I had any questions or requests, and I tried to think as I would had I been considering it as an option," I explained. "She didn't know about you, and I was keen to keep it that way, so I said I was worried about how my family would cope without my financial support. You know my wage is basically their only income."

She nodded encouragingly.

"She said she'd make a generous payment to them to mark me being turned. A way to ensure they'd be looked after even when I was no longer there to provide a wage for them. I'd asked her to schedule it for the day before I was turned, in case it was no longer important to me once I was Strigoi. I wasn't sure whether she'd follow through – but that night in Baia after I'd escaped, I'd discovered she had. She'd deposited one-hundred million rubles in my account."

"A _hundred million_?" Rose gasped in amazement.

" _Rubles_ , milaya. So about one and a half million US dollars. Still a fortune," I agreed. "It had been my intention to gift it all to my mother. I support the whole family, and with Sonya pregnant, it's soon to be eight. It would be a relief not to have to worry about providing for them again."

" _Had_ been your intention?"

"I've been looking over the allocations, milaya. There's just nothing suitable. It's not that I'm picky," I assured her. "They're either guarding positions where I'd be moving around constantly at the whim of my charge, or a Court position where I could be working sixteen hours a day, and for so little I'd only be able to have you live a long way outside of Court, and it would only be practical for me to see the two of you on my days off."

As I'd expected, Rose was looking teary.

"So I thought maybe it's best we take some of the money to establish ourselves in the human world? It wouldn't have to be forever, but it seems like right now it might be the best option?"

"Where? What would we do?" She didn't sound scared, more perplexed.

"Well, that's for us to talk about. I'm not saying this is the way it has to be – I'm putting it out there as an option."

"What other ideas did you have?"

"Well I seriously considered going to Baia – but there's not a lot to do for work there. Also while I know my family would _adore_ you, I worried about you not being able to speak the language and knowing no one but my family. Also, Baia is a tiny town. If Tasha followed us there, there'd be no hiding."

She looked at me nodding.

"We knew it wasn't going to be easy, didn't we Comrade?" she said nervously but with conviction.

"We did, Roza," I said taking her hands in mine and looking into her eyes with the promise of a lifetime of devotion.

"So why did you take the cup?" she finally asked.

"It was to remind me never to be afraid to do what is right," I explained. "Had I taken Galina's offer, I would have had wealth beyond imagination. But I knew it wasn't right."

We were still sitting on the sofa, me stroking Roza's baby bump, she drinking herbal tea from a cup and saucer worth more than the building we sat in when Abe came home.

"Belikov? I was wondering whether I could get your opinion a little later? I've been looking for property surrounding Court as a base for my US operations, and I think I've found something suitable. I'll get a building surveyor out – but you know how Guardians are accommodated over here and what they expect. I was hoping you could look it over for me tonight and let me know whether you think it could be made into something suitable?"

"I'm not sure I'm any expert, but I'd be happy to take a look," I replied.

"Great! I thought we'd go just after sun up? Rose? Would you like to come? It's only a twenty-minute drive, and we won't be there for long."

"Yeah I'd love to," she said.

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging around the unit. The baby was particularly active, according to Rose, although try as I might I still couldn't feel it from the outside. We'd been reading the baby book together, and it said it could probably hear things by now, so I lay on the couch with my head in Roza's lap speaking to the baby. I felt a little foolish uttering my hopes and dreams for it, so I did it in Russian knowing Rose wouldn't know what I was saying. She sat there stroking my hair and texting various people our new phone numbers.

"Should I give mine to Lissa?" she asked clearly in two minds about it.

"Do you think you can trust her?" I asked, planning to leave the decision up to her.

"Yeah. I mean things still aren't great between us, but I think she's learned her lesson. I'll call her and tell her not to hand it out and to store it in her phone under a different name," she decided.

I lay there stroking Rose's bump while she rang Lissa. The conversation seemed to go well, although Christian did ask to speak to me about a call he'd received from Tasha.

"She sounded normal," he said. "Too normal. She asked if you two were on campus and I said yes. I expected her to pump me for more details, but she didn't. It just seemed odd."

I thanked him and asked him to tell Alberta and to get Lissa to call Rose should anything else happen. Rose seemed flat after the call.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"Just it's my birthday on Saturday, and for the first time I won't be celebrating it with Lissa," she said.

"Do you want to?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"I don't know. We had all these plans for our eighteenths, and now none of it is happening. And I can't even get drunk because I'm pregnant."

My heart clenched a little. Something else taken from her because I hadn't been able to keep my dick in my pants at least until she'd graduated.

"I'm sorry, Roza," I whispered.

"It's ok," she reassured me. "Back when I made those plans I didn't know I'd have you to spend my eighteenth with."

I still felt like shit, though. I'd got her pregnant, inadvertently destroyed the closest relationship she'd ever had and now it looked like the only way I could provide for her and our baby was to take her away from everyone she knew. I could spend the rest of my life trying to atone for the damage my love had brought Rose, and as far as I was concerned, it still wouldn't be enough.

We were both quiet over dinner, both of us lost in our thoughts. And as well as all my other thoughts, I was also trying to come up with the perfect eighteenth birthday present. All the usual things didn't seem suitable in her current situation – but as possibly the only one to get her something to mark the occasion, I knew I had to come up with the goods.

At 8 am we piled into a van with Abe, Pavel, and half a dozen Guardians. It was light out, so security-wise it was relatively safe. As Abe promised, it was an easy twenty-minute drive to the property he was considering. He pulled up outside an imposing home set within a clearing but surrounded by pine trees, ferns, and mountain laurel.

"The décor is a little dated," he was saying to Rose and me, ushering us all out of the van, "but I'd get a decorator and contractors out to modernize that. Ideally, I'd be looking to live here for a third to half of the year, and I'd leave a small permanent Guardian team stationed here to maintain the residence and take care of tasks in my absence."

"That must be expensive?" Rose said thoughtfully.

"Yes and no. I far prefer to have my own space, and it's often advantageous to do business away from the prying eyes at Court. I travel with my own group of Guardians," he said gesturing to Pavel and the other Guardians, accompanying him, "but the Guardian accommodations in rented accommodations are not always the best. As I'm spending more and more time at Court, it's time to buy a place here," he concluded.

We looked inside, and Abe was right; if you could look past the dated décor, the bones of the house were good. I checked the wiring and plumbing, all of which seemed sound. A quick check of the attic proved the roof was watertight and likewise the basement was crack free and dry.

"Structurally it appears ok," I said. "A couple of things layout wise I'd alter – for example, that laundry is in an awkward place. I'd be inclined to turn that into a butlers pantry and move the laundry to the other side of the hallway where you could have an external door added to a fenced service area. Similarly, I'd switch the formal lounge and dining areas. But overall I think it has potential."

Abe nodded thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't have thought of that, but you're right – that would work much better and would make the kitchen more workable. You have a good eye for this Belikov. Come look at the Guardian quarters would you?"

The Guardians were walking the fencelines, inspecting them for breaks or weak spots. Abe, Pavel, Rose and I were wandering from building to building, Pavel carefully opening and closing the doors with a bundle of keys the real estate agent had provided.

We walked across the undergrowth to an adjacent building. Already kitted out to accommodate Guardians, it was livable already although I pointed out a few upgrades it would be worth doing over time. At the end of the Guardian building was a large gym area. It would need some work and some money to make it functional, but the space was there, and that was a good start, and I said so.

"The rooms are a decent size," I added. "If you're going to spend any amount of time stationed somewhere, it's nice not to be in a dog box."

I quickly checked the plumbing, which seemed up to scratch and then Abe led us carefully through the undergrowth to a cottage set amongst the trees.

"This was the caretaker's cottage, but as you can see things got away from him in the end," he commented wryly. "It's been abandoned these last ten years."

Yeah – the place really needed work. It would need gutting, but the space itself was good. Single story with a shingled roof, the steep roof predisposed itself to dormers. I climbed into the roof space and as I'd expected it was leaking.

"You'll need to re-roof," I told him.

"Ahh – so better to tear it down then?" Abe asked.

"No. Shingles aren't that hard to redo. You could patch them, but it seems foolish to do only half the job. I'd be inclined to peel the whole roof off, build in dormers front and back and move the bedrooms upstairs. There's a lot of space up there – you could easily do one large bedroom, two smaller ones, a bathroom and a landing. Put the stairs in the middle where those cupboards currently are downstairs, then turn the two bedrooms downstairs into a dining and a formal lounge. Then you could extend the kitchen into the current formal lounge to make a kitchen meals and living area and divide the current bathroom into a powder room and laundry."

Abe shook his head in disbelief.

"Is it worth it?" he asked. "Wouldn't it cost a fortune?"

"Depends if you need to use it. Most of the cost is in the labor."

"Is that so? How do you know so much about this stuff?" he queried.

"You've seen Baia – almost every house has been extended at least three times. My mother has been sending me to help out with our neighbor's building projects every summer since I was a kid."

He canted his head, lost in thought.

"Last thing to check is the workshop," he said. "It has a couple of rooms above which is where the caretaker ended up living," Abe explained.

It was a simple timber structure situated beside the cottage. Originally a garage, it was now fitted out with maintenance things for the property. The machines were all rusted and worthless, but the hand tools would come up with some TLC, and there were good dry seasoned timbers stored there. Above the workshop was a small unit. One large bedroom and one tiny one attached to an open living space with a kitchenette at one end and a bathroom with a shower basin and toilet at the other. It all needed a good clean, but it was so small that would take no time at all.

I was watching Rose from the corner of my eye. She was standing at the sink looking out through the window to the cottage and smiling. And I smiled too - an idea starting to come to me.

"Rose? Would you return to the main house with me?" Abe asked. "I'd like a woman's opinion on some of the modifications I've got in mind."

She agreed, and the four of us walked back down the narrow stairs that ran down the side of the workshop.

"Belikov? There's some old equipment over behind the cottage I'd like to take a look at," Pavel said. I wasn't an idiot. They were clearly separating the two of us, the thing I couldn't figure out was did Abe want a private word with Rose, or did Pavel want to speak with me?

"Sure thing. Roza – we'll catch up with you and Abe at the house," I said with a cheerful smile.


	47. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 24

"So how well do you know Belikov?" Abe asked me as we were wandering through the kitchen. He'd brought me inside on the pretext of looking at the workspaces.

"Better than I know pretty much anyone," I said confidently. "Speaking of which, you should be aware I can't cook at all, so if you genuinely want advice about how to set up your kitchen, ask Dimitri – he likes to cook."

Abe laughed.

"Point taken. I wanted to speak to you privately to ask more about your relationship with Dimitri. I'm trying to fill in the blanks about how he went from leading the team who recovered you to your boyfriend and more," he said dropping his eyes to my waist.

"What happens with this information?" I asked suspiciously. "I'm not telling you anything if it's going to be used in any way which could hurt Dimitri or my baby."

"I promise only your father, and I will hear this," Abe answered.

"And you promise it won't be used to hurt Dimitri or my baby?"

"I promise," he replied.

"Ok, well there's not a lot to tell," I said honestly. "He and I have talked about it since, and we both felt an attraction from early on, but nothing happened until the Equinox Dance. Did you hear that Victor Dashkov kidnaped my best friend, Lissa?"

"Yes it came up in the background check," he said. "I read the report about the kidnapping." I was grateful he'd admitted to having me checked out. Somehow his honesty made me feel I could trust him.

"Then you might have read that Victor put a charm on my necklace? To cause me to attack Dimitri?"

"Yes?"

"Well there _was_ a charm, but it was a _lust_ charm. Victor realized Dimitri and I had feelings for each other, and that's how he planned to distract us and get Lissa away."

"So that's when you were first intimate with Dimitri?" Abe asked delicately.

"No. We came close, and we both really wanted to, but Dimitri figured out the necklace was charmed and threw it out the window. At first, he told me what happened was because of the charm and he didn't have feelings like that for me. But a few days later I was injured battling Victor's daughter who turned Strigoi, and when he was carrying me to the infirmary, Dimitri finally admitted he _was_ attracted to me but that we could never be together and we couldn't act on it."

"So how did that change?" Abe asked.

"We couldn't help it. Even though we weren't letting ourselves do anything about it, we fell in love. We told each other how we felt about half an hour before he got the news of his reallocation. He had to go to Missoula to sort things out at the bank and update his will. When he told me he was going to spend his last few days away from the Academy there, I begged to go with him. We'd fought how we felt the whole time we'd known each other, but once he was no longer my mentor, I wasn't letting him go without showing him how much I cared. We had five days together and then he was gone."

"And when he got back you were pregnant."

"Yes." I could tell he wanted to ask if Dimitri was the father, but he didn't.

"What do you know about his time away and his mission?"

"Pretty much everything."

"And did he mention anything about recently coming into some money?"

"A hundred million rubles?" I asked, lifting my eyebrows and giving him a 'yes I know about that' look. Abe looked surprised. "You'll have to speak to Dimitri about it, but yes I know about it and how he came to have it. He was hoping to give it all to his family, but he said we'll probably have to take some of it to set ourselves up in the human world. It's starting to look like the only way."

"How do you feel about that?" he probed.

"It will be an adventure," I said bravely. "But if I'm with him I know it will be ok."

"You trust him that much?"

"Abe, Dimitri is everything to me. He's never let me down, and he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Well, that's something a man likes to hear," Dimitri said, coming into the kitchen with Pavel. He wrapped his arms around me from behind resting his huge hands on my tummy and dropping an affectionate kiss on my head.

"So what do you think, Dimitri? Should I buy the place?" Abe asked changing topics.

"You're going to need to sink a bit into it, but you could make the place a show piece," Dimitri replied.

"What do you think, Rose?" Abe asked.

"I think the location is perfect. Close enough to Court to be convenient but it's like you're in your own little world out here."

"Yes – there's also a small human township about ten minutes further out," Abe said, "And about thirty minutes further there's a human mall with a supermarket. But this pocket is treed and quiet."

"It's beautiful," I said encouragingly, feeling a little wistful.

"I'm glad you approve because I've decided to buy it," Abe said decisively. "Belikov – can you make some notes of every possible thing wrong with it including an estimate of how many tons of rubbish and building materials you think would need to be removed? I'll use that to barter them down. And if you have time, also a list of things that need doing in the main house, Guardian quarters and the cottage?"

"Sure," Dimitri said with a grin. "Happy to."

We climbed back into the van and drove back to Court. I hadn't done much all day; studied in the morning and then spent the afternoon with Dimitri, but I was tired. I guess growing a new person did that! As soon as we were back to the unit I yawned and said goodnight to everyone. I wanted a shower and then sleep.

"Milaya? I'm just going to chat with Abe about remodeling his house – I'll be up in an hour or so."

"I'll get the bed warm for you," I promised with a yawn.

* * *

I'd already poured a glass of scotch for Dimitri when he knocked on the door to my study. I knew he'd be coming to talk to me. I gestured for him to take a seat in the armchair beside me.

"I have some questions for you, Dimitri," I started. "You know who I am, and you know what I could do to you if I wanted to."

Dimitri looked at me unperturbed.

"Yes, I know who you are. I know _exactly_ who you are, Abe - which is why you can ask whatever you want and I will answer honestly."

"Are you the baby's father?"

"Yes. My Babushka says it's because of Rose being shadow-kissed. As soon as I heard Rose was pregnant, I knew the child was mine. There's never been a moment's doubt in my mind."

"Did you know it was a possibility when you slept with her?" I asked.

"No. If I'd had any idea, I would have taken precautions! I love Rose, and I'm thrilled she's going to have my child, but I'm devastated by what it's cost her. If I'd known, I'd have done things in the right order; wait for her to graduate and start her career, get married, provide a stable home for her and then start our family."

I looked at him, and I could see the honesty. The guy adored my daughter.

"Are you planning to stick by her?"

"Abe if she'll have me, I plan to marry her. I don't want to ask her now. It's too much and she's already got enough on her mind. But once we're settled, that's the plan. I never want to be without her again, and I'm hoping she feels the same way."

"Was there anything between you and the Ozera woman?"

"Not a thing. I've never even kissed her. It's all in her mind, and she's unhinged. I worry about her being anywhere near Rose."

I scratched my chin thoughtfully.

"Tell me about the hundred million rubles," I said keeping my gaze level on him. That was something I couldn't figure out.

"You've guessed which mission I was on?" he asked.

I nodded. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, and I'd heard about the mission through my Court contacts as well as those in Russia.

"The Strigoi in charge had been my mentor at St. Basil's. She was turned a few years back in Prague and started building an army. She wanted me to join her as her second. She gave me a choice – be turned or be killed. I took a third option and burned the place to the ground with her and her army in it - but not before I'd asked her to make a payment to my family so they wouldn't have to survive on my Guardian pension once I was turned. I didn't know she'd kept her end of the bargain until I got to Baia after I escaped."

"You told Rose about this?" I asked.

He nodded.

"I don't lie to her," he explained, looking at me meaningfully.

Fair point well made.

"Thank you for answering my questions," I said. "It's cleared few things up in my mind."

Dimitri nodded, taking a sip of his scotch.

"I have a proposal for you," he said, looking up at me. "I haven't run it past Rose yet because I didn't want to get her hopes up. She loved the property you're looking to buy. If you're going to remodel it, I thought I could help with that? If you'd let us stay in the rooms above the workshop, in lieu of rent I could oversee the contractors working on the main and Guardian houses, and work myself on the cottage? If you paid materials, I'd do the labor and could have the cottage livable by the time the baby arrives. That would give us somewhere stable to live while Rose gets used to being a mother. If we said a year all up, we'd have time to work out what next – and when we left, you'd have the cottage substantially increased in value."

"What would you live off?" I asked. It hadn't been the request I'd anticipated, but I wanted to see where he went with this.

"I have some savings, and I can take a little from the money for my family. But I'd also be putting in a veggie patch, so our food costs would be minimal."

"And when did you see this starting?"

"As soon as you take settlement. If you're agreeable, and if Rose likes the idea, I'll speak with the school about Rose doing her class work remotely. Perhaps she could fly in for her finals and graduation?"

I toyed the idea around in my mind. What he was suggesting was a good deal from my perspective. He'd be taking something worthless and for next to nothing turning it into an asset. But the cottage was useless to me done up or not unless my daughter and grandchild were in it.

"You know I have the money and intention to provide for Rose and her child. I'm quite prepared to have the cottage professionally remodeled for them, and you could live there along with her."

"I understand that, but looking after them is not your responsibility, Abe. It's mine. I couldn't expect Rose to respect me if I wasn't working to support her and our child, and I sure as hell couldn't respect myself. While I'd appreciate a hand working our way through the current situation, I don't want a handout, and I'm sure Rose would feel the same way."

"Understood, and I respect what you're saying. However I have a different proposal," I said, tenting my fingers and looking at the young man in front of me carefully. I was usually a sound judge of character, and my gut was telling me this was a good move.

"I _am_ going to need someone on site as you suggested, but I was also planning on leaving a small number of Guardians at the house, so I'll be needing a live-in commander. I'd like to offer you that role."

Dimitri was silent, watching me carefully. I liked that. It was a prudent man who said nothing before he had all the information.

"The way I see it, more hands will help you get everything done faster, and with the Ozera woman, I'd feel happier with Rose being somewhere with a handful of Guardians on my payroll to protect her. Just in case. Your resume is impressive and recommends you for this sort of position, and moving into a command role will give you the flexibility in hours you'll need to support Rose. I'd be willing to commit to a paid position on this basis for two years with a view to extending if it's working out."

"So how would it work – when you're in town and when you're not?"

"When I'm in residence you'd work with Pavel. While he's head of all my Guardians, he tends to operate cooperatively with the commanders when we're visiting at my residences. You'd be doing the Guardian rosters, overseeing their training, recommending hiring and firing and the like. I also like to rotate Guardians between my various locations and switch around those who travel with me – so you'd be liaising with Pavel and the other commanders about those sort of issues. In time, there'd be the opportunity for you, Rose and the child to travel to my other homes if you wished."

"Are you offering me the position solely because of my connection with Rose?" he asked.

"Absolutely," I replied. "I want her safe, happy and secure. But you're also the right profile for the job, and you strike me as a hard worker. I'm a good judge of character, Dimitri. I wouldn't propose this if I didn't think you were up to the task. The offer has obvious benefits for us all. Please consider it."

"I'll need to talk it through with Rose, but the offer is appealing," he said cautiously. "But my relationship with Rose is based on trust. I won't lie to her. If she asks…"

"I understand. I hadn't intended to tell her. But I can see she needs me. And I'm starting to appreciate I might need her. You have my word I'll tell her, but please give me some time."

The younger man nodded.

"She's very easy to love, Abe," he warned. "I was gone before I had even the slightest clue."

I laughed to myself. I think I had an idea what the guy meant.

* * *

I woke up and rolled over in bed, smiling in contentment at what I found next to me. Six foot seven inches of sexy man! It was Thursday morning Vampire time; about 6 pm. Early. I'm not sure what time Dimitri came to bed last night because I was asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow. He was smiling in his sleep, and I was glad. He'd been looking stressed the last few days. I knew he'd been worried about reporting into headquarters and about getting an allocation that suited us, but now we'd talked about going out into the human world, I was feeling better about things. I'd meant what I said to Abe. Dimitri and I would find a way to make it work.

Last night had been my eighth night sleeping beside my man. Four in Missoula before he left, and now four since he'd been back. But every night together still felt stolen. I couldn't wait until we were settled wherever we were going to end up so I could sleep next to my man in our own bed. But, for now, this was a good start.

"I know you're watching me milaya," he said smiling, his voice still thick with sleep.

"Then what are you going to do about it," I teased, getting a lock of my hair and tickling his face with it.

He growled and pounced, carefully rolling me onto my back. He hovered over me and kissed me gently before rolling off me and sitting up a little, running his hand through his hair.

"Sleep well, Comrade?" I asked, enjoying his happy, playful mood.

"I did, milaya. Even _with_ your snoring!"

"Snoring?! I don't snore," I said, looking at him pointedly.

"Of course you don't," he soothed. "They're just _sleep noises_." Then he proceeded to imitate a chainsaw running. I was about to hit him with a pillow when he stopped me.

"You wouldn't hit a man about to tell you about an allocation offer would you?" he asked.

"An offer?" I gasped. "A good one? Tell me everything!"

"Well…" he drawled, dragging it out. "What did you think of that little cottage we looked at yesterday?"

"The one on the property Abe was looking at?" I asked.

"Yes. I know it doesn't look like much now, but imagine it looking like this," he said, reaching over to his nightstand getting some pieces of paper. They had sketches of the front of the cottage it as is it looked now, and then as it could look with dormers in the roof, an extended porch and a slight extension at one end. He was observing me carefully then handed me a second piece of paper, this one with the existing floor plan and beside it a revised plan.

"How?"

"Abe offered me the commander position. It's a live-in position supervising a small group of Guardians who'd permanently live on site. I'd be doing rosters, supervising training and keeping the place ready for Abe and his additional Guardians when they come to town. At first, I'd be overseeing the contractors working on the house and Guardian accommodations plus working on the cottage and the gardens. We could stay above the workshop until the cottage was completed. I know it's not much, but we don't need a lot, and it would be all ours. There's still five months until Junior is due - I'd have the cottage finished by then," he promised, looking at me carefully.

"A place of our own?" I squealed.

"Yes," he grinned. "The pay is good, milaya. Private allocations always are, and this is a team lead position, so it's more still. The figure mentioned was almost three times what I earn now, and being live-in we'll be able to save a lot of it. Abe's suggesting two years to start, with a view to extending. You wouldn't need to work, Roza. At least not until you wanted to. It's close to Court so you could go there whenever you want. Same with the human township and mall. And we'd have a spare room when friends came to stay."

"Starting after I graduate?" I asked, looking for the catch.

"I was thinking maybe before? What if we could get permission for you to study offsite? There are only eight weeks to go – we could fly back a few times to see your friends and sit your exams? I know it's a big change, but we'd be settled, and you wouldn't have to put up with all the gossip and carry on at the Academy."

I sat looking at the sketches he'd drawn. It was the sweetest little cottage, and I could see us being very happy there.

"It needs a big old porch swing just there," I said pointing to one end of the verandah on the sketch with a smile, looking up at my Russian God from under my lashes.

"Is that a yes, milaya? At least to looking further into it?" he asked.

I nodded nervously, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him excitedly. Our kisses soon turned heated, and we ended up having a private little celebration about the potential answer to all our hopes and prayers. Afterward, I lay in his arms, happily listening to Dimitri describe all the things he wanted to do to the cottage and the property to prepare it for the baby and me. Women might get a nesting bug I reflected, thinking about the final chapters in the pregnancy book, but my Russian God was jumping boots and all into his 'providing for my family' role. And while some men might have been overwhelmed by all there was to achieve; Dimitri looked like he was itching to get started!

We made it down to breakfast just as Abe did. We all sat at the table, Abe taking in our happy faces.

"I've talked to Rose about your offer, and if it still stands we're both very interested," Dimitri said, holding my hand on the table.

"Excellent," Abe beamed. "I'll have some allocation papers drawn up this morning for you to consider. I've already submitted an offer on the property and should hear in the next few hours if I've been successful. Assuming I am, and I will be, I propose we leave for the Academy later this afternoon. You can pack your belongings, I can meet with the Headmistress on behalf of your father to discuss the particulars about how to manage your studies, Rose, and you can celebrate your birthday with your friends. We could return to Court on Sunday, and you could move in as soon as some furniture can be arranged."

"I have a prenatal scan in Missoula scheduled for Monday. Should I see if I could get it moved up?" I asked Abe.

"How about we fly into Missoula and try and get it done Friday morning human time? I'm sure with a little persuasion they'd do it early for you. Then we'll fly on to the Academy and continue as discussed."

I grinned, looking at Dimitri.

"Would you like to see the baby, Comrade?" I asked, seeing his huge smile.

"I honestly can't wait!" he grinned back.

Suddenly I couldn't wait to get back to the Academy. I wanted to get my stuff, get packed, and get started on the next phase of our lives. Dimitri and I living together in a place of our own!


	48. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 25

Abe got the property with an immediate settlement. Four and a half acres of prime fenced treed land, the huge house, and assorted outbuildings twenty minutes from Court. Hell knows what it cost him, but I was thrilled. It meant I had a job and a place for Rose and me to call home!

True to his word, Abe had an allocation contract drawn up that morning. I took a good look, and it was mostly standard. The only significant elements were that it specifically included Rose and her children in all my entitlements, including top of the range medical cover. I wasn't sure whether to be reassured or paranoid that she was also listed as the beneficiary of a very generous Guardian pension should something happen to me.

We were due to fly out later in the afternoon so we could be in Missoula by 9 am. So that gave me about three hours to come up with the perfect eighteenth birthday present for Rose. And I was struggling. I wanted to get her something she would always treasure, but I couldn't think of anything. So after checking that Rose was happy studying at the unit, I headed into the central shopping area looking for inspiration.

After our experience buying her pendant, I knew she was particular with jewelry, so I wasn't sure that would be a winner. I didn't want to get her anything to do with the baby – this was her eighteenth, and while she was expecting our child I wanted this celebration to be separate to that. I finally settled on three gift ideas. None of them the 'wow' gift I wanted, but I just couldn't think of anything.

Surprisingly the gifts were relatively easy to source, and when I looked at the three together, they didn't look too disappointing. On a whim, I added a fourth present and was satisfied. I had them all gift wrapped and spent ten minutes choosing a card. With gift buying completed I walked towards Guardian Headquarters, stopping along the way at the pâtisserie to purchase a selection of sweet treats for Rose.

Stepping inside the Guardian Headquarters was always soothing. Something about the meticulous order of the place appealed. I stopped at the front desk, pretending not to notice the appreciative glance the twenty-something Guardian on reception gave me.

"I'm here to hand in some allocation papers, but I was wondering whether Guardian Schoenberg is around?" I asked.

"He is. He's in a meeting with Guardians Erskine and Croft. Shall I tell him you're here?" she inquired.

"Never mind, that sounds important. I'll see him another time."

I was just walking through the double doors to hand in my papers when Schoenberg, Croft, and Erskine appeared at the other end of the corridor still discussing something.

"Belikov," Schoenberg greeted. "Good timing. Let me introduce you to Hans Croft. He's head of Guardians at Court." I shook hands with Croft. It was thoughtful of Art to introduce me; Hans could be a useful contact. "What are you doing up here this morning?" Schoenberg continued.

"Submitting allocation papers," I replied.

"Where did you end up?" he asked curiously.

"I've taken a private position," I admitted, "but I'll still be around. I'm to be the team leader at a local residence for Abe Mazur. He's bought a property about twenty minutes outside Court. It's live-in, and while I never thought I'd work privately, right now it offers everything I need."

Schoenberg smiled in understanding.

"Then I'm happy for you. And it's good news for us that you'll still be local. I meant what I said about nominating you for the Guardian Council."

"Still? As a private Guardian?" I said surprised.

"Well we've never had one on there," he admitted, "but private allocations are becoming more common. I think it's an oversight not to have at least one private Guardian on the Council."

I was surprised when Croft agreed.

"The world is changing. The threats we face are changing. We need to change, too." Schoenberg and Erskine didn't seem surprised by Croft's statement. It was obviously something they were used to hearing.

"Got time for a coffee, Belikov?" Schoenberg asked.

I checked my watch. "Yeah, I've got half an hour," I admitted. We bid farewell to the other men, Art following me to the allocations area where I handed in the forms. They were sighted, signed, stamped and submitted; so as of that moment I was a gainfully employed Mazur Guardian.

"So tell me about the Mazur position. How'd you come across that?" Art asked curiously as we walked back to the pâtisserie.

I quickly outlined the role, including the offer to make the cottage into a real home for Rose, the baby and I.

"Mazur is a friend of Rose's father. He heard about our situation and his offer was too perfect to refuse."

Art nodded, accepting that at face value.

"So when do you start?"

"We're flying to Montana this afternoon. It's Rose's birthday over the weekend, and she wants to celebrate it with her friends at the Academy. We're going to try to convince the Headmistress to allow Rose to complete her studies off-site. If we're lucky, we'll be moving into the property early next week."

"Let me know if the Headmistress gives you any trouble," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "Erskine or I can give her a call."

"Thanks, Art. I appreciate it."

"So how's the pregnancy going?" he asked. "How's Rose?"

"Good. She's had high blood pressure, so I'm meant to be keeping her calm, but with everything going on and all the pregnancy hormones that's easier said than done," I confided with a chuckle. "She has a scan due while we're in Montana, so I'm going to get to see the baby," I said with a grin.

"I'm glad it's all working out for you, Belikov. You make a man think, maybe there's hope for all of us."

I looked at Art in surprise. He was a Guardian through and through. I'd never known him to have _any_ personal life.

"Someone caught your eye?" I asked him gently.

He shrugged.

"I'm forty-six, and she's younger. I doubt she'd look at me twice," he said laughing at himself. "And I wouldn't have a clue about how to go about asking her out anyway."

"It's not that hard. Just find a reason to spend time with her," I advised.

"She's a Guardian, so she's probably already seeing someone," he grumbled.

While committed _open_ relationships between Guardians were rare, understandings between Guardians were common enough – ranging from casual hookups through to committed but very private relationships. With the imbalance between female and male Guardians, it was no secret that a female Guardian would have no shortage of potential suitors if she so desired.

"So about the Guardian Council," Art said, signaling the other topic closed, "I meant what I said. Talk to Mazur and see if he's ok with the idea of you joining. What's discussed would need to be kept confidential, and you might be asked to step out occasionally if something could be a conflict of interest, but I think it would be a good step for you professionally and also of benefit to the Council."

"I'll talk to Mazur about it," I promised, looking at my watch and standing to take my leave. "You'll have to come out to the property once we've got ourselves settled," I offered. "There's a spot near the cottage which is begging to have a barbecue built," I said with a grin. "I'll give you a call once it's ready!"

"You're on," Art replied with a smile, shaking my hand as I picked up the pastries and Rose's presents and started walking back to guest accommodations.

Back at the unit packing took no time at all. I didn't have much with me to begin with, and Rose was leaving the bulk of her purchases here, taking only what she needed for the weekend.

"Do you have much to transport from the Academy?" Abe asked us as we traveled in the van to Court's runway.

"Three or four boxes each," I answered for us. Neither Rose or I had much. We were starting from scratch.

"Might as well bring it all back then," Abe said giving us an encouraging look.

Before I knew it, we were on the plane and headed back to Montana. I hadn't even been back a week, and I had a new allocation, a new home, I was going to be living with the woman I loved, and we had a baby on the way. Things were moving so fast, but I was happy.

Rose was cuddled against my side tucked under my arm. She wasn't saying much, which was a dead giveaway she was feeling out of sorts.

"What's up, milaya?" I asked, watching her carefully as she brought her face up to look at me.

"This is going to be goodbye to the Academy and all my friends, isn't it?"

"For a little while," I said nodding. "Unless you'd rather stay at the Academy to study and I can try and fly out when I can to visit?"

"No," she said. "I want a place of our own. I want to be away from campus. I just want everything," she sighed.

"And you'll have it," I promised. "I want to help all your dreams come true, Roza. We'll be back to visit the Academy and your friends, and once the cottage is ready, they can visit us. I know it's not how you saw your senior year ending, and I'm sorry milaya." Again I was wracked with guilt. She must have noticed because she brightened up.

"It's ok. I'm looking forward to our new beginning. So… For my birthday… Have you got anything organized?"

"I might do," I said mysteriously, hoping I'd managed to cover my dismay and panic. "Did you have something in mind?"

"I did… But it would be hard to organize without Guardian support," she said batting her eyelashes at me. "I was thinking a sleepover in one of the common room lounges could be cool? Not everyone - just Eddie, Mason, Chelsea, Meredith, and Angela. And I should invite Lissa and Christian, too. If you and Celeste were to supervise that should be ok, shouldn't it? We could watch some movies and maybe get some pizza?"

"I'm sure we could do that," I said. "Are you sure you want me there? Wouldn't you rather just your friends?"

"No," she said petulantly. "I want them to meet _my_ Dimitri. You're going to be around a while," she teased, "I'd like my friends to get used to us together. Unless you don't want to?"

"Of _course_ I want to," I soothed. "Although I think we should keep any specifics about my allocation and our whereabouts a secret."

"Agreed. Lissa and Christian know I've been at Court with you, but nothing about Abe coming to tell me about my father. I say we just tell everyone you've accepted an allocation out of state and leave it at that."

Rose curled up against me closing her eyes resting, and I did the same. In a few days, we'd be living together in our own space. I'd never lived with a lover before, so I was sure it would be a learning curve. But I was excited. Despite all the challenges, life had never looked so sweet.

We touched down in Missoula. Pavel had organized a rental van for us at the airport. Since I'd accepted Abe's offer, there'd been a subtle shift in my interactions with Pavel. He was starting to keep me in the loop about plans and security. He was always near guard for Abe, and there was a tacit understanding that my job was protecting Rose. Although I knew better than to mention that to her.

"Belikov? You're driving. Mr. Mazur wishes to go to the mall. Call me once you're done with the doctor."

I nodded, situating Rose in the middle of the van beside her father. The safest spots. Shooting her a huge grin in the mirror, I did the usual vehicle safety checks before driving to the mall. We dropped off Abe, Pavel, and the other Guardians and then Rose climbed into the passenger seat beside me. It was half-past nine Friday morning, and I headed to the hospital where Rose had her appointment on Monday. I had a handful of notes in my wallet, and I wasn't above using them to get us an earlier scan.

Finding a park half a block from the hospital, I did a quick security check and came around to open Rose's door. We were both grinning like idiots, and I couldn't help myself – as I helped her from the van I picked up my woman and swung her around in a circle, setting her down on her feet in front of me and kissing her gently.

"Come on, milaya. Let's go see our baby!"

We walked hand in hand to the entry doors, negotiating our way through the corridors to the specialist's rooms. Finding the right door, Rose introduced herself and explained she had an appointment on Monday, but a sudden change of plans found us in town today.

"My boyfriend has only just returned from an overseas deployment. It's our first child, and as you can imagine he's keen to see our baby," she said with a sweet look at the receptionists.

"Take a seat dear; I'm sure doctor can squeeze you in."

Luck must have been on our side, because minutes later we were shown through to a consulting suite with an ultrasound machine.

"Rose," the Obstetrician greeted her not unkindly. "Nice to see you again. I take it this is baby's father? Corporal…?"

 _"Major_ Smirnov," I introduced myself, giving the man an extremely firm handshake. Smirnov was the most common surname in Russia – even more common than Smith in America. While there was no direct translation between Guardian rankings and those of the US Army, my Blood Master Seven, battle history, molnija, and allocation would put me at least at the Major level if not higher. Rose had stressed the need to make sure I didn't give my real name, so with my accent, I went for something generic but believable.

"Thank you for your service, Major," Rose's doctor said, his attitude undergoing a complete one-eighty.

I gave a dignified nod.

"Thank you for looking after my girl while I was away. As you can imagine, I was very concerned when I heard the circumstances of her last appointment. I also appreciate you squeezing us in today."

He smiled, turning to set up the equipment.

"Rose you're a day or two shy of eighteen weeks, and this is where we do the big scan. We're checking all anatomical structures are correct, and that everything is developing normally. We can usually tell you gender at this appointment if you wish?"

Rose looked at me for confirmation.

"Thank you, doctor. Unless there's a medical reason for us to know, then we'd like to keep it a surprise," she told him.

The Obstetrician nodded.

"You're in the minority these days – most couples like to find out. But I have to say a delivery is always extra special when the couple doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl. There's something particularly profound about meeting someone you know nothing about but love so much nonetheless."

Rose was looking at me lovingly, and I returned her look. She was lying on the examination couch, and I was sitting in the chair beside her. I had one of her hands between mine and was resting my lips against her fingertips. Rose pulled her dress up to expose her lovely little baby bump, and while the Obstetrician was still fussing with his equipment, I dropped a reverent kiss onto her bare belly. She lifted the hand I wasn't holding to stroke my hair.

The scan itself was pure magic. Suddenly the baby wasn't an abstract concept – a mere curve on the abdomen of my lover. I could see a head, arms, legs, and even a heart. I didn't know I was crying until Rose brushed my tears away.

"It's pretty miraculous, isn't it Comrade?" she whispered.

I didn't trust myself to speak; instead, I nodded kissing her hand and fingertips repeatedly.

"I'm going to do a check of baby's sex organs now. If you don't want to know, look away."

Obediently Rose and I turned from the monitor to gaze lovingly at one another.

"Everything looks perfect," he said. "What do you think you've got?"

"I think a boy," Rose said immediately.

"I think a girl," I followed.

"Well it's pretty clear on the scan, and I can say with ninety-nine percent accuracy one of you is right. You can look back now."

We sat holding hands as the doctor pointed out various other structures.

"You're perfectly on track, Rose, although baby is still measuring tall."

I smiled. Given my height, that was hardly unexpected.

"Is there anything else we need to know? Anything at all? I've been posted interstate, so we're leaving on Sunday…" I checked

"No. All is looking spot on with baby and Rose," he assured me. "I'll get Rose's files printed up now. Best wishes for the three of you."

* * *

It was my second day in Missoula. I was staying in a cheap motel at the edge of town lying low while I considered my options. I was doing a grocery and whiskey run when I saw them on the street. Dimka was twirling Rose around before he set her down and kissed her. It's lucky the street was quiet because I swerved - although I really wanted to slam on the breaks and throw up. Despite Christian's warning that the bitch was all over my man, seeing it with my own eyes was something else.

I pulled over down the road, watching in the rear-vision and side mirror as they walked hand in hand to the hospital. I was double-parked, and a honk alerted me to keep moving, so I made a quick trip around the block, parking about fifty meters down on the opposite side of the road where I could keep a close eye on the van they'd arrived in. Late model, gray, and nondescript, it was typical Guardian transportation. No doubt they'd borrowed it from the school.

As I was waiting, I carefully plaited my hair, wrapping the braid up onto my head and under a baseball cap. With a pair of aviators on and a magazine open in front of me, I looked like a Mom waiting for my kid outside the ballet studio I was parked in front of I assured myself.

I'd been waiting almost forty minutes when they reappeared. Hand in hand, Dimka led the little bitch over to the van, opening her door and helping her in. Even from here I could see the bump at her waist. I guess she _was_ pregnant. Dimka came around and climbed into the driver's seat. He put a hand on either side of her face, and they kissed. It was passionate and loving. I wanted to smack the happy look off the stupid bitch's face.

Dimka started the van and pulled out. I stared at his beautiful face as he drove towards me down the road. He was grinning joyously, so I knew, even if it was subconscious, he must know I was close. I executed a U-turn, causing a driver behind me to slam on their brakes. Flipping them the bird, I followed the van a car back. They were headed to the edge of town, but I lost them when they went through a light, and the car in front of me stopped on the yellow. I swore in three languages, having to calm myself down to prevent myself setting the old man's Oldsmobile on fire.

I cheered myself up by acknowledging that they were still around. I'd worried the little bitch might take Dimka away somewhere, and then they'd be all but impossible to find. So trying to see the glass as half full, I consoled myself that my man was close by – and for the first time in so very long, I'd seen him.

I tried to follow them once the light was green, but they were long gone. I suspected they'd headed to the mall – there wasn't that much else over this side of town. There was no point following them, so I drove back to the motel, stopping to pick up a couple of fifths of whiskey on the way.

I lay on the saggy bed in the tired run down motel drinking whiskey straight from the bottle. It was Friday morning human time. They'd probably head back to the Academy soon to get some sleep ready for Friday Moroi time. Running my plans over in my head I decided to stay here a little longer. If I slept now and went back to campus during daylight tomorrow, there'd be next to no one awake to see me. I could hide out in the cabin I'd stayed in last time and wait for my opportunity to catch Dimka alone. To show him that I was the woman he wanted. The woman in his heart of hearts he wanted to be with.

* * *

Abe was grinning like a Cheshire cat when we pulled up at the mall to collect him and his Guardians.

"How was the scan?" he asked eagerly.

"Perfect," I said shooting my Comrade a giddy smile. Somehow seeing our baby together, and witnessing my Russian God cry with joy had brought us even closer together. Now all I wanted to do was get back to the Academy, have a shower and climb naked into bed next to my man. "What's that smell?" I asked suspiciously, my stomach rumbling.

"I thought you might be hungry, so I bought you both Chinese takeout. They made it fresh, so it's safe for the baby," Abe said virtuously.

"Gimmee!" I groaned, not aware how hungry I was until right now.

Pavel passed me a food container filled with rice and beef and veg in black bean sauce along with a plastic fork. Not my favorite, but it still tasted good.

"Roza? Slow down – you'll get indigestion," Dimitri laughed beside me, opening a sweet and sour pork.

"That's my favorite!" I growled, quickly exchanging containers and all but inhaling mine. I was already done before my Russian God was halfway through his. "Are you going to finish that?" I asked hopefully, eyeing his container.

"Be my guest, milaya," he said lovingly before Pavel interrupted.

"There's more if you're still hungry?" he said, handing over a paper bag of deep fried spring rolls and another plastic container. This one had chicken, cashews, and vegetables.

"Aww Comwad," I gurgled through my overfull mouth. "Thwis twastes awethome!"

I could see Dimitri and the other Guardians laughing at me, but I didn't care. I was _hungry!_ I had finished most of the second tub, and all of the spring rolls before my appetite was satiated. I handed the rest of the chicken and cashew to Dimitri to finish. We'd been less than ten minutes from the airport, yet somehow I'd managed to scoff almost two food containers worth of food and a bag of spring rolls before we arrived.

"Come on," Dimitri said as I was close to slipping into a food coma. I was full. I was happy. It was late. I was sleepy! "Are you too tired to walk?" he asked with amusement.

I nodded sheepishly. It was only _half_ a lie. I was fatigued, but I could have walked. I just wanted him to carry me. Lifting me and carrying me from the van to the plane, Dimitri had me tucked in and buckled up in no time. The flight was short – we were barely in the air before we were landing at the Academy.

Dimitri shouldered our bags before unbuckling me from my seat.

"You look exhausted. Let's get you up to my room and into bed," he whispered lovingly, carrying me towards the van. I must have fallen asleep cradled on his lap in the back of the van, because that was the last thing I remembered.


	49. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 26

I woke up at 7 pm Friday, naked and cuddled up tightly against my Russian God. We were in his Academy dorm room, and he was still asleep. I opened my eyes and looked at him – marveling at how handsome he was. I knew neither of us was meant to be here; he was now a Mazur Guardian, and I was still officially a student - but sleeping separately just wasn't an option anymore.

I suppose Abe and his Guardians must be in guest accommodation I thought idly as I smoothed some unruly hairs back from Dimitri's face. He was smiling and looked so relaxed. I, on the other hand, was getting a little hot and bothered. Something about his strong arms wrapped around me, and one of his long legs resting between mine. Rolling back a little, I moved out of his grasp. He rolled onto his back but grumbled in his sleep, so I snuggled back against his side, enjoying his arm pulling me against him and his happy smile returning. Looks like he was enjoying sleeping in the same bed as much as I was.

I trailed my hand down his chest and underneath the quilt. I was nearly to his thighs when I realized that not _all_ of him was asleep. In fact, a rather sizeable part of him was awake and standing to attention. With a cheeky little look to check he hadn't woken, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, pumping it up and down. He smiled more in his slumber, before his plump full lips fell open and he was making the sexiest soft grunts as I tightened my grasp around his manhood and increased speed.

His long dark eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as he opened his eyes with a groan. He rolled towards me, snaking his fingers into my hair and pulling my lips to his. We kissed until I could barely breathe. Pulling away, we were both panting – for oxygen but also out of need.

"Get on your knees," he whispered urgently.

I jubilantly complied, already wanting him. He knelt between my calves, softly stroking my sex.

"Always so ready," he marveled at my wetness, slowly sliding his length inside me. My forearms and head resting on the mattress, I used one of his pillows to silence my excited groan. I needed this, and by the feel of it, he did too. Dimitri immediately set a brisk pace. This wasn't going to be a leisurely morning of lovemaking – we both needed a release, and he was determined we were going to get it!

We were doing our best to be quiet, but the bed was creaking loudly, there was the sound our skin made every time it connected, and finally neither of us was able to completely silence the little moans and gasps as we came closer to climaxing.

"Roza…" Dimitri groaned softly in warning. He must be close to coming undone, but he always tried to hold back to give me satisfaction first.

I was near, so reached between my legs to stimulate myself. It was the final thing I needed, and I started to cum almost instantly. Dimitri roared as he felt my core clench around him. Grasping my hips firmly he pulled me against him as his cock began to spasm with his orgasm, and together we danced on the edge of physical ecstasy. Finally coming down from our highs, Dimitri was rubbing the base of my spine with his large calloused hand. Pulling himself out of me, I flopped onto my side, him following to spoon behind me gently.

"Hmm. Comrade that was very satisfying," I complimented with a little giggle.

"I aim to please, Roza," he murmured in my ear, nuzzling the soft skin on the side of my neck.

"I could stay here all day," I muttered.

"So could I, but we need to pack, and I thought you'd want to see your friends? Plus you need food."

He was right.

"The baby's going nuts again," I laughed, sitting up and stretching luxuriously, enjoying Dimitri's eyes on me as I walked across to his bathroom.

"You've popped," he said, looking at my midriff. I had no idea what he meant. I used the toilet and was walking across to choose some clothes from my bag when I caught a glimpse of myself in his wardrobe mirror.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed. He was right. My baby bump was like twice the size it was yesterday. "I'm _huge!"_ I wailed.

"You're gorgeous," he reassured me. "So beautiful." Climbing out of bed, he stood behind me, engulfing me in his arms as we stood in front of the mirror. "Look. Still tiny next to me," he said lovingly.

"I blame you and your freakishly tall Russian genes," I grumbled half-heartedly. "You heard the doctor – our baby is going to be a giant."

"Our baby is going to be beautiful just like her mother."

"No, he's going to be handsome like his father."

"We'll see," Dimitri said with a grin, rubbing my belly. "How about we have some breakfast then we'll come up here and start packing? I'm not sure whether Abe wants you there when he's talking to Kirova, but if not we can go across and pack your room. Or maybe that's something you'd like to do after class with Lissa?"

He was right. I hadn't left things well with Lissa, and we needed to talk some more.

"Come on then," I said slipping on a pair of jeans and a floaty empire line top. It was so unlike the usual Rose Hathaway style, but I had to admit it was very girly and quite cute. I adjusted my garnet necklace, so the pendant hung about an inch above the edge of the top.

"You still wear it every day?" Dimitri noticed.

"I only take it off to shower," I said, giving it a quick kiss and him a longer one.

I sat on the edge of the bed and admired as Dimitri got dressed. Simple jeans and a lightweight sweater for him – he still looked delicious. He made a quick call to Pavel to confirm plans for the day, so I grabbed my phone and texted Lissa.

 _Back on campus. Meet at the cafeteria in five?_

The phone was silent for a few seconds before a text pinged back.

 _I'll quickly go to the feeders first. Make it ten._

Dimitri opened his door and checked carefully. The hallway was clear, so he slipped out of the door, me following him. And right at that moment, the dorm door opposite opened to reveal Stan. Dimitri said nothing, but I could see his shoulders tense slightly.

Stan and I looked at one another warily before I said cheerfully, "Morning Guardian Alto."

"Rose. Belikov," he greeted awkwardly trying to pretend we weren't walking out of Dimitri's bedroom together so early in the morning. "How was Court?"

"Full of stuck up Moroi," I replied without thinking.

I saw Dimitri's lips twitch and Stan actually smiled.

"Yeah well – you get that," he admitted with a chuckle, carefully looking around to make sure we hadn't been overheard. The three of us walked down to breakfast only a little uncomfortably. Dimitri fell into step beside Alto and talked about professional gossip from Court.

We were nearly at the cafeteria when Stan asked, "So Rose? Will we see you back in classes on Monday?"

I looked at Dimitri who gave a small nod, letting me know it was ok to tell him.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "There's a chance I might be completing the year off campus, flying back in for my exams."

Stan looked surprised. "That's unusual…"

"I know. But a lot is going on. It might end up being the best solution."

"Well let me know," he said. "I can keep you up to date on what we're covering in my classes, and I am sure Belikov can answer any practical questions you might have."

It was all I could do not to crack up laughing. Alto's 'teaching' consisted of reading aloud from the book almost verbatim, occasionally interjecting historical examples or more often telling off a student – usually me. I'd probably learn more by just reading the book myself – which is exactly what I intended to do.

"Thanks. Can I email you if I have any questions?" I asked innocently. I could see Dimitri smirking behind Stan's back, but Alto was eating it up.

"Certainly. I know it will be hard to study remotely, so by all means email if you need help," he agreed generously.

I thanked him, and we walked into the cafeteria, heading our separate ways. Eddie and Mason were already at our table, so I walked over and sat down while Dimitri lined up to get our food.

"Hey! Look at you," Mason said giving me a quick hug. "I had to hear via Lissa that you'd gone to Court."

"Sorry – everything just happened so quickly. I've had high blood pressure, so Dr. Olendzki gave me a week off class. Dimitri had to go to Court to discuss a new allocation, so I went with him."

"But you're back," Mason chirped happily.

"I am – and I'm checking you've got tomorrow night free? For my eighteenth?"

"Sure do," Mason replied, Eddie agreeing enthusiastically.

"What are you planning?" Eddie asked as Dimitri placed my tray in front of me before sitting gracefully next to me with his own.

"You'll have to ask Dimitri," I said, looking at my man.

"I still have to check with Alberta," he admitted. "But I was thinking maybe a sleepover in one of the common rooms? With movies and pizza?"

Eddie and Mason looked impressed. A film was nothing special – but a sleepover? That would be impossible without a Guardian supervising, and understandably they weren't usually lining up to volunteer to supervise birthday parties.

"Hey, girl!" Celeste said, coming over and sitting opposite me and next to Mason. "Almost didn't recognize you wearing that," she teased. "Hey D," she added affectionately.

"Hey. Who's guarding Lissa tomorrow night?" I asked.

"That would be me. I have the eight to eight," she replied, meaning the 8 am – 8 pm shift.

"Awesome!" I enthused. "It's my eighteenth tomorrow, and I was hoping to do a sleepover and movies in the common room. Lissa and Christian will be invited – you up for supervising with Dimitri?"

"Will there be popcorn?" she asked Dimitri.

"Absolutely!" he promised. "I plan to make a mountain of the stuff."

"You're on then – provided the Princess is there of course."

"Provided I'm where?" Lissa asked a little uncertainly from behind me. Celeste immediately straightened up a little.

"My birthday party!" I said enthusiastically, scooting over a little closer to Dimitri to make room for Lissa on the end of the bench I was sitting on. "We were thinking a slumber party and movie night? Please tell me you can come? Tomorrow night? Christian too, of course," I clarified. I would be fine if Christian decided not to grace us with his presence, but I knew with everything that had happened, Lissa wouldn't come unless Christian did.

"Come on – it will be fun!" I continued. "Dimitri's going to make popcorn… It won't be right if you're not there."

I knew I had her then. I could tell from the bond she, like me, was already feeling immensely guilty about how things stood between us.

"I'll even let you paint my nails," I tempted.

"Of course I'll be there," she said with a tentative smile. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Christian either."

I smiled, knowing it was going to take a lot of convincing to get Christian to attend.

"Great!" I grinned. "I'm still not allowed back at classes, but if you're free maybe we could catch up after school this afternoon? Just the two of us? I might have to see Kirova, but I can text you?"

"I'd like that," she said, before looking over her shoulder to where Christian sat with Brandon and some of the other royal Moroi.

"Me too. I'll probably see you later," I said with a smile, letting her know I was ok with her going to sit with the Moroi instead of with us.

The chat went back to casual banter after she left. Chelsea came and sat next to Eddie, followed a little later by Meredith and Angela. Plans were made for the following night then the bell rang, the Novices and Celeste stood to go to classes.

"I can't wait to catch up tomorrow night," I said affectionately to Celeste. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too," Celeste replied, giving me a quick hug. "You're looking gorgeous by the way!"

The cafeteria quickly cleared.

"Let's go see Alberta and then we can pack my room," Dimitri suggested, so we walked hand in hand to the older Guardian's office. Welcoming us with a smile, Dimitri held my hand as he broke our news to her.

"I've got an allocation, Alberta," he announced proudly. "Obviously keep it to yourself, but Abe has bought a place just outside of Court. It's a large property, and he's leaving a small number of Guardians to manage the place when he's not in town. It's a live-in position, there's a cute little cottage that's ours if we want it, and he's offered me the commander position. It's good money, conditions, and entitlements. The cottage is pretty crappy at the moment, but I'm going to spend the summer getting it ready for Rose and the baby. We'll be extending it to have three bedrooms, a brand new kitchen, and laundry, formal lounge, and dining as well as an open kitchen, meals, and living area."

"It's only twenty minutes out of town, so you can stay with us when you visit Court," I said in a voice that only broke a little.

"I should hope so," Alberta said with a big grin. "And I plan to be visiting Court _a lot_ , just so you know." I knew she was telling me I wouldn't be abandoned or alone.

"Abe is going to meet with Kirova today and see if I can complete my studies off campus and fly back for my exams," I said quietly. Alberta nodded – I could tell she'd anticipated this might happen. "If she approves it I'll be packing my things and leaving on Sunday."

"While I'm here you'll always have a home at St. Vladimir's, Rose. You too, Dimitri," Alberta promised.

I stood up and walked around the desk to give the stalwart woman a hug, tearing up again. She returned my hug fiercely, looking over my shoulder to Dimitri.

"You'd better take care of her, Belikov. She and the baby or I _swear_ I'll hunt you down," she said with a menacing smile. I knew she was teasing. Kind of.

"I'd expect no less, Alberta," he said raising his hands up in front of him in acquiescence but smiling.

"Soo… Any chance I can have a sleepover in one of the common rooms tomorrow night for my eighteenth?" I asked. "Dimitri will help supervise, and Celeste said she would too. No alcohol – just movies, pizza, and popcorn."

"Who would be attending?" she asked cautiously. I smiled. Alberta knew better than to agree to a proposal from me without checking out all the particulars.

"Dimitri and me, Celeste, Lissa, Christian, Mason, Eddie, Chelsea, Meredith, and Angela. Celeste is on duty with Lissa anyway but said she's happy to help Dimitri supervise. I haven't told them yet, but if Kirova agrees it will be my last night living on campus…"

"Yes alright. But since the Princess is attending, hold it in the upper Moroi common room. That block is more heavily guarded," Alberta explained.

"Yeah, and it has a TV like twice the size," I mumbled under my breath. Even the Moroi common rooms were bigger and better than ours, and while the upper Moroi common room wasn't the largest, it did have the largest TV, soda on tap and the biggest softest sofas imaginable.

"Well there is that," Alberta acknowledged with a grin. "I'll authorize closing it from say 7 am?" she said with a laugh.

We headed by the storeroom to pick up some boxes before going to Dimitri's room. I shivered. This is how it was last time – on the day my heart was ripped out of my chest.

"It's different this time," Dimitri assured me with a smile knowing the direction of my thoughts, rubbing my tummy and dropping a kiss onto my temple.

"It is," I agreed as we climbed back up to his room. He'd been right – his stuff didn't take long to pack. It wasn't even lunchtime, and we were done. So we lay back on his bed and started a conversation I'd been wanting to have for a while. Baby names!

"I'd still really like him or her to be a Belikov," I said shyly looking at Dimitri.

"Are you sure?" he asked nervously but with excitement. "It's a big thing… It pretty much announces to the world that we're a family. Especially given most people won't know Junior is mine."

"I'm sure. And I want the traditional Russian patronymic, too, if you're ok with that? Dimitrievich for a boy and Dimitrievna for a girl. Is that right?"

"It is, milaya."

"Have you thought of first names?" I asked, sitting up against the bed head while he laid his head in my lap, kissing and caressing my bump.

He named a few, and I immediately vetoed anything floral or even remotely Scottish. I told him my list of boys' names, and while he liked them, he ruled out two or three based on people he knew. He didn't say it, but I could tell my frontrunner was his too. We then went through talking girls names. And it took ages. A lot of the names he liked I couldn't say correctly or just sounded weird in my opinion, but eventually, we got a list of three girls names we both liked.

We wandered down to lunch, Dimitri outlining all the things we'd need for the nursery. Again I was grateful I had his help – some of the things he mentioned I'd never heard of. I'd just started eating my lasagna when my phone beeped with a message. It was Abe. He had an appointment with Kirova at 2.30 am but wanted to meet at 1.30 am to go through our 'strategy'. Personally, I felt the best strategy was to keep me as far away from Kirova as possible, but I kept that thought to myself when I texted back confirming I'd be at his unit in guest accommodations then.

I hadn't told any of my friends about Abe coming forward on behalf of my father, and now given Dimitri was going to work for him I thought it better not to mention it at all. Honestly, all they'd have is questions I didn't have answers for. So we kept the chat general over lunch. With half an hour to kill before meeting Abe, Dimitri and I thought to visit Dr. Olendzki to hand back the blood pressure monitor and discuss the readings.

She went through the readings and overall she was satisfied.

"What happened here?" she asked pointing to the reading I'd taken after I'd been convinced Dimitri and I were going to be separated again.

"I had a pregnancy meltdown," I admitted, looking at Dimitri's amused smile. "And you can shut up, Comrade," I threatened before he had a chance to say anything. "Don't say a word!"

"I wouldn't dare," he promised a smile still tugging at his lips.

"I might be having some mood swings and getting a little emotional at times," I admitted.

Dr. Olendzki laughed.

"It comes with the territory, I'm afraid. Now you've had the scan have you thought about birthing options?"

Dimitri gave me a look.

"I have actually. Dimitri has accepted an out of State allocation, so it might be a matter of finding a new doctor to take care of us. However since I'm due at the end of August, and campus would be quiet, I was wondering whether maybe we could have the baby here? The baby and I are covered by Dimitri's health policy, so we can pay. But with the pregnancy being unique we thought it might be better to be somewhere with people we knew and trusted."

Dr. Olendzki looked thoughtful.

"We can certainly handle a standard delivery here, but should anything go wrong we're a long way from anywhere," she cautioned. "We'd have to transfer you to Missoula and two hours in a delivery is a long time…"

"What if we had a plane on standby?" Dimitri asked thoughtfully. "My employer has made it clear he's prepared to be very generous with his resources to make sure Rose gets the best possible care."

"That would make me feel a lot more comfortable," Dr. Olendzki admitted. "Complications in Dhampir deliveries are rare, but I'd like to be prepared. Baby can come anytime from thirty-seven to forty-two weeks, though. You need to be prepared to stay on campus during that time," she cautioned.

"I'd like that. You have to remember, St. Vladimir's is where I've spent most of my life. It's my home," I said tearing up.

Dimitri wrapped his arms around me soothingly. He ran through details with Dr. Olendzki. She'd need to hire in some of the required equipment but provided Alberta and Kirova approved, she agreed to deliver our baby.

"Ours won't be the first one you've delivered, will it?" I asked nervously.

"Far from it, Rose. I worked in a remote Dhampir community in Romania after I did my training. I've delivered _plenty_ of babies," she assured me.

It was time to go to see Abe, which we did. Dimitri wasn't to come with us to see Kirova, but he sat beside me as Abe ran through how he intended to handle it. We told him about our hopes for me to deliver our baby at the Academy and he promised to raise it with Kirova. My part of the plan was to sit quietly, look demure and say nothing. Which is exactly what I ended up doing.

* * *

I went to the gym while Rose and Abe saw Kirova. I was out of routine and had nervous energy to get rid of. There was a junior class at one end, but they paid me no mind as I ran through my usual sequences. That was one thing I missed – Rose's company training. Once we were settled at the property, I hoped she'd be able to join me again, even if it was basic strength training or pregnancy yoga. I felt the need for us to get back some type of normal.

I was smiling thinking about Rose's little pregnancy meltdowns. She'd been a lot better than I expected she might have been. It was hard to believe in a few months time she'd be a mother. And I'd be a _father_. I was sitting on the bench catching my breath when it hit me. I was going to be a Papa. A little person would be relying on Roza and I. For everything!

My father was no shining example. What if I turned out like him? What if I wasn't good enough? What if I completely screwed it up? Or wasn't able to support Roza adequately? My breath started coming faster, and I could feel the adrenaline of panic starting to flood my system. I closed my eyes, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. I pulled my phone from my bag, fingers fumbling as I pressed the long familiar digits.

The phone was answered. Karolina.

"Karolina… I'm going to be a Papa," I said in a panicked voice.

And she laughed! My big sister _laughed_ at me!

"Hang on – I'll get Mama," she said. In the background, I could hear her say, "Mama? It's Dimka. It's finally sunk in…"

Mama was chuckling when she came on the line. She listened to my panicked ramblings, calming me down and reassuring me. Once I'd regained my composure, I told her about Rose's father coming forward via Zmey and my new allocation.

"I know I said I'd never work privately, but it's just ended up as the best solution for Roza and the baby," I explained apologetically. "And I'm looking forward to working on the cottage. I have this desire to do something practical to prepare for the baby."

"Women aren't the only ones to nest you know. I know you can only remember the demon in your father, but when we were expecting Karolina and then you, he was very excited. He spent hours trying to put the cot together," she said in a fond voice I rarely heard from her.

"But he changed. What if I become him?" I whispered, voicing my greatest fear.

"You won't," she promised me. "You're not him. And your Rose is a match for you in a way I never was for your father. He loved me, at least for a time, but he never respected me. You don't treat someone you consider an equal the way he treated me."

I felt all my tension leaving my system. Mama was right. I did consider Roza my equal. The idea of hurting her was repugnant.

"Thanks, Mama," I said happily, one fear now laid to rest.

We spent a few more minutes talking, Mama telling me about a few jobs she was having done around the house to make it more comfortable, then updating me on my niece and nephew as well as Sonya's pregnancy. She was due in a couple of months now and according to Mama was getting even more cantankerous. Good time to be in America, I thought to myself.

"I was thinking, after Sonya's baby arrives might be a good time for me to visit you in America? See how Rose feels about it. I thought perhaps I could stay for the birth and then go home?"

"I'll check with Roza," I promised. "She's hoping to have the baby at St. Vladimir's, so you could probably stay in guest accommodations," I mused thoughtfully. "Leave it with me."

We rang off after I promised to Skype again with Rose in a few days once we were back at Court.

I showered and was coming out of the gym when Rose texted to say she was out of the meeting with Kirova and all had gone well. I met them walking back towards the guest accommodation, and Abe explained that Rose would be studying off campus and she and I would fly back as necessary for her exams.

"I've also arranged to hire the gym and guest accommodation facilities here at St. Vladimir's for the end of August before classes resume. I'll be bringing in the majority of my Guardians and location commanders for an intensive training program. It's something Pavel has been suggesting for a while, but it's been hard to find somewhere big enough. St. Vladimir's is perfect," Abe explained, nodding to his chief Guardian.

I gave Abe an awed look, and he shrugged as if to say, 'It's only money.' I wondered how long it was going to take Rose to figure it out, and how large the explosion was going to be when she did. She was pretty distracted at the moment, but she wasn't _stupid_.

"I thought I'd spend the afternoon packing my room. With Lissa," my woman said giving me a meaningful look.

Make myself scarce. Understood. I had my favorite book in my duster pocket and was considering spending an hour or two in the Guardian's lounge when Pavel suggested we meet to rough out staffing and plans for the new property. So after agreeing to meet Rose for dinner at 7 am, I trailed Abe and Pavel back to guest accommodations.

* * *

"When was this one taken?" Lissa asked curiously, looking at the photo of Dimitri and me just after he'd taken my virginity. "Hang on – are you two in _bed_?"

"In Missoula. And yeah – it was right after we _you know_ for the first time. We were feeling so loved up, so we took a photo."

"You took so many pictures," she observed.

"Yeah, well he wasn't expected to come back... I didn't want to forget anything," I explained.

"It must have been unbearable when he left," she observed sadly.

"It was. If it hadn't been for Celeste, I would never have made it through," I admitted. "She knew about his posting and had a fair idea there was a lot more than friendship between Dimitri and me."

We were sitting side by side on my bed.

"So Dimitri has a new allocation," I told her watching her reaction. "It's out of State. He's leaving on Sunday."

"You're going with him, aren't you?"

"I am," I whispered. "This is our shot, and we need to take it." Lissa started to cry and so did I. "I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry. You're right in what you said. About everything. You looked after me for so long I forgot you had needs, too. But I'm still going to be an Aunt," she said with a wan smile. "You're still my sister."

We hugged both crying.

"So? Going to help me pack?" I asked through my tears. I already had the boxes, so it was a matter of sorting, throwing and packing. I didn't have much, but almost everything I owned had a memory attached. We laughed and talked and remembered things from years ago.

"So where are you going?" Lissa asked.

"Dimitri and I have decided not to tell anyone. It's nothing personal but with Tasha and everything if you don't know you can't let anything slip. You've got my new number, and as soon as I'm settled, I'll email you with my new email address. And you can always get a message to me through Alberta. I promise you as soon as I can, I'll tell you and maybe you can come visit."

"You won't be living in Guardian accommodation?"

"No. The place we're going has a cottage. It's pretty shitty at the moment, but Dimitri is going to work on it and do it up for us. It's beautiful, Lissa. Well, it _will_ be. It has a huge porch, and Dimitri promised to put in a porch swing for me. It's nothing like the life I thought I'd be living, but I'm looking forward to it," I admitted.

"It sounds beautiful," she said, and I could tell she meant it. "So when will I see you again?"

"Soon," I laughed. "I have to fly back in a few times for my exams and then graduation."

"You're going to graduate? I thought you meant you were dropping out?"

"God no," I laughed. "I didn't work this hard to catch up to throw it all away! I'm going to graduate and take my promise. I just won't be working as a Guardian straight away. I probably won't work full time, but when the baby is older, I'd like to do a few shifts a week."

"Well if anyone can make it work it's you," Lissa said proudly. And through the bond, I could tell she meant it.


	50. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 27

"Make yourself useful and go help Guardian Matthews carry up the pizza," I said to Mason, laughing as Dimitri ushered the last of the Moroi from their common room, declaring it 'booked' and 'out of bounds' for the rest of the evening. They'd obviously not twigged that he was no longer employed by the Academy because they obeyed, albeit reluctantly.

Us Novices had arrived promptly at 7 am, each carrying our pillows and quilts, and wearing our pajamas. To my disappointment, Dimitri had insisted on wearing jeans and a TShirt. I'd have loved him in his pajamas, but he'd outright refused on the basis of needing to maintain some distinction between him and the Novices. I guess he had a point, although I thought his pajamas looked cute and told him so.

While she wasn't officially rostered to start until 8 am, Celeste had volunteered to go and get pizza from the closest town. They had a twenty-four-hour pizzeria, but they were stunned when Dimitri called at 5.30 am to order ten family-sized pizzas with various toppings and a similar number of garlic bread. It was lucky Dimitri's credit card had been reactivated, because they'd insisted on pre-payment before they'd accepted the order. I could smell the cheesy goodness from down the hallway complimented by the scent of the garlic bread before it even arrived.

"God I love you," I'd murmured against Dimitri's lips, giving him a quick kiss as thanks for buying us the pizza. While he'd said he was ok with a little affection in front of my friends, he didn't want anything too gratuitous or over the top – particularly given Chelsea, Meredith, and Angela weren't officially in the loop about Junior's paternity - no matter what their personal suspicions might be.

Eddie opened the door to Celeste and Mason, laughing at the obviously envious Moroi hanging out of their dorm rooms. While Moroi were used to getting everything so much better than the Novices, there wasn't a pizzeria that delivered this far out; so store-bought pizza meant a Guardian had to be willing to drive the hour long round trip to get it. Consequently it usually only happened when someone's parents were visiting. Likewise, only Alberta or probably Kirova had the authority to book a common room, so it rarely happened.

I was beginning to wonder whether Lissa and Christian were coming when the door opened to reveal the two of them dressed in pajamas and carrying their bedding. Lissa looked calm and relatively relaxed, but Christian looked distinctly perturbed. I'd worded Mason and Eddie up to be friendly. No I hadn't fully forgiven Lissa, and I hadn't even started to forgive Christian, but I knew I'd regret excluding Lissa from my birthday party come farewell bash, so here they were.

"Christian? Where're the plates?" Mason called out, starting to rummage through the cupboards. Being the Moroi common room, he'd only been in here a couple of times. I was more familiar with the place through years of visiting Lissa, but I left them to it as it gave Christian a way to break the ice with Eddie and Mase.

Emil was hovering awkwardly near the doorway. He was officially on duty for another hour, but I could tell he wasn't sure whether to guard outside the door or within.

"Emil? Come join us for some pizza if you'd like," Celeste offered. "I don't mind starting my shift now."

I was surprised when Emil nodded in acknowledgment, taking one of the plates Christian had helped locate and helping himself to a slice of pizza from the boxes Celeste was opening on the huge table. He went to stand in the furthest area of the common room near the windows, Dimitri following with a plate laden with his slices. The two of them leaned side by side against the wall chewing in companionable silence. Emil had finished his slice when I saw Dimitri talking to him. They were too far away for me to tell what was being said, but when I saw Emil nod and shake Dimitri's hand, I knew what he must have told him our news. Meeting my eyes, Emil gave me a kind smile before raising his hand in farewell and excusing himself from the room.

While I'd been busy watching Emil and Dimitri, Christian had been trying to move his bedding onto the largest sofa.

"Move your stuff, fire boy," I said amiably but meaning what I said. "The pregnant woman and the guy who's six-foot-seven claim the biggest sofa!"

"I'd do it if I were you," Mason joked, smoothing the sting of my words. "You don't want to be dealing with a pregnant Rose tantrum. And FYI don't even look at the last doughnut either; else you might end up in pain!"

"There's doughnuts, too?" I asked, completely distracted.

"Of course there is, milaya," Dimitri said, lifting a dish cloth off a stack I hadn't noticed earlier. Instead of a birthday cake, there was a pyramid stack of eighteen doughnuts.

"Have I told you today just how much I love you, Comrade?" I groaned looking at the pile rapaciously.

He chuckled. "Just once or twice," he confirmed lovingly, pretending not to notice the slightly surprised looks from my friends. This was the first time they'd seen Dimitri and I interacting like an average couple. I was grateful Dimitri and I weren't the only partners there. Christian and Lissa, and then Eddie and Chelsea, claimed sofas together as we sat eating pizza and helping ourselves to the soda on tap.

We were finishing the first round of pizzas when the discussion turned to the movie. It was decided guys could choose the first film, and girls the second. Dimitri shrugged his shoulders when asked what he wanted to watch. I knew he didn't care, and he didn't want to influence the decision by weighing in on the options suggested.

Mason was particularly quiet, and I turned to look at him to find him occupying a sofa with Angela, and while they were sitting at separate ends, I noticed his hand was lightly resting on one of her feet where it lay on a pillow in his lap. I shot him a knowing smile and then agreed as they decided to watch some action film I'd barely heard of.

Celeste turned off the lights before she flopped down next to Meredith on a sofa and switched on the movie. Dimitri opened his arms to me, and I lay back against him, smiling contently as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his huge hands on my baby bump. I saw Lissa give us an encouraging smile when she saw him drop a little kiss on my neck. Lissa and Christian, as well as Eddie and Chelsea, were cuddled up together under their quilts giving them a chance to do some private cuddling, but since I knew Dimitri wanted to limit the PDA, I was happy enough with this.

The movie was entertaining, but there was the usual banter, derision and sarcastic comments made at regular intervals, and of course, I had to have a bathroom break halfway through, using the opportunity to load up with more pizza.

"Vlad! Do you ever stop _eating_?" Christian asked. I don't think he meant to be narky – he was just astounded by how much I could put away.

The entire room bristled, and Lissa looked at him mortified, but I chose to let it go.

"Meh. If a girl can't use being pregnant as an excuse to eat like a pig, when can she?" I said gleefully, taking another bite of pizza.

"So what was your excuse before you got knocked up?" Mase teased, trying to smooth over the moment.

I felt Dimitri tense even more. I know he hated the term knocked up. It sounded so cheap; reducing our miracle to something vulgar and a mistake. But I was seventeen – well eighteen now - and pregnant. It _had_ been accidental. But not planned didn't have to be the same as not wanted, so I squeezed my Russian God's hand letting him know I knew how he felt.

The movie now over, people were using the opportunity to move around and refresh their drinks, grab more of the popcorn Dimitri had spent the afternoon making or get more pizza. We sat munching for a moment before Lissa decided it was presents time.

"Open this one first," Dimitri said, handing me an awkwardly wrapped bundle. Ripping off the wrapping, I found a new digital SLR camera. A huge step up from my hand-me-down point and click from Lissa, this bad boy was capable of taking some seriously good shots.

"I thought you might want some photos of your party, milaya," Dimitri explained. Lissa grabbed the camera from me and started taking pics as I thanked my Russian God with a long, smoldering kiss. So much for no PDA!

There weren't many gifts. Lissa and Christian gave me a joint gift of an engraved silver-backed hairbrush. It was very similar to the one Tasha had bought for Lissa, so I could see where the inspiration came from. Still – I did have long hair, and maybe in the cottage, I'd have room for a dressing table - and it was nice to think I'd think of them every day as I brushed my hair.

"Thanks, guys! It's beautiful and so thoughtful," I said, meaning every word.

Mason and Eddie surprised me with a small present each too. Knowing their wallets were as slim as mine, I was surprised. We didn't usually 'do' gifts. Mase went first.

"I know it's been like fourteen years, but I'm ready to part with it now," he said with a gleam in his eye. Perplexed I unwrapped a present the size of a matchbox, to discover a bright red matchbox car. Mason's pride and joy as a four-year-old, I'd beaten him up one day trying to get possession of it when he wouldn't share. I'd never got the car, but after our kindergarten teacher Miss Rumble got us out of our timeout, I'd made a lifelong friend.

"Thanks," I said laughing and throwing myself into his arms.

"Maybe your little one can play with it one day?" he said with a smile. "You can tell them it was Uncle Mase's."

"You got it, Duckie," I promised, tucking it carefully into my duffel bag.

"Well that's hard to top, but I saw these online and thought of you," Eddie mumbled shyly. I unwrapped his present to see an ordinary pair of workout gloves but in hot pink with 'Rose' stitched onto the back of each. "That way you won't lose your gloves again!"

I hugged him, thanking him for the thoughtful gift. He was right - I was always losing my sparring gloves, but these being so bright, and labeled, I doubt they'd go walkabouts.

Everyone turned back to Dimitri and me as he passed across his other gifts. A thick photo album, a charm bracelet with several charms on it and finally a solid silver keyring in the shape of a heart with a Cyrillic engraving on it. I handed the last one around, and Lissa was admiring it when I asked my Russian God what the writing meant.

Lissa looked up at Dimitri smiling.

"My reading isn't great, but I think it means, 'Where you live so does my heart.' Is that right?"

Dimitri nodded smiling at me.

"Close enough," he acknowledged. "I thought you could hang the keys to our new place on it," he whispered. I nodded getting a little teary. It was time to tell my friends this wasn't just a birthday party, it was a farewell party, too.

"So… Dimitri and I have some news… and no – it's _not_ that I'm pregnant," I joked clumsily. "Dimitri's accepted a new out of State allocation leaving tomorrow. And I'm going with him."

Lissa and Christian didn't look surprised, but everyone else looked stunned.

"You haven't seen the last of me," I promised. "We've negotiated with Kirova for me to study offsite, so I still need to fly back in for exams and graduation. But we're leaving tomorrow to start our life together."

"Where are you going?" Celeste gasped.

I looked at Dimitri.

"We're not saying just yet. There are a few people we'd just like to disappear from," I said delicately avoiding Christian's gaze, "so we thought if no one knew, no one could slip up," I explained. "But I can tell you we'll be living in a gorgeous little cottage with a spare room, so be sure to stay in touch via email or phone and let me know your travels. If you're nearby, you can come visit!"

"So are you all packed?" Mason asked, struggling to grasp that tonight was it.

"Yep. We packed yesterday and today. Both our rooms are completely bare. All our boxes are stowed ready to go. All we've got left to take we have here," I said pointing to our duffel bags. "We're going to do breakfast tomorrow with you all and then head off."

"It won't be the same without you here, Rose," Meredith said – almost the first words to pass her lips all night.

"Well, you'll see us again and soon. Besides, in a few weeks, it will be goodbye for all of us. It's almost time for us to head out into the wide world," I joked.

"Trust you, Rose," Eddie said looking at me. "The first thing in your _life_ you're early for, and it had to be leaving the Academy!"

"It's amazing considering you caught up on two years of school in what – seven months?" Angela said admiringly. "When you first came back everyone said there was no way you'd be able to catch up. But you did it!"

"I had a phenomenal teacher," I said, looking up to my Russian God, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him lovingly, enjoying the feeling as his strong hands slipped around my waist, holding me as he returned my kiss.

* * *

I'd parked the car in some bushes on the side of the road that bordered the eastern edge of the Academy. The grounds were huge, so after I scaled the fence, it would still be quite a walk to the cabin. But it was light out, so there'd be few guards, and my chances of being observed were minimal.

It was 9 am by the time I slipped into the cabin. Not as well furnished as it had been when I'd last stayed, there was still a sofa, the bed, and mattress plus some blankets. Most importantly, the door locked from the inside and there were blockout blinds at the windows, so unless someone was feeling particularly inquisitive, I'd be able to hide out here unnoticed.

I lay back on the bare mattress with a bottle of whiskey pondering how to execute the next stage of my plan. I needed to find out where Dimitri's room was. I knew it was in the Guardian block, but I couldn't exactly go knocking on doors to find which was his. I was trusting to fate that he wouldn't be on duty. Ages ago he told me rarely got duties in daylight hours because of his training sessions with Rose, but now she had passed her combat tests maybe that had changed? I was confident she wouldn't be in his room with him. They might tolerate some affection when a mentor returned from the dead, but there's no way Alberta or the Headmistress would tolerate a student sleeping in a Guardian's bed. Especially a student who'd already revealed herself to be a slut by getting herself up the duff with God knows who. I was honestly stunned she was still enrolled at the school at all, but Christian had assured me she was.

I waited, running how our meeting was going to go through my head. I had the baby blue underwear I'd bought in my bag ready. It looked great against my skin and brought out my eyes. And I knew he loved the color. Years ago I'd randomly asked him his favorite color, and he'd said blue. That had been the moment I'd started to love him. He hadn't said he was thinking about my eyes when he'd said it – but he'd been looking right at me – so I'd known where he'd drawn his inspiration.

It was midday when I made my move. I dressed in my sexy underwear, brushed my hair, applied a little makeup and put on a wrap dress and slip on shoes. Perfectly respectable if I was observed, the dress was done up with just a tie at the waist – so Dimka wouldn't have to waste time getting to the delights which lay beneath. I couldn't wait to consummate our love, and being right in the middle of my cycle I was quietly hopeful that soon the bitch wouldn't be the only one to sport a baby bump. Now I knew she really was pregnant, I didn't want to waste any time becoming likewise. And unlike her child, Dimka would _know_ our baby was his.

I was walking across campus when I saw a Guardian in the distance. I could slip past him, or wait for him to move on, but I called out, smiling as I approached. I was in luck – he didn't use his radio to call me in, so a little compulsion got me what I wanted.

"Where is Guardian Belikov's room?"

"Third floor of the Guardian building. Fourth from the end on the left. Room 316," the Guardian dutifully replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's two down from my own."

"What about Novice Hathaway's room."

"Third floor of the Novices dorm. I don't know the room number, but it's down the far end, and it has a poster on the outside of the door."

"Where else will Guardians be patrolling tonight?"

He answered, confirming my suspicions. Only a few outdoor guards.

"Give me your keys," I ordered after checking they would open the doors I'd require. Then I compelled him to forget he'd ever seen me. He was resistant, so it took a couple of goes, but it should be strong enough to hold until I got to Dimka's room - and if they found me then, he could tell them we were lovers, and I was sneaking in for some alone time with him.

I walked up to the Academy, careful to stick to the shadows and building edges where I would be less likely to be observed. The door to the back stairwell in the Guardian block opened soundlessly with the key, and I padded silently upstairs holding my shoes in my hand so they'd make no noise against the concrete stairs. Peeking my head around the corner of the third-floor hallway, it was empty. A long corridor with plain timber doors interspersed at regular intervals. I walked determinedly towards room 316. Confirming the number above the door, I slipped the key into the lock. The door opened, and I stepped into the darkness. The daylight blinds were closed, so it was dark, but even in the dimness, I could tell the room was untenanted. It was completely empty – a bed with a bare mattress and a chest of drawers its only occupants. I stepped inside and closed the door to rethink my plans when I was struck by a scent lingering in the room. A pine fragrance I'd know anywhere. Dimka's aftershave! I walked into the bathroom where the smell was stronger. Looking into the shower stall, I could see there was still water pooled on the base. He'd showered here, and recently. But he'd also moved out.

I could feel my rage rising inside me. It was almost like he was _trying_ to avoid me. I'd traveled all this way, made myself beautiful for his appreciation, and he didn't have the decency to wait for me. I'd show him! I'd show them all!

I looked at the mattress, forcing the heat and anger from myself and onto its fabric cover. A spark at first, it was soon a crackling blaze. I stepped out of the room locking it behind me, running in bare feet down the hallway towards the far stairs. I was out of the building and halfway to the Novices dorms when I heard the fire alarm go off and Guardians starting to rouse. Good! That would keep them occupied while I dealt with the little bitch. Even if Dimka wasn't in her room with her, I still owed the bitch a visit!

I had no trouble finding her room – it was exactly as the Guardian had described it. I paused for a moment looking at the poster of some singer from a band on her door. It just went to show how young she was – I had no idea who the band was. Letting myself into her room, I was prepared for just about anything. I hoped I wouldn't have to see my Dimka there, but if I did, then I would handle it. What I couldn't handle was what I found. This room, too, was empty.

Both their dorm rooms being empty couldn't be a coincidence. They'd moved somewhere together. Or moved _out._ It was my worst fear. She'd taken him and gone. I was looking at that stupid poster on her door as flames started to lick along its edges. With a flash of my will, her mattress also started to smolder. I put my shoes on and walked down the corridor, only vaguely aware of the fire alarm starting to ring. I walked past panicked students as they spilled out into the stairwell evacuating the building. By the time the Guardians arrived, I was in the edge of the trees hidden from view. The whole campus was up now – so if by some chance my Dimka was still here, I'd be sure to see him.

* * *

I was cuddled against Dimitri's chest enjoying the second film, and my third doughnut when Celeste's radio crackled into life. Fire – in the Guardian's quarters. She listened carefully, going around and securing the windows and bolting the door, taking a defensive stance in front of it. Turning off the movie, she looked at Dimitri.

"Are you armed, D?"

A Guardian was never without their stakes, so I knew she meant something else. She meant a firearm.

"I am," he said, instantly on alert. Moving me gently aside, he stood up and pulled a small handgun I didn't know he was carrying from a concealed holster inside his duster.

"There was a fire in the Guardian dorms. Your old room. It's been extinguished."

Dimitri looked straight at me. He didn't have to say what he was thinking. Tasha Ozera was a fire user. Celeste was waiting for more info over the radio when Dimitri's phone rang. Answering it, he listened for a few minutes before he started swearing in Russian. I had no idea what he was saying, so I looked to Lissa who was able to understand enough to comprehend whatever was happening was serious. He spoke again in English, mostly agreeing to what was being said.

He hung up and immediately called another number.

"We need to get off campus _now_. A fire has been set in my old dorm room, a second in Rose's. It's obviously targeted. No one has so far been identified. Rose is here with me, and we're mobilizing to get to get to the airfield straight away."

Getting off the phone Dimitri was barking orders to Celeste, then Eddie, Mason, Meredith, Chelsea, and Angela.

"Female Novices, when you're given the word you are to accompany Guardian Matthews back to the Princess's dorm room. You will stay there with her until given the all clear. Castile and Ashford – you are to escort Christian back to his dorm room and likewise stay with him until cleared," Dimitri ordered. "Roza? We need to leave campus now. Get your things together," he said as calmly as he could. "Alberta is bringing a team to get us. We're not sure of the nature or extent of the threat, so she's taking every precaution."

I quickly packed my bag with my birthday presents, managing to shove my favorite pillow in my bag and the quilt his family had made him into Dimitri's. I then hugged my friends one by one and waited for Alberta to arrive.

Dimitri's phone rang again, and he gave Celeste the cue to open the door. Alberta came in followed by Stan, Ramirez, and Chaung. They were all armed with guns. Alberta was carrying a bullet-proof vest and helmet, and putting her gun down on the table started strapping them on to me. I could hear Dimitri making plans with the other Guardians on how to get me out.

"Webster is waiting to bring the van around. We'll climb in and head straight for the airstrip," Alberta ordered.

"If there's any contact I'll engage," Dimitri said. "She's focused her negative feelings on Rose, but it's me she wants," he explained. "I'll stall for time while you get Rose away."

"Comrade? I'm not letting you go out there with her. She's crazy! I'm signed off on the combat aspects of a Guardian now too, you know. I'll not be shipped off like some delicate flower while you put yourself in danger for me!"

"Rose? If you want to be a Guardian, _act like one_ ," Alberta said fiercely. "You have precious cargo on board – of course getting you out safely is Belikov's priority." She helped me lift our bags onto my shoulders. "At any sign of trouble you're to drop and follow Guardians Chaung and Alto without hesitation," she ordered. I nodded, and with a final grim smile to my friends we were off, moving silently down the corridor – me surrounded by five Guardians, guns drawn. We made it down the stairs, and on the final landing Alberta signaled for us to pause while she radioed Webster to bring the van around.

A squeal of tires announced his arrival. Chaung raced forward and opened the side door, and I was quickly inside, followed by Alberta, Stan, Chaung, and Ramirez. Dimitri was the last to pile in, ordering me to duck down below the window height as he pulled the van door closed. I lay on my side on the seat, Dimitri sitting awkwardly in the foot space of the entryway to the van. The second he'd pulled the door shut, Webster had taken off. But instead of the road that skirted the perimeter of the buildings, he was driving across the pristine grass of the Academy's front lawn. There was a bump as he rejoined the driveway further down and then we were hurtling towards the Academy's airstrip.

Dimitri's phone rang again, and he answered it listening intently.

"We're on our way now. Grey van. I'll confirm when we have a visual… Webster? Flash the lights when you can see the plane… Yes – that's us now."

I looked up and could see the plane in the distance. The engines were running, and the stairs were flanked by Guardians also with guns drawn.

"Milaya? I'm going to open the door, and you're to run up those stairs and onto the plane. I'm going to be right behind you, ok?"

"Ok Comrade," I said tensely, preparing to do exactly as he said.

We pulled up with a squeal of tires, and I was on my feet running onto the plane. True to his word, my Russian God was right behind me. I walked on shaking legs down to where Abe was sitting. Dimitri helped me take off my bags but instructed me to strap in straight away with my bullet-proof vest still on. He sat beside me, strapping himself in as the other Guardians quickly boarded and stowed the stairs.

"Get us out of here. _Now_!" Pavel barked towards the cockpit.

Suddenly we were tearing down the runway at breakneck speed. Nothing at all like the gentle takeoffs of my previous three flights, I could hear the engines screaming as we reached critical velocity as quickly as possible. The wheels left the runway, and we climbed steeply, the force pushing me back into my seat. A few minutes later we leveled off, and Dimitri unbuckled me. He carefully pulled off the vest and helmet I was wearing and pulled me onto his lap as I started crying in shock.

"Shh milaya. It's all over now," he promised, rocking me in his arms.


	51. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 28

I woke to an empty bed. Dimitri's side was cold, so he'd been up for some time. I rolled over and walked to our bathroom having a quick shower and getting myself dressed. I was back in our room in Abe's guest unit, and I'd managed to sleep until past midnight.

"Hello, Rose! Guardian Belikov was about to send me to wake you," Alyce said from behind the kitchen counter when I descended the stairs. "I've got chicken and mushroom casserole with crusty bread, but I can make you something more breakfasty if you want?"

"Casserole is fine," I assured her as Dimitri, Abe and Pavel walked in for lunch.

"Hello milaya," Dimitri greeted me tenderly, leaning down to brush his lips against mine as he and Abe walked into the kitchen. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"I did," I admitted taking a seat at the table. "I think Junior and I needed it. What have you been up to?"

"Making plans for what needs to be done at the property. We're meeting with human contractors at the property at 8 am. If you're up to it, I thought you might like to go to the human mall and get what we'll need for the unit? Kirk and some of the Guardians will go with you as they need to order for the Guardian quarters."

"Use your credit card and get whatever you need. You'll need a bed, a sofa, fridge and pots and pans and all those other things. Alyce? Could you help Rose make up a list?" Abe requested. Alyce was almost bouncing on the spot with glee, and I had to admit the prospect of buying a whole unit full of stuff for the place I was going to share with Dimitri was kind of exciting!

She put bowls of food in front of us, and for the next few minutes, I was busy eating and listening to the latest developments from back at the Academy. They'd not managed to apprehend anyone concerning the fires, but there was no doubt they'd been deliberately lit. The one in Dimitri's room had been extinguished quickly, but as my end of the female Novice's floor had been vacant because of my party, the fire in my room had had greater time to take hold. It had been confined, but my former room had been gutted.

"There were a couple of reports of an unknown female Moroi with dark hair in the stairwell as the Novice dorm was being evacuated, but no one was paying enough attention to be able to positively identify her as Tasha Ozera," Dimitri grumbled.

"I should probably call Lissa and let her know we've made it to where we were going safely," I said. "She'll be worried. Celeste too."

"Ok. But remember – not even a hint of where we are, Roza. It's not that I don't trust them, but I don't want to risk Tasha following us."

After lunch, Abe and Pavel disappeared back into Abe's study while Dimitri lingered for a moment.

"Don't go nuts with your buying," he said sweetly. "Just get enough for the unit. Once the cottage is finished, we'll go shopping for furnishings and things for the baby together," he promised lovingly.

I helped Alyce clear the lunch dishes and we sat down at the table.

"It's hard to know what to buy without seeing the place. Was there anything at all in there?" she asked.

"Not that I can recall," I said, straining to remember. When we'd toured the place, I hadn't known Dimitri and I might end up living there, so I hadn't paid a lot of attention.

"Well let's start with the kitchen. You'll need glasses, a dinner set, cutlery, cookware, some cooking utensils, and knives. You probably won't need a full-size fridge if it's just the two of you, but remember to measure the fridge cavity when you're there so what you order fits."

I was already shaking my head. I so wasn't a details person.

Noticing my bewilderment, Alyce suggested, "Why don't I see if my sitter can take my boy to her place overnight? She does it if I need to work a late shift. I can come with you to the property and see what's there, and then we can go to the shops together?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose," I said, secretly not wanting to put her off. There's no way I was going to be able to do this alone.

"Are you kidding? This is going to be fun!" Alyce said grinning from ear to ear. I knew from our last mission Alyce loved to shop!

Dimitri was in Abe's office with Pavel, and the three of them looked up from a tense discussion when I knocked.

"Sorry to interrupt," I said shyly, explaining the idea of Alyce accompanying me shopping.

"That's an excellent idea," Abe enthused. "Besides, I wouldn't mind her insight into how to remodel the kitchen in the main house," he said.

After that Alyce and I made lists. I couldn't see how we could _possibly_ need so much, but by the time you bought a bed, linens, towels, etc. it all added up.

"We might as well just get the big things at the shops," Alyce said. "We can order the rest of the stuff online and get them to deliver," she explained. So I dragged out my St. Vlad's laptop, and we spent the next three hours adding items to the cart. I explained how it was a country sort of a place, so I didn't want anything too modern or shiny. We were able to get a lot of plain 'starter' sets, which saved time as they had all the basics we needed and I was happy to notice they were well priced.

"You don't want to waste your time and money buying fancy glasses and dishes," Alyce suggested. "You'll get bored of them in no time, and then you'll end up replacing them. Just get nice plain good quality basics that you can mix and match then splash out on a fancy platter or two to jazz up the look."

I was laughing to myself thinking I couldn't see myself ever becoming interested enough in table design to want to _'jazz things up'_ but I did see the value in mix and match and keeping things simple.

I thought we were done, but Alyce kept adding things she insisted we'd need; a simple vase, chopping boards, salt and pepper grinders, a bottle opener, a baking tray, barbecue knives, some kitchen towels for washing up and a pitcher for water or lemonade. Finally, even she declared we were 'done' and I looked at the cart in horror. Individually everything had seemed well priced, but the total was still rather alarming. I was looking through the cart wondering what to remove when Abe came in, interested to hear about what we'd selected. I took him through the cart showing him our choices before explaining I was about to start culling.

"Why?" he asked perplexed. "Everything in there seems very reasonable."

"But it's come to _over a thousand dollars_ , Abe!" I'd moaned. Actually, it was closer to two.

"Yes. And I'm amazed you've managed it all for so little. There still some big ticket items to get, but you're doing well. Don't forget to get lamps for your bedroom, a fruit bowl and a rug for the floor," he advised, noticing these things were missing. "And please don't worry about the cost, Rose. Your father is a very wealthy man. You could spend this amount every day for the rest of your life, and it wouldn't make a dint on his wealth. You're hardly being extravagant – please get whatever you need and don't forget a few treats, too."

Alyce nodded, taking that as an invitation to add a crockpot to the cart.

"Crockpot cooking is easy. You can make heaps of different things, and you just leave it all day, so it's ready when you are. Here are a couple of simple cookbooks we'll get, too," she insisted, also adding them to the cart.

I nodded, suddenly wondering what I'd gotten myself into. Vases? Crockpots? Fruit bowls? I was supposed to be a _Guardian_ for hell's sake, not Betty Crocker. My life was meant to be about missions and Strigoi, not baking and playing house. I was resting my head on the table moaning and trying not to panic when my Russian God followed Alyce back into the room. She'd apparently gone to get him.

"Roza?" he asked, recognizing the start of a Hathaway meltdown when he saw one. I saw Alyce discreetly go upstairs to give us some privacy.

"I can't cook, Dimitri," I confessed looking up at him.

He looked at me in confusion.

"I can't bake. I can't make a proper meal. I tried to bake cookies once when Lissa and I were on the run and nearly burned the house down. I trained to be a _Guardian_ , not a homemaker Comrade. I don't know if I can do this playing house thing. I mean – what am I going to _do_ all day?!"

"Oh milaya," he chuckled. "Calm down. No one said anything about you being a homemaker. You're just ordering the things we'll need to live together. I'm sorry I didn't consider it might upset you. I don't expect you to cook or take care of me. We're just two people in love living together, ok? You're a student studying for your finals living with your Guardian boyfriend."

"But what about when I graduate? You'll be working all day – what will I _do_? How will it work?"

"Well, we'll probably run more on daylight hours because I'll be supervising the contractors on site. I see us working out in the mornings like we always have. You'll need to slow down more as the pregnancy progresses, but that doesn't mean we can't still do our morning sessions together. During the day I hope you'll keep me company as I do errands and work on the property. I know it's going to be a bit of a change of pace for both of us; this isn't the life I'm used to either. But I'm looking forward to giving it a go, milaya."

"Everything's just happening so fast. You've been back a week, and here we are moved halfway across the country, away from everyone I know."

"It's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it?" he laughed. "And you're not the only one freaking out, ok? I rang Mama in a panic on Friday when I realized I'm going to be a Papa."

"When you realized?"

"When it sunk in. I knew before, but it clicked, and I got a bit worried."

"Really?" I asked, looking at his embarrassed expression. "I'm not used to seeing you freak out."

"It doesn't happen often," he noted wryly. "Now how about you show me all these things you've picked for us?"

I felt a _lot_ better with him going through the house stuff with me. He had a few suggestions of his own; adding a doormat, switching the light colored towels for darker ones and suggesting a wall-mounted TV as it would take up less room in the small space. I finally pressed order and typed in the credit card details for our purchases. The trip to town would now be for the big things; fridge, bed, mattress, sofa, table, and chairs. It all felt a lot more manageable.

I was in good spirits again by the time we ate dinner. Crockpot lasagna, it was delicious, and I was a little intrigued when Alyce promised it was an easy dish to make. Maybe I needed to look into this a bit more? I wasn't planning on becoming a housewife, but it'd be good to be able to cook a few dishes.

By 7.30 am we were all ready. Nine of us in total, the plan was to head to the property and take the necessary measurements before Alyce, three Guardians and I would drive forty minutes to town to organize our purchases. Mine the large furniture for the workshop unit, the Guardians the beds, linens, sofas, tables and chairs, fridge, washing machine and dryer needed to start kitting out the Guardian quarters.

When we arrived at the property the contractors were waiting, so Alyce and I went straight to the workshop unit with Kirk, who Pavel had instructed to assist us with our measuring. I took a good look around this time, and looking at it with fresh eyes I started to get rather excited. It had two bedrooms – one quite large and the other one tiny. Enough for a single bed and not a whole lot more, it would do as a nursery if Dimitri didn't get the cottage finished in time.

Checking the cupboards carefully there was nothing there other than a few dead flies, so we'd been right to order everything. It was quite dusty, but it was all surface mess. The timber floors were well-sealed, and the walls looked clean. Alyce was delighted with the space but was already full of useful suggestions.

"I see what you mean about the country look," she said looking around. "There's not a lot of kitchen storage, but this is the perfect spot for a pot rack," she said gesturing to a spot above the cooker. "It will free up a lot of cupboard space. Same if you wanted to consider a plate rack or open shelves."

Both were good suggestions and not things I would have thought of.

"You could also add another cupboard here," Alyce continued, considering how to make the kitchen a more functional space. She tested the stove and found it was faulty, three of the four burners not working. Measuring up, she suggested replacing that too.

"What are your plans for this place once the cottage is finished?" she asked curiously.

"Many of our friends and Dimitri's family live away, so they'd be likely to visit for a few weeks or even months at a time," I said, thinking about Dimitri's Russian family. "We thought to keep this place for guests to give them and us our privacy."

"Then you probably won't need a large cooker. One of the smaller models will do. You could use the extra space there for another cupboard."

Checking the taps, Rose was pleased to find the water pressure was good although there was no hot water. Kirk was sent outside to investigate, only to discover the hot water unit was completely shot.

"We'll mention it to the contractors up at the house," Alyce assured. "They can put a new one in. I notice there's no heating in here, but you should be fine over summer. Perhaps once you move into the cottage, you can have heating added, although I suppose the wood stove may give enough warmth?" she said looking at it dubiously.

Set with measurements and our lists, we walked up to the main house. Joining Abe and Dimitri, Alyce had a quick look at the kitchen giving a quick opinion there, too.

"But I'll have a think about it," she promised.

"Do," Abe encouraged the young woman. "I know you've worked casually at some of the finest houses in Court, and I want my kitchen and home to rival anything you've seen. While most of the time it won't be used to full capacity, I like to throw the occasional large party, and I want my place to be up to scratch."

With a quick kiss for my Russian God and a promise to meet back at the property by midday, soon we were setting off to the large township ready to order our big-ticket items. On the way there we passed through the human village Abe had mentioned, and I spotted a quaint little second-hand store along the small main street.

"Can we stop here for a moment?" I asked shyly. I'd seen something on the sidewalk I wanted to look at a little more closely. "I'll be quick; I just want to look at that second-hand shop."

Kirk shrugged and pulled over, and we piled out of the van. Walking back to the shop, I stopped and admired the big wooden rocking chair I'd seen from the van. Sturdy and stable it was obviously old. I sat in it and was surprised by how comfortable it was.

"I know Dimitri said to hold off on things for the cottage, but I love this," I said looking up at Alyce. "If I put it beside the wood burning stove, there'd be room for it in the unit don't you think?"

"If there isn't there are about a hundred places around the property you could store it until you're ready," she said with a smile. "You're imagining it in a nursery, aren't you?"

"I guess so," I said blushing a little. "When I was little I always imagined sitting on someone's lap being rocked in a chair like this," I admitted a little wistfully.

Alyce looked at the price.

"It's not expensive; I say you get it."

I'd decided to do just that, and was walking inside to make my purchase when Alyce pulled me aside to look at a table and chairs she'd spotted. Simple and plain, the table was worn with years of use, the matching chairs honest and solid.

"It's drop leaf and the chairs sit under neatly. It would save a lot of space," Alyce pointed out. A pale wood, it was unpretentious and would work in the simple, bright space that was starting to come together in my mind. Modestly priced, Alyce was right. I wasn't going to find anything that suited my little workshop home any better. I pottered around a few more minutes, conscious the Guardians had purchases of their own they needed go to town to make. Negotiating the sale of the rocking chair, table, and chairs, I asked whether they could hold them for a couple of days if necessary.

"We're headed into town now, but I could maybe pick up some of them up around 11 am if you could hold the rest?"

"By the end of the week will be fine, but I'll be here 'til four today," the old man running the shop said happily ringing up my sale. "Your first child?" he asked looking at the gentle swell of my stomach that was now unmistakably a baby bump.

"Yes – and that rocking chair is going to be just the thing," I said with a big grin and a flush of maternal happiness.

Shopping in the main township was exhausting, but thanks to Alyce's methodical planning was quite quick. In under an hour and a half, we'd picked a fridge, a new cooker, bed, mattress and a large comfortable brown leather sofa.

"This is perfect," Alyce agreed, laughing as the two of us flopped onto it, one on each end. It was the sort of sofa that even brand new looked comfortably worn. I let Alyce convince me to get the matching ottoman. It opened to offer blanket storage and could double as an extra seat when we had visitors.

Abe's Guardians came to find us when they were done with their purchases, negotiating to have everything delivered in a few days time. I climbed back into the van, congratulating myself on a job well done. Driving back into the township right on eleven, this time I let myself have a good look around the second-hand store. It was filled with little treasures, and I could see this being the first place I took Dimitri once we started to furnish the cottage. Deciding to add a cute little vintage writing bureau cum bookshelf to my purchases, I looked around trying to locate the old man to ask him to ring it up. Coming outside, I was confronted with one of the most amusing sights I'd seen in a long time.

A blanket had been spread across the van's flat roof, and my table strapped upside down on top. Within the four legs of the table, my rocking chair was on its side also securely fastened with rope. The six chairs for the table were neatly piled inside the van. There'd be no need to come back for anything.

"Um, guys? I wanted to buy one more thing," I said apologetically, laughing as Kirk mumbled something under his breath about women and shopping.

Following the vendor back into the shop, he rang up my bureau and directed the Guardians to take it outside. He was able to find space for it in the van's trunk, strapping the lift back down to prevent it falling out.

"Have you got far to go?" he asked, surveying the van with amusement.

"Not far - we're just ten minutes down the road. I can send the guys back with your blanket and rope."

"No hurry, bring them back when you're next in. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a bit of you. I'm Murray," he said introducing himself and holding out his hand.

"Rose," I shook his hand smiling. "My boyfriend and I are doing up an old cottage just down the way," I explained. "So I'll be needing to furnish it soon."

"Well you know where we are," he said kindly, insisting I take a jar of his wife's plum jam with me.

I couldn't go without taking a quick photo on my phone of the loaded van, then with a farewell, I climbed in as we started our slow drive back to the property. We arrived just before midday, the contractors having already departed. Kirk honked the horn to attract the attention of Abe, Dimitri, Pavel, and the other Guardian who'd stayed behind. They came out onto the verandah of the main house, eyes widening as they took in the loaded van.

"Hey honey, I'm home," I joked stepping out of the van and laughing at Dimitri's flummoxed expression.

* * *

They'd been on campus. Both of them. I'd been hiding in the treeline watching the Novice dorm evacuation when I spotted a small team of armed Guardians at the foot of the Moroi dorm building. Initially, I thought they were entering to protect the royals. As the last of her line, possibly Lissa. But five minutes later I saw the unmistakable duster clad figure of my love accompanying the team of Guardians as they bundled a helmeted, vested Rose into the back of a van.

It had taken off immediately, driving across the lawn in the quickest route away from the buildings. I'd assumed they were taking the little bitch off campus by road, but when the van deviated to the west, I knew they must be heading for the Academy's runway. A car had left the guest accommodations in the same direction a few minutes before, but it had been too far away for me to spot its occupants. Minutes later, when a plane lifted off fast and hard into the sky, I appreciated she was gone. The little bitch had escaped. And I could only assume she'd taken my love with her.

I was furious. Angry enough to set the entire bloody campus on fire. But I had a more pressing concern. I needed to get out of here. I ran to the cabin, shoving the empty bottle of whiskey into my bag and obscuring any evidence of my visit before moving as fast as I dared towards where I'd left my car. Wiping the Guardian keys with my shirt, I hoped it would be enough to smear any fingerprints as I flung them in the general direction of the wards. If my luck and compulsion held, the Guardian I'd spoken to might think he'd just dropped his keys. And if not? Well, I intended to be _long_ gone by the time anyone thought to mount a search.

I needed a place to lie low. Somewhere _no one_ would see me and where no one would think to look for me. I was still wracking my brain as I approached the outer walls of campus. I wasn't sure which way the car was parked, so guessing I headed left. Luck was on my side because after five minutes of fast walking I saw the glimmer of a taillight from within the thicket of trees where I'd left my vehicle.

The car started first go, and I let the engine idle as inspiration struck. I pulled a map out of the glove box. It wasn't super detailed, but it showed me the major roads to get to where I needed to go. And better still, I knew how to get there without having to do an official border crossing. Pulling onto the road, I drove carefully away from the Academy, taking care to drive sedately to attract no attention. It was bright out, and I should be tired, but I was still running on adrenaline. I had more than enough anger to keep me going for the four-hour drive. And now I thought about it; I fancied a doughnut. In fact, I even had a handful of loonies in my wallet from my last visit.

* * *

"She looks happy, doesn't she," Pavel said in an undertone, watching as Dimitri unloaded the van and dutifully admired Rose's treasures.

"She does," I said, marveling at the wonder that was my daughter. The more time I spent with her, the more of a mystery she was to me. She was content with so little, rarely asking for anything for herself. But the strangest things would bring her to tears. I suspected much of that was due to the pregnancy hormones; Dimitri had explained she wasn't normally so emotional, or that when she was, her usual fallback was anger, not tears.

Pavel and I had had a tense discussion with my son-in-law before we'd come out to the property today. The situation at the Academy had gotten _completely_ out of hand. While I believed Dimitri when he'd said he'd never thought the Ozera woman would take things as far as she had, enough was enough, and I wasn't prepared to let things continue in this way.

Dimitri was to take Rose to the property and use every technique at his disposal to keep her there. I didn't mind them taking trips to the small human township or the larger human town – but under _no_ circumstances was she to be seen out and about at Court. Happily, Rose's disinclination for anything fancy or ostentatious worked in our favor there. Court was the _last_ place she wanted to be.

Through the contractors, I'd arranged for the hot water service on their unit to be replaced before sundown, and a cleaning crew would also be giving their little home and the Guardian accommodations a thorough going over. I'd called and offered the store where they'd shopped today a bonus to drop off as much as they could at 9 am tomorrow, and I'd ordered more Guardians from one of my other locations to arrive within the next twenty-four hours. Power, gas, high-speed Internet, cable television, and all the other luxuries Rose and my Guardians might need were being arranged – the plan being that by this time tomorrow Rose, Dimitri and a handful of Guardians would be safely installed on-site. Or more to the point, _out_ of sight.

She could study. He could work on the property and their cottage. But above all I wanted them hidden from the public eye while I tracked down this Ozera woman and took care of her. One way or another.

I'd been prepared for Dimitri to object - perhaps even beg for leniency for his former friend. But he'd risen inestimably in my regard when he'd looked at me unflinchingly and told me that he had no issue with me doing whatever it took to ensure Rose's safety. My daughter and grandchild deserved someone they could rely on. Someone to be the man they needed and to make the hard choices, but putting them first. While I flattered myself I would be that man for my little girl, I was grudgingly starting to appreciate it looked like Dimitri would be too.


	52. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 29

"It's all happening here," I mumbled as we pulled up to the property. Contractors were parked near the main house, having already started ripping fittings out and discarding them into a large skip bin. And down by the workshop more cars were parked, which is where Pavel drove the van.

"I've arranged for the deliveries to be made at nine. The unit has been cleaned, and these young men are going to help you move your things in," Abe explained to me, inclining his head towards his Guardians. "You're not to lift a thing."

"Fine" I grumbled about the lifting, but it was with a smile. While a place to stay at Abe's unit had been a godsend, it was hard for Dimitri to be living as a guest of his now employer. That and we were both _seriously_ wanting some privacy. "I don't know how Dimitri and I can ever thank you enough," I said not for the first time, appreciating how uncertain things had looked before Abe's appearance in my life and then his unexpected allocation offer to Dimitri.

"My pleasure," he grinned climbing out of the van. "Now… before I forget, we've already had another delivery."

He walked over and stood next to the three vehicles parked in front of the workshop.

"Kirk? This is the Guardian van for this property. It seats eleven. Work out with Belikov where to garage it short and long-term," he instructed, tossing the thirty-something Guardian a set of keys to a brand new dark gray van with tinted windows.

"This one is also a property vehicle, but I thought you'd probably use it most of the time Belikov?" Abe continued, passing Dimitri the keys to a brand new dual-cab pickup truck. I looked at Dimitri who was almost drooling. A Chevy. My Russian cowboy would be driving a Chevy truck, and he was beyond thrilled.

It was then I looked at the last car. A small Lexus SUV in deep red it had a moon-roof and tinted windows. The smallest of the vehicles, it was also brand new and gorgeous. Abe reached across and handed me the keys.

"This is from your father for your eighteenth birthday, Rose. It's had every possible safety feature added. He wants you and his grandchild to be safe."

"No!" I gasped in awe, wasting no time in grabbing Dimitri's hand and pulling him over to look at the new car. "It's _mine?"_

"Sure is," Abe said. "Your father and I would like you to be accompanied any time you leave the property, at least until the Ozera woman is caught, but this way you can visit friends and go shopping when you need to."

I flung myself at Abe, giving him a huge hug.

"Please tell my father thank you so much. For everything! He's been so very generous!"

Abe seemed taken by surprise but returned my hug.

"I will Rose," he said quietly. "He'll be very happy you liked his gift."

"I feel like the luckiest girl in the world," I said, giving Abe a final squeeze before stepping out of his embrace.

"What do you want first, Roza? A drive in the car, or to move our things into the house?" my handsome boyfriend asked me.

It was a hard decision.

"How about I drive the car over to the main house, so it's out of the way for the truck when it arrives? Then I'll move the boxes and stuff upstairs."

"You'll be an moving nothing," Dimitri declared, dropping an affectionate kiss onto the end of my nose. "Guys? Move all the boxes in the van upstairs, please. Pile them out of the way against the far wall. Rose will tell you where she wants them in a little while."

I was surprised to hear the authoritative tone Dimitri used with the other Guardians. Friendly but firm. He opened the passenger door and motioned me in.

"Yeah, I don't think so Comrade," I laughed. "You heard the man. You get to drive the Chevy – but this baby's all mine!" I leaned into the car, adjusted the passenger seat all the way back and gestured for him to sit. He climbed into the seat with a good-natured chuckle.

"You got enough legroom?" I checked.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said sounding surprised. I knew a lot of cars didn't comfortably accommodate his large frame.

I started the car with a flourish, waved to an amused looking Abe and Pavel and drove the three hundred yards to the main house garage.

"I'll park it inside, so it doesn't get dirty," I said, pulling into the darkened empty garage. Parking carefully, I switched off the engine looking around the brand new vehicle with glee. I inhaled deeply, loving the new car smell. I rubbed my hand over the leather seats and steering wheel and looked across to my Russian God. "I've never had sex in a car before," I whispered suggestively, shuffling across the driver's seat towards where he sat.

"I know," he teased, leaning across the center console to join his lips with mine.

"Your boss voice out there turned me on," I added. "I like it when you sound so in control!"

"I didn't overdo it?" he checked. "I've commanded on missions, before but this is the first time I've had a permanent team of my own. I'm trying to get the right balance between friendly but firm. I'm channeling my inner Alberta," he joked, acknowledging the outstanding job she did of being a friend but also a leader.

"It was _perfect_ , Comrade," I assured him, remembering he was here to do a job, not just play house with me. I smiled, loving that he was confiding his worries to me.

"Come on then," he said with a sigh. "The boss man can't be seen to be shirking off and getting it on with his girlfriend on the first day."

We walked back to the workshop hand in hand, and I took the time to survey Abe's new little kingdom.

"Abe's had it warded, so I was thinking of adding a gravel running track along the inside of the fence line. It's an easy way to combine exercise with ward patrol," Dimitri explained. "I also want to put in a vegetable garden near the cottage, a basketball area off the gym and I thought we could start a little orchard where the land dips to the east?"

"It all sounds beautiful," I said, seeing a domestic side to my boyfriend I'd never seen before.

He shrugged a little embarrassed.

"We might only be here the two years, but I'd like Junior to have some of the happy memories I have from growing up."

We were back at the workshop, and together we climbed the stairs. The furniture I'd bought had been stored downstairs overnight – we were waiting for the bed and other items to arrive before bringing them up. Abe had been spot on about the cleaning crew. The place was spotless. I was looking around in pleasure when I noticed there were no blinds or drapes.

"Comrade? I think we might need to order some blinds," I laughed. Our bedroom windows faced out towards the Guardian building, and while it was a good distance away, I didn't fancy being the unwitting subject of a peep show.

"That would put a dampener on things," Dimitri admitted, pulling out a pen and pencil from his pocket and tossing it onto the pristine kitchen bench. 'Workshop: Blinds' he wrote in his neat, clear script. "There's bound to be a lot of things we need. Add them here – we'll do a shop tomorrow and get groceries plus anything urgent we've forgotten."

A few minutes later the truck arrived, and Dimitri bound down the steps two at a time to help with the unloading, a lot of the furniture going to the Guardian's quarters. While that space was livable, I knew Dimitri had upgrades scheduled there, too. The plan was the Guardians were going to live in it and renovate the unoccupied rooms before moving into the renovated spaces and starting on those they'd vacated.

"Bored men get up to mischief, milaya," my Russian God had explained last night. "Pavel gave me lots of ideas from the other houses Abe maintains, but we're lucky there's enough space and projects here I can keep them occupied for years."

Soon I could hear deliverymen and Guardians climbing the stairs to our little love nest. I stood in the kitchen, directing where I wanted each item put.

"That is the biggest bed I've ever seen," Dimitri said in awe as the mattress was placed on the base in our bedroom.

"I bought the biggest one I could find. I intend to spend quite a bit of time there," I whispered so no one else would hear me, giving him a sexy look.

His grin of response said it all, and he gave me a lingering kiss before going downstairs to help move our fridge up. The final delivery was the sofa and ottoman and after checking everything had been delivered Dimitri signed the receipt docket and was about to flop onto our new sofa.

"Not so fast," I interjected. "There's a table and chairs, bureau and a rocking chair to come upstairs, yet."

Rolling his eyes at me Dimitri climbed down the stairs once again, recruiting a couple of the Guardians to help bring up the last of the furniture. I had them set the pieces down where I wanted them, congratulating myself on how good it all looked together.

"Now can a tired man rest?" he asked me jovially, waiting for my loving nod before he dropped down onto the sofa, stretching his long legs out in front of him. "I love what you've chosen for our home, milaya," he said affectionately, lifting his arm up for me to join him.

"I'd get you a drink, but there's no cups or glasses here yet," I explained.

"I thought we'd do a run to that little town ten minutes away and we could pick up some drinks and food for everyone. Was there anything much there?"

"I only actually looked at the second-hand store," I admitted, "but I think there was a general store there. I'm sure they'll have drinks." We cuddled for a few minutes before coming downstairs and walking across to the Guardian quarters. Pavel was there with Abe, looking at what had been delivered.

"Sofas and dryer for here are arriving tomorrow, along with the cooker for the workshop flat, but that's it for the big stuff," Dimitri reported. "I was thinking of heading into the township and picking up some drinks and food for us all?"

"No need," Pavel said. "Alyce is doing another late one at the unit and rang to say an enormous delivery of home stuff Rose ordered online has arrived. She knew you'd be keen to get it, so I said someone would be there to pick it up soon. She thought everyone would be tired and hungry, so she's made a meal for you all. Abe and I will head back now - why don't you and one of the men follow us back in the other van and you can bring back the deliveries and the food?"

"That sounds good," Dimitri agreed. "It's getting late. Why don't you have a rest upstairs, Roza?"

"Ok," I lied, giving my sexy man a kiss before going back to the unit, determined to have most of it unpacked by the time he brought back even more boxes. It took no time at all to get everything done. I had our toiletries arranged in the small medicine cabinet, our clothes hung, his CD player set up and even his Westerns neatly arranged on the shelving at the bottom of the bureau. I'd been unpacking our bathroom stuff when I realized something we'd need.

 _Comrade. Can you please bring some toilet paper from Abe's unit_ I'd texted. With the number of times I went to the toilet thanks to this pregnancy, it was a necessity.

 _Will do. Leaving Court now. I love you_ he'd texted back.

Twenty minutes later, my weary man arrived back. The back of the van was filled with boxes and parcels, and most of it was for our unit. Dimitri and five of his Guardians took everything upstairs. It was true many hands made light work, as they only needed to make a couple of trips each. Kirk and I set the drinks and food Alyce had sent on to the table in the Guardian quarters. I had to hand it to Alyce; she was a genius! She'd sent individual cold sodas and water bottles plus an ample supply of homemade burgers. Each contained in its own paper wrapper; she'd sent beef and chicken varieties and even a couple of veggie burgers. They needed no prep, no cleanup and with lettuce, tomato, grated carrot, cucumber, beetroot and cheese on each, along with a lean pattie, they were surprisingly filling and healthy.

Dimitri and the other Guardians came back to the Guardian quarters sitting down at the table and eating their burgers in silence. Being midday, it was late Moroi time, and while Guardians were accustomed to pulling long shifts, moving was always tiring. Checking I'd finished eating, Dimitri and I stood, and he pulled a final couple of things from a bag he'd brought in. Two cold six-packs of beer. He placed them in the center of the table.

"Thanks for today. Thought you guys might appreciate a beer," he said to the six men who were his new team. "We're transitioning to daylight hours, so you're off duty until 6 am tomorrow. I'm around, so call me or come to the workshop if you need me."

I smiled and nodded at Dimitri's team shyly before walking with my man back to our little home. There were numerous boxes and bags filled with things, but I found the bed linens and towels fast enough. Together we made the bed, and Dimitri tacked the blanket I'd borrowed from Murray up over the window so we'd have privacy in our bedroom. Dimitri walked into the tiny bathroom, pleased to notice his wetpack unpacked and ready to go. Switching on the taps, and shedding our clothes side by side, I heard my man groan "Oh, milaya!" before he pulled me into the stall with him, and we held each other and kissed as we stood under the refreshing spray.

* * *

Coming to Canada had been an inspired idea. As I'd suspected, the Lazar's ski lodge was vacant now the snow had thawed. Warded, and staffed with Guardians when the family was in residence, the building needed no security system. I'd looked around outside for a spare key, appalled to find one under a rock near the downstairs basement entrance. It almost seemed too easy, but trying it in the lock it turned and a stealthy walk through the house revealed it to be completely unoccupied.

Tomas Lazar, the older brother of a school friend of mine, was too trusting. He'd readily accepted my overtures at the Academy – and his invitation to stay over New Years at his chalet had helped separate Lissa from that little bitch friend of hers, not that I'd realized the need for that at the time. I'd been glad to see Christian make friends with Brandon. It was time he started to appreciate that despite what had happened in our family, he _was_ Royal. Lissa's charm and position as the last Dragomir was already working wonders for him socially, but I was relieved to see him finally making an effort to fit in.

I wandered through the house a second time, pleased to find the kitchen well stocked with tinned food, and an abundant supply of frozen blood bags. I smiled knowing the bar in the library was similarly well supplied. Deciding that seeing my love for the second time in as many days deserved a celebration, I selected a good Russian vodka. Remembering to thaw some blood from their supply for when I woke, I downed the last blood bag from my cooler, acknowledging it wasn't the freshest. I followed it with the bottle of vodka to wash away the aftertaste. Idly watching Springer re-runs on television, I fell into an uneasy sleep; dreaming the bitch was one of those on the show, exposed and ridiculed for her pathetic attempts to steal my man.

* * *

"She can't have disappeared," I roared in frustration at my oldest employee and most trusted friend. "She tried to kill my daughter and the father of my grandchild! I want her _found_!"

"We tracked her as far as a motel in Missoula and found tracks beside an exterior wall of the Academy. The tire tracks matched the service records from her vehicle, so there's no doubt it's her," Pavel started.

"I _know_ it's her!" I roared again, knowing it wasn't Pavel's fault but needing to blow off steam about the lack of progress locating Tasha Ozera.

"We have her bank accounts under surveillance. Her phone and known e-mail addresses, too. Her passport is being watched, as is her number plate. We're checking every phone number she's dialed in the last six months, including the service she orders her blood through. We've posed as Court Guardians and contacted her nephew, Christian. He's vowed to let us know if she makes contact, but in case he doesn't, his phone, e-mail, and letters are being monitored. She's resigned from her job, her Minneapolis home is vacant but being watched, including whether she dials in to get any phone messages from her answering machine. As requested, we're also monitoring Rose and Dimitri's phones, e-mails and letters as well as those of Vasilisa Dragomir."

"Let me know if there's anything significant in any of those, even if it's unrelated to the Ozera woman," I said closing my eyes and trying to think where she could have gone to ground. As far as we could tell, other than her nephew she had no family, no real friends, and no contacts. And that made her a loose cannon in my eyes. Someone with no ties was someone with nothing to lose. Having lived that way most of my life, I knew that was the worst sort of enemy. But now I had Rose, even if she didn't yet know it, I was starting to appreciate how it felt to worry about someone you loved.

"How much should we tell Belikov? Can he be trusted not to tell Rose?" Pavel asked.

"No, so tell him as little as possible. What's the initial feedback from the men?"

"Positive so far," Pavel acknowledged. "They said he's pitching in, taking the time to get to know each of them. We'll know more once he settles, but so far so good."

"And he's treating her well?"

"By all accounts," Pavel assured me. "They're all still finding their feet, but she seems happy there."

* * *

My phone was buzzing on the floor beside the bed. Rolling to grab it I quickly answered.

"Belikov," I said quietly, looking at the woman lying beside me on our massive bed.

"Dimka! It's so good to hear your voice!"

"Mama," I said happily, rolling out of bed and quietly padding out to the little lounge area so I wouldn't wake my sleeping beauty. I flopped onto the sofa naked.

"Is this a good time? Are you in your new place yet?"

"Yeah, it's ok. Rose is asleep, and we moved in today."

"Asleep? But it's 3 am there?"

"We're transitioning to a human timetable. The contractors working on the house are human, so they'll be here in a few hours."

"Oh I'm sorry – I'll let you go back to bed then."

"It's alright, Mama. I was already awake."

"You were? Is everything alright?"

"I was, I promise. There's just a lot to think about. There's much to achieve in the new role, and I want to do a good job of it. Also, there's been problems with Tasha Ozera…" I told her about how Rose and I had to leave campus in a hurry and how Tasha had set fire to our rooms. "I'm worried, Mama. I have to try and keep Roza hidden away here and happy, but it's only a matter of time before she gets bored and lonely. And I love her so much Mama; I want her to be happy all the time."

"Don't set yourself an impossible task, Dimka. There will always be ups as well as downs. Be honest with her, help her work towards her goals, be there for her and listen. Give her the space to work out what she wants."

"You're right Mama. Thank you."

We chatted a little longer, and I promised as soon as Rose was awake for the day we'd Skype. Mama seemed particularly keen to talk to her. Which reminded me – I'd better ask her how she felt about Mama visiting while we were at St. Vlad's waiting for the baby to arrive. I tiptoed back to bed to find sleeping beauty had awoken and was looking at me in amusement.

"Your Mama?"

"Yes. I promised we'd Skype later."

"Ok," she said pulling her warm naked body against mine. "Dimitri?"

"Yes, milaya?"

"I need you to make love to me," she whispered in my ear.


	53. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 30

"Again?!" I gasped, putting up no resistance as Dimitri started to kiss and nip at my neck as a prelude to other activities.

"Something about you in our bed in our place is a huge turn on," he moaned in apologetic explanation. "I can't get enough of you," he said, pushing his arousal into my hip as proof.

Not that I was complaining. Dimitri had been like this for the last fortnight as we'd broken in every possible part of the unit, and I _loved_ it. We were doing our best to limit the PDA in front of the Guardians, but as soon as we knew we had our privacy, we were at it like rabbits.

After the first few days at the property, we'd all settled into a routine, and I was stunned by the amount Dimitri and his team had already achieved. The gym equipment my Russian God ordered had arrived, so every morning Dimitri and I would workout with three of the Guardians. Although most of my workout was simple weights training or stretching, Dimitri and I did do some gentle sparring together which was nice. After breakfast, Dimitri and the team would work on the property while I studied. If the weather were fine, they'd garden – clearing undergrowth and years of rubbish for the many projects Dimitri had them working on. I'd sit outside nearby in a comfy outdoor chair reading or using the laptop to make sure I kept up to date with everything I'd need to know for my exams.

After lunch, Dimitri would split the Guardians into pairs and assign them different tasks. Some of the team had not worked together before, so it gave them a chance to get to know their peers. Every afternoon Dimitri would work with a different Guardian on the cottage – and already the progress was astonishing.

They'd started by ripping out the electrics and most of the plumbing. It was so old Dimitri maintained it would be more efficient and safer to replace it than patching and extending where necessary. Then they'd stripped out all the boards on the porch as many were rotten and not sound. Gutting the inside of the cottage, they'd taken down walls, built new ones where required and put in massive beams to support a proper attic floor and to allow the open plan kitchen/living/meals space. The old kitchen and bathroom were ripped out, and one side of the structure extended, leaving my little cottage looking decidedly worse for wear. It was actually quite depressing, but Dimitri kept assuring me he had seventeen weeks to get it ready and ready it would be.

Coming back to the here and now, specifically Dimitri's lips at my neck, I knew the pleasure my man was proposing would have to be a 'quickie.' We were due to leave for the Court airstrip in an hour for our first trip back to St. Vladimir's since we'd left. After the whole fire thing, no one was prepared to take any chances, so I was going to be traveling with Dimitri, Kirk, Fernandes and two of Abe's guardians I hadn't yet met. We'd be staying together in a three-bedroom unit in Guest quarters, and I was to be accompanied by at least two Guardians at all times. We'd be staying two nights, and I'd be sitting four exams. I'd be switching back to Moroi time, which was going to be a bitch; especially since I couldn't take a sedative to help me adjust. But I was very excited about seeing my friends.

No one bar Alberta knew we were coming. There were a number of exams over the next six weeks, but it had been negotiated that I would do some on campus, and others would be done via Skype. I'd already done two Skype exams, and basically, they'd email me the exam I'd print it out, and I'd sit there on Skype while someone at St. Vlad's got to sit and watch me do it so there could be no claim I'd cheated. So far I'd had Alberta and Celeste.

Alberta muted the sound from her end, but I could see her doing paperwork and having meetings, occasionally looking over to her computer where I was. Celeste had spent the time in her room painting her toenails, shaving her legs using a razor, shaving foam and a cup of water, clipping and buffing her fingernails, folding and putting away her washing as well as putting in a deep conditioning masque in her hair and leaving it for the full three hours. I'd finished the exam in two hours, but because of the time difference I had to keep Skyping for the extra hour until the St. Vlad's students had gone in to sit the exam. Celeste and I had used the time to chat, her bringing me up to date on the Academy goss.

I was confident for my exams, and with Dimitri and the other Guardians checking my assignments before I submitted them, I knew I would do well on them, too. More than anything, I wanted to see my friends and be one of the Novices again. Even if I was going to be the big fat one who had to go to the toilet twice during each exam flanked by two Guardians.

Closing my eyes and grabbing Dimitri's hair, I roughly pulled his lips to mine. I didn't care if it was the pregnancy hormones or just how things were between us, but I was into sex every bit as much as he was, and I wasn't going to waste the opportunity to show my man how much I loved and wanted him. His sexy growl as I tugged at his hair was arousing. Always so in control, I loved the noises of pleasure he couldn't hold back when we were intimate. The way he let himself go, showing me the part of him that wasn't able to be controlled. That didn't _want_ to be.

I pushed him onto his back, deciding today I wanted to take the lead. Slapping his large hands away as he tried to fondle my breasts, I leaned forward and clasped his wrists, holding them above his head. Of course, this brought my breasts within range of his mouth, so he leaned up and nuzzled my swollen twin globes, marveling at their size as my body prepared to nourish the baby that would be arriving in a few months time.

Ordering him to keep his hands above his head, I straddled my naked man, sitting on his mid thighs and visually surveying his long, lean, ripped body. He was a magnificent specimen, and he was all _mine._ I could sit and admire his body all day, but his little grumbles of discontent reminded me there was a rather sizeable problem. My poor man needed some loving.

Crawling up his body, my baby bump just skimming along the toned muscles of his abs. I gave my Russian God a kiss, settling my heated core right above his turgid manhood.

"Roza!" he groaned beseechingly. I knew he was seconds away from grabbing me and taking control if I didn't assuage his need. So reaching between us I brought us into alignment before sinking onto him, letting his thick, hard manhood penetrate my slick folds. His eyes rolled a little, and he groaned loudly as I took him all, despite his impressive length.

"I want to touch you," he grumbled mulishly, his hands opening and closing uselessly where they rested impatiently above his head. I gave him a small nod, and he brought his hands to my waist, helping to guide my movements as I rocked my hips against his. Knowing we didn't have much time, I set a brisk pace that would deliver us release sooner rather than later.

Seeing I was favoring the instant gratification route, Dimitri stuck his thumb into his mouth, wetting it before guiding it to the swollen pearl between my legs. His hands had always been calloused, but a fortnight of hard manual labor had made them even rougher; another reminder my Russian God was all man and so fucking sexy!

Rubbing me, I could feel the tingling across the top of my breasts, and the tensing of my lower back that signaled my orgasm was close. My moans were becoming more urgent, and I was struggling to keep up the regimented pace as I pushed down again and again on my lover's cock. Using one hand on my hip to steady me, Dimitri waited until I was on the precipice of relief before he reached up to tweak my nipples between his fingers, causing me to plummet into an abyss of satisfaction, screaming inarticulately as pleasure overcame me.

"Fuck! Roza!" he roared, my orgasm provoking his own. A hand firmly on each hip again, he held me in place as he bucked up from underneath, spurting his seed within me.

We were lying together loved up and feeling cuddly afterward when, as usual, Junior decided to note his or her approval. At first, Dimitri had been embarrassed that the baby responded to our frequent lovemaking, but he'd calmed down about it now; sometimes cheekily asking me in public whether I'd felt the baby move recently as a covert way of suggesting we slip away for a little one-on-one action.

Junior was especially active, so I grasped Dimitri's large hand, placing it where I could feel the most movements. Dimitri was softly stroking my bump when we both felt a big, unmistakable kick right beneath his hand! An elated grin on his face, Dimitri had the bed covers off me in an instant, resting his cheek against my stomach and crooning in Russian. Dimitri's 'bump worship' was no new occurrence; almost every night when we watched TV, he'd rest his head on my lap so he could whisper loving words to our baby. But as the first time he'd felt movement – well – this was something different.

After fifteen minutes of his gentle kisses and reverent words, I was finally able to drag my Russian God's attention away from my belly and remind him he needed to pack for St. Vladimir's.

"I packed already," Dimitri gloated as I got up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, I didn't" I grumbled, giving Dimitri a huge smile when he took the hint, getting out my duffel bag, and under my direction loading it with clothes, underwear, my laptop and everything else I'd need for a couple of days away.

Walking over to the chest of drawers we'd bought on our first joint visit to Murray at the second-hand store, I opened the top drawer and pulled out my charm bracelet. Everything had been so mad on the night Dimitri had given it to me, I hadn't had a chance to have a good look at it – but when I did, I'd been moved by what he'd given me. A plain silver bracelet, he'd added charms for each significant event we'd shared. A hazelnut charm symbolizing our first meeting in Portland, followed by one of a woman in a fighting stance. Then a sun symbolizing the Equinox dance, a love heart for when we realized we cared for one another, a double love heart for when we became one, a miniature matryoshka doll for his time in Russia, a letter for him getting my e-mails and finally an '18' charm for my birthday. There was now another charm he'd surprised me with after he'd visited Court the other day; a little key to represent our first home together.

I dressed in a pair of jeans and a V-neck tight long top, taking the focus away from my belly by adding a long, loose cardigan. While the V-neck did show my cleavage to advantage, it was still pretty tame on the Rose Hathaway dress scale. But I was twenty weeks pregnant – I'm pretty sure the only man to find me sexy these days was Dimitri!

Adjusting my pendant, so it sat nicely above my breasts, I put on a little makeup and came out to where Dimitri was reclining on the sofa. He quickly put away his phone with a slightly guilty expression.

"Who were you texting?" I asked him indulgently.

"Mama," he confessed with a blissful look. "I wanted to tell her the baby kicked!"

"The baby's been kicking for a while now," I muttered under my breath, feeling a little put out that all Dimitri's attentions were on Junior and not on me.

"She's going to have a mean roundhouse kick, just like her Mama," he said, pulling me down onto his lap and kissing me soundly, wisely recognizing that if he touched my stomach at that moment, he might end up the _victim_ of my roundhouse kick! I'd given up correcting Dimitri's assertions that the baby was a girl, so I smiled and enjoyed his kisses before standing up and reminding him it was time to go.

I was a little nervous to be going back to St. Vladimir's. I knew from Celeste that the students knew about the fire in my room and that there'd been a fire in the Guardian wing too, but not which room. The rumors about my whereabouts were rife – and it didn't help that when anyone asked Lissa, she denied all knowledge and Christian got quite defensive about the whole thing. While the Guardians had been discreet, the Novices had witnessed Tasha try and attack me with Celeste that time, and Brandon knew Tasha considered Dimitri to be her boyfriend, so there was at least some level of speculation about who was behind the fires and why.

I spent the plane trip revising for my first exam, Kirk quizzing me from my text as Dimitri sat beside me working on Guardian rosters for the week. While they left the day to day running of the property to Dimitri, Abe and Pavel visited the main house most days. They were staying in the Court accommodation arriving at 9 am for an hour or two to consult with the interior designer and contractors. Abe had also become my personal _Moroi Culture Four_ tutor, spending two mornings a week with me putting all the tedious Moroi political machinations into context and explaining all the Moroi customs and the reasons behind them.

"I grew up never knowing these things, so I had to learn them too," he'd said enigmatically one day while explaining the complicated hierarchical royal Moroi seating allocations at formal dinners and other social events and then listening to me recite the associated guarding priorities.

While Abe was helping me study a few days ago, Pavel had taken Dimitri aside for a mini-feedback session, complimenting him on the way he was handling the crew as well as the work on the property. Dimitri had been able to show him detailed training plans for each of his six Guardians, focusing on skills and weaknesses he'd observed in each and identifying training opportunities to address both. To say Pavel was astounded was an understatement.

"I've never seen anything like it," I'd overheard an awed Pavel tell Abe later. "The guy has a half-inch thick file on each of them. He identified Fernandes would be more likely to hit a target by throwing his gun at it than shooting, so he's got the guy out there every afternoon doing target practice with tins. Fernandes has been with us four years – why's no one else worked that out and helped him before now?"

I sat on the plane smiling at my diligent boyfriend as we came close to landing. I'd been worried, at first, he'd wear himself out in his new role. But he was truly in his element. In fact, I don't think I'd ever seen him so happy and relaxed. He managed to walk that fine line between friend and leader where people followed him by choice not because they were obliged to, and he was relishing the opportunity to do some practical manual work.

We landed, and I was surprised to see Alberta waiting with the van at the airstrip. We hugged for ages, and I wasn't too proud to admit I might have cried a little; and I think Alberta might have, too. Dimitri busied himself with the luggage and directing the Guardians, giving me time to reconnect with the woman who was the closest thing I had to a Mom. In the van, we drove the back way to the guest quarters, Alberta briefing Dimitri and the other Guardians on the security plans. Dimitri and the Guardians brought our bags up to guest accommodations, and then it was time to head to my exam.

"You're in uniform?" I noticed as Dimitri stepped out of our bedroom looking delicious. The man always looked sexy, but something about his uniform did things to me, especially now it was looking a little tighter thanks to the muscle mass from all his manual labor. He hadn't worn it since we'd moved to the property. None of the Guardians wore it there. I wasn't sure whether to suggest Dimitri stand behind me in the examination hall so I wouldn't be distracted, or to get him to stand in front so I'd be inspired!

The entire senior grade, Moroi and Dhampir, were already seated when I entered. Walking past Ashford, Castile and Dragomir I settled at the table marked Hathaway. Dimitri, Kirk and one of Abe's Guardians followed me, positioning themselves against the closest walls. Dimitri pulled my chair out for me and gave me a loving look, bending to whisper in my ear just to lift a hand if I needed a toilet break. While his lips were hidden in my hair, he also whispered his love and kissed me.

* * *

"A bit of warning would have been nice," Lissa grumbled to Rose as we sat together at lunch. "I nearly fell off my chair when you walked in!"

"I'm sorry. After last time we thought it might be better if no one knew we were coming," Rose replied.

"Yeah. Keep the news away from my crazy aunt," I said bitterly.

"She didn't say that," Lissa admonished.

"No. But she's thinking it. Everyone is."

I looked across the cafeteria to where Brandon sat with some of the other royal Moroi. We were still friendly, but we hadn't hung out since he'd let slip to Jesse that Tasha had a thing for Dimitri. After that, everyone was able to join the dots. While no one blamed me, I hated the way conversation stopped whenever I walked past. It reminded me _why_ I'd avoided hanging out with Royal Moroi for so long.

"Actually, right now I'm wondering if Dimitri is going to lecture me if I have a doughnut, and whether I could convince him it's a genuine pregnancy craving," Rose joked trying to change the subject, catching the huge Russian's eye.

Dimitri rolled his eyes and unfolded himself from the bench seat, walking across to the lunch line. Back at the table, he placed a fruit salad in front of Rose as well as a choc-iced doughnut.

"How can you live with her?" Mason joked, oblivious to the tense undercurrent of Lissa, Rose, Dimitri and I sitting at the table together.

"It's all about compromise," Dimitri laughed, gesturing to the fruit salad and the doughnut.

It would have been easier if they were all over one another. The tender little looks and loving gestures screamed to anyone watching that they were in love. That despite everything, they were blissfully happy. Lissa grabbed my hand under the table. Things were still strained between her and Rose, but I knew she missed her and was trying to make things right. Which is why I was sitting here watching the man my aunt was obsessed with looking at Rose with adoration.

"So how long are you here for?" Lissa asked Rose.

"I'd better not say."

"Um sure. Can you tell us how things are going where you are?" she tried instead.

"A little," Rose replied, nodding at a warning look from Dimitri.

"I'm not going to tell her, you know," I hissed, standing up. "She hasn't been in touch, and I've even left messages trying to get her to call so I can tell everyone where she is. I don't agree with what she's done!"

"I didn't say you did," I heard Rose say quietly as I dumped my food in a bin and threw my tray back on top of the pile before I stalked off to the feeders.

* * *

I was relieved to be back in Pennsylvania in our own place. After Christian's outburst on our first day there, things had been decidedly strained. We'd hung out with Eddie and Mason as Lissa spent most of the time trying to tell Christian no one blamed him for what Tasha had done. While that was true, I _did_ still blame him for telling her about my pregnancy, which had made things so horrible for me. But as Dimitri kept reminding me – what did it matter now? I was still going to graduate, and we were together.

We settled straight back into our routine, with one notable exception. I, Rose Hathaway, decided to learn how to cook. It was time. I was going to be a mother soon – I needed to be able to make some basics.

With six Guardians, plus himself, Dimitri had set the obvious cooking roster of one night each per week. The food was pretty good, each of the Guardians having a few decent dishes they could cook, although it had to be said Fernandes' Portuguese inspired Goan food, and Dimitri's Russian meals were the most popular.

I'd spent three days planning my first meal and had rung Alyce for advice. She'd ended up coming out to the property to supervise my first attempt at Sunday lunch – crockpot lasagne with a green bean salad and garlic bread. Dimitri had taken off early to go to the human town to get some supplies he needed for the cottage, assuring me he'd be back in time to cook the usual Sunday barbecue lunch for us all. But I'd made other plans!

Arriving not long after Dimitri had left, Alyce brought a second slow-cooker up to the unit and sat chatting with me as I made an authentic tomato-based sauce on the stove top, splitting it into two portions. I fried up some beef mince and onion and added half the tomato sauce and herbs. It smelled delicious. Setting it aside, I did the same thing with chicken mince and the remaining tomato sauce. The béchamel sauce was harder, especially since I was quadrupling the recipe, but with lots of stirring, I got that right, too.

Under Alyce's watchful eye I loaded each crockpot, layering meat sauce, béchamel, and dried lasagna sheets, topping each stack with cheese until I had two slow cooker meals ready to go – chicken and beef lasagna. I was cleaning the surfaces ready to prep the salad when Alyce pointed out the lasagna would never cook if I didn't turn the appliances on. Rookie mistake!

Once that was sorted, I made a huge salad. I'd spotted the recipe in one of the beginner's cookbooks Alyce had insisted I order. It looked simple enough, and it was. Sure I wasn't going to win any housekeeper of the year awards, but it looked like I might just pull this off! I rang Dimitri and asked him if he could stop at the bakery on the way back through and pick up three French sticks. Guardians ate a lot, so I figured I'd make a mountain of garlic bread to supplement the lasagna. I chopped the garlic and mixed it with butter ready to spread onto the bread when Dimitri brought it home. With everything bubbling away, the salad ready and back in the fridge and the kitchen spotless, Alyce wished me luck and departed, so I sat down to wait for my Russian God.

"Something smells awesome!" he said in surprise when he opened the unit door. "What is it?"

"Oh does it?" I said with feigned nonchalance. "I thought since you were busy this morning I'd make lunch today. I've done a beef, and a chicken lasagna with a green bean salad and I'm going to make garlic bread with these," I finished, grabbing the French sticks and giving my astonished man a gentle kiss.

"You cooked all this?"

"I did," I said giving him a proud little smile. "I thought I should learn to make a few meals."

I stood at the counter, slicing the French sticks into individual rounds, coating one side of each with the garlic butter and placing them on a lined baking tray.

"Comrade? Can you put these in the oven for me?" I asked while loading the second tray.

Carefully setting the oven timer, I reached across to the notepad and pencil on the fridge door and added 'platters' to the list of things we needed. It wasn't until lunch was only a few minutes away that I appreciated it was going to be problematic to transport all this to the Guardian quarters. Our table in the unit could extend to seat six, but there were eight of us. And I only had plates, chairs and utensils for six.

Dimitri solved the problem, ringing the Guardian quarters to tell them lunch would be served in our unit today, and they needed to bring two more chairs, plates, glasses, etc. with them. A knock at the door a few minutes later announced our lunch guests' arrival. The guys came in, looking admiringly at our little domain. They'd seen it when we'd moved in, but not since it was all set up. Dimitri was pretending it was no big deal, but I could tell he was proud for us to be 'entertaining' for the first time.

Everyone was quickly seated, Dimitri dishing a serving of beef lasagna onto each plate and handing them out, the Guardians helping themselves to salad and garlic bread. Grabbing my camera, I took a few photos of our guests, getting Kirk to take a few of Dimitri and I, too. As we prepared to eat, I made sure to take a few photos of the food with my phone as well.

"You're not one of those people who takes pictures of everything you eat are you?" Kirk asked in amusement.

I just laughed shaking my head.

"Rose cooked this from scratch today," Dimitri announced proudly. "It's the first time she's cooked for so many."

"Unless you count a microwave dinner, it's the first time I've cooked _anything_ , Comrade! Alyce came over to make sure I did it right, but she didn't _make_ any of it."

"Well I know we're all going to enjoy it very much, _aren't we?_ " Dimitri asked the Guardians, looking around at the assembled company lifting an eyebrow meaningfully. Thankfully the meal was pretty good, so no false praise was required. After we'd finished the beef, everyone had seconds, finishing the chicken lasagna too. We'd sat around for ages joking and laughing afterward. I enjoyed it so much I thought I might give cooking Sunday lunch a go next weekend, too. Dimitri insisted I rest on the sofa as the Guardians did the washing up, so I texted Eddie, Mason, and Lissa the picture of my loaded plate.

 _Lunch. Lasagna, bean salad and garlic bread for eight. Believe it or not, it was all made by me!_


	54. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 31

Dimitri had brought my rocking chair outside, and I was sitting in the shade watching him, and the guys put the new roof on our cottage. The upper interior walls were in, the dormers built, new windows installed, they'd insulated every possible spot, and now the roof was being shingled. It was Sunday – the day Dimitri usually left unscheduled for R and R time, but when he'd mentioned he was hoping for a fine day so he could finally get the cottage water-tight, the guys had volunteered to help out. In fact, everyone helped in their own way.

Abe had insisted on upgrading materials from the flat to the longer lasting architectural shingles. He'd also insisted on sending Alyce over for the morning to help me prepare a lunch and a dinner to satisfy the hardworking, hungry men. She'd helped me make large platters of subway sandwiches and homemade lemonade for the midday meal and for dinner, I'd prepared a roast pork and a roast beef with baked veg. Alyce promised with a roast it was all in the groundwork – the cooking being pretty much set and forget. So now in the late afternoon, I was watching while my strong man and the crew finished off the job. The last one down the ladder, Dimitri came to stand next to me, wrapping his hot, sweaty arms around me from behind as we admired his handiwork.

"It's not ready, but it's warm and water-tight," he lovingly whispered in my ear as together we gazed at the cottage my man had rebuilt. I was twenty-six weeks pregnant and honestly had never been happier. We'd visited the Academy twice since the fires – each time relieved when our visit occurred without major incident. Tasha had not been seen or heard from, and while things were strained with Lissa and Christian, we were all trying.

And now my home was close to finished. Sure we were missing a couple of bathrooms and a kitchen, the floors had to be sanded and polished, and the entire place plastered and painted. But the skeleton was in, and I could see the start of the beautiful home it would be.

"We're done! Get cleaned up. Dinner in the dorm in forty minutes," Dimitri announced to the Guardians before turning back to me. "If you can manage the ladder, I could take you up and show you our room? And the nursery?" Dimitri tempted.

I hadn't been allowed to see the upper floor, and I was beyond keen to get a sense of the space. I nearly pulled his arm off dragging him across the new porch boards and through the makeshift front door. The downstairs I was pretty familiar with, having recently spent hours there with the interior designer getting suggestions for finishes for the floor, my new kitchen, and half bathroom. But upstairs? Well other than the sketches Dimitri had shown me, that was a mystery.

I climbed the ladder, emerging into a surprisingly large and bright landing illuminated by a large dormer window above the stairs. To the left was our room, straight ahead the bathroom, and to the right two smaller bedrooms.

"What do you want to see first, milaya? Our room or Junior's?"

"Ours," I whispered breathlessly, awed at what my man had achieved – and the love he must feel to have built all this for our little family. Stepping into our bedroom, I was surprised by its size. Even once you factored in the roof pitch and the unusable space near the eaves, the room was _huge_.

"I'm thinking a combination of open shelving, built in drawers and half height cupboards to make the most of the space on each side," he explained. The room took up the entire depth of the house, so standing at the double entry doors the wall straight ahead was the roof's gable so very tall in the center, while the ceiling inclined down to the right and the left becoming unusable towards the very edges.

"That would give us masses of storage," I acknowledged, honestly a little overwhelmed by everything.

"If we centered our bed here," Dimitri said gesturing to the obvious spot on the wall opposite the entry, "there'd be room on one side for a relaxing reading area and on the other side perhaps your bureau and a workspace for me too? I'm still in two minds about adding a window in the gable for even more light – but we can live in it for a while, and if you feel the four dormers don't let enough in, I can add a fifth window or some skylights." To anyone else, it would sound like my confident man discussing lighting. But I knew my Russian God was really looking for my approval.

"It looks perfect the way it is," I assured him lovingly, "but like you said – it can be added later if we change our minds."

After that, I loyally admired the space where large built in his and her closets would be built on either side of the entry door, assuring Dimitri it was more than sufficient, and a walk-in robe was _not_ required.

Walking back out to the landing, I looked at what would be the family bathroom, linen cupboard, and laundry chute before entering one of the two additional bedrooms on this level. Each half the size of the master, the rooms were still spacious, the usable space at least double the size of my St. Vladimir's dorm room. One faced the front of the cottage, the other the back; but other than aspect, they were identical mirror images of one another. On each, the door was closest to the separating wall running along the roof's ridgeline. Beside each door would be a built-in closet running across to the lowest part of the ceiling, and each room had two dormers. The rooms were basically identical to the master, but with a wall down the middle separating them into two spaces.

"I'll do more shelves, drawers, and cupboards in these rooms, too," Dimitri promised, cuddling me from behind as I looked at first one room, then the other. "I've chalked on the floor in this one the outline of a queen sized bed so that you can get an idea of proportions. They're both a good size…"

"Dimitri?" I said, spinning in his arms to look at him. "I _love_ them. I love the whole space! But more than anything, I love _you_. I can't believe you imagined then built all this for us."

"You wait until you see it finished, Roza. This is going to be the most beautiful little cottage you've ever seen!"

And I did not doubt it – because that's the sort of man Dimitri was.

"Come on my hero. Let's get you into the shower. I want to get you all nice and clean and then feed you and then take you to bed so I can show you just how much I love my cottage!"

My first roasts were a big hit. The gravy was a bit too thin, but the appearance of a chilled case of beer at the same time silenced any adverse comments. Everyone was relaxed and happy. I sat cuddled under the loving arm of my boyfriend, joining in the chatter, deliriously in love.

I knew in a day or two we'd be heading back to St. Vladimir's for the final few days of exams and my graduation, and that I'd be saying goodbye to some people possibly forever. But I was finally ready. Dimitri was my home now – wherever he was is where I needed to be.

* * *

She'd either be there, or she wouldn't. And if she were, then he'd no doubt be close by. I'd had six weeks to think about it, and I was determined. I _had_ to tell Dimitri how I felt. He obviously had no idea I loved him. He'd not had a chance to see me. _Speak_ to me. I was willing to bet the bitch had taken his phone and that's why he never responded to my messages. My darling needed to know I cared and that I was willing to make all his dreams come true.

Graduation was the last Saturday in May, and campus would be busy. Moroi and Dhampir families alike would be there to see their children graduate, so the place would be packed. I hadn't switched on my phone, used my cards or done anything else to enable anyone to track me, assuming anyone was even trying to. But there'd be enough people on campus who knew what I looked like.

Going to Tomas and Edwina's bedroom, I rummaged through her closet trying to put together an outfit. Edwina had beautiful taste, but I couldn't afford to wear one of her exclusive designer outfits and run the risk of her recognizing the clothing, so I dug through her wardrobe looking for items with more common tags. I finally found an unworn camel colored shift dress by a prolific maker in the back of the closet. It was simple enough I wouldn't raise any questions wearing it.

I'd have to disguise my dark hair if I wanted to get around campus, so a wig would be in order. A lot of Moroi would attend the religious service in the Russian Orthodox chapel on campus before the graduation ceremony, so I wouldn't be out of place wearing a glamorous headscarf; many of the more traditional Moroi adhering to the custom of women covering their head for Church. Combined with heavy makeup, it would be enough to conceal my scar.

Edwina wore larger shoes than I, but her pantyhose would fit, so I took a packet of those from her lingerie drawer. I didn't dare risk one of her scarves – they were quite distinctive – so I'd pick up a wig, scarf, and shoes along the way. After I'd finished in her closet, I started to go through their bedside drawers looking for money or anything else that might be helpful. It was incredible what you could discover about a person from their bedside table, I mused.

Tomas had numerous betting slips, casino chips and loose notes in various denominations in his. Not a fortune, but I pocketed around $1,200 in US dollars and a couple of hundred in Canadian notes. Enough to get me what I needed and to where I was going without using any of my cards I thought with satisfaction. Edwina's bedside was equally revealing in a different way. The top drawer contained four vibrators, several butt-plugs, a set of nipple clamps and lube. The next drawer down contained porn of a very particular type. Flipping through the well-thumbed magazines and some unusually intimate photographs, I could see that Tomas wasn't enough for Edwina. Well – at least not _individually_. Edwina's appetites were _multiple,_ I concluded with a giggle.

Putting everything away, I headed to my favorite room in the house. The library. I'd been here six weeks, so the liquid refreshments were nearly depleted, and I was getting to the bottom of the frozen blood supplies, too. There'd be enough of both to get me through these last few days, but I'd head off Friday and slip back onto campus ready for graduation on Saturday. If everything went the way I hoped, I'd be back in Minneapolis by Tuesday or Wednesday starting my new life with Dimka.

* * *

I was edgy as the wheels hit the runway. I'd been a Guardian for twenty-five years now, twenty of them for Abe, and I'd learned when my gut said something wasn't right to listen to it. I looked around the plane's cabin, satisfied with the team we'd brought; Dimitri, Kirk, Fernandes, Krantz, and Jasinski were here for Rose, myself and four of the team from Russia were here for Abe.

We'd also given a lift to Guardian Schoenberg. As the former Head of the Guardian's Council, the man was legendary. It turns out he was also a friend to Belikov and Rose. When Dimitri had mentioned to Abe that Schoenberg would be traveling to the Academy a few days before graduation to supervise the combat trials, Abe was quick to make an offer for him to travel with us. Schoenberg was sharp – not much got past him. It's probably why he and Abe hit it off straight away. I didn't miss the speculative look when he regarded Rose and then Abe in succession, or Abe's subtle head shake when Schoenberg lifted his eyebrow questioningly and flicked his eyes back to Rose. Didn't take him long to pick that…

I'd briefed the Guardians to be on full alert, outlining Tasha Ozera as the primary concern. Belikov had met with the whole team, describing Tasha's mindset when she'd stalked his former charge and everything he knew about how she was likely to act. He'd also stressed that Rose was the number one priority – both her safety and keeping her calm.

"This is her last few days with her friends at the place she grew up. She's got a few exams to complete so she's already going to be stressed and emotional – I don't want anyone or anything upsetting her unnecessarily," he'd stressed.

Right now she looked happy enough. She was standing beside her seat waiting for the Guardians to take the baggage to the bus. We'd all be staying in Guest accommodations this time – Abe having booked three units side-by-side. With the Academy about to receive an influx of parents for graduation, it would be busy, but that couldn't be helped. Belikov volunteered to drive again, and in no time we were installed in our units. We'd again kept Rose's arrival under wraps, so since we'd arrived in daylight, she and Belikov had a snack and went to bed to try and transition back to Moroi time.

Meanwhile, I checked in with Alberta before the other Guardians and I took two-hour shifts patrolling campus looking for anything unusual. The worst thing is I, like Belikov, was convinced Tasha was going to act this weekend. It was just a matter of when.

* * *

It was Wednesday, and I had my second last exam. _Animal Behavior and Physiology._ The test was in the afternoon Moroi time, so I was well rested. Dimitri was paranoid about my security and insisted Kirk and Krantz plus himself accompany me. Again I walked in just as the exam was about to start, and since we hadn't left our quarters since I'd arrived, I once again surprised my classmates. All my study had paid off. I was confident with my answers, even adding extra detail to some parts. When the bell rang, I sighed in relief putting my pen down. I had tomorrow off before my last exam for _Bodyguard Theory and Personal Protection Four_ on Friday, and then I'd be done.

I could feel elation but also fear through the bond – this had been Lissa's last exam. She had the next few days to pack and then after graduation she'd be leaving St. Vladimir's for good. It was with a start that I realized I had no idea precisely where she'd be moving _to_. In the past, I would have been across every detail – but not anymore. Without me, and with Christian wrapped up in worrying about his missing aunt, she was feeling very alone.

I called Dimitri over with a single look.

"Comrade? Lissa's freaking out – I'd like to spend some time with her tonight. She's going to be leaving St. Vlad's in a few days, but she has no family or anything to go to. I promise I won't tell her anything about where we are or what we're doing, but she's still my friend…"

"Of course, Roza – you don't need my permission. Why don't you see if she's free? If you can I'd prefer to keep you away from public spaces like the cafeteria, but maybe she'll need a hand packing her room?" he suggested. I kept forgetting as her former Guardian, Dimitri had been in her room and knew how much _stuff_ Lissa had!

I walked over to her, giving her a big hug.

"Congrats on your last exam!"

"Thanks! I wasn't sure if you'd be here."

"Yep. Here until graduation," I said, knowing there was no point hiding it. "You meeting up with Christian or do you have time to hang out?"

"Christian's got his Culinary Science prac. exam tomorrow," she said with a hint of relief. "So I have the night free."

"Did you want to hang out? The Dhamps have their trials tomorrow, so I won't bother Eddie, Mase or the girls, but we could go back to your room, and I could help you pack?"

"That would be a Godsend! I've been trying, but not made a lot of progress," she admitted. The two of us walked back to her room. Our relationship wasn't the same as it was, but it was better than it had been for a while. And for now, that was enough.

"So where are you moving to?" I asked after she'd unlocked her door and Dimitri and Krantz checked the space thoroughly before leaving us to our own devices. I knew Krantz and Kirk would be guarding outside the door.

"Well Uni doesn't start until September, so for the first three months, I'm going to live in the Dragomir townhouse at Court. Christian's going to come too. He can't get in touch with Tasha, so he has nowhere else to go. Besides, he doesn't really want to have to deal with her, and we'd hoped to move in together after graduation…"

"It must be hard for him," I commented sadly. It couldn't be easy to have your only remaining family member lose their marbles.

"It is," she said. "I keep trying to help him, but he's just so _angry_ all the time."

I gave her an understanding look. I felt horrible I couldn't tell her I wouldn't be as far away as she feared; that she wouldn't be alone. But I'd promised Dimitri, and he was right. While I was sure she'd learned her lesson, people couldn't slip up and pass on information that they didn't know. Dimitri had worked too hard to build a home for Junior and I for us to have to abandon it if Tasha found us.

"So how's life wherever you are?"

"It's good. Really good, Liss. It's different to the life I thought I'd be living and sometimes that scares me. I never saw myself as a mother, and every now and again I have a complete freak out about it," I admitted. "But I'm also very happy."

"And everything is going well with Dimitri?"

"Lissa it's _perfect_. He's so loving! I wish I could tell you all about his allocation and our lives there but I can't. But I love where we are. I'm quite near a couple of human townships which is nice. And I've been learning to cook, too!"

"Yeah in one of your texts you said you cooked for eight – are there a lot of other people where you are?"

Shit! I hadn't even thought about that. No wonder Dimitri kept reminding me to be careful what I said.

"The Moroi there had guests over, so there were visiting Guardians," I quickly made up. It was a believable lie.

"I was impressed when I got your text," she said. "You used to be able to burn water!"

"I know," I giggled. "I just figured if I'm going to be a Mom I'd better learn to make a few meals. Since then I've done a pork roast, a beef roast, chicken and corn soup, a curry and even biscuits. I tried bread the other day, but it was harder than a rock and completely inedible. I've got a beginner's cookbook, and it's not bad. And I have a couple of frozen pizzas stashed in the freezer so if I stuff up there's always plan b."

"Do you have to cook a lot?" I could tell by her tone she worried I was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

"No. I don't _have_ to cook at all. Meals are provided every day bar Sunday. Dimitri almost always cooks Sunday dinner, but I've decided to make Sunday lunch my thing. I'm kinda hoping to make it a tradition to have friends over for Sunday lunch. Well, once we make some that is. We're pretty isolated where we are."

It was true in a way. While we weren't physically too far from Court, the need to stay hidden from Tasha meant I'd only been there once since we'd moved to the property – and then it was straight to Abe's place. Not that I was heartbroken about it, but I probably would be next week when all my friends came to court to get given their allocations, and I wouldn't be able to let them know I was only twenty minutes away. I made a mental note to discuss the issue with Dimitri and Pavel. Maybe just Eddie and Mason could be told where we were and come for a visit?

Pushing that thought aside, I helped Lissa sort things into different piles; pack for Lehigh, pack for Court, store at Court and get rid of. Lissa being Lissa the 'store at Court' stack was larger than the 'get rid of'; but she'd told me the townhouse there was large, so she'd no doubt have space.

"How are you going to get all your stuff to Court?"

"One of the Szelskys organized it. They've got their Guardians driving their stuff across in a big rig, and they're selling off the extra space." Made sense. The Szelskys were always an enterprising bunch.

"Hope you bought a lot of space," I giggled looking around at the mountain of stuff still to be packed.

* * *

The school's primary playing field, which had been completely transformed. With equipment, hills, valleys, and foliage it was a realistic obstacle and endurance course.

"Hey! Rose! I wasn't sure you would make it!" a red-haired dynamo accosted me as I walked into a large wooden structure that housed the Novices as they waited to be called for their trails. Mason. When I'd appeared at the door the young Guardian there had tried to stop me.

"Novices only," he'd informed me.

"Yes. That's right. I'm a Novice." He'd blinked at me perplexed before I'd cajoled, "Come on? Please? All my friends are in there, and I want to wish them good luck."

Nodding he'd let me pass, and I'd walked in to see my closest male friend.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world, Duckie," I said, giving him a quick hug before he lined up ready to be called. As 'Ashford' he'd be first up.

Looking about I could see the other Novices crowding around, some looking through the doorway out onto the field, those who had mentors standing there getting last minute words of advice and encouragement. Everyone was nervous and excited, and it was hard not to feel a little left out. This was the moment I'd worked towards for most of my life, and I'd be sitting it out.

"You would have aced your trials," an accented voice whispered in my ear as a pair of leather-clad arms wrapped themselves around my waist.

"You bet I would have," I smiled, spinning in his arms and turning to face my lover and former mentor. "You would have been here reminding me to pay attention and not do anything rash. And I would have promised you I wouldn't, and then I'd have gone onto the field and done it anyway."

We both laughed, and I rested my head against his chest, still a little glum.

"You miss it, don't you?" he asked, and I could hear the guilt in his voice. Knowing he'd see right through me if I lied, I answered him honestly.

"Sometimes, yes. Times like this I do. I love being pregnant," I explained, and I meant it, "but I miss the training and the focus and the sense of purpose. I dreamed that somehow we'd be together and we'd be the best of the best, but things are different now."

"We still will be," he soothed. "Once the baby is born you can get back into training."

"I know. And I will. But Junior has to come first now. We both know how risky this business is, Comrade. I know what it's like to grow up with no one – I won't do that to my child."

"I won't either, milaya. I know life hasn't worked out how we thought. But I hope you can still be happy?"

"I am happy, Comrade. I guess it's normal to wonder about the road not taken," I said, for the first time understanding the poem they'd made us study in _Senior Language Arts_.

"Come to gloat to the rest of us that you got out of this?" Eddie asked coming to stand in front of us with a grin.

"Sure am!" I said, plastering on a grin so he wouldn't guess I wished I was going out onto the field today, too. "I'm expecting you to show them how it's done, Castile, since I'm not going to!"

"You're on," he promised, shaking Dimitri's hand and accepting his best wishes.

"We'd better go to the stands now milaya," Dimitri suggested lovingly, knowing Mase would be called at any moment and I wouldn't want to miss a thing.

We'd only just taken our seats, me sitting beside Dimitri surrounded by Kirk, Krantz, Fernandes, and Jasinski when Alberta's voice was heard across the field calling Mason out. I sat in awe as I watched each of my friends making their way across the field, avoiding Guardians dressed as Strigoi while coaxing their Moroi to the safety of the far end. There were a couple of clear fails, and my heart sank for those Novices who'd faltered at the final hurdle. But all my friends had made it through. I knew there were big celebrations planned this evening in the Novice common room. There'd be lots of alcohol and frivolity, and while I couldn't partake in one, I fully intended to indulge in the other.

Dimitri and my little entourage were leaving the stands to congratulate my friends when a harassed looking Alberta intercepted us. It had been a busy day for her, and if her expression were anything to go by it was still far from over.

"Rose? Dimitri? Could I see you for a moment?" she asked, shepherding us over into the timber structure where the Novices had waited.

Dimitri signaled for the other Guardians to stand by as we walked into the now empty hut.

"I was looking through the guest accommodation bookings earlier, and I noticed that Janine Hathaway and her charge are booked to arrive tomorrow to stay two nights. I've allocated them rooms on the ground floor as far as possible away from yours, but I thought you'd want to know."

I looked at Dimitri sadly. He was aware that Janine no longer considered me her daughter and that I was still struggling with it, especially in light of my impending motherhood. It hadn't occurred to me my mother might be at graduation, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt to know that yes she'd be there, but not out of any interest in seeing me.

"Thanks, Alberta," my Russian God replied, seeing me stuck for words. "It's kind of you to let us know."

Alberta nodded and looked as though she wanted to hug me, but her filthy mud-splattered uniform stopped her. Instead, she gave my hand a firm squeeze before leaving Dimitri and me in privacy.

"Come on beautiful, let's get you out of here," Dimitri encouraged lovingly. "You have a party to get ready for," he coaxed in a hopeless attempt at lifting my spirits. He knew me well enough to appreciate he needed to get me back to our room in the guest quarters before a monumental hormonal meltdown occurred.


	55. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 32

"Can you _please_ come and try to talk some sense into her, Celeste?" the worried Russian voice concluded, whispering into the phone. "She just won't listen to me!"

I laughed looking around my room. It had been a _tiring_ day running around on the field tackling and being tackled by Novices. A long shower, some junk food and a night in my room watching trashy TV was very tempting. But I hadn't seen Rose and Dimitri since they'd arrived back, and I knew they were only here for a few days.

"Sure. Give me fifteen minutes to shower and get into something other than this filthy clothing, and I'll be there," I promised.

Stripping off, I climbed into the shower setting the water to almost scalding. Washing my short hair, I let suds run down over my back and chest, closing my eyes and imagining a man standing behind me, pressing his naked body up against me, reaching around to soap my breasts. Not just any man. In my fantasies, it was Art Schoenberg. Not that there was any chance of _that_ happening, I thought to myself with a derisive snort.

I opened my eyes with a sigh. I'd seen Art on campus today. He'd been supervising the trials. It hadn't occurred to me he'd be there, so I hadn't been looking out for him in the Guardian's hut when I came in to put on a fresh shirt after that filthy grub Aylett had torn mine when I'd taken him down. I'd stripped my long-sleeved black shirt off, and was standing in a very tight crop bra when I realized I wasn't alone; Art was standing at the coffee station pouring himself a mug. Now normally I'd have relished the opportunity to 'accidentally' undress in front of him, but I looked horrible. The guy had seemed like a deer caught in headlights, stammering an apology before leaving the hut as quickly as possible, leaving his coffee behind. _Not_ the sort of reaction I'd have hoped for.

Stepping out of the shower, I looked at my naked form in the mirror as I toweled down. I was still young, and my body didn't show any telltale signs I'd borne a child nine years ago. My breasts were relatively perky, and lots of ab work had brought back my flat toned stomach. I wasn't fooling myself I was any stunner, but I got my fair share of admiring glances. Shame one of them hadn't been from Art. Oh, the things I'd like to do with that man…

I laughed at myself. It had been a while. Too long if I was lusting after a man who clearly didn't want to give me a second look. Maybe it was time I did something about it? There were lots of hot Guardians on campus with their charges in anticipation of graduation. Alberta had been putting them to work guarding exams, doing ward patrol and even helping with the trials today. As one of a few women amongst a sea of male Guardians, I'd have no trouble finding someone willing to entertain me. And a night rolling around the sheets sounded like _just_ what I needed.

With that in mind, I put on my tightest skinny jeans, worked a little gel into my hair, covered the small bruise on my cheek with some foundation before adding mascara, eyeliner, and a natural lip gloss. Donning a tight teal tank top with a deep v-neck, I put on a pretty pendant which hung just above the cleft between my breasts. A pair of ankle boots with a chunky heel, and I was done. I knew I looked good. Now to visit Rose and Dimitri in guest quarters and see if anyone over that way caught my eye. And if not – well maybe tonight I'd stop by the Guardian's lounge. It was always particularly busy when there was an influx of external Guardians on campus. I'd just exited the building and was walking across to guest quarters when I heard my name.

"Celeste?"

"Guardian Schoenberg," I greeted a little breathlessly. What was _wrong_ with me? I was a strong independent woman. I didn't turn to jello when I saw a man. Well, at least I didn't with anyone else but him.

"I thought we'd decided it was Art?" he said, flashing me a charming smile.

"We did. Sorry Art," I replied, wondering whether I'd imagined the admiring look he'd just given me.

"You were impressive out there today, Celeste," he said sounding almost a little nervous.

"Oh Art, there were so many of us out there today – I'm sure you couldn't tell which one was me."

"Don't bet on it," he said. "You're distinctive. I very much enjoyed watching your form." I didn't say anything but gave him a small smile. I wonder if he'd intended the double meaning behind his words. "You look lovely. Are you going to the Guardian's lounge?" he asked casually.

And just like that, I no longer wanted to find casual sex for the night.

"No. Just going to see Belikov and Rose. They're staying in guest quarters."

"Oh? Is that where they are? Would you mind if I accompanied you? I have something I need to speak with Belikov about."

"Not at all. So have you been busy?" I asked, trying to come up with something to talk about.

"Yes and no," he said with a small frown. "The Badica's were so spooked by the attack they've decided to base themselves at Court. Court guarding is not especially challenging – but it does give me the opportunity to be more involved with training at the academies and with my role on the Guardian Council. Better than being put out to pasture," he said bitingly.

"Put out to pasture? A strong, virile man like you? I hardly think so," I scoffed, swallowing heavily to stop myself imagining his strong muscled arms pulling me to him.

We'd stopped walking, and he turned to face me. His eyes looked troubled, and he'd opened his mouth to say something when we were interrupted.

"Matthews? Have you seen Webster? He was due to take over my shift half an hour ago," Chaung grumbled walking towards us along the pathway. I swear I wanted to murder the guy.

"Afraid not," I mumbled in what I hope passed for a friendly tone.

Chaung walked off towards the Guardian quarters muttering under his breath. I turned back to Art, but the moment was gone.

"Shall we?" he asked courteously, and we started walking again. We walked in silence and were nearly at the guest quarters when he asked, "So do you have plans for your semester break? Alberta likes you all to take leave when the students aren't here, doesn't she?"

"I visit my family for a fortnight every June," I said. "They're outside Charlottesville, Virginia, so I don't get to see them very often."

"A beautiful part of the world, Virginia," he said looking slightly discomposed. "If you find yourself with some extra time, perhaps you might like to come up and visit Court? I'd be delighted to take a few days off and show you around."

"I usually spend every day I can with my family," I said absently, stopping when I noticed the slightly hopeful look on Art's face fade. "But I think adding a trip to Court would be perfect. With Belikov's reallocation, I've wracked up so much overtime. Alberta's been pressing me to take it."

"Well let me know when you've made your plans," he said his hopeful smile returning, "and how many days you can stay. I'll book leave."

I nodded shyly. An important man like Guardian Schoenberg didn't arrange leave to show just anyone around Court. Maybe there was a little bit of interest there after all?

"I'd like that very much," I said, giving him a bright smile.

We were silent as we climbed to the second floor and walked along to the unit where Belikov and Rose were staying. I knocked on the door, and Belikov answered it looking harassed.

"Oh thank God you're here!" he groaned. "She's in our room. Nothing I say is calming her down. She keeps saying I won't understand."

Art gestured me ahead of him into the unit, guiding me by placing his hand on the small of my back. It wasn't the first time he'd touched me, but given our chat, I felt it was significant, especially since I couldn't see him doing anything like that with Alberta or any of the other female Guardians!

"Art? Rose is upset. I'll just have a quick word with her. Why don't you keep D company while I calm her down?" I suggested.

"Shall do," he said with a nod, dropping onto the sofa opposite a worried looking Dimitri.

I knocked on the door Belikov had indicated.

"Rose? It's Celeste. I hope you're decent because I'm coming in!" I said repeating the words I'd used what seemed like a lifetime ago. I opened the door to find Rose on the bed with her face buried in a pillow. "What's wrong?"

"Did Dimitri call you? I'm going to _kill_ him," she groaned.

"Yes, but he's at his wit's end. What's going on?"

"It's my mother. She's going to be here tomorrow."

"Is she here for your graduation?"

"Doubtful," Rose snarked. "She's here with her charge. I don't want to see her," the younger woman cried.

"Why?" I asked her calmly. "Are you worried she's going to make a scene?"

"Not her. She'll go out of her way to pretend she has no idea who I am!"

"Are you worried other people will know about what happened between you?"

"No. No one cares. I doubt they'll even notice."

"Then what is it?"

"I want her to care. To be proud of me," Rose wailed, looking up at me. My heart went out to her, it really did. "I know I'm pregnant, and it isn't the graduation I'd planned, but despite everything, I'm still going to cross that stage and get my diploma."

"Rose? I don't think she has it in her. You have to stop blaming yourself. She let you go of you when you were _four_. A four-year-old doesn't do anything to deserve to lose their mother's love. The problem isn't you. It never has been. As one mother to another, believe me – it's _her_."

"I could never treat Junior like that…"

"I know. Hold your head up high. Face her down and know everyone's love that's worth having is already yours."

"But I still _want_ her to love me," she said in a lost little voice.

"I know," I replied sadly, sitting beside her and hugging her. "But that's not something you can control. So why wouldn't Dimitri understand this?"

"He loves me so much he can't understand anyone _else not_ loving me," she admitted with a rueful laugh. I smiled with her. It was a lovely problem to have.

We sat side by side.

"I miss not seeing you all the time," Rose said shooting me a smile. "You're good at sorting me out!"

"I miss you too," I said. It was nice having a close female friend to talk to. "So… don't tell me you're going to miss the party tonight?"

"I've got my _Moroi Culture_ exam tomorrow, but I might go for a while," she said.

"I thought that one was earlier in the week? I had to supervise it."

"Yeah, the Moroi did theirs on Monday. They get tested on different stuff to us - like how to greet people and where to stand depending on rank and all that. We get tested on the guarding priorities."

"That's right," I muttered. Usually only used at Court or formal occasions, there were a whole heap of wanky protocols about the Moroi pecking order which in turn dictated who Guardians were meant to protect first and foremost in the event of an attack. I made a derisive comment about how stupid the whole thing was, and Rose agreed.

Twenty minutes later Rose was dressed and looking smoking. She'd let me do her makeup, and I'd done a good job if I did say so myself.

"Wow!" Dimitri said, his eyes looking his beautiful girlfriend up and down when we emerged from their bedroom. Even pregnant she was going to be the best-looking girl there, and I was glad to see Dimitri appreciated that.

"Do I look ok?" she asked innocently, not unaware of the effect she was having on her man.

"You look… wow…" Dimitri said again.

My eyes met Art's. He winked, and we both laughed.

"Young love, eh? Looks like these two have a party to attend. Perhaps you'd like to join me for a drink at the Guardian's lounge?" Art suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," I replied happily, not missing the surprised look Rose shot me from behind Art's back.

The four of us walked to where the party was being held, Dimitri meeting up with a couple of Guardians I didn't know there as the three arranged to guard outside while Rose attended the gathering. Art and I were walking across to Guardian building when Townsend intercepted us.

"Schoenberg – I was just about to call you. There's been a problem with one of the Novice exams. Alberta was hoping you could help us sort it out? We're under the pump to get the results finalized so we know who can graduate. I'm afraid it might mean an all-nighter."

"Of course," Art said, with what sounded like frustration, "I'll be right there." Turning to me, he sighed, "I'll have to take a rain check on that drink, Celeste. I hope you have an enjoyable evening."

"What a pity, I was looking forward to it. If you're going to be busy, I think I might catch an early night," I said, trying not to be too forward but wanting him to know it was his company I was interested in. "The next few days are going to be crazy."

"Yes, they are," Art replied. "I hope you have pleasant dreams, Celeste."

"I will," I said, giving him a smile. "Don't work too hard, Art."

We parted at the stairs. Him to go to the room where the papers were being graded, me to get some beauty sleep.

* * *

"So what's the go with you and Belikov?" Jesse jeered loudly. "It's like he believes he's the father of your baby."

I tensed. This was _exactly_ the sort of discussion I'd been hoping to avoid but had expected, this being the first time I'd been out of Dimitri's sight in public on campus. I'd hoped the party being in the Novice common room Moroi wouldn't be attending, but apparently, I was wrong.

"Don't be stupid, Jesse. Aren't you the one who pointed out Dhampirs can't reproduce together?"

"Yeah, I envy you Dhamps that. You can fuck each other all you want and not have to worry about contraception." Jesse's face was flushed with too much alcohol, and he was starting to draw attention to himself. Well. To us.

"Unlike you. Although I suppose you just use your personality…"

"Use my personality? For what?" Jesse asked, clearly beyond following my repartee.

"Contraception," I replied deadpan, much to the hilarity of those watching our exchange. I quickly put my arm through Mason's as he materialized at my side and guided me across to where Meredith, Chelsea, Angela, and Eddie were standing.

None of the Dhampir were drinking to excess as we all had an exam tomorrow afternoon, but the Moroi were cutting loose. Camille Conta and Ralf Sarcozy were dancing on a tabletop that was listing dangerously. I was disappointed when Carly and Aaron dragged them down before it gave way. I would have enjoyed seeing those two laid on their asses!

I waved to where Lissa and Christian were on the opposite side of the room. Lissa was looking like her usual bright, happy self, although it couldn't compensate for the morose sarcastic look on Christian's face. Guess nothing's changed there!

I was chatting with Meredith a little later when I heard Jesse's drunken slurring over the general hubbub where he was holding court to a bunch of Royal Moroi students.

"…so that's when I figured Belikov's game. I mean – she's up the duff, so he _knows_ she's already putting out, right? If you want guaranteed action why not go for a girl who's known to open her legs?!"

I wanted to punch the guy, I really did. But that would just give him the satisfaction he wanted. So I pretended I didn't hear it. I thought it was about time I left the party anyway when there were squeals of alarm. Carly and Aaron were slapping at Jesse's back where his shirt had caught fire!

"Put it out!" he shrieked.

"We're trying, stop moving," Aaron said. Meanwhile, Carly was filling a pitcher with water and threw it over Jesse.

"That wasn't funny! Which one of you did it?!" he roared, looking around the room and trying to pick the fire users amongst the dozen or so Moroi present.

"You did it yourself, Jesse," Lissa said, looking at him guilelessly. I felt the small glow of spirit as she used the slightest bit of compulsion on him. "You lurched back into that candle."

Jesse spun and looked at the lit candles on the sideboard directly behind where he was standing.

"Oh. Thanks, guys," he mumbled drunkenly to Aaron and Carly, missing the amused expression on Christian's face.

I gave Christian a wink, and he gave me a small shrug. Lissa looked between the two of us and beamed. It was hardly a truce; more like in that instant Christian and I disliked Jesse more than we did each other. But I could tell through the bond Lissa thought it was a start.

* * *

Rose was lined up to go into her exam when I saw her. I'd been looking out for her ever since we'd left guest accommodations. I had this funny feeling I'd see her today, and I was right. I stepped out from the wall slightly, obscuring her from Rose's view. My girl didn't need negativity bringing her down right now. I gave Roza a loving look as she filed into the classroom with her classmates. I'd be there in just a moment to protect her while she did her exam. But first I had something to attend to.

"Janine," I greeted the diminutive red-haired woman who, like me, was evidently going to help guard this exam.

"Belikov," she greeted with a confused smile. "I heard you'd left the academy on a mission?"

"Yes, I had. And now I'm back for graduation," I said coldly. "I've heard what you had to say to Rose, and now you're going to hear what _I_ have to say. You made your decision, now _stay away_ from her. You've done enough damage for a lifetime, and I won't have you upsetting her any further."

"What's she to you?" Janine asked in confusion. "Why are you so interested in what happens with her?"

"That's none of your business, either," I snapped. "I mean it, Janine. You gave away your right to have anything to do with her. Now I can't _make_ you, but if you want to show you have any sort of common decency then guard the back of the room where she won't see you. Rose doesn't deserve to have you ruining her chances at her exam."

Before the stunned woman could say another word, I spun around and stalked towards the front doors of the examination hall. Taking up my stance beside my love at the edge of the room, I surveyed the space, taking in all the potential points of entry, exit and casting my eyes across the students to make sure they were all seated where they ought to be. Satisfied all was as it should be, I made eye contact with the two members of my team also guarding Rose's exam, nodding to give them the all clear. I saw Janine enter via the rear doors and take up a stance against the back wall, directly behind Rose's row where she'd be out of the younger Dhampir's sight.

I knew Rose would be able to feel the tension radiating from me, so I consciously relaxed each muscle willing myself to appear calm. I could feel her eyes on me, and sure enough, when I dropped my gaze to her, she was looking at me lovingly.

"Good luck," I mouthed to her, giving her a tender look.

"I love you," she mouthed back.

I couldn't help the little smile that graced my face. I was a lucky man indeed. Relaxing into an at ease stance, my feet shoulder width apart, hands clasped behind my back, I spent the next two hours watching the mother of my child complete her last ever high school exam, while her mother spent the two hours watching us. The bell rang, and Rose put her pen down, looking at me happily as her teacher walked around gathering up the examination papers. As soon as they'd been collected, and the class dismissed with their teacher's congratulations, my love was in my arms.

"Well for better or worse I'm done," she grinned, throwing her arms around my neck. While we'd been limiting the PDA, knowing her mother was watching, I couldn't help myself – I drew the woman I loved into a long, hot kiss. The sort of kiss small children shouldn't see. I loved the way she immediately melted against me, her fingertips tickling at my molnija and promise mark.

"What was that for?" she whispered, pulling away from me, her eyes twin pools of want.

"Because I love you," I told her.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Janine at the back of the room, her incredulous face almost as red as her hair. Rose spun and picked up her exam equipment and bag, turning to follow her classmates from the room. She grabbed my hand our fingers entwined, and we were walking towards the rear doors when I felt Rose's hand tense within mine. She'd spotted her mother, but giving no outward sign of it, we walked past her and out into the hallway.

"Comrade? I said I'd meet up with Eddie and Mase a little later, but right now I thought it would be nice if we had a little celebration just you and me..." she murmured meaningfully.

I gave my beautiful woman a nod, dropping her hand as we hurried back to our room in the guest quarters. It had been a couple of days, and neither of us was used to going that long.

* * *

"You look beautiful Guardian Hathaway," Dimitri congratulated as he kissed my cheek. We were standing in the hall after the Guardian inking ceremony on Saturday morning. The place was packed, and lots of introductions were going on. The inking ceremony was different to the main graduation ceremony. Open to family and Guardians only; it was a solemn affair – each Novice making their promise and receiving their promise mark in recognition. Novices were called one by one, their training score announced, and then Lionel 'inked' them.

"Congratulations Guardian Hathaway!" Celeste squealed enthusiastically, giving me a huge hug. "You made it! And what a training score! I'm _so_ proud of you!"

"We all are!" Eddie said coming to hug me and introduce me to his mother. I saw her take in my obviously pregnant belly with surprise, but she had the good grace to accept it without comment.

"Congratulations, dear," she said kindly. "What an honor to get the equal top training score," she said, fondly ruffling her son's hair. Much to my amazement, Eddie and I had scored the equal top of our grade.

"Yeah, Mom – maybe not mention in the letter you're going to send out bragging to everyone you've ever met that the only time I could catch up to Hathaway was when she was what – six months pregnant."

"Shut up Castile," I murmured embarrassed.

"It's true, Hathaway. You've always been able to kick my ass!"

"And I'll do it now if you don't shut it," I retorted, poking my tongue out at him.

"Now now, no arguing people," Mason said coming over draping an arm around me. "Congrats Rosie, you did good."

"Right back at you, Duckie!" I replied, admiring his promise mark. "You look just like a proper Guardian now!"

"I _am_ a proper Guardian," he chuckled rolling his eyes.

"I know," I sighed, "but you'll always be the four-year-old boy in the swimsuit with a duck on it to me," I teased.

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" he said with a sigh.

"I intend to make sure of it," I teased, giving him an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

Dimitri insisted on taking plenty of photos before Mason grabbed the camera and took some of Dimitri and me.

"Roza? Will you be ok here for a minute? I want to catch Lionel before he packs up."

I shook my head.

"I'll come with you," I muttered, excusing myself from where we were talking.

The two of us headed over to where Lionel was sitting at his tattooing station having a cup of tea.

"Lionel? Can you be bothered chucking on a zvezda for me? I'm owed one," Dimitri explained.

"You don't want it done at a ceremony?" he asked in surprise.

Dimitri shook his head.

"I want this as low key as possible," he explained, pulling out the authorization and handing it to him. I stood beside my man as Lionel put down his cup of tea and fired up his gun a final time. Within moments my man had another mark on the back of his neck. Handing his phone to Lionel, he asked him to take a photo of the backs of our necks side by side.

"Mama will want to see it," he explained in embarrassment to an amused Lionel before firing off a quick message to Baia.

"Every Mama does," Lionel laughed kindly.

It had been a perfect ceremony. Pretty much every Dhampir I loved had been there. Even my mother. She'd slipped in and stood at the back just as it started and slipped out during Shannon Jatz' inking. While she didn't make eye contact, and her Guardian façade didn't flicker for an instant, I chose to believe that she'd wanted to see me make my promise. I don't think anyone else had noticed her slip in and out, so I didn't mention it. But I knew.

We rejoined the others and enjoyed the lunch of tea and sandwiches, and then it was time to get changed for the graduation ceremony in the afternoon. A larger ritual than the inking, Moroi and the new Guardians would stand side by side to receive their academic diplomas. While the Moroi tended to dress up, especially the Royals, it was the tradition for the new Guardians to wear black and white in recognition of their newly made promise. Pretty much every Dhampir inked this morning would be in black pants, white shirt, and a black jacket. But when I'd tried mine on this morning, it just looked ridiculous. I looked like a whale. A whale attempting to pretend they weren't expecting. Knowing every Moroi would be looking out for the knocked up Guardian disapprovingly anyway, I'd decided to rock the pregnant thing. I had a pretty white maxi dress that I'd team with a black bolero cardigan. With my hair up in an attractive, loose bun to show my promise and molnija I'd look feminine and every day of my six months pregnant.

Back at the guest accommodations Abe, Pavel, and the Russian Guardians were waiting. Abe hadn't left his quarters since we'd arrived as far as I could tell.

"Congratulations, Guardian Hathaway," Abe said, admiring my promise mark. "I heard you tied for top training mark? I might have to put you on the payroll!"

"I think it's enough you're giving us a home," I smiled, accepting his hug.

I slipped into our unit and got changed, surprised to see Dimitri doing likewise.

"Why are you getting into uniform, Comrade?"

"Security," Dimitri said fiercely. "I've spoken with Alberta. Security has been upgraded, and Fernandes, Kirk and myself are all going to be part of the on-stage security. Jasinski and Krantz will be sitting in the row behind you and Abe's team will be working the floor."

"Are you that worried she's here?"

"I have a feeling she might be," my Russian God replied. "I don't plan on taking any chances. If anything happens, you are to go with either Fernandes and Kirk or Jasinski and Krantz without question. I need you to promise me, milaya. It's me she wants, so she won't hurt me – but she might very well try and harm you, so I'm not taking any chances."

"I promise," I whispered reluctantly. I saw the sense in what he was saying, but it didn't sit well with me.

"I'm probably just being paranoid – but I just couldn't bear anything happening to you," he explained.

"I feel the same way, Comrade. I nearly lost you once…"

"You won't lose me, Roza. Today is my first day with Guardian Rose Hathaway; the woman I love, the mother of our child and the Dhampir I want to spend my life with."

I slapped his chest playfully. "You know how to say all the sweet stuff!"

We emerged from our room, Abe grabbed my camera, taking lots of photos of Dimitri and me – he wearing his black uniform, me in my version of black and whites.

"Come on milaya," Dimitri said. "Let's go get you graduated so I can stop feeling so guilty about being in love with a school girl!"

Pavel, Abe and the Guardians who lived with us laughed. We hadn't shared all our history, but those that lived with us knew Dimitri had been posted at St Vlad's, that he'd been my mentor at one stage, and that we'd fallen in love.

I met Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Chelsea, and Mason out the front of the main hall. Dimitri, Fernandes, and Kirk were trying to loiter inconspicuously but failing dismally.

"Who are the goons with Belikov?" Christian asked, quickly picking them.

"Just some friends," I said unconvincingly.

"She's not here," he said in exasperation. "I've been trying all day, her phone's not on, and I've been watching out."

"Can we please not argue, Christian?" I asked plaintively. "I just want to get through this, just like you."

Lissa gave him a stern look, and he complied.

"Yeah, sure."

We entered the hall, taking our seats. Dimitri walked me to mine, crouching down in front of me, putting a hand on either side of my face and pulling me into a gentle kiss.

"I love you, Guardian Hathaway. Now go up there and graduate. I'll be watching, and remember your promise. If anything happens…"

"I know, I know… I'll do it," I murmured, a chill running through me.

He nodded and stood in front of me, giving me a final look before his eyes searched the crowd for a minute and with a frustrated growl he went to stand on the stage near the Court Guardians who were here in protection of Princess Voda who would be officiating over today's ceremony in the Queen's stead .

"Wow. You and he are really a thing, aren't you?" the Moroi girl beside me said.

"Yeah, we are," I answered with a worried look.

* * *

My disguise was holding. I'd sat three rows back to the right in the chapel from where Lissa and Christian sat, and they'd not noticed me. I'd found an elderly Drozdov Aunt of some graduate, who was visiting with a septuagenarian Tarus friend. They were there mostly as an excuse to get out of Court, rather than any real interest in the graduation or graduate. Introducing myself as part of the massive Szelsky family, claiming to be there out of obligation to see a Godchild I'd not seen since their baptism, I'd tagged along with them. Looking like a younger relative taking care of two older family members, I slipped past the Guardians without them giving me a second glance.

I knew my love wouldn't be at the Saturday morning Church service. That was for the Moroi while the Novices had their inking. I _was_ surprised to see Abe Mazur in attendance. It was a wonder that man could step foot on hallowed ground without combusting. As far as I knew, he didn't have any children – but then he had a finger in so many pies he was probably here to intimidate some poor bastard. Glad he had no idea who I was - he wasn't a man to cross!

After the service, I lunched on sandwiches and tea with my companions on the outside lawn before we filed into the hall for the graduation proper.

"Let me get us good seats," I said to my elderly escorts, approaching a Guardian I'd never seen before. "Excuse me – can you show us to seats near the front? My aunts are half blind and almost deaf – they'll disrupt the graduation with their whining if they can't hear the names and see their great grandnephew cross," I said rolling my eyes.

"Of course Lady…?"

"Szelsky," I provided without a pause.

He nodded, and I motioned my 'aunts' forward, pleased to see we were seated only a couple of rows behind the last graduates and about six rows back from the stage. Ideally positioned. I was chatting with the rather deaf Iris Tarus when I felt my man's presence. Sure enough, he was standing almost directly in front of me, three rows in front. And he was with the little bitch. I wanted to scream when I saw him seat her carefully, crouching in front of her and kissing her. This idiocy had to stop and now!

I forced myself to drag my eyes from his sexy body as he surveyed the crowd before going to stand on the stage near Princess Voda. I hadn't seen Priscilla Voda in years, and man had she aged! Guess time stands still for no man, and especially no woman…

With a sigh of contentment, I concluded my pleasantries with the old bats beside me. The lights in the hall dimmed, those on the stage were increased, and I sat there in anonymity watching as the man I loved stood on the stage looking unspeakably sexy in his uniform.

* * *

Alberta had agreed to leave the lights in the main hall dimmed not completely extinguished to give us the opportunity to observe what was going on. Every entrance and exit was guarded, there was a Guardian at the end of every row as well as some posing as guests in the audience. And there was no sign of Tasha Ozera. But she was there. I knew it.

"Pavel, are you sure she's here?" Abe asked under his breath, respectfully clapping as Xander Badica accepted his diploma.

"Positive," I growled under my breath.

The team were armed and had been issued with unambiguous instructions to protect Rose and the baby at all costs. Watching Belikov on the stage, I could see his eyes never stopped moving. He could feel it, too. The best Guardians always had that sixth sense. We sat through Castile, Conta, Dashkov, Dragomir, Drozdov and I could feel the tension increasing as we got closer to Hathaway.

"Rosemarie Hathaway," Princess Voda announced in her clear, dispassionate voice. I had my firearm out and ready, and I could see Belikov on the stage doing likewise. Rose stood and walked to the stage, lifting her ankle length dress as she climbed the stairs, looking beautiful in her long white dress and black cardigan.

There were immediate titters from the crowd. The girl was obviously and unashamedly pregnant, and by the sounds of it, the Moroi audience had been waiting for their opportunity to disapprove. Walking confidently towards Priscilla Voda, Rose showed no sign she was affected by the rather obvious comments from the crowd, or by the knowledge that Tasha Ozera might be here. No matter what she felt, outwardly she appeared self-assured and composed.

In fact, she was a picture of contrasts with Belikov who stood behind to her right. He was looking everywhere – his eyes never stopping for a second. It was actually he who alerted me to the woman in a scarf who suddenly stood in the sixth or seventh row.

"He's _mine_!" the woman roared before I heard a gunshot quickly followed by two more. I looked at the stage where Belikov had thrown himself in front of Rose, the two of them falling to the stage. The last thing I saw before I sprung into action was the vermilion red of blood as it spread across Rose's pristine white dress.


	56. Spring, When New Things Grow: Part 33

I saw a woman stand and brandish a gun in the direction of the stage. I heard a shot followed by two others. Then I looked at the stage and saw my daughter's shocked expression, the red of blood splashed across her dress.

"Down!" I heard Pavel shout before my face hit the utilitarian gray short weave carpet, and six-feet-four-inches of lard, lean muscle threw himself on top of me. And then all hell broke loose.

There was screaming and hysteria, people trying to storm the exits. It took a moment or two for the lights to come up, and then Alberta's voice came over the PA issuing instructions to the Guardians before asking the audience to exit the hall calmy and assemble outside in the commons. During all this, Pavel was frantically issuing instructions into his lapel radio, his earpiece chirping as his Guardians reported in. Finally, he rolled off me, holding his hand out to help me up.

"Why Pavel – I never knew you felt that way," I joked in shock. Pavel and I had been through a lot over the years, but it was a surprise to be reminded it was life and death sometimes.

Looking around me, it was hard to make sense of what I was seeing. On the stage, I could see Belikov surrounded by several crouching Guardians. He was lying flat, and he wasn't moving, so I couldn't tell his status. Likewise, there was a crowd of Guardians surrounding the row where the gunwoman had been. Finally, I looked across to see Janine Hathaway flanked by three Guardians.

"You need to come with us Guardian Hathaway," one of them said nervously. He was holding a pair of handcuffs, but looked loathe to use them. "We've been asked to take you to the holding cells just while all this is being figured out."

She nodded in assent, reaching into her pockets and handing over her stakes, a knife, her firearm and her own handcuffs.

On the other side of the hall, I could see a shell-shocked young Guardian, nineteen or twenty at the most, in handcuffs being led away.

"Rose?" I asked, looking at Pavel almost too afraid to ask.

"Has been secured at the infirmary. I need to remove you from here now," Pavel said tersely, looking about him still on high alert.

The hall wasn't far from the infirmary, and I could hear my daughter as soon as we entered through the outer electric doors. She was shouting at the top of her lungs. Not sure what sight awaited me, Pavel led me to a room where I found Rose standing beside a hospital bed, handcuffed to it by one wrist.

"I'm sorry Mr. Mazur," Fernandes reported nervously as Rose was screaming abuse at him, using language I didn't think an eighteen-year-old would know. "We had a difficult time getting her away, and she keeps trying to get to Belikov, so we had to handcuff her."

"Abe! What's happened to Dimitri? No one's telling me anything? You have to make them let me go! I need to see Dimitri!"

The girl was frantic, trying to wrench her hand from the handcuff restraining her.

"Rose calm down," I ordered in a slightly shaky voice. "Pavel will get an update on Dimitri now. Please sit down and relax. I promise you as soon as we know more, you can go to him." Nodding, Pavel left my side heading back out to the hall to discover the fate of my son-in-law.

"I should be with him now!" Rose shouted, angry tears coursing down her face.

Now I could see her properly, I could see the red staining on her dress wasn't as substantial as I'd initially thought. And it obviously wasn't hers. Which only left one option.

"It's _his_ blood!" she shouted, correctly interpreting the direction of my gaze. "He's hurt, and he needs me! I need to be there with him!"

I could see anguish and fear in her eyes, and I was about to order Kirk to hand over the handcuff keys when I heard a commotion outside. Opening the door cautiously, I saw a stretcher being wheeled past. A sheet was pulled over a form, but there was blood soaking into the cover in several spots.

"Put the body into the far cubicle and post two guards," the weary voice of the female doctor could be heard ordering.

While Rose couldn't hear or see what I had, she knew something was going on and went _nuts_. I honestly thought she was going to tear her hand off trying to get out the door to see what was happening. This would no doubt have continued had we not heard another voice.

"She's pregnant and will be panicking!" a Russian accented voice was bellowing. "It's dangerous for her to stress, and she's not going to calm down until she sees me! Roza?! Roza where are you?!"

Thank the Lord! It was Belikov – and by the sounds of it, he was well enough to create quite a ruckus. A moment later Dimitri was wheeled into the room on a gurney. There was a tourniquet on his upper left arm, and his uniform shirt had been cut free, but he appeared well enough. Pavel was accompanying him.

"Milaya, I'm ok," he soothed, trying to get up from the gurney to get to where Rose was handcuffed to the bed. "It's just a flesh wound." Rose had finally stopped screaming, but she was still pulling at the cuff trying to escape.

"Release her! Get her a warm blanket," Dimitri barked at Kirk, while the female doctor came in to assess his injuries. "Please, Dr. Olendzki. It's just a flesh wound. Take care of Roza first!"

"Dimitri's right, Rose. You _have_ to calm down. Lie down on the bed, please. On your left side. I'll wheel Dimitri next to you while I take a look at his injuries," the doctor said in an authoritative voice. "I need you to slip this oxygen mask on," she said, deftly placing a mask over Rose's mouth and nose.

Rose climbed onto the bed she'd been attached to, obediently lying on her left and reaching across to hold Dimitri's right hand as his trolley was placed beside her bed. Now she'd stopped shouting, the tears began in earnest.

"I'm ok Roza," Dimitri soothed, barely flinching as the doctor examined his arm. "Still here, still your man. But you need to relax. Junior needs you to be nice and calm, ok? I _promise_ you I'm alright."

"You're right, Guardian Belikov. Just a flesh wound. There's a clear in and out and no critical structures hit. I'm going to need to sedate you and clean the wound and place some stitches, but I can't see there being any long-term damage. You were very lucky."

"See Roza? I'll be good as new," Dimitri soothed, looking at my daughter lovingly. "Now how about we get Dr. Olendzki to check you and Junior out?"

"Let's clear the room. I need to see to Guardian Belikov's wound, and then these two need to get some rest," the doctor ordered almost pushing us from the space.

"I'd like to set a guard to make sure they're not disturbed," Pavel said. I knew he was being cautious until the full state of affairs was known.

"I agree. Rose needs to stay calm," I added, with a pointed look in the direction where the trolley had been wheeled.

"Not a problem. No one is to come in or out of here without my express permission," the doctor said to Kirk and Fernandes who had taken up defensive positions flanking the door. "That includes you," she added looking at me suspiciously. "Who are you?"

I lifted my hands in concession.

"I'm Abe Mazur, Belikov's employer. We're here together for Rose's graduation. I'll send someone over with some fresh clothing for them both. I expect they'll be staying overnight?"

"Dr. Olendzki," she greeted shaking my hand. "Yes, I'd like to keep an eye on them tonight."

"Come on Pavel. We have other business to attend to," I said, my voice steely.

* * *

I sat in my office and closed the door. I needed five minutes just to straighten my thoughts. Taking a cleansing breath, I made several calls; to the infirmary, to Ellen Kirova where she was in lockdown with Priscilla Voda, to Mitchell Erskine at Court, to Art Schoenberg and finally to Guardian Alto.

Presently, the Academy was on lockdown. I'd grounded all aircraft from landing or taking off, and the exits had been immediately secured. The graduation ceremony was a complete disaster, and there were numerous panicked families in the commons demanding answers. What a fiasco! I'd just poured myself a coffee when there was a knock at the door.

"It's Art."

"Come in," I said with a sigh.

"How are they?" he asked flopping onto my sofa.

"Both alright. Belikov has a minor flesh wound," I replied, grateful this tragedy wasn't so much worse.

"So what are your plans?" he asked, giving me the opportunity to flesh out my thoughts.

"I'd like to clear the campus as quickly as possible. I've asked Princess Voda to make an address over the PA informing people that it is an isolated, contained event and that there is no ongoing risk. She will ask people to remain in the commons where she and Ellen will stand at the far corner and finish handing out the diplomas. Tonight's graduation dance will be canceled, and I will be requesting the new Guardians' assistance coordinating immediate departures, making sure every seat on every plane, car or van is filled and leaves campus as soon as practicable. I've alerted Court, and Guardian Erskine has said he is happy for you to act on behalf of the Council with his full authority. There'll no doubt need to be a hearing…" I said, looking at the papers in front of me.

"Yes. Yes, there will be," Art said with a sigh.

"I've sent Guardian Alto to get Christian Ozera. Ellen is going to be busy smoothing things with the families, so I was hoping you could be here as a Council Representative when I tell him?"

"Yes. I thought you might," Art said, indicating that's why he was in his formal dress uniform.

There was another knock at the door.

"Guardian Alto with Lord Christian Ozera and Princess Vasilisa Dragomir," Stan announced formally.

"Please, take a seat," I said calmly to Lissa and Christian. "Please wait outside Guardian Alto."

"She's dead, isn't she?" Christian said flatly once the door had closed, looking at me with unwavering eyes.

"I'm afraid so, Lord Ozera," I said using his formal title although all I saw in front of me was a scared young man who'd just lost the last member of his immediate family. Lissa's hands grabbed his supportively.

"What happened? I want to know the details," he said, his voice catching.

"Investigations are still being made," I started, noticing him start to interject, "but as far as we can tell, after your aunt discharged her gun, two Guardians drew and fired on her. We believe they both made potentially fatal shots. At this stage, we're not sure which was ultimately responsible for her demise."

"Both Guardians have been detained, and there'll be a full inquiry by the Guardian's Council and formal charges laid if relevant," Art said seriously.

"Yeah, because the Guardian's Council will charge a Guardian over shooting the crazy sister of a Strigoi," Christian said acrimoniously.

"If there are grounds to, or protocol wasn't followed, then yes, they will be charged and tried," Art said.

"Are Rose and Guardian Belikov alright?" Lissa asked, looking at me nervously.

"They're both in the infirmary. Guardian Belikov stepped in front of Rose, so the bullet hit him, but it was a superficial wound. Rose was not hit, but there's concern about the stress on her and the baby. She's already had high blood pressure, so there's a risk of her going into pre-term labor," I explained.

"They'll be _fine_. They're the ones who caused all this, yet they'll both walk away," Christian snapped.

Lissa looked furious at his words but didn't say anything. She could tell it was his grief speaking.

"She's really gone?" he whispered, looking up at Lissa with tears in his eyes.

"She is, Christian. And I'm so sorry. But she wasn't well, darling. Try and forget these last few months and remember her the way she was when you were growing up."

"I suppose I'll have to organize her funeral?" he murmured.

"We can worry about that tomorrow. Let's go back to my dorm room now before everyone leaves the commons," she suggested.

I nodded.

"I'll place a guard at your door. If you need anything let them know," I said.

"Can I see Rose?" Lissa asked apprehensively.

"Not at the moment. Dr. Olendzki is adamant she needs to be kept calm. She hasn't been told about Tasha, yet."

"Well if you see her tell her I love her," she said sadly, wrapping her arm around her devastated boyfriend and leaving the room escorted by Guardian Alto.

"No matter how many times I have to do that, it never gets any easier," I commented to Art sadly once they'd left. "Now. Let's get everything sorted."

* * *

"Tell her a lawyer is here to offer his services," I said confidently, standing in front of the Guardians who were guarding the holding cells. "Tell her it's Abe Mazur."

"Abe?" Janine gaped as I was shown into a cell with a table and two chairs.

"You can leave us, I am in no danger here," I said to the Guardians who'd escorted me in. "Lawyer-client privilege. My Guardian will stay," I reassured them. "Section eighteen, clause five a," I recited as they were flipping through the guidelines book determining whether someone detained, yet not charged, was permitted legal representation.

"You knew that off the top of your head?" Janine asked in surprise once they'd left.

I grinned.

"No. I looked it up on the way here. So it's been a long time…" I said, looking at a woman I barely knew, yet was tied to in one of the most intimate ways possible.

"Nineteen years almost to the day," she said looking at me with a thousand questions in her eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to see our daughter graduate," I said steadily, watching her reaction.

"So you know. For how long? And is she ok?"

"Yes she's alright, and I found out a few months ago."

"Alberta," Janine muttered to herself. "Does Rosemarie know?"

"No. When I was told, she was in a bad situation. She had no family, no money, her friends had turned their backs on her, and the father was missing presumed turned. She was pregnant and completely alone. While I didn't intend to become personally involved, I had a certain curiosity, so I visited in the guise of a lawyer representing her father. I planned to set her up with a house and an annuity so she wouldn't be forced into anything compromising to support herself and the child."

"And since then?"

"Well, Belikov's reappearance meant the nature of my help needed adjusting," I explained.

"Yes. I saw them all over each other yesterday. How does he fit into this?"

That was unexpected. I didn't appreciate she didn't know.

"Janine? Dimitri is the father of Rose's baby."

"Don't be silly, Abe. Dhampir can't reproduce together."

"Yes well – that's what they thought, too. They didn't realize the changes that occurred when Lissa brought Rose back to life."

"When she _what?!_ Slow the hell down and tell me _everything,_ Abe. _"_

"You didn't know Rose died? In the accident that killed the Dragomirs?"

"No," she whispered looking stricken.

"Well she did, and the Princess Dragomir used a rare ability called spirit to bring her back to life. She healed her to the point where there was not a scratch on her. But as well as healing her injuries, we believe she healed her ability to procreate with another Dhampir."

"I had no idea," Janine gasped. "So what else?"

"Well it looks like Rose and Dimitri fell in love while he was mentoring her, but they didn't act on it until Dimitri was reallocated and sent on a suicide mission. There were five days between him being told and him leaving, and they spent those last few days together."

"And that's when she fell pregnant," Janine grimaced.

"Yes. Neither of them had any idea it was possible. By the time she discovered she was pregnant, he was deployed and then captured by Strigoi. He was believed killed or turned."

"What happened between her and Lissa? And why did Tasha Ozera want her dead?"

"Tasha Ozera had a fixation on Belikov. She wanted him to be her Guardian and also the father of her children. A couple of days after you last spoke with Rose, she told Lissa about the pregnancy, and Lissa didn't believe her about the father. She's dating Tasha Ozera's nephew and believed Tasha's assertions of a relationship between herself and Belikov. Lissa turned her back on Rose, and Christian told his aunt about the paternity of the baby. Tasha came to campus and told everyone about the pregnancy and even tried to attack Rose."

"What a _mess_ ," Janine said running her fingers through her short ginger curls. "So Belikov came back?"

"Yes. Rose was struggling with the news of his capture and had been emailing him almost like a sort of journal. He escaped his captors and made it back to his family. While he was there, he read her emails about the pregnancy. He got the first flights to get back to the Academy to be with her. I ended up giving him a lift from LA to St. Vladimir's when I was coming here myself to meet Rose. He was at the service counter asking for the quickest way to Missoula, and Pavel here spotted his molnija and asked where he was going. I didn't know at the time he was our daughter's lover."

"The Novosibirsk mission?" she queried looking at me shrewdly, quickly putting the pieces together the same as I had.

I nodded, noting her eyes widen.

"It was proving hard to find a new allocation which suited a young man with a family, so I bought a property outside Court and have taken Dimitri on as a private Guardian supervising the permanent force in residence there. He's rebuilding a cottage on site for them all to live in. Tasha set fire to Rose and Dimitri's dorm rooms here at the Academy on Rose's birthday, so since then they've been living on my property, and Rose has been flying in for exams. No one here except Alberta knows exactly where they are, and they've told no one that Rose's father has made contact via his lawyer - me. Tasha had no way of tracking them, so we suspected she'd be at graduation."

"And I shot her," Janine replied.

"Yes. From what I can ascertain three shots were fired. Hers plus two others - your shot, and one made by an Ivashkov Guardian. Both successful."

"She's dead?"

"Instantly."

"What a mess. How's Belikov?"

"He'll be alright. He has a flesh wound on the upper arm, but it's not dangerous."

"And he's sticking by her? And the baby?"

"He took a bullet for her, Janine. He adores her. I'll be the first to admit I was predisposed to think poorly of a man that got his seventeen-year-old student pregnant, but when you see them together - they've got the real deal."

"Yes, but will it _last?_ And what will she do with her life? Be a mother?! _"_

"There are no guarantees in life, but he's been there for her. I'm not sure she's decided what to do going forward, but she's got time to figure it out. Belikov is on the Guardian Council now, and they have a home with me for as long as they want one. She said something about wanting to travel, so in time they might want to spend some time in some of my other homes. I'm a man of very significant means, Janine. I can make whatever she wants happen."

"You sound like you care?" she said, not in a nasty way. More like she was surprised.

"I wouldn't have been ready nineteen years ago. But I like her. I can see myself in her," I chuckled. "I know I wasn't there for all the hard years – but I'm here now, and I want to be part of her life. I might not be much of a father, but I guess I'm better than none at all."

"I'm glad, Abe. I don't know you, and you don't know me. We had what – twelve hours together nearly twenty years ago. But I've always felt guilty about not telling you, and you're right. She deserves some family. I'm glad you can be that for her. I suppose you know I gave her up?"

"Yes, Alberta told me. But you were surprised. Finding out your seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant would be a shock."

"Not then, Abe. I signed her away when she was four. To the Academy. It was too late by the time I realized I was pregnant; I had to continue with the pregnancy. I never wanted to be a mother. I was too young, and I was alone. I wasn't ready to make the sort of sacrifices I needed to. I counted down the days until I could sign her over. I hated having to visit. Every time I'd see or think about her, all I could feel was guilt and shame. So I tried not to think about her. I might have disowned her when she told me she was pregnant, but I haven't considered myself her mother in years." The last words she whispered shamefully.

"Then I'm sorry for you, Janine. You've missed knowing an incredible young woman."

"So Alberta tells me," she said with a sigh.

"It doesn't have to be too late, you know," I said, although it was with misgivings. It was selfish, but I liked being the only parent involved in Rose's life - even if she didn't know I was her father.

"Yes, it is. Belikov read me the riot act the other day. Said I'd done a 'lifetime of damage' and he was right. The kindest thing I can do is go away and stay away."

"She's not a four-year-old anymore, Janine. She deserves the right to decide that."

"She deserves to know the truth about who you are, too," Janine countered.

"I know. I'm just worried that once she knows who I am she won't want me to be a part of her life."

"She deserves the right to decide that," she repeated back to me.

I laughed.

"Well do us a favor and let me be the one to tell her, ok?"

"Shall do. I doubt she'll want to speak with me anyway. So are you really a lawyer, or was that an excuse to get in to see me?"

"I am, although admittedly I don't practice often. I can tell you you're likely to be remanded in custody pending a hearing of the Guardian Council early next week. Off the record, Tasha's done this before, and there's a mountain of Guardian reports about it. She obsessed about Belikov's former charge and after he was killed she transferred her affections to Dimitri. The most likely outcome is you, and the other Guardian will be found to have acted appropriately given the threat, the fact Rose was standing beside Princess Voda and that Tasha fired first. A big point in your favor will be that you were completely unaware of the issue between Rose and Tasha."

"So I'll have to tell the whole Guardian Council I've been a useless mother. Great," she said sarcastically.

"You don't have to go the full hog. Just tell them you had a falling out with Rose when she told you she was pregnant and haven't spoken since. Although – this could be the opportunity to reconcile…?"

"You make it sound so easy," she murmured. "You don't get it. It's not _in_ me to be a typical Mom."

"Then don't _be_ a typical Mom to her. Offer her what you can. It's only as complicated as you make it, Janine."

* * *

"I already know about Tasha," I said to Dr. Olendzki and Alberta when they came to check on us the next morning. Dimitri was still sleeping thanks to the sedative Dr. Olendzki had given him when cleaning and stitching his arm. "And I know Christian blames us. I got sucked into Lissa's head when you told she and Christian," I explained to Alberta.

"How does that make you feel?" Dr. Olendzki probed.

"Relieved," I whispered. "I'm sorry for Christian, and I'm sorry it ended the way it did, but I'm grateful we don't have to live looking over our shoulders. I hope in time Christian knows we didn't want her to die."

I paused for a moment. I did feel sorry she'd died and died how she had.

"How's my blood pressure? Is everything ok with Junior?"

"It's still up a little, but I'm thinking of discharging you anyway. I know you hate being in here, and I suspect you'll be more relaxed back at home and away from all this. How does that sound?" Dr. Olendzki asked.

"Honestly that's a wish come true. I just want to go home and forget this happened. How soon can we leave?"

"I'll check on Dimitri when he wakes, but unless there's something untoward, I'll clear you both to fly immediately. I'll need you to continue with your blood pressure checks every four hours for a week, and I've arranged a trusted colleague at Court to take care of you both. She doesn't know it's a Dhampir/Dhampir pregnancy, but she knows I'm keeping a very close eye on you and that you may choose to deliver here. If you don't, I have no hesitation recommending her if you want to have your baby closer to home."

"I still want to have Junior here," I said straight away. "I can't explain it – it's just where I feel it needs to happen."

"That's fine," Alberta said decisively. "Like I said, this is still your home."

"Thanks, Alberta," I said, reaching out to hug the older woman. I was too embarrassed to tell her one of the reasons I wanted to give birth at St. Vlad's was because she'd be here. But somehow I think she knew.

"So will you be telling everyone where you're based now?" she asked.

"Well… funny you mention that. Did I tell you that for my eighteenth my father gave me a car?!"

"A _car?"_ Alberta gasped. "No!"

"He did! He didn't want me stuck on the property. So I was thinking between when Eddie and Mason arrive at Court and get their allocations, I might surprise them with a visit and drive them out to the property to see where we've ended up. They have _no_ idea where Dimitri's allocated, so it should be a surprise!"

Alberta chuckled.

"Well – if it helps I don't suppose it hurts to tell you that there are three flights scheduled to Court – Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Allocations will be given out at Court on Friday. I could arrange for Castile and Ashford to be on Monday's flight, so you have a few days together?"

"That would be _perfect!_ Thanks, Alberta! Don't let anything slip, though."

"I won't," she promised.

"How's Christian going?" I asked. Since I'd heard what he said about Dimitri and I being responsible for Tasha's death, I'd intentionally kept out of Lissa's head.

"He hasn't said it, but I think part of him is relieved, too. He and Lissa are flying to Minneapolis tomorrow with a complement of Guardians to pack Tasha's home and wrap up her affairs there. They've decided on a quiet burial in Minneapolis with the humans she's spent the last few years living amongst."

It made sense. A Royal Moroi funeral would be hideous, and I knew Christian and Tasha were estranged from the rest of the Ozeras, so almost everyone who was there would be attending out of obligation or morbid curiosity. Better to spare Christian that.

We sat quietly for a moment, Alberta watching as I stroked the hair of my sleeping Russian God.

"This isn't the way I thought I'd finish high school," I muttered, running my other hand across my stomach. "Things have worked out very differently to how I thought."

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans, Rose," Alberta replied sagely as I rested my head against her shoulder.

* * *

-ooOOoo **The End Part Two** ooOOoo-


	57. Summer of Love: Part 1

In the many years that followed, we always referred to those few months after I graduated as our summer of love. The summer when Dimitri showed me his abiding love by building me a home, and at the end of it I by giving him our first child. We didn't realize it at the time, but the foundations of love, friendship, humor, and camaraderie formed in those brief, precious months before two became three were to form the backbone of our lives together and sustained us through the bad times as well as the good.

I was sitting in the courtyard of Abe's house in Turkey watching the sun set. My love sat beside me, his eyes closed, a small smile on his face. He was turning forty in a few weeks. There were strands of gray starting to appear in his dark hair, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes were deeper. But he still looked the same to me. With my lover's eyes, he was still the handsome man who'd swept me off my feet sixteen years ago.

"You're staring Roza," he chuckled, sensing my eyes on him like he always did.

"I am, Comrade," I acknowledged, lifting a lock of my long dark hair and tickling him with it.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, opening an eye and peering at me curiously.

"Our summer of love," I replied in contentment, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes as the memories that seemed like only yesterday played in my mind.

* * *

"Duckie! How are you enjoying court?" I asked as soon as Mase answered his phone.

"Rose! It's good. Eddie and I went shopping yesterday, and today we just hung out."

"Have you had dinner, yet?"

"No, we're about to go and find something now."

"Well... You know how I visited Court with Dimitri when he first came back? I discovered the most _amazing_ place. It's two blocks from where you're staying, and I've organized a surprise for you! Get Eddie and go out of the Guardian accommodations, turn left and walk for a block till the corner of Third and Tarus. Then turn right and walk for a block and it's at the next intersection. It's a pâtisserie. Go inside and ask for the takeaway order under the name Hathaway. It's already paid for."

"It isn't the same without you here, Rose. I always thought we'd be doing this together. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye at the Academy. I tried to come and see you in the infirmary, and they said no one was allowed in. And then the next thing I know you were gone."

"Sorry, Mase. After everything with Tasha… I just needed to get out of there. You'll forgive me once you see this pâtisserie, I promise! Now go get Eddie and _go!_ "

"Alright Hathaway, keep your hair on! I'll call you later."

"Make sure you do, Mase," I said, a smile in my voice.

I was parked on the other side of the intersection from the pâtisserie. It was 8 am, so the start of my day. I'd promised Dimitri I'd only drive solo during daylight, so I'd waited for sunrise before setting out. With my hair up in a cap and a pair of sunglasses on, the guys wouldn't recognize me from this distance.

As instructed, a minute or two later I saw Mason and Eddie approaching. A week ago they'd looked like Novices, but wearing their new uniforms they looked like Guardians now I realized. They entered the pâtisserie without a glance in my direction and minutes later emerged carrying a large white box. They were walking back in the direction of the Guardian quarters when I started the engine, wound down the window and slowly drove up alongside them. Mason was starting to open the box to peer within.

"You know it's bad form to eat a pregnant woman's sweet treats don't you?" I asked as I pulled up. My sweet treats nearly ended up on the sidewalk. Mason squealed in a way that was more girly than Guardian, and Eddie looked at me with amusement.

"Hathaway! What the hell are you doing here? And who'd you steal the car from?" he asked.

I laughed, enjoying their surprise.

"I _live_ here. Well, near here. And the car's mine! Get in – I'm taking you two to my place for dinner! There's so much I haven't told you!" I could see Eddie and Mason's surprise as I confidently drove through Court and to one of the main exits. I signed us out started on the road that led near our place.

"So the car?!" Mase asked looking around him in awe from the passenger seat.

"Was an eighteenth birthday present from my father…"

"You have a father?" Eddie asked in surprise.

"Yes, Castile. Turns out I wasn't an immaculate conception," I joked. "I haven't met him yet, but he sent his lawyer to get in touch with me when he heard I was pregnant. He arrived the day after Dimitri got back. Long story short, it was hard for Dimitri to find an allocation with a girlfriend and a kid on the way and the lawyer was looking for someone to be the live-in commander at a property he bought nearby. So he offered the position to Dimitri. We've been living about twenty minutes outside Court on four and a half acres. Dimitri supervises a team of six Guardians and is helping oversee the property being upgraded. He's also renovating a little cottage on site for us to live in. Because we're a bit out of town, my father wanted me to have a car, so I could get around."

"It still has that new car smell," Eddie admired, while Mason was starting to open the box from the pâtisserie.

"No eating in the car!" I snapped, smacking his hand away. "And no eating my treats!" The three of us laughed. Some things never changed! We chatted as I drove, and before long I was pulling off the road and into our driveway. The place looked so different to how it had when I'd first seen it. The garden had been cleared up and all the debris and old equipment removed. The main house was still being worked on, so there were contractors on site, but for now, most of the work was occurring inside.

The Guardian accommodation block had been renovated inside and out. Dimitri said they were now amongst the nicest Guardian rooms he'd seen; he was proud to offer his team such a pleasant place to call home.

I parked in front of the workshop.

"Dimitri and I live in a little flat above the workshop," I explained, pointing upstairs. "And that's the cottage Dimitri's rebuilding for when Junior arrives," I continued, referring to the cottage a hundred yards away.

I led the way upstairs to the flat.

"It's small, but we don't need much," I said shyly, showing them the place with satisfaction. The bathroom door opened, and Dimitri stepped out, toweling off his hair. He was completely nude.

"Comrade! Eddie and Mason are here – put some clothes on!"

Dimitri looked up and smiled, lowering the towel he was using on his hair to wrap around his hips.

"Hi, guys. Sorry, milaya. I didn't think you'd be back for another half hour," he said walking into our bedroom and closing the door.

I snuck a look at the awed expressions on Mason and Eddie's faces and smirked. I could understand where they were coming from. Dimitri's body was a work of art. Every single bit of it was impressive – including the parts usually hidden beneath his boxers.

"Sorry about that," I said. "Now I hope you guys are hungry because I'm cooking dinner!"

"You? Rose Hathaway, _cook_?" Mase said looking at me suspiciously.

"Yes," I laughed, showing them the table I'd already set. I'd pondered something I could make which would do for breakfast for us, and dinner for them, and had decided on omelets. I'd done the majority of prep before I'd left, so all I had to do was heat the pan and start making them. I'd just flipped the first one onto a plate when my Russian God came out, now dressed, and wrapped his arms around me from behind kissing my temple lovingly.

"How's your arm feeling?" I asked. It was only four days post being shot, and he still had waterproof gauze over the wound and was taking painkillers.

"Better today," he said. "Need a hand?"

"Yep. Can you get the lemonade out? And put the coffee on."

I put a plate in front of Mason, already almost finished making the second omelet which I was cooking for Eddie. "Eat while it's hot," I directed.

"This is _good_ ," Mason enthused in amazement as he ate, and I got similar compliments from Eddie when he started his. Dimitri brought the coffee and lemonade to the table as I served his omelet and then I set about making my own. When we'd finished the hot food, I brought out the selection of pastries from the pâtisserie. Downing those with lemonade for the guys, coffee for Dimitri and me, we took the guys on a tour of our little domain.

Having admired all the upgrades, and listened to Dimitri's plans for the addition of a running track, chicken coup, and orchard, we ended up at the cottage.

"You built all this?" Mason asked Dimitri looking at my Russian God's handiwork.

"He did. There was only an attic and a leaky roof when we got here. And downstairs was a wreck."

"Wow, that's impressive," Eddie said, also surprised.

"It's easy when you're building it for the love of your life," Dimitri told them with uncharacteristic candor.

* * *

I'm fairly sure they would have kept me out had I not walked in with Dimitri and Guardian Schoenberg. I suppose I could have insisted on attending; technically I _was_ a new Guardian waiting for my allocation. But since we all knew I was going to be allocated as 'on maternity leave,' there probably wasn't much point me attending the allocation announcements – except my friends were about to discover their fates.

I sat inconspicuously to the side of the room as my nervous former classmates stood at the front, dressed in their black and whites. I gave Mason an encouraging smile, doing likewise for Eddie, Chelsea, Meredith, Angela and the others who comprised my graduating class. I felt one of those pangs that I should have been standing there with them, but I pushed it away.

And then I cast my eyes towards my Russian God – proud as punch to see him standing beside Art, looking splendid in his new dress uniform, the teal green edging on the collar edge indicating he was a member of the Guardians' Council. Guardian Hans Croft stepped forward, and silence immediately fell across the utilitarian meeting room.

With a minimum of fuss Guardian Croft introduced himself, then Guardian Schoenberg and Dimitri as representatives from the Guardians' Council. There were a few titters and surprised glances at this news. Only the top of the top made it onto the Council. I'd discovered Dimitri was the youngest member by over a decade. Dimitri's part in the Russian mission was still only publicly acknowledged by a tiny symbol on the back of his neck – but it was nice to know that his devotion and service was being recognized in other ways.

"Guardian Ashford," Croft read.

Mason stepped forward looking serene even though I knew he was freaking out.

"You have been allocated to serve, defend and protect Lord Christian Ozera," Croft said, handing him an envelope with particulars of his allocation.

Mason nodded, but I could see a small smile in his eyes. He and Christian weren't besties, but they got along well enough, were of a similar age, and I could see Mason's easy going personality complementing Christian's biting humor. Better still, it meant Mase would get to go to uni – something I knew he'd always hoped for. I gave him a huge grin. It was a good allocation.

I listened to a couple of other allocations and then it was Eddie's.

"Guardian Castile. You have been allocated as second Guardian to serve, defend and protect Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."

I'd had an inkling this might be the case. It made sense. Eddie and Mason worked well together, Eddie and I had topped our year, and with Lissa going to college she'd need at least one Guardian close to her age. Eddie seemed happy enough, giving Mason a quick grin. I felt another pang. It would have been fun for all of us to go to college together. But it wasn't to be. I loved being with Dimitri, too, and I couldn't have it all.

Angela looked disappointed with her allocation to a Voda based in Arizona, and Chelsea only marginally happier with a Badica in California. Meredith was the only one to be given an overseas allocation. She was headed to Bucharest, which seemed surprising until I remembered she was fluent in Romanian and Italian.

Once the allocations had been given, and the formal proceedings finished, people wandered around opening their envelopes and congratulating or commiserating. With a loud whistle, I called everyone to attention, asking them to stand together in a group for a photo. I shot off four or five pictures. A couple serious, a couple not so serious. I was about to release everyone when Dimitri stepped up behind me, telling me to get in the photo.

"I'm not being allocated, Comrade."

"No – but you will be one day if you want to be. And this is your graduating class."

I complied and stood between Eddie and Mason as Dimitri fired off a few more photos. Then there were hugs and best wishes and people dispersed. Some were flying out almost immediately, while others had a few days before they started their duties. Mase and Eddie wouldn't commence until Christian and Lissa returned from Minneapolis. The couple were going via St. Vlad's, their departure having been disrupted by the need to arrange Tasha's funeral and sort her belongings in Minnesota. They were well guarded there by a group of Guardians from St. Vladimir's, so for the next week, Eddie and Mason were left to their own devices.

"Eddie, I know you probably want to spend your last days with Chelsea, but you're both welcome to come hang at the property if you get bored at Court? There are eighteen empty Guardian rooms, so we've got _plenty_ of room," I offered.

They ended up visiting for three days, and we had a ball. Dimitri seemed to appreciate it was the end of an era for us all, so he gave us our space. The guys switched to our human timetable, and we spent a lot of time in my car exploring the countryside surrounding Court. Like me, they enjoyed the human world – so we visited the little townships within driving distance. On their final day visiting, we went to a deceased estate farmyard sale a couple of counties over. Most people were there for the farm equipment, but the contents of the home were being sold off, too.

We ran into my friend Murray from the second-hand store, who walked around with me, letting me know how much to offer for the items I wanted. It's lucky he had his large truck with him, as I ended up buying more than I'd anticipated; a couple of single bedframes, the prettiest dressing table I'd ever seen, a blanket box, a sideboard, some vintage enamel and bakeware and the pièce de résistance – a vintage porch swing.

I wanted to surprise Dimitri with it, so I rang Kirk and explained the situation, getting him to slink over to the cottage to measure the space where I wanted to put the swing. It was a perfect fit, so I bought it for a grand total of $50. Murray proposed if Mase and Eddie loaded his purchases as well as mine into the truck he'd deliver them direct to the property for me; which is how he ended up following in my car down the driveway to park outside the workshop. Dimitri saw us coming and came across to shake Murray's hand.

"What did she buy this time?" he asked with an amused look, dropping his arm affectionately around me.

"Just one or two things," I replied. "Now close your eyes," I demanded, signaling Eddie and Mase to climb into the back of the van and pull down the porch swing, setting it at his feet.

"That's beautiful," Dimitri admired when he opened his eyes. "They don't make things like that anymore, milaya! Look how solid it is! It's going to be perfect on our verandah. I can just see the kids playing on it during the day and us cuddling on it once they've gone to bed…"

" _Kids_?" I laughed, poking Dimitri with my elbow. "Let's see how we cope with _one_ , first!"

* * *

"You have to tell her…"

"Shut up," I grumbled petulantly. Nothing irritated me more than knowing Dimitri was right. "It's just things are so awkward with Christian at the moment. What do I do – ring up and say 'hi – so you know how you had no idea where I live 'cos of your boyfriend's crazy arsed aunt who I just found out my estranged mother shot? Well, guess what – I live close to you guys – we're almost neighbors!' Yeah. That will go over well!"

"Just _call_ her! Use the bond to pick a good time if it helps. Tell her you know about Eddie and Mason's allocations and that they spent a few days visiting us because we live close to Court. It's going to be a lot more awkward if you leave it. Tell her now when she's just arrived back."

I slipped into her mind. She was in a room I didn't recognize unpacking her clothes. Cursing Dimitri, I picked up my phone and dialed before I could dissuade myself.

"Rose!" she said happily, answering my call on the second ring. "You'll never guess where I am and who my Guardians are!"

"You're in your new bedroom at Court, you're unpacking your clothes, and you got Eddie and Christian got Mason?" I teased.

"Ugh!" she groaned. " _Tell_ me you were not in my head again!"

"Only for a second just then to check it was the right time to call," I placated her. "I was at the allocation announcements."

"But they're made at Court?"

"Yeah, about that. Dimitri and I live on a property twenty minutes outside Court, Liss. We're in Pennsylvania."

"Did you move here to be closer to me?" she asked in confusion. I could feel through the bond she wasn't entirely thrilled about that idea.

"No. When Dimitri came to look for a new allocation, there was nothing suitable, so he took a private allocation. He's the commander of six other Guardians on the property of a wealthy Moroi businessman and lawyer. We've lived here since my birthday," I explained. "There's a huge amount I haven't told you, but I wanted you to know where we are. Mason and Eddie actually came and stayed with us for a few days last week."

She sighed, and I could feel tension through the bond.

"This might make things hard. Christian's still not 100% over Tasha's death," she said delicately. "He found out today the Guardians' Council cleared the Ivashkov Guardian and your mother and it's been a real setback for him."

"Yes, I heard," I muttered.

"How did you hear?" she asked sharply. "Are you speaking with your mother again?"

"No. I didn't know until today my mother had anything to do with it," I said truthfully. "The lawyer who represented my mother is Dimitri's employer."

"Dimitri works for Abe Mazur?" Lissa whispered stunned. "He's apparently crooked as they come and _vicious_! You want to be careful Dimitri doesn't get a bad name by association."

"I don't know about that, Liss," I said getting a little cross now. "Abe's been nothing but kindness to Dimitri and me. He offered Dimitri a job so he could work to support us and a home when no one else did."

"Still, people might think less of Dimitri for working for him…"

"Well, he didn't have a lot of choices, did he? Besides I think Dimitri's reputation is _fine_ , thank you. He's on the Guardians' Council himself now. Has been since before graduation."

"He was on the board that dismissed the charges against your mother?" she gasped. "That isn't right!" I could tell through the bond that Lissa was starting to think Christian's paranoid assertions about coverups and conspiracies had some validity.

"He wasn't included in those discussions. Neither of us even knew about my mother's involvement or that the Council had met until Abe told us today. It would have been a conflict of interest, so Dimitri wasn't involved."

"Still it's not right…" Lissa said uncertainly. "Tasha _was_ Moroi."

"What? You think that poor Ivashkov Guardian and my mother should have been tried for shooting Tasha? They should have held their fire until what - she made a second shot? A third? How many times would you have liked Dimitri to be shot before you feel it would be acceptable for someone to take her down?"

"That's not what I meant!" Lissa said.

"Then what _do_ you mean?" I asked hotly.

"I meant that Tasha was Moroi so the royal Council should have been the ones to hold the hearing."

"Take it up with Tatiana, then," I growled. "Maybe next time a crazy-assed Moroi decides to try and shoot a pregnant Dhampir so she can have an imaginary relationship with the Dhampir's boyfriend, Tatiana will change the protocol about how to deal with it?" I snapped, hanging up the phone and angrily tossing it onto our bed.

"Well, that went well," Dimitri commented, an eyebrow lifting in amusement.


	58. Summer of Love: Part 2

"I've never heard of it," I said suspiciously to Dimitri. "Are you _sure_ you're not making it up?!"

He laughed that warm, rich chuckle of his.

"I promise you I'm not, milaya. Romanian Measles is seriously debilitating to Dhampir. Moroi get a little sick, but it's much more severe for Dhampir. It's one of the only things that can really make Dhampir ill. There's been an outbreak at St. Vladimir's and now at Court. I rang your doctor today, and she said we're safest staying on the property without visitors and going to the human town if we need anything. She doesn't want to run the risk of you catching it."

I hardly left the property these days – but now I was told I _couldn't_ , of course, I immediately wanted to.

"How long are we talking?"

"A fortnight at least," Dimitri said with a sigh. "Possibly a month."

"A _month?!_ Stuck here?"

"Well we can go out into the human world, we just can't go near Moroi or other Dhampir until everyone recovers."

"Who do we know who has it?" I asked curiously.

"Pavel does," Dimitri chortled. "I rang Abe, and apparently Pavel is being a big baby about it. Alyce's boy has it too, although a milder case, so she's temporarily moved in over there and has the two of them bundled up together in the TV room at Abe's house in the guest accommodations at Court."

"Won't she get it?"

"You can only get it once, milaya. Like me, Alyce had it as a young child. Celeste rang from her parent's house earlier, and she's been recalled to St. Vlad's, so she won't be making her planned trip to Court next week. She's already had it too, so they need her back at the Academy because half the Guardians are down with it."

"Maybe I've already had it?" I asked hopefully.

"Afraid not," Dimitri said. "I rang St. Vladimir's, and there's no record of you ever having had it. But since you might have had it before you started there, I rang and checked with your mother."

"You spoke with Janine?" I whispered in surprise.

"I did," my Russian God replied, looking at me carefully to gauge my reaction. It had been a month since graduation. Over four months since I told her I was pregnant. And we still hadn't spoken.

"She said you hadn't had it as a child. She stressed how important it was you do not contract it while pregnant. It can be dangerous for the baby."

"Ok," I said shivering. I'd stay quarantined here for a year if it kept Junior safe.

"She'd like to speak with you. She asked me to let you know she'd like it if you called."

"She has a phone too, doesn't she?!" I asked peevishly.

"She does, but she didn't want to spring a phone call on you out of the blue. She said she'd leave the ball in your court."

"What does she want to say?" I asked him. "What did she say to you?"

"Not much. She mostly wanted to know how your pregnancy was going."

"She knows we're together?" I checked. I mean – after what happened at graduation, I'm pretty sure everyone knew Dimitri and I were together.

"Yes."

"And?"

"She just said she hoped I was taking care of you."

"That's it?"

"I know – I was expecting more, too," he admitted. "She sounded hopeful you'd call."

Dimitri knew when to take a step back and leave something with me, so for the next week, he focused on the cottage. Since the shooting, he was working like a man possessed to get the place ready. I wasn't fussed – I knew his arm still bothered him, so if we brought Junior home to the workshop flat it wouldn't be a disaster. We had enough space there.

But my Comrade saw it differently. He wanted our home ready and us in it. With the self-imposed isolation extended to the Guardians too, and things at a standstill for a little while on the big house as Abe was banned from visiting, so couldn't make critical decisions, the guys offered up their time to help with our little home. By the end of the week, the plastering was done, and Dimitri was able to arrange to have the external contractors start early on the final fix.

We were sitting on the porch swing on the verandah watching as my kitchen, bathroom and laundry cabinets were being taken off a truck by human workers and brought into the cottage ready for installation.

"I'll go inside and make sure they put them in the right places," Dimitri murmured, strangely possessive of our little cottage and keen to make sure everything was done perfectly. He said he'd be five minutes, but I knew if I saw him within an hour I'd be doing well.

"No time like the present," I mumbled, picking up my phone and flipping through it until I found my mother's number. It was 9 am, so she'd probably be at the end of her working day.

"Rosemarie," she answered on the second ring sounding surprised.

"Um hi. Dimitri said you wanted me to ring? Is this a good time?"

"It is, can you hang on a moment?" I heard her cover the mouthpiece with her hand and in her usual emotionless tone tell whoever she was with she was clocking off her shift now. "All yours," she continued back on the phone.

"So where are you?" I asked, no idea what to say now we were speaking.

"Baltimore," she replied. "Lord Selzsky has us holed up here because of the Romanian Measles outbreak."

"Yes. Dimitri is the same. He hasn't let any of us leave the property all week."

"Well, he's just looking out for you," she said, a strange tone to her voice. I waited for her to say something more. She's the one who asked me to call.

"He's the father, isn't he?" she blurted out.

"Yes. It's too much to go into over the phone, but he is."

"And you love him?"

"I do."

"How long has it been going on? Obviously while you were still at school?"

"Yes, but nothing really happened until he was reassigned. He was sent on a mission he wasn't expected to return from. We spent the last few days before he left together."

"Well it's none of my business, but I'll glad you're making the best of things together."

"We're both excited and happy. It wasn't the way either of us planned things, but some things are worth changing plans for."

"What does that mean?" she asked defensively. She thought I was having a dig at her, but what I was saying was about _my_ choices, not hers.

"I mean that I never thought I'd fall in love or find anything that meant more to me than being a Guardian. I thought I knew the path I was on, but that's changed. My priorities have changed. It's a bit frightening, but it's wonderful too."

"So will you work as a Guardian? Later on?"

"I'm not sure. It's a risky business, and I'll have a child depending on me. I miss being part of that life, and I was good. Really good. But it's not the sort of job you can half do. I get that now."

"Well things are changing," Janine said sounding mollified. "And you have time on your side."

"I do," I acknowledged. I had no idea why she wanted to speak with me.

"Rosemarie, I know things aren't right between us, and I know that's my fault. I want to try and work on things. I don't think I have it in me to be a proper mother. If I'm honest, it scares me and always has. But if you're willing to try, I thought maybe we could find some sort of way to interact that works for us?"

I stopped to think about what she was saying. She was right. It was too late to try for a mother/daughter relationship. That ship had sailed. But maybe there was an alternative? Maybe if we took the expectations off, it would leave room for something else to develop?

"I'd like that, Janine," I said, my voice only quivering a little. "You can start by calling me Rose."

* * *

"So I thought we could go to the mall today, milaya."

"Really?!"

It had been almost three weeks since the Romanian Measles outbreak, and to say cabin fever had set in would be an understatement. Dimitri had taken me on several country picnics, just to get off the property, but I'd not been anywhere with other _people_ for ages.

"Yes," my Russian God said with a smile. "The cottage is ready to be painted inside. The interior decorator left a list of suggested colors; I thought we'd pick up some sample pots? And we will need some essentials for the baby. A car seat. A pram. A cot. There's probably another week of things to do before we can move in, but we're at the stage where we can start ordering what we need."

Squealing and throwing myself at my man I almost dragged him down the stairs and across to the cottage with a tape measure. He was right – the place was almost done. The cabinets and countertops were in, the utilities connected. The bathrooms needed to be finished off, and I still had taps and a few fittings to choose, but other than the painting and putting in the window coverings, we were pretty much done.

Buying things for the baby was a concession from Dimitri. In Russia, the tradition was to buy nothing for the baby until after it was born. There was no way I was going out shopping with a brand new baby, and I didn't like the idea of Dimitri choosing everything, so we'd agreed to go with the American tradition of setting up the nursery in advance.

For the rest of the cottage, we'd decided we liked vintage furniture, so we'd be doing a lot of the furniture shopping at Murray's. He'd alluring referred to a couple of mammoth sheds where he stored the mountain of stuff he couldn't fit in the shop – so we'd be checking that out before buying much new. But I knew I wanted new beds and sofas; the stairs to the flat being so tricky we'd decided to leave our current ones where they were to furnish the guest space.

Dimitri drove the dual-cab truck in case we needed the tray to bring anything back with us. Equipped with a pen and notepad, I jotted things down as Dimitri listed off what we'd need to look at. Mostly baby stuff, but some hardware things and then general stuff like the beds and sofas.

"That means another bed to break in, Comrade," I observed in a sultry tone, rubbing my hand on my Russian God's inner thigh. He groaned something under his breath in Russian that piqued my interest.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing," he mumbled, the tips of his ears and his neck going red. A sure fire sign my love was embarrassed.

"Tell me. Please?" I asked giving him my best pouty look.

"I just observed that we were well matched sexually."

"It didn't _sound_ like you said that," I noted, his ears getting even redder. "What's the closest translation?"

"That we both like to make love."

"Comrade?!" I said lifting my eyebrows. My lover was almost beetroot with embarrassment now. "Tell me, or I'll ask your mother to translate when she gets here…"

"No!" he gasped in horror. "I said I'm blessed with an angel temptress who likes to fuck as much as I do," he admitted in mortification. Dimitri _never_ swore in English, except when we were having sex.

I slid across the bench seat closer to where my man was driving.

"Yes. Yes, I do," I replied with an indulgent smile, leaning across to give his shoulder a little kiss.

Dimitri drove in embarrassed silence, although I had no idea why he was ashamed. I adored our intimacy, whether it was romantic and loving or more base and animalistic. I didn't care if people knew we were having sex. We were young and in love – I figured people probably realized we were all over each other every chance we got.

Mentioning Olena reminded me I'd be meeting her in person soon. We were nearly halfway through July now, and we'd arranged to leave for St. Vlad's in three weeks time where we'd be meeting Olena as well as the bulk of Abe's Guardians from his other houses. With my due date in six weeks, I knew I should be on weekly doctor visits by now. But with my blood pressure ok and no untoward symptoms, the doctor at Court and Dr. Olendzki agreed it was safer for me to stay at home than risk coming to Court with the measles outbreak still current.

"In six weeks we'll probably have a baby," I murmured to Dimitri, looking up at him in alarm. My little freakouts were becoming more and more frequent, and I saw him suppress a smile as he dropped one of his hands from the steering wheel to stroke my hand reassuringly.

"I'm looking forward to it Roza," he said with such emotion it was impossible not to share his excitement. "We'll need to buy some baby clothes. It's probably easiest to order most online, but we can take a look at some today if you want?" Dimitri had tempted, inadvertently touching on a sore point. Alyce had advised me to hold off buying much until after my baby shower to save doubling up on things for the baby. But with Lissa and I not speaking, and Alyce my only female friend at Court to invite anyway, there wouldn't _be_ any baby shower.

I tried not to let it bother me. Our baby was half Russian, and baby showers weren't done there. But it did upset me that at a time when an expectant mother typically wanted to be around her Mom, female friends, and relatives there was a conspicuous absence of all of the above. I knew it would make Dimitri feel sad and guilty if I mentioned it, so I didn't tell him just how cut-off I felt from the support of other women just now.

Despite my mood, shopping had ended up being fun. We did hardware first, then new furniture for the house. We'd done appliances when we'd ordered the kitchen, so that was one less thing at least. Dimitri took me to lunch, after which we hit the baby store. Abe had told me some time ago my father wanted to pay for the baby's equipment as his present for the new arrival, and that I was to spare no expense. Taking that on board, and using Dimitri's knowledge of what we'd need thanks to his sister, we stocked up big on my father's credit card.

Since we didn't know gender, we bought neutrals, but I picked the linen and nursery décor I wanted for a boy and a girl. The store wrote it all down for me and assured me they'd package whichever was required and deliver it – all I had to do was call and do an over the phone credit card payment when we knew if we had a boy or a girl.

We spent ages in the store looking at all the different options. Dimitri interrogated the assistants for half an hour discussing the finer points of car seat safety, but we were eventually able to settle on a top of the line newborn seat with three bases – one for each of our cars as well as one for the van or to be taken with us when we traveled. We also bought two prams. One a stroller for use in shopping centers, at Court and other flat areas, the other was the pram equivalent of an all-terrain mountain bike. Dimitri and I both liked running, so the hope was after the baby arrived we could take turns pushing the pram as we did our morning laps.

After that, we'd selected the cot, mattress and change table for the nursery, then a range of baby clothes to take to St. Vladimir's with us. Since we didn't want to have to go to Missoula to buy anything while we were there, we bought everything we might need, including bottles and formula – just in case.

There was an amusing moment when the assistants were trying to fit Dimitri with the wearable baby carrier. I'm sure it didn't take _four_ of them to figure out how to fit the straps across his lean, buff chest and back; yet there we were - me sitting in a supremely comfortable but truly ugly glider watching in amusement as my long-suffering Russian God was swarmed by shop assistants eager to help him with the task.

Eventually, Dimitri helped me back into the cab of the loaded truck. Between house stuff and baby stuff, the back was loaded, and I was ready to go home.

"We'll store all this in the workshop until the cottage is finished," Dimitri said, kissing me lovingly as I yawned. At thirty-four weeks pregnant I was getting tired more easily now, so while it was only 4 pm, it had been a busy day, and I was ready for a nap. I was asleep by the time we'd reached home and was barely aware of Dimitri carrying me up the stairs, partially undressing me and putting me into our bed.

"I love you, milaya. I'm always going to love you," he'd whispered before going to put test patches up on the walls of the cottage so they'd be dry for me to inspect in the morning.

* * *

"So are you ready, milaya?" Dimitri asked, a scarf wrapped around my eyes.

"I am." I was trying not to be snarky. I'd spent the last few days at Abe's house at Court with Alyce ordering all the stuff we'd need for the cottage. A similar process to what we'd done with the workshop flat, it was more a matter of working out what we'd leave in the flat and what we'd reorder.

Dimitri had warned he'd be working long hours the next few days, so I'd stayed two nights at Abe's. I'd found it hard to sleep without my Russian God beside me, although truth told, the more pregnant I got, the harder it was to sleep anyway. I'd had a hissy fit the other night when Dimitri had inadvertently moved one of the five pillows I'd made a nest from, thereby ruining my only comfortable sleep position.

With my eyesight impeded, my other senses had taken over. Being led away from the van, I could smell paint, fresh soil and I could hear the sound of sprinklers. There was the crunch of gravel underfoot as Dimitri carefully led me towards the cottage. Over the sound of my pounding heart, I realized this could only mean one thing.

"You've finished the cottage?" I gasped.

"As much as I can without the lady of the house adding her little touches," Dimitri agreed. I could hear the pride in his voice. Stopping me, he stood behind me, wrapping his long, toned arms around my abdomen, stroking my now gargantuan stomach. "This is for the love of my life, and our baby she's carrying," he whispered huskily. "You can look now."

Pulling the scarf from my eyes, I looked in awe at our cottage. The Guardians mustn't have slept in days, because it was done. And it was perfect! They'd painted the outside a pretty white. Contrasting with the darker stain on the deck, it looked fresh and welcoming. The front door was black, and there were black shutters on either side of the windows. My porch swing had some pretty floral cushions and a throw on it, the colors matching the flowers in planters on either side of the front door. The supports and balustrade were in, also white, and there was a side table conveniently placed beside the swing with a pitcher of lemonade and a couple of glasses beside it.

"Oh, Dimitri!" I said, eyes widening in surprise. The place looked amazing.

"Let's look inside," he suggested lovingly, guiding me along the new brick edged gravel path then up the stairs, pointing out the new garden beds surrounding the verandah just waiting for me to decide what I'd like planted in them. Opening the front door, I was stunned to see everything inside and set up. All the furniture we'd bought at Murray's, the stuff we'd ordered in town and even the things Alyce and I had ordered the day before yesterday.

"You mustn't have stopped since I left," I gasped looking around.

"No, we haven't," he said with a weary smile, pointing through the windows to where the Guardians from our property were standing with Abe, Pavel and the interior designer from the main house who'd also helped us choose our colors and fittings. "The guys and I moved it, and Lindsay got all the little extras and arranged things. If you don't like anything, she can change it or take it back."

We walked hand in hand into our small formal lounge, which was joined via an archway into the formal dining.

"Take a look at the table, milaya. Murray called and told me about it. It seats six, but can be extended to seat twelve! I thought it would be good for Christmas? We can push the sofas back and extend it through the archway but the rest of the time keep it set up for six."

It was a brilliant idea, and I told him as much. After that, I admired the finished powder room, laundry and then my open plan meals, kitchen, and living area. Taking up half the downstairs, this area was beautiful and bright. We had a huge country table for eight as well as three massive sofas that could accommodate a similar number. The kitchen was bright and airy with a center counter. The open design was so practical; we'd be able to cook, entertain and supervise Junior all in the one area. The TV was Dimitri's particular joy. He'd confessed that growing up as a child they'd crowded around a tiny portable television, and he'd always wanted a huge one.

"I was thinking maybe come February we could have a party for the Super Bowl?" he said, seeing me look at the TV in amusement. "I'll have built the outdoor space by then, and I know the guys would enjoy ribs and beer and to watch the game…"

"Who are you and what have you done with my anti-social boyfriend?" I laughed, loving the idea of Dimitri bonding with his male friends.

"I just never thought I'd have a house of my own before. Or a girlfriend. Or a child…" He looked so happy it was infectious.

Looking around, I could see all the little things we'd chosen at Murray's and elsewhere, as well as new things like the rug and cushions in the living room. I would _never_ in a million years have picked things so colorful and patterned, but with everything else, it looked phenomenal.

"Who chose the rug?" I asked.

"The designer Lindsay. She came in yesterday morning and suggested where to position the furniture and unpacked all the stuff, and then went to town yesterday afternoon to buy little things to finish it off. She's waiting outside to walk through with you in a moment to discuss what she chose. All the tags are still on, so if you don't like anything, she can take it back."

"So far I love everything!" I said, and I did. It was like everything I dreamed of but on steroids. She'd taken the things we liked and woven them together to make it look like a real home. "Do you like it?"

"It feels like us," he said simply, causing me to smile. "Now come on my love – let's go upstairs!"

We climbed the wide u-shaped stairs, stopping on the landing to admire an enormous frame. It had thirty or forty identical square cutouts, each featuring a black and white photo. There were family, friends, photos of Dimitri and I at various ages, before and after pictures of the cottage and some of us together.

"Lindsay took our photo albums and boards and had this made up," he said, cuddling me from behind as I looked at all the people in the photos. "I know a lot of our loved ones live away," he explained. "I thought this way we'd be able to look at them every day."

"It's perfect," I whisper.

"Some are double or triples," he explained showing me how some of the photos had been repeated. "The idea is we can replace those over time with other photos."

Grasping my hand, he showed me upstairs to our bedroom. Opening the double doors, I understood what Dimitri had meant earlier about feeling like he was home. This couldn't be anyone's bedroom but ours. The twin reading chairs on the left of the bed, the little writing desk and a cradle set up on the right. It was beautiful.

The linen I'd chosen was on the bed, a stunning artwork I hadn't seen before above the bedhead, and a rug in similar tones on the floor. It was straightforward and beautiful and so _us._ Dimitri opened the closets to show me all our clothing had already been brought across.

We walked back to the landing, and I looked into the bathroom, gasping in amazement.

"Comrade?!"

"We moved things around a bit, and there was room," he explained seeing me looking at the large clawfoot bathtub with undisguised longing.

"There was a bath in one of the places we lived in Chicago," I moaned in excitement. "Nowhere else I've ever lived has had one."

"Well now you have one," Dimitri said, dropping a loving kiss on my nose.

We went to one of the bedrooms – the one we'd decided to make the guest room. With a queen-sized bed and comfy reading chairs, it was like a miniature version of our room but decorated in pretty yellow and gray. It would never have picked the colors together, but it worked and was so welcoming.

"Are you ready to see the nursery?"

I nodded. This was the room I'd been wanting to see. Dimitri opened the door, standing back to let me go through first. The first thing I saw was the rocking chair. A cushion had been added, and a soft throw draped over one arm. There was a little bookshelf ready for some books to be added. The cot and change table were set up, and the dormers featured matching built-in window seat toy boxes. There was a plain rug on the floor.

"I knew you'd want to finish this space off yourself," Dimitri explained, spinning to look at me. "Is it what you hoped?" he asked.

"More," I whispered to him. "Everything is so very much more. Thank you, Comrade."

"Anything for you, milaya," he said lovingly, pulling me closer and leaning to kiss me.


	59. Summer of Love: Part 3

Somehow I knew Alberta was going to be at the landing strip to greet us. Usually, at St. Vlad's they'd leave the bus at the runway with the keys in the ignition, but when Dimitri helped me waddle down the stairs of the plane, Alberta was waiting with some Guardian from the junior campus.

"Look at you!" she said with a huge smile on her face, reaching forward to hug me.

"Yeah. Swollen ankles, which happily I can no longer see, and a belly so big it needs its own zip code. Pregnancy is wonderful," I bitched.

"There must be some good bits?" Alberta asked, the corner of her lip twitching.

"Belikov having to rescue Rose from the toilet on the plane was pretty funny," Kirk joked, stepping out of my reach before I could backhand him. "It was too low down, and she couldn't get up without help!"

"Kirk? Was that you volunteering to come back with a van by yourself to move all the baby equipment up to the guest quarters? Well, that's very generous of you," Pavel said giving the younger man a flat stare, reminding him not to antagonize the pregnant maniac e.g. me. Although it had been a good day, so far. Other than the meltdown when I couldn't find anything comfortable to wear, my freak out when I refused to come because I was worried about going to go into labor on the plane, and then getting stuck on the toilet on the plane and sitting there for twenty minutes before I could overcome my pride and call out for Dimitri to help me. I'd only cried twice so far today!

Poor Dimitri was at his wit's end with me. One moment I'd be all over him, wanting love, attention or sometimes some intimate satisfaction – then an hour later I'd be locking myself in the bathroom not wanting to be seen while so enormous and unattractive. I was giving the man whiplash with my mood swings, and he was doing his best not to get cranky with me; even when I decided at 2 am I wanted to organize the nursery differently, only to decide after an hour and a half of him moving the single bed, cot, change table, rocking chair and bookcase into different positions that I liked it best as it initially was.

"Now we've put you in a comfortable room in guest quarters, on the ground floor, so you don't have to climb any stairs. It's as far away from the other rooms as I can make it with so many staying, and I've put Dimitri's mother in the next unit, so you're nice and close but still have your own space," Alberta said kindly. "When's your mother arriving, Dimitri?"

"She's coming in with Abe's Guardians from Omsk tomorrow. They're flying into New York, then on to Chicago and Abe's plane will be bringing them the rest of the way," Dimitri answered in excitement. While he'd seen her a few months ago, it had been for mere hours. I knew my Russian God was eager to see his Mama. I was nervous as hell about meeting her. Who wants to meet their mother-in-law for the first time when they're thirty-seven weeks pregnant?!

"She's going to love you. In fact, she already does," Dimitri reassured me before I'd even opened my mouth. This was far from a new concern, so Dimitri knew the warning signs and headed me off at the pass.

Pretending not to see Dimitri's pleading looked to Alberta, I just went with it when the older Dhampir I all but considered my mother quickly continued, "Now you're welcome to go to the cafeteria or the Guardian's lounge if you want anything. The kitchen said to pop past if you want to collect ingredients to cook. You can order anything you want from their menu, but if you have something specific in mind to eat, they'll do their best to cook it if you give them some warning."

I nodded, just wanting to get into the air-conditioned bus. It must be close to ninety degrees out, and I couldn't cope with the heat.

Because we were in the summer holidays there'd only be a handful of students on campus; orphaned Dhampir or those signed over to the Academy as I'd been. The Academy was running on human time, using the absence of Moroi to accomplish the various maintenance tasks that needed doing, all of which were easier to do in daylight.

"The infirmary is all set up and ready. Dr. Olendzki suggested you rest today, and she'll go through it with you tomorrow, and you can discuss the particulars together," Alberta continued, taking the seat beside me and grasping my hand. I leaned my head against her shoulder closing my eyes as tears started trickling down my cheeks.

"Milaya?" Dimitri asked in loving exasperation.

"I'm just so happy to be back," I murmured, a little embarrassed to say it was more that I was glad to be back with Alberta.

They drove straight to the guest accommodations, and I could tell Alberta had put a lot of thought into the rooms. Ours was at the far end of the corridor – furthest from the gym and the other areas Abe's Guardians would be using for their two and a half week training camp. The master room had a king and a single bed in it. While these days Guardians rarely slept in the same room as their charges, except in situations of extreme danger, it was a good idea here; a couple of times recently Dimitri had come to bed after me only to find me spread out on our large bed leaving no room for him.

I lay on the bed, noticing fresh flowers from the gardens on the side table and a stack of recent women's interest and pregnancy magazines beside the vase. And that made me cry again. Someone had put a lot of thought into making me as comfortable as possible.

"Shh Roza," Dimitri soothed, leaving the suitcase he was unpacking in the closet. He slipped his shoes and socks off, coming to lie next to me on the large bed. He cuddled up behind me, spooning me and whispering loving things into my ear. I didn't know why I was so moody and emotional, although apparently, it was normal in the final few weeks. "Do you want something to eat? A drink? Some sleep?"

"I don't know what I want," I admitted. "Definitely a cuddle," I quickly added as Dimitri moved slightly away from me on the bed.

"It's so hot, I thought I'd strip down," Dimitri said, quickly stepping out of his pants and shirt, and coming back towards the bed only in his boxers.

"Help me get my dress off?" I asked, waiting for him to come around to my side of the bed and give me a hand up. He steadied me as I pulled off my maxi dress and bra, deciding my panties could go, too. Lowering myself back onto the bed, I lay on my side, letting my handsome Russian God spoon me again.

"That feels better doesn't it, milaya?" he crooned softly, cuddling me against his chest, one hand resting possessively on my stomach.

"Hmm," I said picking up his hand and moving it to one of my breasts. " _Now_ I feel better," I replied.

Heeding my unspoken cue, my lover set to work, kissing my neck.

"Do you still find me attractive?" I asked, wondering how my man could still desire me when I was so large and constantly bad tempered.

"Does this answer your question?" he whispered into my ear, pushing the start of his arousal against me.

"Do you have a kinky thing about sex with pregnant women, Comrade?" I giggled, placing my hand on top of his where he was massaging my breast.

"Just you. Only _ever_ you, Roza."

"Damn right!" I murmured, reaching behind me to pull his boxers down. Lifting his hips from the bed he quickly discarded his underwear, leaving nothing to separate us. He entered me almost lazily; as though the lovemaking were secondary to the reassuring, gentle affection we were sharing. Given how unsatisfying my orgasms had been in the last few weeks, another thing the books assured me was normal, it probably _was_ more about the connection for me now.

I knew it was silly - Dimitri had never been more loving or devoted than he had been these last few weeks - but it was as though I needed constant reassurance from him.

By the time we'd enjoyed our lovemaking, and I'd had a little sleep, the heat of the day had passed, and a pleasant breeze had sprung up, so I suggested a stroll around campus. I could tell my man was a little tense; he was worried about meeting the Guardians from Abe's other houses. As the newest commander and the youngest, I knew he felt he had something to prove.

"You're going to do fine, Comrade," I reassured him, reminding myself I wasn't the only one who had a bit on their mind right now. Dimitri was also about to become a parent, he had a lot going on at work with the training camp for the Mazur Guardians, and he had a hormonal out of control girlfriend on his hands. No wonder the poor guy looked tired! I made a mental note to _try_ and be a bit less clingy and crazy and let the poor man do his job over the next few weeks.

* * *

"Mama!" my Russian God said with a massive smile, scooping a surprisingly small woman into his arms and swinging her around. I was almost a little jealous; I'd never seen him so affectionate with anyone like that bar me!

"Dimka!" she said in her thick accent, followed by a string of rapid Russian.

I was sitting in the passenger seat of one of the Academy SUVs, the engine and air-conditioning still running. I wanted to give them their moment together. Abe's plane had come in almost fully loaded, so the Academy bus would need to make two trips, but Dimitri had rightly insisted he'd meet his Mama at the runway and bring her straight back with us.

He'd just put her down and was turning to get her luggage when he saw an ancient woman gingerly climbing down the stairs of the plane, slapping at the young Guardian who was gallantly trying to assist her.

"Babushka?!" Dimitri gasped, clearly stunned.

She answered him in Russian, opening her arms to demand a hug. Complying immediately, I saw his mother shrug and raise her hands in a 'what did you expect me to do' gesture behind the older woman's back.

"Right. Where is she?" I could hear the old woman demand. "I want to meet the woman who stole your heart." I opened the car door and walked across to where Dimitri stood between his mother and grandmother, looking at me apologetically.

"Olena," I greeted nervously, waddling towards my man's mother.

"Oh Rose!" she said lovingly, opening her arms up to me immediately and giving me a huge hug. "May I?" she asked, gesturing to the lump between us that was my belly. I nodded shyly. Dimitri had explained his mother delivered babies in their hometown, and while she wasn't a qualified midwife, poor Dhampir women relied on her expertise – and the local hospital had no qualms about calling her in when they encountered a difficult delivery.

"Baby's a good size," she commented encouragingly. "You're doing a wonderful job."

"Thank you," I said bashfully. We'd spoken over on the phone and Skype often, but it was our first meeting, and I was still apprehensive.

"Let me introduce you to my mother. This is Yeva, my mother, and Dimka's grandmother," Olena said, not taking her hand off my stomach.

I smiled at the wizened woman.

"Pleased to meet you Yeva." If I was scared to meet Olena, I was _terrified_ of her mother!

"Hmph," the older woman grunted, clearly unimpressed. "I am a grandmother and now a great-grandmother three times over. You will call me Babushka like my grandson does," she said imperiously, turning back to her grandson. "Why do you have your pregnant love, your mother and I scalding in this heat? Help us to the car, Dimka!"

Dimitri obediently went to help his grandmother to the SUV, only to be slapped away.

"Help your beloved!" she snapped. "She's heavily pregnant, and it's hot!"

Suitably chastised, my Russian God came over to help me, looking every part the scolded schoolboy.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. "I had _no_ idea she was coming, too."

"It's ok, Comrade," I whispered back as he helped me up into the vehicle. "Now get their luggage before you get in trouble!" I giggled.

In the car, Dimitri took them the most picturesque way to the guest quarters – up the main driveway through the avenue of hundred-year-old trees.

"This is where you grew up?" Olena asked kindly. "It's beautiful."

"I suppose it is," I commented, thinking about it for the first time. "I wanted to escape it for so long. I couldn't wait to leave. But now I have a home of my own, I do find I miss the place."

The unit Alberta had allocated for Olena had two bedrooms, so there was already room for Babushka. Dimitri carried their luggage through to their unit and checked whether they were tired or whether they'd like to catch up. They knew that Dimitri would have to work tomorrow, so they elected to freshen up and join us for a late lunch/early afternoon tea in our unit. I'd rung the kitchen earlier, explaining my mother in law would be arriving that afternoon and I wanted a spread to impress. They'd come up with the goods; fresh date scones, a large platter of mixed sandwiches and another of petit four. The kitchen must have been holding out – I'd never seen them make anything this nice while I was a student here!

Dimitri insisted on making tea, making the strongest brew I'd ever seen with lemon in a teapot and then bringing another pot with boiling water, plus milk and jam. I had no idea what he was doing, but it must be how it was done in his home, as neither his mother or grandmother raised an eyebrow.

We were sitting in the little living room in our unit. Dimitri and I were sitting side by side on the sofa, his mother and grandmother each seated in armchairs. Babushka fell asleep where she was sitting after half an hour, something which must also be normal because neither Olena or Dimitri seemed surprised by it. Olena and Dimitri kept up a constant chatter, the former asking me lots of questions about the pregnancy and our new lives near Court.

We were sitting chatting when there was a knock at the door. I went to rise, but Dimitri stopped me with a single look. Unfolding himself in that graceful way of his, I couldn't help but admire him as he went to the door, one hand on his stake defensively.

"Dimitri!" Abe greeted happily, "I heard your mother and grandmother have arrived safely, so I've come to pay my respects."

Dimitri gestured for Abe and Pavel to enter. Olena looked a little perturbed by the flashy mobster but accepted his greeting cordially. Babushka opened one eye and commented, "He looks like a fox, but smells like a wolf. Join us for tea, Zmey, Pavel." Dimitri blushed, admonishing his grandmother for her rudeness calling Abe by his nickname, reminding her that Abe was his employer and he'd generously transported her here on his plane.

Abe laughed.

"Don't fuss. Your grandmother and I go back a long way, don't we Yeva?" he said, presenting the woman with what looked to be a very expensive bottle of cognac.

"We do," she agreed, reaching into the net bag she carried with her, pulling out a battered tin and passing it to Abe. He opened the tin and looked inside with a huge grin.

"You've always baked the best cookies, Yeva," he acknowledged, shutting the tin and putting it beside his chair.

Dimitri made another pot of tea and brought it to the coffee table, and for the next hour, Abe and Pavel outlined all the many changes Dimitri had made to the property, the security enhancements and the building of the little cottage. I commented where necessary, but mostly Dimitri and I let the older people speak. I excused myself at one point to use the toilet; two cups of tea and a pregnant women's bladder were not conducive to comfort! As I came back into the room, Yeva was laying into Abe about something.

"Better to be slapped by the truth than kissed with a lie," she cautioned.

"I know," Abe said looking unsure of himself. It wasn't a look I was used to seeing on him, but when I looked to Dimitri for an explanation, he just shrugged as if to say my guess was as good as his.

"Roza – we should go check out the infirmary and speak with Dr. Olendzki," Dimitri suggested. "I'll be working from tomorrow, so I'd like to be across all the details for when the baby arrives," he said looking nervous.

"The baby will come when and how the baby comes," Yeva said dismissively. "Nothing any _man_ plans will make any difference."

"I know that Babushka," Dimitri said, exasperation evident in his voice. "But I'll feel a lot better knowing what to expect and how best to support Rose, alright?"

"Mama! Leave him alone. It's _different_ over here. Some men even attend the birth!" Olena exclaimed.

"Silly practice. Birthing is a woman's domain. A man will only get in the way," Yeva maintained.

I looked at my Russian God in alarm. It hadn't occurred to me that he might not be there when I labored.

"Comrade?"

"Of _course_ I'll be there," he said lovingly, pulling me into his manly embrace. "I've already missed enough. I'm not going to miss our little princess arriving."

"Our little prince," I corrected, and we both laughed.

* * *

"You'll be much more comfortable in the water," Celeste tempted. "And you'll be weightless…"

I was tempted. The temperature was tipped to hit ninety today. It was still early in the day, but already you could tell it was going to be scorching. I'd been tossing and turning all night, even with the air conditioner running.

"Alberta has scheduled the Academy Guardians to work down the other end of the campus, and the Mazur Guardians will be in the gym. There'll just be us, although Alberta said she might pop down a little later for a quick swim herself."

"You might not want to, but I will," Yeva said decisively standing from where she'd been sitting in the armchair she'd all but claimed as hers the day before.

"Good for you, Yeva!" Celeste said enthusiastically, her Guardian mask concealing any amusement she might have felt about the idea of Dimitri's elderly grandmother in a swimsuit. If a woman in her seventies were willing to give it a go, I would too.

I slipped into our room, looking at the two swimsuits in front of me. I immediately gravitated to the one piece but appreciated I was going to need help getting in and out of it, besides which I didn't think it would fit. So then I tried the bikini Alyce had insisted I would need and I had to concede she was right. I didn't look too bad. My breasts and legs looked good, and I didn't have any stretch marks thanks to the religious application of vitamin e cream. With my hair in a messy bun I put on some flip-flops, some cherry red lipgloss then grabbing a bag I stuffed it full with a tube of sun cream, a bottle of water, an enormous towel and a stack of magazines. My sunglasses perched on top of my head I was ready to set out. Celeste was right. Some floating in the pool was just what I needed!

Celeste and I waited for Yeva to appear which she did minutes later. Our curiosity regarding her swimsuit would have to wait as she was covered by a large bathrobe. Olena was with her carrying a book but not in a bathing suit.

"I didn't think to bring swimwear," she said a little sadly.

"You can try the one on my bed on if you want Olena?" I suggested. "It has ties at the back so we can tighten it for you, and I've never worn it."

She didn't take much convincing, and in five minutes we were all ready to go; Celeste and me in bikinis, the Belikov women wearing their swimsuits under large bathrobes.

We'd started the short walk to the swim pavilion and were chatting happily when we heard the stomp of feet coming our way. The unmistakable sound of a large group running together. I looked around, but there was nowhere to hide. So putting on my best 'don't fuck with me' attitude, I prepared for the bunch of thirty men who came running around the corner towards us.

I didn't know the runners at the front, but I could see Pavel wasn't far back, and in the middle was my Russian God, easily discernable, as he stood taller than the other runners.

"Hey, Rosie!" Kirk called out as they approached. "You're looking sexy!"

Although he was a few years older than Dimitri, the two guys had developed a friendship over the last few months, Kirk becoming Dimitri's unofficial second. He reminded me quite a bit of Mason, and we'd quickly fallen into a similar jovial mucking around. Of course, his comments weren't particularly welcome right now, especially when they caused the ribald tittering that they did. I could see my Russian God about to break a tooth he was clenching his jaw so tight.

"Bite me, Kirk," I laughed.

"Keep running," Pavel barked to his men, as he slowed down and came over to us.

"Ladies," he acknowledged. "Off to enjoy the pool?"

Yeva said something which I suspect roughly translated to 'no shit, genius' in Russian. Whatever it was, it caused Olena to look horrified and rebuke her mother before apologizing to Pavel.

"I'm sorry for my mother's rudeness," she said in English. "Sometimes she forgets to use her manners."

Pavel chuckled.

"Not at all. She reminds me of my own Babushka," he said with a smile. "Let me know when you're done there for the day. I'll let the Guardians know they're not to go near the pool until you're finished."

Taking his leave with our thanks, we continued to the pool.

"Didn't see anything there that took your fancy?" I teased Celeste. I was under no illusions that all of the admiring glances, bar one, would have been focused on her.

"No," she said in a disgruntled tone.

I looked at her curiously, deciding to wait until there was just the two of us to press her further. The pool area was massive, and as promised we had it to ourselves. Just as well, given Yeva's bathing suit. Or should I say dress? I'd never seen anything like it. Black, and made from cotton, it was the sort of bathing dress I associated with the turn of the century; and not this one – the one before it!

"Mama!" Olena shrieked, covering her mouth with her hand. " _What_ are you wearing?"

"It's my swim suit," Yeva said proudly.

"I'm sorry," Olena said to Celeste and me, doing her best to contain her mirth. "I didn't know she still had that. I haven't seen her wear it since _I_ was a child."

"It's from my days at St. Basil's," Yeva said. Well – that would explain the modesty aspect of it. "I got it when I was Rose's age – and look – it still fits!" she announced proudly.

"Only just," Celeste muttered under her breath. The swimsuit was much tighter than I suspect it was intended to be. To be honest, I was amazed Yeva had managed to get herself into it. Too scared to be caught laughing at the cantankerous old lady, I grabbed Celeste's hand and pulled her over to the stairs muttering under my breath, "Present for Yeva for Christmas? New swimsuit!"

Celeste and I exploded into laughter but covered it by jumping into the refreshing water.

"Ohh! This is so good," I moaned, making my way into the deep end where I fetched the pool noodles floating on the surface. Draping my arms over two, and passing the others to Celeste to do likewise, we floated side by side out of earshot of Olena and Yeva who were paddling in the shallow end. "So… any particular reason you didn't even look at those Guardians sidewise?"

Celeste sighed. "Maybe…"

"Who is he?" I gasped. "Spill!"

"There's nothing to tell," she said looking supremely disappointed about the fact. "You know that night before graduation how you were freaking out about your Mom?'

"Yes?"

"Well, I was on my way over to see you when I bumped into Art. He wanted to see D, so he walked across with me. He complimented me on my role in the trials that afternoon. He was half flirting, or I _think_ he was. It was kind of hard to tell. He looked like he wanted to say something, but we were interrupted. Anyway, before we got to your unit, he asked whether I was coming to Court over the break. He said he'd take a couple of days off to show me around."

"Ohh! How exciting! There's nothing to see at Court – I wonder what he had planned?"

"Well, I didn't get to find out, because I got recalled from leave because of the Romanian Measles, didn't I?"

"How did he take it? I asked. "I mean he would have known it was a genuine reason. That you weren't blowing him off…" I asked.

"He didn't give much away when I rang him. He sounded disappointed, but like he didn't want to make me feel bad."

"Have you spoken to him since?"

"No," she said in a small voice. "I keep trying to come up with a reason, but I don't know if he's interested and I don't want to look as though I'm stalking the guy!"

"But you need to let him know you're interested, Celeste! Or at least that you're thinking of him!"

"How?"

"Well, why don't you go visit your family for Christmas this year instead of them coming to St. Vlad's? That way you could tie in a side trip to Court?"

"Not Christmas. My father spends it with his extended Moroi family. They're ok with Stella because they think he and Mom had her after he'd left his Moroi wife, but they've always been funny about me because I'm older than his Moroi kids. They prefer I don't come for Christmas."

"That's awful," I said, appreciating even in a close family, things could still be stuffed up. "Well, why not spend Christmas with Art at Court?"

"Yeah, I can see that conversation. 'Hi, Art. I think you're really hot and I want to do seriously sexy things with you. I'm not sure if you feel the same way, but would you like to spend Christmas with me? I don't plan to leave bed all day!' Yep. Smooth!" she laughed.

"You could come to ours? And we'll invite Art, too? That way if he isn't interested it's no big deal – you're just two guests at Christmas dinner, and if he is, well…"

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"It will be our first Christmas in our new place, our first Christmas in the same country together and our baby's first Christmas. I need to speak with Dimitri about it, but I was already thinking of inviting Alberta and a few others and making a big deal of it."

"It's been years since I've had a proper Christmas," Celeste said, considering the offer. "But you'll have a new baby. You don't want to be having to organize Christmas, too?"

"All the more reason to have a big Christmas, Celeste. I've never had a Christmas with a family of my own."

Leaving the conversation to continue another time, we paddled back over to the shallow end, Celeste and I taking turns to pump Yeva and Olena for embarrassing stories about Dimitri. It turns out they were numerous


	60. Summer of Love: Part 4

"All Abe's Guardians are having dinner together tonight. Kind of a meet and greet," Dimitri said looking at me carefully. I'd had a sleep after swimming and lunch and felt relatively rested.

"That's a nice idea," I murmured, a little disappointed we'd not be dining together. I'd planned to visit the kitchen for ingredients after a nap, but here it was almost 5 pm, and I had nothing arranged. "I'll take your mother and grandmother across to the cafeteria. It's pasta and pork chops tonight. Not their worst meal by a long shot," I laughed. Like me, Dimitri knew just how bad St. Vlad's meals could get!

"I stopped by Mama's unit on the way here. Babushka is tired and wants to stay in. The kitchen is sending them their meals. I was hoping you'd join me tonight, milaya?"

"At the dinner?"

"Yes."

"But I'll be the only pregnant one there!" I moaned.

"That's because you'll be the only _woman_ there!" he chuckled.

"Not helping, Comrade," I snapped. Looking up, I saw disappointment flicker across my Russian God's face. I moved closer to him, putting my hand against his cheek. "Why do you want me there?"

"There are a few reasons," he mumbled.

"And they are?" I probed, seeing his ears turning red.

"Well, firstly Abe suggested sometime in the future we might like to travel. He said we could stay at some of his other residences in the short term, or I could even command one if you wanted to experience living somewhere for a year or two? Since everyone's here, it's a good chance for them to see you and get to know you."

"That sounds reasonable," I agreed, knowing we hadn't yet got to the real reason. "What else?"

"Abe and Pavel were keen for you to go," he muttered.

"I'm sure they were," I replied noncommittally. "I feel there's more to it...?"

"I want to show you off," he whispered in embarrassment. "You should have heard those guys after they saw you in your bikini today, milaya. They were all ogling you! I want to show them you're _mine!_ "

"Comrade, I'm thirty-seven weeks pregnant! No one was checking me out. They were talking about Celeste."

"You're wrong. I mean, she got a lot of comments, too – but it's you they were interested in. I don't think you have any idea how beautiful you look. I want them all to know you're my girl."

"Don't you trust me?" I asked raising my eyebrows, still pitifully unable to raise either singularly, much to my disgust.

"Of course I do, Roza," he grumbled. "I just don't like listening to other men discuss whether they might have a chance with the woman I love, or imagining what she looks like without her swimsuit on."

"They said that?" I asked in astonishment.

"And worse," Dimitri grumbled. "I know it's wrong, but I want to show you off. You're so beautiful - you could have any man. I want every man to know you chose to give your love to me."

And there it was. The truth.

"I'm sure they know I'm yours. They'd know from Kirk."

"He refused to tell them how he knows you. Half of them think you're with him," Dimitri growled childishly.

"And it's important to you I go tonight?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"Then help me choose a dress," I said smiling at him. He'd had me as soon as he'd said he wanted to show me off. It was a big boost to my fragile self-esteem to know that even heavily pregnant he thought I was beautiful. "I only have one condition…"

My Russian God looked at me warily. "Yes?"

"I want you to present me as Guardian Rose Hathaway."

"What else would I introduce you as?" he asked cautiously, knowing he was in the middle of a minefield, but not sure where the explosives were buried.

"Rose. But I want them to know I'm a Guardian. And I'll be wearing my hair up so they can see I have molnija."

"If it's important to you," he agreed.

"It is."

I slipped on a dark red empire line dress. It was feminine and looked gorgeous with my garnet pendant. I even wore a pair of heels although they were a little chunkier and lower than I'd usually wear. I put my hair up into a messy, wispy bun I knew Dimitri liked, and also donned some natural makeup. Dimitri was standing in our room in jeans and a lightweight sweater when I came out of the bathroom. He was so sexy it wasn't funny! I'd slowly replaced the casual clothing he'd lost during the mission to Russia. Dimitri had always focused on function rather than fashion, and while the clothes I'd selected weren't expensive, they'd been bought by a woman who wanted him to look his best.

"You look handsome, Comrade," I complimented. Just because he was a man didn't mean he didn't need to be to be told I found him attractive.

"You look beautiful, Roza," he replied. "I wish we could stay in tonight, just the two of us…"

"Maybe we can leave early. I _am_ very pregnant; everyone will believe it if I say I'm tired," I suggested cheekily. I cuddled into my man's embrace. Being back at the Academy had helped my mood a lot, as had spending time with Celeste, his Mama, and even Yeva. Olena had been every bit as lovely in person as she had been on the phone, although I'd copped a scolding for not telling them the minute I knew I was pregnant. She was very demonstrative and affectionate with me, which was taking some getting used to – although I did like it.

Walking hand in hand through the campus was pleasant. The sun had gone down, but with the night lighting on it was still bright enough. It wasn't until we were almost there that I realized the room we were going to was part of the hall where graduation had been held. Where Dimitri had been shot.

"She's gone milaya," Dimitri whispered reassuringly, brushing his lips against mine before holding the door open for me. I stepped through, feeling forty sets of eyes look up from four tables of ten. Crap. We must be late.

"Ahh, Dimitri, Rose," Abe said, standing to greet us both. He kissed both my cheeks and then shook Dimitri's hand. He walked back to the table, holding out the seat to his left for me. Dimitri sat beside me, giving me a supportive smile.

Almost as soon as we were seated, our entrées appeared. Alternate drop, Dimitri got medallions of beef in a red wine jus with steamed veg and colcannon. It looked mouth watering. I got seared salmon on carrot and asparagus spears served with a potato rutabaga gruyere gratin. I'm sure it tasted fine, but it didn't look like much compared to Dimitri's meal. Before I knew it, Dimitri had reached in front of me, exchanging my plate with his own.

"It's ok; I'll eat the fish," I offered unconvincingly.

Dimitri laughed.

"Don't be silly. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you saw the beef."

"It _does_ look good," I conceded. "I'll save you a bite," I promised.

The one advantage of eating at the Academy – even when they were doing fancy food, they understood a Dhampir-sized appetite. Everyone here, bar Abe and I, had been exercising heavily all day. They needed filling substantial meals. The beef medallions were every bit as good as they looked. I was ravenous but had to remind myself to eat slowly, lest I get indigestion.

"Is the fish good?" I asked Dimitri guiltily.

"It's is, milaya," he assured me, scooping a mouthful on his fork and offering it for me to try.

"Hmm – that _is_ nice," I admitted. Loading my fork, I served him a mouthful of my meal.

"That's good too," he said his eyes meeting mine and giving me a loaded look.

We looked up to see numerous curious eyes looking at us. I flushed and turned to speak with Abe, although I did rub Dimitri's thigh under the table, smiling when I felt his huge manly hand squeeze mine. Abe and I ate and chatted, Dimitri conversing with a Guardian on his other side. Finally, everyone had finished their entrée except me.

"Rose, would you mind if we started our presentation while you finish your food? Each of the commanders is going to introduce themselves, do a five-minute presentation on their location, present their Guardians and discuss their priorities in their area."

"That's fine, Abe. I'm sorry I'm taking so long. I'm really hungry, but if I eat too quickly, I get heartburn," I explained apologetically. I hadn't known my man was going to make a presentation. I knew public speaking was not his thing, but I was convinced he'd do a good job.

"You're alright," Abe assured me. "Please take your time."

On Abe's signal, Pavel stood up and explained the commanders would each be making a presentation about their location. The commander from Moscow was first, introducing himself as a thirty-eight-year-old Blood Master Three in charge of eight Guardians at that location. He used a data projector and iPad to show photos of the large four-story double-fronted townhouse that was Abe's home in Moscow. He introduced his team and outlined their current top priority as the formation of a cooperative area patrol with several other prominent private Guardian groupings in the immediate vicinity of the property, citing increased safety and efficiency.

After polite applause, the commander from Omsk spoke, followed by the commander from Istanbul then the commander from Paris.

"You own a place in Paris?" I hissed in awe at Abe.

"I own more houses than this," he said with pride. "These are just the locations where I keep a permanent force. The other homes I bring Guardians from my closest location when I visit," he explained. Finally, it was my Russian God's turn. I'd finished my entrée, and the plate had been removed, so I was able to give him my full attention. Knowing my lover so well, I could tell he was nervous, but no one else would have picked it.

Standing beside me, Dimitri introduced himself in the same manner as the other commanders; age, rank, and location. I heard surprised rumblings from those assembled when he mentioned his age and rank, but that was to be expected. He _was_ very young to hold the position he did. However, the surprised rumblings at his age were nothing compared to when he introduced his team, ending with me.

"Finally Guardian Rose Hathaway; my partner currently on maternity leave," he said taking my hand in his. While he hadn't said I was employed by Abe, he hadn't clarified I _wasn't_. But I think they got the picture I wasn't his _guarding_ partner!

At four and a half acres, the Pennsylvania property was easily Abe's largest. Dimitri outlined their current focus of making improvements and liaising with human contractors preparing it for Abe's inhabitation, as well as explaining that once ready, this property would be used for large scale entertaining and the challenges that presented. The Guardians were especially interested in the improved Guardian accommodations, noting the queen-sized beds, ensuite bathrooms, large recreation area and well-appointed gym. Dimitri also described the running track to be added to the inside of the ward line.

"What are those outbuildings?" a Guardian from Omsk asked referring to a picture of the Guardian accommodations with the workshop and the cottage in the background.

Dimitri fiddled with the iPad bringing up before and after pictures of the workshop and cottage.

"The first is the workshop which will be converted back into a garage for the Guardian vehicles sometime next year once a new workshop is built. Above is a two-bedroom flat that has been prepared for visitors. The second building is the former caretaker's cottage. It was falling down, so has been extensively renovated and remodeled. That's where Guardian Hathaway and I live."

He said it boldly as if daring anyone to have an issue with it. I could see Abe sitting impassively beside me, but a quick glance at Pavel saw him looking around his Guardians astutely. Guardians tended to be a pretty level-headed bunch, but they were also generally young men and sometimes jealousies flared. Appearing satisfied with what he saw, Pavel nodded to Abe who stood up and ran through some practical announcements regarding the next fortnight at St. Vlad's and then announced mains were served.

Mains looked every bit as good as the entrées. Chicken breasts in a Dijon mustard cream reduction with seasonal veg or Moroccan slow-cooked lamb shanks with chic peas and spiced couscous. I looked at them both avariciously; unable to decide which I wanted.

"They both look good. Why don't we switch halfway through?" Dimitri suggested, ever the pragmatist.

"That's just one more reason I love you," I teased Dimitri, stunning the thirty-something Guardian sitting opposite us. Casual declarations of love between Guardians were rare.

"Because I understand I'll always come second to food?" Dimitri teased.

"Especially at the moment," I grinned, patting my stomach and looking at the chicken breasts in front of me.

"So Guardian Hathaway – when is your child due?" the Guardian opposite me asked curiously.

"The due date is in three weeks time, although I am desperate to go early. Being heavily pregnant is not very comfortable," I said pleasantly.

"So where will you have the baby?" he asked in confusion.

"Here. I grew up at St. Vladimir's, Guardian…?"

"Tekin."

"As I was saying, Guardian Tekin, I grew up here, and the doctor on staff has known me since I was four. When Dimitri mentioned the training camp being held here around the time of my due date, it seemed the perfect opportunity to come back and have our baby here."

I could see the 'our' hadn't gone unnoticed, but I didn't care. Since we intended to give Junior Dimitri's surname, people might as well get used to the idea.

"And then we'll have our youngest ever Mazur Guardian," Abe said with a big smile, silencing any further discussion.

* * *

"Abe's Moscow house was beautiful," I commented as Dimitri helped me unzip my dress.

"It was," my Russian God acknowledged, dropping a kiss onto the nape of my neck. "Did you enjoy the dinner?"

"I did, although I think my eyes were larger than my stomach," I admitted ruefully. "Those profiteroles nearly did me in!"

Dimitri laughed, unclasping my bra and taking it off before rubbing my sore breasts.

"They're feeling really heavy," I groaned.

"Maybe that means you're going to go early?" Dimitri suggested hopefully. I knew he, like me, was impatient to meet our little one.

"I wish," I groaned. "Your Mama said it definitely wouldn't be this week. But maybe she's wrong?"

"She isn't usually," Dimitri said apologetically.

I sighed theatrically.

"Oh well. Gives me more time to spend with Celeste and Alberta. Speaking of which, I thought I'd like to invite them to a big Christmas this year at the cottage. Last year's Christmas was horrible. I missed you so much, and I was so scared when I found out about Junior. This year I want the full deal. A huge Christmas tree, _lots_ of presents, lots of food and all our friends!"

"That sounds perfect, milaya. Let's do it," Dimitri indulgently agreed.

"Thank you," I replied, spinning in his arms and kissing him gently. I climbed into bed, waiting for my Russian God to climb in beside me. I rolled towards him closing my eyes and nuzzling at his chest in the darkness. "You were very sexy speaking tonight," I cooed. "Commanding and powerful."

"It was nothing," he said, but in his voice, I could tell he was pleased with my assessment.

"I'm so lucky to have such a strong, imposing man as the father of my baby. I just wish I'd been the first to fall pregnant with your child. I understand, and I'm not _too_ jealous…"

I felt Dimitri stiffen in my arms.

"What do you mean, milaya? You _are_ the first woman to carry my child!"

"You don't need to lie, Comrade," I said, the lack of light concealing my grin. "Babushka told me about it, and it's ok. I'm not angry; just a little disappointed."

Dimitri sat up, switching on his lamp. Sitting naked in the lamplight he looked like the God he was. Appearing worried he took my hands in his.

"Rosemarie Hathaway. You are the only woman for me. I've never expected a child with anyone else, nor would I want to. I promise you, milaya – this is a first for both of us!"

"Then tell me about Ksenia," I whispered, looking at the sheets so he wouldn't see the telltale mirth in the depths of my eyes.

"Ksenia? Ksenia who?!"

"Ksenia. Karo's Ksenia."

Dimitri looked confused, and then a string of Russian escaped his lips.

"She told you about that?" he groaned. "When?"

"When we were swimming today," I said still feigning innocence.

"And I suppose Celeste heard it, too?" he checked.

"Yes – she was there," I confirmed.

"I can't believe she told you," he moaned. "What did she say?"

"That I wasn't the first to expect your baby. That I should ask you about Karo's Ksenia."

Dimitri pulled me into his taut arms, setting me on his lap.

"I swear she loves to embarrass me," he muttered. "Roza, Ksenia is a _doll_. Karolina's doll when she was little. You know Karolina is two and a half years older than me? Well, when I was seven, and she was nine and a half she decided to tell me about how babies are made. She was a bit light on the details, but she told me that if a man laid on top of a woman, nine and a half months later the woman would have a baby. She used two of her dolls to demonstrate. Mama was expecting Viktoria at the time, so I was curious.

"The next morning I woke up, and Karolina had left her old doll on my bed. I'd slept on top of it and was worried that even though it was a doll, it might still get pregnant. I asked Karo, and she assured me it would be and because I'd slept on it all night, there would be many babies and I'd get in _huge_ trouble. I was stressing out big time, so I asked Babushka if a boy slept on top of a girl would she get pregnant. She assured me it was the truth, so I panicked. I hid around the house for two days crying before Mama could convince me to tell her what was wrong."

"Aww my poor Comrade," I cooed, stroking his face. "So you _didn't_ get your sex doll pregnant?"

"It wasn't a _sex_ doll!" Dimitri snapped in mortification, his face bright red. "And I didn't _do_ anything with it! It was a rag doll, and I didn't even know it was still on my bed until the next morning! Surely Babushka mentioned that?!"

"She might have…" I admitted, dissolving into laughter.

"And Celeste heard all this?" he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Yes," I giggled, "but don't worry – I'm sure she won't remember."

"What makes you so sure of that?" he grumbled.

"Because some of the other stories she told us were _so_ much more embarrassing!" I giggled.

* * *

Dimitri was already gone by the time I woke the next morning. It wasn't yet 8 am, so I went next door to Olena and Yeva's rooms to see if they'd breakfasted. When I discovered they hadn't, I suggested we visit the cafeteria together.

It was nice walking around the campus with them, pointing out the features of the place where I grew up. The route I chose took me past the Novice dorm block, and looking up I could see black soot surrounding what had been my dorm room window. The drainpipe I'd used to climb the side of the building was a charred, twisted mess now. I pointed it out as my room nonetheless.

"I hope she's found peace," I muttered, still uncomfortable about everything that had happened. Before Tasha knew about Dimitri and me, she'd been nice. I didn't dare bring it up around my man, but I felt hugely guilty – especially about that day in the gym when I'd taunted her about how good Dimitri was in bed. I'd known she was hurting, and it was a childish thing to do.

"Don't blame yourself, child," Babushka said, seeing my shiver as I looked up at what had been my room. "Things were never going to end well for Tasha."

"Still…" I said.

"Move on," Yeva ordered. "No one blames you."

"That's where you're wrong. Christian does. Lissa, too."

"Not really," she said. "They know where the blame lies."

"Maybe. But things can never go back to the way things were," I said sadly.

"No," she said sagely. "But would you want them to? You're doing it with your mother; time to create a relationship with your bondmate that works for you both, too. You need to repair that relationship. The time will come when you need it."

I didn't know what she meant, so I didn't say anything. I hadn't spoken with Yeva or Olena about Janine and me trying to find common ground, and I'm sure Dimitri hadn't either. My Russian God was right. Sometimes the old woman knew too much – especially when she was right.


	61. Summer of Love: Part 5

"I can't tell you how much I've missed you guys," I said, trying to hide my sentimental smile as I poured tea for Alberta and Celeste. We were sitting in the little living room of our rooms in guest quarters and were about to have afternoon tea.

"I want to see all the cute little things you've bought for the baby. I can't believe it was nine years ago when I was pregnant and buying for Stella," Celeste said nostalgically. Alberta's eyes met mine. It's the first time Celeste had mentioned Stella being hers in front of us. We both knew she was Stella's Mom, but it was still a surprise to hear Celeste acknowledge it.

"Did you know she was a girl?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah. Mom and Dad wanted to find out so they could prepare. I didn't mind – it was fun buying cute little outfits for her," she said with a sigh.

"I haven't bought a lot," I admitted. "Since we don't know the gender I've just got the basics in neutrals. I'll go online and order more when I know whether we've got a bluey or a pinky," I smiled.

"Ha!" Celeste scoffed. "You'll hit the shops for sure. You'll be wanting to show the baby off to _everyone_. Did you get nice things at your baby shower?"

"I didn't have one," I said, quickly turning away to get the plate of biscuits from the kitchenette and bring them over to the coffee table.

"You didn't have a baby shower?" Alberta said, looking at me askance.

"Well Lissa and I are not speaking, that's not Janine's sort of thing, all the girls I know from St. Vlad's have been allocated away, and I've only made one female friend at Court. It doesn't matter. In Russia, they don't buy things for the baby until after it's born, so I guess we're doing things the Russian way," I said with an attempt at joviality.

Alberta's lips pursed, but she said nothing, instead sipping her cup of tea. I knew she thought this was just one more instance where Janine had let me down. I'll admit, at first I'd been disappointed to miss what seemed like a rite of passage, but I was ok with it now. Dimitri and I were Guardians, and baby showers didn't exist in a Guardians' world because the vast majority never got the opportunity to become parents.

"I meant to ask, are you, Olena, and Yeva coming on the shopping day? I've allocated three seats on the bus for you," Alberta queried, changing the subject.

The Guardian shopping day. I used to _live_ for these when I was a Novice. Once a year, always over the summer holidays when only those who lived at the Academy were around, they'd get a charter bus to Missoula. The orphaned kids and a lot of the Guardians who lived on campus would go. We'd leave early to get to the mall at store opening and spend all day there. We'd break into small groups and shop or go to the movies or whatever else then gather for dinner at Pizza Ranch before heading home to arrive before the sun set. It was always a huge day, but I was keen to go, and I knew Olena and Yeva had a long shopping list for the girls back home.

"Wouldn't miss it!" I said enthusiastically.

"You sure you'll be ok?" Celeste checked. "There'll be a lot of walking."

"I'll hire one of those motorized scooters at the mall if I need to," I joked. "I'll be with Yeva and Olena – they'll keep an eye on me. Besides Olena's told me I have at least another week before the baby arrives. The bus does have a toilet, doesn't it?" I asked nervously.

"Yes. I made sure I booked one with a toilet," Alberta laughed. "Just don't get stuck on it!"

"Shut up," I grumbled good-naturedly, quickly filling in Celeste about the embarrassing situation on the plane where I got stuck in the lavatory.

The next few days passed quickly. I was spending most of my time with Olena, Yeva, Celeste, and Alberta. For some reason, Yeva had taken a real shine to Celeste, encouraging her to join us as we sat around the unit nattering. Olena had been showing me how to cook the Russian dishes Dimitri loved. Every day after training he'd come back to the rooms in guest quarters to find a home-cooked Russian meal. Olena maintained with such a large family she couldn't cook small, so every night we'd have Celeste, Abe, Pavel or Alberta join us for dinner or a combination thereof.

It was funny seeing Olena and Alberta together. While on the surface they seemed so different, they were both affectionate; spoiling and fussing over me like crazy. I was happy, and I knew Dimitri was too. He was enjoying working with Abe's Guardians, and he was getting helpful ideas for his role from the other commanders. But nothing made him happier than coming in to find me spending time with his mother and grandmother.

"I love seeing you here, part of my family," he whispered into my ear one evening, as I was about to help serve dinner. "Although I suppose one of these days I might need to make that official…" I shivered. Was Dimitri hinting at what I _thought_ he might be? I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"What are you trying to say, Comrade?" It came out sharper than I'd intended, but he had me rattled.

"Nothing right now, milaya," he said, taking in my spooked look. "Just something to think about maybe?" I nodded in the 'I'll think about it' way, not the 'I do' sort of way, then took the vegetables to the table.

Later that night I was lying in bed cuddled up in Dimitri's arms.

"Does the idea scare you?" he whispered out of the blue. "Or is it something you don't want to do?" He sounded nervous.

He didn't need to explain what he was talking about.

"It does scare me a little," I whispered back. "I mean once you came back and with Junior, I always figured we would one day…"

"But you're not ready for that day quite yet?"

"Yeah. With graduating and moving and the baby a lot is changing. I need some time to find myself again before I commit to another change."

"You feel you don't know yourself well enough to know you if you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" he asked, hurt radiating from every word.

"I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Comrade," I placated, rubbing little circles on his back in the soothing way he liked. "It's just my life was on one path. I was going to be Lissa's Guardian and spend my life defending her. Then we fell in love, and I fell pregnant, and I thought I'd be parenting alone, then you were back, and the stuff with Tasha went down, and suddenly we were starting a new life on the other side of the country. It's been a lot – I just want to catch my breath and focus on finding my way again. I know wherever I go is going to be with you, but I feel I need to know where I want to go before I agree to going there with you for the rest of my life." A piece of Rose-logic at its finest.

My Russian God was silent for a minute.

"So you're not saying no, you're saying you want some time?" he finally clarified.

"That's right," I said, stroking his face. "I'm your Roza, and you're my Comrade. That's _never_ going to change. And when the time is right, I'll be Mrs. Belikova. Just not yet."

"Ok. Yes, but not yet. I can live with that," he grumbled.

"Besides, I want to get back in shape and not be breastfeeding when we get married. If we're going to have a _real_ honeymoon, and I want to, we need to be able to leave Junior at least for a day or two."

"Hmm… Tell me more about this honeymoon," Dimitri urged. "Where would we go? What would we do?"

"No idea on the where, but I can give you a little taste of the _what_ if you'd like?!" I teased, running my hand down his chest and putting my hand suggestively on his manhood.

* * *

I woke up with the hugest grin on my face. For the first time in ages, the sex planets must have aligned because I had not one but two earth-shattering releases last night. While Dimitri never failed to bring me to climax, he knew they hadn't been as satisfying recently, so he was grinning, too. Two honest to goodness shout the house down orgasms, and I felt I could take on the world. Which was fortuitous, as today was the Guardian shopping day.

"Is there anything you need, Comrade?" I checked. "I'll be at the shops all day, so I have plenty of time to look for things for you."

"I'm all right, Roza," he said lovingly. "What are you going to buy, anyway?"

"Celeste wants to go baby clothes shopping with me, and there are a few small things I thought I'd get for the house. Mostly I'll be helping your Mama and Babushka get things for the girls. Their list is so long I think they might need to send a shipping container to hold it all!"

"Try not to let them go overboard," he said, but I could tell he wasn't too worried. If anything he was pleased that there was now enough money for everyone to be spoiled a little.

Olena and Dimitri had discussed money over dinner the other night, and Abe was arranging to have the principal carefully invested. With the new SUV, that thanks to Abe's shady connections was now legitimately registered in Olena's name, and their modest home upgraded with a few additional comforts, the interest would be more than sufficient for the family's needs. Any money they didn't spend would roll back into the capital to work even harder for them. Abe had also suggested a complicated family trust setup that would see the money grow to benefit Olena's kids and eventually even the grandkids.

I dressed in a super comfy maxi dress and my most sensible pair of shoes. If I was going to be on my feet all day, I planned to be comfortable. My Russian God walked his family and me across to where the bus would be pulling up outside the Guardian quarters. He stood holding me lovingly; his large hands splayed across my tummy.

"Belikov. Hathaway. Nice to see you back on campus." Stan Alto. The Guardian I'd loved to hate but with whom I'd eventually formed an uneasy truce. "When's the baby due?"

"Hopefully in two weeks," I said, "but it could be as much as four," I answered.

"Pray for two," Dimitri said with a cheeky grin. "I'm not sure either of us could cope waiting another month!"

Stan surprised me with a smile.

"My oldest sister is like that every time. She has five and is expecting her sixth any day now. She says the last fortnight takes about two years."

I looked at Stan in shock. He'd never divulged anything personal about himself to me before.

"You're an uncle to five?"

"Pffft," he said dismissively with a huge grin. "I'm a proud uncle to _fourteen_ , soon to be sixteen! I have four sisters. They have; five going on six, four going on five, two and three kids respectively. They just about bankrupt me at Christmas time. In fact, I'm going to choose some of their Christmas presents today."

I couldn't imagine Stan a doting uncle, but then I'd never seen the fond look on his face he was wearing right now, either.

"Do you see them often?" I asked.

"Not often enough," he acknowledged sadly. "Although my oldest nephew Josh started here as a Guardian just after you left. He graduated the same time you did."

I looked over to where a young man my age stood nearby; watching our conversation but too nervous to introduce himself into it. He was tall and lanky and much like a colt; he looked as though he were still growing into his limbs. Stan gestured him over and introduced us.

"Guardians Hathaway, Belikov," Josh said in awe. "We heard so much about you both at St. Leonard's. The guys could hardly believe me when I told them Uncle Stan was one of your main teachers, Guardian Hathaway. He told us about you killing three Strigoi in a fight alongside Guardian Schoenberg. It's hard to believe you're the same age as me!"

I looked at Stan and saw him looking embarrassed. His nephew apparently idolized him and Dimitri and I as well. My eyes met Dimitri's, and I knew it was time to repay some of the kindnesses Stan had afforded me in the time Dimitri was missing.

"Nice to meet you, Guardian Alto Junior," I said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll do well here at St. Vlad's. Your uncle is a skilled Guardian and an excellent educator. We've always had a particular understanding, and I learned a great deal from him." Stan gave me a smile. Sure I'd embroidered the truth, but there was no point belittling the guy now. I could almost feel Dimitri's pride radiating from him like warmth from a benevolent sun.

"Uncle Stan? Can you take a photo of me with Guardians Hathaway and Belikov?" he asked, also looking to us for approval. "I want to send proof to the guys from St. Len's!"

"Why don't we get someone else to take it so your uncle can be in it, too?" I suggested, quickly co-opting Celeste to the task.

"Not the belly," I murmured as I took the young Guardian's phone and handed it to her. Celeste understood immediately; I didn't like photos of me looking so huge. The four of us stood in a row; Stan, Dimitri, myself and Josh. Celeste snapped a couple of pictures and handed the phone back to its skittish owner.

"Thanks, Guardian Hathaway! Guardian Belikov!" The guy looked at us like we were the coolest people in the universe. I chuckled to myself, leaning up to give my loving man a kiss.

"You know, no matter how many times I see you two doing that, it's still weird," Alto mumbled, "although looking back now it seems so obvious. Did you guys ever even train?" he joked. Dimitri's relaxed demeanor disappeared, and he looked as though he was about to explode at Stan's suggestion.

"Alto, we didn't do anything until after Dimitri had been reallocated. No matter how we felt, Dimitri was too honorable to do anything while he was my mentor." I gave Stan a level look so he could tell I was serious and that he was pissing Dimitri off. "Of course, once he was no longer my mentor, all bets were off!" I said with a naughty little smile on my face.

I could see my Russian God was supremely uncomfortable discussing the timing of when we became lovers. Even now I was eighteen, and we were days away from having a baby together, he still felt guilty about lusting after me when I was his seventeen-year-old student.

"What does it matter now?" Stan said appeasingly. "You guys are made for each other. Anyone can see that." Stan walked over to chat with his nephew, leaving an irritated Dimitri behind him.

"He's right, Comrade. It doesn't matter anymore." He still looked tense and annoyed, so I used my number one distraction technique. "You know, I was thinking after Christmas, we should come back to visit the Academy again and maybe ask Alberta to babysit for the afternoon? We could go back to that outdoor spa again? That was such a glorious afternoon…"

"It was," Dimitri acknowledged, a little smile on his face. "I _love_ the idea of going back there."

* * *

"Every part of me aches," I moaned as Dimitri helped me down from the bus. It was about half an hour before sunset, and we were back from the shopping trip to Missoula.

"Are there many parcels?"

"Quite a few," I admitted. Despite me saying I wasn't going to buy much, I'd bought a lot more than I'd anticipated. Of course, Olena and Yeva had shopped up big; Dimitri had the Guardians from Pennsylvania help move the parcels back to our rooms.

"Are they all yours?" Dimitri asked, looking at the mass of parcels I'd indicated as mine.

"Yeah. Most of them are Christmas presents, but I got a birthday pressies for Sonya and Paul, too. There were some good sales on, and I thought if I bought and wrapped things now, we could send the ones for Russia back with your Mama."

Dimitri looked at me suspiciously. He'd correctly pegged me as the last minute type of present shopper. But Stan's Christmas talk had reminded me I'd have a four-month-old then, and probably wouldn't be in the mood for struggling through the crowds, so since I was being dragged around the shops, I thought I might as well kill two birds with one stone. Back in the unit, I went through the presents as Dimitri rubbed my sore, swollen feet. Jeans for each of his sisters for Christmas; console games for Paul for his birthday and Christmas; a couple of tops for Sonya's birthday; dresses for Zoya and Katya; a swimsuit for Yeva; a soft alpaca fleece knit sweater for his Mama; the same thing in a different shade for Alberta; an ombre woolen scarf for Abe, and some sexy lingerie for Celeste.

"Hmm… I like these!" Dimitri had said raising his eyebrows in appreciation when he saw the very brief thong and babydoll in the Victoria's Secret bag.

"Get your paws off those – I bought them for Celeste," I said, laughing as I saw him quickly drop the sheer lacey fabric and shove the bag to one side.

I'd also bought a few things we needed for the house as well as some birthday and Christmas presents for Dimitri; western books; a new pair of his favorite cut of jeans; some new sunglasses as his were pretty scratched up; a button-up woolen jacket and a couple of kids picture books about loving their Papa. I'd no doubt buy more pressies between now and his birthday, but at least I knew I had _something_ put aside.

"Did you buy _anything_ for yourself, milaya?" Dimitri asked tenderly. I looked around me, my brow furrowed as I thought about my purchases.

"Only lunch," I said, confirming his suspicions.

"Roza! You spoil everyone else but forget to spoil you," he admonished.

"I don't need anything," I explained. "I know it's still early, but I'm sore and tired. Do you think you could come to bed and cuddle until I fall asleep?" He did, and it wasn't long before I was out like a light.

I woke sometime later to find Dimitri's side of the bed empty. The bedroom lights were out and the door mostly shut, but he was in the living room, and I could hear him talking. There was only his voice, so he must be on the phone.

"… no, I don't like keeping things from her. Our relationship is built on trust… if you're certain. I don't want anything upsetting her… I'm not really sure how she'll feel about that… She hasn't mentioned anything… Ok, I'll take your word for it – I won't say anything."

I crept back to bed, pretending to be asleep. A minute or so later my man came to bed, slipping under the blanket and embracing me. I pretended to wake up then and got up to go to the toilet. I returned to the bed and accepted my Russian God's kiss goodnight, letting him hold me as he fell asleep. I lay on my side for hours, tears of worry and betrayal sliding down my cheeks. I can't believe Dimitri was willingly keeping something from me. Something big, by the sounds of it. He was right – our relationship _was_ built on trust and honesty, and now I had reason to doubt his.


	62. Summer of Love: Part 6

The next morning I was all puffy eyed, and Dimitri was worried.

"Milaya? What's wrong?" he asked with concern, seeing my face as I stood up to go to the bathroom.

"Nothing," I mumbled, pushing past him and going into the bathroom, carefully locking the door behind me so he wouldn't follow. I could hear him rattling the handle in frustration. I knew a flimsy lock wouldn't keep him out if he were determined to get in, but the rattling stopped; he'd obviously decided to wait me out.

Consequently, I spent a long time in the shower. I shampooed and conditioned my hair, shaved my underarms and what I could reach of my legs. And then I stood and cried for fifteen minutes before finally stepping out and toweling down. Grabbing my vitamin e cream, and taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and walked to the bedroom. Dimitri followed and sat down on the bed watching me warily.

"Roza? Is something bothering you?" he asked.

"No," I said, refusing to meet his eyes.

"It's just you look upset. Why don't we have a little cuddle and you tell me what's worrying you?" he coaxed.

"I'm putting on my cream," I said dismissively, moving out of his reach when he moved his hands towards me. I sat on the bed, slathering vitamin e over my belly, breasts, thighs and then standing up to also do my bottom. I could feel Dimitri's eyes on me, but I paid him no heed – moving about my tasks quickly and efficiently. I slipped on my bra, some panties, and pulled on a dress. My shoes were on my feet, and my keys in my hand, before Dimitri appreciated I was leaving. I walked straight out of our unit and knocked at Olena and Yeva's door.

"Please? Roza tell me what I've done wrong? I'm sorry, and I love you," he implored as his mother opened the door.

"I told you I'm _fine!_ " I growled, stepping into Olena's arms and promptly erupting in tears.

Olena cuddled me tightly, stroking my hair and mumbling soothing things to me in Russian. I instantly felt calmer, although the irony that it was the same way Dimitri calmed me was not lost on me.

Dimitri was talking to Olena in their native tongue, although the only words I recognized were Mama and Roza. I don't know what she said to him, but after a moment I heard him say, "I love you, Roza," in a defeated tone before he closed the door and left. That caused another torrent of tears.

"Mama? Make some tea for Rose," Olena instructed, leading me over to their sofa. For once Yeva was quiet, obediently moving into their kitchenette to start the brew. She was still in her nightdress – something I suspect she might also have had since her St. Basil's days. I made a mental note to buy her some new ones for her birthday. That's if Dimitri and I were still together then.

Olena gave me a few minutes to compose myself, looking as though having a hysterical daughter-in-law arrive before breakfast was a commonplace occurrence. Yeva brought the tea over and sat it to steep on the side table, seating herself in an armchair and pulling out knitting from her ever-present net bag. Olena disappeared into one of the bedrooms, coming out a few minutes later dressed for the day. She poured three cups of tea, passing one to me and taking a sip of her own.

"Rose? What's wrong?" she asked kindly.

"Dimitri's hiding something from me," I wailed. "I heard him on the phone when I got up to go the toilet last night. He said he didn't want to keep something from me, that he wasn't sure how I'd feel about something, but he wouldn't say anything about it. He sounded like he knew I wouldn't like whatever he was hiding, but he agreed to hide it anyway! We're meant to be having a baby together in two weeks - how can I do that if I can't trust him?!"

"You'll be having the baby either way," Babushka pointed out, earning herself an exasperated mouthful in Russian from Olena.

"Rose, is there something specific you think he might be hiding from you?" Olena probed.

"Not that I can think of," I sniffled.

"Do you think he'd withhold something _important_ from you?"

I thought about it. He did tell me he didn't return my feelings after Victor's lust charm, but since then he'd shared everything with me – even things he could easily have concealed, such as Galina's sexual advances on him.

"I don't _think_ so," I said cautiously. "But he might withhold something from me if he thought it was in my best interest."

"Do you trust his judgment?"

"Most of the time," I admitted.

"Do you think he'd knowingly upset you?"

"No. He wouldn't."

"So you're upset that he's not telling you about something that's almost certainly unimportant to protect you?"

"It sounds silly when you say it that way," I mumbled, sure there was a flaw in her argument somewhere, but too weary to try and figure out what it was.

"I know Dimka is feeling very protective of you at the moment. He rang Alberta twice during the bus ride home to make sure you were well and would be home before sunset."

"Yeah, because I wouldn't be safe on a bus with what, _thirty_ Guardians?!"

"Men can get a little overprotective when the woman they love is going to give birth soon," she assured me. "It's their way of dealing with their anxiety and showing how much they care. Give him the benefit of the doubt – you said yourself he'd never knowingly upset you."

I heard the wisdom in her words then there was a knock at the door. Olena opened it to Dimitri who was carrying a large tray in his hands plus a basket hanging from one arm. Setting everything down on the table, he quickly unpacked; breakfast for four.

"What would you like, Roza?" he asked, showing me the variety of food he'd collected. "Would you like a hot breakfast?"

I nodded shyly, letting him load a plate for me. We all moved to sit at the table, Dimitri placing a generous serve of toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, wilted spinach and grilled tomato in front of me. I smiled at the wilted spinach. I'd never tried it before I fell pregnant, but Dimitri suggested I give it a go one day and I'd surprised myself by loving it. Dimitri was always on my case about healthy eating, so he wasted no opportunity to load me up with the stuff every morning.

"Thank you, Comrade," I said quietly, looking up at him a little sheepishly.

"My pleasure, milaya," he said lovingly, leaning cautiously forward to brush his lips against mine.

I ate slowly, listening to Dimitri chatting with Olena and Yeva. I could see his loving looks in my direction, so I looked up and gave him a little smile. I was full and feeling much happier, now, although I knew I'd be famished again in an hour or so. My metabolism had gone nuts with the pregnancy, but with Junior now almost full size, my stomach capacity was smaller. So I was a living, breathing eating machine. Dimitri even kept a fully stocked fruit bowl on my bedside for when I got hungry in the night!

"I have the day off, is there anything you'd like to do, Roza?" Dimitri asked tenderly. He seemed to appreciate the crisis was past, but he wasn't taking any chances.

"I didn't sleep well; I might try and get a little more rest," I replied, wanting to be in his arms, but too shy to ask him to waste a few hours of his morning off sleeping next to me.

"I'm tired from a week of constant workouts," he replied. "Mind if I join you?"

I smiled, grasping his hand and shaking my head to tell him I didn't mind.

"Mama? Babushka? Leave all this – I'll take it back up later on. Roza and I are going to have a sleep."

Back in our room, Dimitri helped me out of my dress, bra, and panties. I got so uncomfortable so easily, and tossed and turned so much I never wore anything in bed. Following suit, Dimitri disrobed and lay on his side of the bed. He opened his arms to me hopefully, and I obligingly wiggled backward into his embrace. His skin against mine was comforting, as was the way he nuzzled into my hair until his lips found my neck. I loved falling asleep with the feeling of his breath against my skin, his strong hands caressing my bump. He was softly humming a tune; he'd told me in the past it was a children's lullaby. I drifted off feeling safe, reminding myself that Dimitri had gone through hell and back to come home to me and he wouldn't risk all that by keeping something big from me.

My Russian God was still asleep when I woke. I lay there and watched him for a while. He was beyond handsome; he was beautiful. His smooth, hairless chest, his rock hard pecs, and abs, the sculpted muscles of his arms; all beautiful! Looking further down, I admired the v of his hips, his happy trail, his manhood lying proudly amongst the patch of hair at his crotch, his thighs in their magnificence. It's a pity Dimitri's legs were always covered, and that I was the only one to get to see how faultless they were. The man was perfect and without blemish. At least he had been until he took a bullet for me.

He was lying on his right side, and I lightly fingered the small scar on his left arm. Six inches more and I would have lost him. Hell – even an inch more and the bullet could have hit bone or a major artery. He could have lost his arm, or worse. At the time, everyone had told us how lucky he had been, not realizing that scared me even more – the knowledge that the only reason I still had him was _luck_.

The panic started to rise as it always did when I let my thoughts wander in that direction. I didn't realize I was making little whimpering noises until I felt Dimitri reach for me, cradling me against him. Even half asleep the man's first instinct was to protect me; even if it was from my thoughts!

"Milaya?" his sleepy voice queried. His eyes fluttered open, and he noticed my fingers still on the scar on his arm. "I'm here, Roza. I'm not going anywhere," he soothed, immediately deducing the cause of my distress. I nodded, burying my face against his chest. God knows how the poor guy was still here and putting up with me – my moods and tears were shitting even _me_!

"It's nearly 11, milaya," Dimitri said, looking at the clock and springing out of bed. "Quick – put some clothes on and let's go for a walk."

"I don't want to go for a walk," I groaned. Truth be told I _had_ overdone it yesterday; my hips were aching and there was a heaviness in my pelvis which hadn't been there a couple of days ago.

"Come on. I need to return the breakfast stuff to the kitchens, and we can see if there are any doughnuts left…"

I humphed in an undignified way, allowing Dimitri to help me back into my bra before he came around to my side of the bed and lifted each ankle, sliding on my underwear.

"Bet a year ago you didn't think you'd be helping your whale of a girlfriend into her panties," I muttered.

Dimitri stopped and looked at me, a peculiar expression on his face.

"No," he said slowly, "A year ago I was in New Mexico following up a lead about you and Lissa."

It was a stark reminder of how quickly this had all happened.

"New Mexico? Bet you loved that," I teased.

"Well there wasn't much time to sightsee," my Russian God laughed, "but I did have a chance to buy a belt buckle." I smiled. I'd seen it in his drawer. There's another idea for his birthday – I'd get a belt made for it so he could wear it.

Helping me to my feet, Dimitri lifted my dress pulling it over my shoulders and smoothing it over my hips.

"To think there was a day when I could kick your ass," I moaned, remembering the day Alberta had told him of his reallocation. I'd taken him down that day. And he'd kissed me senseless.

"You will again soon, Roza," he promised. "I've been doing research, and I've already devised a training program to strengthen the muscles and then build up your stamina and strength again. A lot of muscles will have stretched and changed, and your pelvis will probably be weak at first. You can't go too hard too fast as you'll risk injuring yourself, but the good news is with some careful work you'll be back in form in no time, and your hips will be much more flexible."

"How long?" I asked. He knew I meant how long until I was back to myself again.

"Hard to say. A lot will depend on how the birth goes," he admitted. "I want you to see a physio regularly after the birth so we know what we can safely work on."

"And here I thought your days of training me were over," I sighed.

"I want us always to train together, Roza," he said wrapping his arms around my waist. "I've missed you in the gym these last few weeks."

I smiled. I'd missed our gym sessions, too. I had no idea how I'd manage them with a new baby, but Dimitri was right – training together was our thing, so we'd make it work. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked tired and pale, so I threw on some lip gloss and a little mascara. That was better!

I followed Dimitri from our rooms to those where his mother and grandmother were staying. They weren't in, but the basket had been repacked with the empty breakfast dishes and was sitting beside the front door, so Dimitri picked it up, and we walked hand in hand to the kitchen. After disposing of that, he gave me a tender kiss before asking if I felt like going in search of a chocolate doughnut. But for some reason, I didn't. Dimitri stopped short and looked at me in surprise and almost alarm.

"But you _always_ feel like a doughnut?" he stated in shock.

"Yeah, well; not today."

"Well I wouldn't mind one," Dimitri said. "Let's get one and then we can go sit by the lake."

I shrugged. The idea of my health-conscious Dimitri ingesting that much sugar in one hit was amusing, so I went with it.

It was quiet in the administration building. It was a beautiful day out, and only a couple of weeks before students were due back on campus – everyone was no doubt enjoying the sunshine. Dimitri opened the door to the Guardian Lounge, as always holding the door for me.

"SURPRISE!"

The lights had been out, but Dimitri had switched them on – to reveal the Guardians' Lounge redone into a _baby shower!_ There were pink and blue helium balloons floating across the ceiling, an enormous white cake with a pair of sugar baby booties on top and a table _packed_ full of wrapped presents.

Alberta stepped forward, wearing a pair of gray pants and a surprisingly feminine long sweater. Beside her was Celeste, also dressed in casual clothes; jeans and a short sleeved button up shirt. In fact, looking around there wasn't a uniform in sight! It was a motley crew in front of me; a lot of Guardians I'd grown up with at the Academy, Abe, Pavel and the Pennsylvanian Guardians from the property, Dr. Olendzki, Dimitri's family and _EDDIE AND MASON!_

"Icantbelieveyoutwoarehere!" I screamed, waddling over as quickly as I could and throwing myself into Mason's arms, then Eddie's.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Rosie," Mase said, looking at my now very pregnant form in awe. We spoke on the phone regularly, but it had been a month or so since he'd seen me. "You're freaking huge!" I whacked his arm, perhaps a little more vigorously than I needed to. "And can still throw a decent punch, too," he added, rubbing his arm in pain.

"When? How?" I stammered.

"Alberta organized it. She rang and spoke with Lissa. I don't know what she said, but ten minutes after she got off the phone, we were both given a twenty-four-hour leave pass and told to get ourselves to the runway at Court in an hour's time. There was a plane waiting, and here we are. We're here for the night and returning tomorrow," Eddie explained.

"Lissa is devastated she couldn't make it," Mason said. "The Queen has her helping at some royal function, and with such short notice she couldn't get out of it – but she sent presents," he said, pointing to two white boxes with pink and blue ribbons that couldn't have come from anyone else. If present wrapping became an Olympic sport, Lissa Dragomir would be America's reigning champion. These were ornate, even for her. I knew it was her version of an olive branch and I sighed, knowing I'd have to ring and thank her. I mean, I still loved her – I just hoped we could make our way to some happy place where we weren't perennially walking on eggshells around one another. I looked at Dimitri where he was standing beside me.

"Is this what you were hiding from me?"

"Hiding from you?" he asked in confusion.

"I heard you on the phone before you came to bed last night," I confessed.

"Oh _milaya_ ," he said rolling his eyes. "Is that why you were upset? I was talking to Alberta – she was asking me to stay quiet about Eddie and Mason's visit and to bring you here at eleven today."

I looked across to where Olena and Yeva sat smiling, and everything fell into place.

"Your Mama and Babushka knew, didn't they?"

"They did," he said apologetically.

"And you let me carry on like an idiot," I moaned, so embarrassed.

"Not at all," he said, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me soundly. "We just all love you enough to want to surprise you." We pulled away when we heard the Guardians around us cheering.

"If you can take your hands off her, Belikov, we need to seat Rose in the place of honor!" Alberta demanded with a smile, steering me across the room to sit in a large comfortable chair. I looked to get Dimitri to follow, but Celeste had cornered him, asking him questions and jotting the answers down on a pad.

Olena came over and gave me a big hug.

"I hope you've forgiven him now?" she said with an indulgent smile. I nodded, returning her hug.

"Mase? Eddie? Come over here," I ordered, introducing them to Olena and Yeva. Then the guys grabbed chairs and pulled them over near me, and the fun and games started.

I'd never been to a baby shower before, so I didn't know what to expect, but it started with silly games.

"Right – thanks all for coming today. We're here to celebrate Hathaway becoming a _Mom_. Now as frightening a thought as that is, we can all take comfort in the fact there'll be six and a half feet of solid muscle who'll do his best to keep Rose and the baby under control," Stan Alto said, gesturing to a red-faced but smiling Dimitri.

"Now… I know some of you guys here fancy yourselves as ladies men, and today you get to put that theory to the test. I need four male volunteers for the first game, please… Josh? Please prepare the equipment. Belikov, stay here – you're required for this, too."

I giggled. Other than the Belikov women, Dr. Olendzki, Alberta, Celeste, two other female Guardians and myself, it was _all_ men present.

"Go on Eddie," Mase said, pushing him up out of his chair.

"Fine, but you, too!" Eddie said, grabbing Mason's forearm and pulling him to his feet. Another couple of Guardians I knew stepped up as well.

"Right!" Alto said with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "The first game is called 'find the nipple'…"

He waited for the laughing to subside, which took a while because once it started to quieten, Alberta shouted out threateningly, "You promised me these games were going to be _tasteful_ , Alto!"

He put up his hand laughing.

"I'll keep it clean, I promise," he said, but I could see Alberta looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"Gents, you'll be playing it off against Belikov here to see who can get the most ti…. I mean who can accumulate the most _nipples_ ," he said, holding in his hand a silicone rubber teat – the type that goes on a baby's bottle. I had to hand it to Alto; his comedy timing was perfect. He was walking the fine line between being suggestive but not crude, and he was doing it perfectly.

"Now I can understand your concern, gentlemen. Belikov here does look like the sort who might be an expert at finding the nipple," he gave a knowing lewd wink here, "but I'm sure you fine young men will be able to give him a run for his money! So – you need to kneel down in front of these buckets, with your hands clasped behind your back, and collect as many nipples as you can _using only your mouth!"_

The rest of the group erupted in laughter. This promised to be hysterically funny, and even Alberta looked appeased.

"The winner is the man who collects the most nipples. He gets to claim a kiss from our lady of honor," Stan said with an exaggerated flourish in my direction. "The losers get to be my little helpers for the rest of the baby shower."

There were five buckets of water, each with about thirty nipples in it. Stan supervised, lining Eddie, Mase, Dimitri and the other two Guardians on their knees, keeping up his witty repartee the entire time. "You can start as soon as the music does, and finish when it does."

Stan pulled a remote from his pocket and started the music. Justin Bieber's 'Baby.' There were several groans, but the guys at the buckets were going for it! Dimitri was grabbing two or three nipples with each go, spitting them onto the floor beside him before rapidly returning to the bucket for another mouthful. Eddie was bobbing up and doing collecting them one by one. Mase was trying to grab several at once like Dimitri, but with limited success. The other two Guardians were trying a combination of both techniques.

The music stopped, and Josh went bucket-to-bucket counting the number of remaining nipples while Stan continued his suggestive but good-natured comments.

"Well the count is in, and it's official. Gents I'm going to tell you what I suspect the ladies present already knew. Belikov here is capable of getting the most nipples! But look at the guy – are any of you surprised?! Congrats, Dimitri – you can go and claim your kiss," he smiled as there was laughter and whistles at my Russian God's sheepish look.

"My hero," I whispered, giving him a long lingering kiss.

"Well I wasn't going to let anyone else win that prize, was I?" he murmured against my lips.

Josh set to tidying up the buckets while Stan announced the next game.

"Next up I'll be handing around envelopes, two for each of you. You need to put a single in each envelope and seal them. On the front of one I want you to write the date and time you think the baby will be born, and on the other the birth weight. Now – to make this fair, you can know that the estimated due date is the twenty-seventh of August, and Rose herself was just on seven pounds when she was born."

"Yeah but how much did Belikov weigh?" a Guardian from the junior campus called out. There was an awkward pause. As far as almost everyone here knew, Dhampir couldn't reproduce together. So what Dimitri weighed _should_ be irrelevant.

"He was ten pound three, and I was in labor for thirty-three hours," Olena piped up. "Thank you for reminding me of that," she joked. And with that, the awkward moment passed. Ten-pound-fricken-three? How did I not know that? I looked at Olena in alarm. She smiled and leaned over, "Your bub isn't as big as Dimka was," she promised quietly so only I could hear.

"Once you're done, the envelopes will go into these containers, and Alberta will keep them safe. When the baby is born, the closest in time gets to keep those envelopes, same with the weight. In the case of a tie, the money will be split," Stan explained.

There was a lot of laughing and joking as people made their predictions, then Stan directed Eddie and Mason to go around collecting the envelopes.

"I put ten pounds, and a week over," Mason joked as he passed me.

"I hate you," I growled. Going past my due date or having such a huge baby _wasn't_ what I wanted to think about.

"I said two days early and eight and a half pounds," Eddie piped up.

"See – that's why he gets the girls, Mase," I teased. "He knows what a woman wants to hear!"

"Yeah, yeah," Mason laughed, giving Eddie a shove with his shoulder.

"You're just pissed because I get more titties than you do," Eddie joked.

I rolled my eyes. Those two were hopeless.

After the envelopes had been collected, there was a break for lunch. The kitchen had made little sandwiches, cupcakes decorated in blue and pink, platters of petit four, as well as scones with jam and cream, punch, tea, coffee and there was even non-alcoholic champagne. It all looked delicious, and true to his word; Stan had Eddie, Mason and the other two Guardians acting as waiters, moving around offering the food and drink.

I was halfway through eating when Celeste coopted me, pulling me aside into a corner with a notepad, asking me questions about my hopes for Junior, explaining it was for the next game.

When she was done, she returned me to the chair of honor to sit next to Alberta.

"Are you having fun?" she asked.

"So much fun!" I said. "Did you organize this?"

"Celeste and I," she said nodding. "We thought it was awful you didn't get a baby shower. Although Alto had most of the ideas. It turns out he's been to more baby showers than the rest of us put together!"

"He's doing a great job. I never thought he could be so funny," I admitted. "Thank you for getting Eddie and Mason here. That's the icing on the cake!"

"You can thank Abe and Lissa for that. Abe made his plane available to transport them, and as soon as she heard it was your baby shower, Lissa insisted on giving them leave to attend. She was so disappointed not to be able to come herself. She's feeling awful about the things she said when you last spoke. She asked me to let you know she knows she was out of line and she'd like to apologize."

"I'll give her a call this afternoon or tomorrow," I promised, not wanting to bring myself down by thinking about that now.

Abe chose that moment to come over and say hello.

"I have to say this is the best baby shower I've ever been to!" he said with a big smile.

"Let me guess, Abe – it's the _only_ baby shower you've ever been to?!" I quipped.

"Well. That, too!" he admitted. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

I could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes.

"I am. Thank you for bringing Mason and Eddie here," I said, giving him a big hug. Well as well as I could with a huge belly in my way. "It means the world to have them here."

"My pleasure," Abe said looking pleased. "I had no idea what a new baby would need, but I thought Mom might need her friends."

"I do," I said with a smile.

Stan dismissed his helpers to eat and drink before calling the crowd to attention.

"This next game is called Mom and Dad secrets… Now I know there's a lot of secrets we'd like to know about Rose and Belikov…" he started, earning himself a dirty look from Alberta, "but for this game we've asked them the same questions and you have to guess which answer each gave. Rose? Belikov? Can you two come sit here?"

Celeste had to help me up from my chair, causing raucous amusement. I walked to the chairs in the middle of the room, Dimitri helping me lower myself on to one.

"Now I don't mind telling you this game was tricky. We had twenty-five questions, but they answered most of them the same, so these are the five questions they answered differently to one another. The first question: Do you want a boy or a girl. One replied boy, the other answered girl. Who thinks Rose wants a girl?"

I looked around. None of my closest friends had their hands up, but almost everyone else did.

"Dimitri?" Stan asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Rose wants a boy, I want a girl," he said with a smile, "and we haven't found out," he clarified. Josh had an attendance list and was marking off who had guessed correctly.

"The second question: We asked about how they anticipated baby's temperament. One answered placid; the other answered mischievous. Who thinks Belikov said mischievous?"

Almost all the hands went up, and I could hear some comments about apples not falling far from trees. Since most didn't know Dimitri was _really_ the Dad, that meant they were talking about me!

"Rose?" Stan asked.

"I said mischievous," I laughed. "Come on – it's my baby how could it not be?!"

There were lots of titters and laughs at that.

"You tell 'em, Rosie," Mason called out.

"Shut it, _Duckie_ ," I replied.

"Yes thank you Guardian Quackford," Stan said, and I knew at that moment he would forever be Quackford to Alto. I think Mase knew it, too, because he flushed as red as his hair.

"The third question: the attribute they most hope the baby gets from Rose. One answered 'her hair' the other answered 'her Rose-logic.' Who thinks Rose answered 'her hair'?"

Almost every hand in the room went up.

"Dimitri?" Stan asked.

My Russian God was flushing dark red when he shook his head.

"I'm the one hoping the baby has Roza's hair," he said, twining his fingers into my long locks and giving me a very sweet look.

Checking quickly with Josh, Stan continued, "Three of you have answered all the questions correctly so far… nearly at a winner. The fourth question: the attribute they most hope the baby gets from Belikov. One answered 'patience' the other answered 'a love of reading.' Who thinks Belikov answered 'a love of reading'?"

About half the hands went up.

"Rose?" he prompted.

I nodded.

"Yep he said reading, I said patience."

Josh approached Stan whispering in his ear.

"Ok, so I've been informed two people have guessed every answer correctly. We'll keep going until there is one winner. If we run out of questions, we'll go to the other questions we asked, and you'll have to guess what they answered. Alberta? Mr. Mazur – you're the two winners so far. Question five: we asked them how big they thought the baby would be. One said seven and a half pounds; the other said nine and a half pounds. Who thinks Rose said seven and a half pounds?"

Abe put his hand up; Alberta kept hers down.

"Belikov?" Stan asked with an amused expression.

"Sorry Alberta, I said nine and a half pounds. Abe – looks like you're the winner!"

Abe grinned.

"So what do I win?"

Stan was nearly choking with laughter.

"Mr. Mazur? As king of the game, you get to wear the diaper crown for the rest of the afternoon," Stan said, producing a hat fashioned out of two baby diapers. It looked ridiculous. There was silence for a moment as everyone looked at Abe in concern. He wasn't a man to be crossed, and the idea of him donning a headdress made from nappies was pretty ludicrous.

Then Pavel started laughing. _Really_ laughing.

"Put it on, Abe," he encouraged. "I bet it suits you!"

Abe laughed and put the crown on, sitting it at a jaunty angle on his head.

"Go on. Take photos. I know you all want to," he said, rolling his eyes but nonetheless smiling. He stood like a good sport as every Mazur Guardian, and a lot of other people as well, took photos on their phones.

"Not many people can pull off a diaper crown, but you can!" I complimented him.

"It's all about the attitude," he said with a wink, going to sit down next to Yeva.

"The next game is more of a present for the baby. I'm going to hand around these lovely cards, and I want you to write something about Belikov on one side and something about Rose on the other. Now the things about Rose and Belikov can be something you admire about them, a funny story, a memory, a fact about them. Just remember one day they'll be giving this to their child, so don't put anything on there you think they might not want their kid to know! While you're doing that, Rose and Dimitri can open their presents!"

Josh busied himself bringing the presents one by one to where we sat and then brought a bin for all the wrappings. Stan read out who the gift was from and then Dimitri and I would take turns unwrapping. There were clothes, educational toys, muslin wraps, a couple of lovely breastfeeding scarves, singlets and lots of books.

"I can't believe how perfect all this stuff is," I said to Dimitri.

"You can thank Celeste and Alberta for that," Stan said quietly. "A lot of the Guardians had never been to a baby shower before, so on the Guardian shopping trip after you'd done your baby shopping and went off with Dimitri's family, Alberta and Celeste called everyone to the baby store and vetoed the gifts. Otherwise, you would have ended up with forty teddy bears!"

I smiled. It was a good call, and I made a note to thank them both later.

Finally, there were only three presents left. Stan's and two from Lissa. Dimitri opened Stan's and was surprised to find a bottle of the leading brand of baby pain relief and one of those touchless thermometers.

"Not very exciting, I know. But the first time baby has a fever in the middle of the night, you're going to be grateful having both of those close by," he predicted.

He was right. It was a very thoughtful gift. I stood up and hugged him. He was a little taken back, but returned it.

Then I opened the first of Lissa's gifts. The one addressed to me. Four lovely smocked baby nightgowns in white, two small two larger. The fabric was delicate and sheer; no doubt the finest, most expensive available. Inside was a note, 'Rose I'm so disappointed to have missed your baby shower. You have no idea how much I wish I could be there for you. I wasn't sure whether you were planning to use the surname Hathaway or Belikov, so I didn't have them monogrammed. I miss you. I love you, Lissa'. They were exquisite, but very her taste. Still, it would be nice to have some elegant baby clothes to put the little one in when we visited Court.

Dimitri opened the last present. A box of cigars and a bottle of genuine Russian vodka. His had a note, too. 'For when the baby arrives – hope these help you celebrate. With our blessings for the three of you, Christian and Lissa.' It wasn't Lissa's handwriting, so it must be Christian's. It was a nice touch, and I knew Dimitri appreciated it.

The next hour was spent mingling, thanking people for their presents and attendance. Stan put a group of Guardians into service packing the gifts carefully into a couple of boxes ready to move across to guest quarters.

Calling us to attention a final time, Stan asked Dimitri to say a quick word which he did, thanking everyone for coming and telling them how much it meant to both of us to have so many people helping us prepare for our new arrival. I looked on and nodded, tucked beneath Dimitri's arm.

"Now let's all grab a balloon and head outside. I want you to stand in a circle and one by one we'll release the balloons, each person calling out a wish for the baby," Stan directed.

It was a perfect way to end the baby shower. Dimitri stood behind me as I rested my head against him looking at the pink and blue balloons floating into the sky.

"Happy milaya?"

"Blissfully," I confirmed, spinning in his arms to bring my lips up to his.


	63. Summer of Love: Part 7

"Guardian Quackford, can you pass me some pizza?" Eddie teased.

"Get it yourself," Mason snapped, making an obscene hand gesture.

I rolled my eyes at Dimitri.

"Will you two give it a rest? You're bickering like children, and it's bothering Roza" he barked, his rich baritone voice filled with authority.

"Yes Guardian Belikov," they said almost in unison. Although they were both now Guardians themselves, I knew a part of Mase and Eddie would always be a little frightened and a lot in awe of my Russian God.

Dimitri nodded giving them both a look.

"More pizza, milaya?" he asked tenderly, standing beside the boxes and reaching across for my plate.

"Yep. Pepperoni please Comrade," I said rubbing my bump. Junior had been going nuts all afternoon. I think it was the petit fours, scones, cupcakes, and cake I'd consumed at the baby shower. That much sugar had to be doing something!

"Oh my God, Rose," Mason said looking at my belly as Junior kicked. "Is something trying to claw its way out of your stomach?" he asked, referencing one of his favorite science fiction movies.

"Yeah, it's pretty full on," I laughed, putting my plate on the arm of the sofa and grabbing a throw. I pulled it over my legs and under my dress to cover my panties and the lower part of my bump before pulling my dress up so they could see my tummy.

"Wow!" Eddie said in awe as they could see my whole stomach undulate as Junior moved inside of me.

"That has _got_ to hurt," Mason groaned looking at me in horror.

"It's not pain, more like my stomach decided to stand up, walk around the inside of my abdomen and sit on the other side of my body for a while."

Eddie looked fascinated. Mason looked like he wanted to hurl.

"Does that happen often?" he gasped.

"Kicks? Yep, all the time. Moving like that? Not as much, especially lately. Olena says the baby is starting to get into position."

"You must be excited?" Eddie said.

"Yeah. And fucking terrified," I stated with a shaky laugh.

"Roza!" Dimitri admonished, giving me a look.

"Sorry Comrade," I said immediately contrite. "Dimitri is trying to cure me of my potty mouth before the baby arrives!"

"I don't want the baby's first word to be profanity," he explained.

"You'll have to curb your tongue in Russian, too Comrade," I reminded him.

"I don't swear in Russian… that much."

"You are _such_ a liar!" I said, hurling a cushion at my man, which he easily batted away. "I asked your Babushka about some of the words I've heard you use, and your Mama was _furious_. I think she wants to speak with you about it tomorrow!"

"You didn't? _Roza!"_ he grumbled. "I'm going to be in so much trouble now!"

"No, I didn't. But if you don't teach me Russian curse words I might have to," I threatened with a huge grin. Ha – I'd be able to wheedle anything out of him, now I knew how frightened he was of his Mama.

Eddie and Mason were watching our exchange with amusement.

"You two are funny," Mason observed with a smile. It was nice to have my friend back, with none of the romantic bullshit complicating matters. While he never mentioned the issue after he found out I was pregnant, I suspected if I'd said the word, he would still have been keen. But from the moment he knew it was Dimitri who'd claimed my heart, he'd given me up. "Are you going to call Lissa?" Mason asked anxiously.

"I will," I promised. "I'll text her now because she'll just be waking up. I'll say thanks and promise to call her tomorrow night."

"Please do," Eddie said, suddenly serious. "She's had a rough time. Court is bigger and scarier than she'd imagined. Everyone seems to have an agenda, and she's not sure who she can trust. Christian's been hard work, although he's starting to come good now. She misses you a lot and regrets the things she said," he confided. "She had a big breakdown the other night watching some Disney movie and spent the whole night crying that she'd missed your entire pregnancy and didn't want to call you in case you were still angry."

I nodded, grabbing my phone as Dimitri tossed it to me.

 _Hey Lissa – thanks for the baby shower presents – the nightclothes as well as Eddie and Mason. I'm so grateful they could make it, although I wish you could have come too. They explained about the party and Queen T, and I get it. Baby shower was awesome. Stan MCd and he was a real comedian! Had a ball. Am exhausted now – third trimester sucks in terms of energy levels. Will call tomorrow. Miss you, Rose. P.S. Dimitri said thanks for the cigars and vodka, too!_

"Did you punctuate that text?" Mason asked, peering over my shoulder.

"Yes. And unless you want complaints from Lissa you'll learn to do likewise. Although if you really want to piss her off, text 'wassup?' She _hates_ that!"

"Yeah, can't see that happening," Eddie chuckled.

We chatted until 9 pm when I could barely keep my eyes open. In fact, I must have drifted off, because I woke when Dimitri lifted me from the sofa and carried me into our room.

"Where are the guys?" I mumbled. "I want to say goodbye!"

"They're not leaving until tomorrow, and since I know you want to spend as much time as you can with them, I've put them in the other bedroom here," Dimitri assured me.

Satisfied they weren't going to leave without me seeing them I allowed Dimitri to put me on the bed, stripping me of my clothes and covering me with a sheet.

"I love you, Roza. I want to give you the world," he crooned into my hair as he curled his tall, manly body up hard against my curves.

"You gave me better," I told him, half asleep. "You gave me you."

I waddled to the bathroom the next morning to find it already occupied. Dimitri was still in our bed, so I knew it wasn't him.

"Unless you want a puddle of pee in front of this doorway hurry up," I growled through the door. I hadn't slept well last night; everything was aching. Around 3 am I'd woken with some weird niggling pains and even a tightening or two, but by 4 am they'd all but disappeared and I was glad I'd not woken Dimitri.

"Sorry Rose," Eddie said, emerging quickly.

After relieving myself, I flopped onto the sofa. I suddenly had the biggest craving for a bacon and egg muffin. Like the ones at McDonald's. Lissa and I occasionally had them for breakfast when we were on the run, and I _really_ wanted one now. It didn't help the nearest store was a two-hour drive away.

"You look tired, Rose," Eddie said, looking at me critically.

"I am tired. I can't get comfortable anymore," I whined. "And I really really want a bacon and egg muffin!"

I felt Dimitri's warmth behind me before I saw him.

"Give me a minute, milaya. I'll get dressed and go get the ingredients and make you one," he offered, leaning over to drop a kiss on my head.

I turned and gave him a look.

"Sorry. I meant I'll make you three or four," he corrected, valiantly attempting to keep the look of amusement from his face.

Mason emerged a few minutes later and sat talking with Eddie and me while Dimitri went on an ingredient run to the kitchens. Twenty minutes later I was on my fourth muffin smiling in satisfaction.

"What time are you two leaving?" I asked.

"We have another four hours," Mason said. "What do you want to do?"

"Don't know, any ideas?" I asked.

"I wouldn't mind checking out the Mazur Guardians train," Mason said casually, but I noticed the way Eddie brightened at the prospect, too. "But only if you feel like it, Rose?"

"Are you guys training today?" I asked Dimitri.

"Yes. In fact, I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. We're in the gym sparring today."

Eddie and Mason were almost bouncing on their seats in excitement.

"Get ready and go – the three of you," I laughed. "I need to have a shower and make myself decent. I'll join you in half an hour."

Mase and Eddie looked like their Christmases had come at once. Private Guardians had the reputation of being a cut above the rest, and I knew they wanted to see if the accolades were deserved. In no time the three of them were in sweats and off to the gym. Relishing the peace and quiet, I stripped and climbed into the shower. It was pleasant to spend a few minutes alone.

It had been a while since I'd spoken with Janine; not since a week or so before we'd come to the Academy, so I gave her a call. As anticipated I'd caught her at the end of her working day about to go to sleep. I explained I had her on speaker as I wandered around the room getting dressed.

"So how was your baby shower?" she asked.

My heart sunk a little. I guess I'd hoped she hadn't known, not hadn't wanted to come.

"Yeah, it was good. Alto MCd and he was good. He kept cracking jokes that were almost rude but not quite. He ran this silly game called 'find the nipple' and it was like apple bobbing but for silicone teats from baby bottles. I thought Alberta was going to have a fit when Stan announced it, but it was funny. And Eddie and Mason came across from Court which was wonderful!"

I stopped short when I realized she probably didn't know my closest male friends were Mason and Eddie. She knew about Lissa because of the running away, and also in the early years, they'd contact her every time Rhea Dragomir had wanted to take us girls off campus. After the third or fourth time, Janine signed a blanket release authorizing Alberta to make those sort of decisions on her behalf.

"I'm glad you had a good time. I would have liked to come, but I was rostered to work a Royal function, and I couldn't get a fill in at such late notice. I saw Lissa there; she was disappointed to have missed it, too."

"Never mind, it was just an excuse for a bit of fun. Did you see Christian?"

"Yes, I did. He sought me out at the start of the evening to apologize for Tasha and to let me know he understood I was only doing my job. I told him no apology was necessary, but it was nice of him to make the effort. It's the first time I've killed anyone that wasn't Strigoi, and while I know it was the right thing to do, I've still struggled with it. It's easier killing a soulless being."

I was surprised to hear Janine sounding so affected by what had happened. I guess sometimes even I bought into her persona as a living Guardian legend and forgot she still had the same feelings and self-doubts as the rest of us.

"So how is Dimitri's mother?" Janine asked curiously, but I could hear a funny note in her voice.

"She's lovely! His grandmother is here, too. She's a cranky old bat, but she's also pretty cool. Olena's kind of a midwife, so she's been telling me what to expect. No one else here has had a baby, so they lack the practical pointers," I joked, keeping Celeste's confidence by not mentioning her assistance. "It's nice to talk to someone who knows about these things, 'cos I'm clueless!"

"You'll learn fast enough," Janine said with a sigh. "I have a present here for the baby," she said more enthusiastically. "It's not much. I thought I'd hold onto it for when you come home? Lord Szelsky has decided to winter at Court, so I'll be around into the New Year," she explained. "I thought I could maybe come out to the house sometimes and help out a bit? Things have a way of getting away from you when there's a little one in the house. Although you'll have Dimitri to help you of course…" she trailed off.

"I'm sure I'll appreciate the company," I said quickly. "If only to have another woman around. Living with seven guys is an adventure," I laughed. "Hey, Dimitri and I thought if you're free for Christmas you might like to come for a meal? I mean – you'll see our place before then, but we're planning a big Christmas this year as it will be the baby's first."

"Who will be there?" she asked cautiously.

"Um, still working on it, but at a guess; Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mason, Abe, Pavel, Celeste Matthews from St. Vlad's, Art Schoenberg and Alberta. Plus us of course. I know it might be hard to get leave, or you might have other people you want to spend Christmas with, but if you can manage it we'd love to see you," I said lightly, leaving the ball in her court.

We talked for a little longer. Just work and court stuff. We were signing off when Janine said, "Rose? Please get Dimitri to call or text me when you go into labor. I want to know."

"Shall do," I promised.

I slipped on my shoes and walked across to Olena and Yeva's unit, checking whether they'd like to observe the sparring. Yeva wanted to, so the three of us walked across to the gym. Opening the outer doors the smell hit me and I immediately smiled. Even now, the smell of varnish and sweat, the leather of the medicine balls, the vinyl covered gym mats and the faint scent of damp from the change rooms combined to remind me of Dimitri and I falling in love.

He was standing to one side with the commander from Turkey, discussing and making notes about a fight between two of the Guardians from other locations. His back was to me, but I still enjoyed the view; especially the way his gym pants hung from his hips. Very sexy!

I sat on the side watching the fight myself. They were good, but not as good as Dimitri. But who was? After a few minutes, I hauled myself to my feet, wobbling my way across to where Dimitri was standing.

"The short guy has a problem with his left foot," I said softly. "It turns slightly. He needs to strengthen that."

Dimitri smiled, watching the shorter opponent for a minute or two.

"Good pickup, milaya," he complimented. "I didn't notice that."

After that I walked from fight to fight with Dimitri and the other commander, listening to their commentary and occasionally adding an observation of my own.

"You have an eye for this," the commander from Istanbul complimented.

"I get to do a lot of watching these days," I explained a little sadly.

"Not long now," Dimitri said positively, standing behind me and cuddling me while we watched the fights.

Eddie and Mason were joining in, winning a few of their fights, losing others. They were both good, but Eddie showed particular promise.

"He has real talent," the other commander observed.

"He was top of our graduating year," I said proudly.

"Equal top," Dimitri clarified. "He tied with Rose, even though she was pregnant. Eddie's good, but Rose was always better."

"Then you must have been magnificent indeed," the Turkish Guardian admired.

"She could take me down," Dimitri proudly declared. "I can't wait until she's back into training. She's going to be even more phenomenal."

"Is there any point?" he asked in confusion. "She will be caring for her child, not killing Strigoi."

I immediately tensed, narrowing my eyes at the foreign Guardian. I was probably about to saying something extraordinarily rude when Dimitri chuckled, gently rubbing my shoulders.

"If anyone can do both it's Rose. Besides – I, too, will be caring for our child, and I haven't caught anyone questioning _my_ ability to parent and kill Strigoi," Dimitri pointed out loyally, staring the other man down.

"Of course," he deferred, appreciating he'd caused offense.

I stomped off to sit beside Olena, grumbling about stupid men. I knew the only reason I was so irritated was because he'd said the very thing I'd worried about myself. I hated the way our society was so polarized; female Dhampirs were Guardians or mothers but rarely both.

"You never trained as a Guardian, did you Olena?" I asked curiously.

"No. I always wanted a family," she replied, watching her son with undisguised pride.

"It doesn't have to be one or the other," Yeva barked at her daughter. "I was a Guardian for eight years before I retired to have you."

"Did you miss it?" I asked Yeva.

"I did. It took me a long time to accept that part of my life was over," she said, looking at me deliberately. "I tried to return when Olena was school aged, but that was when the Guardian shortage was only starting. No one thought it worth the investment of taking the chance on retraining a female Guardian – especially one with a child. It always seemed so stupid to me. There were trained female Dhampir who'd love the chance to work and provide a stable home for their child or children, and Moroi families were living outside wards going unguarded because of a lack of a Guardian. Most female Guardians had to choose between their career and having a family because unless you had a lot of support, there was no going back once you had kids."

I looked at the older woman, her words resonating with me. She had a point. The only reason I had any shot at returning to work as a Guardian was because I had a supportive partner and a secure home. I could afford to take the time to get back to form without worrying about keeping a roof over my head or food on the table. Sure, I might never go on the most daring raids or missions as a Guardian, but I did hope to work and contribute. There must be _heaps_ of Dhampir mothers who felt the same way.

I was brought out of my reverie by another tightening. I mentioned it to Olena who had her hand straight onto my belly.

"Not a contraction," she responded to my fearful look, "but you're getting closer. I think those people at your baby shower who bet you'd be overdue are going to be disappointed."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was so ready for this baby to be out and give me my body back, but I still didn't feel ready to be a mother, and I said as much to Olena.

"I felt the same way before I had Karolina, and Karolina felt the same way before Paul," she confided. "No amount of anyone else telling you about it can prepare you for becoming a mother. You should talk to Dimka about it. He's worried too."

"He thinks I can't do it?" I moaned, misunderstanding her.

"No – he worries about being a Papa. He's always had such high standards for himself, but he has no role models for being a father."

She had a point. If there were hardly any Guardians who were mothers, there were even less who were fathers. It was kind of heartening but also terrifying to think Dimitri was every bit as clueless about this as I was.

I continued to watch the sparring until it was time for Eddie and Mason to leave to return to Court. We went via the cafeteria to collect sandwiches for the plane, and then Dimitri and I drove them to the runway.

"Next time I see you, you'll be a mother," Mason said giving me a long hug.

"That I will be," I joked nervously.

"Good luck, Rose. We'll be thinking of you," Eddie said also hugging me before shaking Dimitri's hand and climbing onto the plane.

The Guardians had stopped for lunch while we were dropping the guys to the runway, so we returned to the cafeteria and after collecting our food made our way to a table in the corner of the commons. I wanted Dimitri alone for a moment so I could float an idea past him.

"Dimitri?" I started tentatively.

"Milaya?"

"I think I'm going to need to find a mothers' group or playgroup or something like that when Junior arrives. It's not that I don't like spending time with you guys or anything, but I think I might want to spend time with other women sometimes – especially other mothers."

"I'm sure there must be something at Court?" he replied encouragingly without thinking too much about it.

"Yeah, but that will be filled with Moroi Moms, and you know the assumptions _they'll_ make. And Alyce said Dhampir women around Court don't tend to do mothers' groups and all that. Because most of them are single and working, it's more about trading babysitting than hanging out. I was thinking of seeing if there's anything in the _human_ world? They won't question Junior's paternity, and there'll be no issue about two Dhampir being together."

Dimitri looked at me thoughtfully.

"That might not be such a bad idea. How would you explain how we live?"

"I'd tell them the truth – or a variation of it. I'd say you're the head bodyguard and location overseer for a rich eccentric man who visits the main house for a few months each year. One look at Abe and they'll completely buy it," I joked, referring to Abe's appalling dress sense.

"I think it's a good idea. You're right – you need to be around other women who are going through the same sorts of things you are," he acknowledged. "I'm sorry I hadn't thought of it before. Because Baia has so many Dhampir mothers, Karo already had that support network, I suppose."

"I thought it might be a support for you, too? You don't know any young Dads," I pointed out. "I thought if I became friendly with some of the Moms maybe you might get to know their partners?"

He nodded looking thoughtful.

"That would be good, too," he said gazing at me shyly. I leaned up and kissed my Russian God. Junior and I were very lucky.

The next week at St. Vladimir's passed much the same as the one before it. Dimitri training, me spending time with Olena, Yeva, Celeste, Alberta, and Abe. I was still getting lots of tightenings, several causing panicked trips to Dr. Olendzki, but at thirty-nine weeks two days, the baby was still there wreaking havoc on my bladder.

My trips to the toilet now seemed almost constant, as was unrelenting lower back pain. And I was so bad tempered I found myself avoiding people. After two days of hiding, I decided to visit Celeste. She was the most recent person to go through this – maybe she had some ideas how to cope with the last week? She wasn't in the cafeteria, and the smell of fried food there was making me queasy, so I waddled across the grass and up the stairs towards her room. The stairs I used to run up and down without concern were now exhausting me. I had to stop at each half landing and rest to catch my breath, ignoring the pains from my bump. Finally, on the third floor, I made my way to Celeste's door and knocked.

No answer. I knocked again before I felt a very sharp very distinct pain in my lower stomach. A contraction. Now I'd felt one; there was absolutely no mistaking it. I gripped the doorframe and breathed my way through it, reaching into my pocket for the phone I'd left charging on the bench in the unit. I stood there for a moment cursing my stupidity. Walking slowly back towards the stairs, I only made it twenty yards before a second stronger contraction hit. That's when I started to panic. The books said it could be hours before contractions came close, but this had been only a few minutes.

"Help," I called out weakly in the deserted hallway. It was 10 am, and since the campus ran on human time over summer, pretty much every Guardian was going to be out doing something. My only hope was the sleeping Guardians. Because there were still Guardians rostered overnight, there should be someone here sleeping now.

"HELP!" I bellowed this time, gripping onto the wall. I felt a little dizzy and like I wanted to throw up.

I heard movement, then a door three in front of me opened to reveal a very irritated looking Stan Alto in pajamas.

"Stan! I think I'm having contractions and they're really close," I moaned trying very hard not to freak out.

"Ok. Give me a moment," he said ducking back into his room and emerging again moments later in shorts and TShirt, clutching a cell phone.

He walked over to me, putting one arm around my waist and encouraging me to lean on him. We started walking towards the stairs, and I was almost down the first flight when another contraction hit.

"Put your arms around my neck; I'll take your weight" he instructed gently, putting his hands on my hips and helping me rock my hips from side to side. It was like the oddest slow dance ever, but it helped a little. He was watching my face carefully and could tell when it was over.

"Let's get you over to the infirmary," he said kindly, putting his arm back around my waist and helping me down the stairs. We were at the foot when the next contraction struck, and we resumed our odd dancing position. I was still groaning and rocking from side to side when Alberta and Celeste rounded the corner, stopping in their tracks when they saw what no doubt looked like Stan and I embracing.

"Thank goodness," he said looking up at them. "Rose has gone into labor. She's having contractions every two minutes or so. She can still breathe through them, but they're close," he explained.

Alberta sprung into action, coming to support my other side although when I wasn't having contractions, I could walk fine provided there were no stairs.

"I didn't think Stan was your chosen birthing partner," Celeste teased, trying to distract me.

"I was up there looking for you when I had a contraction," I grumbled.

"Yeah yeah," she teased, getting out her phone and ringing Dr. Olendzki. "Do you want me to call Dimitri?" she checked.

"No. I don't want to bother him if it's another false alarm or she sends me back to the unit," I said. "I'll wait to be examined."

We made it as far as the infirmary doors before the next contraction hit, and again I leaned on Stan and rocked my hips.

"You're good at that," Celeste said, giving Stan a wink.

"Four sisters," he explained. "I've helped through early labor a few times."

Dr. Olendzki caught the tail end of it and said it looked like the real deal this time. She helped me through to the room where my things were already waiting. That was another benefit of staying on campus – no mad dash to the hospital and no waiting. Everything was here and setup.

"Everyone out while I examine Rose," she instructed. I took off my panties and climbed onto the bed, preparing for an internal examination.

"Well done, Rose!" she exclaimed as she took off her gloves. "You're already almost five centimeters dilated. You must have been in early labor for a little while."

"Can you let Alberta in?" I asked once I'd made myself modest. I had a huge shirt of Dimitri's I intended to birth in, but I'd get into that once he arrived.

"Five centimeters!" I announced proudly when Alberta and Celeste came in. Stan was loitering near the door and quickly wished me luck before giving me a wave and leaving.

"Did you want me to call Dimitri?" Alberta asked, giving me a hug and a grin.

I nodded. He'd never forgive me if he missed anything, besides which, I wanted him here.

Alberta gave an evil laugh and picked up the phone on the bedside.

"Where are they today, Celeste?" she asked.

"The Mazur Guardians? Near the lake I think," she replied.

"I say a minute and a half," Alberta said thoughtfully.

"Nah, two minutes," Celeste replied with a devilish chuckle.

I looked back and forth between the two of them, not following their conversation. Pressing some buttons on the phone, I heard the familiar four tones over the PA which heralded the start of a non-urgent campus-wide announcement.

Looking at her watch, Alberta spoke into the handset, "Guardian Belikov – your attendance is required immediately at the infirmary. Repeat – Guardian Belikov, please attend the infirmary immediately. Guardians, students and staff - excepting emergencies, the infirmary is out of bounds until further notice."


	64. Summer of Love: Part 8

"Roza?!" I heard shouted through the infirmary seventy seconds later.

"Ha! I was closer," gloated Alberta, as Celeste muttered something about freakishly tall Russians. My Russian God burst into the room in a panic to see me fiddling with the button that adjusted the back of the bed, and Celeste lowering the blind at the window.

"I thought you were in labor?" he gasped.

I giggled.

"I am! Five centimeters dilated," I announced proudly. "You got here fast!"

Dimitri was looking a little deflated, but then the next contraction hit. I grabbed the rail that was up on one side of the bed, panting and rubbing my bump with the other hand. You could actually _feel_ the muscles contracting through the skin.

"Milaya," Dimitri said with wide eyes, at my side in an instant. "Does it hurt?"

"Well, it doesn't tickle!" I said when I'd got through it.

"Do you need anything?" Alberta asked.

"Yes. I left my phone in our unit charging. Could you get that and the charger? And my camera; it's right next to it. Also, can you make sure Olena, Yeva, and Abe know I'm here? Dimitri, can you text Janine? She asked to be informed when I went into labor." Alberta and Celeste left to get what we needed, and Dr. Olendzki knocked and entered.

"Great! I have the two of you alone. Let's run through a few things before anyone else arrives. Like any labor, your loved ones will be excited and maybe a little overbearing. In this room, I'm working for you and the baby, Rose. You can have whoever you want in here, as long as they're not interfering. But you might find there comes a time when you want someone or everyone to leave. If that's so, tell me you have a craving for doughnuts. I'll know that means you want me to clear the room. You don't need to be stressing about offending anyone, and I have no problem kicking people out. You can always invite them back in later if you want to.

"Guardian Belikov – that includes you. Sometimes it helps for the man to step out of the room for a little while; either because Mom wants it or because I think you might need a break. You need to understand the priority here is keeping Rose comfortable and happy and the baby safe. Unless it's a medical decision, Rose is in charge here. It's her birthing space, and she needs to feel respected and in control. Listen to what she wants. I'll only make a request of you if it's necessary, in which case I need you to obey immediately, even if it's asking you to step outside. Understood?"

"I understand," Dimitri said, answering Dr. Olendzki, but not breaking eye contact as he gazed at me with adoration.

"Finally Rose gets a free pass today. Anything she says, any insult she makes to anyone gets discarded with the afterbirth. She's probably going to tell you she hates you at least once, Dimitri. She doesn't mean it, although she might think she does at the time. When the baby is born, all being normal we'll hand bub straight to Rose, and I recommend putting baby straight to the breast. In the first few days, your breasts produce colostrum which is full of antibodies your baby needs. You don't make a lot, but the more baby is at the breast, the better, especially if you plan to breastfeed. It will also help you deliver the placenta. Dimitri all going according to plan, do you want to cut the cord?"

Dimitri finally dragged his eyes from mine to look at Dr. Olendzki.

"Yes, I'd like to," he said, his voice thick with emotion. She nodded, jotting his preference down on her notepad.

"Rose, you're welcome to use the shower as much as you want during the earlier parts of labor. Some women find the hot water helps. It's probably easiest for you if you go in nude. Dimitri, you or the nurse will need to go with her - she's not to shower unsupervised. If you attend and want to shower with her, please wear a pair of swim trunks."

I was smirking at the idea of the nurse or Dr. Olendzki copping an eyeful of my Russian God.

"I hadn't thought about her using the shower," he admitted. "I'll ask Mama to bring my swim trunks and a few pair of shorts," he said, leaning forward and giving me a quick peck on the nose before stepping outside to call her. The second he left another contraction hit.

"They are coming quite fast. When Dimitri gets back, I'll get you to get changed into what you want to wear for the delivery. I've set up a waiting area down the front for anyone who chooses to wait. Do you have an idea of who you might want in here besides Dimitri?"

"I'm not sure yet. Maybe Alberta, Celeste or Dimitri's mother Olena? Not all at the same time and I don't think I want them here for the pushing or any examinations, though."

"Ok, that's fine. You can change your mind at any time, just let me know. I meant what I said – this is your show, Rose. We're all just here to help." She gave me a motherly smile and brushed my hair from my forehead. "You'll do great; I have no doubt."

Dimitri came back in, and Dr. Olendzki excused herself.

"Mama's bringing my swimwear, and I've texted Janine. She texted back that she loves you and wishes us every luck. Abe and Pavel are in the waiting area out the front and also send their best."

"Did you tell them it might be _hours_ yet?" I asked.

"I did, but Abe said he'd never waited for a baby to be born before and he intended to make the most of the experience," Dimitri chuckled.

"Glad to be a source of entertainment," I said rolling my eyes but with a smile. "So are you excited, Comrade?"

"So excited, Roza. We're going to meet our baby, soon!"

"We are!" I said nervously. "Bring me the baby's bag."

We sat side by side on the bed, unpacking the outfit we'd chosen as our little one's first; a white long-sleeved legged baby sleepsuit with gray giraffes on it, and a matching hat. Dimitri opened the box of newborn diapers and got one ready, and we laid everything out on the changing area beside the warming lamps.

* * *

"You did this to me!" I growled, staring daggers at Dimitri. Even as I said it, I knew I was being unfair. The poor guy was already struggling seeing me in so much pain. I'd been in labor for about a billion years now. Or, as the clock on the wall perversely insisted, about four hours. Alberta had been in for a while earlier but had left, promising to return in an hour or two. Dr. Olendzki sized up the situation and suggested it might be time for another examination.

"Visualize nine or ten, doc," I joked feebly. She gloved up and did an examination. "Well?"

"Seven," she declared. And I completely lost it.

"I can't do this! I don't _want_ to do this! It hurts! I just want it all to go away!" I was having trouble breathing and was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Rose? What about Dimitri takes a break and maybe Olena can step in for a little while?" Dr. Olendzki suggested. "She's been through this herself; she knows how you're feeling…"

I looked at Dimitri and could see he needed a break. He looked like he was about to explode he was so tense. But I also knew he wouldn't go unless I asked him to.

"Comrade? Can you get your Mama?" I moaned. "I want to speak to someone who's been through this." It wasn't a lie. I needed to hear I could do it – from someone who'd done it themselves.

"Ok milaya," he said, warily leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

"Take a break and get some food and fresh air," I instructed, giving his hand a squeeze. The second he left I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding.

* * *

Nothing, and I mean nothing, had prepared me for just how distressed Roza would be in labor. I'd seen her injured on numerous occasions and she'd tolerated it better than most. To see her screaming wasn't something I was used to.

I walked down the corridor to the waiting area at the front. I could hear the steady click of Babushka's knitting needles before I rounded the corner. Abe spotted me first.

"Is that Rose we can hear?" he asked, looking at me wide-eyed.

I nodded still too tense to even reply.

Mama looked at me sympathetically.

"It sounds like she's struggling. What's she saying?"

"It's horrible," I groaned. "She's saying she can't do it, she doesn't want to and begging us to make it all stop."

Mama nodded to herself.

"Ok, so about seven centimeters then."

I looked at my mother in awe.

"Yes. The doctor just did an examination, and she's seven centimeters. She's asking for you," I said. "She said she wants to speak with someone who's been through this."

"And that's why men have no place in the delivery room," Babushka piped up from the corner.

"Mama!" my mother chided, although right now I could see Babushka's point.

"Wouldn't get me in there for love or money," Abe added with a shudder as we heard another holler echo down the hallway.

"I'd kill a thousand Strigoi again rather than go through what she is," I admitted, running my hands through my hair.

"Go for a walk and eat some food," Mama ordered sternly. "Don't come back for half an hour."

* * *

"It hurts!" I wailed as Olena walked through the door.

"I know sweetheart," Olena said coming in and sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. "May I?" she asked, gesturing to my stomach. I nodded. Somehow it felt perfectly natural for her to be looking after me while I was laboring. I wish I'd asked for her sooner.

"Doing well," she said soothingly, just as another contraction hit. As I was panting my way through it, I saw Olena having a few words with Dr. Olendzki.

"Baby's still high up," she said when she came back. "That's why you're dilating slowly. We want to try to get baby moving down a little bit. When baby's head presses against the cervix, it helps it dilate more quickly. We'll start by getting you to walk around a little bit."

She helped me from the bed, and we walked around the room. As soon as I was up, the pain changed. Before it was all in my lower back, but now it was radiating through to my front.

"It hurts different," I said warily, not sure if this was a good or a bad thing.

"More around the front?" Olena asked.

"Yeah. It's like it hurts the same but instead of all being in my lower back, now it's spread across my lower tummy, too."

"That's what we want," Olena said encouragingly. "Now I'm going to put the yoga mat on the floor, I want you to get on your hands and knees, and for the next few contractions we'll focus on tilting your hips back and forth."

A couple of minutes later I was watching as my mother-in-law demonstrated how she wanted me to move.

"You might find it helps with the pain, too," she advised.

For the next five contractions, I tilted as instructed.

"Oh my God! I can breathe again!" I said after the last one, looking up at Olena in wonder.

She gave me a knowing smile.

"Ok, let's get you back on your feet."

I was standing when Dimitri returned, looking a little tense but resolute.

"How are you going, milaya?" he asked cautiously.

"Better, I think," I replied as Olena carefully felt my stomach.

"Have the feelings changed?" she checked.

"I feel more pressure lower, and it's easier to breathe."

"Baby's moved down," she said giving Dr. Olendzki a pleased smile which the other woman returned. "This should help move things along. Rose – how does a nice warm shower sound now?"

"It sounds good," I moaned, wanting one immediately.

"Dimka – go change into your swimwear and then come help Rose in the shower. I want you to support her under her arms and help her rock her from side to side through the contractions like this. The water should be warm but not too hot. Try for half an hour but call out if anything changes."

Glad to have something to do, and reassured by his mother's presence, my Russian God went into the bathroom and emerged a minute later wearing his swimming trunks. He was bare-chested, and even in the throws of labor I could appreciate he was a breathtakingly handsome man.

"Let's go," he said devotedly, supporting me as I walked into the bathroom attached to the room.

Inside the bathroom I discarded Dimitri's large shirt, stepping under the warm spray with my love.

"Do you remember the first time we showered together?" Dimitri asked me, cuddling his arms around me from behind the way his mother had demonstrated.

"Yep. It was just after you probably did this to me," I said, but it was with a loving tone of voice this time.

"I kind of thought this probably happened at the mineral spa," he mused. "We were together a lot those five days, and every time was special. But we were so relaxed there…"

I smiled. It had been blissful. We talked and swayed through the contractions. They were hurting, oh boy were they hurting, but it felt more productive now. I was so much more relaxed with Olena there. Same with Dimitri.

"Do you mind if your Mama stays for the delivery if she wants? It's just reassuring having her here," I confessed, looking at him carefully.

He gave me an adoring smile.

"Whatever you want, milaya. I'm sure she'd love to stay. She was there when Paul, Zoya, and Katya were born; I'm certain she'd like to be here for our little one too."

After thirty minutes, Dimitri turned the shower off, and I toweled down, donning his shirt that was basically a dress on me. Dimitri stripped from his swim wear into shorts, putting a shirt back on. We opened the door and were shuffling out when I felt warm water running down my leg.

"Comrade! I think I peed myself," I gasped.

Olena put a sanitary pad into my hand.

"Hold that between your legs. It might be urine, but it might be your waters breaking."

"It doesn't feel enough to be that?"

"It might be your forewaters. If the baby is in place, there's only a little bit of fluid between baby's head and your cervix. The rest is around baby's body, and the head is acting a bit like a plug. Check the pad – does it smell like pee?" Dr. Olendzki asked.

I took a look and had a quick smell.

"No. It's pinkish and smells sweet."

"That's your waters breaking. We're right on track now," she encouraged.

Dimitri gave me a glorious smile. "It's all happening!"

I didn't want to return to the bed, so for the next half an hour Dimitri supported me as I walked around the room. The contractions were coming closer and faster now, and I was starting to get a little shaky.

"Let's get you up on the bed for another examination," Dr. Olendzki suggested. It was hard getting onto the bed as is it felt like I was experiencing one continuous contraction, but we managed it. Olena was on one side holding my hand, Dimitri on the other. They were both watching me when Dr. Olendzki announced, "Rose, Dimitri – I can tell you your baby has dark hair! Rose, you're fully dilated – you can push whenever you get the urge."

"I'm not ready for this," I wailed.

"You are, and you're almost there," Olena promised. "Do you know how you want to birth?"

"No?" I asked starting to panic.

"Just go with whatever feels comfortable. You can birth on the bed, or standing up, or sitting or squatting. Just go with what feels natural for you," Dr. Olendzki suggested. I thought about it. Squatting seemed to make the most sense to me.

"I might try squatting?" I gasped tentatively. The contractions were on top of one another now.

"Let's give that a try," Olena suggested brightly. "Dimitri, get that chair and sit on it with your legs open. Rose squat between Dimitri's legs. You can rest an arm over each of his legs to help support yourself."

Dr. Olendzki helped me into position while Olena spread clean towels on the yoga mat beneath me. As soon as I squatted, I could feel the pressure change. It was surprisingly comfortable.

"When you feel the urge on a contraction push," the doctor told me.

"Try not to short sharp push. Imagine a coffee plunger and push the way you'd push one of those down. Ease into it but intensify as you push," Olena suggested.

"That's a good way of describing it," I heard the doctor murmur to Olena.

A contraction started, and I pushed. It hurt, but it felt like my body knew what to do. I felt sorry for the doctor kneeling on the floor beside me, but I could feel everything shift downwards.

"That's it you're doing great!" Dimitri enthused, kissing the side of my hair.

"Bite me!" I growled caustically in between moans. I heard his chuckle and knew he still loved me. I pushed as described through the next few contractions, and I could see Dr. Olendzki and a nurse getting things ready, Olena stepping to the side but talking to me supportively.

"In a push or two, your baby is going to crown, Rose. It will hurt, but after that, the pain will be almost gone. As soon as baby has crowned, I will pop this cushion under your bottom, and you can sit but lean back on your hands. The doctor will finish delivering the baby. Dimka, once she's sitting, you can move the chair away and sit behind her on the floor if you both want."

I was nodding as I felt the next contraction start.

"Baby's almost crowning Rose!" Dr. Olendzki said with a huge smile. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ok, relax. One big more push and baby will be crowning. Ready?! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Stop pushing! Short, sharp breaths!"

I let out a roar; not of pain but power. I could do this! I _was_ doing this! I felt the baby's head crown, and then Olena slid a hard vinyl covered foam cushion under me. I sat down leaning backward as Dr. Olendzki rotated the baby between my thighs.

"One more push, just a little one, and your baby will be born!"

So I pushed - and with a rush of fluid, our baby was there! I tried to look, but Dr. Olendzki had the baby in a warm blanket and was suctioning baby's mouth. Then we heard a loud, healthy cry and she passed me our bundled baby.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Dimitri laughed, also trying to see.

"Find out for yourself," Olena laughed. Cuddling me from behind, his head beside mine resting on my shoulder, Dimitri watched as I unwrapped the blanket to share our first look at our son.

"Welcome to the world _,_ baby boy," I said completely in awe. "I'm your Mama!"

His eyes were open, and he looked a little confused, but he seemed to know my voice. I lifted my top and brought him straight to my breast, cradling him across my body.

"Mama? Can you take some photos?" Dimitri asked.

"Of course," Olena said through teary eyes, grabbing the camera and taking picture after picture as Dimitri and I crooned and grinned at our baby as he nuzzled at my breast.

We sat on the floor for a few minutes before Dr. Olendzki suggested Dimitri lift me up onto the bed so I could deliver the placenta there. Olena adjusted the bed into a comfortable reclining position, and Dimitri lifted the baby and I like we were the most precious people in the world. Dimitri was allowed to cut the cord, and then our son was taken to be measured and weighed while I got a shot in the leg to help me expel the placenta. I'd read it could be painful but I must have got lucky, because other than a few achy pains, delivering the afterbirth didn't really hurt at all. I stripped my shirt off, and Olena draped a blanket around me ready for when the nurse returned with our boy swaddled in a blanket.

"Twenty-two and a half inches and just over nine pounds milaya," Dimitri reported proudly, gazing at the two of us. "Mama took lots of photos of him being measured and weighed!"

"Have you held him yet?" I asked.

My Russian God shook his head nervously.

"Get your shirt off then," I said. "He needs skin to skin."

Dimitri shucked his shirt off in seconds, tossing it over the arm of the chair and grabbing a warm blanket to drape over himself and our baby. The nurse handed him to Dimitri who looked like he was falling in love all over again. I'd only ever seen him give such a look of adoration and devotion to me, but I didn't mind sharing it with our son.

"Dimitri? Rose? I'm filling out the paperwork, have you decided on a name?" Dr. Olendzki asked.

Dimitri gave me a questioning look.

"You're still happy with our first choice?"

"Yep," I said with a grin.

"Dr. Olendzki, Mama? Can I present our son, Ivan Dimitrievich Belikov."


	65. Summer of Love: Part 9

"Mama? Would you like to hold Ivan while I help Rose clean up? She wants to have a shower."

Olena beamed at her only son.

"Is that alright Rose?" she checked.

"I think you've earned the first cuddle after Mama and Papa," I said with a smile. "Comrade – take some photos."

Dimitri hovered in front of his Mama taking pictures with the camera as well as with his phone. We'd agreed we'd wait until I was cleaned up and we'd moved across to the room next door where we'd be staying for a few days before inviting anyone else in to meet Ivan. I wanted to look a bit more composed before we took the photos we'd text to all our friends announcing his arrival.

Olena settled in an armchair to have a nice long cuddle with her newest grandson while Dimitri helped me into the shower. My hair was lank, and I could smell the sour slightly fetid stench of perspiration. Celeste had promised me the first shower after I gave birth would be one of the best of my life, and as I stepped under the spray, Dimitri hovering nearby like a mother hen, I had to admit she'd been right.

I lathered my hair, loving the feeling of the water through it as I rinsed it until it ran clear of suds. I used my favorite jasmine body wash liberally until I felt clean again. Turning off the spray, I toweled down, changing into a pair of very comfortable and extraordinarily unattractive granny knickers, topping them with a pair of yoga pants, a nursing singlet top and an open button-up loose shirt.

"I see what they mean about motherhood not being glamorous," I grumbled, putting a sanitary pad the size of a small surfboard into my underwear.

"I don't care. You have never looked more beautiful to me," Dimitri said, stepping forward to embrace me. "I love you so much. You and Ivan. I can't believe you made me a Papa! We're a little family now" he said, wonder in his voice.

I smiled at him. I couldn't believe it either. It seemed completely surreal that when we stepped out of the bathroom, there'd be a baby there we were responsible for. I couldn't wait to see and hold him again, but I also wanted these last few minutes with just Dimitri and me.

"I love you too, Comrade. I know things are going to change now – but _that's_ never going to change."

"Never," he agreed, lowering his lips to mine in a sweet and loving kiss. "Come on milaya; there's a young man who no doubt wants to check out your breasts. Of course, I _entirely_ understand the fascination," he teased.

"You're a pervert," I laughed as we moved back out into the room.

"Are you ready to go across next door?" Olena asked, still sitting in the armchair cuddling Ivan.

"Yes. Let's get out of here," I said, looking at the room. There was blood all over the bed and the towels on the floor; it looked as though a massacre had occurred.

Olena placed Ivan into a perspex crib that sat on a wheeled base, and I pushed him through to the room next door. Where the birthing room had been about practicalities, this room had been set up more like our room in guest accommodation. There was a queen-sized bed, a little table, two comfortable armchairs and even fresh flowers on the table. Dimitri would be staying here with Ivan and I. Babushka had thought it very peculiar and unnatural when we'd told her of our plans; in Russia, the father sometimes didn't get to see his partner or child until a few days after the birth. But Dimitri and I had been adamant - he needed to bond with his son every bit as much as I did.

"You ready to tell the world about our little man?" I asked Dimitri as he fussed with the pillows on the bed, making a comfortable place for me to sit.

"I am!' he replied with a huge grin. "Mama? Can you take some photos with my phone?"

Dimitri sat on the bed, opening his legs for me to gingerly sit between. I picked up Ivan and leaned back against my Russian God's chest. Dimitri wrapped his arms around the two of us from behind. Olena took heaps of photos; some we were looking at the camera, some at Ivan and in a few at each other. Ivan was sleeping, so I carefully placed him back in his crib, taking the phone from Olena to snap a few close-ups of him. I sat back down next to Dimitri, tapping out our message on Dimitri's phone.

 _Dimitri and Rose are thrilled to announce the safe arrival of their son Ivan Dimitrievich Belikov, born 22 August, 4.18pm. 22 and a half inches, 9 pounds. Mother and baby are doing well.  
_

I attached four photos and sent it out to the group Dimitri had already created on his phone for this purpose.

"You'd better go get them," I laughed to Dimitri, meaning the group patiently waiting down the corridor.

With a huge grin, Dimitri left to announce our little man's arrival. Moments later our room was crowded with well-wishers; Abe, Alberta, Yeva, Pavel, and Celeste. It was standing room only at the crib as the five of them jostled to look at the newest little Belikov.

"He looks like Dimka did," Yeva said approvingly. "Well done, Маленькая внучка," she said to me, seating herself in one of the two armchairs.

"He's beautiful," Alberta said, looking at him with happy tears. "Congratulations!" she said coming over to hug me. "You too, Belikov," she said hugging him as well.

Ivan opened his eyes, and for the next half-an-hour was passed around. He was content, only getting a little fractious towards the end.

"Rose? Dimitri? Are you happy for me to announce his arrival to the campus?" Alberta asked as everyone was preparing to give us our space so I could try feeding him again.

We both nodded. I wanted the world to know my special little guy was here!

Alberta picked up the handset of our phone, punched in some numbers, and the four tones rang across campus signaling an announcement was about to be made.

"Students, staff and Guardians, I'm delighted to announce the arrival of St. Vladimir's youngest, Ivan Dimitrievich Belikov born an hour or so ago. He's a handsome, healthy little man – twenty-two and a half inches and nine pounds. Mom and baby are doing well. Please give the new family their privacy."

After that everyone made their farewells and left the three of us alone.

"How are you feeling, Roza?" Dimitri asked.

"Hungry," I laughed.

"I'll ring the kitchen. Anything, in particular, you feel like?"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Nothing too spicy in case it goes through my breast milk," I said. "Something with meat and vegetables."

Dimitri busied himself on the phone while I picked up our boy. Opening my top, I unclipped one side of the nursing singlet, trying to get him to attach. I don't think I was doing it right, but it didn't hurt, and he seemed happy enough lapping at my nipple. I looked up to see Dimitri looking at the two of us with an enormous goofy grin on his face.

"Do you have any idea how perfect you look doing that?" he asked.

"Really?" I replied shyly.

"Really," he confirmed, coming to sit beside me on the bed.

"I don't know if he's getting anything, but I'll try for fifteen minutes each side," I said. "Your Mama told me she'll come at 10 am tomorrow, and we can give him his first bath, and she'll help us get a good latch for feeding. Now isn't there a special phone call you'd like to make?" I asked tentatively. "It will be about 6 am there…"

He nodded. "If they're interested, do you mind if I send them a photo of him? I won't send one with us, just one of him."

I nodded, reaching across to stroke his arm.

"I'm sure they'd love to see him."

Moving to sit in one of the armchairs, Dimitri used his mobile to ring St. Petersburg – the current location of Ivan Zeklos' parents. They'd contacted Olena when they'd heard news of Dimitri going missing, so she'd called them when he escaped, telling them he was well and additionally was going to be a father. They'd been effusive in their congratulations and said they'd love to hear when the baby was born. Dimitri had told me that if the baby was a boy, and we used the name Ivan, he'd like to ring them and tell them himself.

He was bouncing one leg up and down – a sure-fire sign he was nervous. He knew Ivan's parents bore him no ill will regarding their son's death, but it was still painful for Dimitri to speak with them.

The phone must have been picked up because Dimitri started talking in his native tongue. His tone was respectful and gentle, but as he spoke, I could see the tension leaving him. I couldn't understand anything, but I did hear when he said our son's full name. They must have taken it well because Dimitri was smiling. He spoke for a little while and signed off.

"They're touched we named him for Ivan. They asked for our address to send something for him."

"That's sweet of them," I said, stifling a yawn. I switched Ivan to my other breast, but he wasn't doing much. I think he was as tired as I was. I stroked his little cheek to try and rouse him, but his eyes closed and he fell back to sleep.

"I'll put him down," Dimitri offered, taking him from me. Despite being a very healthy size, Ivan still looked tiny in my Russian God's arms. Dimitri had settled him into his crib when there was a knock at the door – our dinner had arrived.

The kitchen had outdone themselves! Two _enormous_ serves of roast beef with vegetables and oven baked potatoes in a hearty gravy. For dessert, chocolate iced doughnuts piled on a plate, the topmost with 'Welcome Baby Ivan!' iced in white on the chocolate topping.

"Many congratulations!" one of the Dhampir ladies from the kitchen said as she passed the laden tray to Dimitri. "You just let us know if there's anything you fancy," she said to me. "Breastfeeding can take it out of you, so you'll need to keep your strength up. How does a cooked breakfast sound for tomorrow? 7.30? 8 am?"

"7.30 would be perfect, thank you." I could see her trying to peer around Dimitri to see Ivan. "Would you like a little look?" I asked proudly.

"Oh could I?" she asked. "My grandchildren are all teenagers now!" She walked in and looked at our sleeping son. "Oh, he's lovely. Enjoy these precious first days; they grow so fast! I'll leave you to it. Don't forget to call if you need anything."

We ate our meal in almost complete silence. It had been such a long, eventful day and we were both drained. I was tired but not yet sleepy, so Dimitri found a movie on TV, and we sat propped up on our bed, the volume down low, me cuddled against Dimitri's side. Our phones had been pinging and ringing almost non-stop, but we'd turned them both to silent. There'd be time for congratulations tomorrow.

I woke at 4 am to the most beautiful sight ever; my love cradling our son and speaking to him in Russian. Dimitri turned to me and smiled. I got up to use the bathroom, sitting back down on the bed and watching them.

"He woke up a little while ago," Dimitri explained. "He wasn't crying, just snuffling differently. He's opening his mouth a lot, so he might be hungry?"

I settled myself into a comfortable nest of pillows, pulling up my top to expose my breast. Dimitri passed Ivan to me, and he seemed interested in the nipple, doing his best to latch on. The first time hurt like hell, but the second time I managed to get more of the nipple into his mouth, and he seemed happier with it. He fed for about twenty minutes, and I changed sides, doing the same on the other side. I could see a little liquid in his mouth, so something was happening!

After another twenty minutes, I suggested we check his nappy. Dimitri took him and unwrapped him, claiming to have a bit of practice with this aspect of things. To be honest, I was happy for him to do honors, especially when I saw the dark tar-like poop in his tiny nappy! It took Dimitri five minutes to get him all cleaned up and back into his crib.

"I probably need to feed again around six. Wanna cuddle and tell me how much you love me?" I teased, pulling Dimitri back into bed.

"Always," he said lovingly.

* * *

We stood at the runway waving as Abe's plane lifted into the sky headed for Chicago. One benefit of Ivan arriving five days early was Olena and Yeva had got to enjoy him for ten days before their scheduled departure with the Guardians from Omsk. I was crying as they left – I'd miss them both, but especially Olena. She had been wonderful! From helping me perfect my feeding latch through to sitting Dimitri and I down and giving us a preemptive lecture about conflict and parenting, she was just so across everything. I knew she was only a phone call away, but I was going to miss having her at my twenty-four-hour beck and call.

That said, I was ready to go home. I loved our time at St. Vlad's, but I wanted my own little cottage, our own space, and my own bed.

Despite Olena's lecture, things had gotten a little tense between Dimitri and I. We were both sleep deprived, and he was starting to irritate me being _around_ all the time. I was trying to find my way with Ivan, but he'd make suggestions about the way I did things. It all came to a head when he tried to correct the way I was feeding – which is when I told him until he grew breasts and started lactating he could shut the hell up! I'm pretty sure Olena said something to him, because after that he let me do things my way.

Ivan and I had passed all our health checks with flying colors, and tomorrow we were scheduled to fly home to Pennsylvania. Dr. Olendzki had organized a referral to a Pediatrician friend to keep an eye on Ivan's development, but the consensus was so far he was looking, acting and developing just like a regular Dhampir. At our request, Dr. Olendzki had sent a deidentified DNA swab from Ivan to one Moroi lab to confirm this, and a deidentified paternity swab from Dimitri and Ivan to another. While Dimitri insisted the second test was not necessary, I wanted it. As I explained to my man, I didn't want there ever to be a shred of doubt in his mind about it – and I'd also like proof in case it ever became an issue for anyone else!

I climbed back into the van we'd driven to the runway in to find Abe and Pavel flanking the car seat where Ivan was sleeping. While Abe had ostensibly come to the airstrip to wish his Omsk Guardians farewell, the fact Ivan was with us was a pretty clear added inducement. Watching his fascination with my son was amusing. After his first nervous cuddle, he'd relish any opportunity to hold him.

"Are you looking forward to flying home tomorrow?" Abe asked as I took my seat in the van.

"I am," I said. "I want to get into our routine and get Ivan settled into his own room."

"You'll have some unpacking to do," Pavel laughed, referring to the mountain of presents we'd received. Combined with the things we'd received for our baby shower it was far too much. Enough for _two_ babies. Which led me back to a suggestion of Celeste's; that I put aside some of the items for a future child.

It wasn't something Dimitri and I had spoken about yet. He'd come to my appointment yesterday with Dr. Olendzki when she'd said that we could be intimate again as soon as I stopped bleeding and discussed contraception options with us. A lot came down to if and when we might want to try for a second child. A conversation we needed to have ASAP, as Dr. Olendzki was keen to have contraception sorted before we left for Pennsylvania. As she'd said at my appointment yesterday, she didn't know whether Ivan's conception was a miraculous one-off or if Dimitri and I would be as fertile as any other couple; but in the absence of any information suggesting otherwise, we should assume that we needed contraception if we didn't want another baby.

I was sitting at lunch in the commons with Dimitri when I decided to raise the issue. Ivan was asleep in the bassinet attachment of his pram, and we were enjoying a quiet moment in the sun together. Dimitri looked tired but happy – now we'd agreed to let each other do things our own way with Ivan we were more at ease with one another.

"Comrade? I should see Dr. Olendzki this afternoon or tomorrow to sort out contraception," I started, "'Cos I'm guessing you're not going to want to use condoms long term?"

Dimitri blushed which I thought was silly. We had a baby together. Unless we wanted another, we had to talk about this. Seeing he was embarrassed I continued.

"So the way I see it there's three options. The pill, the three-month shot, and the implant. I'm worried I'd forget the pill, so I've ruled that out. It's either the shot or the implant. The thing that worries me about the shot is it can take a while for it to wear off if we decide we want to have another baby, but the implant can be removed at any time if we decide we want another child.

Dimitri looked at me in surprise.

"You'd still consider trying for another?"

I laughed. "Well, Ivan's only ten days old, so not right _now._ But yep. I'm hoping to have at least one more."

Dimitri gave me a jubilant smile.

"I thought after everything you'd been through it might have put you off?" he asked tentatively.

"Well it's going to take me a long time to forget labor," I admitted, "But I don't like the idea of Ivan being an only child. Would you like a second?"

"Milaya, I love being a Papa. I want as many children as you'll give me! But we can start with a second…" he teased, pulling his chair closer to mine so he could lean across to kiss me. "So… When are you thinking?"

That was the sixty-four thousand dollar question.

"Well if everything is going well with your job and living at Abe's, I was thinking something like a year and a half gap? I don't want them too far apart. I have to take time off when they're little, so if we have them too far apart, it just prolongs the time before I can return to work or study or whatever." I was looking at him nervously. "And I was always envious of the kids who had siblings at school. It's like they were never really alone, you know?"

"A year and a half sounds perfect," my Russian God assured me. "Maybe we'll get a little girl next time?" he said hopefully.

* * *

Being home was blissful. While I'd cried buckets when I said goodbye to 'Grandma Bertie' and 'Auntie Celeste,' we were going to see them at Christmastime, both having accepted our invitation to stay over the Christmas break.

Dimitri, Ivan and I soon settled into a routine, and we were all much happier for it. I was worried I'd be bored at home, but nothing could be further from the truth. As Dimitri and I discussed, I joined a mothers' group in the town forty minutes away. I was nervous the first time I walked in, but everyone was welcoming. Before long, I was enjoying morning workouts with Dimitri and the Guardians, weekly visits from Janine, morning tea two or three times a week with Abe, and mother's group get-togethers in town. Between all that, helping Dimitri in the garden, and debating his never ending ideas for improving the cottage and the property, weeks turned into months, and soon enough we were preparing for our first Christmas.

I'd only seen Lissa once since Ivan's birth. She and Christian had left to settle in at Lehigh before we'd arrived back from Montana with Ivan. She'd come to court for a Royal function a week after we returned home, so I'd stayed at Abe's house in guest quarters for the night, and Lissa had come to visit Ivan and me there. She was very taken with Ivan and didn't want to let him go. We cleared the air, and while it would take us a while to get back to being as close as we once were, I now felt it was a possibility.

Now I wasn't pregnant, the bond was stronger again. Every now and again during the day Lissa would send me a thought or tell me to look at something through her eyes. It was like our personal one-way walkie-talkie, but it was nice to know I was still on her mind. I hadn't yet seen Christian, but they'd accepted our invitation to Christmas lunch so we'd see him then, which was awesome because it meant Eddie and Mason would be coming with them. The current plan was for them to only stay for the day, but Abe's main house would be finished by then, and he made it clear there was plenty of room for them there if they wanted to stay a day or two.

Christmas was shaping up to be huge. Dimitri and I would be cooking for twelve adults; Abe, Pavel, Janine, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mason, Alberta, Celeste and hopefully Art as well as ourselves. Which reminded me…

"Comrade? Have you got Art's number handy?"

"Sure thing – what do you need it for?"

"I want to ask him to Christmas lunch."

"I've got a Council meeting next week, I'll ask him then," Dimitri said oblivious to my ulterior motives.

"I'm going to order supplies online," I quickly made up. "I need to order early, or they won't get here on time – so I need to know numbers."

"Fine," he said, tossing me his phone with Art's number before going back to supervising Ivan's tummy time, mumbling something about Christmas becoming bigger than Ben Hur.

I went out onto the porch, plonking myself onto the porch swing. As I'd anticipated, we used it all the time – it being a favorite spot for Dimitri and me to unwind of an evening.

"Dimitri," Art greeted, answering his phone.

"Hi Art, it's Rose actually," I said, thinking about how to get the required information across without being _too_ obvious. "Is this a good moment?"

"Sure is – what can I do for you?"

"Actually, it was something I thought we could do for you. We're doing a big Christmas at our place this year, and Dimitri and I thought you might like to come? Most of us are on human time, so we'll be holding it at midday on Christmas, but you're welcome to come and stay a day or two early if you'd like to acclimatize?"

"That's very kind, but I was considering going to St. Vladimir's this year. Maybe work with some of the Dhampir students who stay on campus?"

"That's a kind thought," I said, mentally cursing myself for not ringing earlier. "I'm sure Alberta and Celeste will be disappointed to miss you. They're both coming to stay with us for Christmas. Alberta's going to be here for a fortnight, and Celeste is going to stay until New Years and then drive down to see her family for a week."

"Oh – it would be a pity to miss them. The whole reason I was going to St. Vlad's was because I had some ideas I wanted to run past Alberta. When are they coming in?"

"School finishes on the twenty-second, so they're flying across on the twenty-third. Alberta's flying back on the sixth and I think the plan is the plane will pick up Celeste on the way. Anyway, if you've got stuff to discuss with Alberta you're welcome to come stay. Between the main house, the guardian quarters, the workshop flat and the cottage, we've got plenty of space. Dimitri's planning to watch all the College Football games, and even if it's snowing, he'll be out there using that damn barbecue of his."

Art chuckled. "You had me at college football! Count me in. I've already booked the time off, so I might take you up on the offer to stay if you don't mind? If I stay at Court someone will no doubt find me and want me to work," he laughed.

"Oh, I'm so pleased! Dimitri will be delighted!" I said, hoping my Russian God wouldn't mind.

"When would you like me there?" Art asked.

"What about the twenty-third? That way you can relax a little before the craziness of Christmas Day?"

"Sounds good. In fact, why don't I pick Alberta and Celeste up from the airport and drive them to your place? It will save you making a special trip?"

"Oh Art that would be perfect thank you," I said, grinning like a Cheshire cat. The man had it _bad!_

I rang off, going inside to break the news we were having an extra houseguest for a week over Christmas. Dimitri wasn't downstairs, so he must be putting our little man down for a nap. Sure enough, upstairs Dimitri was standing beside the cot looking at our handsome son. I sneaked into our room, quickly putting on a very naughty pair of panties and a matching bra. It was only in the last week or so I had gotten back into my tightest jeans, and while there were still some obstinate areas I needed to work on, I was feeling almost back to normal.

"Comrade? Can you come help me with something in our bedroom?" I called out, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to startle Ivan.

I heard Dimitri's soft footsteps padding across the hallway floor before the double doors to our room opened. My Russian God lifted one eyebrow when he saw me reclining on our bed dressed in some particularly inspiring underwear.

"What do you need help with, milaya? Did you misplace your dress?" he teased, desire unfurling in the depths of his brown orbs.

I pouted. "I was feeling a little _lonely…"_

* * *

-ooOOoo **The End Part Three** ooOOoo-


	66. Autumn, Reaping What We've Sown: Part 1

"So I'm planning to put Celeste and Art in the workshop flat, Alberta in the spare room here, if they decide to stay Lissa and Christian in the main house, Mason and Eddie in the Guardian quarters and Janine has already said she can't stay but will come for the day."

"You didn't want Art and Celeste in the Guardian Quarters?" Abe asked innocently, although I could see a twinkle in his eye. Dimitri might not have guessed what I was up to, but I don't think Abe was quite so innocent.

"No, I thought not. Art is a very senior Guardian. His presence might intimidate the other Guardians a little. And Celeste is always 'one of the guys' wherever she goes. I thought she'd enjoy our old room with all its little creature comforts." It was the lamest excuse ever, but Abe pretended to accept it, nodding with a rather knowing expression.

Something about the smugness annoyed me. I thought I'd been subtle about this! I took a sip from my very expensive Russian teacup, watching as Ivan tried to shove his fist into his mouth. He was doing it all the time at the moment. Yesterday he wanted to shove them both in at once! He was a handsome child; there was no doubt about it. He had Dimitri's eyes but my hair. His nose was mine, but the lips were all Dimitri. So far he was fairly laid back, leading me to hope he had his father's temperament, although he'd had a couple of tantrums that led me to think he had some of my obstinate spirit.

"Dimitri's teaching Ivan and I Russian," I said, changing topics. "The baby books say it's important they hear as many languages as early on as possible if you want them to be multi-lingual. Olena, Yeva and his Aunts all speak to him in Russian, but it's only on Skype. So Dimitri is teaching me Russian so we can speak it in front of Ivan. Of course, most of the words I've picked up so far are swear words, so I won't be using them," I confessed ruefully.

Abe chuckled. He knew I gave my Russian God a run for his money at times, but we were very much in love. Becoming parents distanced some couples, but we were the opposite. Ivan seemed to bring Dimitri and me even closer together.

"Anyway, I thought you and Pavel might want to speak to Ivan in Turkish as well sometimes? It would be nice if he could learn it – even just a bit," I said casually. "He'll be talking before we know it, so you'll have to decide what you'd like him to call you, too."

"Call me?"

"Yes. As you know, Alberta's already decided she's Grandma Bertie. Janine wanted a special name but not an official grandparent term. She's trying a few names on for size, but she seems to be settling on Neenee. You can decide on your own term of course, but if you can't come up with something, I'd rather Dede or Grandpa to Zmey!" I said raising my eyebrows at him.

"You'd like him to know me as grandfather?" Abe said looking at me carefully.

"What you want him to call you is up to you, but if he's calling _Alberta_ Grandma, I think Dede or Grandpa is in order, don't you?!"

I took a sip of my tea letting him process what I'd said.

Abe looked up at me.

"You know, don't you?" he said very quietly.

I nodded, staring at him over the rim of my teacup. He looked flustered and out of his depth.

"How _long_ have you known?" he asked nervously.

"I suspected when you organized to fly Dimitri and me out to Court the first time, but I was certain once you bought the property."

"Does Belikov know?" he asked.

"I'm sure he does," I said. "But he won't lie to me, so I haven't raised the issue with him."

"What gave it away?" he asked curiously.

"Well firstly I own a mirror," I said with a little laugh. "But it was also the way as soon as I needed something you just made it happen. The phone, credit card, car. Plus you've mentioned my father less and less. You've not spoken about him in months. Were you planning on telling me?"

"Yes. I kept looking for the right time, and then it had gone on for so long I thought you would be angry at me for not speaking up sooner."

"Abe, why would I be angry? You've helped Dimitri, Ivan and me so much. I know you've been over-generous in your allocation to Dimitri, but I appreciate you giving him the opportunity to work to support us; he wouldn't have coped with charity."

"Actually, I pay him the same as I pay my other commanders," he quickly defended, "and I should pay him more. He's doing an exceptional job. Pavel and I both consider him the best of my commanders."

"Still you didn't need to buy a property just to give us somewhere to live."

"I was already thinking about having a US base before all this," he said. "I probably would have just bought something at Court, but this solved a lot of problems and truth be told, I love the peace out here. Everywhere else I own is in the middle of the hustle and bustle. I enjoy being able to unwind here – but the primary pleasure is seeing you and Ivan."

My mobster father looked particularly tender when he talked about his grandson.

"Anyway, now I know you know, there are some other things we should discuss," he said, suddenly all business. "Firstly I have the paperwork prepared to gift you this cottage and the workshop. The property will be subdivided, and this corner will be yours. You're welcome to fence it off and put in your own driveway and entry from the road if you wish, although I would like it still to be encompassed within the wards."

"You don't need to give it to me," I said. "And I certainly wouldn't want it fenced off."

"Yes, I do. Dimitri rebuilt this place almost from the ground up to make a home for you and Ivan. He did his part; now I'd like to do mine. I know you won't live here forever, but you've been without a place to call home your whole life. I want you to know this is yours and no one will ever take it from you."

I stood up and hugged him.

"Thank you."

"You're my only child. All this – all _everything_ I own – will be yours one day. You should also know there is a large trust fund already established for your more immediate needs. I'll arrange to have it signed over to you as soon as possible. I've already changed my will, but now you are a mother we should have one made for you, so Ivan will always be protected and provided for."

"I don't need any of that," I told him. I wanted him to know having a father was enough. I didn't need the money.

"You might not, but I do. It helps me rest easier knowing you and Ivan will be looked after. I know Belikov will make sure you never go without," he explained gently, "but I've spent my whole life amassing a fortune only to realize too late I have no one to share it with. You don't have to spend it if you don't want to – but it's there."

"Thank you, Abe. I appreciate it, but having a family is more than I ever hoped for."

"Me, too," he said, hugging me again. "I guess the next question is, who would you like to know about this?"

"Well, Janine and Pavel obviously know. And I'm guessing Alberta is the one who contacted you, so she knows too?" Abe nodded sheepishly. "I'm going to tell Dimitri and Ivan, and I guess everyone coming to Christmas can know and also Dimitri's family."

"Even Schoenberg?"

"I think so. He's a bright man; he's probably worked it out anyway. He already knows Ivan is Dimitri's biological child – and he's a good friend and mentor to Dimitri. I'd like him to know."

"Then let's make the main announcement at Christmas. What about the wider community? I'm proud to own you as my child, but it comes with drawbacks. The last thing I want is for you to become targets."

He had a point. Once I wouldn't have cared, but now I had Ivan to consider.

"Let's limit it to friends, for now," I said. "But just so you know, I'm very proud to have you as my dad."

* * *

"So I told Abe today to make up his mind if he wants to be Dede or Grandpa," I said to Dimitri as I was brushing my hair before bed.

"Oh?" Dimitri said noncommittally. "Well, I suppose Alberta's claimed Grandma Bertie…"

I rolled my eyes.

"It's ok, Comrade. I know. I've known since we first came to Court."

"Oh…"

"I assume you picked it then, too?" I asked.

He nodded regretfully.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything – I just thought he deserved a chance to tell you in his own time. Also, this job seemed like the _only_ option where we wouldn't have to be separated yet would still give me a chance to work to support our little family. It seemed so perfect; I guess I didn't want to look for reasons to have to knock it back."

"That's the same reason I didn't say anything," I laughed. "Anyway, he knows I know now. He's mentioned there's a trust fund set up and he's also gifting us this house and the land it sits on. He knows I've never had a place to call home, so he wants us always to have this."

My Russian God gave me a grin.

"I can't say I'm not pleased. The idea of anyone else living in this cottage upsets me. I did all this for you and Ivan. I want our children always to know where home is."

"Home is always going to be wherever you are, Comrade."

"Then how do you feel about home being in Russia in June? Abe mentioned he was planning to go to Russia for a month or so in summer. It'd be good for Ivan to meet his cousins, and I am sure we could come to some arrangement with Abe for us to go. I think he might be hoping for that; twice when he was telling me about it, he mentioned how much he'd miss Ivan."

"He's very fond of our son," I laughed.

"He's very fond of his daughter, too," Dimitri said with an indulgent smile.

"So how do you think Janine is going to be at Christmas? She knows he's coming."

"She'll be fine. But maybe call her and let her know?"

I looked at the clock. 9 pm. The start of the Moroi business day.

"I'll text her. It's not urgent, and I wouldn't like to interrupt her day."

Dimitri lifted an eyebrow, but I thought Janine might appreciate the opportunity to compose herself before speaking with me about it.

 _Hi Janine. Spoke to Abe today and let him know I know he is my father. I knew almost from the start but was waiting for him to bring it up. It was getting silly, so I raised it. Wanted to let you know. Talk about it more Tuesday if you're still coming over to see Ivan? Rose._

I pressed send. I was bundling my hair up into a ponytail for bed when my phone pinged.

 _Glad it's out in the open. For a mob boss, the man lacks balls sometimes! My visits are to see you as much as Ivan. Janine._

"Aww… That's pretty loving for Janine," I joked, showing Dimitri the text.

* * *

"You're _positive_ he's coming?"

"Yes! I told you, Celeste, he's picking you and Alberta up from the airfield and bringing you to our place."

"Did he say anything? About me?"

"No. But when I first asked him about coming, he said he was thinking of going to St. Vladimir's for the holidays. When I said you and she were coming here he said he was really going there to run some ideas past Alberta," I said in exasperation.

Celeste was quiet for a moment.

"Maybe Art's interested in _her_? She is closer to his age."

I laughed. It was 11 am my time, which made it 9 am in Montana. Ivan and I were rugged up and on the porch swing. He'd just woken from his morning nap, and he was having a nice long feed while I chatted to Celeste using my mobile phone earphone and mic. I was going to have to get one of those Bluetooth ear things because Ivan kept trying to pull the cord between my earpiece and phone.

"I don't think so, Celeste. But he had to say something to explain his change of mind, and he could hardly say 'I'm really into your friend Celeste, so now I know she's coming to yours I'll come too,' could he?"

"I guess not," Celeste admitted. "You're going to have a lot of people there. I hope I get a chance to see him alone," she said nervously.

"Celeste we're on four and a half _acres_. There are plenty of quiet little spots you can investigate together," I said suggestively, not wanting to freak her out by mentioning I intended to put them in the workshop flat together. "Pack your cutest winter stuff, some sexy sleepwear, and I'll see you in a week!"

* * *

What the hell was I doing?! Celeste was twenty-nine! I had _twenty years_ on her. I'd been a Guardian for a couple of years before she was even born! I was so out of practice with this sort of thing.

I _thought_ she was interested in me, but it was hard to tell. The way she looked at me sometimes suggested she wanted me, but I wasn't certain. Things had been so much easier when I was younger. While I'd never dated as such, there were always female Dhampir who were interested in spending time with me. I'd had several arrangements over the years. In another life, I suppose they might have become girlfriends, but things never got that far. Friends with benefits was probably a more apt description.

The last woman I'd had an understanding with was allocated overseas ten years ago. I was Head of the Guardian Council at the time, and it was impossible for me to enter into any new understanding. The potential imbalance of power, the possibility someone might be seeking personal gain through a physical relationship with me - it all just wasn't worth it.

But I was a man, and I had needs. Which is where Jennifer came into things. Jennifer was a Dhampir in her early forties. A beautiful woman, she was witty, intelligent and unfailing discreet. Which is how she came to have a group of regular 'gentleman callers.' She'd been recommended to me by a friend, and while I'd been hesitant to seek her out at first, eventually I had, and now every few months I'd pay her a visit.

I didn't like to think of her as a prostitute because in so many ways she wasn't. She was more like a paid girlfriend. A night with Jennifer wasn't just about sex. The evening would start with a delicious home-cooked meal and stimulating conversation as we'd share a bottle of wine. After that, she'd take her cues from me. Sometimes I wanted to watch a movie or take a bath. Sometimes we just cuddled and talked. Yes, we were usually intimate, but it wasn't about the sex as much as it was about being noticed by someone. Touched – even if I was paying her for the privilege.

Guardians visiting prostitutes was hardly a new thing. Court had a variety of establishments catering to all sorts of tastes and budgets. Not for the first time I pondered how unnatural it was for Guardians to live such solitary, lonely lives. Everyone needed the touch of another person sometimes, and heaven knows there'd be a lot less discontent and fewer altercations between Guardians if they had a different way to blow off steam occasionally!

While I enjoyed Jennifer's company, for some time now I'd wanted more. I wanted to wake up with a woman in my arms. To have a loving confidante. Even if we weren't public about things, I wanted to have someone I looked forward to seeing. Someone I could perhaps even spoil a little.

I sighed. There was no fool like an old fool. I was pushing fifty. Why would a beautiful, smart woman like Guardian Matthews be interested in me? I picked up my phone to call Rose and make an excuse not to come for Christmas.

"Rose? It's Art."

"Hi, Art! Can you believe how freezing it's got so quickly? I've had Dimitri out half the day splitting logs for the wood stoves," Rose chirped happily. God Dimitri was a lucky bastard. He really had it all. A gorgeous girl, a home and a family of his own.

"Yes it's unseasonably cold," I commented morosely. "I was just ringing about Christmas…"

If Rose had any indication I was ringing to cancel she didn't let on.

"I can't believe it's next week! I spoke to Celeste yesterday, and she's _so_ excited. This will be her first proper Christmas in years! She said she was hoping you'd still be able to show her around Court since she missed the opportunity at mid-year."

I couldn't help the surge of excitement at Celeste's name. Maybe there was a little interest there after all? I guess it wouldn't hurt to come to Christmas and find out. There'd be others there, so if it looked as though she wasn't feeling the same way, there'd be plenty of other people to spend time with. And a proper Christmas was appealing.

"I've taken the whole week off, so I'm sure I can find a day," I answered, trying not to let my excitement show in my voice. "Anyway – I was ringing to ask if there's anything I can bring for Christmas? Cooking for so many must be a burden, especially with a little one. Let me bring something."

"Oh Art, there's really no need. Dimitri and I have it all planned out. Is there anything you traditionally eat at Christmas?"

"Um… My German Oma used to make Lebkuchen and Stollen every Christmas. Lebkuchen are German biscuits, and Stollen is a traditional German spicy fruit and nut bread. Have you ever had either?"

"No I haven't – they sound good."

"They are," I said, remembering the Christmases of my childhood with goose, red cabbage and dumplings then the Lebkuchen and Stollen with tea. "I can make Lebkuchen, and I know a place where I can buy Stollen – how about I bring some of each?" I suggested.

"That sounds perfect thanks, Art! I was going to ring you today to remind you about the Secret Santa. Have you bought for your person?"

I had actually. I'd drawn Eddie Castile, and after some subtle inquiries, I'd discovered he was interested in Japanese fighting with knives. While a silver Tantō was _well_ outside the thirty-dollar spending limit, I was able to purchase a set of blunted practice Tantō for only a little over thirty dollars, so I'd be giving him those. However, the more significant part of the present was an invitation to join me meeting Master Kobayashi when he attended Court over summer to host a two-day Tantō knife-fighting seminar. While the stake was the weapon of choice for most Guardians, in Japan a silver Tantō was sometimes used. It was almost impossible to learn how to use one outside of Japan, so Castile should enjoy attending the seminar.

"I have, and I think they're going to love it," I said confidently.

Feeling happier after my call than before it, I decided a spot of shopping was in order. I should take a small gift for Rose as the hostess, and also a gift for the child. I wanted to pick up some more stylish jeans and pants, too. I was in uniform so often I didn't have a lot of casual clothes, and what I had felt dated. I'd like to pick up something for Celeste, too. If things did take a romantic turn, I'd like to have something for her.

* * *

"Milaya would you please come to bed? Everything is ready."

"I know," I grumbled. "It's just they've not seen the house before, and I want everything to be _perfect_. Did you stock the workshop flat with lots of logs? What about the flowers in Alberta's room? And do you think we'll have enough towels? There's a fresh set for everyone, but they dry so slowly over winter… I might pop up and borrow some from the big house tomorrow; Abe won't mind…"

We'd had our first snow of the season last week, and suddenly winter was here.

"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend? Since when do you stress about _towels?!_ " Dimitri laughed. "There are logs galore in the flat, I'll do the flowers in the morning, so they're fresh, then I'll pop up to the main house and get as many towels as you want. Now _come to bed!"_

I climbed into bed next to my Russian God. He looked tired. Of course, he'd had a busy day. The main house had been finished a fortnight ago, and Abe had officially moved in. This meant an additional six Guardians had joined the existing contingent living at the property. Dimitri had been keeping them busy redoing the weather stripping on the workshop unit; insulating the exposed pipework; shoveling and sanding the paths between the buildings; putting out the boot scrapers and brushes near the entry doors; raking the snow from the roofs, and wrapping the new fruit trees in the orchard to help them survive their first winter.

I expressed concern he might run out of ways to keep so many men busy, but Dimitri had just laughed. He assured me that coming from Siberia, he had a _never-ending_ list of physical exercise and home maintenance chores to keep the Guardians occupied.

"Like what?" I asked dubiously.

"Well, you know how I had them take down the flyscreens and doors a month back? Tomorrow they'll be cleaning and tightening the mesh on those."

"There's like a hundred of them!" I gasped, thinking of all the screens that had been taken down from the main house as well as the ones from the Guardian Quarters, the workshop and the cottage.

"Probably," Dimitri laughed. "But if you clean and tighten them every winter, they're ready to install in the spring. Plus you can mist the mesh and frames with a blend of essential oils to make them insect repellant. It's more eco-friendly than bug spray; it means no cobwebs on your frames and the air blowing through them makes the house smell pleasant in spring."

I had no idea how he knew all this, but something about my man's competence was _very_ sexy.

"Keep talking," I moaned. "What about the next day?"

My Russian God pulled me closer, kissing my neck as he whispered, "I thought I might keep them busy polishing in the main house with beeswax… The heating dries out timber in the winter months. It's a good time to apply polish to clean and protect the furniture and other woodwork…"

"Hmm... Sounds good, Comrade. And the day after that?!"

Dimitri was running his hands over me, stripping me of my pajama bottoms and tank top, his own already discarded.

"Well that's Christmas Day, so I thought I'd give them the day off, but the day after that they can check all the interior and exterior doors, tighten the screws, put graphite in the locks and polish all the door furniture."

"And the next day?" I gasped as Dimitri started rocking his thick manhood against my hip, his lips trailing kisses down the column of my neck.

"They can remove all the showerheads to clean them of sediment, clean the toilet water tanks, check the washers in taps and make sure the pipes are ok."

"Hmm. You've really thought about this, haven't you Guardian Belikov?" I said breathlessly.

"I have Guardian Hathaway," he murmured rubbing his face between my breasts. "Speaking of which, is there any _maintenance_ you need, milaya?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" I giggled, pulling him on top of me and trapping his warm, sensual lips with my own.


	67. Autumn, Reaping What We've Sown: Part 2

My hand was tapping the steering wheel nervously as I sat parked on the side of the Court's runway waiting for Abe Mazur's plane to land with Alberta and Celeste. Dimitri had explained the plane would be coming in full – once word of a flight heading to Court got around, several Guardians had taken the opportunity to hitch a ride. Mazur had also made seats available for Dhampir students from the area to come home to visit their families for Christmas – although I suspect it was probably Rose who suggested he extend the offer. Either way, it was a kindness; there were several excited looking Dhampir women here waiting for their children to land.

I was nervous as hell; had been all day. I'd had to go into Guardian Headquarters earlier, so had worn a pair of new cargos I'd bought and a fine knit sweater. I'd modeled what I'd purchased on what Belikov wore. I wasn't kidding myself I was a six-foot-seven wall of sexy Russian as he was, but I'd noticed Rose slowly making over the man's off-duty wardrobe, and this was the sort of casual wear she put him in. It was a modern look I thought I could pull off.

I'd shaved and showered carefully. Shined my shoes, ironed my clothes and dressed. And when I'd walked into Guardian headquarters the hilarity had been immediate. The worst thing was, I had no idea _why._ I walked through headquarters hearing sniggers until I made my way to Erskine's office. I felt like such a fool. Mutton dressed as lamb. What the _hell_ had I been thinking?

I could see Esme's lips twitching as I flung myself into a chair waiting for Mitchell. An unpromised Dhampir around my age, Esme had been my secretary and continued working for Mitchell once I'd stepped down as Chair of the Council. While we'd always had a professional relationship, we'd also known one another long enough to be honest with each other.

"What's so funny? After this, I finally have time off, so I have a chance to wear something casual, alright?!"

Esme looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry, you're right Art. It's just I've never seen cargos with a _pleat_ ironed down the front. It's the least casual casual outfit I've seen," she explained.

"Oh. I only bought them the other day – I didn't realize they weren't worn that way," I said, my face flaming.

Perceptive, Esme probably had an idea I was trying to impress someone.

"Other than being a bit… starched… it's a really good look on you, Art," she complimented me. "Try taking off your belt and untucking your sweater." I did so immediately, and she smiled. She stood up and walked towards me. "May I?" she asked pointing to my hair.

I nodded. In for a dime, in for a dollar. She messed up my neat hair slightly, opening the bottom drawer of her desk to pull out a handbag sized tin of hairspray. She sprayed a bit in my hair – setting it in a casually tousled style.

"If you have time, put the cargos in the dryer for ten minutes. They'll still be wrinkle-free, but it will get rid of that pleat," she advised kindly. "And for future, jeans and cargos don't have pleats, both are usually worn more on the hips these days, shirts and sweaters are mostly worn tight but out, and a slightly messy look for hair or a bit of stubble looks sexy on a man."

"Thanks. I'm going to stay with friends for the holidays. It's been a long time since I've needed a week's worth of casual clothes, so I had to buy some new stuff," I mumbled.

"It suits you, Art. Lose the iron, and don't stress it if you go a day or two without shining your shoes or shaving. You're a sexy man – she'll love it!"

"What makes you think I'm doing this for a woman?" I asked indignantly, scrunching the legs of my pants in my hands to try and obscure the crease.

"Oh honey, a man only ever spruces up his look like this for a lady," she said with an indulgent smile.

I was saved the indignity of any further conversation by Erskine's arrival.

"Enjoy your week off, Art," Esme teased, her lilting voice echoing through the doorway as I followed Mitchell into his office.

"Thanks," I mumbled disconcertedly.

Esme had finished for the day when I departed, but as I walked back through the corridors, I was relieved to notice my appearance was no longer a cause for mirth.

Back at my quarters I quickly unpacked my duffel, pulling out my ironed cargos and jeans and throwing them into the dryer. Shaking and refolding them I packed them back into my duffel. Standing in front of the mirror, I had to admit Esme had done a good job on my hair. I still felt foolish, but it was too late to back out now. I opened the small jeweler's case, looking again at the bracelet I'd bought to give to Celeste. Heaven knows whether I'd have a chance to give it to her, but if not then in the New Year I was going to put myself out there and find someone special. I'd been a Guardian for thirty years. Moroi had always come first, and they still would. But I believed I'd earned some companionship.

I'd walked to the vehicle depot, picking up one of the top-of-the-line new SUVs. While cars were allegedly allocated randomly, my name generally commanded respect. A less senior Guardian signing a vehicle out for a week of personal use would be given the use of some old junker if their request were granted at all. But there was a scrupulously clean new SUV with a full tank of gas waiting for me.

"Will you need chains?" an obsequious young Guardian asked me. Even in the ignoble ranks of Court guarding, the motor pool was at the lower end of the pecking order.

"No, I don't think so Guardian…?"

"Aylett. Blake Aylett, Sir."

"Ahh, yes. I thought you looked familiar. You're the one who attacked Hathaway when she was pregnant, aren't you?"

"I didn't know she was pregnant at the time," he mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Still a very unmanly act."

"If she'd been any sort of a Guardian she should have been able to defend herself against me," he muttered petulantly.

I bristled.

"If _you'd_ been any sort of a Guardian she wouldn't have had to. Making a stupid mistake is not a problem, an inability to own responsibility for it is more telling. Unless you want to be Guardian wash, vacuum, and polish for the rest of your career, I'd think on that young man. It's never too late to turn over a new leaf."

"But everyone thinks of me as the guy who nearly cost Rose her baby," he said, sounding defeated. "Even people who didn't go to St. Vlad's!"

"Then give them a reason to think about you differently. And if anyone asks you about what happened with Rose, own it. Tell them you did it, you know you were an idiot, you're grateful there was no lasting damage, and you'd like the chance to prove it was a moment of stupidity and not typical of you as a person."

"Do you really think it's possible to move on from something like that?" There was hope in his voice and face.

"Son, a very senior Guardian I know once stole one of the Queen's cars while he was drunk and drove it into the fountain outside the Palace during a royal banquet. If he could get past that, I'm sure there's hope for you too" I told him, slinging my duffel into the back of the SUV. "I probably won't need chains, but put them in the trunk anyway. Better safe than sorry."

"Yes, Sir. And thank you, Sir."

My hand was still tapping. The plane was due any minute now. I was fiddling with the radio. I didn't know what to put on. I usually listened to an easy rock station, but it was probably a little old for Celeste. But I didn't know any of the modern stuff, and after ironing the cargos, I certainly didn't want to look like I was trying too hard again. I was about to turn the radio off altogether when I came across a station whose jingle claimed they played the best of the 80s, 90s through to today. That sounded generic enough.

I kept checking my watch. They were five minutes late when I saw the plane lining up with the runway and landing before taxying over towards the small terminal. Little more than a single roomed building filled with chairs, its sole purpose was to record arrivals and departures from Court. I switched off the engine and walked into the terminal in time to see a bunch of kids depart the plane, running across the snowy gravel towards their excited families. Next were a handful of Guardians, looking relaxed in anticipation of a few days R and R away from the Academy. Finally, Celeste stepped from the plane.

Clad in a fur-trimmed waist length leather jacket, tight jeans, and a soft pink tight fluffy sweater, she was pulling a matching pink beanie over her hair and laughing. I was so busy staring at her I barely noticed Alberta following her down the stairs. They were both shouldering duffel bags, so shaking myself out of my daydream, I stepped out into the weather to greet them, offering to take their bags.

"I can carry my own bag you know," Alberta grumbled.

"Oh shut it, Petrov," I laughed. "We're all off-duty – let a man be a gent and carry your bag, alright?" I said, smiling and reaching for Celeste's, too. I showed the ladies to the car.

"You take the front, Celeste," Alberta said, "I want to stretch this leg out in the back."

"War wound?" I asked, noticing Alberta limping slightly.

"Hardly," she grumbled. "I was taken down by a wet linoleum floor outside my office! I'll be ok – my pride is more damaged than my knee!"

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," I laughed. "Celeste? Did you have a comfortable flight?"

"Did I ever," she laughed. "I'd barely sat down when they started serving Alberta and me vodka cocktails, courtesy of Rose. She told the flight crew we were VIPs, and we were to be spoiled. Even the food was excellent!"

"It was fun," Alberta laughed. "Everyone was in good spirits. A lot of those kids don't usually get to come home for Christmas. It's too short a holiday, so it's not worth the expense. So how far is it to the property?"

"Twenty minutes from the gates. Who've you put in charge while you're away?" I asked her curiously.

"Townsend and Alto," she said. "One week each. They were the only two keen," she admitted. "You know, I think this is the longest holiday I've ever taken from the Academy. I took a month and a half a couple of years back, but that was to go to St. Basil's for a conference and then to cover for Demyen while he was on leave." She gave a sigh. "I can't wait to see Ivan… I bet he's _huge_ now!"

"Alberta's a very fond surrogate Grandma," Celeste explained. "She demands new photos from Rose every week and updates her screensaver with pictures of Ivan. All the Guardians know not even to _attempt_ asking for a favor before admiring the baby pics."

"I'm not that bad," Alberta grumbled from the back seat.

"She is," Celeste mouthed, hiding her mouth from Alberta with her hand, giving me a smile and a jovial wink.

"I hope Rose has somewhere ready for us to sleep," Alberta groaned. "I've been so busy the last week; I want to cuddle my little man, have a cup of tea then sleep!"

"What about you – are you tired, Celeste?" I asked, trying not to sound in any way suggestive. If she wasn't too tired, it might give us a good time to chat a little.

"No more than usual," she said with a smile.

I smiled to myself. Now all I needed was a little luck to get a few minutes alone with her. The airstrip was on the same side of Court as the gate I needed to get to the property, so we were there before we knew it.

"Wow – this is certainly something," Celeste said, eyes wide as I pulled into the driveway. We were stopped by two Guardians who had been shoveling the driveway.

Checking our credentials, we were soon given admittance.

"Proceed down the driveway to the right," one intoned. "Park beside the van. You'll be met there."

I drove slowly, giving Celeste and Alberta a chance to admire Rose and Dimitri's domain. Despite several days of snow, the driveway and paths were completely clear and sanded. Not that I expected any less of Belikov. He ran a tight ship. Coming around a small bend, the cottage and workshop were revealed. Roofs covered in snow, chimneys puffing smoke it looked like a scene from the front of a Christmas card! And there on the porch were Rose and Dimitri.

"Come inside, Rose has the kettle on," Belikov said, lifting the tail of the SUV almost before I'd pulled up, shouldering one duffel and lifting the two others, one in each hand.

"Where's my little man?" Alberta squealed, giving Rose a huge cuddle before relinquishing her so Celeste could do the same.

"He's upstairs. I think he must know you're coming because he's been fighting his sleep all day. He's due up any moment," Rose explained. "Now get inside so I can show you the house my man built!"

For the next ten minutes, Rose showed us around her home. I had to hand it to Belikov; he'd done a _hell_ of a job. The place was magnificent.

"Rose, your home is beautiful," Alberta complimented.

"It's all thanks to Dimitri," she said, wrapping her arms around Belikov's waist. "I'm a very lucky girl."

"I'm the lucky one, milaya," he said, brushing his lips against hers. I internally sighed. It was impossible to see those two and not want for just a little bit of something like that for yourself.

After admiring their bedroom, Rose showed Alberta to the guest room, and then a cry alerted them the baby was awake.

"Want to check out the barbecue?" Belikov laughed as Rose opened the door to the nursery and the ladies disappeared inside.

"Do I get a choice?" I chuckled, following him downstairs and out a door off the living room. Admiring the setup for ten minutes, we returned inside to find Rose pouring tea and serving biscuits while Alberta and Celeste fussed over Ivan.

I sat beside Dimitri, perpendicular to where Celeste and Rose were sitting, so I could observe her while speaking with Dimitri. Again it looked as though she might be giving me an occasional look, but it was hard to tell. When Alberta failed to cover a stifled yawn, Rose declared it was time everyone retired to their rooms.

"Comrade? I'll show Art and Celeste to their rooms. Can you get Alberta settled and then feed Ivan? I've got a bottle of expressed milk in the fridge – just nuke it for 15 seconds and then swirl it to make sure there are no hot spots."

Walking back to the entryway where Belikov had left our bags I grabbed both and followed Rose outside. She walked to the workshop next door and up an outside set of stairs.

"Dimitri has the Guardians clearing and sanding these twice a day, but be careful," Rose warned, showing us into a flat above the workshop. "I hope you don't mind being in here? I know you're changing to human time, and I thought it would be quieter than the Guardian Quarters. There are a couple of bedrooms – I'll leave you to fight it out who gets which," she laughed.

"There's a platter of fruits, meats, nuts, and cheeses over there. Just have whatever you feel like. The key to the cottage is on the tray, too – so let yourself in as you need. Finally, it gets _really_ cold in here if you don't keep the wood burner running, but Dimitri's got lots of seasoned logs ready. I've also put a heater on in the main bedroom. I'll see you when you surface tomorrow," she said, giving Celeste a quick kiss on the cheek and me a friendly nod before letting herself out of the unit.

I couldn't believe my luck. Time alone with Celeste! I dumped our bags near the entryway, and we each shed our cold, wet combat boots by the door. We could figure out rooms in a minute.

"This is better than any Guardian Quarters I've stayed in," I laughed a little nervously looking around.

"Me too," Celeste said, clearly impressed. "Fancy something to eat?" she asked bringing the laden tray from the kitchenette and placing it on the coffee table. As well as nuts, fruits and cheeses there was a bottle of red wine and two glasses. "And perhaps a glass of wine?"

"Only if you'll join me," I said dropping down on one end of the sofa, taking the bottle and bottle opener, waiting for her response.

"We've waited quite a while for that quiet drink together," Celeste said with a smile, seating herself at the other end of the sofa. "Let's do it now before we're interrupted again!"

I poured us each a glass, leaning forward to toast.

"To new friendships," I said, smiling at her. We clinked glasses, leaning back and savoring the wine. She sat at the other end of the sofa, her feet resting on the leather between us. We were silent, enjoying the quiet. I let my eyes caress her bare feet. Smooth and well kept, the painted toenails were an unexpected nod to her femininity. I idly wondered whether she employed such feminine ministrations on other parts of her anatomy.

"Are you sleepy?" I asked, more as a way to break the silence.

"Not really, but I might go freshen up," she said giving me a look that seemed to mean something. I just wished I were _sure_. I wanted to pull her onto my lap and kiss her. To tell her I found her fascinating.

"Let me get your bag," I volunteered, picking up her duffel. I went to one room and opened the door and then the other. The difference was chalk and cheese. In one room was a single bedstead laden with handmade quilts. The door having been closed it was arctic in there, as little of the warmth of the main room had seeped in. The second room had an enormous king-sized bed. The heater Rose had mentioned was switched on, and while the room wasn't hot, it would be warm enough beneath the many handmade quilts. I put Celeste's bag down on the bed.

"I'll just leave you to it," I said solicitously, going back out into the main room to get my bag and put it in the second bedroom.

"Art! You can't sleep in there! It's freezing," she gasped, looking at the spartan accommodations of the second bedroom.

"I'll be fine," I said. "It's not even close to the coldest place I've had to sleep," I told her honestly.

"Still – you'll be shivering all night," she objected.

"I'll take the sofa, then. It's enormous and comfortable," I countered.

"Don't be silly. I'll take the sofa, you take the main bedroom," she offered.

"Chance would be a fine thing!" I growled, "There's no way I'll let a beautiful woman sleep on a sofa while I float around in a king-sized bed! _I'll_ take the couch!"

"Well, there is another solution. It's only 2 pm, and it's already cold. It's going to be a _lot_ colder by the time night falls, and it's forecast to snow tonight. We're both adults, and like you said, the bed is huge. Why don't we share it? We could help keep each other warm…"

Ok. That was a pretty clear invitation. Even I didn't think there was much room for misinterpreting the meaning behind her words – and her slightly nervous expression further supported my suspicions. I cautiously took a step toward her.

"Would you like me to keep you warm, Celeste?" I asked, my voice low and husky; my eyes dropping from hers to where her lips were parted breathlessly.

"Art – I've been thinking about you keeping me warm since this time _last_ year," she moaned, stepping forward and closing the distance between us before wrapping her arms around my neck and bringing her lips to mine.

* * *

 _Finally!_ My body melted into his as our lips met. I felt his strong hands grip me around my waist, as my fingers stroked his promise mark and many molnija on the back of his neck. Now he had his green light, gone was any uncertainty or hesitation. Art Schoenberg was known as a decisive man of action and power, and he wasted no time showing me what that meant when it came to being with a woman.

His lips were firm but demanding against mine, his little guttural growls thrilling me with their sybaritic promise. Pulling my body tighter against his own, his hands started to wander; proprietarily exploring my curves. I moaned into his mouth, ceding to his unspoken demands. His hands back at my waist Art lifted me effortlessly onto the bed, placing me in the middle of the soft layers of quilts.

"You're exquisite, Celeste," Art complimented, looking at me covetously. "I want to worship every part of you."

His eyes held mine captive; I couldn't escape his commanding gaze. Sitting amidst my quilted cocoon, I slowly removed my jacket and knitted sweater, unveiling one of Victoria's most alluring secrets. A lace push-up bra in Candy Apple Red. If my kisses hadn't already verified my acquiescence, this lingerie did.

Art's gaze dropped to my bosom, his eyes unapologetically taking their time caressing my breasts. Apparently deciding my presentation warranted a rejoinder, Art pulled his fine knit sweater from his body, revealing his broad chest. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me as I looked at his torso. He had the tight, lean musculature that marked him as a man long used to physical exertion. Age had found no purchase here. Art was a virile man, and his scorching stare was attestation to his erotic intentions.

I kneeled on the bed, approaching where he stood at its edge. Leaning forward, I lowered my lips to the patch of hair on his chest, kissing it reverently before running the tip of my nose through it. Meanwhile, my hands were occupied finding the button at the waistband of his cargos. Releasing it with a pop, my hand trailed downwards, lightly skimming over the hardness contained within his briefs. He grabbed my hand gently but firmly at the wrist. Waiting for me to bring my eyes to his, he softly shook his head, placing my hand flat against his hardness before putting his hand on top of mine; pushing his clothed erection against my palm. I groaned jubilantly, elated to find _that_ part, like every other Art had displayed so far, promising satisfaction.

"Take your jeans off," Art ordered. His tone brooked no refusal, yet it wasn't an imperious demand. It was an instruction from a man used to being obeyed without question in every aspect of his life. My eyes fixed on his I unbuttoned my fly, shimmying my jeans down over my hips and to my knees before I sat back on the bed. I was about to continue peeling them from my person when he grasped them near my ankles, wresting them from me in one fell swoop. I saw him take in my sheer, lacy thong with pleasure.

"I like you in lace," he murmured approvingly, running one hand up my shin and to my knee. I watched transfixed as he ran his deft fingers back down to my toes before removing his hand from me, using it to help pull down his cargos, stepping out of them. He was wearing black y-front fitted men's trunks. Stopping at the top of his thighs, once I was able to drag my eyes away from the large bulge they concealed, I noticed how nicely they showcased his thick, powerful legs.

Both now clad only in underwear, Art climbed next to me on the bed; lying beside me as his eyes raked up and down my body. He must have liked what he saw, because he grasped my waist, pushing me onto my back. Thrusting his knee hard against my barely covered core, he rested most of his weight on his hands as he leaned down and kissed me. It was the freaking hottest pushup ever. He held himself there seemingly effortlessly; a shameless, yet possibly unconscious display of his control.

Whimpering with need, I pulled him on top of me, loving when he rested more of his weight against me, his thick shaft pressing into my leg. I rocked beneath him, wrapping my arms around him firmly.

He laughed softly.

"Are you always so impatient?" he teased.

"Art, I've been waiting a year. If I have to wait much longer, I'm going to self-combust!" I groaned.

His rich, warm chuckle brought a smile to my lips.

Pulling himself off me and sitting back on his heels, he held out his hand. Putting mine within his, he pulled me into a sitting position. He kissed me with increasing fervor, his hands busy with the clasp of my bra. Moments later I felt him pulling the straps down my arms.

He pushed me back firmly, causing a gasp to escape my lips as his lips attacked my breasts, taking turns in kissing and nipping at each. I had my hands in his hair. It wasn't long enough to snake my fingers through, so I tugged on it roughly as I rocked my hips beneath him. Making his way up my neck to my lips again, he was kissing me hard.

And then his lips were gone, and so was his weight. Sitting up again, he was taking off my panties, carefully pulling them over each leg. That's something else I liked. Those delicate pieces of lace were _expensive_. I liked that he didn't shred them off me. He ran his hands up my legs, bending them at the knees and propping them open. He was kissing up my inner thigh before I realized what he was going to do.

I propped myself up on my elbows smiling at him. I _loved_ being licked, but it wasn't something I'd got to enjoy all that often. Casual lovers tended not to indulge a female partner in that way, and my first boyfriend had shown scant regard for prolonging the sexual experience or anything else relating to my pleasure. But so far Art appeared to be a very different kettle of fish. Single-minded, driven and focused, I had a suspicion that right now, Guardian Schoenberg's solitary goal was my unbridled gratification.

His growl of arousal as he ran his tongue the length of my slit was thrilling, as was the take-no-prisoners way he took to the task at hand. Within minutes I'd collapsed back against the bedding, moaning uncontrollably as Art used his mouth and fingers to bring me right to the precipice of delight. Curling his fingers inside me, he was stroking my inner wall rhythmically as his digits plunged in and out of my cleft. Getting faster as I got louder, his tongue was lapping furiously at my sensitive nub. Finally, I could take no more – coming hard around his fingers, I was biting on my thumb to try and silence my triumphant howling, but he reached up and pulled my hand from my mouth. Licking my quivering nub gently, he helped prolong my orgasm before using my legs to help push himself up into a sitting position.

"Never silence yourself, Celeste. Hearing a woman's enjoyment is very satisfying for a man."

I smiled at him completely in awe. A man turned on by turning on a woman? Yeah – I could cope with that!

The bulge at Art's crotch was painfully apparent, and I thought I might return the oral attention. I was sitting up to reach forward and stroke him, but he pushed me back against the mattress, wordlessly urging me to stay where I was. I licked my lips, watching in anticipation as he lowered his trunks to reveal his manhood. I smiled – boasting a slightly above average length, what really set Art apart was his girth. Not thick enough to frighten but certainly enough to excite. Oh God – _please_ let him know how to use that bad boy, I silently prayed, already anticipating how good having him within me was going to feel.

An hour later and four orgasms in, I was almost incoherent. I had _never_ had sex like this. Every time I came, I thought he must be about to let go as well, but he'd change positions and start to build me up to another climax. Starting out on top between my legs, he'd slid inch after delicious inch into me until I wrapped my legs around behind his back. Then he'd moved me into doggy style to take me from behind. After that, he took me on my back again, this time him standing at the edge of the bed using one hand to anchor me as his other hand stimulated my breasts and clit.

That he was sexually dominating was undeniable. I was accustomed to a fumbled 'is this ok?' or 'do you like this?' before a man would settle in and race towards his finish. But while Art hadn't once asked me how I wanted it, somehow by passing control to him I felt more in charge than ever. I had no doubt if I told Art I didn't enjoy something or suggested something different, he'd be all ears. But he was obviously a lot more experienced than I, so I was happy to defer to his expertise.

Sitting me in his lap as he kneeled on the bed, still buried within me, he was kissing me testingly.

"Do you think you have one more for me, little star? Can you cum again?"

I giggled.

"I'm not sure… I can _try_."

"Cum with me Celeste. Please?" he moaned as he rocked himself up into me, his thumb stroking my almost oversensitized nub.

I grasped his shoulders, steadying myself so I could flex into his thrusts. It was slower than before, yet somehow just as satisfying. I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to do it, but after all his solicitous attentions, I'd do my very best to achieve the only thing he'd asked for himself. So closing my eyes, I concentrated on the feelings he was giving me. I leaned back as he brought his lips back to my breasts, alternating between my soft, womanly globes. And as he nipped at one I came apart a final time.

"Oh God, Art!" I shouted as I clenched around his shaft.

His grunts of release were my only response as his thick hard cock finally found release within me. His eyes closed, his head thrown back, he seemed to cum for ages; I could feel the spasms wrack his body as he clasped me hard against him. I wrapped my sweaty arms around him, stroking his beautiful, giving body. Coming back to me, he pulled his cock out of my channel, guiding me back onto the bed his arms still around me.

He smiled, taking in my satiated expression.

"Celeste, you are magnificent," he said admiringly.

"Says the man who just made me cum _five times_ …" I laughed, my fingers idly tracing little patterns in his chest hair. "Art I've never had a man make love to me like that!"

"In a good way or a bad way?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh hell - in a _good_ way!" I laughed, still a little giddy from back to back orgasms. "You've given me more pleasure in the last hour or two than I think I've had in the last ten years combined."

"I think I could say the same thing. You're a breathtaking woman, Celeste. A man would be an idiot not to want to bring you pleasure in any way he could."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I guess we were now in that awkward post-sex 'what the hell do we do now' moment. In a casual hook up, this would be the stage where one of us would go to use the bathroom, the other taking the opportunity to get dressed and claim the need to sleep in their own bed due to an upcoming shift. But while I wanted to use the shower, I didn't want this little bubble of togetherness to end. So I said nothing, just running my hands soothingly over his body.

"Celeste?" he said a little hesitantly.

Here it comes. 'Thanks, that was good, but you understand why it can only be a once off,' or maybe 'That was a mistake, let's pretend it never happened.'

"I don't usually have sex for the first time with a woman in these sort of circumstances, so if there's an etiquette for this kind of thing, forgive me, but I don't know what it is. I'm a straightforward man, so I'm going to be blunt about this. I like you. I enjoy our conversations; I think you're a beautiful, sexy, vibrant, intelligent woman and I savor spending time with you. If you think you might start to feel the same way about me and be interested in something more than just sex, I'd like to take these next few days to explore where this might go. I don't want to pressure you, and just say the word, and I shan't mention this again. Just let me know," he said, starting to pull away from me.

I shushed him, putting my finger up to his lips while pulling him back towards me with my other arm.

"Art, I _already_ feel the same way. I want to spend time with you and see what happens," I told him shyly.

Art's smile was glorious. "Then shower with me, little star? I know it's greedy, but I like touching your body…"

"I think a shower together might be wise. I'm not sure I'll be able to stand up without help," I told him, only partially in jest.

* * *

I woke to find Celeste wrapped around me. We'd been asleep fifteen hours, but we'd needed it. Changing to human time was always tricky. After our shower together last night she'd climbed into bed naked, pulling me in beside her. I could probably count the number of times I'd slept naked on the one hand, but with her beside me, it seemed natural to have nothing between us. She'd been right – it had snowed overnight, and the room was decidedly chilly this morning. Careful not to wake her, I slipped out of bed, using the bathroom and then restocking the wood-burning stove in the living room. I slipped back into bed, smiling as Celeste rolled her warm body against me. Her eyes opened with a start.

"Art! You're freezing!" she admonished lazily, her hair sleep-tousled. She looked sexy as hell.

"Sorry. I got up to use the bathroom and restock the wood stove," I explained. "If you give it twenty minutes it will be warmer."

"I can't wait, I'm busting!" she laughed, rolling out of bed and streaking to the bathroom. Racing back into the bedroom, she dove back under the covers.

"I thought the whole idea of you sleeping here was so you could keep me warm?" she said.

"Yes?" I replied, pretending I had no idea of what she was hinting at.

"Well… Get on with it!" she giggled, pulling herself close to me and kissing my neck.

* * *

"Why didn't you drop off the breakfast tray, Comrade?" Rose asked as I returned to the kitchen still carrying the full tray. "Did you clear the stairs of snow? Were they still asleep?"

"Yes I did," I said. "And no they weren't."

"Then why didn't you drop off the tray? Are they coming over here for breakfast instead?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't ask," I said, putting the tray back on the counter and walking to pour myself another coffee in consternation.

"Honestly Comrade. What's up with you?"

"Well I put the tray down on the doorstep and opened the door to the unit, but our old bedroom door wasn't closed…"

"And? That doesn't matter – you know you can't see into that room from the front door. You could still have slipped it in…"

I nearly choked at Rose's unconscious choice of words.

"I didn't think it was a good idea."

"Why not?" Rose demanded.

"Because the bed was creaking, and Celeste was moaning 'Oh Art, you make me feel so good!' that's why!" I snapped. "I didn't think they'd appreciate the interruption or knowing anyone had overheard."

"No probably not," Rose giggled, wrapping her arms around me, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Did you know about this, milaya?" I asked suspiciously.

"Did I know Celeste and Art were having sex this morning? No, of course not! I wouldn't have sent you over there with a tray if I thought you'd catch them doing it!"

I looked at my girlfriend carefully.

"But you knew it was a possibility?"

"Honestly I thought it would take them a few more days, but yes – I suspected they liked each other."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"You're incorrigible!" I accused.

"I am, but that's why you love me," she laughed, lifting herself up onto the countertop and wrapping her legs and arms around me as she kissed me liberally.

And, of course, she was right.


	68. Autumn, Reaping What We've Sown: Part 3

"Morning!" I chirped happily, as Celeste and Art let themselves into the cottage via one of the French doors that opened from the back deck into the living room. "Sleep ok?"

"Slept wonderfully, thanks," Art said looking a little awkward.

"Good! I was worried it might have been too cold. Don't be shy to say so if it was – I can move you into Guardian quarters if you're not comfy there."

"Everything's perfect, thanks, Rose," Celeste quickly added.

"Good! Well, you're just in time for breakfast – Dimitri's cooking aren't you Comrade? Art maybe you could give him a hand? I'll just get the little man for his morning feed. Celeste – can you pour me a coffee? We can sit out on the porch swing while I feed and catch up."

I bundled Ivan in his blankets and grabbed a couple of quilts for Celeste and I. The porch was the perfect space to talk, and we wouldn't be overheard. Also, I found that Ivan squirmed a lot if I fed inside with other people around, but if it was chilly, he was happy to cuddle against me and enjoy a nice long feed.

Celeste appeared with our coffees, and I tossed her one of the quilts to wrap around herself.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well, what?" she countered, blushing a very pretty pink.

"Well, Dimitri was going to drop off a breakfast tray this morning, but when he heard you calling out about how good Art made you feel, he decided you might prefer to come across here instead."

Celeste swore loudly.

"You don't think he'll say something to Art, do you?" she moaned.

"Celeste? I think he'd rather walk over hot coals than think about it or mention it again," I giggled, and after a moment she joined me. "So…?"

"Oh. My. God, Rose! I can't even _tell_ you how fantastic a lover he is!"

"So how did it all happen?" I asked, wanting to hear all the thrilling details.

"Well, we had a glass of wine each, and then I said I'd go freshen up. We sussed out the rooms, and he insisted I take the big one. I said he'd be cold so he said he'd take the couch. I then suggested we could share the bed and that we could _keep each other warm_."

"Celeste!" I hissed. "You naughty girl!"

"I had to kind of spell it out. I think the poor guy is a little out of practice with reading the signs for that sort of thing," she explained.

"As long as he's not out of practice with something else?!" I quipped.

"No. _No_ complaints in that department! Rose he was a-maaaaaaaa-zing! He was so in control. He'd move me where he wanted me, and we went for over an hour! Every time I'd cum, he'd change us into a different position and start all over again."

"How many times did he make you cum?" I asked giving her a raised eyebrow look.

"Five times," she smiled blissfully. "It's like the man just lives to pleasure a woman."

"And this was all this morning?" I gasped.

"No. That was yesterday afternoon. Then we slept for hours, and then we did it again this morning."

I giggled. Celeste _looked_ like a woman who'd been inundated with orgasms. She was relaxed, happy and glowing.

"So did you have a chance to talk between all this sexing? Is it just sex or does he want something more?"

"He said he likes me and he wants to see how things go during the week here. I told him I liked him too and he looked thrilled."

"So did you raise the 'what now' or did he?" I asked.

"He did. We were lying in bed after _you know_ and he said he was a straightforward man, that he liked me and that if I were interested in something beyond just sex he'd like to take the week to 'see where things might lead.'"

"And how do you feel about that?" I probed, watching her carefully.

"I love the idea," she admitted. "Don't laugh, but when I woke up this morning, it just felt so _right_ to be beside him. It's not like I'm a virgin, but I've never felt that before."

I gave her a huge smile.

"I understand, Celeste… I felt the same way the first time I woke up beside Dimitri."

Ivan had finished at one breast, so I switched sides, and Celeste and I continued chatting. We were on to gossip from St. Vlad's when Art stuck his head out the front door and told us breakfast was ready.

"Perfect timing!" I said, passing Ivan to Celeste as I straightened up my top. Nothing worse than exposing yourself to one of your boyfriend's Guardian friends, as I discovered early on in my breastfeeding journey when I'd inadvertently flashed Kirk while I was trying to switch sides!

"Here's my little man!" Alberta crowed as I walked in with Celeste and Art. "Come to Grandma Bertie!"

He didn't say anything, but I could see my Russian God was feeling a little put out. We usually shared the playtime and cuddles after a feed if he was home. Dimitri liked the opportunity to enjoy his son. It was also the reason I'd started expressing breast milk every now and again – so Ivan would get used to taking a bottle but also so Dimitri could enjoy the lovely warm feeding cuddles sometimes.

We'd all just sat down to breakfast when Pavel and Abe climbed the stairs onto the back deck and let themselves in through one of the French doors.

"Hmm, bacon," Abe said, flashing a toothy smile. "Any of that left over?"

I laughed. Anytime we were doing a breakfast cookup, Abe was sure to appear, so we always cooked extra.

"Check the warmer, there are extras of everything there," I said, nodding to Pavel as well.

Serving themselves, they joined us at the oversized farmhouse table. Abe looked like he wanted to demand a cuddle with Ivan, but knew from Alberta's defiant look he had no chance of wresting him from her grasp. She was admittedly doing a marvelous job of cradling Ivan in one arm while eating her breakfast with the other hand.

"Alberta you get Ivan until his nap time, Comrade you can put him down and give him his next feed when he wakes up, and Abe you get him for the next after-nap play," I said, looking at the three of them sternly.

Celeste laughed, looking at three suitably chastised and penitent faces.

"You tell them, Rose," she laughed.

"I'm just practicing for tomorrow. Janine likes to get her fair share of Ivan cuddles, and Lissa's only seen him once and has already told me she's dying to see him again. Not to mention Mase and Eddie who are taking their roles as uncles pretty seriously. Mason is all thumbs, but Eddie's a natural, he'd make a brilliant father."

There was an awkward pause. It was rarely spoken about, but as a rule Dhampir men didn't get a chance to experience fatherhood, although I suspect given a chance many might want to.

Art rescued the conversation by telling me about his conversation with Blake Aylett.

"Is that where he ended up?" Dimitri said, suddenly all ears. "I've wanted to have a chat with him." The way he said 'chat' made it clear Dimitri's fists would be doing the talking.

"Oh leave him alone," I said dismissively. "The guy has ended up working in the motor pool. I think he's been punished enough! Why do they even have Guardians in those roles?" I asked Art. "I mean, you hardly need to be a Guardian to wash and wax a car and sign it in and out."

"It's a stupid waste of resources, I agree," Art said. "But we can't get any other workers. Moroi won't work in service roles like that, and rent is too expensive at Court to employ a Dhampir to do it. Their whole wage would go on rent."

"Yeah, that's true. That was the problem when we were looking to rent if Dimitri took a Court allocation," I mused.

"How does Esme manage it?" Dimitri asked curiously.

"Her Moroi father bought her a home on the outskirts of Court. She rents out her two spare bedrooms," Art explained.

"So what other roles could be staffed by non-Guardians if you had a pool of suitable workers?" I asked.

"All sorts of things," Art said. "Off the top of my head? Motor pool, ninety percent of filing, records and clerical, most of the work of the allocations board, stores and provisions, cleaning – there's heaps of things."

"Freeing up all those Guardians would make a lot more Guardians available for active roles," I mused.

"Yes – although some of those in those roles are injured Guardians who can no longer do field work," Art cautioned.

"What percentage are you talking? Ten? Twenty percent?" I asked.

"Maybe ten? It's not a lot." Art didn't have to explain why. An injured Guardian usually ended up a dead Guardian.

"So ninety percent of Guardians in those roles are essentially wasted," I exclaimed. " _This_ is what annoys me. With a bit of support and training, Dhampir women could take on these tasks. Imagine if a Dhampir woman had a choice other than Guardianship or motherhood?! Or if some of those jobs could be adapted to suit a working mother's schedule? Surely as a society, we could offer Dhampir mothers something other than sex work as a way to support themselves and their kids?" I growled. "Or, hell, give female Guardians a way to re-enter the workforce if they have a baby!"

"I don't think it's that simple. I understand your case is a little different," Art said, looking at Dimitri meaningfully, "but I think other Dhampir women who become mothers are doing it out of choice. They know their options, and they make their choices. I doubt any of them who were Guardian trained would _want_ to return to work. I suspect some choose it as an easy way of getting out of their Guardian duties."

I could see Celeste getting more and more incensed with every word Art said.

"That is _such bullshit!"_ she snapped before slamming down her cutlery on her plate and standing up. Her eyes were flashing furiously as she sought an escape.

"Use my room," Alberta advised, as Celeste furiously left the table. Then Alberta turned to Art, giving it to him with both barrels.

"Art, you clearly have _no idea_ what you're talking about. I suggest you shut up now before you offend at least half of the people sitting here. And for heaven's sake, don't espouse these views tomorrow unless you want to be on the receiving end of a Janine Hathaway explosion!"

Dimitri and Pavel looked confused. Abe appeared ever so slightly amused. Art looked troubled – he knew he'd grievously offended Celeste, but not how.

"I'll go," I said, giving Alberta a knowing look.

"No. I will," Art said standing up. "I've apparently offended Celeste with my thoughtless words. I'll apologize," he said, putting down his cutlery carefully and standing up. "Excuse me," he said tightly.

* * *

"Celeste?"

I'd expected Alberta or Rose, but as I lay on Alberta's bed crying my heart out, it was Art's voice at the door.

"Go away," I moaned into the bed, my tears starting anew. I'd been an idiot to think a man would understand everything that had happened. The choices I'd had to make because of Stella.

"Please," he said, sounding tortured. "Whatever I said, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry for saying what you think," I wailed.

"If it's made you feel like this I do," he said, sitting on the bed beside me. "Please, Celeste. I don't like seeing you upset. Please let me comfort you."

I couldn't answer him. All I wanted was his strong arms around me, but when he heard about Stella, the last thing he'd want to do was hold me. His hand found my back and started stroking me softly. It was soothing and without me knowing why, my crying eased a little. He must have taken that as approval, because the next thing I knew he was lying on the bed beside me, rolling me over to face him.

I didn't want to look at his face. I couldn't. So I buried my face against his chest, as he engulfed me. He stroked my arm, giving me time to recover a little, as he rested his cheek against the top of my head. I knew we couldn't lie here like this forever; I'd have to explain.

"I have a daughter. She's nine," I volunteered in a whisper. His fingers stopped their patterns on my arm for a moment before they started again.

"Will you tell me about her?" he asked.

"Her name is Stella, and she lives with my parents. They're raising her as my sister," I said, my voice catching. "I had her less than a year after I took my promise."

Art was stroking my hair.

"Tell me all about it, little star," he implored. "Please?"

So I told him the whole tale. About Patrick and I dating at school, my disastrous first sexual experience at graduation. My grief and betrayal when I discovered I'd been nothing more than a uterus to my boyfriend; the sickening realization that I couldn't support Stella on my own, and the heartbreaking decision to give her to my parents so she could have a safe, loving childhood.

He was still holding me when I'd finished telling him, which was something I guess. But I could feel the tension radiating from him.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. Only Rose, Alberta, and my parents know," I explained. "It's not something I'm used to speaking about."

He didn't reply, just kept stroking me.

"It doesn't make any difference to how I feel about you," he finally said in a soothing tone of voice.

I laughed derisively.

"Then why is tension rolling off you as you're holding me?" I asked.

"Because it's taking everything in me not to call records at Headquarters and track down this Patrick and tear his head from his body for doing something like that to my woman!" he growled.

"You think of me as your woman?" I said so quietly I wasn't sure he'd hear me.

"I'd like to," he said, rolling back slightly to wipe the tears from my cheeks, and gaze into my eyes. "I'm sorry for my earlier comments. There's obviously a lot more to these issues than I've considered."

I nodded, still stuck on his comments about me being his woman.

"I'd like to meet her," he said a moment or two later. "And your parents. I could easily fall in love with you, little star. I think I'm already halfway there. I want to be the man who's there for you."

I didn't know what to say. It was all happening so fast, yet it felt right. So I leaned up and kissed him. He kissed me back – a long sweet loving kiss.

"Are you ready to go back downstairs?" he asked when he pulled away.

"Ugh! Everyone's going to think I'm an idiot," I groaned.

"Not at all. Everyone thinks _I'm_ the idiot," he laughed.

I mentally disagreed, but I let him help me up from Alberta's bed, and together we straightened the quilt, so it was smooth once again. He took my hand and led me to the stairs. We were at the middle landing when he looked at our hands and me questioningly. I shrugged letting him know it was up to him. He smiled, squeezed my hand once, and we finished walking downstairs together hand-in-hand.

"We're in the lounge," Rose called out naturally, hearing our footsteps on the stairs.

We walked in holding hands, and to their credit, no one said a word. Rose smiled, as did Alberta after a moment of initial surprise. Abe and Pavel looked unconcerned, and Dimitri just raised an eyebrow.

"So I suppose I know what you're all thinking," Art started a little uncertainly, not releasing my hand.

"Dude – I think what I'm _told_ to think," Dimitri said, giving Rose a pointed look.

It was the perfect comment to ease the tension. We all just cracked up, and nothing more was said. Art led me to a vacant sofa, seating himself in the corner before lifting his arm for me to cuddle in beneath it.

"Now, there's lots to do today… We have cooking preparations and decorating duties, so I thought we'd split up. Dimitri is going to start some of the food preparations for tomorrow, and I'm going to select a tree. Janine, Lissa, Christian, Mason, and Eddie are coming in quite early tomorrow, so I thought we could decorate the tree as something to do before lunch," Rose explained. "But that means choosing a tree!"

"I'll help Belikov cook," Alberta volunteered.

"Me too!" Abe announced, giving Alberta a mistrustful look. I think he wanted to stay so he wouldn't miss his opportunity when Ivan woke up.

"What would you like to do, little star?" Art asked me. From the corner of my eye, I could see Rose smile at his term of endearment.

"I want to help choose a Christmas tree!" I said, my mood vastly improved.

"Where are you thinking of going, milaya?" Dimitri asked Rose.

"Murray said there's a field that sells them not far from the township. I thought we'd go there?"

"Ok. But measure the height to the ceiling in here and subtract a foot for the base. And I'd like four of the Guardians to go with you."

"Comrade, it's daylight, and it's three Guardians going – I think we'll be safe," she teased her always overprotective boyfriend.

"I'm sure you will be, milaya. But it's Christmas for the Guardians, too, even if some of them are on shift and a long way from home. Choosing a tree is _fun_. Besides, I thought it would be nice if we got two; one for us and one for the Guardian's quarters."

"You're a good commander," Alberta complimented Dimitri, looking up from where she was cuddling his almost sleeping son. "It's that sort of thoughtfulness that sets apart a boss from a leader."

Dimitri looked embarrassed, but Alberta knew that those type of kindnesses were what made serving bearable.

"Art – you can take my truck. Put the trees in the tray," Dimitri said, fishing in his pocket for a set of keys.

"Why don't _I_ get to drive?" Rose pouted.

"Because you don't want to scratch the paintwork on your car by hauling a tree," Dimitri explained reasonably.

"That's _not_ what I meant, and you know it, Comrade. Why can't I drive the truck?!"

"Because that's my truck," Dimitri said obdurately.

"I remember Abe saying it was a _property_ vehicle. So since I live here, surely that means _I_ should be the one to drive it," she argued, looking hopefully at Abe.

"Leave me out of this," Abe laughed holding up his hands. "I'm not getting between a man and his truck."

"Fine," Rose huffed. "But I'm going to Skype Baia later and tell your Mama you're not sharing your toys," she grumbled mutinously. "I'm going to get changed into something warmer. You two might want to do likewise," she suggested to Art and me, walking upstairs.

"I think you're going to be in trouble later," Art joked to Dimitri.

He shrugged.

"It's always more fun when Rose is a little cranky," he laughed conspiratorially; and I don't think he was talking about decorating the tree!

* * *

In the end, I'd driven. We visited the human township on the way, Rose stopping in at a second-hand shop that she explained is where they'd bought most of their furniture for the cottage. The Guardians following us in the van parked discreetly down the road a little.

"This is my friend from Montana, Celeste," Rose said, introducing her to the proprietor, "and her boyfriend Art. Art, Celeste, this is Murray."

Celeste had smiled at me nervously when Rose had said boyfriend, looking for a reaction. I'd smiled and shaken the man's hand, draping an arm around Celeste.

"Went to a farmhouse sale the other day, Rosie," Murray said fondly, shuffling back into the depths of his shop. "No one else was buying the house stuff, so I bought up the whole place. Lots of good stuff, but I thought of you when I looked at the things in the attic. Lots of beautiful original German glass baubles," he said. "They'd have to be at least eighty years old. Anyway, I put them aside for you," he said, opening an old suitcase to reveal the treasures. "They're made in Germany before the second world war."

They were truly something else. Shaped like grapes, acorns, pinecones, elongated icicles and in bird shapes, these ornaments made the modern ones look like the cheap replicas they were.

"Murray they're _beautiful_ ," Rose enthused, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"I'm glad you like – they're a Christmas gift for the little man. Speaking of which, where is he today?"

"He's at home with his surrogate grandma. She's annoying everyone by refusing to hand him over," Rose laughed. "I can't accept these, Murray. You're far too generous!"

"Nonsense. Christmas ornaments take forever to sell. And when they do it's one at a time and people haggling over a dollar or two. This is a set; it deserves to stay as one. Ivan will enjoy looking at the tree with all these on it," Murray argued.

Eventually, Rose relented, but not before giving him a huge hug as well as the large box of homemade shortbread she'd brought for him. After that, she got the directions to where Murray assured us the best trees were available, even on Christmas Eve.

The trip had been glorious. Choosing a tree with Celeste and Rose had been a lot of fun. We split up from the other Guardians as they chose their tree and we chose one for the cottage. Rose behaved as though Celeste and I cuddling and mucking around in the snow were completely normal. She didn't ask any awkward questions; just accepted us and the affection we were sharing. I wasn't stupid enough to think her reaction was typical of other Dhampir, or Moroi, but it was welcome nonetheless.

We stopped at the bakery at the little township on the way back through to pick up a box of bagels and croissants she'd ordered for tomorrow.

Back at the house, Abe was playing with the baby while Alberta and Dimitri stuffed the turkey and Dimitri fussed with his grill – he was going to smoke some meats to serve cold with the croissants tomorrow for breakfast.

Rose and Celeste were busy hanging garlands from the balustrading and fashioning a Christmas wreath for the front door. Alberta was occupied making a batch of her apparently famous gingerbread biscuits, which none of us had ever known her to make, so I accompanied Belikov outside to the grill.

"So. You and Celeste, eh?" he asked, not looking at me as he carefully fanned the wood chips in the base of the barbecue.

"Yep," I said. I knew she'd been his partner for quite some time, so I was waiting for the third degree.

"She the younger woman you were thinking about a while back?" he asked brusquely.

"That would be her," I acknowledged.

"So it's more than a spur of the moment thing?"

"Yes. I'm growing to care for her very much."

"Good," Dimitri said, turning to me with a smile. "She's a good woman and deserves to be treated properly. And I'll never hear the end of it from Rose if you mess it up, so do me a favor and don't, ok?"

* * *

Something about Rose using the breast pump was sexy. I'd never mentioned it to her, but I think my eyes had dropped to her chest one too many times for her to be unaware of the effect it had on me. We were about to go to bed, and she was dressed in one of her kimono dressing gowns, sitting sideways on the armchair in front of me, her legs hanging over one arm. The machine was pressed against one of her breasts, making a rhythmical whirring noise as it pulled the nipple into a tight peak, teasing milk from her beautiful globe.

"Abe's got some good bottles of champagne for tomorrow. With this, I'll have enough milk for Ivan for the whole day. I'll do the morning and mid-morning feeds, but I might have a glass or two of champagne over lunch, and then we can bottle feed until it's out of my system."

"You're loving having everyone here, aren't you?" I asked.

"I am. It's so much better than last Christmas. I was so sad and frightened last year. With you gone, and Tasha and then finding out I was pregnant. I just feel we've earned a good Christmas."

"What was this morning with Celeste all about?"

My beautiful woman looked at me cautiously.

"She's a mother too, Dimitri. Has she ever spoken to you of her sister? Stella?"

I nodded. She was the fondest big sister I think I'd ever met. Oh...

"It's ok. She told me I could tell you," Rose continued. "It's a long story, but her first boyfriend's family have this weird thing where you have to produce Dhampir offspring to help maintain Guardian ranks before you're allowed to marry. He was in love with his Moroi girlfriend so lied and convinced Celeste he was in love with her to get her pregnant."

"The Ellifrets," I said darkly. "They're a group amongst the Moroi. A bit like a fraternity I guess? They're in Russia, too. Once the woman is pregnant, they leave her like she is nothing, not helping to support the child or the mother. Young Dhampir women would die giving birth because they couldn't afford the hospital fees so would give birth at home alone. That's how Mama became so good as a midwife – before the state-run birthing hospitals, she would help them."

"Was your father…?"

"No. He actually cared for my mother, in his own way. He'd visit and bring ridiculous expensive presents for us kids, but always the wrong size or for the wrong age. Mama and Babushka would be struggling to keep us clothed and fed, and he'd bring a three-hundred dollar doll for one of the girls. It was ludicrous." I could feel my mood souring even thinking about my father, not that the man deserved the epithet. He was no type of parent. In fact, the only thing he'd taught me about being a man or father was that I wanted to be as least like him as I could be.

Rose could read my dark expression and stood up.

"Come sit over here, Comrade," she coaxed. "I need your help."

Obediently I sat on the armchair where she'd been sitting, smiling when she perched herself on my lap. She disconnected the breast pump from one breast, capping the bottle of milk and putting it on my side table before attaching a fresh bottle to the unit and positioning it on the other breast.

"I thought you might want to hold this for me," she tempted, looking at the pump then me saucily.

I nodded, taking it from her and holding it in place; watching in fascination as it coaxed her nipple into the chamber, a thin watery milk spurting into the bottle. Then my eyes wandered to the breast she'd just drained. It still _looked_ plump and nubile, its nipple erect and slightly moist from the milk it had recently relinquished.

"Does seeing me express milk turn you on Comrade?" she asked me, watching me from beneath her lashes.

"A little bit," I admitted. I could feel myself blushing.

"Don't be embarrassed," she cooed. "Seeing you wearing a tool belt does _all sorts_ of things to me!"

"I'll remember that," I laughed.

We sat cuddled on the armchair together, me watching in fascination as she pumped milk to nourish our child.

"So what do you think is going to happen with Art and Celeste?" I asked in an attempt to divert my prurient thoughts.

"Well, she's not going to want to leave St. Vlad's. Stella is going to go there, so Celeste is holding out for that – she can't _wait_ to see her every day. I can't see Art seeking an allocation at St. Vlad's, so if it's serious, I guess it will be a long distance thing for them for a while?"

"It's a pity, but you're probably right. With Art's seniority, anything at St. Vlad's would be a step backward for him. He'll probably request a new allocation in the New Year, though. Guarding the Badicas while they live at Court is a waste for a man of his rank."

Rose had her head tucked under my chin, resting against me peacefully.

"I hope it works out for them. They both deserve to be happy," she murmured. The yield of milk from her breasts had slowed down to next to nothing, so she switched off the pump. "I'm done. Do you think you could take the milk down to the kitchen, Comrade?"

I obliged, slipping down the stairs to fridge the precious liquid before coming back upstairs. Ivan was asleep in his room, and the door to Alberta's room was closed, although there was a sliver of light evident under her door. I quietly let myself back into our room to find a surprise waiting for me. The lights were out, but there were candles all around illuminating the space. Roza lay naked in the middle of our bed, wearing nothing but a provocative expression.

Quickly closing and locking our bedroom doors, I looked at the girl I loved, the mother of my child and the woman of my dreams.

"Comrade?" she said, holding out a hand to me, "come to bed. I want to show you how much I love you; how much I appreciate everything you do for me. Consider it your first Christmas present!"

I wasted no time discarding my clothing. I wanted her every bit as much as she wanted me.

"It's not Christmas for another forty minutes," I muttered as I lifted the blankets back so we could both climb into bed.

"We'll still be going then," Rose promised, pushing me onto my back and climbing on top of me.


	69. Autumn, Reaping What We've Sown: Part 4

"Stop fussing, milaya," I begged. It was 8 am Christmas morning, and Rose was flitting from room to room, adjusting the drapes, fluffing cushions, switching on lamps and insisting I add logs to the fireplace in the formal lounge, so we had a roaring fire.

"I'll just check the bathroom is clean," she said bouncing up the stairs and into the bathroom, surveying it critically – almost annoyed to find it immaculate.

"Comrade? Have you shoveled and sanded the front walk?" she asked.

"The Guardians did it at sun-up, but I'll check it now," I said before the dark look that crossed her face had a chance to make it as far as her lips.

"Sweep the snow from the edge of the deck too, please?" she instructed, not seeing I'd already picked up the broom to do precisely that.

It was almost comical seeing how stressed Rose was about Lissa coming to see our little home for the first time. Rose had never been the showy type, but then I suppose she'd never had a home of her own. I know she was very proud of the house I'd built for her; she'd been thorough getting things ready for Celeste, Art and Alberta's arrival. But something about Lissa's imminent appearance had turned her into Martha Stewart on crack!

I'd just finished sweeping the errant snowflakes that had ill-advisedly decided to besmirch the pristine timbers of the front porch with their crystalline presence and was adjusting the cushions and throw on the porch swing into a more aesthetically pleasing display when the miniature speaker pinned to my collar chirped into life.

"Commander Belikov? I have Guardians Hathaway Senior, Castile, Ashford, Lord Christian Ozera and Princess Dragomir at the entryway. Permission to proceed?" The Guardians knew the legendary Janine Hathaway, as well as Christian and Lissa, were attending today, so they were at their most formal. Something about Rose's mother scared the shit out of them. I could kind of see their point…

"Granted. Send them down to the cottage please, and advise the main house our guests have arrived," I instructed, ducking back inside to closet the broom and tell Roza her wait was over and our guests had arrived. Alberta shot me an amused glance over her coffee cup, not incognizant to Rose's visitor-induced panic.

From the front windows, I could see a Court SUV pull up alongside Art's outside the workshop. Eddie and Mason were in casual clothes yet still on duty, carefully checking around the vehicle before exiting and opening the rear doors for Lissa and Christian to exit, followed by Janine. As Commander of the property, I approached to do the formal handover. Speaking into my lapel microphone, I called for four of the on-duty Guardians to attend.

"Ashford, Castile, Hathaway Senior," I greeted, smirking a little internally at the surprised start Janine gave when she was addressed as 'Senior.' Technically it was the correct address, however as Rose hadn't begun working as a Guardian, everyone was still addressing Janine as Guardian Hathaway.

I ran them through the security measures in place, outlined the emergency plans in case of attack, and introduced them to part of the security detail - explaining that in addition to those on duty, there were a large number of Guardians on site, including Pavel, Rose, Alberta, Art, Celeste and myself who were off duty today.

"There's twenty-one Guardians, three Moroi, two feeders and the baby. The property is warded - your charges are in good hands, guys; stand down," I said, seeing Mason and Eddie relax their stance. "Janine, lovely to see you again," I said, leaning down to give my diminutive mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek.

"Belikov... I mean Dimitri," she acknowledged, quickly correcting herself when I raised an eyebrow at her. If her relationship with Rose was confusing, then I don't even know how to describe ours. Civil but not yet friendly, it was safest to say we had mixed feelings about the other.

"Lissa, Christian," I acknowledged politely. "Please come in, all of you. Rose will be so excited to see you all."

Eddie and Mason opened the trunk to pull out a bag with presents. I noticed the back was filled with luggage, but Rose had mentioned Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Mason would be coming straight from Lehigh, stopping only to collect Janine at Court on the way through.

"You're here!" Rose squealed from the front porch. My breath hitched looking at her. Back into her skinny jeans and a tight gray ribbed sweater, her slightly larger breasts were the only visible change from the beautiful girl I'd first met last year in Portland. Actually, there was something different about her eyes, too; a contentment that hadn't been there previously. I recognized the look from my own eyes. She was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and I had to concentrate _hard_ to stop my mind wandering to how she'd looked riding me in passion last night.

My girl raced across the porch, launching herself first at Mason and Eddie, then Lissa. Finally, she wished Christian a happy Christmas with an only slightly awkward kiss on the cheek, Janine receiving a friendlier version of the same.

"Come inside – it's freezing out!" she encouraged. Eddie, Mason, and Janine already knew the house and layout, but this was the first visit for Lissa and Christian. "Alberta's in the kitchen," Rose explained to the others, preparing to give Lissa and Christian the grand tour.

* * *

Lissa was staring about her in awe. She knew Dimitri had built the house for me, but while she was trying to conceal it, a quick brush of her mind revealed she'd been expecting something _much_ more rustic. She'd honestly half-expected no internal walls and perhaps even a mattress on the floor. The fact this house looked closer to something from Home Beautiful than her own tastefully appointed, professionally decorated apartment at Lehigh surprised her.

"You said Dimitri built this for you?" she asked, looking around in amazement.

"Well there _was_ a cottage here, but he restumped, rewired, replumbed, extended it twenty feet on one end, put in a new kitchen, new laundry, new bathroom and powder room, took the roof off and added the second story, put three bedrooms up there, added the dormers and re-roofed. He also remodeled the entire ground floor, put in the new staircase, redid the porch boards, added the stairs and balustrading and reclad the outside before painting inside and out. He's also done loads around the property and has plans for so much more. Anyway, put your things down, and I'll show you around."

I started with the formal lounge. Opening off the entryway with an arch, it was looking beautiful. The real Christmas tree in the corner beside the roaring fire was welcoming, and the sofas looked warm and inviting. I led them through to the dining room and then back out into the entryway, pointing out the powder room along the way. We went upstairs, stopping on the middle landing to show her the photo collage. I showed them a couple of 'before' pictures of the cottage, but I noticed her looking at several photos of her and me over the years with a smile.

Upstairs I continued the tour by opening the double doors to our bedroom with a flourish. With fresh flowers, a warm throw, some artfully placed books and a tastefully cropped version of my favorite photo of Dimitri and me in a polished silver frame on my bedside, the room looked comfortable and somehow very Dimitri and I. Lissa was looking around with undisguised curiosity. Somehow Lissa still found it hard to imagine Dimitri and me living together essentially as man and wife. In her head, she still saw us as mentor and student. Seeing our two personalities melded into a single intimate living space surprised her.

The bathroom was dutifully admired, then I showed them the guest room which Alberta had thoughtfully straightened so it would show to best advantage.

"One room left upstairs to show you," I said with a grin, opening the door to Ivan's room. Decorated in navy and gray, his room was beautiful. But by far the most gorgeous thing in the room was lying in his crib, playing with his feet.

"Hello, handsome! Are you awake зайчик?" I said, picking up my happy little boy. He was smiling right now, but I knew he'd want a feed any minute now.

Christian looked at Ivan and then back at me.

"He looks like you, Rose… But like Dimitri, too." I knew it was the final confirmation for Christian – that Ivan was Dimitri's son.

"Dimitri says he looks more like me when he's hungry," I laughed; a reference to my prodigious appetite.

"You're looking fabulous, Rose," Lissa complimented me. "You'd never tell you'd had a baby four months ago."

"Thanks. Half of it's the breastfeeding, but I'm back training again, so that helps. If you want a cuddle of Ivan, I suggest you take him now. Alberta grabs him any chance she gets, and Janine likes her fair share of him, too," I giggled. I'd like to see who'd win in a Janine/Alberta stoush for Ivan.

I passed a rather nervous Lissa Ivan to hold. She looked apprehensive at first, but when my easygoing boy gave her one of his gorgeous gummy smiles she loosened up a bit.

"I've got breakfast for us all downstairs, but if you'd like to feed, Abe has feeders up at the main house?"

"We fed just before we left, so maybe after lunch," Lissa said with a look at Christian who nodded.

"Great! Then let's eat," I suggested, walking back downstairs and showing them into the bright, spacious living, meals, kitchen area.

"What a great kitchen!" Christian enthused, looking around our large country-style setup. "That range is _incredible_!"

"Thanks. We could have gone for something smaller, but we both cook a lot, and I like to cook Sunday lunch for the Guardians every week, so it's handy to have something big."

Eddie and Mason were playing a car racing game on the console, while Janine and Alberta were chatting away at the kitchen table. Dimitri was loading bagels and croissants onto platters in preparation for breakfast.

"Need a hand?" Christian surprised by asking him.

I was opening my mouth to say no, that he was a guest when Lissa silently interjected.

 _Please let him. He's feeling nervous and awkward, but he likes to cook, and it gives him something to do.  
_

Dimitri looked up and shrugged, reaching into a drawer and tossing him a manly apron before setting him to work slicing smoked turkey breast. Lissa sat at the table with Ivan a little awkwardly. I noticed Janine and Alberta made no attempt to include her in their conversation. While it wasn't outright rude, it wasn't exactly friendly either.

"I can't believe how much he's grown," Lissa said gratefully when I grabbed a coffee and sat beside her. "He's so handsome, too!"

"Best looking baby ever," Alberta piped up, looking at him indulgently.

"And you're not _at all_ biased, are you Alberta?" I laughed.

Abe and Pavel were climbing the back stairs to the deck and let themselves in, Art and Celeste on their tail.

"Perfect timing," I said. "We're just about to have breakfast. Guys you all remember Celeste from St Vlad's? This is Art Schonberg, my father Abe Mazur and his personal Guardian Pavel. Can I introduce Lissa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, and Guardians Eddie Castile and Mason Ashford."

"Your _father?"_ Celeste gasped. Lissa wasn't saying anything, but I could tell she was shocked, too.

"Yeah. Long story that. I'll tell you about it later," I laughed.

Abe stepped forward, shaking hands and kissing cheeks while Pavel put a case of champagne on the countertop, opening it and quickly putting bottle after bottle into the fridge.

"You look lovely Janine," Abe said handsomely, kissing my mother's cheek. I was amused to see her blush.

"Hey! This is the first time I've been in the same room as both my parents!" I said in surprise. "That's gotta be worth a photo! Comrade? Where's the camera?"

Dimitri fished a portable camera out of one of the kitchen drawers, taking several photos of me standing between Abe and Janine. Janine looked a little uncomfortable but finally managed a smile. Abe was grinning.

Art and Celeste joined us at the table, and it was impossible to ignore the glittering bracelet Celeste wore on one wrist. It screamed new and expensive.

"That's such a lovely bracelet," Lissa observed, always one to notice bling.

"Thank you. It was a Christmas present from Art," Celeste simpered, giving him a look that couldn't be misinterpreted. I noticed Janine lifting a brow to Alberta, the latter just smiling and shrugging. Art flushed a little, but still took Celeste's hand in his, resting it on top of the table between them.

"Who's ready to eat?" Dimitri asked, bringing huge platters of food to the table. We all took seats, Christian and the guys sitting at the adjacent kitchen bench with Dimitri as there weren't enough seats at the table. In no time we were all helping ourselves to the croissants, bagels, sliced smoked meats, cheeses, fruits and conserves. Dimitri was pouring the coffees and teas when Lissa looked to relinquish Ivan so she could have her meal.

She passed him to me, and I cuddled him in one arm while I quickly loaded a plate for myself.

"I'll feed him if you have a bottle?" Janine quickly volunteered.

"I do, but I really need to nurse him; my boobs are about to explode," I laughed. Mason started choking on his juice, causing everyone to look at him in amusement. Christian stared at his plate and kept eating, but I noticed he also looked uncomfortable.

"Anyone touches my plate, they _die_ ," I warned, moving over to the sofas to feed Ivan. I sat in one corner, so the arm of the sofa obscured what I was doing. I didn't have a problem with feeding in front of other people, but I knew Pavel got a bit embarrassed about it, and Mason made a point of not even looking in my direction if I was nursing – even when I had a wrap draped over me. There were several hopeful sets of eyes as I returned to the table holding Ivan, but I couldn't neglect the one person who wanted to hold him the most, so pretending not to notice those quickly pushing their plates away expectantly, I passed my little man to his Papa.

Dimitri's loving smile as he played with our son melted my heart. He was such a hands-on Papa, always talking to our little man and telling him he was loved and precious. He was speaking to him in Russian now, but he was talking too quickly for me to understand much despite my Russian lessons. Lissa caught me trying to follow what he was saying, so interpreted.

 _He's asking Ivan if he enjoyed the milk and is telling him he needs Mama's milk to grow big and strong. Then he said he understands Ivan liking Mama's breasts because he likes them, too._

I could feel her surprise and amusement coming through the bond, and looking around the table I could see Abe and Pavel smirking a little.

"That's quite enough talk about my breasts at the breakfast table, thank you, Comrade!" I said shooting him a look and causing Mason to nearly choke again.

Dimitri's head shot up, and he looked at me in surprise.

"Sorry milaya," he mumbled, appeasing an outraged Janine by passing Ivan to her. "There you go, little man. I think your Neenee wants a cuddle!"

"Neenee?" Eddie asked, deftly changing the conversation as a repentant Dimitri started clearing the table.

"Grandma or Nanna didn't seem right," Janine explained. "So Neenee it is."

"So he's got a Neenee, a Babushka, a Grandma Bertie and a Dede," I said with a smile. "Now as it's his first Christmas, I thought Ivan might like to watch us decorating the tree!"

Lissa's face lit up; decorating the tree was one of her favorite Christmas activities, and something we'd always done together. I'd intentionally delayed it so we could do it together today. Christian gave me a look of thanks. He knew how much it meant to Lissa.

"You guys start – I'll get some of the things for lunch going and join you in a minute," Dimitri suggested.

"I'll help you," Christian offered.

I grabbed the camera, and the rest of us traipsed through into the formal lounge. I'm not sure how it worked out that way, but Abe ended up on one sofa between Alberta and Janine, Ivan perched between my parents.

"Aww рыбка! Look at you there with your Dede and Neenee," I cooed, taking photos of the three of them. Janine probably wouldn't like it, so I didn't make a big deal about it, but it was kind of weird to see my parents with a baby perched between them. In another life that could have been me, I thought. Lissa saw my face and gave my hand a quick squeeze.

Art and Celeste were cuddled up on the other sofa with Eddie at one end, Mason sitting on the rug beside them. I got the box of vintage ornaments from Murray out, passing it to Mason.

"Be careful with those. Murray gave them to Ivan for Christmas. They're all at least eighty years old and hand blown glass."

Lissa peered into the box.

"Wow – they're beautiful!" she said. "Who's Murray?"

"I've become good friends with a guy who runs a second-hand store in the human township about ten minutes away," I explained. "I saw Ivan's rocking chair outside his shop, and it was the start of a beautiful friendship! Dimitri and I both like vintage furniture, so we bought a lot of the furniture here from him."

"It looks so good, Rose. You've done a great job putting it together," Lissa complimented, still shocked that we had such a beautiful home.

"Thanks, but it was just as much Dimitri. He was a man on a mission to get this place completed before Ivan arrived."

For the next hour, Lissa and I decorated the Christmas tree while the others chatted and issued instructions from the sofas. Dimitri and Christian appeared with plates of biscuits; the Lebkuchen Art had made, the gingerbread from Alberta and shortbread Dimitri and I had made a few days prior. We'd made a massive batch to include in the little Christmas baskets we'd given to each of the Guardians.

I put Ivan down for his nap, and came back downstairs to find Abe had opened the champagne. While I'd been upstairs, Dimitri had put the presents out beneath the tree. Ivan had more than the rest of us put together, but that was to be expected; Christmas was all about children!

Before I knew it, Eddie, Mason, and Dimitri were extending the dining table, Ivan was awake again and being bottle fed by Abe while Janine and Alberta watched on giving critical advice, Celeste and Art were sneaking kisses when they thought no one was looking and Lissa and I were setting the Christmas table. I had to laugh thinking of Alyce as I laid out the plain white place settings that I'd spruced up with some fancy decorative side plates.

Then Dimitri and Christian co-opted Eddie, Mason, and Pavel to help bring the mountains of food to the table. We all sat, Ivan between Dimitri and I in his high chair, while Abe said grace. Nominally Muslim, but in truth agnostic, he nonetheless managed to say just the right thing; acknowledging those loved but not with us, as well as the bonds of family, friendship, and love that brought us together to celebrate today. It was a touching offering and managed to cover everyone's situation without being too specific.

The meal was phenomenal. While I'd helped with some of the prep work, most of the cooking had been Dimitri's doing. We had turkey, roast beef, glazed ham, roast vegetables and so many sides it wasn't funny. I was so proud to see my man at the head of the table, masterfully carving the roasts for our family and friends! We'd discussed it with the Pediatrician at the last visit, and we'd planned a special surprise for everyone over lunch; today Ivan was going to get his first taste of solids! Dimitri had made plain stewed apples to go with the roast pork, so once everyone was settled eating, I got a cup and spoon and mashed a little bit to make sure it was super smooth.

"Comrade? It's 1 am in Baia, but your Mama will want to see this. Can you record it on your phone?"

Dimitri obliged, setting up the video function on his phone and leaning it against a bottle of champagne on the tabletop. I pulled out a bib that also covered Ivan's arms; I'd heard solids were a messy business!

"Hey guys – look at this," I said, getting the attention of the table. "Vanushka? Look what Mama has for you!" I scooped a little apple onto the end of the spoon and held it out to him. I opened my mouth to show him what to do, and he copied, so I put the tiniest bit of applesauce onto the end of his tongue.

His face was priceless! Shocked but interested, he was opening and closing his mouth in wonder before squealing with excitement.

"Oh Roza – he is _so_ your child," Dimitri chuckled. "That's what you look like when you see a chocolate doughnut!"

"Shut up and give him a spoonful," I laughed, handing him the cup and spoon.

We took turns giving Ivan tastes of apple, while the table watched on in amusement. Finally, we had eaten so much we could eat no more. We quickly cleared the table, Dimitri stacking the dishwasher and wiping down the table. Many hands made light work, and in no time at all, we were back in the lounge getting ready to distribute the Christmas presents.

The Secret Santa had been an inspired idea. It meant each person would get one hopefully decent gift and not a whole heap of stuff they didn't need. There were some hard people to buy for here, so it would be interesting to see what people got. Because so many were for Ivan, we decided to intersperse opening gifts for him with passing out the ones to the adults.

"Comrade – you can open the ones for Ivan. Eddie, you can have a cuddle with the little guy," I said, mentally keeping track of who'd yet to have time with Ivan today.

I sat in my favorite spot – next to the Christmas tree in the plum spot to hand out the presents. The first one was for Christian. It was a remote control drone.

"Wicked! I've wanted one of these," he said with a megawatt grin. Eddie looked pleased, so I thought it might have been from him.

The next adult to get a gift was Alberta. She'd been given a foot spa with lots of fancy pedicure products. While I thought it was a bit of a boring gift, Alberta seemed pleased with it. I didn't have to ask who'd given that one – I could tell from the bond it had been Lissa.

Abe was next up, and he looked genuinely delighted to receive the loudest most lurid scarf I'd seen yet. In garish greens and yellows, it clashed hideously with his skin tone, but he loved it. A twitch of Janine's mouth let me know who'd probably had to buy for Abe!

The next present was small but heavy, and it was for my Russian God. I already knew what this one was and who'd given it. A socket set, and three paperback Westerns, it was from Mason. He'd rung me in a panic last week because he just couldn't think of what to get Dimitri. My love was very pleased; he always liked new books, and the socket set at the house was missing pieces and rusty, and he had wanted to replace it.

Lissa cried when she opened her present. Also a book, hers was in Russian and had the Dragomir crest on the front. It was at least a hundred years old and was a biography of the last Dragomir King. I suspected it was well over the thirty-dollar limit, but since I suspected Abe got Lissa, I don't suppose it mattered.

The old theme continued with the next gift; an antique stake holder for Art. It turned out Pavel had realized he and Art both collected antique stakes and Guardian equipment, so Pavel had gifted Art an antiquated Russian holder. The two men were soon deep in conversation about their collections, and a promise was made to get together to discuss their treasures in details soon. They might have spoken about it forever had Art not become distracted by Celeste's gift.

I'd drawn Celeste, and thinking Art might need a little inspiration to get things moving, I'd used this opportunity to give Celeste the very sheer and sexy babydoll set I'd bought her months ago when I'd gone shopping in Missoula. It had been closer to forty than thirty dollars, but the look on Art's face when Celeste unwrapped it was priceless. Celeste's face was a picture too; she looked around in concern, wondering who might buy her that type of getup.

"I should clarify – I bought that one. I thought you might enjoy something a bit more feminine than workout wear," I said innocently, pretending not to notice Art looking like as though he felt the gift was for him every bit as much as it was for her!

Janine was up next, and I was curious to see if she'd enjoy her present. My darling had drawn her, and the two of us had thought long and hard about what to buy. Eventually, Dimitri had come up with an idea, drawing on his experiences as an ex-pat. He'd packed a box full of iconic Scottish foods, mainly sweets and things Janine might have enjoyed as a kid. Most of it we'd ordered on the Internet.

The box had the obligatory cans of Irn-Bru and Barr's Ginger Beer, as well as a couple of Wham Bars, a box of Tunnocks tea cakes, caramel wafers and snowballs, Scottish Tablets, Highland Toffee bars, Kramola Fizz a modern version of Creamola Foam, Cola Cubes, Soor Plooms, Edinburgh Rock and tinned Baxters soups in Scotch Broth; Broccoli, Salmon and Watercress; Royal Game and Cock-a-Leekie. We'd also got some Highland Heather Honey, some Mackie's chips in Turkey and Haggis stuffing flavor and a tin of Tennant's Lager. With the shipping factored in, it had cost a _lot_ more than the spending limit, but neither Dimitri nor I cared. We just hoped she liked it because Janine was a very hard person to buy for.

She was silent at first when she opened the box, and I thought if anything she might be angry. But one by one as she pulled out the delicacies she'd comment on them, and she moaned when she saw the Soor Plooms and the soups.

"I haven't had these in years! I didn't know you could still buy them! How did you find all this? Who bought me this?" she demanded.

"I did," Dimitri confessed. "Although Rose helped me. We didn't know what you might remember, so we got a range of stuff. You can buy it online."

Janine got up and surprised everyone by giving my Russian God a genuine hug.

"I love it. I can'nae believe you found it!" she said, intentionally slipping into a Scottish accent.

"Do that again!" I squealed. "I've never heard you talk Scottish!"

"Aye when you were just a wee bairn I used to sing to you in Scots," she said in the full accent, blushing a bit.

We were all laughing, even Janine.

"You've never been back?" Alberta asked.

"Not since I took my promise," Janine said with a sad smile.

"You should, Janine," Art said. "You don't have to take an allocation. Go for a holiday."

"Nah. I don't know anyone over there, anymore. Besides, it's no fun going without someone to show it to."

"I'll go with you," I immediately volunteered, earning a surprised look from Dimitri as well as Abe. "We could make a girls' week of it? I'll have to bring Ivan if I'm still feeding, but I'm sure he'd love a week away with his Neenee."

"I do have a lot of leave owing," Janine admitted, appearing to consider it. "And it would be fun to see some of the places I grew up. Just to see how the place has changed you know?"

I gave her an encouraging smile. I had no idea about my extended family or my mother's childhood and adolescence. Janine had simply never spoken about it. I had so many questions about where I came from, and a trip like this would be the perfect place to start getting some answers. Besides, things had been going so well between Janine and I. Removing all the expectations between us had helped a lot. It had been surprisingly easy to let go. We had next to no relationship previously, so I just mentally separated 'Mom' from 'Janine' and got to know the latter.

"Someone's getting squirmy, and I think he needs a change," Eddie said holding Ivan out at arm's length towards Dimitri.

"Come on Vanya," he cooed, taking our son from Eddie.

"Try and put him down, Comrade. He's due for his sleep," I requested. "Pavel! You're next." I passed him a bottle bag.

"I'll enjoy this," Pavel said with a polite smile, showing us the bottle of red wine. Christian, if I had to hazard a guess. It was the sort of unimaginative gift I could imagine him giving.

Dimitri had just come back downstairs when Eddie got his gift. To say he was blown away by the practice Tantō and the opportunity to attend the Master Kobayashi seminar was an understatement. The guy was speechless, and Art was grinning, pleased his present had been such a hit.

There was only Mason and me left now. I passed him his envelope, hoping his Secret Santa had got him something good. He looked pretty pleased with his hour-long Harley Davidson motorbike ride voucher. He'd wanted to get a motorbike since he was about ten. I looked around wondering who knew him well enough to know that?

And then it was my turn. I unwrapped my present to find a photo album and an envelope. I opened the envelope first to find a pedicure voucher for a salon at court. I'd enjoy that – it was the sort of thing I'd never buy myself but would use and get pleasure from. Then I looked at the album. It was a gorgeous leather-tooled album. I was just thinking it would be perfect for pictures of Ivan when I opened it to see a different looking youngster. Me.

The entire album was filled with pictures of me from four years of age onwards. In class, around campus, asleep, in the pool. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. There was the first day of school photos, me grinning at the camera when I'd lost a tooth, pictures of me with sports day medals. Through every phase and stage, there were photos documenting my life.

I got to the age of fifteen after we'd taken off, but there were still photos.

"I called Lissa and asked for copies," Alberta explained.

There were photos of Lissa and me at parties, at the human schools we'd attended. There was even a picture of me on the plane that Dimitri had taken and sent to the school as proof we'd been recovered. The photos continued after our recovery. Some of Dimitri and I training, some around campus. There was even one taken at graduation probably only seconds before Tasha had stood up. The last pages were photos of me in August – heavily pregnant and then finally a beautiful shot of Dimitri, Ivan and me in the St Vladimir's infirmary.

"I meant to give this to you in August, but once we made the arrangements for Christmas I thought I'd contact Lissa to fill in the two years you were away," she explained.

"Thanks, Alberta," I said with a teary smile. I can't explain how loved the album made me feel.

"Now, I do have another surprise today, but I understand it's getting late and some of you might need to go? Lissa, Christian – you're very welcome to stay overnight if you'd like? Rose has prepared a room in the main house for you, and there's plenty of space in the Guardian quarters for Eddie and Mason, or they can also stay in the main house if you prefer? Janine, you might also like to stay? Or if you need to return to Court, I can have one of the Guardians drop you back?" Dimitri asked.

Lissa and Christian looked at one another, and I had to suppress a smile when I skimmed Lissa's thoughts. She was keen to stay. She was having a good time, besides she wanted to get a look inside Abe's house to see how a mobster lived.

"Eddie? Mason? Is there a problem with us staying overnight?" Lissa asked.

They said there wasn't, so Lissa accepted the invitation.

"Well, I'm still on Moroi time, but if I have a power nap now, I'll be able to go the distance. If there's a spare bed, I'll stay," Janine surprised us all by announcing.

"Have a nap on our bed or on the bed in Ivan's room, Janine," Dimitri suggested. "This surprise is outside, so you can nap here while Ivan does. He usually sleeps a couple of hours at this time of day, and it will save me getting one of the Guardians down to sit in the house with him while we're outside. Later on, you can have one of the rooms in the Guardian Quarters."

"There's heaps of rooms made up, Janine," I assured her.

"Nonsense," Abe interjected. "She'll sleep in the main house."

"Guardian Quarters are _fine_ , Abe," Janine argued.

"Janine you're the mother of my child. You'll not be sleeping in the Guardian Quarters. There are several pretty rooms in the main house. You have your nap, the rest of us can go up there now, and Rose can choose a nice room for you. Lissa, Christian and I can feed, and then we can enjoy this surprise of Dimitri's."

And that's how it worked out. After being told we should rug up, we walked up to the main house. The Moroi fed and then Abe conducted a tour of his home. Now it was done it was a masterpiece, and everyone complimented him liberally. When we were ready to go, Dimitri borrowed Abe's new scarf to tie around my eyes.

"This next surprise is for everyone, but it's especially for my Roza," Dimitri said, lifting me in his arms and carrying me across to a spot on the other side of the property. Dimitri had not let me over this part of the property for the last week, so I had no idea what might be waiting.

I heard laughing and a couple of 'wow' comments, then Dimitri set me back on my feet.

"Happy Christmas, milaya. To make up for last year," he whispered into my ear. Then he untied the scarf, and I looked in front of me in awe. My wonderful, loving man had made our very own outdoor ice-skating rink!

"You are freaking _kidding_ me?!" I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him fervently. "Dimitri Belikov you are the most wonderful man ever!"

"Come put your skates on, then," he said with a grin, showing me where there were boxes of brand-new skates, each with a name written on the lid.

"How did you know the sizes?" Art asked in surprise.

"Esme," he laughed. "Shoe size is in the Guardian personnel files. She wouldn't let me call for the records because they're confidential, but when I explained I had friends coming for Christmas and was planning an ice-skating surprise, she was happy to call for the files and give me the shoe sizes. Then I rang and asked Eddie for Lissa and Christian's sizes, and Pavel gave me Abe's."

My Russian God had thought of everything. There were packets of new thick socks here, too. He looked very pleased with himself as he helped me lace my skates, quickly donning a pair himself.

Hand in hand we walked to the rink. It was an irregular shape, made up with a snow border to keep the water in.

"We used to do this every year in Baia," Dimitri explained. You have to keep adding water but if you do it will last a month or so.

My hand in his we started skating around together, getting closer as we each could tell the other knew how to skate quite well. Grabbing me around the waist, Dimitri pulled himself against me from behind, whispering loving comments in my ear.

"This should have been last year, milaya. I should have been there skating with you. I should have been by your side when you found out about Ivan. But I'm here now, and I love you."

"Next year we'll be able to buy Ivan skates," I whispered back.

"Hopefully next year you'll be pregnant again," he replied, kissing my neck gently. "And next time I'll be there for every single moment," he promised.


	70. Autumn, Reaping What We've Sown: Part 5

True to his word, when we'd got a positive pregnancy test the following May, Dimitri had been over the moon. And he'd held me, and we'd cried together when only a week later I started bleeding. We'd been so busy in Baia the following month it wasn't until my breasts started aching that I dared test again. Nine months later Olena came over to America again - this time for the birth of Anya Dimitrievna Belikov. As anticipated, our gorgeous little girl wrapped her Papa around her finger right from the aft; as did Lydia Dimitrievna Belikov who surprised us when she arrived a mere eleven and a half months after her sister!

With three under three, Dimitri and I made the decision we were done. He talked about extending the cottage so Lydia could have her own room, but the girls were inseparable, so we never bothered.

It was at the Christmas before Lydia turned one that I came up with the idea that changed our lives. Dimitri and I were mucking around and sparring for the amusement of the adults and kids when someone commented that I was back in shape already. I'd laughed and said anyone would be back in shape and fit to work as a Guardian if they had access to training and support like I did.

A couple of hours later, and the idea was born. I wanted to start a program for Dhampir mothers to finish their training or retrain to rejoin the workforce. Celeste, Janine, Alberta and I sat at the kitchen table with a large piece of paper discussing what was needed, Abe, Art and Dimitri making the occasional suggestion. Lissa and Christian weren't with us that year – they'd married and were away on their honeymoon. Lissa was being groomed to become queen, so they'd wanted to marry before it had to be a royal wedding.

They only got back a week before our wedding. I'd finally said yes to becoming Mrs. Belikov, and we wed in a garden ceremony at the property. We'd done a midsummer's night dream theme, with the vows in a shaded bower at the setting of the sun, followed by dancing in a clearing amongst the trees with Russian folk music. The scene was magical with fairy lights wound around the trees, round after round of delicious food, and at the end of the evening fireworks. While we'd intentionally kept it small, by the time all our nearest and dearest were included, it was still quite a bash! Lissa had pitched a fit when I'd described how I wanted our wedding, but in the end, she admitted it was the most romantic wedding she'd ever attended.

I'd used my trust fund to finance the first round of my idea for Dhampir mothers. Run out of St. Vladimir's; it was a two-month intensive held over the summer months. Alberta had put the word out through the head Guardians at the other educational institutions. We'd hoped to get enough interested parties to run a trial group of ten. We'd ended up with over a hundred applicants.

We learned a lot from the first round, but at the end of nine weeks, we had seven qualified female Guardian mothers ready and able to take up positions. While the royal Moroi had largely proven resistant to accepting a Guardian who was a parent, plenty of non-royal Moroi families felt a live-in Guardian with a plus-one was better than no Guardian at all. Another two graduates were helped to re-enrol in their Novice studies, their children now being old enough to attend an Academy, and the one who didn't have what it took to be a Guardiann was helped to find suitable employment. So all in all, the project was considered a success.

The second round was more focussed. This time we took fifteen women, all former Guardians or Novices, and our results were even better. We found it helped to have female Guardians, and in particular mothers teaching, and I was stunned by the number of women Guardians who discreetly let us know they were interested in helping. There were a lot more Guardians who were mothers than I'd appreciated. Celeste was the first to volunteer. After that first Christmas at our place, Art had taken a second week of leave and driven to Virginia with Celeste to be introduced to her family. It was a whirlwind romance, but it had stood the test of time. Fifteen years on, and they were still going strong. Stella now knew the truth about her parentage and couldn't be prouder of her sister-mom.

Celeste had never needed to wreak her revenge on her ex. Patrick Moriarty, an alleged upstanding member of the Moroi community, had been severely beaten and left for dead by persons unknown when leaving a brothel at Court. His legs had been broken in so many places that once recovered he permanently needed the help of a cane to walk. At thirty-two, it was a blow to the keen amateur sportsman. And if rumor were to believed, his legs weren't the only parts of his lower anatomy to be permanently incapacitated. While his wife stayed with him for the sake of their children, the word was any trust or love between them ended with the public scandal of his infidelity. Art and Abe both denied any involvement, but I knew it was one of them. My money was on Abe; it happened only a few months after Celeste had shared her story with Janine and Abe and volunteered to help with my program.

The biggest surprise was when Janine volunteered. At forty-five she'd decided it was time to move into a less active Guardian role. We were now getting applications from all over the world; there was more than enough demand to expand the program. So we went to Queen Tatiana and asked for money and resources to make it happen. I would have gone in there and demanded Tatiana cough up, but Lissa had been invaluable, helping put together valid arguments backed up with quantifiable proof that the program worked, that there was a need, that it didn't encourage teenage pregnancy or promiscuity and it meant more Moroi families were protected.

At Lissa's insistence, we'd asked for much more than we thought we'd need; an entire family-friendly accommodation block on campus at St. Vlad's, a second gym, a crèche, money to employ a couple of senior Guardians to oversee a year-round program – specifically Art Schoenberg and Janine Hathaway – and finally funding for Dimitri and I to open a second trial program, this time at St. Basil's. And we'd got it! That's how with a two, a three and a nearly five-year-old we'd made the move to Russia for two years.

We'd lived at St. Basil's, but had transited to Baia every weekend. It had been hard work and at times scary; three times we'd been attacked on the road by Strigoi, but each time we'd lived to tell the tale. The kids adored their weekends with their aunts, cousins, Babushka and Prababushka, but especially the two summers we'd stayed in Baia and the visit to Turkey on the way back home. The kids became fluent in Russian, and even I became pretty good at it. Seeing Dimitri at home had been wonderful – and we made the commitment to go back regularly and also to send each of the kids for an exchange year to St. Basil's as part of their education.

The kids were six, seven and eight and a half when we had our first loss. We were back in Pennsylvania when we got the call. Mason. He'd been off-duty and in the wrong place at the wrong time. It had hit us all hard, but especially Christian. Over the years he and Mase had become close. Lissa had not long been Queen and was expecting her first child. All she and Christian had wanted to do was hide from the world and mourn the guy who'd become a part of their family, but they couldn't. She'd been so distressed they'd escape Court and come to the property most weekends, staying as a guest in Abe's house as together we grieved.

It had been a special time for Lissa and I. As a new Queen there were few people she felt she could trust, and none who were mothers. While I'd first been pregnant some nine years before, I knew Lissa better than anyone ever would, and we grew closer as she also became a mother. For probably the first time since I'd fallen pregnant with Ivan, it felt like we were truly sisters again.

Before we knew it, Ivan was heading to St. Vlad's. We'd made the decision to send him from Junior High as it was the major intake year for those who didn't do elementary on campus. I was nervous as hell, even though Alberta, Janine, Celeste, and Art all lived on campus and Dimitri, the girls and I visited for a total of six months that year. I did my best to stay on the other side of campus. I gave our son his space, and only insisted on a visit once a week for Sunday lunch. But I'm not too proud to admit I might have had almost every Guardian on campus reporting back to me about how our firstborn was going.

When it was time to send Anya, she refused to go without Lydia. Academically she'd always been the weakest of our kids, so we repeated her a year and sent the girls together. It made sense. While they weren't twins, they might as well have been, and the more outgoing Lydia helped her older sister. If I'd been worried about sending Ivan, I was petrified about sending my baby girls – so we'd moved to campus that year, teaching in the now booming program while Art and Celeste had spent the year at St. Basil's further expanding that program.

Which brought us back to the here and now. Sitting in the courtyard at Abe's house in Turkey, we'd stopped in for a quick visit on our way back to America. With the kids all settled at St. Vlad's, we'd gone to Russia for three months. Ostensibly to check the program at St. Basil's, it was really to see Yeva. She was getting on, and Dimitri and I both worried she wouldn't be with us much longer. Time seemed like it was on fast-forward, and I knew before we turned around twice Ivan would be graduating, the girls not far behind him.

The program at St. Basil's was going well, and there was talk of opening a third at St Christopher's. Janine had said she'd go to set it up. She was leaving in January, so we were coming home to host Dimitri's fortieth then a big family Christmas.

With Lissa's three kids and my own, plus the many others who'd grown to become our nearest and dearest, we'd outgrown the cottage for Christmases some time ago, so now we held it in Abe's main residence on the property. It seemed to get bigger every year, but Abe, Dimitri and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"What are you thinking, Comrade?" I asked. My Russian God still had his eyes closed, sitting in the sun.

"I was thinking of the first time I told you I loved you that morning before Alberta told me about my reallocation."

"When you slipped up and said you loved me you mean?!" I teased with a smile.

"It wasn't a slip-up. I wanted you to know, so I said it on purpose, I was just too nervous to say it more directly," he confessed.

"Why were you nervous? _Surely_ you knew I felt the same way?"

"I hoped… But when you said you did, I knew that I wanted to be with you forever."

Sixteen years and the man still managed to surprise me. I was the luckiest woman in the world!

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ooOOoo **The End** ooOOoo

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Into the Ether - VA Fanfiction  
Swimming the Same Deep Waters  
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